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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:17,432 --> 00:00:18,738 It's gonna rain. 2 00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:20,296 Oh, it's totally not gonna rain. 3 00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:23,197 It's, like, never been about to rain less in the history of the universe. 4 00:00:23,895 --> 00:00:28,060 Now, that looks great and it's ready for some bridesmaid-y action. 5 00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,925 By the way, living in Japan has made me so effing good 6 00:00:30,936 --> 00:00:32,689 at folding, steaming, pressing, et cetera. 7 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,053 My friend Satako says that I'm, like, a complete natural 8 00:00:35,064 --> 00:00:36,508 and could totally compete with the best of them. 9 00:00:36,519 --> 00:00:39,053 They have this reality TV show there called "Fold Fold Press..." 10 00:00:39,069 --> 00:00:41,331 ...which is kind of about being human. 11 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,049 It seems like it's gonna rain, right? 12 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:45,915 God damn it, what is my mom doing out there? 13 00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:48,464 You don't understand something here. I just want to show you. 14 00:00:48,475 --> 00:00:52,816 It's gotta be candle, flower, candle, flower, candle, flower. 15 00:00:52,827 --> 00:00:55,186 Sorry I slept so late. Is there anything I can do to help? 16 00:00:55,197 --> 00:00:57,411 Um, yeah, just keep the vibe, like, super calm in here. 17 00:00:57,422 --> 00:00:59,366 That'd be great. And then when the hair and makeup artist arrives, 18 00:00:59,377 --> 00:01:01,055 you can start maneuvering the appointments. 19 00:01:01,066 --> 00:01:02,664 Got it, on it. 20 00:01:02,934 --> 00:01:05,433 What do you mean by "maneuvering the appointments"? 21 00:01:05,451 --> 00:01:07,907 Well, she can't do all of us at once, right? She's not an octopus, 22 00:01:07,918 --> 00:01:11,419 so I figure we need an order and you can create the order. 23 00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:14,504 Cool. I'll... I'm gonna... gonna do it. 24 00:01:14,515 --> 00:01:16,270 Thank you so much. I figure each bridesmaid 25 00:01:16,281 --> 00:01:18,450 should take no longer than, like, 35 minutes, 26 00:01:18,461 --> 00:01:20,827 and that leaves me three and a half hours, which is perfect. 27 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,869 Great. 28 00:01:23,531 --> 00:01:25,084 - Hi. - Hey. 29 00:01:25,095 --> 00:01:28,748 Oh, wow. You look so whimsical/beautiful. 30 00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:33,443 Thank you, I just bathed in the stream and then I ran through the field to dry myself. 31 00:01:34,157 --> 00:01:36,187 Marnie, what's wrong? 32 00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:39,090 I'm worried it's gonna rain. I had the option for a tent, 33 00:01:39,101 --> 00:01:40,409 but of course I didn't take it. 34 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:42,451 Okay, so you made a mistake. 35 00:01:42,462 --> 00:01:44,389 We all make mistakes. It's okay. 36 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,052 Yeah, everybody hates tents anyways. 37 00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:48,610 Like, what, is this a circus? I don't want no big top. 38 00:01:48,621 --> 00:01:50,618 But you know that rain on your wedding day means 39 00:01:50,629 --> 00:01:52,649 wonderful things for your fertility. 40 00:01:52,933 --> 00:01:55,485 So I hope that it does rain. 41 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,506 I'm gonna go set out your dress. 42 00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:00,592 If anyone needs anything, I'll be upstairs in the boudoir. 43 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,054 I love tents. 44 00:02:14,589 --> 00:02:16,317 This is the day. 45 00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,307 This is my wedding day. 46 00:02:25,598 --> 00:02:26,808 - Hi! - Hey. 47 00:02:26,819 --> 00:02:28,260 - How's it going? - Good, how you doing? 48 00:02:28,271 --> 00:02:31,182 - Mm, good. Good to see you. - You, too. 49 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,393 Hey, gals. 50 00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:36,073 Ooh, Fran, you look so handsome. That is beautiful suiting. 51 00:02:36,084 --> 00:02:37,351 Well done, sir. 52 00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:39,641 - Hey, Fran. - Marnie, hey. 53 00:02:39,652 --> 00:02:42,539 Um, I just wanted to say how grateful I am to be invited. 54 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,955 Oh, well, everyone who asked for a plus one got one. 55 00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:46,716 Shosh didn't ask for one, though. 56 00:02:46,727 --> 00:02:49,627 Oh, yeah, I just... I take my bridesmaids duties, like, super seriously. 57 00:02:49,638 --> 00:02:51,252 Also, I'm in a long-distance relationship, so, like, 58 00:02:51,263 --> 00:02:53,423 why rock the boat by seeing each other, you know what I mean? 59 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,608 Well, Fran was just sitting in his car, so I said he could come hang with us. 60 00:02:56,619 --> 00:02:58,873 Um, but I can go if this is not a good time. 61 00:02:58,884 --> 00:03:00,674 Well, you are here, like, super early. So... 62 00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:02,852 No, it's a great time. We're doing literally nothing. 63 00:03:02,863 --> 00:03:04,063 Sweet. 