Original subtitles

Somebody's losing a limb today.

Let's just hope it's a tree.

It's timber time.

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

My name is Daniel Petronijevic.

I'm an actor...

You ever seen the Milky Way over Lake Titicaca?

...and I've played a ton of blue collar jobs on TV.

May the welding gods be with us!

But I've always wondered,

do I have what it takes to do it in real life?

Well...

We're about to find out...

'Cause this is Blue Collar.

Trees are pretty awesome.

They give us shade, shelter to animals.

They even give us oxygen,

which is super important if you like breathing.

But sometimes they get damaged,

and when they do, they get dangerous.

And that's where Cohen & Master come in,

a full-service arborist crew that can drop full trees

and branches with surgical precision,

and they do it all while dangling

from little ropes with chainsaws.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Let's get at it. Yoo!

Tate?

Tate!

I'm looking for a guy named Tate.

- This way, this direction. - That way.

- Tate? - This way.

Okay.

This is where he is, this is the man.

Tate, here's Dan.

How are you, Tate? Good to meet you, sir.

Alright, good to have you here.

We got a big day ahead of us,

so we'll get you suited up soon

and go over some basics in the truck, all right?

Sounds good. Oh, hello, my pretty!

Do I get to run this?

We'll start with something a little smaller.

Come on! We're best friends already.

She's speaking to me...

even when she's quiet, she's pretty.

I can't wait to make her scream.

Rah-rah-rah-rah!

Let's go, we got work!

Let's get 'er on the truck!

You bringing this, what do you call here,

- the weed snipper? - Yeah, bring-

Everything in the cart's gotta go.

All right, she's coming.

I am so pumped right now.

Chainsaws, 75 foot up a tree.

Send it.

Well, we're lucky it's a beauty day, huh?

It is a gorgeous day.

No rain makes me very happy.

Right? What are all the things you gotta do?

Being an arborist,

it's a combination of so many things.

Part scientist, part doctor,

and part lumberjack.

Trees are like people, right? And not always-

Yeah, sometimes they need to be slapped!

Not always easy to figure out.

What are the possible dangers that you run into?

As soon as you get off the ground, you know,

it doesn't take very much to fall and have

a critical injury or fatality.

- Chainsaw. - Yeah.

Really easy to cut your rope.

Really easy to cut your leg.

Who knows, I could get my mullet caught

in the bloody thing and I'd be gone.

Last year alone, in 2024, 66 arborists

died in North America doing this work.

- Really, eh? - Yeah.

But this site here, we're going to be

cabling and bracing a tree.

Make it strong, ensure that it doesn't fail in a storm.

We're also going to be in injecting a tree

for beech leaf disease.

It's a really devastating disease that's

prevalent here in the city now.

Son of a beech!

We have this method of injecting a fungicide.

We're able to save the tree.

Well done, Master Tate.

Can't fucking wait.

So I'm going to head over and start setting up.

You're going to work with Tina here.

Tina, this is Dan. Dan, Tina.

- Tina, pleasure to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

So today we're checking out this beech tree.

Client was worried because they heard beech leaf disease

is going around in the neighbourhood.

Okay, well, I noticed coming down the stairs,

this one's got warts on it,

or maybe skin tags right on the trunk.

You know, it's very embarrassing.

It's a good thing we're here to take care of this.

So what the client was worried about

is beech leaf disease.

If the tree leaves have discoloration between

the veins, that's often an indication of

beech leaf disease.

This one does not have it, so that's a good thing,

which means the tree is healthy,

but we still want to treat it because

beech leaf disease is becoming more prevalent,

so we want to be more proactive about it.

Are you a tree whisperer?

I wish I could talk to them.

Unfortunately, I can't talk to them like how they

talk to each other through their roots network.

They can send signals of distress,

and they'll actually help one another by

sending more nutrients.

I'll just talk to this thing now.

I know, you sick beech.

This is what you got to do, okay?

Come caress it. I love you too, tree.

- You're gonna go a long way. - Ah...

A long...

Should I give you some space?

Believe it or not, I'm a tree humper.

I mean, hugger.

It's not telling me with words,

but I can feel that it really doesn't like that.

It loved it.

How do you think it got so many bloody warts?

I can tell you right now.

This is one nasty beech.

Oh, yes, mama.

Now we know how much to measure out

with the product. 55 centimetres.

- Tree medicine. - Yes.

We're going in straight and

we're leaving straight too.

I just found out today

that trees can talk to each other.

Let's get the hose in.

Dr. Dan is here taking care of business,

and I clearly identified a case of genital herpes

on that trunk.

We've got to give it a few injections

and suck up some juices.

Now we're just connecting the pump to

the battery, and that will start the motor.

Are they going to my nipples?

- Not this time. - Not this time.

