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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:14,773 [hooves clopping] 4 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:18,777 [suspenseful orchestral music] 5 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:29,684 [unsettling electronic music] 6 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:37,347 Howdy, folks. 7 00:00:37,382 --> 00:00:39,142 Bob is the name. 8 00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:42,387 What brings y'all to my humble abode of gasoline? 9 00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:44,941 Don't see too many city slickers out here. 10 00:00:44,975 --> 00:00:48,255 For all you know, we just a few corn-fed hicks stopping 11 00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:50,015 in from a few towns over. 12 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,606 Boys, stop giving this handsome man a hard time. 13 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,781 Why, you know, you're sweeter than vanilla honey sticks. 14 00:00:57,816 --> 00:00:59,024 [groans] 15 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,508 Hey, Sandy. 16 00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,717 What's that odor? 17 00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,926 When was your last bathroom break? 18 00:01:04,961 --> 00:01:06,721 Let's change, clean you up. 19 00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:10,932 Just an accident, accident. 20 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:18,319 We figured that a trip out here could jog mom's memory. 21 00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:22,151 She spent a lot of time when she was young out here. 22 00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:25,257 And we need her to remember. 23 00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:27,328 It's a big one. 24 00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,640 Oh, look! 25 00:01:28,674 --> 00:01:30,366 It's my lucky day. 26 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,991 Oh, I just found peanuts, pink peanuts I wonder, 27 00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:39,996 is this one unsalted or is this one spicy? 28 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:42,067 [groans] Ooh, that's spicy. 29 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,484 [groans] I'm gonna need some more. 30 00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:48,211 No, no, no, you can't do this. 31 00:01:48,246 --> 00:01:50,110 [moaning] 32 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,767 I'm glad everybody was wearing nose plugs. 33 00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:55,149 What y'all doing out here? Hey, y'all got cameras and shit? 34 00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,116 What's up? 35 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,427 Small P in the motherfucking house! 36 00:01:57,462 --> 00:01:58,877 Small P! 37 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,050 Come on over here. 38 00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:01,431 Cut, cut, cut, cut! 39 00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:02,536 What's up, baby. 40 00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:04,054 Oh my god, it's been forever. 41 00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:04,848 Sit down. 42 00:02:04,883 --> 00:02:06,678 Excuse me, gentlemen. 43 00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,957 Jim, it's very exciting that you are visiting with your Little P 44 00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:10,751 here. 45 00:02:10,785 --> 00:02:11,924 We're burning daylight. 46 00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:13,892 We need to get the fucking show on the road. 47 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,618 You can talk to him another time. 48 00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:17,275 Who the fuck is Small P? 49 00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:19,691 Everybody know who the fuck Small P is. 50 00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:22,072 Jim, if we keep wasting time like this every day, 51 00:02:22,107 --> 00:02:23,764 we're never going to get anything done. 52 00:02:23,798 --> 00:02:25,110 I quit. 53 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,561 All you care about is these homeboys here and smoking 54 00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,010 that stinking peace pipe. 55 00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:30,840 I'm not your homeboy. 56 00:02:30,874 --> 00:02:32,186 He used to be a good director. 57 00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:34,154 And now he's just a gamer. 58 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,569 - No, no. - I'm going home. 59 00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:36,501 No, you-- you cannot. 60 00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:37,640 I'm out of here! 61 00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:38,572 I'm out of here! - No. 62 00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:39,849 I want to go home! 63 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:40,919 I want to go home! 64 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,092 Mom, mom, mom, mom. 65 00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:42,921 Mom, please. 66 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,681 You can't lose your home, Mom. 67 00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:46,062 You gotta do this. - I'm sorry. 68 00:02:46,096 --> 00:02:47,028 What's going on here? 69 00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:47,891 I'm sorry. 70 00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:48,927 I'm sorry, Jim. 71 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,928 I'll be good. 72 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,136 No, I-- I'll be good. 73 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,793 No, I'll do what you want. 74 00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:53,966 Yeah, I sorry. 75 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:54,760 I sorry. 76 00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:55,968 Come on. 77 00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,660 CREW MEMBER: Come on, come on, everybody! 78 00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,075 We need to get rolling! 79 00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,559 We're losing daylight! 80 00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:01,905 Let's get back to work! 81 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,597 Ah, come on! 82 00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:04,874 Damn! 83 00:03:04,908 --> 00:03:07,083 You still think taking this job in the classifieds 84 00:03:07,117 --> 00:03:08,222 was a smart move? 85 00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:10,431 It's like a jackass factory out there. 86 00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,813 I bet you not one of these idiots can even do a kickflip. 87 00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:13,952 You want to save the shop, right? 88 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,367 - Yeah. - OK. 89 00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:18,888 [exciting punk music] 90 00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:26,861 [skateboard clacking] 91 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:29,070 Yes! 92 00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:30,348 Yes! 93 00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:31,383 Yes! 94 00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:34,006 This will be a great fucking day. 95 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,008 [body thuds] 96 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:41,428 [exciting punk music] 97 00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:04,140 [body thuds] 98 00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:12,252 HOWARD: [sighs] [groans] Yeah! 99 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,322 Come on! 100 00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:15,772 Get on that horse! 101 00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:20,708 [imitating electric guitar] Yeah! 102 00:04:20,743 --> 00:04:21,709 Woo! 103 00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:22,848 Come on! 104 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:25,851 [ominous orchestral music] 105 00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:28,889 [choir harmonizing] 106 00:04:36,414 --> 00:04:39,624 Carissa, give me a $1! 107 00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:40,521 Give me a $1! 108 00:04:40,556 --> 00:04:41,833 I need a $1! 109 00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,076 Armpit farts using a sock puppet is not an instrument. 110 00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:45,837 What's up, asshats? 111 00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,217 What's up? 112 00:04:47,252 --> 00:04:50,497 And what brings the two of you out here on this fine day? 113 00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:54,466 Did I hear someone say something about armpit fart? 114 00:04:54,501 --> 00:04:55,329 Yay! 115 00:04:55,364 --> 00:04:56,192 Armpit farts! 116 00:04:56,226 --> 00:04:56,986 Armpit farts! 117 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,125 [armpit tooting] 118 00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:58,953 Carissa! 119 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,062 My hand's all fucked up, man. 120 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:04,856 What are you doing? 121 00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:07,583 [armpit tooting] 122 00:05:07,617 --> 00:05:08,515 [groaning] 123 00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:09,585 - [screams] - Oh my god! 124 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:10,413 Ah! 125 00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:12,208 [screaming] 126 00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:14,210 Oh, it burns! 127 00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:15,625 My hole! My poor little hole! 128 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:16,523 [screams] 129 00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:18,007 [flesh crackling] 130 00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:21,976 [groaning] 131 00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:23,461 [armpit tooting] 132 00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:24,427 Oh! 133 00:05:24,462 --> 00:05:26,395 [screams] 134 00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:29,329 [suspenseful orchestral music] 135 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,748 [fluid plopping, sloshing] 136 00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:40,132 [body thuds] 137 00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:46,000 Mm! 138 00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:47,312 That's good bum juice. 139 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:57,011 [slurping] [gargling] Best batch yet. 140 00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:57,840 What the! 141 00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:01,291 Hey! 142 00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:02,983 Hey! 143 00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:05,088 What do you think you're doing, you little turd bird? 144 00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:06,262 KURT: Nothing! Nothing! 145 00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:07,919 Hasn't anybody ever told you it's rude to watch? 146 00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:08,713 KURT: No, no! 147 00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:09,541 [whimpers] 148 00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:10,680 No free shows! 149 00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:12,130 You hear me? - I'm not looking! 150 00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,338 I'm not watching! I'm not watching anything. 151 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,270 No free shows. 152 00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:15,444 I got big plans for you. KURT: No! 153 00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:16,237 No! No, no! 154 00:06:16,272 --> 00:06:17,066 No! - [grunts] 155 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,138 KURT: [screams] What are those? 156 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,829 You're a real fucking cannibal! 157 00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:22,623 No! 158 00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:23,659 [groans] 159 00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:24,798 KURT: My board! - Oh! 160 00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:25,592 Ow! 161 00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:26,420 Ow! 162 00:06:26,455 --> 00:06:31,114 [whimpers] 163 00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,806 Thanks for the new board, douche. 164 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,600 Enjoy your soup! 165 00:06:33,634 --> 00:06:34,428 Blech! 166 00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:38,328 [yelling] Hey! 167 00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:41,573 Come back here with that board, you bonehead! 168 00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:43,748 My daddy gave me that board! 169 00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:46,544 He'll tan my hide if I lose it. 170 00:06:46,578 --> 00:06:48,408 No! 171 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,720 That board has unholy powers. 172 00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:52,135 [wheels whirring] 173 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,585 [whoosh] 174 00:06:55,035 --> 00:06:57,002 Game over. 175 00:06:57,037 --> 00:07:00,868 I'm in hot cheese now. 176 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:03,492 Now I'm stuck here on Earth. 177 00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,148 DISEMBODIED VOICE: I know I was bad! 178 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:07,219 And I fucking loved being bad! 179 00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:08,738 Where is it? 180 00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:11,016 [overlapping chatter] 181 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,917 What do you want? 182 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,232 No. 183 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,269 No, whoa, whoa, whoa. 184 00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:23,581 Hey! 185 00:07:23,615 --> 00:07:24,754 Hello? 186 00:07:24,789 --> 00:07:30,760 You have entered an escape room with no exit. 187 00:07:30,795 --> 00:07:32,693 Your actions on the earthly plane 188 00:07:32,728 --> 00:07:35,558 have led to this predicament. 189 00:07:35,593 --> 00:07:37,387 What the fuck is this place? 190 00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:39,907 This looks more like a daycare center than an escape room. 191 00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:42,358 You better watch that tongue, kid. 192 00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:50,400 [scoffs] Or I'll send in some hungry sludge worms, 193 00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:52,989 eat that tongue out of your mouth. 194 00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,128 Sludge worms? 195 00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:55,716 Where the hell is my board? 196 00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,823 Your board has changed hands. 197 00:07:58,857 --> 00:08:01,170 But all will be revealed soon enough. 198 00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:10,075 Just so you know, no one ever wins in this escape room. 199 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,836 [chains clink, latch clicks] 200 00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:15,805 [suspenseful music] 201 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:22,363 [groans] [whispers] They can't all be locked! 202 00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:24,814 [laughter, applause] 203 00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:29,923 DANTE: [cackles maniacally] The pain of it all! 204 00:08:29,957 --> 00:08:32,719 [laughter] 205 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,861 Come visit me, son. 206 00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:38,759 There is nothing to fear. 207 00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:40,278 [cackles] 208 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,659 [groans] 209 00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:43,592 You can trust me. 210 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:46,974 I used to be a game show host in the surface world 211 00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:51,531 until I killed everybody in the studio 212 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,187 for looking at me cockeyed. 213 00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:53,981 Yeah! 214 00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:54,948 [applause] 215 00:08:54,982 --> 00:08:56,605 Holy shit. 216 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:59,780 No swearing on this show. 217 00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:01,368 We are live. 218 00:09:01,402 --> 00:09:04,198 And our sponsors won't like it one bit. 219 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,270 [game show theme music] 220 00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:12,897 Well, folks, welcome to your favorite game show, Escape Room 221 00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:13,829 From Hell. 222 00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:15,209 [cheers, applause] 223 00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:19,489 As always, I'm your host, Dante A. Today we 224 00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,630 have a special guest with us. 225 00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:23,493 His name is-- hmm. 226 00:09:23,528 --> 00:09:29,465 [groans] What's the deal, pecker head? 227 00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:33,296 What is your name and why are you here? 228 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,366 I'm Kurt. 229 00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:35,920 I'm looking for my fucking board, man. 230 00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:36,748 Have you seen it? 231 00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:39,164 I said no foul language here! 232 00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:40,752 [audience exclaims] 233 00:09:40,787 --> 00:09:44,204 Hey, gent, is this the board you're after? 234 00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:49,623 [laughs] If you want it, you better come and get it. 235 00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:52,177 [laughs] 236 00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:53,800 Oh, god. 237 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:55,111 Wait, come back! 238 00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:59,599 I'll damn you for exposing my shame, you motherfucker! 239 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,980 DETECTIVE: This just doesn't make any damn sense. 240 00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:04,914 Human beings don't just turn into primordial ooze, 241 00:10:04,949 --> 00:10:08,469 not without at least some sort of blunt force trauma. 242 00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:09,988 Maybe someone's out here spraying 243 00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:13,336 down the homeless with a squirt gun full of acid or something. 244 00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:14,717 You wouldn't know this about me, 245 00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:16,477 but I'm an amateur archeologist. 