64 00:03:04,581 --> 00:03:07,330 - How was your drive? - Yeah, super easy. 65 00:03:07,341 --> 00:03:08,960 It's so pretty on the way up here. 66 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,124 - Shosh! - Yeah? 67 00:03:10,135 --> 00:03:10,915 Saw so many baby lambs running 68 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:11,647 - in the field. - Come here! 69 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,792 Was there a mom or was it just like 70 00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:15,291 - a flock of little lambs? - No, orphans. 71 00:03:15,731 --> 00:03:17,850 This is so inappropriate. 72 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,311 My attire? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were, like, doing a PJ thing all day. 73 00:03:21,322 --> 00:03:23,278 - I mean, I have another outfit... - No, no, no, no, no. 74 00:03:23,289 --> 00:03:24,509 Shh. Fran. 75 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,700 - Oh, my baby got out! - No. 76 00:03:26,711 --> 00:03:30,964 He has an actual penis. He's a man and he's here. 77 00:03:31,162 --> 00:03:34,000 You have to go tell him to leave, and then you have to tell Hannah 78 00:03:34,011 --> 00:03:37,562 that she's been so inappropriate and unsupportive for me all day. 79 00:03:37,573 --> 00:03:39,005 Wouldn't you rather do that? 80 00:03:39,016 --> 00:03:41,653 That kind of just seems like something that you would really enjoy doing. 81 00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:43,445 - Shosh. - Okay, on it. 82 00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,714 - ...had breakfast yet. - What do you mean, 83 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,576 - you didn't order it or it didn't show up? - I mean it was fine... 84 00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:48,827 No, no one just mentioned breakfast. 85 00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:50,087 Fran... 86 00:03:50,299 --> 00:03:54,749 um, so, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, 87 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,536 just 'cause it's women's hour. 88 00:03:58,497 --> 00:03:59,697 Shosh. 89 00:03:59,987 --> 00:04:01,187 No. 90 00:04:01,745 --> 00:04:03,048 Shosh. 91 00:04:03,748 --> 00:04:05,583 Don't go, stay. It's fine. 92 00:04:05,594 --> 00:04:07,099 I mean, if you want him to go. 93 00:04:07,969 --> 00:04:12,844 But, as the bride, I just want you to know that I'm fine and cool if you stay. 94 00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:14,943 Totally fine if Shosh wants you to leave. 95 00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:17,243 Up to you. 96 00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:22,110 Sync & corrections by PetaG www.MY-SUBS.com 97 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,095 - Ugh, weddings. - Hannah. 98 00:04:24,106 --> 00:04:25,975 I'm sorry, it's just they're stupid. 99 00:04:25,986 --> 00:04:28,604 They're so stupid and you know what? Ultimately, they're selfish. 100 00:04:28,615 --> 00:04:30,169 Not all weddings. 101 00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,704 I mean, yeah, if you put too much weight on the dumb details, 102 00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:33,952 - sure, but this is the... - Marnie, like, 103 00:04:33,963 --> 00:04:38,220 passive-aggressively handed me a razor. I was like, "I already shaved my armpits." 104 00:04:38,231 --> 00:04:40,848 To be fair, you're not great at it. 105 00:04:41,012 --> 00:04:43,561 - It's, like, pretty patchy under there. - It's hard. 106 00:04:43,572 --> 00:04:45,865 - Consistently patchy. - No. 107 00:04:46,157 --> 00:04:48,921 Look, just try and be positive, okay? 108 00:04:48,932 --> 00:04:50,726 And it's all gonna be over soon. 109 00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,716 Yeah, but then she's gonna be married. 110 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:56,376 - To someone she barely knows. - She barely knows him? 111 00:04:56,387 --> 00:04:59,120 No, I barely know him. You're not even listening to what I'm saying. 112 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,802 - Hey. - Hey. 113 00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:03,913 - Hey. - Hey. 114 00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:05,637 - Hey. - What are they... 115 00:05:06,195 --> 00:05:08,399 Oh, ah, yeah, they're actually not here right now. 116 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:10,953 - Yeah, they're transcending. - Got it. 117 00:05:10,964 --> 00:05:13,754 Should be back any minute, though. Just wait around. 118 00:05:14,074 --> 00:05:17,425 Marnie kicked Fran out of the house for female reasons, 119 00:05:17,436 --> 00:05:19,311 so, um, can you take care of him? 120 00:05:19,322 --> 00:05:21,322 - Yeah, sure. Have a seat. - Awesome. 121 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:25,077 Yeah, settle in, son, and just let the nightmare wash over you. 122 00:05:25,088 --> 00:05:26,630 - Yeah. - It's nice in here. It's very, like, 123 00:05:26,641 --> 00:05:29,462 Skull and Bones, secret gentlemen's society. 124 00:05:31,095 --> 00:05:33,870 - Hi. - Hi, hi. Oh, hello. 125 00:05:34,454 --> 00:05:37,174 - Suit looks great. Very... - ...serious. 126 00:05:37,185 --> 00:05:38,465 - I have to, um... - Thank you. 127 00:05:38,476 --> 00:05:41,495 ...get back to the house or everyone's boobs are going to explode. 