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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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What's so funny, you little creep?
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I don't know.
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Oh.
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You look like a teacher
I had in fourth grade.
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I thought I wanted my mom to marry him, but
now I realize I just wanted to fuck him.
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Mm.
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This apartment is so trippy.
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It's like we're in a Tiffany music video.
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Wait, is that really getting you off?
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Thinking of fucking me
in a Tiffany music video?
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- Fuck, yeah.
- Ah!
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Yeah, me, too.
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- "I think we're alone now."
- Yeah!
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Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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You all doing all right over here?
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You don't get pierogies
like this back in Michigan.
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Which is odd considering the
size of the Polish population,
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especially in Detroit.
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The variations in regional
recipe is such a fascinating thing
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because some people use more flour...
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How's Mom?
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Very well.
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Very excited about finally getting tenure
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- and not having to deal with that...
- Papa.
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Oh, you know...
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as well as could be expected, I guess.
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Just a lot of emotions.
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I mean, who knew a person
could have that many emotions?
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How are you, kiddo?
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I mean, I know this must
be just such a huge shock.
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I'm okay.
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You know I'm proud of you and
I'm worried about Mom, you know,
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but at the end of the day, this
isn't really about me. So...
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Well, sure, it is. I mean,
you're part of this family.
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When I think about it, my
parents have been married
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for way longer than most
of my friends' parents,
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so in that way I'm actually really lucky.
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We're really not talking
about divorce right now.
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What do you mean?
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I mean, staying married
is not off the table.
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People have all kinds of arrangements.
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So you finally get the courage
to come out of the closet
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and you're gonna stay married to a woman?
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Okay, that makes no fucking sense.
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It works for some people.
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You know, I just saw a documentary
about a guy, a man who was gay,
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and they had grown kids and his wife knew.
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Worked for them.
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Are you talking about "The Staircase"?
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'Cause in that, he... he killed his wife,
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so in a sense it didn't
work for them at all.
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You don't know everything,
okay? Basically, you're a child.
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I'm actually not a child.
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I have way more experience
with this stuff than you do.
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- You... oh, really?
- Yes, really.
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I was in a relationship with a gay man,
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we broke up, and I've been navigating
the choppy waters ever since.
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You're a child, basically, okay?
I bet you didn't even bring your
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wallet, did you? Am I right?
Did you bring your wallet here?
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- I brought my wallet here.
- Oh? Let me see it, then.
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No, I'm not gonna show you my
wallet for this stupid game.
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00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:19,772
Let me see your wallet
if you're such a grown-up.
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00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,524
I came right from the gym.
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You don't have to laugh.
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That's right. That's what Jeremy told me.
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- Wait, it's not true.
- Yeah, he's going.
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Cleo?
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'Sup, "Whore-vath"?
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Can I have a quick word with you?
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Just a quick word?
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- What?
- What's going on?
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I sent you, like, ten texts this
weekend and called you three times.
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You didn't answer any of it.
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Well, my phone must have run out of power.
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Well, your Instagram told a pretty
different story, Cleo. I know that
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you and Jake were out in Prospect
Park and he made you a flower crown.
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- Okay, I'm sorry. It's not a big deal.
- It is a big deal.
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I'm going through some very
intense stuff with my family, okay?
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Kind of cosmic, heavy stuff,
and I needed to talk to you
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00:04:08,076 --> 00:04:09,583
and you weren't there.
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You're being really intense.
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So your dad is gay. So what?
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I knew you checked your phone.
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My friend Thomas has, like, four dads,
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so you need to check your homophobia.
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My homophobia?
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Cleo, I'm like the least
homophobic person you've ever met.
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I've had sex with a gay man.
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- Well, then, why are you yelling at me?
- I'm not yelling at you.
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Why are you being such a B-I-T-C-H?
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Are you calling me a bitch?
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You're being kind of a bitch,
so what am I supposed to say?
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00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,013
- You know what? You're kinda psycho.
- I'm psycho?
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00:04:38,014 --> 00:04:39,888
- Yeah.
- Well, maybe I am psycho
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'cause it was psychotic of me to
choose you as a mentee and confidant.
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00:04:42,939 --> 00:04:45,247
Sorry your parents suck.
Everybody's parents suck.
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Welcome to reality.
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What the eff would you
know about reality, Cleo?
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What'd you ever learn on
the mean streets of Parks...
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- Cleo, I believe you have a class.
- Yeah, sorry.
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Miss Horvath, let's adjourn
to my office, please.
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I thought we were friends, Cleo.
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Friends who could talk
about things, real things.
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Hannah.
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00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:07,782
I think I know what you're
gonna say, Principal Toby,
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00:05:07,783 --> 00:05:09,357
and I absolutely agree with you.
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I should've saved that conversation
with Cleo for after school hours.
