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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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What the fuck?!
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Marnie, what the fuck?
When did you get here?
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Like, 1:00 AM. You were just
asleep for, like, 13 hours.
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How did you get in?
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If you think your country windows
are secure downstairs, think again.
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What are you doing here?
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I would like to help
you raise your baby.
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Oh, Jesus Christ.
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You're about to go through
an incredibly intense,
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emotional, tough, but
miraculous transition.
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And I would like to be here
to help and support you.
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00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:54,956
Well, this is just like Adam's pitch
and that didn't work out so great,
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- so.
- No, no, no. But see, it's not,
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because I can admit
that I don't have, like,
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a lot of other things going on.
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Currently living in my mom's home gym...
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- Mm-hmm.
- and my band broke up.
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But the thing is, I still
have a lot to give, a lot.
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So, why not give it to
you and this little angel?
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I don't know, Marnie, this is just...
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You think you have a
lot of friends, right?
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- Yeah.
- Who's here?
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Depends on the day.
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Elijah's not here.
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Jessa sure as hell isn't here.
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Adam isn't here.
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Shoshanna literally despises all of us.
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Who's here?
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I'm here.
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I win.
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I'm your best friend.
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I'm the best at being your friend.
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I love you the most.
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Okay.
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Yeah?
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Yeah, okay.
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Fuck, yeah!
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Sync/Corrections PetaG - MY-SUBS.com
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_
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Are you sure this
isn't too cold for him?
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00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:04,570
- It's okay, Grovey, it's okay.
- No, he's just fine.
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Okay, and you disinfect the
scale between babies, right?
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Okay, 13 pounds. That's a nice size.
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- He's a nice size.
- You're a nice size.
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Okay, but he was closer
to 10 when he was born,
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- so I'm just a little confused.
- Babies will often
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lose 10% of their birth
weight in the first few weeks.
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It's nothing to be concerned about.
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As long as he's feeding normally.
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Oh, no, he's... he's eating.
He's eating all the time.
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- Breast milk or formula?
- It's okay.
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Is there a chance we
could talk to Dr. Monoghan?
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She's on vacation right now, looking
at a waterfall with her family
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and I'm not calling her.
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It's just, like, she knows our
whole story and she's met Grover...
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Would you want to be disturbed
on your family vacation?
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Well, just depends on priorities.
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Like, I write through my whole vacation.
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It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
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He breastfed for six weeks,
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- then he just, like, stopped.
- Are you pumping?
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Oh, my God, yeah, I'm pumping so much.
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I'm like a saucer machine. He just...
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- he will only take it from the bottle.
- Well, so long as he's getting it.
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But isn't there, like, an issue with
bonding? Like, isn't it important?
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- Shh.
- All right, listen.
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Breastfeeding is mysterious.
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Sometimes it's a piece of cake.
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And sometimes, there's something,
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the chemistry, the fit... it's just off.
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Okay.
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Mm.
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Um, well...
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I guess that's it. Um,
if you have any lollipops?
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Hey.
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Hi, how did it go?
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It was fine. It was good.
I mean, they said he's
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- basically the perfect weight, so.
- You are? That's so great!
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That's, like, the greatest
compliment a person can get.
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Hi, baby. What did he
say about breast feeding?
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I mean, I don't trust
that, like, temp doctor.
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Well, yeah, everyone here looks
pretty fucking formula-fed to me.
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Aunt Marnie's here.
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Aunt Marnie's here.
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He just made it sound like some
babies never get the hang of it.
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But you told him you've
been pumping, right?
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Yes, I told him I've
been pumping, and I said
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I don't know how much
longer I can do it.
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I was like, "My nipples hurt.
They feel like iguana skin."
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Well, what am I gonna do when
I start my job next month,
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like, tote a breast pump around?
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What if there's a
student I want to fuck?
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Promise me you're not
gonna give up, okay?
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There's a reason they call
breast milk liquid gold.
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00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:07,981
Well, if you really
felt like that, I think
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00:04:07,987 --> 00:04:09,425
you would agree to taste mine, so.
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Hannah, you have to stop
asking me to do that.
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It's nice, it's like
hemp milk or something.
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Babies that are breastfed
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are less likely to get
sick when they're little.
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And also, they show higher
cognitive function at an earlier age.
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And I just saw a study that says
that they snag higher-paying jobs.
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What about that doesn't sound great?
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Well, I was never breastfed and
I'm a dream and a ray of sunshine,
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- so.
- No. That's exactly my point.
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I was breastfed for two years.
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Great, it seems like it worked out
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- super great for you.
- It did.
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♪ You've got a fast car ♪
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♪ I want a ticket to anywhere ♪
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♪ Maybe we make a deal ♪
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♪ Maybe together we can get somewhere ♪
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♪ Anyplace is better... ♪
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- Marnie, can you maybe stop?