128 00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:42,706 Okay. 129 00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:54,942 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 130 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:58,361 I'm, uh, just... 131 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,372 Oh, how... how... how... um... 132 00:06:01,383 --> 00:06:03,961 Uh, you know, nothing... nothing doing, but... 133 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,311 Oh, good, good, good. 134 00:06:07,014 --> 00:06:08,797 Look, uh, if you need me to, uh... 135 00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:12,496 - I can... I can just... - No, no, no, no. No. 136 00:06:12,846 --> 00:06:14,813 I didn't just... I'm not... I didn't just... 137 00:06:14,824 --> 00:06:16,246 No, I figured with the, with the... 138 00:06:16,257 --> 00:06:17,929 - uh... - Yeah, but it's... 139 00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:19,549 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 140 00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:21,954 Why don't you guys try a few complete sentences? 141 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,720 This conversation sounds like a fucking E.E. Cummings poem. 142 00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:27,725 Wow, I feel good, man. I feel incredible. 143 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:29,392 - All right. - Thank you. 144 00:06:29,477 --> 00:06:32,938 Yeah, I thought meditation was just naps, but it's like a whole thing. 145 00:06:33,141 --> 00:06:36,521 Well, you know, it is. It's like naps where you wake up. 146 00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:39,101 And I'm so happy to be able to share that with both of you. 147 00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:40,876 And you, you, oh! 148 00:06:40,887 --> 00:06:43,263 - I'm so proud of you, man. - Oh, thank you, baby. 149 00:06:43,274 --> 00:06:45,706 Yes, you guys, listen. You guys, all of you. 150 00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:48,073 One, two, three, four, five, 151 00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:51,414 thank you for being here. It means so much to me. 152 00:06:51,425 --> 00:06:53,407 - Wolfie, my old, dear friend. - Mm-hmm. 153 00:06:53,418 --> 00:06:56,002 My bald eagle, looking out for me from on high. 154 00:06:56,552 --> 00:07:01,583 Adam, man, my comrade in arts, my comrade-in-arms. 155 00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:03,688 - Mr. Rabbit. - Yeah, yeah. 156 00:07:03,993 --> 00:07:06,177 Elijah, the lion. 157 00:07:06,188 --> 00:07:11,968 A comic persona as skilled and radical as Lucille Ball. 158 00:07:12,546 --> 00:07:13,746 I mean that. 159 00:07:15,342 --> 00:07:18,792 Ray, when Marnie told me that you should be here, 160 00:07:18,803 --> 00:07:22,180 I thought it was a mistake, and, you know, maybe it still will be a mistake, 161 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:26,042 but right now I feel like I'm happy that you're here. 162 00:07:26,451 --> 00:07:28,325 Thank you for being here. 163 00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:30,391 Thanks. 164 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,830 - It's Fran. - Fran. 165 00:07:41,789 --> 00:07:43,887 - Hey, man. - I'm Hannah's boyfriend. 166 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,689 - We met at Marnie's birthday. - No, I know. 167 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,669 We went on a bike ride together, just you and me. 168 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,675 - You don't... - Yeah, Fran. 169 00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,808 - I love that name. - Yeah. 170 00:07:52,894 --> 00:07:54,163 I love you, Fran. 171 00:07:55,071 --> 00:07:56,552 I love you, too, man. 172 00:07:56,848 --> 00:07:59,667 This is among one of the greatest days of my life, you guys. 173 00:08:00,176 --> 00:08:01,383 I'm getting married today. 174 00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:04,278 - Yes. - Yep. 175 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,283 Does anybody want a beer? 176 00:08:06,294 --> 00:08:07,994 I have got this really good brew 177 00:08:08,005 --> 00:08:10,192 - that you can only get upstate. - No, thank you, Fran. 178 00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:14,277 Yeah, I'm gonna take MDMA just before the vows, so I shouldn't mix. 179 00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:18,471 - Well, Fran, I'd fucking love one. - Comin' in hot. 180 00:08:18,482 --> 00:08:20,819 So, I've been living in Japan for, like, seven months now, 181 00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:22,856 and it has seeped into my soul. 182 00:08:22,866 --> 00:08:25,365 Like, I swear, influenced me professionally, 183 00:08:25,376 --> 00:08:27,351 spiritually, the way I bathe, 184 00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:29,265 my choice of pens, everything. 185 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,611 But how do you understand, like, 186 00:08:30,622 --> 00:08:32,488 what the fuck they're saying? I don't get it. 187 00:08:32,499 --> 00:08:34,908 Oh, no, they speak better English than, like, any of us. 188 00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:36,835 - Do they, really? No kidding. - Mm-hmm. 189 00:08:36,846 --> 00:08:39,308 - So, Bay-Bay... - Yeah? No, Bebe, thank you. 190 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,547 Oh, I'm sorry, Bebe. 191 00:08:40,558 --> 00:08:41,866 I'm so happy you're here. 192 00:08:41,877 --> 00:08:43,508 Thank you for joining us. 193 00:08:43,519 --> 00:08:44,944 Aw, thanks. I'm happy to be here. 194 00:08:44,955 --> 00:08:47,121 - This is really fun. - Oh, good, good, good. 195 00:08:47,132 --> 00:08:50,308 I saw on your website you did Sophia Bush's makeup for her sister's wedding. 