At least she's open minded.

So we're going to inject a fungicide.

It's a systemic pesticide, you can follow it along

as it travels into the tree.

It will pull up the liquid through the trunk,

into the foliage, and provide coverage

to the whole tree.

It's almost like we're doctors.

We're going to get rid of all your herpes,

you filthy beech.

Hey, Dan, you want to climb a tree?

Do I ever, thank you.

Whoa!

You're like a superhero.

So this tree has been identified to

have a structural issue.

We've got two stems that have grown up

close to each other, and that's going to be

a weak point in a storm situation.

That's an area that can rip apart.

- That's the crotch. - You bet.

So we're going to be putting a cable in today.

By putting in this cable, we're going to hold

that upper canopy together.

We're going to secure it with washers and nuts,

pinning those two leaders together

and keeping it strong.

So in other words, right at the crotch,

we're going to put a rod in and two nuts.

That's pretty much the plan.

It's gonna be great!

Wood, ropes.

Pretty much a Saturday night at my house.

Kerplowy!

Dan, this is Rob B and this is Rob Y.

Rob B...

And Rob Y, Rob squared.

They're going to be helping us get this cable

and bracing rod in today.

So they're going to shoot up there first.

We're going to do our training and get you up

the tree to join them.

I can tell these guys are good climbers right now.

Look at how slender you are.

I don't know if a baby hippo like me

is going to be able to scamper up there.

We'll get you up there.

- Alright. - See you soon.

Safe travels, boys.

Let's see how fast this is.

Why are you doing it so fast

when I'm going to do it so slowly?

That was fast as fuck.

Bulletproof glasses: on.

Bulletproof helmet: on.

So remember, we're tree doctors.

I want you to kind of think yourself as my tree nurse.

I concur, Doctor.

There is your harness.

Yeah, that's looking good.

- This goes on like so. - Perfect.

- That goes like that. - There you go.

And give that a little tug, get you in there.

I'll give as much tug, easy now.

Just clip that closed. There you go.

- There we go. - Sit back.

Oh fuck. It's squeezing

the tip of my dick, hold it.

I might need to adjust some shit here.

Dick squeezer.

Dick squeezer.

There we go.

Lean back and try to get your feet

up high on the trunk.

We're going to use this one leg to advance you.

Bend your knee...

and slide it up, and then you're going to stand down

and you're going to pull with your arms.

There you go. Bend your knee again...

and then stand up and pull with your two arms.

Good, and you're off to the races.

There you go, Dan, you're climbing.

How does my mullet look?

That's the most important question.

Amazing. You're doing great, man.

Dan, I'm coming up to meet you.

Oh, it's going to squeeze farts out.

You better get up there.

My fucking nut is killing me.

My left one's bigger than my right one.

Get that left foot right in the crotch.

I made it to the crotch of the tree,

but it was my crotch that paying the price.

Ooh, sorry. Holy fuck!

He fucking just teabagged me!

I see what's going on up here.

That's why we brought you up here.

We're going to drill right through.

We want to keep it centred in the tree.

We want that hole lined up with the other anchor-

With that, as best as you can, I imagine.

You got it.

- There you go. - Let him finish it.

There we go.

Yeah, now all the way out.

Holy fuck. You wouldn't want

to be underneath that if it dropped.

No.

Okay, we're going to throw in the hardware now.

Gotcha. Right there, I see it.

In the holiest of holies.

She's on

Tighten 'er up.

Oh, a nice little ratchet wrench, too.

Four feet, five Inches.

This is fucking awesome.

Cool, man.

It's a different perspective.

A hundred percent.

That's what I like about it.

You get up away from the world.

You wrap one side around,

twisting it, and then the other side twist on top

and they just will clamp together.

It's going to pin those trunks together.

That will never come apart.

Never come apart.

Okay, now we can crank that baby.

Now we crank this.

There you go.

Now we're talking.

Fucking primo.

Is this high-five o'clock?

- Yeah! - All right!

Thank you, guys.

I'm one with the earth and nature.

Hanging tight! We got it done.

Cabled the tree.

It's going to be around for a long, long time.

The nut squeeze.

Now I have to go and ice my balls.

Now that you've got a big, beautiful rod

in your crotch, you'll never split.

Dan, we got to get going to the next site.

I thought that one job was done, but...

we got to get to another job.

The whole afternoon, probably more trees.

Hope some tree here says to me,

"Please cut me..." with a chainsaw.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Dan, you can't just pick up the saw and

start firing it off like that.

You're going to piss off the neighbours.

Okay, sorry.

Let's just look at the job. All right?

Yes sir. Yes sir. Sorry.

Our pruning project today, objective here,

we're going to be making some room over the pool,

allow a little more light to get in.