246 00:10:16,512 --> 00:10:20,205 And to my eye, this looks like an ancient artifact to me. 247 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,828 I'll go ahead and see if I can find 248 00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:25,832 anybody who might be able to help identify 249 00:10:25,866 --> 00:10:27,281 the owner of this board. 250 00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:29,559 I feel like it's an important clue. 251 00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:30,906 I feel like it's our only clue. 252 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,497 Bag it up. 253 00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:39,431 [bag rustling] 254 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,746 [door creaks] 255 00:10:43,781 --> 00:10:44,713 [gasps] 256 00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:46,680 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 257 00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:53,653 Any disgusting concoction you think of can become a drink. 258 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,344 [cackles] 259 00:10:55,378 --> 00:10:56,207 What? 260 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:59,313 Like a diet soda with easy ice? 261 00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:03,559 My boy, you're thinking too simple. 262 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:11,912 More like an ear-worm elixir or a maggot martini. 263 00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:16,952 Or my favorite-- bile duct Bloody Mary. 264 00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,471 Just make me a slippery nipple. 265 00:11:19,506 --> 00:11:20,921 I could use a drink, I guess. 266 00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:23,372 My throat is dry as hell, so. 267 00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:24,166 Eh! 268 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,133 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 269 00:11:26,168 --> 00:11:31,898 [laughs] Ah, ah, ah. 270 00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:33,796 There you go, my boy. 271 00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:35,625 You let me know how it tastes. 272 00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:50,399 [screaming] 273 00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:53,851 [thunder rumbling] 274 00:11:56,854 --> 00:12:09,176 [groaning] Dude, this is no bueno. 275 00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:12,421 I've never been away from my hell home for this long. 276 00:12:12,455 --> 00:12:14,595 [somber music] 277 00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:18,668 I usually only skate up to the surface on a day trip. 278 00:12:22,224 --> 00:12:24,640 You know, I thought I was perfectly clear. 279 00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:28,195 Number one, I didn't want anybody making a mess on my set. 280 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,404 What do you think this is, a farm? 281 00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:34,339 And number two, I told you shooting porn on my set 282 00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,824 is strictly prohibited. 283 00:12:35,858 --> 00:12:37,101 This is not porn. 284 00:12:37,135 --> 00:12:39,724 This is just weird people touching each other. 285 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,726 If I find the crew member that's 286 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,247 been eating trash and collecting turds out of the john 287 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:48,146 one more time, I'm going to kick their ass. 288 00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:50,597 [utensil tapping] 289 00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:54,083 I hope you're all enjoying this evening's 290 00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,464 food I prepared for you all. 291 00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:59,468 Due to the amount of country that you all possess within you, 292 00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:03,852 I have rubbed my nuts on every single cup and utensil 293 00:13:03,886 --> 00:13:07,165 that you have put into your unsanctimonious mouths. 294 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:16,209 [panting] [sighs] [grunts] Let me out of here! 295 00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:19,246 Oh, fuck, the guy in the straitjacket was right. 296 00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:20,109 I'm not getting out. 297 00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:20,903 [skateboard pops] 298 00:13:20,938 --> 00:13:23,043 Ow! 299 00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:27,599 You-- you brought me here, didn't you? 300 00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,291 Maybe you can get me out. 301 00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,086 Fuck, here goes nothing. 302 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,468 [suspenseful music] 303 00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,470 [portal booms, body thuds] 304 00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:55,282 For Satan's sake, how did both of you let that kid escape? 305 00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:58,527 Nobody ever escapes. 306 00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:00,391 He defiled me. 307 00:14:00,425 --> 00:14:02,151 How dare him! 308 00:14:02,186 --> 00:14:04,395 He's not gonna get away with this. 309 00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:06,086 I'm gonna get him! 310 00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:13,197 Yeah, well, he splashed me in the eyes with toxic squid inks! 311 00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:14,819 The boy will be back. 312 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,271 Nobody stays out for long. 313 00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:21,136 Should we let the big man know? 314 00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:23,690 You mean the record keeper? 315 00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:26,900 You think getting pantsed, it was bad? 316 00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:30,179 The big man will turn you into pants. 317 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,392 All right, girls, now, how do we make holy water? 318 00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:37,531 Get water. 319 00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:38,670 Put it on the stove. 320 00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,362 And cook the crap out of it. 321 00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,260 No, it's boil the hell out of. 322 00:14:42,295 --> 00:14:44,331 Boil the hell out of it. 323 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:47,058 Have any of you guys seen this skateboard around? 324 00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:53,720 Sir, you seem a bit nervous. 325 00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:54,859 Are you feeling all right? 326 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:55,895 I'm one of the good ones. 327 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,206 You can trust me. 328 00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,588 It's just that when a man in uniform confronts me, 329 00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:02,591 I get flashbacks of military academy. 330 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,351 Our father's innocent, officer. 331 00:15:04,386 --> 00:15:06,043 The AC in our car is broken. 332 00:15:06,077 --> 00:15:07,354 Yeah, he wouldn't hurt a fly. 333 00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,253 He makes me kill them. 334 00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:10,116 Sir. 335 00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:11,703 Sir, sir, come here, come here. 336 00:15:11,738 --> 00:15:14,741 You know, running away doesn't exactly make you look innocent 337 00:15:14,775 --> 00:15:15,880 now, does it? 338 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,503 Look, sire, I used the immortal blade 339 00:15:18,538 --> 00:15:20,989 to cut deep this time. 340 00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:24,130 You could see the muscles and the veins and everything. 341 00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:25,890 [suspenseful music] 342 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:31,206 [groans] [sighs] That's nice, Aleister. 343 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:37,798 You see, my son Howard didn't come home for supper last night. 344 00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:40,974 He could be beneath the floorboards of my old house. 345 00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:44,012 [chuckles] You know, there were some, uh, 346 00:15:44,046 --> 00:15:48,913 local neighborhood boys who accidentally got trapped there. 347 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,260 They used to mow my lawn. 348 00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:56,576 Ever since I gave him that infernal skateboard, 349 00:15:56,610 --> 00:16:00,476 he's been acting like a common human being. 350 00:16:00,511 --> 00:16:02,409 You shouldn't coddle him so much. 351 00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:04,618 Howard was bound to spread his fallen angel wings 352 00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:05,792 one of these days. 353 00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:09,589 Look, sire, I removed a pinky just for you and-- 354 00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:13,973 How many times do I have to tell you, Aleister? 355 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,595 I'm not in the mood! 356 00:16:15,629 --> 00:16:18,322 But I thought you liked it when there was blood and guts. 357 00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:19,150 That's it. 358 00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,945 Security! 359 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,360 Take him away! 360 00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:24,293 You heard the big man, chump. 361 00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:25,398 Let's take a walk. 362 00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:28,366 Yeah, let's get some nice hell air. 363 00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:29,574 But we're having fun. 364 00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,266 I'm trying to entertain. 365 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,646 SECURITY GUARD: Who gives a fuck? 366 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:35,925 Holy shit! 367 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,134 Man, what kind of board is that? 368 00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:38,376 - That thing is dope, bro. - Where'd you get that? 369 00:16:38,411 --> 00:16:39,550 Sh, sh. Calm down! 370 00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:40,792 Calm down! - You gotta let me ride that. 371 00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:42,242 No, no, no, no, no, you don't get it. 372 00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:43,692 I've got a story to tell you, man. 373 00:16:43,726 --> 00:16:45,832 I've literally been to hell and back. 374 00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:47,075 Hell and back, huh? 375 00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:48,869 That sounds like my early morning ritual. 376 00:16:48,904 --> 00:16:51,010 You know I stay on that gas and dust it, brah. 377 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,804 You keep that shit up, you're going to be 378 00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:54,220 in a padded room for life. 379 00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:56,877 My drug of choice is EDM festivals. 380 00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:59,535 [beat boxing] 381 00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,882 Sorry, Ruby, we can't all get high on life, all right? 382 00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:03,850 Some of us need something a little bit stronger. 383 00:17:03,884 --> 00:17:04,678 No, listen, man! 384 00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:05,783 It's this board! 385 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,819 It's got some kind of unholy power. 386 00:17:07,854 --> 00:17:09,338 It can send people straight to hell. 387 00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:10,167 I'm serious. 388 00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:11,478 I think I stole it from a demon. 389 00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,515 He drank people through a straw. 390 00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:15,241 The only thing I notice about that board 391 00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:17,415 is it's lumpy and ugly. 392 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,073 I can prove it! 393 00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:22,834 So, Aleister, sorry we had to rough you up a little bit, 394 00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:26,114 but the devil's had it up to about here with his most 395 00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:28,150 little unbegotten son. 396 00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:31,188 Oh, I mean, mistakes were made on both ends. 397 00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:33,017 You know, I never did ask the rest 398 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,639 of you what you're all doing down here 399 00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,227 working for the big cheese. 400 00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:37,539 I'd really like to hear that. 401 00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:39,196 Well, I can go first. 402 00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:43,096 Virgil, as you know, we were partners up there. 403 00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:45,961 I was turning perps into Swiss cheese, 404 00:17:45,995 --> 00:17:48,653 and he was chewing up raw steak. 405 00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:53,002 But then we went in, guns blazing and-- 406 00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:55,281 to this drug bust gone bad. 407 00:17:55,315 --> 00:17:57,938 Well, you know, I don't think we should have 408 00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:00,872 had an open casket funeral. 409 00:18:00,907 --> 00:18:02,219 That was a big mistake. 410 00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:03,427 Lot of bullet holes. 411 00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:04,911 Yep. 412 00:18:04,945 --> 00:18:09,226 That's the thing, you know, murder is, uh-- 413 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,779 isn't just a sin with-- 414 00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:11,987 with bad people. 415 00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:14,990 It's still a sin with-- 416 00:18:15,024 --> 00:18:15,991 with innocents. 417 00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:17,441 You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. 418 00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:18,407 Yeah. 419 00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:19,788 Hmm. 420 00:18:19,822 --> 00:18:22,135 OK. 421 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,723 Next? 422 00:18:23,757 --> 00:18:26,243 I used to run college parties. 423 00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:28,728 And I had the whole shebang. 424 00:18:28,762 --> 00:18:31,938 I had-- I had a petting zoo and I had a DJ-- 425 00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:34,389 all the fun stuff. 426 00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:35,942 Then one day the-- the-- 427 00:18:35,976 --> 00:18:38,979 the donkey made a little bit of a mess in the living room. 428 00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:42,259 And the family refused to pay. 429 00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:45,124 So I went back later on to gas their house. 430 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,918 Ended up exploding myself too. 431 00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:47,712 Ouch. 432 00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:49,542 I woke up here. 433 00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:50,681 Wow. 434 00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:52,717 Nice. 435 00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:55,582 OK, so what about you, Judas? 436 00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:56,928 Nah, how about Foley? 437 00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:57,929 How about Foley? 438 00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,172 What happened to you? 439 00:18:59,207 --> 00:19:00,967 Well, I was in a bit of a pickle, boy. 440 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:03,763 I'd hide cameras in the ladies room. 441 00:19:03,797 --> 00:19:05,799 One day, a female bodybuilder caught me 442 00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,422 and threw me out the window. 443 00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:09,009 Face ended up like ground beef. 444 00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:12,081 And I got here missing my dingus. 445 00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:15,015 VIRGIL: That must have been a real surprise the next morning. 446 00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:17,363 So, Judas, what's your truth? 447 00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:18,743 Why don't you regale us? 448 00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:23,714 Um, I had an altercation at my school. 449 00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:27,787 Things were said and a few heads rolled, including my own. 450 00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:31,204 VIRGIL: Ah, sounds like a real gutter ball. 451 00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:35,657 So stranger, Mr. Stranger, I don't recognize 452 00:19:35,691 --> 00:19:36,968 you from when you came in. 453 00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:38,073 I just dropped in. 454 00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:39,350 My name is Christopher. 455 00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:41,283 I guess you could say I had an eye for talent. 456 00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:42,836 Ah, a shutterbug. 457 00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:44,976 Did any of your stuff ever get published? 458 00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:45,943 Just my mugshot. 459 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,876 That was after I was dead, of course. 460 00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,222 Wow. 461 00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:51,190 Well, you know, it's too bad you put your camera down. 462 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,744 Because we always could use a photographer 463 00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:55,780 here to take pictures of the devil, you know, 464 00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:57,368 make him look good. 465 00:19:57,403 --> 00:20:00,233 People say he's standoffish and unapproachable. 466 00:20:00,268 --> 00:20:01,027 But I don't know. 467 00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:02,511 Soup's on! 468 00:20:02,546 --> 00:20:04,582 Soup is on! 469 00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,998 Delicious eyeball soup. 470 00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:10,485 And might I add, the green Irish chunks are the sweetest. 