196 00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:52,673 I sure did. You know what? That was such a treat. 197 00:08:52,684 --> 00:08:54,283 She is like a little angel. 198 00:08:54,294 --> 00:08:57,645 She let me bring my 30-year-old daughter along and we had a ball. 199 00:08:57,656 --> 00:08:59,879 I gotta tell you what, those Bushes know how to party. 200 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,408 You have a 30-year-old daughter? 201 00:09:01,419 --> 00:09:03,479 - When did you have her? - Oh, God, I don't know. 202 00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:05,549 Okay, well, let's just talk about the aesthetic of the wedding. 203 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,774 - Okay. - We're thinking Laurel Canyon classic. 204 00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:09,454 So, does that mean anything to you? 205 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,382 Like, a Selena Gomez kind of thing? 206 00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:13,691 Nope, let me try that one more time. Ah... 207 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,760 Let's do like a Ralph Lauren and Joni Mitchell. 208 00:09:16,771 --> 00:09:19,685 Ah, artistic, but also with a nod to my cultural heritage, 209 00:09:19,696 --> 00:09:21,513 which is white Christian woman. 210 00:09:21,524 --> 00:09:23,888 My fiancé and I, both musicians. 211 00:09:23,935 --> 00:09:27,863 Okay, so Jesus. Selena Gomez meets Jesus. I can do it. 212 00:09:27,874 --> 00:09:33,500 Yeah, so, right now, ah, Shosh's hair feels a little bit Japanese-y to me. 213 00:09:33,511 --> 00:09:35,494 Just getting started. Don't worry, honey, it's gonna be great. 214 00:09:35,505 --> 00:09:37,053 - Okay, great. - Just go have yourself a glass of wine. 215 00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:38,855 - Do whatever you wanna do. - Relax. 216 00:09:38,866 --> 00:09:41,033 - I'm totally easy, easygoing girl. - Okay. 217 00:09:41,044 --> 00:09:42,609 - You know me, right? And, um... - Okay. 218 00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:44,486 just make sure you run everything by me before it's final. 219 00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:48,142 I just wanna make sure I sign off on it before it's set in its spray, okay? 220 00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:50,017 Thank you so much for being here, good-bye! 221 00:09:50,028 --> 00:09:51,779 Oh, my God, it is so much fun. 222 00:09:58,288 --> 00:10:00,621 Oh, fuck you. 223 00:10:00,632 --> 00:10:02,054 It's horrendous. 224 00:10:02,065 --> 00:10:03,436 It's nice. 225 00:10:03,447 --> 00:10:05,357 I think when it comes down, I'm gonna... 226 00:10:05,368 --> 00:10:08,004 - Oh, oh, oh, it's not done? - ...brush it. 227 00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:11,469 You look good. 228 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,434 Thank you. I found this. 229 00:10:15,203 --> 00:10:16,702 Thanks, oh. 230 00:10:19,741 --> 00:10:23,279 Honestly, I feel really bad for Marnie. 231 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,970 - Why? - Her mother's a fucking lunatic. 232 00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:29,846 Hannah is just being Hannah. 233 00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:34,473 Shoshanna, since she got back from Japan is somehow even more like a cartoon. 234 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:39,565 I'm just trying to be a source of support. 235 00:10:40,317 --> 00:10:42,260 - Thanks. - That's good. 236 00:10:42,271 --> 00:10:44,046 - Yeah. - That's good, be of service. 237 00:10:44,057 --> 00:10:46,432 Mm-hmm. And how is it over there? 238 00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:50,467 You guys just, like, doing circle jerks and pounding beers? 239 00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:51,928 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 240 00:10:51,939 --> 00:10:53,974 And what about Fran? Is it weird? 241 00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:57,313 Who's Fran? 242 00:10:57,946 --> 00:10:59,731 What do you mean, who's Fran? Fran. 243 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:03,092 Oh, yeah, he's... he's nice. 244 00:11:03,719 --> 00:11:05,124 What... what do you mean he's nice? 245 00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:07,652 He's nice. He's polite. He's funny or whatever. 246 00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:10,751 You don't wanna take him out back and show him what you're made of? 247 00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:12,362 - No. - Buy him a ticket to the gun show? 248 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,270 Yes. No. 249 00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:16,846 You're a liar. 250 00:11:17,199 --> 00:11:20,766 No, no, no. I'm... I'm, ah, I'm evolved. 251 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,940 - That's good. - I don't care. 252 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,207 - I'm happy for her. - Cool. 253 00:11:25,556 --> 00:11:28,147 Great. I don't care either. 254 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,594 Well... 255 00:11:39,987 --> 00:11:43,205 I... I can't. 256 00:11:58,379 --> 00:11:59,889 Okay, see ya. 257 00:12:08,873 --> 00:12:10,352 Shit. 258 00:12:15,439 --> 00:12:17,320 So, Fran... 259 00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,407 - Fran. - Hmm. 260 00:12:20,546 --> 00:12:22,278 You seem like a nice guy, 261 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:27,616 but I have to ask... what are your, um, intentions with Hannah? 