Original subtitles

What's up, nummy nom nuts? I'm Ryan

What's up, nummy nom nuts? I'm Ryan

What's up, nummy nom nuts? I'm Ryan Chang

Chang

Chang >> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports

>> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports

>> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports Ward, the show where we are legally not

Ward, the show where we are legally not

Ward, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

allowed to agree with each other.

allowed to agree with each other. >> So, if I say volleyball is the most

>> So, if I say volleyball is the most

>> So, if I say volleyball is the most exciting sport,

exciting sport,

exciting sport, >> then I say screw that. I can't even look

>> then I say screw that. I can't even look

>> then I say screw that. I can't even look at a volleyball without crying ever

at a volleyball without crying ever

at a volleyball without crying ever since I got straight on that island and

since I got straight on that island and

since I got straight on that island and my only friend was a volleyball.

my only friend was a volleyball.

my only friend was a volleyball. >> I keep telling you, Michael, you're

>> I keep telling you, Michael, you're

>> I keep telling you, Michael, you're confusing your life with Tom Hanks

confusing your life with Tom Hanks

confusing your life with Tom Hanks movies.

movies.

movies. >> So, I don't have AIDS and live in

>> So, I don't have AIDS and live in

>> So, I don't have AIDS and live in Philadelphia.

Philadelphia.

Philadelphia. That's a relief. I hate Philadelphia.

That's a relief. I hate Philadelphia.

That's a relief. I hate Philadelphia. >> Let's start things off with the 10

>> Let's start things off with the 10

>> Let's start things off with the 10 greatest words in sports. March Madness

greatest words in sports. March Madness

greatest words in sports. March Madness buzzer beater. Wow, that was some crazy

buzzer beater. Wow, that was some crazy

>> What a moment.

>> What a moment.

>> What a moment. >> Tosses it out.

>> Tosses it out.

>> Tosses it out. >> It's the ultimate buzzer beater in the

>> It's the ultimate buzzer beater in the

>> It's the ultimate buzzer beater in the final seconds of Duke versus Yukon. And

final seconds of Duke versus Yukon. And

final seconds of Duke versus Yukon. And it's certain to go down as one of the

it's certain to go down as one of the

it's certain to go down as one of the greatest shots of all time. The

greatest shots of all time. The

greatest shots of all time. The announcers were left stunned into

announcers were left stunned into

announcers were left stunned into silence

silence

silence >> and Duke fans left in shock as that shot

>> and Duke fans left in shock as that shot

>> and Duke fans left in shock as that shot from the logo goes in.

from the logo goes in.

from the logo goes in. >> That's right. Suck it, Blue Devils.

>> What a Cinderella story to see Duke, a

>> What a Cinderella story to see Duke, a

>> What a Cinderella story to see Duke, a school of spoil rich kids, lose to

school of spoil rich kids, lose to

school of spoil rich kids, lose to Connecticut, a state of spoiled rich

Connecticut, a state of spoiled rich

Connecticut, a state of spoiled rich kids.

kids.

kids. >> Hey Duke players, enjoy making millions

>> Hey Duke players, enjoy making millions

>> Hey Duke players, enjoy making millions when you move on to the NBA, you losers.

when you move on to the NBA, you losers.

when you move on to the NBA, you losers. I'm telling you, Costa, those final 10

I'm telling you, Costa, those final 10

I'm telling you, Costa, those final 10 seconds were the best in March Madness

seconds were the best in March Madness

seconds were the best in March Madness history.

history.

history. >> Who gives a about the last 10

>> Who gives a about the last 10

>> Who gives a about the last 10 seconds? That's all I care about is the

seconds? That's all I care about is the

seconds? That's all I care about is the first 10 seconds. That's all I can

first 10 seconds. That's all I can

first 10 seconds. That's all I can handle. Ever since my attention span was

handle. Ever since my attention span was

handle. Ever since my attention span was ruined by what doctors call the Mr.

ruined by what doctors call the Mr.

ruined by what doctors call the Mr. Beastification of my brain.