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- I'm so sorry.
- Yes, or not at all, maybe.
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Well, yeah, but would it have
really been fair to her or to
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me to keep all my feelings
stuffed inside? I don't think so.
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Look, Hannah, you've been a great sub.
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You know, you really connect with
the kids academically, socially,
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and you've got them excited about learning.
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I think it's because I really remember
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what it was like to be a kid myself.
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But the thing you have to remember
is you're not a kid anymore.
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No, I mean, of course I'm not a
kid. The things I've seen in my life,
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- it's not suitable for a child's eyes.
- But, see, the thing is you need to be
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mindful of... boundaries.
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Yes.
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And concentrate on not
going past the boundary.
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Okay, I think the reason that's
been hard for me this week
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is because my father recently came
out of the closet as a proud gay man.
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Ooh, whoa. Exactly.
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That's exactly the kind of
boundary I'm talking about.
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You and I are coworkers. I'm your boss.
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That's something I don't
want to know anything about.
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You think I wanted to know
anything about it? I mean, that is a
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child's worst nightmare.
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It's not a homophobia thing.
It's just imagining your parent
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in a sexual situation of
any kind is brutalizing.
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Right, but see...
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...you're an adult and I know it sucks,
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but you just have to start at least trying
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to keep at least some stuff inside.
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Are you gonna fire me?
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Look, you got a lot of stuff going on.
Why don't you take the rest of the day off
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so you can, you know, deal
with whatever those issues are?
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You mean like my father coming out of the
closet as a proud gay man in his late 50s.
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Again, don't want to
know, didn't need to know.
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Boundaries.
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I love your jeans.
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Boundaries.
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Ugh, this tastes like boiled
butter and not in the good way.
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Look, you're the one who wanted
to day drink, so just man up.
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- Okay.
- So...
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00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:07,157
what did Tad have to say for himself?
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- Um...
- Also, real quick before you start,
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I told you so.
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I just wanted to get that out of the way.
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Continue.
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You didn't tell me so.
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- Beg your pardon?
- You didn't tell me so.
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I'm sorry, I-I seem to recall
actually saying to your face
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that your father was a homosexual.
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Yeah, but you think
everyone's a homosexual.
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Most people are.
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- You told me Barack Obama was gay.
- He reads bi.
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I don't know. My dad keeps saying that
he thinks they're gonna stay together.
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- Your poor mom.
- And I said to him,
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"Why would you want to come out of
the closet after a thousand years
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and then stay with Mom?" And he
said, "You don't understand anything."
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Look, it's very scary to come out.
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So I'm sure he's just coming out in chunks,
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you know, like... like, I said
for a while that I was bisexual.
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We all know that was a lie, but it's scary,
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00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:55,100
so I'm sure right now
he's-he's probably telling you
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that it's just all in his head
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- and he's never done anything, right?
- He said he's never done anything.
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- Yeah, well, that's a lie.
- Is it?
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00:08:01,994 --> 00:08:05,839
Fuck, yeah, it's a lie. I would bet
my house seats to "If/Then" that, like,
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in one month, he's gonna be like,
"Well, I did have this college roommate
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and we did have feelings for each
other, but we never did anything."
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And then... and then in, like, two
months, he's gonna be like, "Oh, yeah,
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I got my fucking ass pounded by
our insurance adjuster last year."
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No, I'm trying so hard
to be open and accepting,
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but you can't say stuff
like that about my dad.
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My point is... is that I'm sure him
saying they're gonna stay together
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is just like a stutter step.
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I'm just... I'm worried about him.
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He's so lost. I feel terrible.
He doesn't have anyone to talk to.
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- Mm.
- He doesn't have any community.
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I don't know, I just wish that he
had, like, a group he could join
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00:08:42,569 --> 00:08:43,420
or some friends.
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I'm sure the gays in Michigan are terrible.
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I can't even imagine.
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It's a lot of cargo pants, I would think.
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Hey, Shosh.
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00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,020
I think we're good with the
balloons and the bunting.
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00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:03,959
I mean, can you imagine how all
this is gonna... what if I lose?
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00:09:03,972 --> 00:09:05,940
You're not gonna lose.
You're Ray Ploshansky.
192
00:09:05,953 --> 00:09:08,428
- Let's take back the borough.
- I just don't want you to get too excited.
193
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,948
Okay, seriously, Ray, what else do
I have to do with my life right now?
194
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,487
The job interviews have dried up,
nobody's buying what I'm selling.
195
00:09:13,488 --> 00:09:16,205
I couldn't get hired to give away
free blowjobs at a bus station.
196
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,589
So I'm gonna bask in your
glory a little bit, yes.
197
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,354
Okay, all right. I'm sorry, all
right? I'm just a little nervous here.