471 00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:11,865 You know what, Tom? 472 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,592 You come in here with this rusty cart with the squeaky wheels 473 00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:16,629 every Satan-forsaken day. 474 00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:17,906 And for what? 475 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:18,976 We don't want it. 476 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,184 We're not going to eat it. 477 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,497 It looks like shit. 478 00:20:22,531 --> 00:20:25,431 Sir, I might add that up there, 479 00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:28,641 I was the personal chef to Dr. Beef 480 00:20:28,675 --> 00:20:31,954 Curtis and the Calibellends. 481 00:20:31,989 --> 00:20:35,648 I think I know how to put on a spread. 482 00:20:35,682 --> 00:20:36,994 Fuck it, I'm dead anyway. 483 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,445 Let me try one of your barbecue ear sliders. 484 00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:40,239 All right. 485 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,032 Be careful though. 486 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,966 They are spicy. 487 00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:51,353 [munches] [screams] 488 00:20:51,388 --> 00:20:53,976 Wow, another satisfied sucker. 489 00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:58,947 Why is my son such a disgrace? 490 00:20:58,981 --> 00:21:02,985 I gave him life in this toilet bowl. 491 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:07,024 And I can flush him just as easy. 492 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:10,338 But it's not your fault, my liege. 493 00:21:10,372 --> 00:21:14,065 You know what they're like when their horns start coming in. 494 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,101 [groans] 495 00:21:15,135 --> 00:21:16,723 Those little demons-- 496 00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:18,863 [groans] 497 00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:20,796 --they just rebel at that age. 498 00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:22,833 [groans] 499 00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,836 My Dark Lord, do you think it's time to send 500 00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,872 a search party to the surface? 501 00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:34,258 Not yet, but maybe after a full 48 hours. 502 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,571 That'll teach him. 503 00:21:36,605 --> 00:21:37,572 I don't know, man. 504 00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:38,676 It's this fucking board. 505 00:21:38,711 --> 00:21:40,989 It's got some like, really evil powers, man. 506 00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:43,129 Evil fucking powers, huh? 507 00:21:43,163 --> 00:21:44,026 I'm so scared. 508 00:21:44,061 --> 00:21:45,200 I'm serious. 509 00:21:45,234 --> 00:21:46,891 Do I look scared? 'Cause this is my scared face. 510 00:21:46,926 --> 00:21:48,065 I'm serious. 511 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:49,929 Fuck it, whatever, ride it. 512 00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:53,035 Say motherfucking less, brah. 513 00:21:53,070 --> 00:21:56,004 [energy whooshing] 514 00:21:56,038 --> 00:21:58,247 Fuck! 515 00:21:58,282 --> 00:21:59,179 Fuck you, Chase! 516 00:21:59,214 --> 00:22:00,940 I told him this was gonna happen! 517 00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:03,425 He couldn't just believe me. 518 00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:04,668 Fuck! 519 00:22:04,702 --> 00:22:05,565 Shit. 520 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,670 Shit Oh my god. 521 00:22:06,704 --> 00:22:09,500 Fuck. 522 00:22:09,535 --> 00:22:11,260 [energy whooshing] 523 00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:12,848 Oh, yeah. 524 00:22:12,883 --> 00:22:15,092 DISEMBODIED VOICE: What the devil did I do? 525 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:16,058 I think I'm home. 526 00:22:16,093 --> 00:22:17,336 [distant arguing] 527 00:22:18,509 --> 00:22:20,442 DISEMBODIED VOICE: It wasn't my fault, grandpa. 528 00:22:20,477 --> 00:22:23,687 Pretty fucking metal. 529 00:22:23,721 --> 00:22:25,654 This is exactly what I thought the devil's 530 00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:26,862 asshole would sound like. 531 00:22:26,897 --> 00:22:29,071 DISEMBODIED VOICE: Why are you doing this to me? 532 00:22:29,106 --> 00:22:31,419 I think I might stay awhile. 533 00:22:31,453 --> 00:22:34,767 [suspenseful music] 534 00:22:41,532 --> 00:22:43,120 Oh, no, no, no, no. 535 00:22:48,539 --> 00:22:50,921 OK, nice trick, Kurt. 536 00:22:50,955 --> 00:22:52,888 Now where's Chase? 537 00:22:52,923 --> 00:22:54,752 He may be a dick, but he's our dick. 538 00:22:54,787 --> 00:22:57,755 I told you, he's in his own personal hell now. 539 00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:59,585 He might be back, but I still haven't 540 00:22:59,619 --> 00:23:00,620 figured out how it works. 541 00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:09,491 I just saw the most fucked up thing in my life, 542 00:23:09,526 --> 00:23:13,253 even worse than when my cat Potato ate one of her kittens. 543 00:23:13,288 --> 00:23:15,704 Marianne, how many times do I have to tell you 544 00:23:15,739 --> 00:23:18,224 you're not supposed to drink bong water? 545 00:23:18,258 --> 00:23:19,639 Nobody. 546 00:23:19,674 --> 00:23:23,298 You know that skater who always used to give you melvins? 547 00:23:23,332 --> 00:23:27,336 He vanished into thin air. 548 00:23:27,371 --> 00:23:29,856 Oh, you mean, uh, Caleb Chase. 549 00:23:29,891 --> 00:23:32,618 Yeah, it's funny, I told him if I ever saw him in my park again, 550 00:23:32,652 --> 00:23:35,966 I was gonna brand his ass with our skate team logo. 551 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,175 He is so fucking dead. 552 00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:39,901 Kurt and Ruby were there. 553 00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:41,868 Maybe they can tell us what happened. 554 00:23:41,903 --> 00:23:44,837 I wouldn't talk to those two shit stains if you paid me. 555 00:23:44,871 --> 00:23:47,633 You know, I was going to take Ruby to Fiends Fest? 556 00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:49,082 She stood me up. 557 00:23:49,117 --> 00:23:53,293 She was doing her hair or something, some bullshit. 558 00:23:53,328 --> 00:23:56,158 But I know what I saw. 559 00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:57,643 Come on, we've got to check it out. 560 00:23:57,677 --> 00:23:58,920 Come on. 561 00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:00,715 [groans] Fine! 562 00:24:00,749 --> 00:24:01,681 Get off me! 563 00:24:01,716 --> 00:24:03,338 [belt snapping] 564 00:24:03,372 --> 00:24:04,995 I'm gonna have a word with you. 565 00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:06,479 Woody, you gonna forget me? 566 00:24:06,514 --> 00:24:07,549 It's a two-for-one sale. 567 00:24:07,584 --> 00:24:08,861 WOODY: Give him a good beatdown. 568 00:24:08,895 --> 00:24:10,690 [belt snapping] 569 00:24:10,725 --> 00:24:14,038 [suspenseful music] 570 00:24:18,836 --> 00:24:21,252 Oh, shit, the board! 571 00:24:21,287 --> 00:24:26,741 Ah, well, looka here, a board with wheels. 572 00:24:26,775 --> 00:24:28,328 I thought we agreed you was gonna play 573 00:24:28,363 --> 00:24:30,676 baseball, a real man's sport. 574 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,368 You're not my real father. 575 00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:35,059 And I don't have to listen to you anymore. 576 00:24:35,094 --> 00:24:36,785 Calm down, calm down, Woody. 577 00:24:36,820 --> 00:24:40,306 It ain't like we're stuck in a box of Froot Loops. 578 00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:42,688 You're right, Dill. 579 00:24:42,722 --> 00:24:44,655 You want this board back, you little prick? 580 00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:45,691 Come take it from me. 581 00:24:45,725 --> 00:24:46,933 [strap thuds] 582 00:24:46,968 --> 00:24:48,590 Oh, Foghorn Leghorn! 583 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:51,041 My dominoes just went down. 584 00:24:51,075 --> 00:24:51,869 [groans] 585 00:24:51,904 --> 00:24:53,492 Enjoy hell, motherfuckers! 586 00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:55,424 WOODY: You're dead, you little prick! 587 00:24:55,459 --> 00:24:58,945 [soft dramatic music] 588 00:25:05,469 --> 00:25:07,782 CHASE: Where my hoodlums at? 589 00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,059 Hey, hey, hey! 590 00:25:09,093 --> 00:25:10,819 So how was your trip? 591 00:25:10,854 --> 00:25:12,303 I think it's my turn. 592 00:25:12,338 --> 00:25:14,340 Hell was lit as fuck, bro. 593 00:25:14,374 --> 00:25:15,686 Yeah! 594 00:25:15,721 --> 00:25:16,998 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 595 00:25:17,032 --> 00:25:18,896 Hold on a fucking second. 596 00:25:18,931 --> 00:25:21,140 There's a board here with some unholy powers, 597 00:25:21,174 --> 00:25:22,451 you're giving it to daddy. 598 00:25:22,486 --> 00:25:25,524 I've been praying to Baphomet since I was a tween, so. 599 00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,284 Slow your roll, my necro, OK? 600 00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,699 You'll get this board when you pry 601 00:25:28,734 --> 00:25:30,459 it from my cold, dead fingers. - Oh? 602 00:25:30,494 --> 00:25:33,014 Oh, hey, buddy, isn't that your favorite skateboarder, 603 00:25:33,048 --> 00:25:34,325 Donny Vulture? 604 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,052 Yeah, weren't you, like, part of his biggest fan club? 605 00:25:37,087 --> 00:25:39,607 Doesn't his wife have a restraining order against you? 606 00:25:39,641 --> 00:25:42,230 Holy shit, that is the Vult Man. 607 00:25:42,264 --> 00:25:43,576 All right, well, fuck you, guys. 608 00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:46,096 I'm out of here to get myself a selfie. 609 00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:47,822 [groaning] 610 00:25:47,856 --> 00:25:48,995 [laughs] 611 00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:50,376 Oh! 612 00:25:50,410 --> 00:25:53,068 Stop acting like a turtle and get off the ground, buddy. 613 00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:55,588 You're going to make our skate team look bad. 614 00:25:55,623 --> 00:25:56,382 I can't. 615 00:25:56,416 --> 00:25:57,556 My equilibrium's off! 616 00:25:57,590 --> 00:25:58,453 You know I get dizzy. 617 00:25:58,487 --> 00:26:00,282 Now get me a fucking ice pack! 618 00:26:00,317 --> 00:26:02,388 It's my bad knee, woman! 619 00:26:02,422 --> 00:26:04,045 Whoa. 620 00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:06,116 Are you OK there, son? 621 00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:10,292 What'd you do, pull a gonad or something? 622 00:26:10,327 --> 00:26:13,675 While you're here, have you seen this board around? 623 00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,333 [winces] All right, all right. 624 00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,127 Here, take my hand. 625 00:26:17,161 --> 00:26:17,955 I'll help you up. 626 00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:19,681 [groans] Fuck you. 627 00:26:19,716 --> 00:26:23,374 [farts] Oh, I guess those spicy tamales were a bad idea. 628 00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:25,204 Sorry. 629 00:26:25,238 --> 00:26:26,515 Come on, motherfuckers. 630 00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:28,483 I heard the skatepark's this way. 631 00:26:28,517 --> 00:26:29,691 Screw you, dickhead. 632 00:26:29,726 --> 00:26:31,348 I'm the leader and I'll say what I want. 633 00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:32,832 You're not even my fucking dad. 634 00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:33,799 Great. 635 00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:35,076 Getting told off by a 12-year-old, 636 00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:36,525 what is my life coming to? 637 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,079 Boys will be boys, Albert. 638 00:26:38,113 --> 00:26:39,390 You know what they say. 639 00:26:39,425 --> 00:26:41,254 Social media is rotting young kids' minds. 640 00:26:41,289 --> 00:26:44,810 [chuckles] Back in my day, we didn't even have cell phones. 641 00:26:44,844 --> 00:26:45,638 Yeah. 642 00:26:45,673 --> 00:26:46,501 How old are you? 643 00:26:46,535 --> 00:26:47,260 100? 644 00:26:47,295 --> 00:26:48,952 Hey, that's enough, man. 645 00:26:48,986 --> 00:26:51,437 Come on, respect your elders. 646 00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:52,472 Yeah. 647 00:26:52,507 --> 00:26:53,991 Don't you have some mysteries to solve 648 00:26:54,026 --> 00:26:55,890 with your Great Dane, Groovy? 649 00:26:55,924 --> 00:26:58,409 I can feel my life force draining. 650 00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:00,342 Why are you doing this? 651 00:27:00,377 --> 00:27:03,725 [screaming] [groans] 652 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,106 [laughs] 653 00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:07,764 Why are you doing this to me? 654 00:27:07,798 --> 00:27:11,457 Because this here is mutant country. 655 00:27:11,491 --> 00:27:13,321 Ain't no room for normies in it. 656 00:27:13,355 --> 00:27:14,391 You're not even ugly. 657 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,495 Yeah. 658 00:27:15,530 --> 00:27:18,498 Look at your eyebrows, they're gorgeous. 659 00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:19,568 They're gorgeous. 660 00:27:19,603 --> 00:27:23,814 If I don't kill you tonight, my brothers 661 00:27:23,849 --> 00:27:25,402 ain't gonna eat supper. 662 00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,231 I don't taste good. 663 00:27:27,266 --> 00:27:28,923 I don't taste good! 664 00:27:28,957 --> 00:27:32,029 I can't wait to rip his skin and eat it! 665 00:27:32,064 --> 00:27:33,272 [laughs] 666 00:27:33,306 --> 00:27:35,101 I can't wait to get to his footsies. 667 00:27:35,136 --> 00:27:36,931 [sobbing] 668 00:27:36,965 --> 00:27:39,140 You dipshits better not touch his nutsack. 669 00:27:39,174 --> 00:27:40,589 [screams] 670 00:27:40,624 --> 00:27:43,869 I need it on my leathery tits. 671 00:27:43,903 --> 00:27:45,456 They're getting dry in the sun. 672 00:27:45,491 --> 00:27:47,320 [laughs] 673 00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:51,014 [toy gun firing] 674 00:27:52,118 --> 00:27:54,500 You folks see this big, ugly, hairy bastard 675 00:27:54,534 --> 00:27:55,604 around these parts? 676 00:27:55,639 --> 00:27:58,642 I've been tracking him for years, no luck. 677 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,059 This guy isn't part of the script. 678 00:28:02,094 --> 00:28:05,166 Jim, are you asleep? 679 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,995 Huh? 680 00:28:07,030 --> 00:28:09,239 Oh, I'll allow it. 681 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:11,034 I love improv. 682 00:28:11,068 --> 00:28:12,414 Well, I don't. 683 00:28:12,449 --> 00:28:14,762 Let's get this guy out of here. 684 00:28:14,796 --> 00:28:17,868 Junior, are you ready for your daily lesson for your reading 685 00:28:17,903 --> 00:28:19,111 assignment last night? 686 00:28:19,145 --> 00:28:20,491 I don't read books. 687 00:28:20,526 --> 00:28:23,046 I fucking burn them. 688 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,219 Come on, guys. 689 00:28:24,254 --> 00:28:26,256 You said it was my turn to try the skateboard. 690 00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:27,188 Stop it. 691 00:28:27,222 --> 00:28:28,051 It's really evil. 692 00:28:28,085 --> 00:28:29,328 We don't even know how it works. 693 00:28:29,362 --> 00:28:30,432 [indie rock music] 694 00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:32,607 Hey, trust me, you don't want none of that. 695 00:28:32,641 --> 00:28:37,508 [SINGING] Don't bring me dow, ow, own 696 00:28:37,543 --> 00:28:39,407 Bring the casket 697 00:28:39,441 --> 00:28:42,410 It's like it's reading my fucking mind. 698 00:28:42,444 --> 00:28:44,515 Where are these motherfuckers? 699 00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:45,516 Hello! 700 00:28:45,551 --> 00:28:47,691 Is anyone working today? 701 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:52,144 I mean, I'll gladly steal some wax and some grip tape, if not. 702 00:28:52,178 --> 00:28:53,524 Hey, kids, welcome to the shop. 703 00:28:53,559 --> 00:28:55,078 What brings you in today? 704 00:28:55,112 --> 00:28:56,527 I'm looking for Kane. 705 00:28:56,562 --> 00:28:57,908 Is he here? 706 00:28:57,943 --> 00:28:59,427 Where is he? 707 00:28:59,461 --> 00:29:03,120 We wanted to ask him about this cursed skateboard. 708 00:29:03,155 --> 00:29:04,915 Cursed skateboard? 709 00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:09,092 What did that used to belong to, a crocodile? 710 00:29:09,126 --> 00:29:09,989 Sorry, kids. 711 00:29:10,024 --> 00:29:11,646 Kane's on a film shoot today. 712 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,822 Some mutant horror movie called Leather Teats. 713 00:29:14,856 --> 00:29:15,615 Leather Tits. 714 00:29:15,650 --> 00:29:16,409 Teats. 715 00:29:16,444 --> 00:29:17,825 Leather Tits. 716 00:29:17,859 --> 00:29:19,758 Oh, these horror movie titles are getting worse and worse. 717 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,380 [shop bell rings] 718 00:29:21,414 --> 00:29:23,796 Oh, Mama Kat, we're back for some new boards. 719 00:29:23,831 --> 00:29:25,004 Awesome. Let's get you fixed up. 720 00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:26,385 What did you have in mind? 721 00:29:26,419 --> 00:29:28,836 My basic setup of a hot pink board with some loose trucks. 722 00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:30,596 Just be careful on those big hills. 723 00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:31,770 How about your friend there? 724 00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:33,875 I want a skateboard with some sick graphics. 725 00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:36,360 I'm thinking maybe a unicorn surfing a rainbow 726 00:29:36,395 --> 00:29:38,535 with a pentagram on his ass. 727 00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:39,432 Sounds cool. 728 00:29:39,467 --> 00:29:40,779 Take a look around, if you want. 729 00:29:40,813 --> 00:29:42,919 [SINGING] You took advantage of my heart 730 00:29:42,953 --> 00:29:45,093 Don't believe us? 731 00:29:45,128 --> 00:29:47,440 Watch this. 732 00:29:47,475 --> 00:29:50,064 I can prove this board has powers. 733 00:29:50,098 --> 00:29:51,306 Great, here we go again. 734 00:29:51,341 --> 00:29:54,137 [tense music] 735 00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:56,967 [energy whooshing] 736 00:29:57,002 --> 00:29:58,106 Oh! Oh! 737 00:29:58,141 --> 00:29:58,935 Oh! 738 00:29:58,969 --> 00:30:00,143 That was bitchin'. 739 00:30:00,177 --> 00:30:03,215 That was bitchin'. 740 00:30:03,249 --> 00:30:05,838 Uh, it sucks about your floors, though. 741 00:30:05,873 --> 00:30:07,426 Buck, did you set this up? 742 00:30:07,460 --> 00:30:08,358 Well, great. 743 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:09,290 She's gone. 744 00:30:09,324 --> 00:30:10,256 I told you. 745 00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:11,085 Where'd she go? 746 00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:14,916 To her own personal hell! 747 00:30:14,951 --> 00:30:16,780 Oh, no. 748 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:20,059 That girl is my only potential customer in over two weeks. 749 00:30:20,094 --> 00:30:23,683 [sobbing] Nobody buys my dresses! 750 00:30:23,718 --> 00:30:27,653 DISEMBODIED VOICE: [laughs] Oh, I'm sorry. 751 00:30:27,687 --> 00:30:28,896 I didn't mean to kill her. 752 00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:30,587 DISEMBODIED VOICE: I went to church. 753 00:30:30,621 --> 00:30:31,899 I was a good fucking person. 754 00:30:31,933 --> 00:30:33,417 DISEMBODIED VOICE: Still here. Please. 755 00:30:33,452 --> 00:30:34,453 [sobs] 756 00:30:34,487 --> 00:30:35,834 [laughs] DISEMBODIED VOICE: I have money. 