We don't want any branches in the swimming pool.

We don't want any of our crew members

in the swimming pool.

Alright, so let's break into our groups.

Who wants to partner with Dan?

Maybe Rob?

He can come up with me. You can come up with me.

We'll get you up. We'll get you up.

At least somebody likes me.

Let's break out and get this going on.

So it is going to be some complex rigging.

We'll set up a series of pulleys and blocks.

- Let's get up there. - Game on.

- Alright, brother. - Okay, legs and arms.

Step up with one motion.

Yeah, one more.

There you go. You're in the air.

Wee!

Just step up.

- Beautiful. - Step up, step up.

I'm coming up beside you.

There we go, there we go.

Almost there.

I felt pretty good about my climbing skills until

Rob whizzed by me like a squirrel on crystal meth.

You're a show off!

He's like a large leprechaun ninja.

Nice job getting up here.

Faster than the last time. Looked nice.

Not as baby hippo-ish this time.

Alright Dan, we're going to cut this piece.

So we're going to tie 'er up here

and secure this piece on.

Tensioning up the butt.

- Tension of the butt. - Tensing of the butt.

I'm learning all types of terminology today.

Girth, wood,

crotch, butt.

I was made for this job.

We're locked off and ready to go.

Okay, sending up the chainsaw.

The saw is coming! Give it to me, give it to me.

Chainsaw coming up!

Please let me do this! Please! Please!

I think I'll take this one, Dan.

You can cut the next one.

Sh! What's that?

You'd like me and only me to cut everything?

Rob, she wants me to cut everything, okay?

She doesn't know what's good for her.

Her body, her choice, okay?

Let's start cranking.

Get it nice and high.

Easy, easy...

Keep cranking, let's go.

Walk it towards the house.

- That's it... - Beautiful, guys.

Keep pulling, keep pulling.

Keep pulling, nice!

- Good job, guys! - Good job!

We did it! We did- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Like, I understand that we're trying to save the

trees and everything, and I love trees.

But I just kind of want to just...

if it's not too much to ask, like just...

just get a chainsaw and

maybe cut one of their arms off.

Is it my turn?

No, I think we'll use a handsaw for the next one.

Come on!

How many trees do I got to climb

before I get my hands on a chainsaw?

What? I got to use this piece of crap?

Oh...

She's pretty nice. I think you'll like her.

- Daddy likey. - Yeah.

Choppy chop choppy.

Alright Dan, you ready to cut a branch?

Yes, sir.

We're gonna do a speed line here.

Okay, let's do it.

We're gonna girth on this sling,

attach it to the rope, and we're going to zip

this branch right across the pool.

Slow and controlled on ropes.

What branch?

The one you're standing on.

See how she's overhanging the pool here?

Yes sir. Girth it on.

Girth it on.

Swinging. Good, swinging it.

And then, here, you can clip that

on to that end of the rope.

Gotcha.

Primo, girth's hitched on.

- Perfect. - God, that's sharp.

She's sharp, baby. Yeah... You got 'er.

Oh, I can see it snapping.

She's starting to snap. Stand clear!

- All clear! - Snafooey!

Snafooey!

Boom, baby! Woo!

- I chop you! - Good job, Dan!

Thank you, Tate!

Alright, let's hit the ground.

There's two ways I can think to

get out of this tree.

One is the pool. Daddy likey!

I think we use the rope.

Alright, fun wrecker.

Look at this.

It's a fucking callous, okay.

This is what a man gets from working all day with power.

I haven't had one of these on my hands

since I was 13 years old.

Hello again, my friend.

All right, first things first,

watch out for your mullet.

You don't want that caught in there.

Tell you what, you watch out for your beard.

I'll watch out for the mullet.

- Sounds good. - Sounds good.

Let's send it, brother. Let's send it!

Amigo, pick up the tree.

Follow me, follow me.

Okay, Eduardo.

Almost there, almost there.

Keep digging.

Keep digging, yeah.

But you're doing great, my friend.

Beautiful!

Amigo, let's do it.

I'm hot! Hot!

I am fucking hot.

- Ugh. - I mean, honestly man, what is the point?

What...

is the point of having a beautiful

swimming pool like this...

and not being able to go in it?

It's fucking madness.

Where are we going now?

- That's it for now. - That's it for the day.

- That's it for the day? - That's it for the day.

- That's it for the day? - That's it.

We're going swimming, come on!

Come on, come on, come on!

Come on, come on! Come on!

We can fucking finally go! - No, Dan, no!

How come you guys aren't in?

What the fuck you guys waiting for?

Ah, Tate...

which one of you guys fucking pushed me in?

Come on, Dan. Let's get out of the pool.

Agh! Ow!

- Ah! - Woo, alright!

Victory is mine.