198
00:09:21,355 --> 00:09:25,012
I'm sure you can appreciate
that. I'm nervous and...
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00:09:25,047 --> 00:09:27,131
I just... I really want this.
200
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:30,801
Yeah, and what Ray Ploshansky
wants, Ray Ploshansky gets.
201
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,803
Except for me. Or Marnie.
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00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,521
Really any woman you've ever loved.
203
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:36,829
- Okay.
- But now, if you'll excuse me,
204
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:39,060
there is a cake with your
face on it that ended up
205
00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,898
looking a little bit more
like Muammar Qaddafi, so
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00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,005
I'm gonna do some damage
control frosting wise.
207
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:48,344
I just don't understand why
you'd want to stay with him.
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00:09:48,351 --> 00:09:50,988
It's a very confusing time.
209
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,919
I'm sure you're confused,
too, right, sweets?
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00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,288
Um, I mean, I'm okay. I'm mostly
just worried about you guys.
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00:09:57,289 --> 00:10:00,050
You're okay? I mean, how can you be okay?
212
00:10:00,051 --> 00:10:01,756
Your life is falling apart.
213
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:04,287
It's basically all been a lie, Hannah.
214
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:06,230
I mean, I guess so, but
it kind of sounds more
215
00:10:06,256 --> 00:10:08,197
like you're talking
about your life than mine.
216
00:10:08,224 --> 00:10:12,741
You are so right. Jesus, what
the fuck do I know, right?
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00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,966
- Mom.
- Why are you asking for life advice
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00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:20,243
from a woman who obviously doesn't
know anything about anything?
219
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,693
I didn't ask for life advice.
220
00:10:21,694 --> 00:10:23,705
Everything I have ever
told you about anything,
221
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,425
I want you to disregard it.
222
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:28,938
What the fuck do I know?
Who gives a shit, anyway?
223
00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:31,968
Maybe you should call Janet from next
door and have her come sit with you.
224
00:10:31,969 --> 00:10:35,237
And you guys can, you know, look
at some magazines or something.
225
00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:37,073
Where is your dad right now, anyway, huh?
226
00:10:37,074 --> 00:10:38,585
Christopher Street or something?
227
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,754
That's not even where gay
people hang out anymore.
228
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,939
Charles, my student who's gay,
229
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,158
thinks that your dad is gonna be a daddy.
230
00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:49,831
Your dad is gonna be a daddy.
231
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:52,225
I mean, do you think he's
gonna be a daddy, Hannah?
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00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:53,133
What?
233
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:54,685
Do you think he's gonna be a daddy?
234
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,887
Mom, you know what? I'm
gonna call Janet, okay?
235
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:59,273
You just sit tight and
I'm gonna call Janet.
236
00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:02,000
Don't call Janet. She
doesn't get any of this.
237
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:04,240
She doesn't get the
whole thing about sucking
238
00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:06,912
dick or anything. None
of it. She really doesn't.
239
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:10,367
You're making... you're
making me uncomfortable.
240
00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:14,454
Think about anal sex!
Now that's uncomfortable.
241
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,521
- Okay, hey, I'm in heels. I'm in heels,
- Run with me! Run with me!
242
00:11:16,528 --> 00:11:17,624
...hold on. Whoo!
243
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,543
- Ah!
- Run faster!
244
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,603
Do you see what's on my feet?
245
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:24,081
Stop.
246
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:26,133
Oh, my God.
247
00:11:26,168 --> 00:11:27,384
- You all right?
- Yeah.
248
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,013
So what is this place we're going to?
249
00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:31,221
- Like, Moroccan food?
- Ethiopian.
250
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,590
- Oh, nice.
- It's my friend's restaurant.
251
00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:37,427
I photographed her breasts
for a project on globalization.
252
00:11:37,429 --> 00:11:39,263
Holy shit.
253
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,848
What?
254
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,016
We're right by Mimi-Rose's place.
255
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,735
Cool.
256
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,070
Should we head up there and
see what she and Adam are doing?
257
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,189
Uh, why?
258
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,325
That... wouldn't that be weird for you?
259
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,826
No.
260
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:53,994
We're all grown-ups.
261
00:11:54,029 --> 00:11:55,959
Yeah, we... yeah, okay.
262
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,497
Just for, like, a minute.
263
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,334
No, no, I'll walk behind you.
264
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:02,002
Whoo!
265
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:05,539
Hello.
266
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:06,957
What's up?
267
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,926
- How are you, man?
- I'm good, I'm good.
268
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,284
Good. Oh, we were literally just walking
down your street on our way to dinner
269
00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,548
and I thought about this fucking blue door.
270
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,601
Colored doors are a reason to live.
271
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,307
Adam, is this a good time?
272
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,726
Were you about to, like,
make love or take a shit?