757 00:30:35,868 --> 00:30:37,076 Please, take the money. - Bad ass! 758 00:30:37,111 --> 00:30:39,216 [tapping] 759 00:30:40,597 --> 00:30:42,979 Where the hell am I? 760 00:30:43,013 --> 00:30:44,704 What the hell am I wearing? 761 00:30:44,739 --> 00:30:46,845 Wow, how dumb are you, Ruby? 762 00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:48,674 You only work at the best toy store in town, 763 00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:49,744 and you're asleep? 764 00:30:49,778 --> 00:30:51,711 What seems to be the problem here, ma'am. 765 00:30:51,746 --> 00:30:54,059 This dumb little bitch, Ruby, is asleep at the counter. 766 00:30:54,093 --> 00:30:56,061 And I want her fired now. 767 00:30:56,095 --> 00:30:58,822 I didn't even remember I had work today. 768 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:03,068 I feel like I quit this job years ago. 769 00:31:03,102 --> 00:31:04,448 That's a good one. 770 00:31:04,483 --> 00:31:07,589 Nobody quits this job. 771 00:31:16,012 --> 00:31:18,946 [rhythmic tapping] 772 00:31:21,431 --> 00:31:23,916 [whooshing, splattering] 773 00:31:46,387 --> 00:31:52,220 My dear Ruby, what are we gonna do with you? 774 00:31:52,255 --> 00:31:54,360 [cackles] 775 00:31:54,395 --> 00:31:55,568 Sorry, sir. 776 00:31:55,603 --> 00:31:58,778 My head is somewhere else. 777 00:31:58,813 --> 00:32:00,263 Mine too. 778 00:32:00,297 --> 00:32:02,058 But you know what? 779 00:32:02,092 --> 00:32:03,197 [hand thuds] 780 00:32:03,231 --> 00:32:05,716 Just for that, you're gonna work all night. 781 00:32:05,751 --> 00:32:09,341 No [lips smacking] lunch break! 782 00:32:09,375 --> 00:32:10,790 Come with me. 783 00:32:10,825 --> 00:32:13,000 I'm gonna take you to my back office 784 00:32:13,034 --> 00:32:17,970 to teach you about customer and employee hospitality. 785 00:32:18,005 --> 00:32:19,696 Ha! 786 00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,077 Oh, yeah, you would. 787 00:32:21,111 --> 00:32:26,737 [laughs] Ruby, come get comfortable. 788 00:32:26,772 --> 00:32:28,429 Take a load off-- 789 00:32:28,463 --> 00:32:30,465 because I know I will. 790 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:31,708 No, thanks. 791 00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:33,641 I think I'd rather stand. 792 00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:34,780 No? 793 00:32:34,814 --> 00:32:35,988 Suit yourself. 794 00:32:36,023 --> 00:32:40,096 All the female employees, they ooze my sexuality. 795 00:32:40,130 --> 00:32:41,338 Fat chance. 796 00:32:41,373 --> 00:32:42,546 You're not my type. 797 00:32:42,581 --> 00:32:43,962 How about you check this out? 798 00:32:49,070 --> 00:32:51,900 Mini Godzilla. 799 00:32:51,935 --> 00:32:55,352 Oh, my, that changes things. 800 00:32:55,387 --> 00:32:56,146 Oh, yeah. 801 00:32:56,181 --> 00:32:56,940 OK. 802 00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:57,734 Yeah? 803 00:32:57,768 --> 00:32:58,666 Close your eyes. 804 00:32:58,700 --> 00:32:59,494 OK. 805 00:33:04,223 --> 00:33:06,639 [screaming] 806 00:33:06,674 --> 00:33:09,159 [knife slicing] 807 00:33:11,644 --> 00:33:19,066 [groans] Why? 808 00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:22,448 Is it because I made you work the night shift? 809 00:33:22,483 --> 00:33:23,553 No. 810 00:33:23,587 --> 00:33:25,831 I've wanted to do this for a long time. 811 00:33:25,865 --> 00:33:29,076 I wish this were real life, but I guess hell will have to do. 812 00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:34,391 See you never. 813 00:33:34,426 --> 00:33:38,154 Nobody's choking on cock but me around here! 814 00:33:38,188 --> 00:33:40,604 [gagging, coughing] 815 00:33:40,639 --> 00:33:43,780 Give me that dick! 816 00:33:46,783 --> 00:33:49,234 [sniffs] 817 00:33:49,268 --> 00:33:52,133 [heavy metal music] 818 00:33:52,168 --> 00:33:57,897 [munching] 819 00:33:57,932 --> 00:34:01,246 Chase, what are you even eating? 820 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,110 Sustenance. 821 00:34:03,144 --> 00:34:04,421 [gags] 822 00:34:04,456 --> 00:34:05,802 [munching] 823 00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:07,907 Where did you find those? 824 00:34:07,942 --> 00:34:10,738 Don't worry about that. 825 00:34:10,772 --> 00:34:14,224 Well, are you gonna to share? 826 00:34:14,259 --> 00:34:15,329 Good. 827 00:34:15,363 --> 00:34:17,055 So, guys, how long does it take to get 828 00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:19,091 back from the underworld? 829 00:34:19,126 --> 00:34:21,507 I mean, nobody really knows. 830 00:34:21,542 --> 00:34:22,750 It could be minutes. 831 00:34:22,784 --> 00:34:24,234 It could be hours. 832 00:34:24,269 --> 00:34:27,168 I think it depends on how much emotional baggage you have. 833 00:34:27,203 --> 00:34:29,032 Which varies a bit, really. 834 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:32,104 I have so much emotional baggage, I could sink a ship. 835 00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:34,520 Yeah, well, I'm living in my own hell, 836 00:34:34,555 --> 00:34:36,833 having a look at your pretty face every day. 837 00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:39,111 Hey, guys. 838 00:34:39,146 --> 00:34:41,493 Do you think she might buy a dress when she returns? 839 00:34:41,527 --> 00:34:42,804 [energy whooshing] 840 00:34:42,839 --> 00:34:45,324 CHASE: Oh, shit. 841 00:34:45,359 --> 00:34:47,085 Well, there she is in the flesh. 842 00:34:50,191 --> 00:34:51,675 Ruby, you look a little different. 843 00:34:51,710 --> 00:34:53,436 What did you do while you were down there? 844 00:34:53,470 --> 00:34:54,506 Kill somebody? 845 00:34:54,540 --> 00:34:56,128 Something like that. 846 00:34:56,163 --> 00:34:57,888 Yo, that blade is sick, son. 847 00:34:57,923 --> 00:34:58,682 Let me borrow that. 848 00:34:58,717 --> 00:34:59,718 You wouldn't want it. 849 00:34:59,752 --> 00:35:00,960 It's covered in pervert blood. 850 00:35:00,995 --> 00:35:03,825 [gags] I think I'm gonna be sick. 851 00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:05,827 I can't stand the sight of blood. 852 00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:08,313 Why do you think I wear elbows and deep pad-- 853 00:35:08,347 --> 00:35:09,797 [gags] 854 00:35:09,831 --> 00:35:11,971 So, wait, what was it like for you? 855 00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:15,043 Well, I was working retail, so there's that. 856 00:35:15,078 --> 00:35:16,321 That's bogus. 857 00:35:16,355 --> 00:35:18,116 Yeah. 858 00:35:18,150 --> 00:35:19,255 Yoink. 859 00:35:19,289 --> 00:35:20,497 Well, it's my turn this time. - No, no, no. 860 00:35:20,532 --> 00:35:22,465 Wait, wait, wait, wait, man. - Wait! 861 00:35:22,499 --> 00:35:23,293 You want a dress? 862 00:35:23,328 --> 00:35:24,743 Have a nice trip. 863 00:35:24,777 --> 00:35:26,572 [energy whooshing] 864 00:35:26,607 --> 00:35:28,850 DISEMBODIED VOICE: [sobs] Come on. 865 00:35:28,885 --> 00:35:30,404 DISEMBODIED VOICE: Hands off my nuts! 866 00:35:30,438 --> 00:35:31,646 [groans] 867 00:35:31,681 --> 00:35:33,131 This place is bullshit. 868 00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,891 DISEMBODIED VOICE: Stop smashing my balls! 869 00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:36,789 It looks like a cheap Halloween walk-through 870 00:35:36,824 --> 00:35:38,722 some haunt filter dreamt up. 871 00:35:38,757 --> 00:35:43,210 I gotta tell Kane and Buck about this junk. 872 00:35:43,244 --> 00:35:46,627 [soft dramatic music] 873 00:35:54,462 --> 00:35:56,430 [coughs] 874 00:35:56,464 --> 00:35:59,916 Ah, you look beautiful. 875 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:02,229 Let me wax your eyebrows. 876 00:36:02,263 --> 00:36:03,022 No, thank you. 877 00:36:03,057 --> 00:36:04,334 [laughs] 878 00:36:04,369 --> 00:36:06,371 What about your Norwegian areas? 879 00:36:06,405 --> 00:36:07,510 [laughs] 880 00:36:07,544 --> 00:36:08,683 No, thank you. 881 00:36:08,718 --> 00:36:10,547 But your work is marvelous. 882 00:36:10,582 --> 00:36:12,377 Would you mind freeing my arms? 883 00:36:12,411 --> 00:36:14,137 So you can leave? 884 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:16,277 I just thought if you untied my arms, 885 00:36:16,312 --> 00:36:17,485 you could do my nails better. 886 00:36:23,215 --> 00:36:25,148 Ow! 887 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,115 [gasping] 888 00:36:27,150 --> 00:36:28,565 [laughs] 889 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,533 Ow! 890 00:36:30,567 --> 00:36:32,051 What the fuck? 891 00:36:32,086 --> 00:36:34,019 These are my real nails. 892 00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:34,985 They're not glue-ons. 893 00:36:38,092 --> 00:36:41,268 Let me go get some bleach so I can make 'em burn! 894 00:36:41,302 --> 00:36:44,409 [winces] Fuck. 895 00:36:44,443 --> 00:36:45,996 Shit. 896 00:36:46,031 --> 00:36:47,308 Whew! 897 00:36:47,343 --> 00:36:48,482 What the hell. 898 00:36:54,867 --> 00:36:56,800 [laughs] 899 00:36:56,835 --> 00:36:58,285 [liquid splatters] 900 00:36:58,319 --> 00:37:04,222 [screaming] 901 00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:05,361 Peace out, bitch. 902 00:37:05,395 --> 00:37:08,260 I'm giving your salon a one-star rating, fucker! 903 00:37:08,295 --> 00:37:10,676 [energy whooshing] 904 00:37:11,643 --> 00:37:14,473 [heavy metal music] 905 00:37:15,957 --> 00:37:17,683 Mommy is home. 906 00:37:17,718 --> 00:37:22,826 [laughs] Jeez, Kat, your hair. 907 00:37:22,861 --> 00:37:24,000 What about it? 908 00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:26,347 It looks-- it looks nice. 909 00:37:29,005 --> 00:37:30,109 I should find a mirror. 910 00:37:33,492 --> 00:37:37,289 [screams] 911 00:37:37,324 --> 00:37:39,602 I mean, it's only barely unsaveable. 912 00:37:42,398 --> 00:37:44,123 I need to call my husband. 913 00:37:44,158 --> 00:37:45,987 He's well versed in the dark arts. 914 00:37:46,022 --> 00:37:47,541 Yes, Kane's the man with the plan. 915 00:37:47,575 --> 00:37:49,439 That's who we've been trying to get a hold of. 916 00:37:49,474 --> 00:37:50,854 I mean, Kane's a good dude. 917 00:37:50,889 --> 00:37:54,513 He is the first person to teach me how to shred the gnar, brah. 918 00:37:54,548 --> 00:37:55,825 [SARCASTICALLY] Kane. 919 00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:58,621 Oh, Kane, he's so cool. 920 00:37:58,655 --> 00:37:59,898 Fucking Kane. 921 00:37:59,932 --> 00:38:02,625 Fucking Kane! 922 00:38:02,659 --> 00:38:06,974 Hey, bro, who taught you to stand on a skateboard? 923 00:38:07,008 --> 00:38:09,459 You're pushing mongo, for fuck's sake. 924 00:38:09,494 --> 00:38:11,392 Hey, you mutant amateurs! 925 00:38:11,427 --> 00:38:14,257 You choke somebody that long, you're gonna fucking kill 'em! 926 00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:16,742 At least wait for the director to yell action! 927 00:38:16,777 --> 00:38:18,399 JASON: That boy is turning blue. 928 00:38:18,434 --> 00:38:21,782 Just like when I perform autoerotic asphyxiation. 929 00:38:21,816 --> 00:38:23,611 Jason, how many times I got to tell you? 930 00:38:23,646 --> 00:38:25,475 No one wants to hear that crap. 931 00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:27,995 Listen, I can't even nibble on my wife's ear lobes. 932 00:38:28,029 --> 00:38:29,548 Yours lets you choke your chicken 933 00:38:29,583 --> 00:38:31,067 and put a belt around your neck? 934 00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:32,240 Come on! 935 00:38:32,275 --> 00:38:33,656 Someone sounds jealous. 936 00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:35,002 What about butt play? 937 00:38:35,036 --> 00:38:36,831 You know, when your wife introduces toys 938 00:38:36,866 --> 00:38:38,350 into the bedroom, you got it made. 939 00:38:38,385 --> 00:38:40,076 [overlapping chatter] 940 00:38:40,110 --> 00:38:43,838 Uh, Jim, Max is not looking so hot. 941 00:38:43,873 --> 00:38:45,806 I'm sure he's fine. 942 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,290 Walk it off, kid. 943 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,809 Rub some dirt on it. 944 00:38:48,843 --> 00:38:51,467 If we got time, I know where we can hide the bodies. 945 00:38:51,501 --> 00:38:54,332 It's a big desert out there. 946 00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:57,645 I was a volunteer lifeguard at the local swim hole as a boy. 947 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,890 I can help. 948 00:39:00,924 --> 00:39:02,685 [grunts] I'm up. 949 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:03,513 I'm up. 950 00:39:03,548 --> 00:39:04,997 I'm-- I'm up. 951 00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,379 Is anyone else here getting charged up? 952 00:39:07,414 --> 00:39:10,244 Shit, must be a weak signal on that film set. 953 00:39:10,278 --> 00:39:11,176 Just keep trying him. 954 00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:12,453 Maybe his battery's dead. 955 00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:14,006 [KEVIN KRIMSON, "LAST ETERNAL BLISS"] 956 00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:15,939 Yeah, but did he even bring his charger? 957 00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:17,355 Dude's so forgetful. 958 00:39:17,389 --> 00:39:20,910 [scoffs] One too many falls as a young buck, if you ask me. 959 00:39:20,944 --> 00:39:24,292 Shut the fuck up, fuck! 960 00:39:24,327 --> 00:39:26,743 A little bit of a tongue twister there, huh, Kat? 961 00:39:26,778 --> 00:39:30,816 [laughs] 962 00:39:30,851 --> 00:39:33,578 So, listen, why don't you go grab me that board, all right? 963 00:39:33,612 --> 00:39:35,200 I got a great idea. 964 00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:36,201 You have two legs. 965 00:39:36,235 --> 00:39:36,995 Why don't you? 966 00:39:37,029 --> 00:39:37,789 Just do it. 967 00:39:37,823 --> 00:39:39,998 Just do it! 968 00:39:40,032 --> 00:39:42,310 Just. 969 00:39:42,345 --> 00:39:44,727 OK, Shia Almost-buff. 970 00:39:44,761 --> 00:39:45,762 Whatever. 971 00:39:45,797 --> 00:39:47,039 Let me hold the dagger real quick, too. 972 00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:47,902 No way. 973 00:39:47,937 --> 00:39:49,076 You're gonna hurt someone. 974 00:39:49,110 --> 00:39:52,113 Just you if you don't give me that shit. 975 00:39:52,148 --> 00:39:53,908 I thank you. 976 00:39:53,943 --> 00:39:56,497 Excalibur, I have the power! 977 00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:57,843 Oh, boy. 978 00:39:57,878 --> 00:40:00,812 Just don't slice your pecker off-- or do. 979 00:40:00,846 --> 00:40:02,020 You wish. Follow me. 980 00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:03,987 [SINGING] They want us to scare ourselves to death 981 00:40:04,022 --> 00:40:07,957 Give us one last kiss 982 00:40:07,991 --> 00:40:09,441 One last eternal bliss 983 00:40:09,476 --> 00:40:11,547 They want us to scare ourselves to death 984 00:40:11,581 --> 00:40:12,340 Chase! 985 00:40:12,375 --> 00:40:13,307 Ruby! 986 00:40:13,341 --> 00:40:14,170 Fuck! 987 00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:18,450 [SINGING] Give us one last kiss 988 00:40:18,485 --> 00:40:20,797 One last eternal bliss 989 00:40:20,832 --> 00:40:21,936 Ding, ding, ding. 990 00:40:21,971 --> 00:40:23,041 Hello? 991 00:40:23,075 --> 00:40:24,836 What brings you two into the shop today? 992 00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:26,078 Need some new nuts? 993 00:40:26,113 --> 00:40:26,872 Nuts? 994 00:40:26,907 --> 00:40:28,702 I don't get it. 995 00:40:28,736 --> 00:40:30,876 To attach wheels to your trucks. 996 00:40:30,911 --> 00:40:33,741 Dummy, you don't know anything about skating. 997 00:40:33,776 --> 00:40:36,261 I bet you still mall grab your board. 998 00:40:36,295 --> 00:40:39,437 What the fuck does that mean? 999 00:40:39,471 --> 00:40:42,578 Mall grabbing is when you hold your board by the trucks. 1000 00:40:42,612 --> 00:40:44,787 Everybody knows that. 1001 00:40:44,821 --> 00:40:46,029 Whatever. 1002 00:40:46,064 --> 00:40:49,101 Look at your fucking hair, lady. 1003 00:40:49,136 --> 00:40:50,378 I guess she didn't get it. 1004 00:40:50,413 --> 00:40:51,863 You know, punk's dead. Huh? 1005 00:40:51,897 --> 00:40:52,657 - Eh. - Eh? 1006 00:40:52,691 --> 00:40:53,485 Eh. 1007 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,833 [laughs] 1008 00:40:56,868 --> 00:40:58,317 I had a hair emergency, OK? 1009 00:40:58,352 --> 00:40:59,111 Yeah. 1010 00:40:59,146 --> 00:41:00,872 Just tell me what you want. 1011 00:41:00,906 --> 00:41:03,184 OK. 1012 00:41:03,219 --> 00:41:05,635 We're looking for a skateboard, OK? 1013 00:41:05,670 --> 00:41:07,706 I guess you could say it's a special skateboard. 1014 00:41:07,741 --> 00:41:09,950 I guess you could say it really takes you somewhere. 1015 00:41:09,984 --> 00:41:12,608 Do you know where we might be able to find one of those? 1016 00:41:12,642 --> 00:41:13,609 Not here. 1017 00:41:13,643 --> 00:41:15,921 Yep, nope, nothing like that at all. 1018 00:41:15,956 --> 00:41:18,924 Now, if you guys are looking for a board with uneven grip tape, 1019 00:41:18,959 --> 00:41:20,063 I'm your guy. 1020 00:41:20,098 --> 00:41:23,377 Otherwise, no sale. 1021 00:41:23,411 --> 00:41:25,310 They obviously don't know anything, buddy. 1022 00:41:25,344 --> 00:41:26,932 Let's go. 1023 00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:29,176 [indie rock music] 1024 00:41:29,210 --> 00:41:32,213 Are Pinky and the Brain gone? 1025 00:41:32,248 --> 00:41:34,043 I fucking hate those two. 1026 00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:35,803 I need to go find Chase and Ruby. 1027 00:41:35,838 --> 00:41:37,149 Oh, they took the fucking board! 1028 00:41:37,184 --> 00:41:38,323 [RAPPING] Punk-ass motherfuckers want everything 1029 00:41:38,357 --> 00:41:40,152 To be radio fucking friendly, right? 1030 00:41:40,187 --> 00:41:41,637 I don't even know what that means, 1031 00:41:41,671 --> 00:41:44,260 but I don't think that's good. 1032 00:41:44,294 --> 00:41:46,711 Do you guys have the equipment now? 1033 00:41:46,745 --> 00:41:49,058 I mean, last night you come here late. 1034 00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:50,335 You guys are my assistants. 1035 00:41:50,369 --> 00:41:51,785 The only thing you're here to do is 1036 00:41:51,819 --> 00:41:53,925 to help me plant the cameras to get 1037 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:56,237 the upskirt beaver shots for the video we're 1038 00:41:56,272 --> 00:41:58,067 gonna sell to the deep web. 1039 00:41:58,101 --> 00:41:59,965 It's the only way to get me out of the fucking 1040 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,449 jam I'm in right now. 1041 00:42:01,484 --> 00:42:04,038 Everything we have is in this fucking movie. 1042 00:42:04,073 --> 00:42:04,936 That's it. 1043 00:42:04,970 --> 00:42:06,800 So we need more moolah. 1044 00:42:06,834 --> 00:42:07,870 Do you get it? 1045 00:42:07,904 --> 00:42:09,975 The beaver is gonna save me, all right? 1046 00:42:10,010 --> 00:42:10,976 God save the beaver. 1047 00:42:11,011 --> 00:42:13,220 So help me plant the fucking cameras. 1048 00:42:13,254 --> 00:42:14,842 Do you think those beavers are hairy? 1049 00:42:14,877 --> 00:42:16,292 - I hope so, I hope. - Hopefully. 1050 00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:17,293 That's what people want. 1051 00:42:17,327 --> 00:42:18,466 The hairier, the better. 1052 00:42:18,501 --> 00:42:19,260 The more views-- 1053 00:42:19,295 --> 00:42:20,054 Yeah. 1054 00:42:20,089 --> 00:42:21,021 --the more money. 1055 00:42:21,055 --> 00:42:21,987 I love hairy-- 1056 00:42:22,022 --> 00:42:23,264 Hey! 1057 00:42:23,299 --> 00:42:25,128 Filming somebody without their consent, it's a crime. 1058 00:42:25,163 --> 00:42:26,371 We're not filming anything. 1059 00:42:26,405 --> 00:42:29,201 [stuttering] I'm testing out a camera for dad, 1060 00:42:29,236 --> 00:42:30,686 for-- for-- for Jim, my dad Jim. 1061 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:31,479 Come on. 1062 00:42:31,514 --> 00:42:32,515 Come on. 1063 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,034 We're not filming anything. 1064 00:42:34,068 --> 00:42:35,725 We're testing out equipment. Jesus. 1065 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,485 I didn't even get to see no hairy beaver 1066 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,729 or any kind of beaver. 