- ♪ Starting at zero ♪
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♪ Got nothing to lose ♪
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♪ Maybe we'll make something ♪
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♪ Me, myself, I got
nothing to prove... ♪
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I'd love it if you'd stop singing,
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and so would Grover. He doesn't like it.
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I feel like you're both
kidding, so I'm gonna keep going.
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♪ You've got a fast car ♪
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♪ I've got a plan ♪
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- ♪ to get us out of here, I've been ♪
- Marnie.
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♪ Working at a convenience ♪
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- ♪ Store, manged to save ♪
- I'm asking you to stop and I'm asking
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- ♪ a little bit of money ♪
- in a nice way.
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♪ Won't have to drive too far ♪
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- ♪ Just cross the border and... ♪
- Turn it off! Okay?
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Turn it off!
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Sorry.
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Hey, little man.
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Listen, I'm really sorry about before.
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I really don't want to talk about it.
134
00:06:03,257 --> 00:06:04,743
Yeah, but we should talk about it.
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You yelled at me for loving music.
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There's honestly nothing to talk about.
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I love that you love music.
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Come on, Grover.
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Come on!
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It's good.
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There's a businessman who'd
pay a lot of money to do this.
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No, look, it's right here.
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You don't have to cry
'cause it's right here.
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No!
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You think you're the first
man who rejected this?
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Well, think again, you're
not being very original.
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You know what, you're
being kind of a fuckhead.
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You're being a kind of a
little bit of an asshole.
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Um... I don't know what to say to you.
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Bless you.
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And that is a swaddle.
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Yeah. Yeah. Really good.
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- Baby. Yeah.
- Uh... No, actually, here.
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You can do it like this.
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Here, okay. Hi, yeah.
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Hi, favorite boy!
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Hello.
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Hi! Oh, my little baby burrito.
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Oh.
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That's another way to do it.
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Yeah.
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Are you making an envelope
with your nipple, Hannah?
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Are you making an
envelope with your nipple?
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Do you even have a nipple?
'Cause I've known you a long time
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and I actually don't think I've seen it.
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How the fuck do you make an
envelope with your nipple?
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Anyway, it's pronounced "enn-velope."
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Just, like, don't be so pretentious.
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00:07:49,516 --> 00:07:53,940
So, apparently, you just fold it
down from the base of the areola,
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00:07:54,143 --> 00:07:57,557
and then rather than pushing
his face onto the breast,
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00:07:57,721 --> 00:08:01,158
just squeeze a little bit of milk
out onto the tip of the nipple,
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00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:05,103
brush his lips across the nipple
so that he decides to take it.
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00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,076
Okay, I need this to stop.
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00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,426
Because, A... it's fucking revolting,
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and B... every time you
say nipple, a fairy dies.
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00:08:11,603 --> 00:08:14,040
Hannah, do not get stressed,
especially when you're holding Grover.
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00:08:14,046 --> 00:08:15,265
He can sense it.
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Cortisol and a million
other super powerful hormones
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just flow through your body.
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00:08:20,121 --> 00:08:22,421
Somehow, you've just
gotta stay centered.
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Clear your head. Stay present.
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This is a sacred time.
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00:08:26,276 --> 00:08:29,809
So, now it's my fault? Like,
my stress is repelling him?
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00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:32,621
Listen, he's hungry, let's just give
him a bottle and then he'll, like,
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00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:35,929
torture animals and keep a room like
in the movie "Room." I don't care.
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00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,480
I think your sense of humor
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00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:41,521
could be a very powerful
tool during this journey.
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00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:45,044
- Don't worry, Hannah.
- Shh.
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He's gonna latch.
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00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:48,529
He did it for a whole month.
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00:08:48,535 --> 00:08:50,412
He just forgot what was good for him.
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00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:53,711
- Didn't you, Grovito?
- You know what?
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00:08:53,717 --> 00:08:55,609
Your, like, desire to be part of this
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00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:57,414
is actually starting
to feel really perverse.
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00:08:57,420 --> 00:09:00,839
I feel, like, very objectified
and I just would like some privacy.
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00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,349
Oh, it says if you need assistance,
197
00:09:03,355 --> 00:09:04,981
you might ask someone to help press
198
00:09:04,987 --> 00:09:07,510
by placing her fingers
or thumbs on top of yours.
199
00:09:07,516 --> 00:09:09,400
- Do you want me to come help?
- No.
200
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:12,627
Nope. Nope, I don't.
201
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,422
Hello, Information?
202
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:22,593
I need to talk to Mr. Boat.
203
00:09:23,295 --> 00:09:27,805
John Stamos has not aged a single day.
204
00:09:27,811 --> 00:09:30,673
It's insane. And, like,
why is this man a bachelor?
205
00:09:31,386 --> 00:09:32,661
Hello?
206
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,218
How rude.
207
00:09:37,417 --> 00:09:38,617
The question is, like,
208
00:09:38,623 --> 00:09:41,731
could the Olsen twins have become
fashion moguls without "Full House,"
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00:09:41,737 --> 00:09:43,610
or like, is it what catapulted them?