273
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,111
No, no, but Mimi-Rose is in the shower.
274
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,646
But you can come in.
275
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,231
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
276
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,950
Okay.
277
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:36,820
Jessa, come here. I want to show you this
herb garden I planted when I lived here.
278
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,488
Oh, okay.
279
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,123
I do love an herb.
280
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:48,498
Oh, okay... oh, yeah, it's still there.
281
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,051
It's still there 'cause I planted
it and it's amazing in the sunshine.
282
00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:52,836
- Hey, guys.
- Mm-hmm.
283
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,554
This is a surprise.
284
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:57,341
Yeah? Fun one or scary one?
285
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,843
Fu-scary.
286
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:03,292
I was just about to tell them
that we're about to head out.
287
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:06,048
We actually, uh... we're
going to dinner now.
288
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:11,291
Um, we-uh, Ace's friend with the
tits is, uh, gonna be expecting us
289
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,063
and we just wanted to say hi.
290
00:13:13,064 --> 00:13:15,242
And now that we've said hi, we can say bye.
291
00:13:15,277 --> 00:13:17,744
- Oh, okay, great.
- No, stay.
292
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,365
Adam, would you fry up some sausages?
293
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:25,452
Sure, I'll fry up some sausages.
Everybody here like sausages?
294
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:27,921
Yeah.
295
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:31,458
I remember in '89, they didn't
even finish counting the ballots
296
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,793
till 3:00 a.m. in the morning.
297
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,738
Wow. Well, yeah, I imagine
you get big turnouts
298
00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:36,670
like that when your
choices are so stark, right?
299
00:13:36,671 --> 00:13:39,683
I mean, Dinkins, Giuliani.
It's like night and day.
300
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,219
Don't even talk to me about Dinkins.
301
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,604
It was all about us till he won.
302
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,057
Then it was all about them.
303
00:13:47,109 --> 00:13:49,026
Wait, what does that mean?
304
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:51,395
- You know.
- Oh, don't listen to him.
305
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,527
In the '90s, he was met with reverses.
306
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,033
Mind your own business, Kippy.
307
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:55,983
Mm.
308
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,069
- This is it.
- Whoa.
309
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:02,039
Look at this.
310
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:03,991
- Hey, sweetie?
- Yeah?
311
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:08,029
I think we should, uh, maybe not tell
anyone about our little secret yet.
312
00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:09,546
Oh, baby, don't worry about it.
313
00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:11,975
I am a very private person. You know that.
314
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,394
I do. Good.
315
00:14:13,407 --> 00:14:15,177
I just... I want it to be our special thing
316
00:14:15,178 --> 00:14:17,131
- for a little while longer.
- I love that. I love that idea.
317
00:14:17,132 --> 00:14:19,137
Ooh, secrets are so sexy.
318
00:14:20,592 --> 00:14:21,758
- Hey.
- Hi.
319
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,560
- What's up?
- Nothing.
320
00:14:23,595 --> 00:14:25,262
Nothing new having to do with me.
321
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:27,431
Okay. Pizza?
322
00:14:27,483 --> 00:14:29,516
- Um, no, thank you.
- No, thanks.
323
00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:30,934
It looks great, Shosh. Congrats.
324
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:33,737
- Thank you.
- Good job.
325
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:37,274
Um, I... why don't you go get us something
to drink? I'm gonna go say hi to Ray.
326
00:14:37,326 --> 00:14:39,609
- All right.
- I love you.
327
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:44,158
♪ Happy birthday, Mr. President... ♪
328
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:46,233
- Marilyn Monroe.
- Yeah, I know.
329
00:14:46,234 --> 00:14:48,168
- Got the reference.
- Good.
330
00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:51,004
I wasn't gonna tell anyone this,
331
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,123
but I have some news.
332
00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:54,541
Yeah?
333
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,986
Is that what I think it is?
334
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,299
I'm getting married.
335
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,468
- You and Desi?
- Yes.
336
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,803
- Wow.
- I know.
337
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:08,889
- Congratulations! I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you.
338
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:11,975
- Thank you so much.
- I'm just...
339
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,751
- You're the first person I'm telling.
- Really?
340
00:15:13,752 --> 00:15:14,945
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm honored.
341
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,066
I wanted to tell you 'cause
I feel very close to you.
342
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,866
And you really held my hand
through this whole thing,
343
00:15:19,867 --> 00:15:22,834
and I feel like you helped me see
it through to its logical conclusion.
344
00:15:22,835 --> 00:15:25,397
And also I just wanted to make
sure it wasn't gonna be weird.
345
00:15:25,403 --> 00:15:27,265
Are you kidding, Marn? This is perfect.
346
00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:28,584
- Are you kidding me? Yeah, no, this...