1067 00:42:39,764 --> 00:42:42,214 Boys will be boys. 1068 00:42:42,249 --> 00:42:45,701 Jim, are you gonna reward that kind of behavior? 1069 00:42:45,735 --> 00:42:48,807 That's so immature, even for you. 1070 00:42:48,842 --> 00:42:50,188 Jim can't help it. 1071 00:42:50,222 --> 00:42:52,397 He's a boy in a man's body anyway. 1072 00:42:52,431 --> 00:42:56,677 Jim's no pickle boy, though I am surprised he has a son. 1073 00:42:56,712 --> 00:42:57,471 That's it! 1074 00:42:57,505 --> 00:42:58,265 That's it! 1075 00:42:58,299 --> 00:42:59,542 I've had enough! 1076 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:03,235 Now, everybody shut the fuck up and get back to work. 1077 00:43:03,270 --> 00:43:05,548 You fucking hear what I'm saying? 1078 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,894 Get it! 1079 00:43:06,929 --> 00:43:08,275 Shut up! 1080 00:43:08,309 --> 00:43:10,864 He's ruining my film experience. 1081 00:43:10,898 --> 00:43:12,175 Fuck. 1082 00:43:12,210 --> 00:43:18,181 Uh, this white makeup is looking pale as a ghost on me. 1083 00:43:18,216 --> 00:43:25,568 Listen here, movie mom, no one is going to be looking at you. 1084 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:29,020 I am the star of this movie. 1085 00:43:29,054 --> 00:43:30,538 Like hell you are. 1086 00:43:30,573 --> 00:43:34,473 Did you ever share lines with Harrison Bronco? 1087 00:43:34,508 --> 00:43:37,994 No, I didn't think so. 1088 00:43:38,029 --> 00:43:39,375 Oh, this is fucking great. 1089 00:43:39,409 --> 00:43:41,032 How could you leave me behind like this? 1090 00:43:41,066 --> 00:43:42,343 This is fucking great. 1091 00:43:42,378 --> 00:43:43,621 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck! 1092 00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:44,898 Ah. 1093 00:43:44,932 --> 00:43:46,175 God damn it! 1094 00:43:46,209 --> 00:43:48,039 Why! 1095 00:43:48,073 --> 00:43:50,455 I need better friends! 1096 00:43:50,489 --> 00:43:53,216 One's a fucking gas huffer, the other one's a murderer. 1097 00:43:53,251 --> 00:43:55,494 You did this! 1098 00:43:55,529 --> 00:43:58,152 There's no way they want to go back to hell. 1099 00:43:58,187 --> 00:43:59,740 There's no fucking way. 1100 00:43:59,775 --> 00:44:01,121 I don't know. 1101 00:44:01,155 --> 00:44:03,675 I just-- I got a weird feeling about this. 1102 00:44:03,710 --> 00:44:05,366 Like, what if news travels around hell 1103 00:44:05,401 --> 00:44:07,265 about what I did down there? 1104 00:44:07,299 --> 00:44:09,612 You think the devil gives a shit about what we did? 1105 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,165 I'm serious. 1106 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,650 There's got to be some way the devil 1107 00:44:12,684 --> 00:44:15,411 keeps track of his disciples. 1108 00:44:15,445 --> 00:44:16,930 Look, if the devil is real, he's 1109 00:44:16,964 --> 00:44:19,001 either partying with some hoes or he's scratching 1110 00:44:19,035 --> 00:44:20,485 his big, fat red ass. 1111 00:44:20,519 --> 00:44:23,833 I don't think he's thinking about us. 1112 00:44:23,868 --> 00:44:26,284 Why'd you want the dagger anyway? 1113 00:44:26,318 --> 00:44:29,080 I want to use it to kill my step-daddy. 1114 00:44:29,114 --> 00:44:31,530 Well, I hope it works. 1115 00:44:31,565 --> 00:44:33,394 But prepare for thousands of years worth 1116 00:44:33,429 --> 00:44:36,328 of hard labor if it doesn't. 1117 00:44:36,363 --> 00:44:39,021 Could it be any worse than this place? 1118 00:44:39,055 --> 00:44:41,402 Look, if I get stuck down there, you'd come for me, right? 1119 00:44:41,437 --> 00:44:42,403 You know I would. 1120 00:44:42,438 --> 00:44:43,715 That's all I need to know. 1121 00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:50,135 Someone needs to tell these demons I like to get busy. 1122 00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,519 Good luck, Caleb. 1123 00:44:54,553 --> 00:44:56,314 [THUNDERING ASTEROIDS, "SWALLOW YOUR SOUL"] 1124 00:44:56,348 --> 00:44:57,971 Hey, Kurt, baby, is that you? 1125 00:44:58,005 --> 00:44:59,041 What's the magic word? 1126 00:44:59,075 --> 00:45:00,042 ZACH: Police. 1127 00:45:00,076 --> 00:45:01,388 [SINGING] When I escape from the cell 1128 00:45:01,422 --> 00:45:02,734 Good evening, miss. 1129 00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:07,256 The name's Falk, Zachary C. Falk, homicide detective. 1130 00:45:07,290 --> 00:45:10,742 I'm in the area investigating an incident that happened recently. 1131 00:45:10,777 --> 00:45:12,433 You mind if I ask you a few questions? 1132 00:45:12,468 --> 00:45:13,607 Yeah, sure. Go ahead. 1133 00:45:13,641 --> 00:45:16,575 Do you recall your whereabouts two nights ago? 1134 00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:17,991 I was here in this shop. 1135 00:45:18,025 --> 00:45:19,130 I'm here every night. 1136 00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:21,304 It's so boring. 1137 00:45:21,339 --> 00:45:25,723 Do you recall seeing anything unusual or hearing anything? 1138 00:45:25,757 --> 00:45:26,758 Nope. 1139 00:45:26,793 --> 00:45:27,828 Same old, same old. 1140 00:45:27,863 --> 00:45:30,935 Oh, well, that's a good thing. 1141 00:45:30,969 --> 00:45:33,109 I'd like to show you a picture. 1142 00:45:33,144 --> 00:45:35,111 Does this board look familiar to you? 1143 00:45:35,146 --> 00:45:37,010 [SINGING] Rock and roll will swallow your soul 1144 00:45:37,044 --> 00:45:38,459 OK, actually it does. 1145 00:45:38,494 --> 00:45:39,978 Oh? 1146 00:45:40,013 --> 00:45:41,152 Really? 1147 00:45:41,186 --> 00:45:42,843 How so? 1148 00:45:42,878 --> 00:45:45,052 I feel it's relevant to this case somehow, 1149 00:45:45,087 --> 00:45:47,814 but I haven't really gotten any solid leads yet. 1150 00:45:47,848 --> 00:45:49,436 Well, it looks like one of the boards 1151 00:45:49,470 --> 00:45:51,403 my customers brought in a few weeks ago. 1152 00:45:51,438 --> 00:45:53,302 His name is Kurt, really nice kid. 1153 00:45:53,336 --> 00:45:55,787 [SINGING] Swallow your soul. 1154 00:45:55,822 --> 00:45:59,377 Can you think of any unique identifying features 1155 00:45:59,411 --> 00:46:01,793 that would help find it? 1156 00:46:01,828 --> 00:46:05,555 Kurt likes to sticker bomb the bottom of his board, 1157 00:46:05,590 --> 00:46:06,936 like a sticker collage. 1158 00:46:09,456 --> 00:46:10,595 I get it. 1159 00:46:10,629 --> 00:46:14,116 I look like I'm old, but I'm not really that old. 1160 00:46:14,150 --> 00:46:16,843 This job just ages you. 1161 00:46:16,877 --> 00:46:20,018 And I do know what a sticker bomb is. 1162 00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:21,986 Can you think of anything else? 1163 00:46:22,020 --> 00:46:24,505 Kurt also likes to put the wheels on his board 1164 00:46:24,540 --> 00:46:27,232 backwards to hide the logos. 1165 00:46:27,267 --> 00:46:32,513 That's really observant of you, almost like a super sleuth. 1166 00:46:32,548 --> 00:46:34,170 So, do you have any idea where I might 1167 00:46:34,205 --> 00:46:36,966 be able to find this Kurt kid? 1168 00:46:37,001 --> 00:46:40,004 I know that Kurt and his friends don't have a home, 1169 00:46:40,038 --> 00:46:43,697 but they do like to hang out at the skate park. 1170 00:46:43,731 --> 00:46:45,699 They like to hang out at the skate park a lot. 1171 00:46:45,733 --> 00:46:46,976 OK. 1172 00:46:47,011 --> 00:46:49,254 I spent quite a bit of time there recently, 1173 00:46:49,289 --> 00:46:52,395 but maybe I just missed them. 1174 00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:54,604 So if you can think of anything else that 1175 00:46:54,639 --> 00:46:57,435 might be helpful or want to talk about being a detective, 1176 00:46:57,469 --> 00:46:58,367 here's my card. 1177 00:46:58,401 --> 00:46:59,782 Thank you so much, Officer. 1178 00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:00,576 And, uh-- 1179 00:47:00,610 --> 00:47:01,853 Nice meeting you. 1180 00:47:01,888 --> 00:47:05,788 And if you just want to talk or play with my pistol, 1181 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,721 just give me a call sometime. 1182 00:47:07,755 --> 00:47:10,862 Oh, I can't wait to hold your pistol. 1183 00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:12,760 Well, you have a great night, beautiful. 1184 00:47:12,795 --> 00:47:13,761 Thank you so much. 1185 00:47:13,796 --> 00:47:14,797 Pleasure. 1186 00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,178 Looking forward to holding your pistol. 1187 00:47:16,212 --> 00:47:17,006 Me too. 1188 00:47:19,975 --> 00:47:24,807 [sniffing] 1189 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:25,877 Oh, step daddy. 1190 00:47:25,912 --> 00:47:28,052 [crows cawing] 1191 00:47:29,467 --> 00:47:34,368 Step daddy, it's time to die! 1192 00:47:34,403 --> 00:47:38,510 Where you at, you inbred fuck? 1193 00:47:38,545 --> 00:47:41,755 Junior, are you ready for your math lesson? 1194 00:47:41,789 --> 00:47:44,240 I already told you, I don't give a fuck about math. 1195 00:47:44,275 --> 00:47:47,036 Teach me about the bombing of Dresden. 1196 00:47:47,071 --> 00:47:47,830 Fuck you. 1197 00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,901 [heavy metal music] 1198 00:47:49,936 --> 00:47:51,523 What the fuck, Junior? 1199 00:47:51,558 --> 00:47:54,802 [SINGING] I told you before and I'll tell you again 1200 00:47:54,837 --> 00:47:56,114 Fuck this bullshit! 1201 00:47:56,149 --> 00:47:58,082 It's not like I'm learning anything in fucking algebra. 1202 00:47:58,116 --> 00:47:59,359 This kid is fucking hopeless. 1203 00:47:59,393 --> 00:48:00,739 It's like, I'm fucking failing. 1204 00:48:00,774 --> 00:48:02,017 I don't give a fuck. 1205 00:48:02,051 --> 00:48:02,810 I don't fucking-- 1206 00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:04,295 [pages ripping] 1207 00:48:04,329 --> 00:48:07,850 Fuck this shitty fucking book! 1208 00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:10,680 Hey, uh, does anyone want to play a card game? 1209 00:48:10,715 --> 00:48:13,545 It's, uh, in another language. 1210 00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:17,687 But I'm pretty sure I can teach you all. 1211 00:48:17,722 --> 00:48:18,481 Not now. 1212 00:48:18,516 --> 00:48:20,414 Thanks, dude. 1213 00:48:20,449 --> 00:48:22,175 I'd be up for a game of strip poker. 1214 00:48:23,866 --> 00:48:29,320 Um, well, unfortunately, it's kind of a family-oriented, 1215 00:48:29,354 --> 00:48:30,838 wholesome sort of game. 1216 00:48:30,873 --> 00:48:31,805 So it's not like that. 1217 00:48:31,839 --> 00:48:33,841 But thank you, though, Benji. 1218 00:48:33,876 --> 00:48:38,087 [SINGING] Put his vengeance on you any day 1219 00:48:38,122 --> 00:48:39,813 Control our lives 1220 00:48:39,847 --> 00:48:40,987 Oh, it's your turn, homie. 1221 00:48:41,021 --> 00:48:41,780 Oh. 1222 00:48:41,815 --> 00:48:43,644 That is all mine. 1223 00:48:43,679 --> 00:48:48,270 Strip it, strip it, strip it, strip it, strip it. 1224 00:48:48,304 --> 00:48:51,652 [gentle music] 1225 00:48:56,968 --> 00:48:58,176 Hello down there. 1226 00:49:01,593 --> 00:49:03,733 Can I help you? 1227 00:49:03,768 --> 00:49:06,805 When's the last time you had a warm meal? 1228 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,878 Well, let's just say, I've been on an all liquid diet 1229 00:49:10,913 --> 00:49:12,121 since I got to town. 1230 00:49:12,156 --> 00:49:14,434 [chuckles] It shows. 1231 00:49:14,468 --> 00:49:16,194 You look like hell. 1232 00:49:16,229 --> 00:49:20,026 Aw, thanks for noticing. 1233 00:49:20,060 --> 00:49:24,478 Hey, would you consider going into the shelter with me? 1234 00:49:24,513 --> 00:49:26,687 They're very nice to people like us-- 1235 00:49:26,722 --> 00:49:29,069 free food, free board. 1236 00:49:29,104 --> 00:49:32,038 The only thing not on the table is sex. 1237 00:49:35,558 --> 00:49:37,043 Whatever you say. 1238 00:49:37,077 --> 00:49:37,871 Well, good. 1239 00:49:37,905 --> 00:49:38,665 Come on. 1240 00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:39,873 Lead the way. 1241 00:49:39,907 --> 00:49:41,392 [groans] 1242 00:49:41,426 --> 00:49:45,016 You're gonna like it in there. 1243 00:49:45,051 --> 00:49:45,844 Come on. 1244 00:49:49,331 --> 00:49:52,541 CHASE: I know you hear me. 1245 00:49:52,575 --> 00:49:53,404 What you want to do? 1246 00:49:53,438 --> 00:49:56,648 You want to beat me again? 1247 00:49:56,683 --> 00:49:58,029 Fucking not feed me for days? 1248 00:50:02,068 --> 00:50:03,862 I'm not so little no more. 1249 00:50:06,417 --> 00:50:07,866 Abuse my mother in front of me? 1250 00:50:13,217 --> 00:50:15,495 You have any idea what you did to me? 1251 00:50:15,529 --> 00:50:17,083 You know what my life is like now? 1252 00:50:19,844 --> 00:50:24,124 A fucking addict, fucking sick all the time. 1253 00:50:32,408 --> 00:50:33,202 Fuck. 1254 00:50:33,237 --> 00:50:34,410 [body thuds] 1255 00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,656 [unsettling music] 1256 00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,045 [board thuds] 1257 00:50:51,565 --> 00:50:55,328 Hey, good luck getting out of here without your skateboard. 1258 00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:58,572 I think he was gonna use this dagger on us. 1259 00:50:58,607 --> 00:50:59,815 Yeah? 1260 00:50:59,849 --> 00:51:01,989 Well, let's see how well she cuts. 1261 00:51:02,024 --> 00:51:03,750 Yeah, have at it, boss. 1262 00:51:03,784 --> 00:51:05,372 Fuck you, man. 1263 00:51:05,407 --> 00:51:06,787 You know, I've been living in hell 1264 00:51:06,822 --> 00:51:08,272 for years because of your ass. 1265 00:51:08,306 --> 00:51:09,618 Yeah? 1266 00:51:09,652 --> 00:51:13,311 So why the fuck would you think this place would scare me? 1267 00:51:13,346 --> 00:51:15,486 Funny thing is, after you OD'ed, I thought 1268 00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,109 I'd never get a chance to tell you how much I fucking hate you! 1269 00:51:18,144 --> 00:51:21,008 [laughs] Good night. 1270 00:51:21,043 --> 00:51:22,458 [knife slices] 1271 00:51:32,158 --> 00:51:34,643 Edith, what did I tell you about bringing in strays 1272 00:51:34,677 --> 00:51:35,885 in the middle of the night? 1273 00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,095 He could be a druggie or a serial killer. 1274 00:51:38,129 --> 00:51:41,132 I'm so sorry, Dutch, but he looked like he 1275 00:51:41,167 --> 00:51:43,410 was really down on his luck. 1276 00:51:43,445 --> 00:51:44,618 I'm sure he's harmless. 1277 00:51:44,653 --> 00:51:45,688 Yeah, we'll find out. 1278 00:51:45,723 --> 00:51:46,586 Hey, what's your name? 1279 00:51:46,620 --> 00:51:47,449 My name? 1280 00:51:47,483 --> 00:51:49,589 Well, my earthly name is Howard. 1281 00:51:49,623 --> 00:51:52,281 But downstairs, they call me Haagenti. 1282 00:51:55,526 --> 00:51:56,458 Oh, yeah, he's crazy. 1283 00:51:56,492 --> 00:51:58,425 You done did it again, Edith. 1284 00:51:58,460 --> 00:51:59,944 So where can I crash for the night? 1285 00:51:59,978 --> 00:52:01,601 Well, if you behave yourself, you can 1286 00:52:01,635 --> 00:52:02,981 crash down the hall over there. 1287 00:52:03,016 --> 00:52:05,467 Man, this used to be a swingers club, but we go to bed here, 1288 00:52:05,501 --> 00:52:06,744 9:30 sharp. 1289 00:52:06,778 --> 00:52:09,333 Oh, and if you use the restroom 1290 00:52:09,367 --> 00:52:13,406 and you see the numbers on the wall, don't call them. 1291 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,097 They're all hos. 1292 00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:19,136 I know that from personal experience. 1293 00:52:19,170 --> 00:52:20,378 So, what's for breakfast? 1294 00:52:20,413 --> 00:52:23,347 Well, if I'm in a good mood, French toast sticks. 1295 00:52:23,381 --> 00:52:25,866 If I'm not, plain oatmeal. 1296 00:52:25,901 --> 00:52:27,213 Hmm. 1297 00:52:27,247 --> 00:52:29,387 Well, I appreciate your kindness. 1298 00:52:29,422 --> 00:52:30,285 Nighty night. 1299 00:52:30,319 --> 00:52:31,838 I hope the bedbugs do bite. 1300 00:52:31,872 --> 00:52:33,115 [laughs] - Hey, wait, wait. 1301 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:34,979 You see that bike over there? That's my bike. 1302 00:52:35,013 --> 00:52:36,463 Don't touch that bike. It's mine. 1303 00:52:36,498 --> 00:52:38,051 I'm the guard of the bike. 1304 00:52:38,085 --> 00:52:42,607 And this bike's clutch only moves for Dutch. 1305 00:52:42,642 --> 00:52:43,850 Nighty night. 1306 00:52:43,884 --> 00:52:44,678 Nighty night. 1307 00:52:51,996 --> 00:52:53,963 Well, home sweet home. 1308 00:52:53,998 --> 00:52:56,966 [gentle music] 1309 00:52:59,969 --> 00:53:01,937 [farting] 1310 00:53:01,971 --> 00:53:04,457 Ah! 1311 00:53:04,491 --> 00:53:06,631 Nothing like a good ass rip before bedtime. 1312 00:53:10,463 --> 00:53:11,291 Can't breathe! 1313 00:53:11,326 --> 00:53:12,672 Can't breathe! 1314 00:53:12,706 --> 00:53:14,156 Pull down the covers. 1315 00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,159 [gasping] 1316 00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:18,298 Dude, I'm sorry. 1317 00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:19,989 I thought I was alone in here. 1318 00:53:20,024 --> 00:53:21,508 This is Franklin's room. 1319 00:53:21,543 --> 00:53:24,373 I've been staying here since this was a swingers club. 1320 00:53:24,408 --> 00:53:26,479 Ah, man. 1321 00:53:26,513 --> 00:53:28,274 Well, how'd you like my gas? 1322 00:53:28,308 --> 00:53:29,654 You call that gas? 1323 00:53:29,689 --> 00:53:31,311 That was weak. 1324 00:53:31,346 --> 00:53:32,519 What? 1325 00:53:32,554 --> 00:53:35,177 If you wanted to have a fart fight competition, 1326 00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,868 you should have just told me. 1327 00:53:36,903 --> 00:53:37,869 [grunts] 1328 00:53:37,904 --> 00:53:40,251 [farts] There. 1329 00:53:40,286 --> 00:53:41,563 Oh, yeah? 1330 00:53:41,597 --> 00:53:43,530 [farting] 1331 00:53:44,359 --> 00:53:45,222 Nah, here. 1332 00:53:45,256 --> 00:53:46,326 [farts] 1333 00:53:47,189 --> 00:53:48,915 Oh, yeah? 1334 00:53:48,949 --> 00:53:50,882 [farting, grunting] 1335 00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:51,849 Ah! 1336 00:53:51,883 --> 00:53:53,126 Ah, my eyes! 1337 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:54,817 [farting, grunting] 1338 00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:55,749 Franklin gives up! 1339 00:53:55,784 --> 00:53:56,543 I give up. 1340 00:53:56,578 --> 00:53:57,682 [laughs] 1341 00:53:57,717 --> 00:54:00,789 Oh, my eyes are burning. 1342 00:54:00,823 --> 00:54:02,308 My butt trumpet always wins. 1343 00:54:02,342 --> 00:54:06,898 [laughs] You'll be all right. 1344 00:54:06,933 --> 00:54:08,866 We'll get some salve or something. 1345 00:54:08,900 --> 00:54:10,281 OK. 1346 00:54:10,316 --> 00:54:11,386 Let's get some sleep. 1347 00:54:11,420 --> 00:54:12,594 Come on, Franklin. 1348 00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:14,423 You're my new best friend. 1349 00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:15,355 Hey! 1350 00:54:15,390 --> 00:54:16,253 Keep it down in there! 1351 00:54:16,287 --> 00:54:17,323 It's after 9:30! 1352 00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:18,496 Don't make me come in there! 1353 00:54:18,531 --> 00:54:21,223 Turn them lights out! 1354 00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:25,641 Oh, Dutch, what's all the racket? 1355 00:54:25,676 --> 00:54:27,643 Oh, he's making a ruckus in there. 1356 00:54:27,678 --> 00:54:32,338 [groans] Smells like shit in here. 1357 00:54:32,372 --> 00:54:35,962 Hey, Dutch, be nice to all those people. 1358 00:54:35,996 --> 00:54:36,997 Yeah. 1359 00:54:37,032 --> 00:54:39,517 It's tough out there on the streets. 1360 00:54:39,552 --> 00:54:40,311 Yeah. 1361 00:54:40,346 --> 00:54:43,314 Here, pull my finger. 1362 00:54:43,349 --> 00:54:45,040 [farting] 1363 00:54:45,074 --> 00:54:45,834 Oh! 1364 00:54:45,868 --> 00:54:47,491 [laughs] 1365 00:54:47,525 --> 00:54:49,631 Damn, it tastes like corn. 1366 00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:50,804 What did you have for dinner? 1367 00:54:50,839 --> 00:54:52,012 [laughs] 1368 00:54:52,047 --> 00:54:52,841 Oh, gosh. 1369 00:54:56,500 --> 00:54:58,881 [wheels squeaking] 1370 00:54:59,882 --> 00:55:02,609 Hey, hey. 1371 00:55:02,644 --> 00:55:04,301 Eat up, my Excellency. 