262 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:31,807 Uh, well, right now, I guess we're just trying to figure out... 263 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:35,825 Well, here's the thing to know, Fran, is that while she's painfully narcissistic, 264 00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:38,512 shockingly tone-deaf, and just generally one of the most, 265 00:12:38,523 --> 00:12:42,319 you know, insufferable people you'll ever meet, she means something to me. 266 00:12:42,531 --> 00:12:44,350 She's like a younger sister to me, Fran. 267 00:12:44,468 --> 00:12:48,946 So, what I want to know, from you, is are you serious about this? 268 00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:52,936 Or are you just in it for a quick, you know, push-push-in-the-bush? 269 00:12:52,947 --> 00:12:54,147 What? 270 00:12:54,158 --> 00:12:55,889 Are you trying to get to know this woman? 271 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,041 Are you trying to really connect to this other individual in this world? 272 00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:01,044 Or are you just experimenting with 273 00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:04,202 more and more complex sexual positions until her knees blow out 274 00:13:04,213 --> 00:13:06,132 - and her pussy turns to rubber? - Oh, my God. 275 00:13:06,143 --> 00:13:08,456 I mean, do you ask her how she feels about things? 276 00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:10,345 What she's thinking about? 277 00:13:10,461 --> 00:13:15,262 What are her opinions about, you know, transgender politics, the afterlife? 278 00:13:15,499 --> 00:13:18,191 Because young men today, they don't ask those type of questions. 279 00:13:18,202 --> 00:13:21,738 All they ask is what they can get from a given situation. 280 00:13:21,749 --> 00:13:24,348 They demand faithfulness 281 00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:29,810 and then they suck the spirit out of women who are so fucking spirited. 282 00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:40,381 Ray? 283 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,752 The love of my life is getting married today. 284 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:51,497 Today, the love of my life is getting married, 285 00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:55,423 and I don't have the guts to pull a "Graduate." 286 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,595 I don't have it in me. 287 00:14:00,211 --> 00:14:01,449 Because I know 288 00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:03,968 I'm not the person that she wants. 289 00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:07,829 I can't do it. I can't do it! I can't fucking do it! 290 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,018 - Desi, come on. - I'm too fucking scared. 291 00:14:10,346 --> 00:14:11,647 I'm not fucking ready. 292 00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:15,086 - Take this rage and turn it into bravery. - Don't try and follow me. 293 00:14:15,418 --> 00:14:17,860 Hey, hey, you've bailed seven times. Don't make it eight! 294 00:14:17,871 --> 00:14:19,404 Desi! 295 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,214 What was that? 296 00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:25,235 Just a little bit of cold feet. 297 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:29,089 You know, he's always quick on the, ah, engagement trigger, 298 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,448 but I thought that eight was the magic number. 299 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,213 And I thought that he was actually into Marnie 300 00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:35,985 since they were going through with this. 301 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,428 But now is now. 302 00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:41,984 All right, I'll... I'll be back. 303 00:14:44,282 --> 00:14:46,480 Hey, be gentle on him, brother. 304 00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:49,112 He's got a really complicated thing with his mom. 305 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,311 Okay, here we go. 306 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:54,462 Ow. 307 00:14:55,396 --> 00:14:58,580 Okay, I'm sorry, but that flower crown is corny as hell. 308 00:14:58,591 --> 00:15:00,420 Mom, no one asked you. 309 00:15:00,431 --> 00:15:03,132 You have a beautiful forehead. Please do not cover it. 310 00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:06,429 And why do you want to look like the Statue of Liberty in all your wedding 311 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,046 - pictures? - No, Mom, it's super modern. 312 00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:10,231 Bill de Blasio's daughter wears one all the time. 313 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,344 Ah, Bebe, that pin literally went through my skull. 314 00:15:13,355 --> 00:15:14,618 - Sorry. - That's okay. 315 00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:17,193 - Marnie keep it classic, please. - Yes, Mom. Okay, okay. 316 00:15:17,204 --> 00:15:18,594 I wore shoulder pads to my wedding 317 00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:21,582 and I regret it every time I look at those photos. 318 00:15:21,593 --> 00:15:24,298 More than you regret marrying the sex addict who's also in those photos? 