210
00:09:45,129 --> 00:09:46,631
So, I've been thinking
211
00:09:46,637 --> 00:09:49,738
and I might wanna go out tomorrow night.
212
00:09:50,028 --> 00:09:51,826
There's a wine bar in Tivoli.
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00:09:51,832 --> 00:09:54,096
I looked it up, and
there's gonna be, like,
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00:09:54,102 --> 00:09:57,983
- a live jazz trio playing.
- A live jazz trio?
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00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,537
- Yeah, live.
- Marnie, that's the most
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00:09:59,543 --> 00:10:02,082
disgusting thing I've ever
heard. The only thing grosser
217
00:10:02,088 --> 00:10:05,095
than a jazz trio would be,
like, a jazz quadrangle.
218
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:07,480
This is empty, by they way.
219
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,451
Well, there's gonna be, like,
a flight of local cheeses,
220
00:10:16,457 --> 00:10:18,899
and... and then there's
gonna be this, like,
221
00:10:18,905 --> 00:10:21,389
awesome Sonoma wine pairing.
222
00:10:21,778 --> 00:10:24,316
And you learn about wine, and...
223
00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:27,152
Yeah, but there'd be, like,
224
00:10:27,371 --> 00:10:29,355
no way I could come with you.
225
00:10:29,851 --> 00:10:31,670
No, yeah, just I would go.
226
00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:36,933
So, I would just, like, stay here
with Grover all night by myself?
227
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:41,885
Never mind. I'll just go another time.
228
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,308
Well, is it like, a weekly thing?
229
00:10:43,314 --> 00:10:44,780
Like, if it happens, like, next week...
230
00:10:44,786 --> 00:10:46,081
I don't know, Hannah.
231
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,182
If you really want
cheese, we can buy cheese
232
00:10:50,188 --> 00:10:52,122
and, like, put on jazz. I just...
233
00:10:52,507 --> 00:10:54,219
we don't have to go to a place.
234
00:10:54,225 --> 00:10:55,864
♪ Now my mascara runnin' ♪
235
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:57,413
♪ Red lipstick smudged ♪
236
00:10:57,419 --> 00:10:59,806
♪ Oh, he so horny,
yeah, he want to fuck ♪
237
00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:02,423
♪ He popped all my buttons
and he ripped my blouse ♪
238
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:05,085
♪ He Monica-Lewinski'd all on my gown ♪
239
00:11:05,091 --> 00:11:07,588
♪ Whoa, there, Daddy, Daddy
didn't bring the towel... ♪
240
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:12,257
He hates me. I don't know what to say.
241
00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:13,670
I don't know what I did to him
242
00:11:13,676 --> 00:11:16,920
besides grow him in my
body for nine months.
243
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,161
But he hates me.
244
00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,909
The guy at the ShopRite is more
interested in my boobs than he is.
245
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:23,285
So, why don't you just
swaddle him, give him a bottle.
246
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,982
There's nothing I can
even do for him anymore.
247
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,872
I don't know what to say. He hates me.
248
00:11:26,878 --> 00:11:28,851
- I can't do anything.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
249
00:11:28,857 --> 00:11:30,562
Come here. Come here.
250
00:11:30,568 --> 00:11:32,180
- Come here.
- I'm sorry.
251
00:11:32,186 --> 00:11:33,693
Shh, shh, shh.
252
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:48,751
Hey, it's almost 11:00 AM.
253
00:11:54,856 --> 00:11:57,054
Are you awake now, Hannah?!
254
00:11:58,029 --> 00:12:00,417
Oh, good morning.
255
00:12:01,834 --> 00:12:05,152
Grover's been awake
for almost three hours.
256
00:12:07,358 --> 00:12:08,563
Ah!
257
00:12:08,569 --> 00:12:11,304
Ooh. Sweetie, you're leaking.
258
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,885
♪ Little man, little man. ♪
259
00:12:14,891 --> 00:12:17,301
- You called my mom?
- Yeah, I did.
260
00:12:17,307 --> 00:12:19,706
You called my mother and
you told her to come here.
261
00:12:19,712 --> 00:12:22,736
Yeah, Hannah. You're having a
really hard time and I just thought
262
00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:24,624
it would be helpful for you to have her.
263
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:26,554
Well, it's not helpful.
Remember last time?
264
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,232
All she did was
complain about how unfair
265
00:12:28,238 --> 00:12:30,261
the judging process on "The Voice" is.
266
00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,999
She's not helpful. She
makes things harder for me.
267
00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:35,571
Okay, well, then, I didn't
call her here for you.
268
00:12:35,577 --> 00:12:38,462
I called her here for
me. I wanted some help.
269
00:12:38,468 --> 00:12:41,048
This is above my pay
grade. I'm doing my best.
270
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:44,566
I'm reading all the books.
But honestly, it's too much.
271
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,548
And you're not even acting that mature!
272
00:12:46,554 --> 00:12:48,319
You begged to come here.
