All language subtitles for Girls.S01E09.ASAP.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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- This is your ex-boyfriend?
- Yes.

- And you still want to tap that?
- I am now dealing

with the deeply painful fact that I'm
probably not gonna end up with him.

No one's ever taken to me
their tech rehearsal before.

I just don't think
this is my thing.

Are you for real?
We open in two weeks.

- Yeah, I'm for real.
- Hannah isn't here.

- She left with Adam.
- But we had a plan.

She hasn't really been very good
about keeping many plans these days.

Oh, my God!
You're peeing on me!

This is exciting, being hit on.

Thank you so much.
You've been so...

Do you know how unusual
it is to see someone

doing something that's so
open and honest and weird

and you're not making fun
of them in your mind?

Don't be cross.
We can still be friends.

We weren't friends
to begin with.

You work for my kids.

I'm gonna do that play
so you can watch it.

Girls - 1x09 - Leave Me Alone
Original air date: July, 10th 2012.

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This is like the most
"S.A.T.C."

Do I know this
melancholy person?

Tally Schifrin? She was
in all my writing classes.

I used to complain about what an
awful writer and human she was.

I mean, we're
basically nemeses.

Oh, my God.
This is so sad.

Her boyfriend killed
himself on purpose

by crashing a vintage car
while on Percocet.

I know.
She's so lucky.

You know, I can't look at this.

She is passive-aggressive.
She's fake.

She's not talented.

All she used to write about
were her sexual escapades,

and then she got into
a monogamous relationship.

And so I thought she'd
reveal her true boring nature

and start writing travelogues
or something, but no...

Her boyfriend
up and killed himself.

Your boyfriend
should kill himself.

You deserve it.

Well, thank you.

Hannah!

Be right back.

She's, like, painfully pretty.

- Hey. Hi.
- Hannah!

- Thank you so much for coming.
- No, yeah, of course.

I mean, I could never miss this.
It's such a huge deal to finish a book.

- I just want to celebrate.
- Thank you.

It doesn't even matter
what's in the book.

Well, I wish that it had been
more of a labor, actually, yeah,

because it just
really poured out of me.

- Oh, wow.
- You know, someone like you,

you're always really
sweating it, you know?

You're really working at it, and
I really admire that effort

to do something that is not,
maybe, the most natural to you.

Maybe because it just poured out of you.

- Thank you.
- It was like a...

like I was just...
like I just water-birthed my truth.

- You know?
- Sorry.

- It's okay.
- Usually I eat anything,

- But that was cold and does not taste good.
- Oh, God.

I know. And now
it's kind of like, what?

You know, this party is insane

and I'm just kind of
embarrassed by it.

It's amazing.
I'm having such a good time.

- Good.
- I'm gonna have to leave soon.

Oh, no.

- Are you still writing?
- I am still writing. Yeah, actually.

- Do you have an agent?
- I don't have an agent.

No, I mean, I have a boyfriend.
He lives in Prospect Heights.

He's alive
and well there, so...

Well, that's really great.

Hopefully he's hetero.

You know what? There's a "New York Magazine"
editor who is totally stalking me,

and if I don't say hello,
she's gonna go crazy.

Also, I completely
have to poop.

Congratulations, Tally.

Oh, my God!

If I was still
in my experimental phase,

I would just rip off your dress
right here and just get into it!

Then people would definitely write
about the party.

- I think they still are.
- They still are.

- Hi.
- What is wrong with her?

I like her. She doesn't
indulge the negativity.

I mean, did you hear
her on "Fresh Air"?

Uh, the first part.
I fell asleep.

Isn't that, um...

- Here we are.
- That's Powell Goldman, my old writing teacher.

Yeah, you were
obsessed with him.

I wasn't obsessed with him.

You were obsessed with him.

He was an amazing teacher.

He read my thesis
and he gave me

these complex,
brilliant, thoughtful notes

- that were just...
- Hannah.

Oh, my God,
go say hi. Go.

- Professor Goldman.
- No, please. Powell.

I didn't like that even
when it was appropriate.

- Sorry.
- It's all right.

I haven't seen you since, um...

It's probably since
I've graduated, so...

I was sobbing.
I apologize.

I still remember
that essay you wrote,

the one about being grounded
for wearing shorts.

I read your new novel, by the way.
I am... I loved it.