319 00:15:24,309 --> 00:15:27,223 Uh, yeah, 'cause that was fun for a while. 320 00:15:27,234 --> 00:15:29,547 Well, you know, I was on the Vans Warped Tour this summer 321 00:15:29,558 --> 00:15:31,523 and I saw Vanessa Hudgens in the pit 322 00:15:31,534 --> 00:15:33,970 and she had one of these crowns on and you look just like her. 323 00:15:33,981 --> 00:15:35,358 Well, that's just great and weird. 324 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,782 Just when we ask for second opinions, we'll come to you right away, okay? 325 00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,001 - We're good. - Okay. 326 00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:42,390 And this is my daughter and this is my day. 327 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:45,875 Okay, I'm gonna start on someone else while you two work this thing out, all right? 328 00:15:45,886 --> 00:15:46,745 - Okay. - Good idea. 329 00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:48,643 - Okay, good. - Okay, yeah, that's good. 330 00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:51,117 - She's crazy. - I'm gonna kill you. 331 00:15:51,128 --> 00:15:52,695 - Hey, sugar. - Hi. 332 00:15:52,706 --> 00:15:54,418 All right, what are you thinking for your look? 333 00:15:54,429 --> 00:15:58,418 Um, I don't know, just maybe wet a comb and just neaten my hair up. 334 00:15:58,429 --> 00:16:00,936 I don't know. My hair's pretty short, so you can't really do anything with it. 335 00:16:00,947 --> 00:16:02,894 But we have, like, all the hair accessories. 336 00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:04,824 I'd rather just feel like myself. 337 00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:07,232 Okay, well, it's not really about you, but whatever. 338 00:16:07,243 --> 00:16:09,044 Yeah, I mean, it's not like you don't have options. 339 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,233 I pulled together a bunch of the different looks from the mood board. 340 00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:13,920 They're all in the iPad. You can flip through them one more time. 341 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,741 There's floral crowns, obviously. 342 00:16:15,752 --> 00:16:17,406 There's braid headband. 343 00:16:17,417 --> 00:16:20,736 Um, we have extensions. We can give you a weave. 344 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,054 You forage for stuff outside and put it in your fucking hair. 345 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,812 I don't care. You just have to wear something. 346 00:16:24,823 --> 00:16:26,346 You know, I'd rather not. 347 00:16:26,357 --> 00:16:27,730 Oh, well, we'd rather you did. 348 00:16:27,872 --> 00:16:30,219 Mom, let me handle this. Hannah, you have to! 349 00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:33,727 This is part of a very specific vision that I had for this wedding. 350 00:16:33,738 --> 00:16:36,478 A vision from an Edward Sharpe video and it is mine. 351 00:16:36,489 --> 00:16:38,849 Ow! Ow, ow. I'm sorry, you just burned me. 352 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:41,035 - All right, sit still. - No! No. 353 00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:43,834 - Jesus. - I can't do this! 354 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:46,783 Marnie, why do you even bother with that girl? 355 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,470 Honestly, you look like a Starbucks cup. 356 00:16:50,481 --> 00:16:51,681 Out. 357 00:17:07,371 --> 00:17:10,727 It's so awful in there, Fran. It's like I can't even describe it. 358 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,000 It's like a Rom-com that even I wouldn't want to watch. 359 00:17:13,011 --> 00:17:15,981 Can you please pull on my sleeve... whatever the fuck this is? 360 00:17:15,992 --> 00:17:17,245 What are you doing here? 361 00:17:17,256 --> 00:17:19,760 - It's like a noose. - It's like a really bad Rom-com 362 00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:22,593 that's, like, too obvious and not funny. 363 00:17:22,604 --> 00:17:25,506 I hate this dress. The straps are longer than the dress. 364 00:17:25,517 --> 00:17:27,806 - Yeah. - I mean, I guess you're right. 365 00:17:27,817 --> 00:17:30,274 At least soon she'll be all married and happy and... 366 00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:33,836 Oh, Hannah, I just... I just learned something kind of intense in there. 367 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,609 Oh, yeah, Ray was circumcised when he was 20, 368 00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:36,820 - so his dick does this thing where it, - No, no, 369 00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:39,772 - like, bleeds... - I know. No, I know about that. 370 00:17:40,066 --> 00:17:41,963 No, um, it's Desi. 371 00:17:41,974 --> 00:17:44,631 This is his eighth engagement. 372 00:17:45,554 --> 00:17:46,758 What? 373 00:17:46,770 --> 00:17:48,103 Yeah. 374 00:17:48,239 --> 00:17:51,014 I mean, you know, never a wedding, but... 375 00:17:51,258 --> 00:17:53,372 ...he's freakin' out. 376 00:17:53,383 --> 00:17:56,091 - And that ring, the ring for Marnie? - Yeah? 377 00:17:56,102 --> 00:17:57,500 That was for his ex-girlfriend. 378 00:17:57,878 --> 00:17:59,692 - Clementine? - Yeah. 379 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,370 I knew she had a fruit name. 380 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,453 Oh, my God, I have to go tell Marnie right now. 381 00:18:03,464 --> 00:18:06,243 No, Hannah, you can't. No, no, no, I just told you in confidence. 