See you tomorrow at 6:00 AM, Dan.

What? 6:00 AM?

Well, it's a whole new day and a whole new job,

and I've turned over a new leaf.

So, we can see we've got decay at

the base of the tree. We've got dead tops.

And with the proximity to the house,

this tree is very hazardous and beyond saving.

Hopefully today's the day they're finally going to

let me have a chainsaw and let her eat.

Rah!

We'll see. Chop the fucker down.

Give me a chainsaw,

I'll have the thing down in five minutes. 1, 2, 3.

Bust it up on the ground and we're out of here.

Out by lunch.

She's a little big for that.

We'll bring it down in small pieces.

We can even get the crane on it.

We'll get the big toys going.

Money.

Here she goes. Timber, boys!

Wow!

- Clear? - Clear!

Oh, it's a big boy!

Holy fuck!

Why are we even using it?

Why don't we just keep cutting it like we did?

Because it's a lot safer when you secure the piece

with this link.

I see, 'cause they're getting bigger

and heavier, right?

Exactly and it's very close to the house,

so we█re taking it down.

- Hasta la tree-sta? - Let's do it.

Wow.

Ha-ha, I love this job.

Dan, you want to get this one a shot?

You talking to me, like... me?

You got this, buddy, you got this.

She's yours, she's yours.

Oh, yeah, ha! Thanks, brother.

Yes!

Alright, I'm just going to start the thing like this.

- Hold that. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, hey, hey.

Do I know which way to point it? Yes, sir.

Dan's using the chainsaw on the ground.

He's proved himself.

He's proved he can handle it there.

Oh baby!

I think we'll give him an opportunity to use it

up the tree and make a bigger cut.

Na-na-nah!

Na-na-na-na-na-nah!

No, no, no, no, yes.

Okay, Dan, you ready to do this?

You're going to head up the tree.

This is a big moment.

Ha-ha! You're damn right I am, Tate.

Thank you so much!

This is going to be great.

The tree gods have shined upon me!

This goes like so...

And underneath, perfect.

That's exactly right.

And now tighten it up,

I would say probably about six inches.

That's it, nice.

Look out below!

Watch out for falling timber.

You're going to be a long drop.

He is four feet off the ground.

You shut off over there.

Okay, a little bit more.

I'd take one more step,

and you're almost in a good work position.

Good work on the spurs.

Dan's doing a great job.

He's working the rope and he's got the chainsaw.

We're running the crane...

so it's a pretty intimidating situation.

Oh yeah!

So, so far, so good.

Almost there.

- She gone! - Woo!

Yeah!

- Here we go, baby! - Oh, yeah!

That's great, Dan.

Honestly, fucking impressive.

- Fucking great. - Yeah.

Did you guys just see that?

Everything these arborists work with

can kill you in a second!

Chainsaws, ropes and pulleys, winches,

cranes, chippers, stump removers.

You could be dead in the blink of an eye,

but they do it every day-

safely, responsibly, and professionally.

One thing's for sure: this work is exhausting.

Actually, I think I'm going to go have a nap.

I don't give a shit anyways.

- Dan...? - What's with this guy?

Dan?

You in there, bud?

- Hey, guys. - Come on, man.

We got more work to do.

We have more work to do?

Somebody must have thrown something at me,

knocked me out or something.

Ooh, hi. Sorry I had a nap.

Well, Dan, when you started here,

we thought you were pretty prickly.

Little difficult to work with.

Kind of like a black locust.

I really admire the passion that

you bring to the job.

Dan, at first I was a little scared of you,

but you ended up being amazing.

Uniquely beautiful, like a ginkgo.

You're a ginkgo too.

Dan, you're like tree heaven.

Very invasive... but beautiful.

Thank you so much.

We have a little surprise for you.

Come on.

We're going to be planting a tree

in your honour... - Really?

...to commemorate the work that you did.

What kind of tree is it?

We have a beautiful flowering lilac

that we're going to put in.

Really?

That was my grandmother's favourite.

Well, there you go.

Eduardo, should we get this going?

Here we go, amigo.

Why are you giving me a shovel?

I'm not digging my own grave for you guys to

bury me in it, are you?

It does look bad.

Tell you what?

We'll make it a little easier for you.

We've got another tool that

you can use instead of the shovel.

How about we bust out the air spade?

Let's fucking bust 'er out.

- No, no, no, - That's on, my friend.

Hey!

A little bit more!

Grow good, Muriel.

Naming it after my grandma.

I think she's good.

That's about as fucking awesome as you can get.

High five. Yeah!

Thanks, guys. That was awesome.

- Nice work, man. - Cheers, guys.

Take care.

You grow good.

Love you, Grandma.

Hey! Fuck, wait up.

I gotta get a ride with you!

Yous guys like my bush?