There was that amazing "Times" review
and I wanted to write you an email,

but I'm sure you probably get
enough of those emails, so...

Hot tip, Hannah... no one's ever
getting enough of those kind of emails.

Except for maybe Tally.

I want to be so skinny
that people are like,

- "Do you have a disease? Are you gonna die?"
- Yeah.

Yeah. I know this probably
seems like a really big deal,

but Tally is a shitty writer.

Thank you.

And you're a good writer.

Thank you.

As a matter of fact,
I've been putting together

a weekly reading
at Salmagundi Art Club.

It's very casual.

It's tomorrow night.
I think you should come read something.

Oh, I don't think so.

Okay. I know a reading probably
sounds very archaic to you,

but it always helps me
to hear my stuff read aloud.

No, I know it's
a good thing to do,

it's just not really, like,
a very "me" thing to do.

Well, give me an example of what
a "Hannah" thing to do would be.

So you didn't
sleep at all last night?

No, I lay awake all night thinking
about how I was such a freakish bitch

about Tally at her book party.

I mean, I actually tried
to trip her at one point.

You know, and then I realized
of course I'm not mad at her.

- I'm mad at me.
- What for?

For the fact
that my entire life

has been one ridiculous
mistake after another.

I mean, did I ever
tell you, Marnie,

that I went to the stupidest,
stupidest summer camp?

- No.
- Well, I did. You know?

I don't even know what we did there,
because we never put on shows.

We never took hikes.

I mean, you could sign up to water-ski,
but I never signed up to water-ski

and now I'll probably
never water-ski.

What does this have
to do with Tally Schifrin?

It has to do with the fact that
Tally Schifrin took chances.

She wore lipstick to class.
She did everything right...

Including get her boyfriend
to kill himself.

So I'm gonna take a chance and
I'm gonna put myself out there

and I am going
to do the reading.

All right. Don't come in
for like 10 minutes.

Did you give him a key
to our apartment?

He's using mine.

Powell Goldman seemed really
focused on you last night.

- It's a thing.
- Like in a mentor way.

I mean, it's not like
he wants to sleep with me.

To be totally honest,
I think he's the kind of guy

I've always pictured you
being with.

Marnie, he wouldn't.
Tally tried...

Oh, fuck!

I think I'm gonna read the
story about Phil the Hoarder.

Oh. That one?

Yeah, that one.
I just emailed it to Powell.

Why did you say it like that?

- Like what?
- Like you don't like it.

Um, I don't know. I mean, it's
just a little bit, like, whiney.

You know what I mean?

Like if he was that rude and it smelled
that bad, couldn't you just leave?

You know, you could be
a little more supportive.

Wait, are you...
are you kidding?

No, I'm not kidding.

Hannah, I support you,
literally.

Do you have any idea how much
money you owe me at this point?

Of course I do, and that's why I
took a trial shift at Grumpy's.

Soon I'll be able
to start paying you back.

I'm sure you will.

Thank you.
Okay?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

We were there last night at
the center of everything.

Can you believe it?

Yeah.
I can, actually.

The paragraph that I read in
Tally's book really made me think.

Really? I should read
that paragraph.

"None of us know how much
time we have left."

Mm, actually, I do.

When I was three years old,

my mother's psychic, Demetri,
she picked me up,

kissed me on my bottom, and told
me I was going to live until 105.

Oh. Okay, well,

I don't know how much
time I have left,

so, like, I have to
start living, you know?

I did something kind of crazy.

I made an Internet
dating profile.

Okay, I know it
sounds kind of nuts,

but my nutrition teacher,
who's, like, so cool,

met her boyfriend on match.com who's
like super cute and totally perf

and they're like
the most happy together.

And I joined
electrichellos.com

because it's the most
expensive subscription

and ugly people do match,
and I got this message

from this, like, kind of
great-sounding guy.

His name is Brice, which,
like... um, hello. Good name.

He works in product development,
which is, like, perfect for me

because I love products,
and he's Jewish.

He is Jewish.

He likes movies and food.

We're going on a walk this afternoon
to a couple of galleries.

We're starting
in a public place,

'cause I know you're supposed
to do that in case

- they try and rape you.
- Right.

So I'm meeting him at the cafe
at the Old Navy flagship store.

I'm going on a day date.