273
00:12:48,325 --> 00:12:50,962
You wanted to be here
with me and help me.
274
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:53,345
And now it's not matching
up to what you imagined,
275
00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:55,756
which was, like, that it would
be a "Laura Ashley" catalogue.
276
00:12:55,762 --> 00:12:57,999
Or, like, a fun, zany sitcom
277
00:12:58,005 --> 00:13:00,907
starring Brittany Snow and the
rest of the cast of "Pitch Perfect,"
278
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,756
just carrying a cute, little baby.
279
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:04,830
Okay, I'm sorry we didn't make any jam.
280
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:07,045
I'm sorry you didn't meet,
like, a hot woodworker.
281
00:13:07,051 --> 00:13:09,808
But this is reality. It's happening now.
282
00:13:09,814 --> 00:13:12,096
And you suck at it, okay?
283
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,088
You're doing a bad job,
284
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,761
and the reason you are is
'cause you're the immature one,
285
00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:18,269
so check that out!
286
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,380
All right, Ghostbuster.
287
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,644
What?
288
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:30,178
I don't know when my
vagina and my butthole
289
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,372
are gonna start to feel like
two separate entities again,
290
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,143
but I'm really looking forward to that.
291
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:37,311
Honey, this will all be over
soon. It'll be like a blip.
292
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,536
Things'll get so much harder,
you won't even remember this part.
293
00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:41,894
God, I hope you're right.
294
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,934
Listen, Hannah, when I had
you, I couldn't breast feed.
295
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:48,116
No matter how hard I tried, I
couldn't get you to latch on.
296
00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:53,059
And my nipples both inverted
and it hurt like fire in my tits.
297
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,320
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
298
00:13:54,326 --> 00:13:57,176
Obviously, your father
was no help at all.
299
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:00,693
He was scared enough of breasts as is.
300
00:14:01,365 --> 00:14:05,062
And all these women in
my campus mothering circle
301
00:14:05,068 --> 00:14:06,766
were so judgmental.
302
00:14:06,772 --> 00:14:08,495
It was the 80s, you know.
303
00:14:08,501 --> 00:14:10,756
All these cunts in linen pants
304
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:13,177
who were so pleased
not to be using formula.
305
00:14:13,183 --> 00:14:15,255
I mean, I was raised on formula.
306
00:14:15,261 --> 00:14:17,178
Nice post-war formula.
307
00:14:17,184 --> 00:14:19,873
What's the fucking problem?
You turned out fine.
308
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:21,887
Yeah, but don't you get it? I
don't want him to turn out fine.
309
00:14:21,893 --> 00:14:24,342
I want him to turn out better
than fine. He's so beautiful.
310
00:14:24,348 --> 00:14:27,184
- He's so much more beautiful than me.
- He really is.
311
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:30,266
But honey, he'll be fine,
whether you use formula or milk,
312
00:14:30,272 --> 00:14:32,272
- or, you know...
- Mom, don't you get it?
313
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:33,842
I'm mentally ill,
314
00:14:33,848 --> 00:14:35,593
I'm overweight,
315
00:14:35,863 --> 00:14:37,499
I isolate people,
316
00:14:37,505 --> 00:14:38,961
I'm a quitter.
317
00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:41,244
So, what if that's the
kind of man that I raise?
318
00:14:41,457 --> 00:14:43,668
What if that's the only
kind of man I can raise?
319
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,227
That's not gonna happen.
320
00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:49,726
And I'm still fucking bleeding.
321
00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:51,438
From my vagina.
322
00:14:51,817 --> 00:14:54,148
No one understands!
323
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,716
You think no one understands you?
324
00:14:56,722 --> 00:14:58,098
Yeah, I do,
325
00:14:58,104 --> 00:15:00,619
because I made a very intense choice
326
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:03,783
to take this on all by myself, okay?
327
00:15:03,789 --> 00:15:07,125
I decided to be brave
and just go it alone...
328
00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:09,679
Mom, I buckle my bra every day, okay?
329
00:15:10,397 --> 00:15:13,214
But just do it for a second.
330
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,385
You know? And now it's
like I can't even do
331
00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:19,081
the most natural human process
on earth of feeding my child?
332
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,887
And Marnie acted like
she was here to help me,
333
00:15:21,893 --> 00:15:23,378
and now all she does... that's fine.
334
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:27,166
And now all she does is judge
me and bully me, you know?
335
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:28,771
But she wouldn't if she
knew what it was like
336
00:15:28,777 --> 00:15:30,502
to be rejected by your own child
337
00:15:30,508 --> 00:15:33,308
like you've been rejected by every
other fucking man in your life.
338
00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:35,966
'Cause let's face it,
Grover fucking hates me.
339
00:15:35,972 --> 00:15:37,768
You really upset Marnie, you know?
340
00:15:37,774 --> 00:15:39,267
She called me weeping.
341
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,736
I got on a plane at 5:00 AM.
342
00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:43,345
- I upset Marnie?
- Yeah.