Beastification of my brain.

Beastification of my brain. Costa, you The buzzle beater is a

Costa, you The buzzle beater is a

Costa, you The buzzle beater is a rare wonder in sports. You almost never

rare wonder in sports. You almost never

rare wonder in sports. You almost never see it. It's like watching Tiger Woods

see it. It's like watching Tiger Woods

see it. It's like watching Tiger Woods safely drive a car. This

safely drive a car. This

safely drive a car. This >> you never see it. This moment was peak

>> you never see it. This moment was peak

>> you never see it. This moment was peak March Madness.

March Madness.

March Madness. >> Disagree, Ron. The true March Madness is

>> Disagree, Ron. The true March Madness is

>> Disagree, Ron. The true March Madness is the fact that we all spend all month

the fact that we all spend all month

the fact that we all spend all month watching men's basketball instead of

watching men's basketball instead of

watching men's basketball instead of honoring Women's History Month.

honoring Women's History Month.

honoring Women's History Month. >> Oh my god. Here we go.

>> Oh my god. Here we go.

>> Oh my god. Here we go. >> HEY.

>> HEY.

>> HEY. >> HEY. HEY. What gives society?

>> HEY. HEY. What gives society?

>> HEY. HEY. What gives society? Well, I love basketball. There's nothing

Well, I love basketball. There's nothing

Well, I love basketball. There's nothing I love more than celebrating the

I love more than celebrating the

I love more than celebrating the remarkable work of all of history's

remarkable work of all of history's

remarkable work of all of history's greatest AND HOES.

greatest AND HOES.

greatest AND HOES. In fact, just after Tip Off, I threw on

In fact, just after Tip Off, I threw on

In fact, just after Tip Off, I threw on a fascinating documentary about a

a fascinating documentary about a

a fascinating documentary about a stepmom who walked in on her

stepmom who walked in on her

stepmom who walked in on her stepdaughter totally mangling this tug

stepdaughter totally mangling this tug

stepdaughter totally mangling this tug job. Talk about a crazy final 10

job. Talk about a crazy final 10

job. Talk about a crazy final 10 seconds.

seconds.

seconds. Which brings us to our final force game

Which brings us to our final force game

Which brings us to our final force game better tonight. How will the Duke Blue

better tonight. How will the Duke Blue

better tonight. How will the Duke Blue Devil numb the pain? Brought to you by

Devil numb the pain? Brought to you by

Devil numb the pain? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. So easy a cave woman

gambling. Gambling. So easy a cave woman

gambling. Gambling. So easy a cave woman can do it.

can do it.

can do it. Let's move on from the unbeatable

Let's move on from the unbeatable

Let's move on from the unbeatable excitement of basketball to the beatable

excitement of basketball to the beatable

excitement of basketball to the beatable excitement of baseball. Everyone loves

excitement of baseball. Everyone loves

excitement of baseball. Everyone loves yelling at the umpire. It's the best way

yelling at the umpire. It's the best way

yelling at the umpire. It's the best way to compensate for whatever's going on at

to compensate for whatever's going on at

to compensate for whatever's going on at home. And it's about to even get better.

home. And it's about to even get better.

home. And it's about to even get better. For the first time in the history of the