What are you planning
this afternoon?

I need to make some changes.

- Mm-hmm.
- So I'm thinking of starting with our home.

Oh, like, with...
without me?

Yeah, okay. That's fine.
That's totally fine.

Hey, little face.

Okay, so I changed my mind
about this reading tonight,

and I'm going to do it,
so you wanna come?

No.

Okay, I mean, it'll just be us
making fun of people.

- It's not gonna be...
- Sorry, kid. Readings are bullshit.

I've never been to a reading where I didn't
want to strangle the fucking person reading.

Plus, they have those stupid
fucking little crackers

that are supposed to be cookies,
but are supposed to be crackers.

There's no fucking meat.

If it had fucking meat, I would eat
that shit, but there's nothing.

Plus everyone's drunk and act like what
they have to say is somehow still valid.

And I actually
totally agree with you.

Then why do it?

You know, because sometimes you want
to, like, get to someplace new,

you have to change the way
you're doing things.

Someplace new?
Where do you want to be?

Can you sit on my back?

- Just right here or...
- Like I showed you.

- Okay.
- Here, let me get down.

- Ow.
- Oh, fucker!

Sorry.

Come in.

Hi.

Katherine.

This is a strange situation.

But now, now that I've had a
chance to process my emotion,

I can just say fuck
Jeff and his penis.

You know? I need you
and my girls need you.

Jessa, I want you to come back.

Morning, Ray.

- I am really excited...
- Did you bring other clothes with you?

- No.
- You have to go home and change.

Is there like a dress code that
I didn't know about or is...

Hannah, you're wearing
a white dress. Okay?

You're essentially begging
the world to fuck with you.

Do you understand that?
You're daring a homeless person

to wipe their blood
on your breasts.

Well, we wear aprons, don't we?

This isn't a consumptive
women's hospital.

We don't wear aprons.
No.

Okay? Forget all the BBC you
watch at home with your cats

and pick out
an appropriate outfit.

And don't do some shit where you come
back wearing gray flannel sweatpants

and a Taylor Swift t-shirt
to be a dick. Okay?

I know all the dick moves.
Don't be a dick.

Okay? Just a nice, uh...
a nice cute top.

- A cute top?
- Yeah, a cute top.

Stop by at American Apparel
if you have to.

And get a slim leg.
Jeans with a slim leg.

- Okay.
- I want you back in an hour.

Slim leg. Okay?
Slim leg.

I've been having a lot of dreams about you.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Like what kind?

Ones where I stab you...

Over and over again.

Is there, like,
just blood gushing?

Yes. I remember
I try to cut your body

into as many
little pieces as I can

and then I...
I start to eat you.

I start to eat your body.
And then across the room,

all of a sudden,
my daughters are there.

They're playing
Chinese jump rope.

My mother is
breast-feeding Jeff.

They all turn to look at me
and then I shit you out.

But not all of you.

And so I think this means I'm
still holding onto some anger.

Yeah.

On the other hand, I
wanted to thank you,

'cause I... I think
you made me see some things

about my marriage
that I'd been ignoring.

And you stopped the situation
before anything happened, so...

Does no... nothing
did happen, right?

No. I was... I was only
attracted to him for like

- several minutes when I first met him.
- Okay.

But I'm attracted to everyone
when I first meet them,

and then it wore off.
It always wears off.

You should try sustaining that
for 15 years.

So you remember I have
this reading later, okay?

- So I have to leave early?
- Mm-hmm.

What's your poem about?

It's not a poem.
It's an essay.

- And it's about me.
- Ooh, shocker.

Well, I write personal essays, so
they kind of have to be about me.

And this one is about
this time in college

when I had a crush on this guy.

Turns out he's a hoarder,
so I slept in his dorm room

on top of a pile of collapsed Chinese
food boxes, like, a semester's worth.

I don't know if that sounds
really trivial to you.

It's definitely
supposed to be funny.

It's not supposed
to be super serious,

but it's also supposed to take on
bigger issues, like fear of intimacy...

What in the world could be
more trivial than intimacy?

Hmm? Is there anything real
you can write about?

What do you think would be a
real thing to write about?

I don't know.
Lots of things.

Cultural criticism.

How about years
of neglected abuse?

How about acid rain?

How about the plight
of the giant panda bear?