382 00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:07,596 I trusted you. 383 00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:10,190 I have to tell her. There's no way she knows. 384 00:18:10,201 --> 00:18:12,424 - She must know. She... she... - There's no way she knows. 385 00:18:12,435 --> 00:18:14,804 she must've picked up on something, anything. 386 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:17,741 You'd be surprised how much she can miss. 387 00:18:22,016 --> 00:18:23,351 Oh, fuck. 388 00:18:28,414 --> 00:18:31,188 Now I don't have to tell her anything 'cause she's gonna kill herself. 389 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,271 Hannah. 390 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,118 Desi! 391 00:18:48,832 --> 00:18:50,090 Desi! 392 00:18:52,179 --> 00:18:53,934 What the fuck are you doing? 393 00:18:54,546 --> 00:18:58,199 You're right! I don't deserve her! 394 00:18:58,210 --> 00:19:00,087 Get out of the pond! 395 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,779 I'm garbage! 396 00:19:02,396 --> 00:19:05,016 I'm a garbage person! 397 00:19:05,138 --> 00:19:08,758 Okay, let's wrap up the one-man show and get you up to dry land, okay? 398 00:19:08,911 --> 00:19:11,200 Oh, what do you care? You still love her. 399 00:19:11,622 --> 00:19:15,437 Yeah, but I still don't want you to die of a rare pond disease. 400 00:19:18,262 --> 00:19:19,876 Oh, what am I doing? 401 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:21,304 Fuck! 402 00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:24,438 What am I doing, Ray? I don't know how to be a husband. 403 00:19:24,449 --> 00:19:25,649 No. 404 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,448 No, you don't. 405 00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:31,097 But you know what being a husband is about, Desi? 406 00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:33,346 It's about love. 407 00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:37,266 And love is about sacrifice and destiny 408 00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:44,169 and making a sacrifice for the one you love that allows them to find their destiny. 409 00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:45,613 You know? 410 00:19:46,437 --> 00:19:47,672 Yes. 411 00:19:47,971 --> 00:19:50,086 - Yeah. - Destiny. 412 00:19:50,686 --> 00:19:51,902 - Yes. - Yeah. 413 00:19:51,913 --> 00:19:53,113 - Destiny. - Yeah. 414 00:19:53,124 --> 00:19:56,907 You sacrificed Marnie so she could find her destiny! 415 00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,392 And I am that destiny! 416 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:03,272 And I'm not gonna let a couple of fucking little botched marriage attempts 417 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:06,505 on my part get in the way of her happiness! 418 00:20:06,852 --> 00:20:08,334 Well, that's not exactly what I'm saying. 419 00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:09,891 - What I'm saying... - Thank you, Ray. 420 00:20:10,314 --> 00:20:12,294 - Thank you. - Okay. 421 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:14,600 But what I'm saying is you should allow her... 422 00:20:14,611 --> 00:20:16,555 Let's ditch this pisshole! 423 00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:19,152 I got a fuckin' woman to marry! 424 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:21,886 Okay, but... Desi? 425 00:20:23,572 --> 00:20:25,590 Hold.. h-hold on one second, though. 426 00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:12,020 I think I just need to powder you and we're good. 427 00:21:12,031 --> 00:21:14,198 Uh, I think it's a little heavy. 428 00:21:14,209 --> 00:21:17,332 No, no, no, no, no, honey, this is the exact right look for this dress. 429 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:20,070 You see, your dress is light, so we gotta weigh it down on the face. 430 00:21:20,081 --> 00:21:21,918 - Even the lips? - Yes. 431 00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,974 - Okay. Are you sure? - I've been doing this for 25 years. 432 00:21:24,985 --> 00:21:26,940 - Hey. - Hey. 433 00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:28,230 Oh, my God. 434 00:21:28,383 --> 00:21:29,917 What the fuck is your fuckin' problem? 435 00:21:29,928 --> 00:21:31,231 I don't have a problem. 436 00:21:31,242 --> 00:21:34,599 I just think that the makeup is a little bit, um... 437 00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:35,881 shellacked. 438 00:21:35,892 --> 00:21:38,096 It looks like you went to Hershey, Pennsylvania, 439 00:21:38,107 --> 00:21:40,456 - and just went, like... - It's just a lot. 440 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,283 Well, have you ever even worn makeup before? 441 00:21:42,294 --> 00:21:44,583 Yes, I wear mascara every Saturday. 442 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,405 Yeah, um, the dress is light, so we have to weigh it down with makeup. 443 00:21:47,416 --> 00:21:49,828 You guys think that maybe this is a little bit heavy? 444 00:21:49,839 --> 00:21:53,370 You know what? You all are a bunch of bitches. Do you know that? 445 00:21:53,381 --> 00:21:56,380 Sophia Bush, grateful. You, twats. 446 00:21:56,391 --> 00:21:58,390 Twat, twat, twat. An army full of twats. 447 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:01,135 - Oh, no, fuck, no, Bebe. - Why does Bebe do this to herself? 448 00:22:01,146 --> 00:22:03,975 - I look fucking insane! - You look fucking beautiful! 449 00:22:03,986 --> 00:22:07,016 No, I don't, and it's fucking raining! 