343
00:15:43,351 --> 00:15:44,925
Well, maybe she should
have thought a little
344
00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,469
before she came out here to help,
345
00:15:46,475 --> 00:15:48,718
considering that things might
get pretty fucking intense.
346
00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:51,028
'Cause you know what, Mom? I tend to get
347
00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:54,167
- pretty fucking intense.
- Yeah, well, maybe she thought
348
00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:56,923
- you'd act like a fucking grown-up.
- What?
349
00:15:56,929 --> 00:15:58,903
You wanna act like this
whole thing was an accident?
350
00:15:58,909 --> 00:16:02,987
Like it happened to you? That's
fine, Hannah. But that's not honest.
351
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:05,511
You made a choice to have
this child, and guess what?
352
00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:07,337
It's the first one you can't take back.
353
00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:09,382
You can't get your tuition refunded.
354
00:16:09,388 --> 00:16:10,749
You can't break the lease.
355
00:16:10,755 --> 00:16:12,647
You can't delete his phone number.
356
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:15,858
Your son is not a temp
job. He's not Adam.
357
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:18,472
This is it, honey, and this is forever.
358
00:16:18,486 --> 00:16:21,370
Stop following me! And
why are you judging me
359
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:23,699
and putting words in my
mouth? Why are you judging me?
360
00:16:23,705 --> 00:16:25,866
Because you just said
your baby hates you,
361
00:16:25,872 --> 00:16:28,656
and that is the most moronic
thing I have ever heard.
362
00:16:28,662 --> 00:16:30,985
He doesn't hate you.
He doesn't hate anybody.
363
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,542
He's a goddamn baby,
and you are all he has.
364
00:16:34,548 --> 00:16:38,213
I don't understand why you're yelling
at me when I'm in emotional pain.
365
00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:40,468
Yeah, well, you know who
else is in emotional pain?
366
00:16:40,474 --> 00:16:42,561
- Who?
- Fucking everyone!
367
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,581
For their whole lives!
368
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,393
Nobody said this was gonna be easy.
369
00:16:46,399 --> 00:16:48,244
Nobody guaranteed this would be fun.
370
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,769
You didn't sign a contract in the womb
371
00:16:50,775 --> 00:16:52,985
saying you were headed for Six Flags.
372
00:16:52,991 --> 00:16:54,483
What are you making?
373
00:16:54,489 --> 00:16:57,403
Bisquick, obviously, 'cause you have
to add, like, 2,000 calories a day
374
00:16:57,409 --> 00:16:59,992
to your diet if you're breast
feeding to do it successfully.
375
00:16:59,998 --> 00:17:01,786
Hannah. The... ah...
376
00:17:02,302 --> 00:17:04,413
- Hah!
- I don't understand, Mom.
377
00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:06,237
You didn't say it was
gonna be this hard.
378
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:08,345
Oh, have I made this look easy to you?
379
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,142
No. Have the last few
years looked easy to you?
380
00:17:12,936 --> 00:17:15,123
Maybe they would have
if you'd chosen a husband
381
00:17:15,129 --> 00:17:17,348
who wasn't gay and
who actually loved you.
382
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:20,519
And then I would know what, like, a
normal, functional family looked like,
383
00:17:20,525 --> 00:17:23,434
and I wouldn't be up here with
Marnie acting like that was normal.
384
00:17:23,565 --> 00:17:24,765
You know?
385
00:17:24,771 --> 00:17:28,722
And this house would be a home and
not just a fucking bunch of rooms.
386
00:17:28,728 --> 00:17:30,142
So, thank you.
387
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:34,077
No, thank you, Hannah.
Thank you so much for that.
388
00:17:34,849 --> 00:17:36,864
- Thanks, baby girl.
- Ow!
389
00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:43,438
Oh, man.
390
00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:55,356
Hey, are you okay?
391
00:17:56,335 --> 00:17:58,036
I'm not a hooker.
392
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:00,617
- No one said you were.
- _
393
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,684
Sorry for trying to help.
394
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:06,992
God fucking damn it. Men are disgusting.
395
00:18:07,455 --> 00:18:10,071
- Am I English? No?
- No, just me.
396
00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:11,394
You're a pilot.
397
00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:13,890
All right, I'm a pilot, yeah.
398
00:18:13,896 --> 00:18:16,366
We're, um... we're just
399
00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:18,784
approaching, um, cruising altitude.
400
00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:20,779
- Yeah.
- So... is, uh...
401
00:18:20,785 --> 00:18:23,822
is everything okay back there, Shelly?
402
00:18:23,828 --> 00:18:25,785
Yes, except...
403
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:28,922
there's been a slight
disturbance in the cabin.
404
00:18:29,806 --> 00:18:31,296
- Yes, I noticed that
- Oh.
405
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:34,719
someone was ringing the,
uh... the assistance button.
406
00:18:34,725 --> 00:18:38,045
Yes, 11-C has a problem with his...
407
00:18:38,262 --> 00:18:39,528
his dick.