For the first time in the history of the

For the first time in the history of the sport, Major League Baseball, players

sport, Major League Baseball, players

sport, Major League Baseball, players who disagree with a called ball or

who disagree with a called ball or

who disagree with a called ball or strike will have something they can do

strike will have something they can do

strike will have something they can do other than holler and kick dirt. The new

other than holler and kick dirt. The new

other than holler and kick dirt. The new automated ball strike challenge system,

automated ball strike challenge system,

automated ball strike challenge system, also known as ABS. The pitcher, catcher,

also known as ABS. The pitcher, catcher,

also known as ABS. The pitcher, catcher, or hitter can challenge an umpire's call

or hitter can challenge an umpire's call

or hitter can challenge an umpire's call immediately after a pitch just by

immediately after a pitch just by

immediately after a pitch just by tapping their head. God damn it. What is

tapping their head. God damn it. What is

tapping their head. God damn it. What is happening to the sport I've known and

happening to the sport I've known and

happening to the sport I've known and loved ever since Asians got good at it

loved ever since Asians got good at it

loved ever since Asians got good at it like three seasons ago. If

like three seasons ago. If

like three seasons ago. If if drunk fans can get angry at the

if drunk fans can get angry at the

if drunk fans can get angry at the umpire, they'll need to find new things

umpire, they'll need to find new things

umpire, they'll need to find new things to get mad about. Like, I don't know,

to get mad about. Like, I don't know,

to get mad about. Like, I don't know, Mr. and Mrs. Met's incestuous marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. Met's incestuous marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. Met's incestuous marriage. I mean, they're clearly siblings.

I mean, they're clearly siblings.

I mean, they're clearly siblings. Let me just ask you, what would Babe

Let me just ask you, what would Babe

Let me just ask you, what would Babe Ruth say if he saw what baseball's

Ruth say if he saw what baseball's

Ruth say if he saw what baseball's become?

become?

become? >> He'd probably say, "Hey, what happened

>> He'd probably say, "Hey, what happened

>> He'd probably say, "Hey, what happened to all the really fat guys playing

to all the really fat guys playing

to all the really fat guys playing baseball?"

baseball?"

baseball?" Regardless, this replay system is great.

Regardless, this replay system is great.

Regardless, this replay system is great. What's so wrong with giving umpires some

What's so wrong with giving umpires some

What's so wrong with giving umpires some extra help? Their job is incredibly

extra help? Their job is incredibly

extra help? Their job is incredibly difficult. I mean, do you know how hard

difficult. I mean, do you know how hard

difficult. I mean, do you know how hard it is to watch an entire baseball game?

it is to watch an entire baseball game?

it is to watch an entire baseball game? >> Oh, please. Come on. LAUGHING FOR ME.

>> Oh, please. Come on. LAUGHING FOR ME.

>> Oh, please. Come on. LAUGHING FOR ME. >> Where's the humanity in sports? Let

>> Where's the humanity in sports? Let

>> Where's the humanity in sports? Let umpires make mistakes. Mistakes are part

umpires make mistakes. Mistakes are part

umpires make mistakes. Mistakes are part of the game. It's like when a player

of the game. It's like when a player

of the game. It's like when a player drops a popfly or takes too many

drops a popfly or takes too many

drops a popfly or takes too many steroids and tries to kill the bad boy.

steroids and tries to kill the bad boy.

steroids and tries to kill the bad boy. It's why we watch the game.

It's why we watch the game.

It's why we watch the game. >> Uh, I'd like to challenge that take.

>> Uh, I'd like to challenge that take.

>> Uh, I'd like to challenge that take. Let's go to the replay.

Let's go to the replay.

Let's go to the replay. >> I'm stupid.

>> I'm stupid.

>> I'm stupid. >> Wow. Wow. The tape don't lie, Ronnie. Of

>> Wow. Wow. The tape don't lie, Ronnie. Of

>> Wow. Wow. The tape don't lie, Ronnie. Of course, the new ball and strike

course, the new ball and strike

course, the new ball and strike challenge system isn't the only upgrade

challenge system isn't the only upgrade

challenge system isn't the only upgrade the major leagues are getting this year.

the major leagues are getting this year.

the major leagues are getting this year. With the new season, new foods are

With the new season, new foods are

With the new season, new foods are coming to ballparks across the country.

coming to ballparks across the country.