1372 00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,993 How can you run hell on an empty stomach? 1373 00:55:07,027 --> 00:55:09,133 I'm not hungry. 1374 00:55:09,167 --> 00:55:11,204 I don't deserve to eat. 1375 00:55:11,238 --> 00:55:16,796 My son is still missing somewhere up there. 1376 00:55:16,830 --> 00:55:20,558 [sighs] Sir, if I may. 1377 00:55:20,593 --> 00:55:23,492 Do you remember the last time Howard went missing in the '60s? 1378 00:55:23,527 --> 00:55:24,804 It's just as long. 1379 00:55:24,838 --> 00:55:26,150 What was he doing? 1380 00:55:26,184 --> 00:55:29,705 He was picking off hippies by the Bay under a fake name. 1381 00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:31,466 And he came back. 1382 00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:34,607 He will come back. 1383 00:55:34,641 --> 00:55:38,024 You always know just what to say, don't you? 1384 00:55:38,058 --> 00:55:40,785 Now, pass the eyeball stew with extra garlic entrails. 1385 00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:41,683 Woo! 1386 00:55:41,717 --> 00:55:44,686 Oh, score! 1387 00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:49,207 Still a bottle of my favorite hot sauce, colon-destroying, 1388 00:55:49,242 --> 00:55:52,728 just like I like it. 1389 00:55:52,763 --> 00:55:57,768 Dark Lord, a young man has been murdered. 1390 00:55:57,802 --> 00:56:01,323 He's broken into one of our personal hell simulators. 1391 00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,221 They struck him down before his time. 1392 00:56:03,256 --> 00:56:05,914 Uh-oh. 1393 00:56:05,948 --> 00:56:08,192 That is not good. 1394 00:56:08,226 --> 00:56:11,851 An early death isn't properly recorded. 1395 00:56:11,885 --> 00:56:14,405 The man upstairs will chew me out for this. 1396 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,443 As well as your son Howard has allowed his skateboard 1397 00:56:17,477 --> 00:56:19,445 to fall into the wrong hands. 1398 00:56:19,479 --> 00:56:21,412 How would you like me to proceed? 1399 00:56:21,447 --> 00:56:26,969 I think it's time for me to get off my big, red ass 1400 00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,386 and retrieve my boy. 1401 00:56:29,420 --> 00:56:33,044 But sire, hell will go to hell without you. 1402 00:56:33,079 --> 00:56:36,323 Who will run the trains and make sure that they are on time? 1403 00:56:36,358 --> 00:56:39,361 You, along with my personal security 1404 00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:42,571 guards, Virgil and Hogan. 1405 00:56:42,606 --> 00:56:43,572 You summoned us? 1406 00:56:43,607 --> 00:56:45,022 Reporting for duty, sir. 1407 00:56:45,056 --> 00:56:46,057 Yes. 1408 00:56:46,092 --> 00:56:49,889 It appears my son may be in danger. 1409 00:56:49,923 --> 00:56:55,998 I must visit the Earth's surface, sort this thing out. 1410 00:56:56,033 --> 00:56:57,931 You can count on us to hold the fort down. 1411 00:56:57,966 --> 00:56:58,794 Oh, yeah. 1412 00:56:58,829 --> 00:57:02,626 No funny business on our watch. 1413 00:57:02,660 --> 00:57:03,834 Good. 1414 00:57:03,868 --> 00:57:06,664 Mother Earth has given me a vision. 1415 00:57:06,699 --> 00:57:10,910 She says she will swallow Howard by the morning, 1416 00:57:10,944 --> 00:57:12,981 although she will not enjoy the taste. 1417 00:57:13,015 --> 00:57:14,638 [chuckles] 1418 00:57:14,672 --> 00:57:16,743 I can't take that chance. 1419 00:57:16,778 --> 00:57:19,643 Time for me to take matters into my own hands. 1420 00:57:19,677 --> 00:57:22,473 [mop sloshing] 1421 00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:27,064 This isn't doing anything! 1422 00:57:27,098 --> 00:57:29,963 [heavy metal music] 1423 00:57:30,930 --> 00:57:34,140 [spits] Hey, guys, I think I found 1424 00:57:34,174 --> 00:57:36,556 out how to track Ruby's phone. I think I know where she's at. 1425 00:57:36,591 --> 00:57:38,420 BUCK: Well, what about your partner in crime? 1426 00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,905 What's his name, Caleb Chase? 1427 00:57:40,940 --> 00:57:42,459 Chase? - Chase? 1428 00:57:42,493 --> 00:57:43,494 Yeah, he's not answering. 1429 00:57:43,529 --> 00:57:44,495 His phone's dead. 1430 00:57:44,530 --> 00:57:46,186 But those two are stuck at the hip. 1431 00:57:46,221 --> 00:57:48,430 They act like each other's keepers. 1432 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:50,397 I wish I had a keeper. 1433 00:57:50,432 --> 00:57:53,090 Kane said we could come by the set later to show him the board. 1434 00:57:53,124 --> 00:57:54,298 Let's go find it. 1435 00:57:54,332 --> 00:57:56,265 I mean, the tracking app might be a dead end, 1436 00:57:56,300 --> 00:57:57,543 but it's worth a shot, so. 1437 00:57:57,577 --> 00:57:59,648 Hey, Kurt, I forgot to tell you. 1438 00:57:59,683 --> 00:58:02,202 Last night at the shop, the detective was snooping around, 1439 00:58:02,237 --> 00:58:03,894 asking questions about you. 1440 00:58:03,928 --> 00:58:05,274 I think you're a suspect. 1441 00:58:05,309 --> 00:58:06,241 Suspect? 1442 00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:07,656 That's fucking rich. 1443 00:58:07,691 --> 00:58:09,900 I've kept my hands clean since juvie. 1444 00:58:09,934 --> 00:58:11,039 Don't worry, Kurt. 1445 00:58:11,073 --> 00:58:13,386 If I see the cops, I'll give you a warning. 1446 00:58:13,420 --> 00:58:14,801 Thanks for the heads up, Buck. 1447 00:58:14,836 --> 00:58:16,665 Come on, Kat. 1448 00:58:16,700 --> 00:58:18,425 All right, good morning, everyone. 1449 00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:20,427 I hope that you all slept well. 1450 00:58:20,462 --> 00:58:22,809 Stop talking about me. 1451 00:58:22,844 --> 00:58:24,052 Time to get your grub on. 1452 00:58:24,086 --> 00:58:26,882 Um, Jane and I slaved over a hot microwave 1453 00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:28,988 to get you this breakfast. 1454 00:58:29,022 --> 00:58:29,851 I'm starving. 1455 00:58:29,885 --> 00:58:31,369 I hope they have quiche Lorraine. 1456 00:58:31,404 --> 00:58:33,993 I could be a Pop Tart myself. 1457 00:58:34,027 --> 00:58:35,684 Stop talking about me. 1458 00:58:35,719 --> 00:58:37,410 You know, I'm pretty happy with whatever 1459 00:58:37,444 --> 00:58:39,136 these guys throw my way. 1460 00:58:39,170 --> 00:58:41,483 When I was a runaway, I joined the circus. 1461 00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:44,762 And my ringmaster used to take my cotton candy daily! 1462 00:58:44,797 --> 00:58:46,453 Pal, take it down a notch. 1463 00:58:46,488 --> 00:58:48,421 We don't want to hear your whole life story. 1464 00:58:48,455 --> 00:58:51,217 I was a tightrope walker. 1465 00:58:51,251 --> 00:58:53,530 Yeah, and I got the stomach jumblies pretty bad. 1466 00:58:53,564 --> 00:58:54,634 It was embarrassing. 1467 00:58:54,669 --> 00:58:56,015 They got rid of me pretty quick. 1468 00:58:56,049 --> 00:58:59,466 Stop talking about me. 1469 00:58:59,501 --> 00:59:03,160 Hey, I'm really sorry about your face, Franklin. 1470 00:59:03,194 --> 00:59:05,438 It's just that sometimes my sphincter 1471 00:59:05,472 --> 00:59:07,371 doesn't know its own strength. 1472 00:59:07,405 --> 00:59:08,855 Hey, no skin off my face. 1473 00:59:08,890 --> 00:59:12,514 [laughs] Good one. 1474 00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:13,653 That's a good one. 1475 00:59:13,688 --> 00:59:17,105 I will win the next fart contest against you. 1476 00:59:17,139 --> 00:59:18,002 That's the spirit. 1477 00:59:18,037 --> 00:59:18,796 Awesome. 1478 00:59:18,831 --> 00:59:20,280 [laughs] 1479 00:59:20,315 --> 00:59:22,662 Maybe I'll put some more of this aloe vera on here. 1480 00:59:22,697 --> 00:59:23,974 Yeah, I think it's helping. 1481 00:59:24,008 --> 00:59:25,769 [winces] 1482 00:59:25,803 --> 00:59:27,046 This place is bullshit. 1483 00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,219 More oatmeal? 1484 00:59:28,254 --> 00:59:29,427 How will I ever make-- stay in my weight class 1485 00:59:29,462 --> 00:59:31,153 with these elementary school portions? 1486 00:59:31,188 --> 00:59:32,292 That's enough, Cage. 1487 00:59:32,327 --> 00:59:33,673 Now, I understand you're training 1488 00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:36,227 to be one of them fighters, but up in this place, 1489 00:59:36,262 --> 00:59:38,057 nobody gets a larger portion than the other. 1490 00:59:38,091 --> 00:59:39,403 Don't make me throw your ass out. 1491 00:59:39,437 --> 00:59:40,197 Please don't. 1492 00:59:40,231 --> 00:59:41,060 It's cold out there. 1493 00:59:41,094 --> 00:59:42,233 Yeah, I know. 1494 00:59:42,268 --> 00:59:44,028 But consider yourself up in here a lightweight. 1495 00:59:44,063 --> 00:59:46,306 Now, nobody gives me gluttony up in my shelter. 1496 00:59:46,341 --> 00:59:47,204 You hear that? 1497 00:59:47,238 --> 00:59:48,067 Amen. 1498 00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:49,102 Praise him. 1499 00:59:49,137 --> 00:59:50,690 No gluttony. 1500 00:59:50,725 --> 00:59:52,589 Praise him. 1501 00:59:52,623 --> 00:59:54,936 Where the hell did you come from? 1502 00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:56,938 I'm everywhere and nowhere. 1503 00:59:56,972 --> 00:59:59,250 It's wherever the good Lord leads me. 1504 00:59:59,285 --> 01:00:02,046 Well, aren't you something else? 1505 01:00:02,081 --> 01:00:03,151 Where's your sister? 1506 01:00:03,185 --> 01:00:04,601 Hmm. 1507 01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:06,879 Her and I are not speaking at the moment. 1508 01:00:06,913 --> 01:00:10,745 Oh, well, here they come. 1509 01:00:10,779 --> 01:00:12,022 Yeah, speak of the devil. 1510 01:00:12,056 --> 01:00:13,610 Look what the cat dragged in. 1511 01:00:13,644 --> 01:00:15,646 Hello, Sister Nancy. 1512 01:00:15,681 --> 01:00:17,268 How's it hanging? 1513 01:00:17,303 --> 01:00:18,684 You two are very late. 1514 01:00:18,718 --> 01:00:21,583 And, Sister, your habit is crooked. 1515 01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,344 And Father Maurice, you are very sweaty. 1516 01:00:24,379 --> 01:00:28,832 Well, we-- we weren't partaking in sinful acts. 1517 01:00:28,866 --> 01:00:31,628 No, I haven't thought about the male anatomy 1518 01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:37,357 since seminary school, unlike you, little heathen. 1519 01:00:37,392 --> 01:00:39,843 You'll be judged for your sins. 1520 01:00:39,877 --> 01:00:42,259 Oh, I hope so. 1521 01:00:42,293 --> 01:00:45,055 I hope hell is ready for Nun Nell. 1522 01:00:45,089 --> 01:00:46,884 These poor souls. 1523 01:00:46,919 --> 01:00:48,817 This place is quite a dump. 1524 01:00:48,852 --> 01:00:50,439 I think I need a tetanus shot. 1525 01:00:53,408 --> 01:00:54,823 You got something to say to me? 1526 01:00:54,858 --> 01:00:56,618 If you don't like the way I run my shelter, 1527 01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,206 you can just get out. 1528 01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,795 My bad. 1529 01:01:00,829 --> 01:01:04,937 This place is drab, but garish. 1530 01:01:04,971 --> 01:01:07,836 It's kind of like a brothel. 1531 01:01:07,871 --> 01:01:09,769 Well, that's because it was, Father. 1532 01:01:09,804 --> 01:01:11,288 And it's cheap rent. 1533 01:01:11,322 --> 01:01:13,531 Greetings, everyone! 1534 01:01:13,566 --> 01:01:15,913 I hope you're all prepared to be shocked 1535 01:01:15,948 --> 01:01:20,159 and amazed at the performance I'm giving later today. 1536 01:01:20,193 --> 01:01:24,819 My power to hypnotize will be put to the test! 1537 01:01:24,853 --> 01:01:29,996 [yells] 1538 01:01:30,031 --> 01:01:32,930 It says we're right here. 1539 01:01:32,965 --> 01:01:36,347 Oh, there she is, and the board. 1540 01:01:36,382 --> 01:01:38,246 You think she's just passed out maybe? 1541 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,732 She doesn't look so good. 1542 01:01:41,767 --> 01:01:43,492 Where's Chase? 1543 01:01:43,527 --> 01:01:44,562 Who cares? 1544 01:01:44,597 --> 01:01:46,116 He's probably having a meeting with a Hat 1545 01:01:46,150 --> 01:01:47,738 Man in some drugged-out stupor. 1546 01:01:47,773 --> 01:01:50,845 He's so fucked up on drugs, he sometimes sleeps for three days 1547 01:01:50,879 --> 01:01:52,122 straight. 1548 01:01:52,156 --> 01:01:53,744 How does he go to the bathroom? 1549 01:01:53,779 --> 01:01:55,159 He pisses in a jar. 1550 01:01:55,194 --> 01:01:57,679 He learned it from a video game streamer. 1551 01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:59,439 Let's get the board and get out of here. 1552 01:01:59,474 --> 01:02:00,820 This place gives me the creeps. 1553 01:02:00,855 --> 01:02:02,649 Yeah. 1554 01:02:02,684 --> 01:02:06,136 [soft dramatic music] 1555 01:02:15,076 --> 01:02:15,870 Sorry, Ruby. 1556 01:02:20,288 --> 01:02:22,048 Now we can bring it back to Kane. 1557 01:02:22,083 --> 01:02:23,532 Let's go to the set now. 1558 01:02:23,567 --> 01:02:25,811 Yeah 1559 01:02:25,845 --> 01:02:27,709 [door opens] 1560 01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:30,091 [ominous music] 1561 01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:33,025 Hey, devil man! 1562 01:02:33,059 --> 01:02:35,165 You looking for some party favors? 1563 01:02:35,199 --> 01:02:38,409 'Cause I got the best booger sugar this side 1564 01:02:38,444 --> 01:02:40,101 of the northern hemisphere. 1565 01:02:40,135 --> 01:02:41,378 He's not lying. 1566 01:02:41,412 --> 01:02:45,623 My brother Ross, top supplier for the demonoids. 1567 01:02:45,658 --> 01:02:48,350 And he only cuts his powder with a little bit of baby laxative. 1568 01:02:48,385 --> 01:02:49,973 Damn it, Debbie, you weren't supposed 1569 01:02:50,007 --> 01:02:52,009 to actually say that part. 1570 01:02:52,044 --> 01:02:53,700 This is why dad had us whacked. 1571 01:02:53,735 --> 01:02:55,461 Well, do you think Satan really cares? 1572 01:02:55,495 --> 01:02:58,222 He looks like he eats nails for breakfast. 1573 01:02:58,257 --> 01:03:00,466 Actually, I do. 1574 01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:07,059 Now, if you kids will get out of my way, I have places to be. 1575 01:03:07,093 --> 01:03:09,716 See you later, Devil Daddy. 1576 01:03:09,751 --> 01:03:12,443 [distant wailing, moaning] 1577 01:03:13,237 --> 01:03:15,308 Oh! 1578 01:03:15,343 --> 01:03:17,138 I got one. 1579 01:03:17,172 --> 01:03:19,796 Mm. 1580 01:03:19,830 --> 01:03:20,762 Oh. 1581 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,316 Mm. 1582 01:03:23,351 --> 01:03:26,630 Greetings, king of the bottomless pit. 1583 01:03:26,664 --> 01:03:31,946 Hey, it's me, your infernal bathroom attendant, Marty. 1584 01:03:31,980 --> 01:03:36,709 Would you care for a hotel or maybe a tasty urinal cake? 1585 01:03:36,743 --> 01:03:38,021 The used ones are the tastiest. 1586 01:03:40,575 --> 01:03:43,336 HELL DEVIL: Are you loco? 1587 01:03:43,371 --> 01:03:45,304 Can't you see I have a mission at hand? 1588 01:03:45,338 --> 01:03:47,651 [stutters] I'm sorry. 1589 01:03:47,685 --> 01:03:48,755 I'm sorry. 1590 01:03:48,790 --> 01:03:50,930 I should have known better not to interrupt 1591 01:03:50,965 --> 01:03:52,794 somebody during a good BM. 1592 01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:54,831 Bad, bad, bad. 1593 01:03:54,865 --> 01:03:55,935 Carry on. 1594 01:03:55,970 --> 01:04:00,215 Hey, the boss isn't here to do his business. 1595 01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:03,046 Actually, I am. 1596 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:07,947 But right afterwards, Chuckles, Dagon, and I 1597 01:04:07,982 --> 01:04:14,505 are using this stall as a portal to visit the Earth's surface. 1598 01:04:14,540 --> 01:04:20,028 It is time to retrieve my son. 1599 01:04:20,063 --> 01:04:22,513 [footsteps] 1600 01:04:27,415 --> 01:04:29,348 [portal ringing] 1601 01:04:29,382 --> 01:04:30,867 [door thuds] 1602 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,563 [coughing] Oh. 1603 01:04:37,597 --> 01:04:41,153 I forgot how shapeshifting does a number on my poor back. 1604 01:04:41,187 --> 01:04:43,431 Dark Lord, you look different. 1605 01:04:43,465 --> 01:04:46,675 Yeah, have you done something different with your hair? 1606 01:04:46,710 --> 01:04:48,298 I changed shampoos. 1607 01:04:48,332 --> 01:04:49,920 You two are fools. 1608 01:04:49,955 --> 01:04:52,474 Obviously, I had to take on a new form. 1609 01:04:52,509 --> 01:04:55,132 Do you believe I could walk among earthlings 1610 01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:58,032 looking like someone out of a Goosepimples book? 1611 01:04:58,066 --> 01:04:59,447 I suppose not. 1612 01:04:59,481 --> 01:05:00,758 The new look suits you. 1613 01:05:00,793 --> 01:05:04,348 Yeah, you have kind eyes, like somebody 1614 01:05:04,383 --> 01:05:06,523 you can trust not to gut you. 1615 01:05:06,557 --> 01:05:08,007 Enough with the compliments. 1616 01:05:08,042 --> 01:05:09,526 I'll get a big head. 1617 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,942 We're here for one reason and one reason only-- 1618 01:05:11,977 --> 01:05:13,875 to find my son. 1619 01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:15,739 Don't forget about the missing skateboard. 1620 01:05:15,773 --> 01:05:18,328 Are you implying I would forget about the board? 1621 01:05:18,362 --> 01:05:20,813 Listen, my body may have changed, 1622 01:05:20,847 --> 01:05:27,337 but I will give you a beating if you sass me one more time. 1623 01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:28,648 My mistake. 1624 01:05:28,683 --> 01:05:30,029 Where should we begin our search? 1625 01:05:30,064 --> 01:05:30,823 Not here. 1626 01:05:30,857 --> 01:05:33,722 [sniffs] I can't smell him. 1627 01:05:33,757 --> 01:05:36,933 All I smell is moose pies and cowboy nuts. 1628 01:05:36,967 --> 01:05:40,074 If Howard is still on this planet with his board, 1629 01:05:40,108 --> 01:05:42,455 this device will find him. 1630 01:05:42,490 --> 01:05:44,354 [gravel crunching] 1631 01:05:45,286 --> 01:05:46,528 Hey, man, snap out of it. 1632 01:05:46,563 --> 01:05:48,875 What's going on with you, Kurt? 1633 01:05:48,910 --> 01:05:51,154 Dude, you've been zoning out! 1634 01:05:51,188 --> 01:05:52,879 Hey! 1635 01:05:52,914 --> 01:05:54,847 What's your problem? 1636 01:05:54,881 --> 01:05:55,641 I don't know. 1637 01:05:55,675 --> 01:05:56,953 It's-- it's this board. 1638 01:05:56,987 --> 01:05:58,644 When you stare in its eyes, it's like it 1639 01:05:58,678 --> 01:06:00,715 tempts you with everything you ever wanted. 1640 01:06:00,749 --> 01:06:02,648 Maybe you shouldn't be looking at it so much. 1641 01:06:05,306 --> 01:06:07,687 Yeah. 1642 01:06:07,722 --> 01:06:08,965 What gives? 1643 01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:11,312 The board's not here. 1644 01:06:11,346 --> 01:06:13,314 All the coordinates are correct. 1645 01:06:13,348 --> 01:06:16,973 My liege, do you think she could be of some help to us? 1646 01:06:17,007 --> 01:06:19,976 I'm going to incapacitate her mental awareness. 1647 01:06:20,010 --> 01:06:23,531 We can't have any witnesses blabbing about us. 1648 01:06:23,565 --> 01:06:25,326 Be foolish. 1649 01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:27,466 Become foolish. 1650 01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:29,951 [energy whirring] 1651 01:06:37,717 --> 01:06:39,685 Oh, I like 'em crazy. 1652 01:06:39,719 --> 01:06:41,514 Can she be my new pet? 1653 01:06:41,549 --> 01:06:43,689 Come on, boys, let's go find the board. 1654 01:06:50,523 --> 01:06:51,766 EZRA: Can I get your attention? 1655 01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:52,767 Everybody, over here! 1656 01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:55,977 Welcome to the party of the century. 1657 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:56,771 Yeah! 1658 01:06:56,805 --> 01:06:57,979 My name is Ezra. 1659 01:06:58,014 --> 01:07:00,257 I'm going to be your party emcee for the night. 1660 01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,846 When the devil's away, the fallen angels will play. 1661 01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:03,640 Am I right? 1662 01:07:03,674 --> 01:07:05,538 Am I right? 1663 01:07:05,573 --> 01:07:07,333 This party's kind of getting out of hand. 1664 01:07:07,368 --> 01:07:09,404 You think it's time to shut it down? 1665 01:07:09,439 --> 01:07:10,854 Why? 1666 01:07:10,888 --> 01:07:14,202 It's the most fun us demons can have, with or without pants on. 1667 01:07:14,237 --> 01:07:14,996 You know what? 1668 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,273 You're right. 