408
00:18:40,058 --> 00:18:41,258
Oh.
409
00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:43,342
Should I go help him with his dick?
410
00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:45,649
- He's in 11-C.
- Yes.
411
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:49,843
I think you should probably go back
there and make sure he's all right.
412
00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:53,528
Yes, do you think I should use
the oxygen mask on his dick?
413
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,334
Yeah, I think... I think you should,
414
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:59,912
and I think you should put
it on him first before helping
415
00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:02,013
- others around him out.
- Marnie, I think
416
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:04,213
- we're out of breast milk.
- Yes, I've already told him that.
417
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,730
- Shelly?
- 'Scuse me.
418
00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:09,966
Shelly,
419
00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,974
- this is your captain speaking.
- Oh, fuck.
420
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,569
I'll be right there.
421
00:19:13,575 --> 00:19:14,784
Okay.
422
00:19:20,965 --> 00:19:22,205
Damn it.
423
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,185
Oh, I used the last bag
of breast milk earlier.
424
00:19:27,191 --> 00:19:29,203
So, we'll just have to
wait till Hannah gets back.
425
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,604
Ugh.
426
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,895
I have no idea when she'll be back.
427
00:19:34,191 --> 00:19:35,412
Yeah.
428
00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:38,808
Motherhood seems to have
had such an effect on her.
429
00:19:39,589 --> 00:19:41,816
Yeah, I don't even know
why we have that here.
430
00:19:42,737 --> 00:19:45,828
Sorry I walked in on you beating off.
431
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,831
No, you didn't.
432
00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:52,128
Masturbating. Did I not
catch you touching yourself?
433
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:55,841
No, you did not catch
me touching myself.
434
00:19:55,847 --> 00:19:58,517
Okay, Marnie, sure, but,
435
00:19:58,523 --> 00:20:01,165
you know, I live alone. I ain't judging.
436
00:20:01,171 --> 00:20:04,099
No, no, no, no, no. It's
just, it's not masturbating
437
00:20:04,105 --> 00:20:06,659
if you are video chatting with someone.
438
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,081
Who is he?
439
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:14,581
His name is Delvin, Delvin P.
440
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:17,879
He's from Weehawken, and he's
a very nice personal trainer.
441
00:20:21,109 --> 00:20:22,617
Hey.
442
00:20:23,328 --> 00:20:25,032
Are you happy here?
443
00:20:25,530 --> 00:20:27,203
With Hannah and Grover?
444
00:20:29,212 --> 00:20:30,828
I mean, yeah, sure.
445
00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:34,452
I don't need to be happy.
446
00:20:34,757 --> 00:20:35,974
Why?
447
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,439
It's just not my time.
This is important.
448
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,163
Hannah's my best friend.
449
00:20:41,679 --> 00:20:43,439
Has it ever occurred to you
450
00:20:43,445 --> 00:20:45,757
that the best thing for
you and your friendship
451
00:20:45,763 --> 00:20:47,640
would be if you were happy, too?
452
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,954
Hannah and Grover can't do this
by themselves. They need me.
453
00:20:51,942 --> 00:20:55,432
Listen, I spent 30 years
supporting my best friend.
454
00:20:55,438 --> 00:20:58,223
You know? We even had a child together.
455
00:20:58,934 --> 00:21:01,305
But mostly, we just
got angrier and angrier
456
00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:03,334
until all that was left was hate.
457
00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:05,325
I hate my best friend now.
458
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,036
And all because I didn't
know how to let him go.
459
00:21:16,379 --> 00:21:18,989
You know, these ingredients
aren't even that bad.
460
00:21:32,535 --> 00:21:34,381
You're a fucking monster!
461
00:21:45,244 --> 00:21:46,502
Hey!
462
00:21:47,236 --> 00:21:48,634
Are you okay?
463
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,890
Like, clearly no.
464
00:21:51,525 --> 00:21:55,952
Okay, you can talk to me, it's
okay. I'm safe. I'm a safe person.
465
00:21:56,116 --> 00:21:57,749
Do you have a phone, ma'am?
466
00:21:57,755 --> 00:21:59,062
Ma'am?
467
00:21:59,415 --> 00:22:01,845
No, I'm sorry. I don't have
a cell phone on me right now.
468
00:22:01,851 --> 00:22:04,858
Well, then, what makes
you a... a safe person?
469
00:22:04,864 --> 00:22:07,163
I don't know. Look at me, I just am.
470
00:22:07,169 --> 00:22:08,937
What... what happened?
471
00:22:09,071 --> 00:22:11,851
I ran away as fast as I could.
472
00:22:11,936 --> 00:22:13,954
It was an emergency incident.
473
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:17,857
Okay, you cannot be out here
without any shoes or pants.
474
00:22:17,863 --> 00:22:20,912
- You just can't.
- Well, I don't have any shoes or pants,
475
00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:22,426
so that's what's up.