How about racial profiling?
How about urban sprawl?

How about divorce?
How about death?

How about death?

Death is the most fucking real.
You should write about death.

That's what you
should write about.

Explore that.
Death.

Um, Katherine, I, um...

I can't come back
to work for you.

You know that.

I do.

This is so crazy.

I feel like I want to help you.

Like, I want to be your mother,
which is insane,

'cause there's no way I could
be your mother.

Babies having babies.

But, um...
I don't need your help.

Fuck it.
I'm just gonna say this.

I bet you get into
these dramas all the time,

like with Jeff and me...

Where you cause all this trouble
and you've no idea why.

In my opinion...

You're doing it
to distract yourself

from becoming the person
you're meant to be.

Which is who?

You tell me.

She might not look like what you
pictured when you were age 16.

Her job might not be cool.

Her hair might not
be flowing like a mermaid.

And she might really be serious
about something...

Or someone.

And she might be a lot happier
than you are right now.

"It was a sight
to make you cringe,

to make you question
your own moral fiber

and fear for your
own shameful truth.

I covered my eyes..."

- Hey.
- Hi.

- You made it.
- Yeah, sorry.

I would have written you off, but
then I remembered your style...

Showing up
about 10 minutes late

and then apologizing so much
I couldn't fault you.

- I'm really sorry.
- There you go.

"And that's when Eli realized

maybe everyone in this town is
just looking for a bathroom."

"In fact, he thought, maybe everyone
in this whole damn world is."

Thank you.

Hi.
Um, I am Hannah Horvath.

Um, I don't know if we're
supposed to say our names,

but I did, so you can all deal with it.

Um, I was gonna read an essay

that I wrote about a guy
who I knew in college

who I had a crush on and then
he turned out to be a hoarder.

Um, which he didn't look like a hoarder,
but he was, in fact, a hoarder.

Uh, but I reread
the essay this morning

and it actually seemed
really stupid, so, um,

I wrote something new
on the subway on the way here,

which makes it sound like I
didn't put a lot of work into it,

but I did because we were stopped at
Canal Street for a very long time.

Okay.

"I met Igor online

in a chat room for fans
of an obscure punk band

my vegan friend, Marina, liked.

Igor's screen name
was "pyro000,"

which belied a level of articulation
unusual for an Internet boyfriend.

So he became
my Internet boyfriend

for six blissful months,

until his friend IM'd me
to say that he had died.

Died."

I really enjoyed
your piece, Sarah.

Oh, thank you so much.

Your granddad as both a
renegade and a gentleman.

- I am so glad that came through.
- Absolutely.

Ah, excuse me.

I just want to thank you.
I really liked your piece.

Oh, thank you.

- Yeah, but I have a question.
- Mm-hmm?

You know the man who's on
"To Catch a Predator"?

Well, occasionally, he
baits people who call in,

people who are lonely
or autistic.

You know, they only
go on the Internet

for company
or to learn something.

I think that's very wrong
and nobody talks about it.

That's not really a question.

I think it is.

Henry!

- Hey.
- Hi.

That was interesting.

No, it wasn't.

Well, to be honest, it didn't
really come together for me.

Which makes sense, considering I heard a
rumor that you wrote it on the subway.

- I shouldn't have done the reading.
- No, what you should have done

was read that hysterical
piece you sent me,

the one about the guy with
the room full of garbage.

That was great.
Why didn't you read that one?

Because it was trivial,

and now I seem trivial
even more so, so...

Thank you.
I'm really sorry, okay?

- Bye, Powell.
- Hey.

Hannah.

Wait, so you actually bought
Tally Schifrin's book?

It was a book party,
so I bought the book.

Well, you don't
like it, do you?

She's a really good writer.
You know? She captures something

really true about the uncertainty
of being our age. I cried twice.

Well, are you
getting your period?

You know, I'm not.
So...

What are you doing?

Just throwing out
some old clothing

I've been wanting to get
rid of for a long time.

Maybe you should
give it to charity.

I don't think poor people need
to wear my shitty old stuff

- on top of everything else.
- Well, I love that dress.

- This one?
- Yeah, I love it.

- Really?
- Don't throw that away, it's great.

You can have it.
I don't know what size it is, though.

Might be tight.

Okay.

Marnie, I did the stupidest
thing at that reading.