- Oh, good.
347
00:15:28,597 --> 00:15:31,597
this is the right move at the right time
for you, absolutely. This is a slam dunk.
348
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,528
Ray, thank you.
349
00:15:32,529 --> 00:15:34,884
- Yeah, I mean it... No...
- I was most nervous about your reaction.
350
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,921
Reverse windmill slam dunk. Where's
the lucky guy? Desi, come on over here!
351
00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:39,669
- Hey, Des.
- Come here.
352
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:41,805
- Look at this guy.
- Luckiest guy on the planet.
353
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,673
She just told me the good news, man.
354
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,081
- What? Marnie.
- I know.
355
00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:45,782
She couldn't help it,
356
00:15:45,788 --> 00:15:47,512
- she couldn't help it.
- I was so excited.
357
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,868
It's really exciting. Amazing, right?
358
00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:51,149
- It's crazy.
- Unbelievable.
359
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,730
- Oh, we're so happy.
- So happy for you guys.
360
00:15:52,731 --> 00:15:54,586
- Oh, thank you, Ray. Thank you very much.
- Yeah.
361
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,153
You done good, my friend.
You done real good.
362
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:58,905
You'll make an honest
woman out of the trollop.
363
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:00,730
- What is that?
- That's my
364
00:16:00,731 --> 00:16:02,986
- future wife you're talking about.
- Yeah, future...
365
00:16:02,987 --> 00:16:04,888
Oh, my God. Future wife.
366
00:16:04,889 --> 00:16:06,580
Yeah.
367
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,416
Yeah.
368
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:12,104
Oh, this guy was...
369
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,066
We're gonna get together.
I just haven't called yet.
370
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:17,091
- Hannah, look what I did.
- You sure did.
371
00:16:17,092 --> 00:16:18,916
Ah, look. Doesn't he look great?
372
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:22,212
He's such a daddy. I told
you he'd be such a daddy.
373
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:25,015
Whatever you say, Elijah. I defer, I defer.
374
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,717
Yeah, you look great.
375
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,437
Here we go.
376
00:16:30,472 --> 00:16:33,306
I'm sorry, this is all just a
little much for me right now.
377
00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:35,498
I can't go through this again.
378
00:16:35,499 --> 00:16:37,611
- Is it the cuffs?
- No.
379
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,867
I think it's more just
you being called "daddy"
380
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,676
over and over again in a sexual way
381
00:16:41,677 --> 00:16:43,283
when you're, you know, my daddy.
382
00:16:43,318 --> 00:16:46,086
Oh, Banana, I know it's
hard. It is for me, too.
383
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:49,855
I don't have a problem with you being
gay, okay? I'm a famous liberal, okay?
384
00:16:49,856 --> 00:16:51,624
- Of course you are.
- My beliefs perfectly align
385
00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:53,026
with having a gay father.
386
00:16:53,027 --> 00:16:54,718
I know. I mean, remember
the picture we took with you
387
00:16:54,744 --> 00:16:56,252
and Hillary Clinton when
you were a little girl?
388
00:16:56,253 --> 00:16:57,998
- Yes.
- She loved you.
389
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,414
It's okay to feel confused, Hannah.
390
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:04,387
Um, you can ask me
anything. Maybe that'll help.
391
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,056
- Okay.
- I'm okay.
392
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:09,059
Okay, honey. Okay.
393
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,853
- Okay, I would like to ask you one thing.
- Sure.
394
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,120
I think it's important for me to know...
395
00:17:14,121 --> 00:17:15,858
- have you ever been with a man?
- No.
396
00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:17,434
- Tad.
- Okay.
397
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,986
There was, uh, one guy in my senior year.
398
00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:21,688
It was mostly dry humping.
399
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,108
Okay, that's good information to have.
400
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,731
I can work with that information.
401
00:17:26,732 --> 00:17:28,345
You know, I always wondered
what happened to him.
402
00:17:28,371 --> 00:17:30,080
Turns out he's in
commercial real estate now.
403
00:17:30,081 --> 00:17:30,987
- Great.
- Yeah.
404
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,749
I helped him do some Facebook sleuthing.
405
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:35,952
We reconnected, so, you know,
406
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,646
who knows what the future holds?
407
00:17:37,647 --> 00:17:39,956
- Full-on anal.
- Gross.
408
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,784
- Seriously, you guys? I'm trying
- Hannah, come on.
409
00:17:41,785 --> 00:17:43,627
so hard to be cool about this,
410
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,629
but you are not making it easy.
411
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:48,431
Okay, you're my dad.
412
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,823
I don't want to hear about you having sex
413
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:51,655
with anyone. I don't want to hear
about you having sex with Mom.
414
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:52,930
- Okay.