coming to ballparks across the country. >> A whole host of new food items this

>> A whole host of new food items this

>> A whole host of new food items this year, including the Behemoth Bat Flip. 2

year, including the Behemoth Bat Flip. 2

year, including the Behemoth Bat Flip. 2 lbs of meat and onions and egg. And holy

lbs of meat and onions and egg. And holy

lbs of meat and onions and egg. And holy moly,

moly,

moly, >> the bases loaded nachos. They come in a

>> the bases loaded nachos. They come in a

>> the bases loaded nachos. They come in a gallonized bucket. The Gazilla. It's a

gallonized bucket. The Gazilla. It's a

gallonized bucket. The Gazilla. It's a 2ft oneb hot dog.

2ft oneb hot dog.

2ft oneb hot dog. >> For the fans of the Marlins this year,

>> For the fans of the Marlins this year,

>> For the fans of the Marlins this year, we have the machete. It's a housemade

we have the machete. It's a housemade

we have the machete. It's a housemade twoft quesadilla.

twoft quesadilla.

twoft quesadilla. >> Finally, a two-ft long quesadilla to go

>> Finally, a two-ft long quesadilla to go

>> Finally, a two-ft long quesadilla to go to town on. And I don't even have to buy

to town on. And I don't even have to buy

to town on. And I don't even have to buy it. I can just wait for the guy next to

it. I can just wait for the guy next to

it. I can just wait for the guy next to me to die halfway through and eat his.

me to die halfway through and eat his.

me to die halfway through and eat his. This

This

This This is a great reminder that baseball

This is a great reminder that baseball

This is a great reminder that baseball is so much more than a game. It's really

is so much more than a game. It's really

is so much more than a game. It's really about a father and a son going down to

about a father and a son going down to

about a father and a son going down to the ballpark together, grabbing a gallon

the ballpark together, grabbing a gallon

the ballpark together, grabbing a gallon of nachos, and four feet worth of hot

of nachos, and four feet worth of hot

of nachos, and four feet worth of hot dog meat. and then obliterating two

dog meat. and then obliterating two

dog meat. and then obliterating two toilets at the exact same time. That's a

toilets at the exact same time. That's a

toilets at the exact same time. That's a core memory if I ever heard one. Miss

core memory if I ever heard one. Miss

core memory if I ever heard one. Miss you, Pops. Are you kidding me? This food

you, Pops. Are you kidding me? This food

you, Pops. Are you kidding me? This food is disgusting. Plus, why buy food at a

is disgusting. Plus, why buy food at a

is disgusting. Plus, why buy food at a stadium when there's so many free peanut

stadium when there's so many free peanut

stadium when there's so many free peanut shells lying on the ground? Hey, you

shells lying on the ground? Hey, you

shells lying on the ground? Hey, you sneaking in some noodles and an egg. You

sneaking in some noodles and an egg. You

sneaking in some noodles and an egg. You guys a pot thai.

guys a pot thai.

guys a pot thai. Well, that brings us to our tough clench

Well, that brings us to our tough clench

Well, that brings us to our tough clench bet of the week. Which major league

bet of the week. Which major league

bet of the week. Which major league stadium plumbing will explode first?

stadium plumbing will explode first?

stadium plumbing will explode first? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling.

Brought to you by gambling. Gambling.

Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. When you're sliding into first and you

When you're sliding into first and you

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst. Gambling. Well,

feel something burst. Gambling. Well,

feel something burst. Gambling. Well, that's all the time we have on Sports.

that's all the time we have on Sports.

that's all the time we have on Sports. Join us next time when we debate if

Join us next time when we debate if

Join us next time when we debate if there's crying in baseball. And as I

there's crying in baseball. And as I

there's crying in baseball. And as I told that chick on the Rockford Peaches,

told that chick on the Rockford Peaches,

told that chick on the Rockford Peaches, no. You're not happy.

no. You're not happy.

no. You're not happy. >> You know what you're talking about. How

>> You know what you're talking about. How

>> You know what you're talking about. How many

many

many coach?