450 00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:08,276 But fertility! 451 00:22:08,287 --> 00:22:11,140 Everyone, shut the fuck up about fertility! 452 00:22:11,151 --> 00:22:12,914 "Oh, fertility. You're gonna get fucking pregnant." 453 00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:15,561 What if I don't want to? I wear an IUD for a fucking reason. 454 00:22:15,572 --> 00:22:17,539 And it's raining on my fucking wedding day! 455 00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:19,230 Fuck! Ahh! 456 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:20,620 Fuck! 457 00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:26,941 It's weddings. It's to be expected. 458 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:32,925 Go away. 459 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,244 - Marn? - No! 460 00:22:34,255 --> 00:22:35,456 - Marn, please. - No. 461 00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:37,383 Hannah, I don't feel like getting in a fucking fight 462 00:22:37,394 --> 00:22:38,749 with you right now, seriously. 463 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,147 I'm not gonna get in a fight with you. 464 00:22:40,158 --> 00:22:43,469 I just want to say that you look beautiful. 465 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:44,802 Are you fucking kidding me? 466 00:22:44,813 --> 00:22:47,732 You do. You look so beautiful. 467 00:22:47,743 --> 00:22:49,451 My makeup is insane. 468 00:22:49,462 --> 00:22:50,810 It's not insane, okay? 469 00:22:50,821 --> 00:22:53,001 If we just take it down a little... 470 00:22:53,651 --> 00:22:55,305 around the face... 471 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,479 I'm sorry. 472 00:22:59,163 --> 00:23:00,644 I'm so sorry. 473 00:23:00,655 --> 00:23:04,072 I have been so fucking awful today. 474 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,321 - Yeah. - I don't know what to say. 475 00:23:06,342 --> 00:23:09,525 I don't have a good excuse except that I was scared. 476 00:23:09,536 --> 00:23:11,380 What? What the fuck are you scared about? 477 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,224 Marn, you're getting married. 478 00:23:13,631 --> 00:23:15,393 That's a big deal. 479 00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:17,195 That's everything changing. 480 00:23:17,206 --> 00:23:19,865 And you're marrying Desi, who I barely even know. 481 00:23:19,876 --> 00:23:22,320 That's because you haven't even tried to know me. 482 00:23:22,855 --> 00:23:24,774 I don't know what that even means. 483 00:23:24,785 --> 00:23:27,656 Hannah, it has literally been years since you checked in with me 484 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:29,179 to see, like, where I'm at. 485 00:23:29,566 --> 00:23:32,008 I'm not dumb. I know you guys are laughing at me 486 00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:35,843 and wondering what stupid fucking mistake Marnie's gonna make next. 487 00:23:35,854 --> 00:23:37,778 But I have been there for you 488 00:23:37,789 --> 00:23:41,106 and I have stood by you while you've made some huge mistakes. 489 00:23:41,117 --> 00:23:43,432 So the very least you could do right now 490 00:23:43,443 --> 00:23:46,099 is to pretend that I might be doing the right thing. 491 00:23:50,646 --> 00:23:52,254 You're totally right. 492 00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:56,649 I have made a lot of really dumb mistakes. 493 00:23:58,722 --> 00:24:00,972 Do you think I'm making a mistake? 494 00:24:02,225 --> 00:24:04,142 I'm not the right person... 495 00:24:04,153 --> 00:24:05,723 Do you? 496 00:24:07,898 --> 00:24:09,204 No. 497 00:24:09,923 --> 00:24:12,749 No, I am with you every step of the way. 498 00:24:12,916 --> 00:24:14,165 Okay. 499 00:24:18,052 --> 00:24:19,653 I'm sorry. 500 00:24:21,342 --> 00:24:23,217 I'm excited. 501 00:24:24,552 --> 00:24:26,587 Yeah, good. 502 00:24:31,390 --> 00:24:34,717 Who's the guy with the beard and the long hair who showed up in the Porsche? 503 00:24:34,728 --> 00:24:36,007 That guy. That one. 504 00:24:36,018 --> 00:24:38,174 Oh, um, I-I can't remember his name, 505 00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:40,475 but I know that he splits the Porsche with somebody. 506 00:24:40,486 --> 00:24:42,973 What about the guy with the cane and the eye patch? 507 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:45,815 Jesus, your faces! 508 00:24:46,012 --> 00:24:47,583 Excuse you? 509 00:24:48,645 --> 00:24:50,098 I love you. 510 00:24:51,522 --> 00:24:52,894 Oh, my God. 511 00:24:53,053 --> 00:24:54,991 It's okay. You look great. 512 00:24:55,002 --> 00:24:56,362 You look really great. 513 00:24:56,373 --> 00:24:58,689 - But my face. - Okay. 514 00:24:59,857 --> 00:25:01,190 I'm gonna handle this. 515 00:25:01,201 --> 00:25:02,401 I think she looks great. 516 00:25:02,412 --> 00:25:06,621 It's like you take a tiny bit of tissue and you've got this on lock. 517 00:25:07,521 --> 00:25:09,413 - What's that? - It's... 518 00:25:10,608 --> 00:25:11,857 Ah. 519 00:25:24,358 --> 00:25:26,058 They're so nice. 520 00:25:34,528 --> 00:25:36,304 Mother of the bride! 521 00:25:36,315 --> 00:25:38,097 And the girls! 522 00:25:43,467 --> 00:25:44,957 It's all happening, gentlemen. 523 00:25:46,076 --> 00:25:47,626 Made it to the altar. 524 00:25:48,435 --> 00:25:49,833 And I owe it all to you. 525 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,718 Hannah, you coming? 526 00:26:47,577 --> 00:26:52,577 Sync & corrections by PetaG www.MY-SUBS.com 41404

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