- I don't want to hear about you
415
00:17:52,931 --> 00:17:55,047
dry-humping some guy, and
I don't want to be made
416
00:17:55,048 --> 00:17:56,640
to feel like some self-involved asshole
417
00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:58,530
because I'm a little discombobulated.
418
00:17:58,531 --> 00:18:01,529
I think what you two
need are some serious...
419
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,879
boundaries.
420
00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:07,197
And if you'll excuse me, I have
a political event to attend.
421
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:10,870
Banana, honey...
422
00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,902
Okay, is everyone done with their sausages?
423
00:18:14,904 --> 00:18:16,453
'Cause I'd like to clear our plates.
424
00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:18,476
I'm sorry, I'm just distracted right now
425
00:18:18,477 --> 00:18:19,958
by these feelings of jealousy...
426
00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:22,543
that you two are apparently together now?
427
00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:24,298
- Okay.
- It's not serious.
428
00:18:24,299 --> 00:18:26,547
Yeah, well, maybe not yet.
429
00:18:26,582 --> 00:18:29,550
It might not be serious yet, but
Jessa really wants to have babies.
430
00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:31,922
- I do?
- And she has an incredibly nurturing
431
00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:36,723
instinct. And I am so fucking
excited to see where this is going.
432
00:18:36,759 --> 00:18:39,009
You have no idea.
433
00:18:39,061 --> 00:18:41,512
Wow, so this is what jealousy is, huh?
434
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:44,898
I guess I've never really
experienced it before.
435
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:48,268
Well, you know, we... we could go.
436
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,632
I think that the better choice would be
437
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:51,855
to stay here and talk
about this, don't you, love?
438
00:18:51,907 --> 00:18:54,775
Um, yeah, okay, Jesus.
439
00:18:54,827 --> 00:18:57,778
I mean, this involves... Adam,
you wanna join this convo, buddy?
440
00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,947
No, I'm good with my sponge.
441
00:18:59,949 --> 00:19:03,041
Adam, I think it's really important
for you and for us as a couple.
442
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,008
Oh, my fucking God. I'm
sorry, I'm trying really hard,
443
00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:08,589
but the last fucking time
I saw this fucking jabroni,
444
00:19:08,624 --> 00:19:10,757
he was telling me that I was
just a passing phase in your life
445
00:19:10,793 --> 00:19:12,423
and that he was gonna
get you back eventually,
446
00:19:12,424 --> 00:19:14,411
so sorry if I'm not so
interested in this conversation.
447
00:19:14,412 --> 00:19:17,798
Clearly I'm not the only one who's
experiencing feelings of jealousy.
448
00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:19,099
But on the other hand,
449
00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:21,885
I can't deny that I really want Ace back.
450
00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:24,888
What?
451
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:27,182
Don't fucking say it if
you don't fucking mean it.
452
00:19:27,183 --> 00:19:28,320
And you know I'm not kidding.
453
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:31,361
Oh, my God. This is
officially bullshit now.
454
00:19:31,397 --> 00:19:33,022
No, no, no. You came over.
You can't go anywhere.
455
00:19:33,023 --> 00:19:35,899
I'm leaving. I'm leaving
because you are full of shit
456
00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:37,453
and I know exactly what you're doing
457
00:19:37,454 --> 00:19:39,531
and I'm not gonna be a pawn in your game.
458
00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:41,204
I fucking run game.
459
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,529
And you are full of
shit in a different way.
460
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,942
I don't even know what that way is,
461
00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:48,712
but I'm sure you'll probably make
some really shitty art about it.
462
00:19:48,747 --> 00:19:51,202
And you're a sucker, just like me.
463
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:52,772
And if you have any sense at all,
464
00:19:52,773 --> 00:19:55,134
you'll leave with me right
now and never look back.
465
00:19:56,388 --> 00:19:59,840
I guess there's only one
right choice, isn't there?
466
00:19:59,842 --> 00:20:02,367
You know what? No one cares, you bitch.
467
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,344
What is the right choice, Mimi-Rose, huh?
468
00:20:04,346 --> 00:20:05,846
What is it?
469
00:20:05,848 --> 00:20:07,514
Tell me what the choice is.
470
00:20:07,566 --> 00:20:10,150
I choose...
471
00:20:10,185 --> 00:20:12,819
to be alone. I choose no one.
472
00:20:12,855 --> 00:20:13,947
What?
473
00:20:13,948 --> 00:20:16,023
What the fuck are you talking about?
474
00:20:16,075 --> 00:20:18,609
Oh, my God.
475
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,327
- Adam, let's go.
- Jessa, don't go.
476
00:20:20,362 --> 00:20:22,829
I-I really am ready to be with you now.
477
00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:25,198
This roller coaster's really
brought me back to you.
478
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,367
We had to go through this...