1669 01:07:16,308 --> 01:07:20,036 I think it's time to get a raw steak and chew on it. 1670 01:07:20,070 --> 01:07:23,453 [kissing] 1671 01:07:23,487 --> 01:07:25,420 [neck crunches] 1672 01:07:25,455 --> 01:07:28,423 [kissing] 1673 01:07:34,843 --> 01:07:37,294 [smacking lips] 1674 01:07:47,201 --> 01:07:51,101 Hey, guys, are you OK? 1675 01:07:51,136 --> 01:07:56,934 Do you need a lift or maybe a frozen fudge pop? 1676 01:07:56,969 --> 01:07:59,040 You're very kind to offer us dessert, 1677 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:02,285 but we're still full from the mealworms we had here earlier. 1678 01:08:02,319 --> 01:08:05,357 Uh, you're not from around here, are you? 1679 01:08:05,391 --> 01:08:06,185 We're not. 1680 01:08:06,220 --> 01:08:08,360 We're from the Deep South. 1681 01:08:08,394 --> 01:08:10,086 Yeah, I can definitely hear the Southern 1682 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,260 accent in your-- your voice. 1683 01:08:12,295 --> 01:08:13,882 [kissing] 1684 01:08:13,917 --> 01:08:16,368 Your girl looks a little confused. 1685 01:08:16,402 --> 01:08:17,645 Is she OK? 1686 01:08:17,679 --> 01:08:19,060 Oh, don't worry about her. 1687 01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:22,684 She's just lovestruck, seeing a hunk like you stop. 1688 01:08:22,719 --> 01:08:25,101 I'm just-- I'm just a TV repairman. 1689 01:08:25,135 --> 01:08:27,827 I-- I just don't like static. 1690 01:08:27,862 --> 01:08:29,726 Hey, is that a dodo bird over there? 1691 01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:30,692 [fist thuds] 1692 01:08:30,727 --> 01:08:33,971 [groans] [gasping] 1693 01:08:34,006 --> 01:08:36,457 [knife slicing] 1694 01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:46,329 Uh-oh. 1695 01:08:46,363 --> 01:08:49,849 Do either of you know how to drive? 1696 01:08:49,884 --> 01:08:51,230 Vroom! 1697 01:08:51,265 --> 01:08:52,783 Me race car driver. 1698 01:08:52,818 --> 01:08:57,443 [laughs] 1699 01:08:57,478 --> 01:08:59,756 No, sire, I only rode horseback in life. 1700 01:09:02,517 --> 01:09:03,863 Don't look at me. 1701 01:09:03,898 --> 01:09:06,245 Ever since that swing set hit me in the head, 1702 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:07,488 I don't remember how to drive. 1703 01:09:07,522 --> 01:09:09,421 [laughs] 1704 01:09:09,455 --> 01:09:11,561 I guess we're walking, boys. 1705 01:09:11,595 --> 01:09:12,872 Let's go. 1706 01:09:12,907 --> 01:09:16,911 [spits] [chuckles] That's nice. 1707 01:09:20,121 --> 01:09:23,435 [whimsical music] 1708 01:09:27,301 --> 01:09:30,407 Howard, is it? 1709 01:09:30,442 --> 01:09:33,272 Do these floors look clean to you? 1710 01:09:33,307 --> 01:09:37,380 The grout in between these tiles is filthy. 1711 01:09:37,414 --> 01:09:39,485 I like it filthy. 1712 01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:41,280 Reminds me of home. 1713 01:09:41,315 --> 01:09:42,523 Yeah? 1714 01:09:42,557 --> 01:09:45,905 Well, that won't get you any extra oats at mealtime. 1715 01:09:45,940 --> 01:09:48,805 Dutch wants these floors clean enough to eat from. 1716 01:09:48,839 --> 01:09:52,671 That's not the only thing I've seen Dutch do on these floors. 1717 01:09:52,705 --> 01:09:54,880 Dutch is a reformed sex addict. 1718 01:09:54,914 --> 01:09:56,985 Don't be such an ass. 1719 01:09:57,020 --> 01:09:58,401 Can't help it. 1720 01:09:58,435 --> 01:10:01,818 He feeds us so many oats, I feel like I'm turning into an ass. 1721 01:10:01,852 --> 01:10:04,061 Yeehaw! 1722 01:10:04,096 --> 01:10:06,512 Yeah, well, Dutch used to serve surf 1723 01:10:06,547 --> 01:10:08,376 and turf every other night. 1724 01:10:08,411 --> 01:10:12,794 But he's a gambling addict, so food budget comes last. 1725 01:10:12,829 --> 01:10:13,657 Hmm. 1726 01:10:13,692 --> 01:10:15,314 He sounds like a real winner. 1727 01:10:15,349 --> 01:10:18,800 Bud, buddy, I'm glad somebody's a winner. 1728 01:10:18,835 --> 01:10:22,632 Because-- because the floor is not winning. 1729 01:10:22,666 --> 01:10:24,047 You're doing a terrible job. 1730 01:10:24,081 --> 01:10:24,841 Oh, right. 1731 01:10:24,875 --> 01:10:25,980 Doing my best, boss. 1732 01:10:26,014 --> 01:10:26,774 Watch, watch. 1733 01:10:26,808 --> 01:10:27,775 Give it to me. 1734 01:10:27,809 --> 01:10:29,121 Look. 1735 01:10:29,155 --> 01:10:32,642 The British way, pinky up and scrub. 1736 01:10:32,676 --> 01:10:33,850 Oh, let me give it a shot. 1737 01:10:33,884 --> 01:10:35,161 OK. 1738 01:10:35,196 --> 01:10:37,716 Pinky up and scrub. 1739 01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:40,028 That's kind of a sexual move. 1740 01:10:40,063 --> 01:10:45,413 It's kind of a-- kind of sexual connotations to it. 1741 01:10:45,448 --> 01:10:46,449 You know what I mean. 1742 01:10:46,483 --> 01:10:47,415 All right. 1743 01:10:47,450 --> 01:10:49,037 Just keep grinding. 1744 01:10:49,072 --> 01:10:50,660 I am a mutant MILF. 1745 01:10:50,694 --> 01:10:51,488 Yeah! 1746 01:10:51,523 --> 01:10:52,420 Oh, yeah. 1747 01:10:52,455 --> 01:10:53,214 MILF! 1748 01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,251 Yes, you're very beautiful. 1749 01:10:55,285 --> 01:10:57,011 What are you going to do to us? 1750 01:10:57,045 --> 01:10:58,115 Drain your blood! 1751 01:10:58,150 --> 01:10:59,910 [laughter] 1752 01:10:59,945 --> 01:11:01,705 You're sick and twisted! 1753 01:11:01,740 --> 01:11:04,329 I'm not twisted, the world is. 1754 01:11:04,363 --> 01:11:08,471 And ever since my mutant family was pushed from our home 1755 01:11:08,505 --> 01:11:09,334 with a pitchfork-- 1756 01:11:09,368 --> 01:11:10,093 Oh, yeah! 1757 01:11:10,127 --> 01:11:10,956 Yes, mama. 1758 01:11:10,990 --> 01:11:14,270 --we have been seeking revenge. 1759 01:11:14,304 --> 01:11:15,443 Revenge! 1760 01:11:15,478 --> 01:11:20,828 When one of your little normies cars breaks down, 1761 01:11:20,862 --> 01:11:22,692 we get to teach you a little humility. 1762 01:11:22,726 --> 01:11:23,658 Break down. 1763 01:11:23,693 --> 01:11:25,488 [yells] 1764 01:11:25,522 --> 01:11:28,249 Ah, ah, ah, ah. 1765 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:29,457 [growls] 1766 01:11:29,492 --> 01:11:32,598 Oh, an eye for an eye. 1767 01:11:32,633 --> 01:11:33,427 Yeah! 1768 01:11:33,461 --> 01:11:34,669 [clapping] 1769 01:11:34,704 --> 01:11:35,498 An for an eye! 1770 01:11:35,532 --> 01:11:36,913 [laughter] 1771 01:11:38,363 --> 01:11:40,123 I had nothing to do with your family being run out of town. 1772 01:11:40,157 --> 01:11:41,227 Norman. 1773 01:11:41,262 --> 01:11:42,021 Ha! 1774 01:11:42,056 --> 01:11:43,575 Him, yeah. 1775 01:11:43,609 --> 01:11:46,681 That one. 1776 01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:50,340 Mutants have been treated like lower-class citizens. 1777 01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:51,168 Yeah, citizens! 1778 01:11:53,895 --> 01:11:59,936 Well, it is time for the mutants to take over the world! 1779 01:11:59,970 --> 01:12:03,215 [mutants cheering, laughing] 1780 01:12:03,249 --> 01:12:04,112 Ha-ha! 1781 01:12:04,147 --> 01:12:05,355 Yeah! 1782 01:12:05,390 --> 01:12:06,149 Nice shoes. 1783 01:12:06,183 --> 01:12:08,013 [groans] Oh my god! 1784 01:12:08,047 --> 01:12:09,532 [entrails splatting] 1785 01:12:09,566 --> 01:12:12,535 [mutants laughing] 1786 01:12:14,571 --> 01:12:16,711 What's going on here? 1787 01:12:16,746 --> 01:12:20,094 Are you guys doing a bit of kidnapping roleplay? 1788 01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:20,888 Kinky. 1789 01:12:20,922 --> 01:12:21,716 Dude, help up! 1790 01:12:21,751 --> 01:12:23,062 She's fucking crazy! 1791 01:12:23,097 --> 01:12:24,719 Oh, shut up. 1792 01:12:24,754 --> 01:12:26,963 That's not even the safe word. 1793 01:12:26,997 --> 01:12:27,929 Can I join in? 1794 01:12:27,964 --> 01:12:28,965 You know, I'm-- 1795 01:12:28,999 --> 01:12:30,380 Kane, Kane, where are you, Kane? 1796 01:12:30,415 --> 01:12:31,174 Kane? 1797 01:12:31,208 --> 01:12:33,383 KANE: Cut, cut, cut! 1798 01:12:33,418 --> 01:12:34,695 Damn it to hell. 1799 01:12:34,729 --> 01:12:36,490 Take it from the top. 1800 01:12:36,524 --> 01:12:37,594 The fuck you mean cut? 1801 01:12:37,629 --> 01:12:39,458 Man, that shit was pure magic. 1802 01:12:39,493 --> 01:12:41,495 Small P, are you stupid? 1803 01:12:41,529 --> 01:12:44,463 These two are not even part of the scene. 1804 01:12:44,498 --> 01:12:45,947 Let's do it again. 1805 01:12:45,982 --> 01:12:47,501 They're not part of the scene? 1806 01:12:47,535 --> 01:12:50,504 Barbara is the best part of this scene. 1807 01:12:50,538 --> 01:12:53,265 This whole film, every scene should be with Barbara. 1808 01:12:53,299 --> 01:12:55,612 She is like the cheese curds in the poutine. 1809 01:12:55,647 --> 01:12:59,064 Barbara is like the modern-day Brigitte Bardot. 1810 01:12:59,098 --> 01:13:02,550 [soft dramatic music] 1811 01:13:04,034 --> 01:13:06,002 [energy whooshing] 1812 01:13:10,455 --> 01:13:13,354 Oh. 1813 01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,252 It worked. 1814 01:13:15,287 --> 01:13:16,253 I'm back on Earth. 1815 01:13:18,980 --> 01:13:22,984 [sighs] And it's hotter than hell out here. 1816 01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:23,813 Thirsty. 1817 01:13:27,264 --> 01:13:28,473 Oh, yeah. 1818 01:13:33,478 --> 01:13:34,789 Ow. 1819 01:13:34,824 --> 01:13:37,274 Not supposed to hurt. 1820 01:13:37,309 --> 01:13:49,701 [slurping] [sighs] Oh, I feel a little woozy. 1821 01:13:49,735 --> 01:13:51,634 [body thuds] 1822 01:13:54,982 --> 01:13:57,053 [energy whooshing] 1823 01:13:57,881 --> 01:14:02,368 [groans] Some vacation. 1824 01:14:02,403 --> 01:14:06,338 [groans] I give up. 1825 01:14:06,372 --> 01:14:07,477 So what's the verdict? 1826 01:14:07,512 --> 01:14:09,375 Have you ever seen anything like this before? 1827 01:14:09,410 --> 01:14:10,722 You sell a lot of boards. 1828 01:14:10,756 --> 01:14:11,930 Never in my life. 1829 01:14:11,964 --> 01:14:13,518 This thing is tripping me out. 1830 01:14:13,552 --> 01:14:14,553 Really? 1831 01:14:14,588 --> 01:14:16,037 Let's take a look under the grip tape. 1832 01:14:16,072 --> 01:14:16,866 Good idea. 1833 01:14:22,561 --> 01:14:24,425 [skateboard flesh crackling] 1834 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,152 Holy fuck! 1835 01:14:27,186 --> 01:14:29,982 I'm starting to believe this board really is cursed. 1836 01:14:30,017 --> 01:14:31,881 It's alive! 1837 01:14:31,915 --> 01:14:33,296 Really, John? 1838 01:14:33,330 --> 01:14:36,782 Word of warning, Kurt, get rid of this thing. 1839 01:14:36,817 --> 01:14:41,166 Whoever owned this before burns churches and worships Satan. 1840 01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:42,029 Oh, sick. 1841 01:14:42,063 --> 01:14:43,617 I love black metal. 1842 01:14:43,651 --> 01:14:45,653 Didn't you say it transported you somewhere? 1843 01:14:45,688 --> 01:14:47,621 Yeah, a little escape room. 1844 01:14:47,655 --> 01:14:49,864 It was like my own personal hell. 1845 01:14:49,899 --> 01:14:52,488 I got taken to a personal hell too, a beauty salon. 1846 01:14:52,522 --> 01:14:53,316 Wait a minute. 1847 01:14:53,350 --> 01:14:55,836 Did you guys say personal hell? 1848 01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,320 Damn, I've been touching this thing. 1849 01:14:57,354 --> 01:14:59,460 I got to go make a confession. 1850 01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:01,773 So what should we do with it? 1851 01:15:01,807 --> 01:15:02,912 Destroy it. 1852 01:15:02,946 --> 01:15:05,293 Nothing good can come from owning this thing. 1853 01:15:05,328 --> 01:15:06,398 Are you sure? 1854 01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:07,779 I mean, I could just take it home with me. 1855 01:15:07,813 --> 01:15:08,573 I could put it up. 1856 01:15:08,607 --> 01:15:10,091 No way! 1857 01:15:10,126 --> 01:15:12,024 This isn't a dream catcher. 1858 01:15:12,059 --> 01:15:14,095 This is a soul sucker. 1859 01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:15,269 This place is weak. 1860 01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:17,443 These pukes all deserve to die 10 times over. 1861 01:15:17,478 --> 01:15:19,480 If I still had my pipe-bomb-making kit, 1862 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:22,207 I'd end this precious rager real quick. 1863 01:15:22,241 --> 01:15:26,142 Dude, what is your problem? 1864 01:15:26,176 --> 01:15:28,316 You having trouble finding your tribe? 1865 01:15:28,351 --> 01:15:30,249 Pop one of our pills. 1866 01:15:30,284 --> 01:15:32,251 Call it a peace offering. 1867 01:15:32,286 --> 01:15:33,770 You'll loosen up real quick. 1868 01:15:33,805 --> 01:15:36,221 Maybe try a less brooding look. 1869 01:15:36,255 --> 01:15:38,154 Maybe lose the sunglasses. 1870 01:15:38,188 --> 01:15:40,501 I bet you got beautiful eyes. 1871 01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:41,951 Let's show them all to hell. 1872 01:15:41,985 --> 01:15:42,986 Come on! 1873 01:15:43,021 --> 01:15:44,919 Don't touch the fucking sunglasses, man. 1874 01:15:44,954 --> 01:15:46,300 They're from Italy. 1875 01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:48,716 [energetic orchestral music] 1876 01:15:51,098 --> 01:15:52,237 Come one! 1877 01:15:52,271 --> 01:15:54,273 Come all! 1878 01:15:54,308 --> 01:15:58,174 Prepare your anus-- your brain. 1879 01:15:58,208 --> 01:15:59,037 I mean. 1880 01:15:59,071 --> 01:16:02,212 Because I am the Amazing Arnold. 1881 01:16:02,247 --> 01:16:06,838 And I have come here tonight to hypnotize your mind. 1882 01:16:06,872 --> 01:16:10,945 [cackles] Show starts in 10 minutes. 1883 01:16:10,980 --> 01:16:12,844 Please take a seat. 1884 01:16:12,878 --> 01:16:14,777 Yeah, just-- 1885 01:16:14,811 --> 01:16:17,124 Do you guys think this man's legit? 1886 01:16:17,158 --> 01:16:19,022 I think it's all a scam. 1887 01:16:19,057 --> 01:16:21,611 So a friend of mine told me that a friend of his, 1888 01:16:21,646 --> 01:16:24,718 after a party, he was hypnotized by drinking 1889 01:16:24,752 --> 01:16:26,789 some spiked iced tea, spiked iced tea. 1890 01:16:26,823 --> 01:16:28,687 It's all smoke and mirrors. 1891 01:16:28,722 --> 01:16:30,586 Bullshit! 1892 01:16:30,620 --> 01:16:35,763 These guys prey on weak-minded people. 1893 01:16:35,798 --> 01:16:38,801 Once a hypnotist told me my dead goldfish 1894 01:16:38,835 --> 01:16:41,010 was in the afterlife. 1895 01:16:41,044 --> 01:16:44,392 And he wasn't mad at me for flushing it down the toilet. 1896 01:16:44,427 --> 01:16:48,707 You know, I've seen this guy in a movie before. 1897 01:16:48,742 --> 01:16:52,331 Yeah, some-- some crazy town where nobody drank 1898 01:16:52,366 --> 01:16:55,921 any coffee and all the baked goods 1899 01:16:55,956 --> 01:16:59,373 were like a toxic green color. 1900 01:16:59,407 --> 01:17:00,961 [dog whistle blowing] 1901 01:17:00,995 --> 01:17:03,446 Quiet down, everyone. 1902 01:17:03,480 --> 01:17:09,452 The show is about to begin. 1903 01:17:09,486 --> 01:17:10,384 He has a whistle. 1904 01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:11,557 He means business. 1905 01:17:11,592 --> 01:17:14,595 He means business. 1906 01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:18,357 Shh, nobody make a peep. 1907 01:17:18,392 --> 01:17:22,258 We need to make a plan to find the board. 1908 01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:24,329 Sire, what did you have in mind? 1909 01:17:24,363 --> 01:17:26,952 The tracker has gotten us this far. 1910 01:17:26,987 --> 01:17:28,782 The board is close. 1911 01:17:28,816 --> 01:17:31,301 We need to split up and find it. 1912 01:17:31,336 --> 01:17:33,200 But, Dark Lord, I haven't been apart from you 1913 01:17:33,234 --> 01:17:34,442 in half a millennium. 1914 01:17:34,477 --> 01:17:35,478 Yes, I know. 1915 01:17:35,512 --> 01:17:37,204 It's time to cut the cord. 1916 01:17:37,238 --> 01:17:37,998 Cord fun. 1917 01:17:38,032 --> 01:17:40,483 Jump rope. 1918 01:17:40,517 --> 01:17:41,380 Rope. 1919 01:17:41,415 --> 01:17:42,347 I like that idea. 1920 01:17:42,381 --> 01:17:44,107 Let's-- let's go with that idea. 1921 01:17:44,142 --> 01:17:46,696 You all are useful idiots. 1922 01:17:46,731 --> 01:17:50,700 It's time to go out and prove yourselves to me. 1923 01:17:50,735 --> 01:17:54,462 [laughs] 1924 01:17:54,497 --> 01:18:01,849 Who is-- who is ready to be shocked and amazed? 1925 01:18:01,884 --> 01:18:08,753 Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. 1926 01:18:08,787 --> 01:18:10,375 There you go, Howard. 1927 01:18:10,409 --> 01:18:12,446 ARNOLD: How about you, young man? 1928 01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:14,103 What's your name? 1929 01:18:14,137 --> 01:18:15,898 Uh, the name's Howard. 1930 01:18:15,932 --> 01:18:18,107 And I'm not buying one bit of this crap. 1931 01:18:18,141 --> 01:18:22,352 [laughs] We'll see, Howard. 1932 01:18:22,387 --> 01:18:25,804 Step this way. 1933 01:18:25,839 --> 01:18:26,771 Go for it. 1934 01:18:26,805 --> 01:18:27,772 All right, all right. 1935 01:18:27,806 --> 01:18:29,670 [cheers, applause] 1936 01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:31,154 All right, all right. ALL: Howard! 1937 01:18:31,189 --> 01:18:32,121 Howard! Howard! 1938 01:18:32,155 --> 01:18:33,605 Howard! 1939 01:18:33,639 --> 01:18:35,883 [bag rustling] 1940 01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:37,505 Ah! 1941 01:18:43,822 --> 01:18:48,068 [gulps] I love food! 1942 01:18:48,102 --> 01:18:49,448 Trash food is good! 1943 01:18:49,483 --> 01:18:51,209 [can thudding] 1944 01:18:51,243 --> 01:18:52,555 Aha! 1945 01:18:52,589 --> 01:18:53,936 Caught you in the act! 1946 01:18:53,970 --> 01:18:56,352 What did I tell you people about trash 1947 01:18:56,386 --> 01:18:58,216 and making a mess on my set? 1948 01:18:58,250 --> 01:19:00,287 [growls] Eating food! 1949 01:19:00,321 --> 01:19:01,633 Go away! 1950 01:19:01,667 --> 01:19:05,119 [growling] 1951 01:19:05,154 --> 01:19:06,983 [groans] Oh! 1952 01:19:07,018 --> 01:19:08,053 Oh, no! 1953 01:19:08,088 --> 01:19:09,089 I'm making a mess! 1954 01:19:09,123 --> 01:19:11,608 [groaning] 1955 01:19:11,643 --> 01:19:14,128 [entrails splatting] 1956 01:19:16,959 --> 01:19:18,892 Oh, there's blood everywhere! 1957 01:19:18,926 --> 01:19:20,203 It's disgusting! 1958 01:19:20,238 --> 01:19:22,447 Oh, I'm making a mess all over. 1959 01:19:22,481 --> 01:19:23,344 Look at all the blood! 1960 01:19:23,379 --> 01:19:24,967 Oh, please stop! 1961 01:19:25,001 --> 01:19:27,970 [groans] 1962 01:19:28,004 --> 01:19:29,419 [body thuds] 1963 01:19:29,454 --> 01:19:32,837 [laughs] You trash now. 1964 01:19:37,393 --> 01:19:40,845 [entrails splatting, whooshing] 1965 01:19:42,881 --> 01:19:46,057 Is the real makeup artist off today? 1966 01:19:46,091 --> 01:19:47,058 What'd you say? 1967 01:19:47,092 --> 01:19:48,922 [gags] 1968 01:19:48,956 --> 01:19:49,923 MAN 1: Yeah, this is it. 1969 01:19:49,957 --> 01:19:51,717 MAN 2: What is this? 1970 01:19:51,752 --> 01:19:53,133 Ow! MAN 1: Because, you know, I'm-- 1971 01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:55,307 MAN 2: What is this crap you're putting on me? 1972 01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:59,449 I'm a producer as well. 1973 01:19:59,484 --> 01:20:02,142 I love to produce shit in the toilet. 1974 01:20:02,176 --> 01:20:04,523 I just hate to wipe. 1975 01:20:04,558 --> 01:20:08,010 [dramatic music] 1976 01:20:09,528 --> 01:20:12,497 [cackling] 1977 01:20:17,467 --> 01:20:18,296 Hey, sweetheart. 1978 01:20:18,330 --> 01:20:20,160 What are you doing out here? 1979 01:20:20,194 --> 01:20:21,989 I don't remember you from the table reading. 1980 01:20:22,024 --> 01:20:23,542 You want-- you want a smoke? 1981 01:20:23,577 --> 01:20:27,029 I'll take smoking apparatus. 1982 01:20:27,063 --> 01:20:28,824 I'll get you one. 1983 01:20:28,858 --> 01:20:29,755 You want this one? 1984 01:20:29,790 --> 01:20:30,722 Oops, oh. 1985 01:20:30,756 --> 01:20:33,932 Uh-oh, butterfingers. 1986 01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:34,830 Cigarette butt. 1987 01:20:39,213 --> 01:20:40,007 Butt! 1988 01:20:40,042 --> 01:20:41,284 [knife slices] 1989 01:20:41,319 --> 01:20:43,286 [screams] 1990 01:20:43,321 --> 01:20:45,737 [blood splattering] 1991 01:20:45,771 --> 01:20:48,153 [laughs] Oh. 1992 01:20:48,188 --> 01:20:49,948 [body thuds] 1993 01:20:51,329 --> 01:20:53,331 You've got a third butt cheek! 