I'm kind of doing this
right now.

- Could we talk about it later?
- All right, yeah.

- Are you mad at me?
- No, Hannah, not at all.

'Cause you kind of
seem mad at me.

I pay all the bills
in this apartment.

Does that not give me,
like, one night off

from talking about you
and your problems?

Okay. Wow.

As it happens, I'm not always
in the mood to talk about you.

Okay. Wow.

You know, I didn't even
want to go into this,

but you pushed me like you push
everyone about everything!

- I push everyone?
- Why do you always eat my yogurt?

Don't look at me like
I just said something awful

because I really didn't.

- Oh, my God.
- You think we only talk about my problems?

- Why do you think that?
- Because we do.

That's not true, Marnie.
We only talk about your problems.

It has always been that way.
Seriously.

We talk about what's right
with Charlie, then what's wrong.

Now we talk about how you're
never gonna meet someone.

'Cause it's like
you think meeting a guy

is the main point of life, so
we have to have, like, a summit

every day to make a game plan.

Okay, you just flipped this
around in a really crazy way.

I am the one that has
the right to be mad here, okay?

I'm taking a very brave chance
discussing my feelings.

Well, you should maybe
bring things up

while they're
actually happening,

and then we could avoid these
overwrought conversations.

Then I don't want
to talk about it anymore.

- Well, I do.
- Well, now I don't.

Well, now I need closure, okay?

You are so selfish.

This is why you have
no friends from preschool.

Uh, I have a lot of friends
from preschool.

I'm just not speaking
to them right now.

No, but you judge everyone,

and yet you ask them
not to judge you.

That is because no one
could ever hate me

as much as I hate myself, okay?

So any mean thing someone's
gonna think of to say about me,

I've already said to me, about me,
probably in the last half hour!

That is bullshit,
because I could literally

think of a million mean things that
have never once occurred to you.

Oh, yeah?
Like what?

Well, I wouldn't do that.

Seriously, say one.

- Honestly, Marnie, you are so obsessed...
- Oh, my God.

...with success
and who's who

and what they have
and how they got it.

Like, I was looking at
Tally Schifrin the other night

and I thought you probably
wish she was your best friend.

It's pretty transparent.

So you can tell
everyone to tune in

and hear your best friend
on "Fresh Air."

I like being around people

- who know what they want.
- People like you?

'Cause what do you want besides a
boyfriend with a luxury rental?

Seriously, that's where
your priorities are.

You have always been this way
and now it is worse.

No, you know what?
You are worse.

I can't take you anymore.

You think that everyone in the
world is out to humiliate you.

You're like a big,
ugly fucking wound!

Adam says you are teetering on
the edge of psychotic misery,

but you're smiling so wide
that no one can tell.

- You are the wound.
- I am not the wound.

- You are the wound.
- You're the wound.

- You're the wound!
- You are the wound!

Stop saying that.
I am not a wound.

- You are a wound.
- Maybe we're over- analyzing this

and the issue is just
that I've got a boyfriend

and you don't and it's
as simple as that.

That's awesome. That is
a really, really mature way

to deal with
your fucking feelings!

I would back the fuck off
if I were you!

Oh, I'm fucking terrified.

Seriously. I mean, I'm not,
but I probably should be,

considering you've been
batshit crazy

ever since Charlie
broke up with you.

Yeah? Well, you've been crazy
since before I even met you.

You've been crazy
since middle school

when you had to masturbate
eight times a night

to stave off diseases
of the mind and body.

Okay, that is my most shameful,
painful, private secret, okay?

And it might sound like a joke,

but it is not
fucking funny to me!

And that is why I told you
not to tell anyone!

I didn't tell anyone!
I would never do that!

I am just telling you now!

I would never tell anyone that!

I am a good fucking friend!

Unlike you!
You are a bad friend!

Maybe that's not what's
important to me right now.

I don't really give a shit
about being a good friend.

I have bigger concerns.

You know what?
Thank you.

That is all I needed to hear.

I'm done.

What is that supposed to mean?

I do not want to live here
anymore, not with you.

Yeah, well,

I don't want to live
with you anymore, either,

and I am not just saying that
because you said it.

I was thinking it,
but I did not want to say it

because I am a good friend
and you are a bad friend!

- Fine!
- Great!

- Awesome!
- Very good!

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