Original subtitles

Ready! - Yeah, okay, coming.

Supposedly, if it's high, then it's a girl,

and if it's low then it's a boy.

Okay, that makes sense.

So, what do you think about Anjli for a girl?

Really?

I mean, yeah, I love that name. - Yeah?

But do you think your parents would be okay with it?

Well, it's not up to them.

Hey, Kir!

Hey!

My god, I'll be damned! Ellie... Stewart.

Come here. - Hi!

How are you? What a surprise.

What are you doing around here?

Um... yeah, I'm doing a 10K, training for the marathon.

Wow, okay!

Um... er, sorry, this is my boyfriend, Varun.

Varun, hi! Kiran, great to meet you.

You too, yeah.

Um, you are...

Er, yes, yeah, five months.

Wow, amazing.

It's mine.

Um, listen, I... I better keep going. - Yeah, yeah.

But... yeah, so good to see you.

And send my love to your Mum.

Yeah. Yeah, good old Mumji.

Yeah, that was weird.

Who was that?

That was Kir.

Kiran who?

Kiran, my ex-boyfriend.

Right.

I... Sorry, I thought he was called Ciaran, you know,

like the Irish name, Ciaran.

No, Kiran.

Anyway, I ordered that cot from Baby World.

You never told me he was Indian. Huh.

Mmm?

Kiran.

Mmm?

Is that relevant?

He's Indian, I'm Indian. Huh!

You're very different.

Varun?

Yeah, sorry. I'll share them with you right now.

Um... one second. Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

What a day.

I'm going to be finished in like ten minutes.

Okay.

Are you up for a takeaway?

Yeah.

What do you feel like?

I really fancy an Indian.

What? - Are you serious?

Yeah. Been craving a korma all day.

Have you ever dated any other Indian guys?

I was talking about takeaway.

It's a yes/no question.

Yes.

Right.

Okay, this is a minor miracle.

I've actually used the right number of screws for this bit.

How many?

I think it was eight flatheads.

No, how many Indian guys?

For fuck sake!

What? - Is it really any of your business?

It's just a question.

I'm just interested in your life.

Okay, four.

Four? - Yeah!

Including me?

No, four plus you.

Where did you meet them all?

Can we just get this finished before your parents arrive?

Thank you for bringing this pasta, you really didn't need to.

It was nothing, it's Jamie Oliver.

Is it chicken?

No, baby, it's a chicken substitute.

Ellie is vegetarian, remember?

It tastes like chicken.

Er, not too spicy for you, is it?

No, I love a bit of spice.

That's good.

You can get the little one started early.

Yeah, how is the baby room coming along?

Um... yes, it's getting there.

It's all good, yeah.

You have a beautiful home, beta.

Thank you, Mumjii.

It really does taste like chicken.

Yeah, well you carry on like that,

you're gonna end up looking more pregnant than she is, darling.

That was so nice.

Yeah, it was great.

Your mum is gonna be an amazing grandma.

Yeah, Mumji number five.

Come on.

What? - You're obsessed.

What?

No, you're obsessed.

With what?

With... with India.

How am I obsessed with India?

You've had four Indian exes.

So...?

Four, plus me. That's five Indian guys.

Well, what about your exes?

What about them?

How many of them were blonde white girls?

One.

Well, one plus me, that's two,

that's a pattern.

No, no, no. Two's not a pattern.

Three is a pattern,

and five is a racial fetish!

Wow, okay.

Okay, so fine. So maybe I like guys that look like you.

What's so wrong with that?

It's... racist.

How is it racist if I like you?

Because it's clearly not about me!

I'm your girlfriend!

Okay, okay. Um, but before you met me, did you or did you not know

that your next boyfriend would be Indian?

It... what... I might have had some idea.

Ahaa, yeah.

Yeah, shockingly, I didn't snog you at Martini Nights

because of your personality,

just like you spent that whole night looking down my top!

So what?

Would you rather we just didn't fancy each other?

Of course not, but why Indian guys?

It's not just Indian guys.

I went out with a Japanese guy at uni.

I slept with two Brazilian guys in my gap year...

not at the same time, but wha... wha... whatever.

I went out with a guy who's very, very Scottish!

I just... I like people who are different from me.

Why is that such a crime?

But five?

Look, I'm sorry, but we're having a baby, and I need to know

that you love me for being me, not just because you love a bit of spice.

Can you listen to what I'm saying?

I love you.

Why did I fall in love with you? I don't know.

Maybe it's about me

and that stupid xenophobic village that I grew up in.

Maybe this is all some pathetic rebellion so I don't turn into my parents.

Maybe it is weird and racist. Maybe you're right.

I'm sorry, it's just...

I've literally never called her "Mumji."

What do you actually want?

What do you mean?

We got pregnant by accident.

I could be just as scared that you don't want to be with me.

Of course, I do.

Really?

You're the one who's suddenly questioning everything.

Are you sure you don't wish you ended up with an Indian girl?

This one's for Rosalind.

Who is it from?

It's from me, it's from us.

Yeah. - Darling, thank you.

It's beautiful, sweetheart.

Are you going to have an Indian wedding?

Er... well, we haven't... we haven't really talked about that yet.

And we'll consult you on everything.

Good!

This is for Varun. Quite heavy.

Goodness. Thank you.

I wasn't expecting such a big present.

Well, I know I've been a bit of a stick in the mud and all that,

but water under the bridge?

Welcome to the family.

Thank you.

There's a zip up there.

Yeah, you got it.

So you can join us on the shoot.

You never forget your first grouse.

You certainly don't.

Jervaulx, '81.

Pop, bang, first shot.

He's a great shot.

Take it out. Bang.

Hi. - Hi.

Sorry, I'm a bit early.

Okay. It's fine. She's awake.

I'll, um... I'll go and get her.

Thanks.

Are you seeing anyone?

I... no. Why?

I am, um, seeing someone, I mean...

Yeah, I just... I thought you should know because, um, he's going to be around.

Has he met um...?

Yeah. Is that okay?

Yeah, of course.

I mean, it's a bit weird, you know,

having a stranger basically raising my daughter, but um...

I know, um...

He's actually here, if you...

...if you want to meet him.

Er... yeah, sure.

Okay.

Who's here?

Hi! - Who's here?

Hi, baba, hi.

Hey, you must be Varun. I'm James.

Hi, yeah.

Yeah, I just wanted to meet, you know, to clear the air.

I know, it's weird, but um...

I really love Ell,

and I hope I'm going to be around for the long run,

so... yeah.

Cool. Well, er...

...good to meet you.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, we can chat more another time.

Definitely.

Yeah.

He seems perfect for you.

So were you.

Anyway, um, here we go.

It's okay. It's okay.

Love you, sweetheart. Aww!

Here. - Thanks.

Do you want, um, you know?

No, I should...