479
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:35,175
- ♪ Our new leader. ♪
- Oh, very nice.
480
00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:38,095
Ray Ploshansky, chairperson.
481
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:39,763
Yeah? Yeah?
482
00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:41,882
Hey, hey, hey, do you like your cake?
483
00:20:41,934 --> 00:20:42,990
Yeah, it looks amazing.
484
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,602
Yeah? I think you look really handsome.
485
00:20:44,603 --> 00:20:46,103
- Thank you so much. Thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
486
00:20:46,138 --> 00:20:48,087
You look a little like
Mister Rogers, but it's okay.
487
00:20:48,088 --> 00:20:51,224
Hi, thanks so much for
coming. Good to see you.
488
00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:52,809
Yeah!
489
00:20:56,065 --> 00:20:57,698
Ploshansky.
490
00:20:57,733 --> 00:20:59,650
Duffield.
491
00:20:59,702 --> 00:21:01,318
Yeah.
492
00:21:01,370 --> 00:21:03,203
Well, I guess I'm here to concede.
493
00:21:03,238 --> 00:21:06,573
You won, fair and square.
494
00:21:06,575 --> 00:21:08,235
Thanks, Ted.
495
00:21:08,236 --> 00:21:10,794
I appreciate it and I, um,
496
00:21:10,829 --> 00:21:12,579
you know, hope we can work together
497
00:21:12,631 --> 00:21:15,048
to see through some of the good
initiatives you've been shepherding.
498
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:17,801
Fuck that. I'm moving to Katonah.
499
00:21:17,836 --> 00:21:20,721
All these whining whack jobs
are your problem now, pal.
500
00:21:20,756 --> 00:21:23,306
- Well, onwards and upwards, right?
- Yeah, whatever.
501
00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:24,758
Is that... is that free booze?
502
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,677
- Test, one, two.
- No...
503
00:21:26,729 --> 00:21:28,178
it's not free booze, actually.
504
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:30,647
- Figures.
- Mic, one, two.
505
00:21:30,683 --> 00:21:33,179
Um, ahem.
506
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:36,868
Ladies and gentlemen,
please help me in welcoming
507
00:21:36,869 --> 00:21:41,188
your new chairperson for
community board number eight,
508
00:21:41,189 --> 00:21:43,243
Mr. Ray Ploshansky.
509
00:21:43,278 --> 00:21:46,780
We're taking the borough back!
510
00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:49,499
Thank you.
511
00:21:49,535 --> 00:21:53,336
Thank you very much. Thank you
very much. Thanks for your support.
512
00:21:53,372 --> 00:21:54,955
- Ray, get on the chair.
- Huh?
513
00:21:55,007 --> 00:21:57,068
- Get on the chair.
- Oh, you want me... okay.
514
00:21:57,069 --> 00:21:58,625
- Get on the chair.
- All right.
515
00:21:58,677 --> 00:22:01,344
We don't... we don't need to do it again.
516
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:03,930
Thank you, Miss Shapiro, for
that stirring introduction,
517
00:22:03,966 --> 00:22:06,835
for all of your support and
guidance during this campaign.
518
00:22:06,836 --> 00:22:08,224
I couldn't have done this without you.
519
00:22:08,225 --> 00:22:12,472
Um, I'd like to begin with a quote.
520
00:22:12,474 --> 00:22:15,142
As Ralph Nader once said,
521
00:22:15,194 --> 00:22:17,644
"When strangers start
acting like neighbors,
522
00:22:17,646 --> 00:22:20,814
communities are reinvigorated."
523
00:22:20,866 --> 00:22:22,899
- End quote.
- Nice!
524
00:22:26,655 --> 00:22:29,656
Okay, you know, I... uh... I'm gonna...
525
00:22:29,708 --> 00:22:31,552
I... s-some of you probably already know,
526
00:22:31,553 --> 00:22:34,211
this has been a... a big year for me,
527
00:22:34,246 --> 00:22:37,164
full of ups, full of downs,
528
00:22:37,216 --> 00:22:39,332
chock-full of surprises.
529
00:22:41,419 --> 00:22:44,471
But as we move forward, I
ask you to remember this...
530
00:22:46,618 --> 00:22:49,976
we're at our best when we're together.
531
00:22:50,012 --> 00:22:53,096
Even if it doesn't seem like a perfect fit,
532
00:22:53,148 --> 00:22:56,979
even if the path is laden
with obstacles, frustrations,
533
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,236
we need to work to understand each other.
534
00:22:59,271 --> 00:23:00,854
- Yep.
- Yep.
535
00:23:00,856 --> 00:23:04,274
And to listen to each other and
ultimately to love each other.
536
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,080
I guess what I'm trying to say here is
537
00:23:10,115 --> 00:23:12,060
none of us has a crystal ball, right?