476
00:22:23,146 --> 00:22:25,930
Here, take these. Take
these, takes these. Come on.
477
00:22:26,014 --> 00:22:27,214
Come on.
478
00:22:28,937 --> 00:22:31,260
Look, put 'em on.
479
00:22:33,633 --> 00:22:35,573
Some jeans.
480
00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:37,663
Here you go.
481
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:39,945
Thank you.
482
00:22:45,012 --> 00:22:46,381
These are kind of big.
483
00:22:46,387 --> 00:22:48,842
Well, yeah, they're... they're
big on me, too, obviously. Just...
484
00:22:48,848 --> 00:22:51,575
What happened? Can you
tell me what happened?
485
00:22:52,035 --> 00:22:55,316
I just need a phone so I can
call my boyfriend, Justin.
486
00:22:56,860 --> 00:23:00,157
Would you like to come to my house
and use the phone and call Justin?
487
00:23:01,235 --> 00:23:03,836
Yeah. That would be good.
488
00:23:04,123 --> 00:23:05,536
Thanks.
489
00:23:05,615 --> 00:23:09,821
'Cause, like, Justin really, really
worries when he can't locate me.
490
00:23:09,827 --> 00:23:11,292
Yeah, I'm sure.
491
00:23:11,899 --> 00:23:13,120
Come on.
492
00:23:15,288 --> 00:23:17,300
Does your mom know where you are?
493
00:23:18,784 --> 00:23:21,102
I'm sorry. This must be really hard.
494
00:23:21,582 --> 00:23:24,701
Can you tell me about the
incident? Do you feel unsafe?
495
00:23:25,387 --> 00:23:26,700
Yeah.
496
00:23:27,059 --> 00:23:29,506
My mom said I had to
finish my history homework
497
00:23:29,512 --> 00:23:31,195
before I went to Justin's.
498
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:33,134
And I was like, "It's
not due till Friday."
499
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:35,712
And she was like, "Well, you're
gonna finish it up right away."
500
00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:38,524
And I was like, "No!" And I ran out.
501
00:23:38,530 --> 00:23:40,100
And then what happened?
502
00:23:40,106 --> 00:23:42,520
And then I was like,
"If it's due on Friday,
503
00:23:42,526 --> 00:23:45,787
I'm not finishing it on
Wednesday, and that's final!"
504
00:23:50,676 --> 00:23:54,657
So, you ran away because your
mom asked you to do your homework?
505
00:23:55,323 --> 00:23:56,606
Yeah.
506
00:23:56,944 --> 00:23:59,350
And Justin's gonna be
at an away game tomorrow
507
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:02,238
so I won't even get... get to see him!
508
00:24:03,841 --> 00:24:06,336
- Okay, give me back my jeans.
- What?
509
00:24:06,342 --> 00:24:08,617
I said, give me back my jeans.
510
00:24:08,623 --> 00:24:10,132
What the hell?
511
00:24:10,138 --> 00:24:12,108
No, you said you were gonna help me.
512
00:24:12,114 --> 00:24:14,070
Yeah, that's when I thought you
were being, like, fiddled with
513
00:24:14,076 --> 00:24:16,603
- by your stepdad or something.
- What?
514
00:24:16,609 --> 00:24:19,526
Do you think your mom wants to
tell you to do your homework?
515
00:24:19,532 --> 00:24:20,867
- I don't know.
- No.
516
00:24:20,873 --> 00:24:23,895
But that's her entire job.
That's her job in the world.
517
00:24:23,901 --> 00:24:26,361
She has a million trillion
things she'd rather be doing.
518
00:24:26,367 --> 00:24:28,182
Things she might want to experience.
519
00:24:28,188 --> 00:24:30,268
Life things she hasn't enjoyed yet.
520
00:24:30,274 --> 00:24:32,229
But she stays and tells
you to do your homework
521
00:24:32,235 --> 00:24:34,775
'cause it's what's fucking good for you.
522
00:24:34,781 --> 00:24:36,877
What do you think your mom's
gonna do when you get home?
523
00:24:36,883 --> 00:24:39,998
I don't know. Hug me, I guess?
524
00:24:40,004 --> 00:24:42,075
Exactly! 'Cause she loves you
525
00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:43,841
more than anything else in the world,
526
00:24:43,847 --> 00:24:45,544
and she knows you're
the most important thing
527
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:48,107
even if it means being
emotionally abused by a brat
528
00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:50,169
day in and day out, okay?
529
00:24:50,175 --> 00:24:51,594
She'll take care of you forever
530
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,019
even if it means endless, endless pain!
531
00:24:55,110 --> 00:24:57,809
So give me back my jeans!
532
00:24:57,815 --> 00:24:59,520
No, you psycho lady!
533
00:24:59,526 --> 00:25:01,682
Oh, you run, you little harlot.
534
00:25:01,688 --> 00:25:04,213
Run as fast as you can, okay?
535
00:25:04,219 --> 00:25:06,916
But life is gonna chase you,
it's gonna chase after you
536
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,705
with problems you can't even imagine.