538
00:23:12,061 --> 00:23:15,702
No one knows what the future
holds, but when you need me,
539
00:23:15,754 --> 00:23:17,704
please know that I'll be here.
540
00:23:17,706 --> 00:23:20,590
If you take a wrong turn, I'll be here.
541
00:23:20,626 --> 00:23:24,177
If you get stuck in a rut and
you can't get out, I'll be here.
542
00:23:24,213 --> 00:23:26,129
If you feel like there's
no one else on this planet
543
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:27,299
that you can talk to, I'll be here.
544
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:30,815
Whatever happens, please
know that I promise
545
00:23:30,816 --> 00:23:35,272
to always, always be here.
546
00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:40,026
Whatever, dickhead.
547
00:23:41,446 --> 00:23:42,863
All right, thanks again for coming.
548
00:23:42,898 --> 00:23:44,948
And, uh, let's take the borough back!
549
00:23:46,401 --> 00:23:48,368
Yay!
550
00:23:51,907 --> 00:23:53,844
Thank you very much.
551
00:23:57,738 --> 00:23:59,531
Thank you. Gracias. Thanks for coming out.
552
00:24:02,968 --> 00:24:04,134
Hey.
553
00:24:04,169 --> 00:24:05,886
- Hey, Shosh.
- You missed my speech.
554
00:24:05,921 --> 00:24:07,137
Uh, how did it go?
555
00:24:07,172 --> 00:24:09,447
Um, yes, it was humble, but still stirring.
556
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:11,007
Do you want some cake?
557
00:24:11,059 --> 00:24:13,508
Um, I'm okay.
558
00:24:13,509 --> 00:24:15,095
I feel weird eating Ray's face.
559
00:24:15,097 --> 00:24:16,513
I'm not really...
560
00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:19,933
in the mood.
561
00:24:21,436 --> 00:24:23,520
Well, you can't...
562
00:24:23,572 --> 00:24:27,107
you can't just, like, leave
a piece that you touched.
563
00:24:33,165 --> 00:24:35,782
Why didn't you warn me?
564
00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:37,450
That's not my job.
565
00:24:37,536 --> 00:24:39,419
I'm fucking busy.
566
00:24:42,591 --> 00:24:44,591
What'd you see in Ace?
567
00:24:46,094 --> 00:24:50,096
I don't know. I saw... adventure.
568
00:24:50,132 --> 00:24:52,368
Someone who never stopped moving.
569
00:24:52,369 --> 00:24:54,768
Didn't give me a chance to think.
570
00:24:54,769 --> 00:24:56,603
I don't do well when I think.
571
00:25:08,150 --> 00:25:11,151
I think I don't want to go in there.
572
00:25:11,203 --> 00:25:12,652
Why?
573
00:25:12,654 --> 00:25:14,371
Are you afraid to see Hannah?
574
00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:18,124
I think I want to see
her too much right now.
575
00:25:21,213 --> 00:25:23,630
Ahem.
576
00:25:23,665 --> 00:25:25,248
I'm out.
577
00:25:29,254 --> 00:25:31,087
Bye.
578
00:25:36,178 --> 00:25:38,845
Congratulations, Ray. You really did it.
579
00:25:38,897 --> 00:25:41,848
Thanks. Yeah, quite a night, huh?
580
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,316
Where's Elijah?
581
00:25:43,352 --> 00:25:47,708
Oh, you know, probably off
trolling Chelsea with my daddy.
582
00:25:47,709 --> 00:25:50,134
Hi. Hi, everybody.
583
00:25:50,135 --> 00:25:51,710
Um, I'm really, really sorry to interrupt,
584
00:25:51,711 --> 00:25:54,194
but, um, we'll get back to the
celebrating in just two seconds.
585
00:25:54,196 --> 00:25:56,064
She is so not sorry to interrupt.
586
00:25:56,065 --> 00:25:58,198
I just... tonight is really special
587
00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:01,868
and I just felt like I
wanted to say something, uh,
588
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,503
here in front of all of you.
589
00:26:03,504 --> 00:26:08,258
Um, Desi and I had an announcement to make.
590
00:26:09,544 --> 00:26:11,211
We're getting married!
591
00:26:13,048 --> 00:26:15,048
- We're getting married.
- Aw, congratulations.
592
00:26:15,050 --> 00:26:17,434
Thank you. We're so excited.
593
00:26:17,469 --> 00:26:20,387
That's great news. I'm so happy for her.
594
00:26:20,439 --> 00:26:22,639
I'm so happy for everyone.
595
00:26:23,859 --> 00:26:25,358
I'm faking it.
596
00:26:25,394 --> 00:26:27,360
I'm faking everything.
597
00:26:27,361 --> 00:26:31,310
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