537
00:25:08,711 --> 00:25:10,242
And I'd be chasing you, too,
538
00:25:10,248 --> 00:25:13,561
if my vagina wasn't so
busted from having a baby.
539
00:25:13,618 --> 00:25:16,402
So go and just fuck
the shit out of Justin!
540
00:25:16,408 --> 00:25:18,219
Fuck him for me!
541
00:25:18,301 --> 00:25:20,684
That's not how I meant that!
542
00:25:37,883 --> 00:25:39,094
You okay, ma'am?
543
00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:40,617
Yeah, absolutely.
544
00:25:40,991 --> 00:25:42,791
Do you live near here?
545
00:25:42,797 --> 00:25:45,011
Yeah. Just, like, a
little while that way.
546
00:25:45,388 --> 00:25:48,985
So, uh, what brings you out here
without, uh, pants and shoes?
547
00:25:48,991 --> 00:25:51,972
Oh, um, I had a baby
pretty recently, so.
548
00:25:52,188 --> 00:25:54,791
Mm. Sounds about right.
549
00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:57,469
Well, why don't you get in
the back of the car and I'll
550
00:25:57,475 --> 00:25:58,831
give you a ride home.
551
00:25:58,837 --> 00:26:00,930
I'm really good, but thank you.
552
00:26:09,689 --> 00:26:11,790
Just making sure you're
getting home okay.
553
00:26:17,478 --> 00:26:18,900
Just take your time.
554
00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:45,403
I guess it's time for me to
start figuring out what's next.
555
00:26:46,510 --> 00:26:48,208
Any ideas?
556
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:52,307
A piece of me has always
wanted to go to law school.
557
00:26:52,852 --> 00:26:54,253
So boring.
558
00:26:54,852 --> 00:26:56,569
No, I mean, it's a start.
559
00:26:56,575 --> 00:26:57,775
It's a start.
560
00:26:58,598 --> 00:27:01,785
It's mostly because I just
love the idea of all the rules.
561
00:27:01,791 --> 00:27:03,450
I fucking love rules.
562
00:27:04,278 --> 00:27:06,057
Maybe you should be a judge.
563
00:27:06,063 --> 00:27:07,282
Hmm.
564
00:27:07,448 --> 00:27:11,090
I have this friend that's
a judge. She is such a gas.
565
00:27:11,584 --> 00:27:14,214
Judge Patricia DeMango.
566
00:27:15,199 --> 00:27:18,143
She goes on five Christian
Mingle dates a week.
567
00:27:18,149 --> 00:27:21,020
- No way.
- Yeah. The spray tan,
568
00:27:21,162 --> 00:27:24,138
big diamond in her upper ear cartilage.
569
00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:27,662
- But she is a really good judge.
- Mm.
570
00:27:29,755 --> 00:27:31,032
You get home safe, now.
571
00:27:31,038 --> 00:27:33,046
Thank you, Officer Schpoont.
572
00:27:37,387 --> 00:27:38,587
Hi.
573
00:27:38,593 --> 00:27:39,863
Hi.
574
00:27:40,301 --> 00:27:42,486
What happened to your pants?
575
00:27:42,605 --> 00:27:44,756
You know, kind of what you'd think.
576
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,648
Thanks.
577
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,002
Where's Grover?
578
00:27:56,497 --> 00:27:58,914
He's upstairs asleep in your room.
579
00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:03,104
We gave him formula,
580
00:28:03,996 --> 00:28:05,396
and he liked it.
581
00:28:08,135 --> 00:28:09,575
Good. Thanks.
582
00:28:15,049 --> 00:28:16,964
No, no. Guys, I got it.
583
00:28:17,152 --> 00:28:18,451
I got it.
584
00:29:08,085 --> 00:29:10,397
Shh.
585
00:29:10,403 --> 00:29:12,375
Shh.
586
00:29:12,489 --> 00:29:14,219
Shh.
587
00:29:31,518 --> 00:29:32,751
Good.
588
00:29:34,495 --> 00:29:36,304
That's good, Grover.
589
00:29:48,843 --> 00:29:51,436
♪ You had a fast car ♪
590
00:29:51,641 --> 00:29:54,446
♪ I got a ticket to
get us out of here... ♪
591
00:29:59,926 --> 00:30:01,197
Okay.
592
00:30:07,169 --> 00:30:09,686
I love you. I love you
593
00:30:15,046 --> 00:30:16,397
♪ ...A little bit of money ♪
594
00:30:16,403 --> 00:30:18,943
♪ Don't have to go too far... ♪
595
00:30:24,478 --> 00:30:25,792
Okay.
596
00:30:32,801 --> 00:30:34,089
It's okay.
597
00:30:43,831 --> 00:30:47,079
♪ Finally found like
I could be someone ♪
598
00:30:47,085 --> 00:30:48,820
♪ Be someone. ♪
599
00:30:52,189 --> 00:30:57,189
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45652
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