1994 01:20:53,365 --> 01:20:59,820 [laughs] Ah! 1995 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,270 Another one! 1996 01:21:01,304 --> 01:21:04,480 [laughs] 1997 01:21:04,514 --> 01:21:05,895 Who the hell are you? 1998 01:21:05,930 --> 01:21:07,966 Is Jim replacing me? 1999 01:21:08,001 --> 01:21:10,141 Listen, I'm the only multi-talented actress 2000 01:21:10,175 --> 01:21:13,351 on this set, so buzz off. 2001 01:21:13,385 --> 01:21:14,559 Buzz, buzz! 2002 01:21:14,593 --> 01:21:16,492 Hey, why are you still in character? 2003 01:21:16,526 --> 01:21:17,631 That's super weird. 2004 01:21:17,665 --> 01:21:18,735 But let me do you a favor. 2005 01:21:18,770 --> 01:21:20,185 This director is a total hack. 2006 01:21:20,220 --> 01:21:21,773 And he is not replacing me. 2007 01:21:21,807 --> 01:21:23,395 So you just stay right there. 2008 01:21:23,430 --> 01:21:26,398 And I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind. 2009 01:21:26,433 --> 01:21:27,917 [body thuds] 2010 01:21:27,952 --> 01:21:29,401 [hammer thudding] 2011 01:21:29,436 --> 01:21:31,369 [gasping] 2012 01:21:31,403 --> 01:21:32,818 [bones cracking] 2013 01:21:32,853 --> 01:21:35,166 Hypnotize. 2014 01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,306 Hypmotize! 2015 01:21:37,340 --> 01:21:42,449 Howard, you are under my complete control. 2016 01:21:42,483 --> 01:21:45,107 I have unlocked your psyche. 2017 01:21:45,141 --> 01:21:47,903 And I expect to hear the truth. 2018 01:21:47,937 --> 01:21:52,286 When I count to 3, you will mind dump onto me all 2019 01:21:52,321 --> 01:21:55,358 of your earthly wrongdoings. 2020 01:21:55,393 --> 01:21:59,155 Uh, 1, uh, 2, uh, 3. 2021 01:21:59,190 --> 01:22:02,676 [suspenseful music] 2022 01:22:02,710 --> 01:22:07,612 For the last 20 years, I've been visiting your surface 2023 01:22:07,646 --> 01:22:12,030 world from the depths of hell. 2024 01:22:12,065 --> 01:22:17,484 I travel here on my skateboard, a cursed board crafted 2025 01:22:17,518 --> 01:22:21,660 by Satan, my dear old dad. 2026 01:22:21,695 --> 01:22:27,114 When I come up here, I wreak havoc in the streets, 2027 01:22:27,149 --> 01:22:31,532 robbing and killing the homeless. 2028 01:22:31,567 --> 01:22:34,225 My favorite drink is bum juice. 2029 01:22:34,259 --> 01:22:35,053 Mm. 2030 01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:44,097 I want to be good, but it's so fun to be bad. 2031 01:22:44,131 --> 01:22:47,721 Franklin's disappointed. 2032 01:22:47,755 --> 01:22:49,240 We were friends. 2033 01:22:49,274 --> 01:22:51,967 You're killing my friends. 2034 01:22:52,001 --> 01:22:54,279 We even have fight competition. 2035 01:22:54,314 --> 01:22:58,628 [sobs] And this is how you repay me? 2036 01:22:58,663 --> 01:22:59,940 I'mma kill this motherfucker. 2037 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:00,734 Dutch! 2038 01:23:00,768 --> 01:23:01,700 Dutch, don't! 2039 01:23:01,735 --> 01:23:03,081 Don't, the feds might be watching. 2040 01:23:03,116 --> 01:23:04,634 I don't give a fuck about the feds. 2041 01:23:04,669 --> 01:23:05,773 He killed one of our own. 2042 01:23:05,808 --> 01:23:07,465 And it's an eye for an eye in this shelter. 2043 01:23:07,499 --> 01:23:09,156 - Stop! - Out of the way, Magic Marty. 2044 01:23:09,191 --> 01:23:10,192 Don't! Don't! 2045 01:23:10,226 --> 01:23:12,090 [fist thuds] 2046 01:23:17,371 --> 01:23:18,855 Damn, this is some heavy shit, man. 2047 01:23:18,890 --> 01:23:19,684 It is stanky shit. 2048 01:23:19,718 --> 01:23:20,754 You want to roll it? 2049 01:23:20,788 --> 01:23:22,307 Where the hell did you get this stuff? 2050 01:23:22,342 --> 01:23:24,102 I can't even roll anymore. 2051 01:23:24,137 --> 01:23:25,000 Yes. 2052 01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:26,208 Hola. 2053 01:23:26,242 --> 01:23:27,381 Hola, amigo. 2054 01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,727 Oh, what's up, Stumpy? 2055 01:23:28,762 --> 01:23:29,970 Who you calling Stumpy? 2056 01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:31,144 I mean, you know, you-- 2057 01:23:31,178 --> 01:23:33,629 You guys gotta stop smoking this dirt weed-- 2058 01:23:33,663 --> 01:23:34,871 Oh, this is the shit. 2059 01:23:34,906 --> 01:23:37,426 --and try this new strain of the devil's lettuce. 2060 01:23:37,460 --> 01:23:38,737 I don't know. 2061 01:23:38,772 --> 01:23:40,670 I've been smoking the same stuff since grade school. 2062 01:23:40,705 --> 01:23:41,740 And you know, it's-- 2063 01:23:41,775 --> 01:23:43,811 Fuck that noise. 2064 01:23:43,846 --> 01:23:46,573 This new shit will give you a full body 2065 01:23:46,607 --> 01:23:49,507 high for 24 hours or more. 2066 01:23:49,541 --> 01:23:50,439 No seeds and stems? 2067 01:23:50,473 --> 01:23:51,509 They both for me? 2068 01:23:51,543 --> 01:23:52,958 Yeah, you can have as much as you want. 2069 01:23:52,993 --> 01:23:54,305 Wow! 2070 01:23:54,339 --> 01:23:56,548 Oh my god, well, you drive a hard bargain, medicine man. 2071 01:23:56,583 --> 01:24:00,725 But, well, all right, give us a taste. 2072 01:24:00,759 --> 01:24:01,691 You want to hit this. 2073 01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:02,589 I'm all good, baby. 2074 01:24:02,623 --> 01:24:03,452 OK. 2075 01:24:03,486 --> 01:24:04,867 Damn thing just went out. 2076 01:24:04,901 --> 01:24:06,213 What's that, a dildo? 2077 01:24:06,248 --> 01:24:07,111 Give me this shit. 2078 01:24:07,145 --> 01:24:07,904 Dildo! 2079 01:24:07,939 --> 01:24:09,320 [laughs] - That's small. 2080 01:24:09,354 --> 01:24:11,115 I don't know what the fuck you do with this. 2081 01:24:11,149 --> 01:24:12,978 Oh my god, you're a wizard. 2082 01:24:13,013 --> 01:24:14,187 How'd you do that? 2083 01:24:14,221 --> 01:24:16,672 [coughing] 2084 01:24:19,192 --> 01:24:21,677 [gagging] 2085 01:24:25,681 --> 01:24:28,684 Didn't anyone teach you that smoking kills? 2086 01:24:36,036 --> 01:24:37,417 Is this guy doing something? 2087 01:24:37,451 --> 01:24:39,143 You're in the wrong spot, I think, dude. 2088 01:24:39,177 --> 01:24:40,592 Like, you need to go back over there. 2089 01:24:40,627 --> 01:24:41,869 You ordered a birthday clown? 2090 01:24:41,904 --> 01:24:43,078 Yeah, I don't know, right? 2091 01:24:43,112 --> 01:24:44,458 I mean, like, you should be going 2092 01:24:44,493 --> 01:24:45,873 back to makeup or something. 2093 01:24:45,908 --> 01:24:46,840 Makeup? 2094 01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,566 I just came from makeup. 2095 01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:49,912 [laughs] 2096 01:24:49,946 --> 01:24:52,363 Get your hands off me. 2097 01:24:52,397 --> 01:24:54,158 What the hell is going on here? 2098 01:24:54,192 --> 01:24:57,506 All right, I need you to get the hell out of here. 2099 01:24:57,540 --> 01:25:00,888 Hey, check his pulse. 2100 01:25:00,923 --> 01:25:02,166 Oh, it's fine. 2101 01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:03,615 I used to be a nurse on a TV show. 2102 01:25:03,650 --> 01:25:05,514 Hey, brother, I need you to calm the hell down, all right? 2103 01:25:05,548 --> 01:25:06,584 This is horseshit. 2104 01:25:06,618 --> 01:25:08,344 Who are you? 2105 01:25:08,379 --> 01:25:11,175 Hey, um, he has no pulse. 2106 01:25:11,209 --> 01:25:11,968 Fucking run! 2107 01:25:12,003 --> 01:25:13,729 [screaming] 2108 01:25:15,386 --> 01:25:18,458 This board is pure evil. 2109 01:25:18,492 --> 01:25:19,286 Yeah. 2110 01:25:19,321 --> 01:25:20,391 You know what I think? 2111 01:25:20,425 --> 01:25:23,428 I think it's time for trial by fire. 2112 01:25:23,463 --> 01:25:24,981 That's the only way. 2113 01:25:25,016 --> 01:25:26,638 What's fire going to do to it? 2114 01:25:26,673 --> 01:25:28,847 Once the flames hit this object, 2115 01:25:28,882 --> 01:25:31,816 the spirits will disappear into dust. 2116 01:25:31,850 --> 01:25:34,198 Fetch me the gasoline. 2117 01:25:34,232 --> 01:25:35,509 Not this one. 2118 01:25:35,544 --> 01:25:37,511 That board is one of a kind. 2119 01:25:37,546 --> 01:25:39,962 And it belongs to my son. 2120 01:25:39,996 --> 01:25:42,723 It's been forged with the blood and tears 2121 01:25:42,758 --> 01:25:45,485 of thousands of lost souls. 2122 01:25:45,519 --> 01:25:47,072 Back off, demon punk! 2123 01:25:47,107 --> 01:25:48,729 I hold all the cards now. 2124 01:25:48,764 --> 01:25:51,215 One flick of this lighter-- 2125 01:25:51,249 --> 01:25:52,181 This lighter. 2126 01:25:52,216 --> 01:25:54,079 --and this thing goes poof. 2127 01:25:54,114 --> 01:25:57,428 [howls] It's a full moon tonight. 2128 01:25:57,462 --> 01:25:59,292 Do you like to dance? 2129 01:25:59,326 --> 01:26:02,398 Sorry, toots, I'm not in the mood for dancing. 2130 01:26:02,433 --> 01:26:04,366 I've got two left feet and this earth 2131 01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:05,884 food doesn't agree with me. 2132 01:26:05,919 --> 01:26:08,542 [retching] 2133 01:26:11,476 --> 01:26:14,341 [worms plopping] 2134 01:26:21,141 --> 01:26:22,936 You sick son of a bitch. 2135 01:26:22,970 --> 01:26:25,214 Did you really think you were gonna get away with this? 2136 01:26:25,249 --> 01:26:28,079 Check his pockets for something sharp. 2137 01:26:28,113 --> 01:26:30,737 He might think he can get away. 2138 01:26:30,771 --> 01:26:33,567 You can't be too careful. 2139 01:26:33,602 --> 01:26:35,120 Hello, operator? 2140 01:26:35,155 --> 01:26:36,501 This is Nun Nell. 2141 01:26:36,536 --> 01:26:40,229 I think there's about to be a very, very bad altercation. 2142 01:26:40,264 --> 01:26:41,989 Please send help, please. 2143 01:26:42,024 --> 01:26:44,371 There's not about to be a bad altercation. 2144 01:26:44,406 --> 01:26:45,476 It's happening! 2145 01:26:45,510 --> 01:26:47,409 They're killing him! 2146 01:26:47,443 --> 01:26:50,101 And then they're gonna kill me. 2147 01:26:50,135 --> 01:26:53,000 Holy shit! 2148 01:26:53,035 --> 01:26:53,794 What? 2149 01:26:53,829 --> 01:26:55,244 Nobody cares about him. 2150 01:26:55,279 --> 01:26:56,659 Nobody's going to kill your ass. 2151 01:26:56,694 --> 01:26:58,420 [overlapping chatter] - Just shut the fuck up. 2152 01:26:58,454 --> 01:26:59,490 I was just-- 2153 01:26:59,524 --> 01:27:01,561 Why does it always have to be about you? 2154 01:27:01,595 --> 01:27:03,597 Enough of this shit. 2155 01:27:03,632 --> 01:27:06,531 Give me the board or suffer the consequences. 2156 01:27:06,566 --> 01:27:07,360 Never! 2157 01:27:07,394 --> 01:27:08,464 John, pull! 2158 01:27:08,499 --> 01:27:09,948 I am! 2159 01:27:09,983 --> 01:27:11,985 He's so damn strong. 2160 01:27:12,019 --> 01:27:13,711 I found you on the street. 2161 01:27:13,745 --> 01:27:14,746 I brought you in. 2162 01:27:14,781 --> 01:27:16,161 We took care of you. 2163 01:27:16,196 --> 01:27:17,473 You got any last words? 2164 01:27:17,508 --> 01:27:19,475 Yeah? 2165 01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:20,269 I'm sorry. 2166 01:27:20,304 --> 01:27:21,201 [scoffs] 2167 01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:22,409 Too late for that, motherfucker. 2168 01:27:22,444 --> 01:27:23,203 I'll say. 2169 01:27:23,238 --> 01:27:24,687 [knife slices] 2170 01:27:27,587 --> 01:27:29,105 Gasoline, please. 2171 01:27:29,140 --> 01:27:30,969 I'm trying. 2172 01:27:31,004 --> 01:27:34,663 [groans] Oh. 2173 01:27:34,697 --> 01:27:36,492 I have an awful feeling. 2174 01:27:36,527 --> 01:27:40,945 I can no longer feel my son's presence on this planet. 2175 01:27:40,979 --> 01:27:41,739 Freeze frame! 2176 01:27:41,773 --> 01:27:43,534 [clapping] 2177 01:27:50,989 --> 01:27:53,440 [gagging] 2178 01:27:57,444 --> 01:27:58,687 What the fuck is this? 2179 01:27:58,721 --> 01:28:00,620 The next ice age? 2180 01:28:00,654 --> 01:28:03,243 It's no fun when they can't fight back. 2181 01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:05,659 [screams] 2182 01:28:05,694 --> 01:28:09,145 [dramatic music] 2183 01:28:26,784 --> 01:28:28,889 Chuckles? 2184 01:28:28,924 --> 01:28:30,546 Chuckles, where art thou, Chuckles? 2185 01:28:33,618 --> 01:28:36,000 Dark Lord, why is everyone frozen? 2186 01:28:36,034 --> 01:28:37,864 Are you daft? 2187 01:28:37,898 --> 01:28:39,935 Obviously, I froze them so we could 2188 01:28:39,969 --> 01:28:42,627 slip away without being seen. 2189 01:28:42,662 --> 01:28:46,700 And what did I tell you about that stupid clown makeup? 2190 01:28:46,735 --> 01:28:49,772 Those juggling freaks scare the crap out of me. 2191 01:28:49,807 --> 01:28:50,980 I'm sorry. 2192 01:28:51,015 --> 01:28:52,706 Once I killed the makeup girl, I just 2193 01:28:52,741 --> 01:28:54,639 got the itch to do it again. 2194 01:28:54,674 --> 01:28:57,090 When we get home, you're grounded. 2195 01:28:57,124 --> 01:28:59,748 At least you finally found the skateboard, sire. 2196 01:28:59,782 --> 01:29:02,233 Yes, but at what cost? 2197 01:29:02,267 --> 01:29:05,409 My son is dead. 2198 01:29:05,443 --> 01:29:07,687 Come on, boys, let's go home. 2199 01:29:15,557 --> 01:29:17,006 - Hey, how'd I look? - You looked great. 2200 01:29:17,041 --> 01:29:18,249 - [laughs] Take a selfie. - Yeah? 2201 01:29:18,283 --> 01:29:19,112 - Take a selfie. - Great idea. 2202 01:29:19,146 --> 01:29:19,871 Take a picture. Yeah, you ready? 2203 01:29:19,906 --> 01:29:21,494 OK, here we go. 2204 01:29:21,528 --> 01:29:22,287 Police. 2205 01:29:22,322 --> 01:29:23,599 Uh-oh. 2206 01:29:23,634 --> 01:29:25,463 What do we have going on here? 2207 01:29:25,498 --> 01:29:28,811 I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it. 2208 01:29:28,846 --> 01:29:30,641 I mean, we did it. 2209 01:29:30,675 --> 01:29:31,814 Man, you ain't did shit. 2210 01:29:31,849 --> 01:29:32,815 We did it. - Yeah. 2211 01:29:32,850 --> 01:29:34,438 I'm the one that caught the motherfucker. 2212 01:29:34,472 --> 01:29:35,680 Well, we both caught him. - Yeah. 2213 01:29:35,715 --> 01:29:36,854 But I'm the one that stabbed him. 2214 01:29:36,888 --> 01:29:38,234 Yeah. 2215 01:29:38,269 --> 01:29:39,477 And y'all can't do shit to me because it's self-defense. 2216 01:29:39,512 --> 01:29:40,582 Uh-huh. 2217 01:29:40,616 --> 01:29:41,824 Officer Dev. 2218 01:29:41,859 --> 01:29:43,757 Sir, please drop your weapon. 2219 01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:44,724 Drop the weapon? 2220 01:29:44,758 --> 01:29:45,932 Motherfucker, the knife's in him. 2221 01:29:45,966 --> 01:29:47,278 How am I gonna drop it? 2222 01:29:47,312 --> 01:29:49,729 [eerie dance music] 2223 01:29:49,763 --> 01:29:51,247 [clears throat] 2224 01:29:59,635 --> 01:30:02,914 Who told you fucking creeps that you 2225 01:30:02,949 --> 01:30:07,471 could throw a party while the Devil Daddy was out of town? 2226 01:30:07,505 --> 01:30:09,093 Did I sanction this? 2227 01:30:11,889 --> 01:30:14,374 It's OK. 2228 01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:15,168 It's OK. 2229 01:30:15,202 --> 01:30:16,583 I'm generous. 2230 01:30:16,618 --> 01:30:18,585 I'm in a good mood. 2231 01:30:18,620 --> 01:30:19,586 Yeah. 2232 01:30:19,621 --> 01:30:26,421 12 years hard labor for all of you. 2233 01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:27,905 Get the fuck out of my sight! 2234 01:30:30,770 --> 01:30:31,564 Now! 2235 01:30:37,570 --> 01:30:41,056 [dramatic music] 2236 01:30:47,027 --> 01:30:49,029 [board cracks] 2237 01:30:58,522 --> 01:31:00,489 [sloshing] 2238 01:31:04,010 --> 01:31:06,978 [board thudding] 2239 01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:16,954 Fuck! 2240 01:31:18,990 --> 01:31:19,784 Fuck! 2241 01:31:22,615 --> 01:31:25,031 Kurt! 2242 01:31:25,065 --> 01:31:26,860 Kurt! 2243 01:31:26,895 --> 01:31:27,689 Ruby! 2244 01:31:32,003 --> 01:31:33,488 Fuck! 2245 01:31:33,522 --> 01:31:36,214 [upbeat punk music] 2246 01:31:37,008 --> 01:31:38,251 Dr. Adrian Low. 2247 01:31:38,285 --> 01:31:40,943 How can I help my favorite client? 2248 01:31:40,978 --> 01:31:42,566 I need some advice. 2249 01:31:42,600 --> 01:31:45,707 If you don't pay my fee, I can't keep you as a client. 2250 01:31:45,741 --> 01:31:48,986 The bad vibes are racing back, Doc. 2251 01:31:49,020 --> 01:31:53,024 I wish I was at home chillin', smokin' grass. 2252 01:31:53,059 --> 01:31:54,405 You needed this job. 2253 01:31:54,439 --> 01:31:56,200 Playing video games in your underwear 2254 01:31:56,234 --> 01:31:58,271 is no way to go through life. 2255 01:31:58,305 --> 01:31:59,893 It's worked for me up till now, Doc. 2256 01:31:59,928 --> 01:32:01,170 I'll get you the money, Doc. 2257 01:32:01,205 --> 01:32:03,069 Please, don't drop me. 2258 01:32:03,103 --> 01:32:06,555 Look, don't call me back until this film is finished. 2259 01:32:06,590 --> 01:32:09,351 Hello, 2260 01:32:09,385 --> 01:32:11,664 Hello, Hollywood News Time Views, 2261 01:32:11,698 --> 01:32:13,562 big news in from Hollywood. 2262 01:32:13,597 --> 01:32:16,151 After a full 40-year break, horror director 2263 01:32:16,185 --> 01:32:19,188 Jim Seamstress has returned to make his new film, 2264 01:32:19,223 --> 01:32:20,845 Leather Teats 2. 2265 01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:23,676 Online reactions have been coming in all day from viewers, 2266 01:32:23,710 --> 01:32:27,921 with everything from pure joy to people excited for his return. 2267 01:32:27,956 --> 01:32:29,820 But there is also extreme confusion, 2268 01:32:29,854 --> 01:32:31,787 as people are not sure why we would want 2269 01:32:31,822 --> 01:32:33,755 another film in the series. 2270 01:32:33,789 --> 01:32:36,205 There are also a number of people very upset and not 2271 01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:38,173 happy at all with his return. 2272 01:32:38,207 --> 01:32:39,415 Now back to you. 2273 01:32:39,450 --> 01:32:41,383 No one is who you think they are, people. 2274 01:32:41,417 --> 01:32:44,489 [burps] Don't trust anyone. 2275 01:32:44,524 --> 01:32:47,009 They could be the devil undercover. 2276 01:32:47,044 --> 01:32:48,666 Independent movie sets-- 2277 01:32:48,701 --> 01:32:50,012 not safe. 2278 01:32:50,047 --> 01:32:51,462 That's why I'm glad my parents only 2279 01:32:51,496 --> 01:32:54,085 let me do online news for kids. 2280 01:32:54,120 --> 01:32:56,847 Do any of you guys believe in this 2281 01:32:56,881 --> 01:32:58,331 skateboard I'm hearing about that 2282 01:32:58,365 --> 01:33:00,609 actually can take you to hell? 2283 01:33:00,644 --> 01:33:02,024 Come on! 2284 01:33:02,059 --> 01:33:05,890 Back in the day, I auditioned to be in the original Leather 2285 01:33:05,925 --> 01:33:07,720 Teats movie. 2286 01:33:07,754 --> 01:33:10,412 I knew the director from college. 2287 01:33:10,446 --> 01:33:13,380 Oh my god. 2288 01:33:13,415 --> 01:33:15,141 Oh, that smells horrible. 2289 01:33:18,420 --> 01:33:21,112 911, please come. 2290 01:33:21,147 --> 01:33:22,389 There's, like, dead bodies. 2291 01:33:22,424 --> 01:33:24,668 Like, I'm just walking around, and then there's these, 2292 01:33:24,702 --> 01:33:27,360 like, organs and dead people. 2293 01:33:27,394 --> 01:33:29,742 What is this? 2294 01:33:29,776 --> 01:33:31,813 Please come as soon as possible. 2295 01:33:31,847 --> 01:33:34,988 Why did that movie include skateboarding? 2296 01:33:35,023 --> 01:33:37,094 You don't board in the desert. 2297 01:33:37,128 --> 01:33:38,267 It's sandy. 2298 01:33:38,302 --> 01:33:41,305 My dad and I are going to watch Leather Teats. 2299 01:33:41,339 --> 01:33:42,547 That's right, folks. 2300 01:33:42,582 --> 01:33:45,654 I'm a cool dad, so don't give me any shit. 2301 01:33:45,689 --> 01:33:48,312 Yeah, he lets me watch R-rated movies. 2302 01:33:48,346 --> 01:33:50,901 The devil comes back to Earth to find 2303 01:33:50,935 --> 01:33:55,181 his son and his missing board. 2304 01:33:55,215 --> 01:33:58,702 What is the plot to a Shawn C. Phillips film? 2305 01:33:58,736 --> 01:34:01,049 Horror films were great in the past. 2306 01:34:01,083 --> 01:34:05,156 But Leather Teats was never, never a good film. 2307 01:34:05,191 --> 01:34:07,262 What does a over 70-year-old man know 2308 01:34:07,296 --> 01:34:08,988 about making a horror film? 2309 01:34:09,022 --> 01:34:10,679 Next week, we are going to be having 2310 01:34:10,714 --> 01:34:13,475 one of the surviving producers of Leather Teats 2311 01:34:13,509 --> 01:34:15,477 to get his side of the story. 2312 01:34:15,511 --> 01:34:17,686 A movie called Leather Teats? 2313 01:34:17,721 --> 01:34:20,516 Never again will I be made a viral moment. 2314 01:34:20,551 --> 01:34:24,486 Those people that own that shelter, they are not 2315 01:34:24,520 --> 01:34:25,867 who you think. 2316 01:34:25,901 --> 01:34:27,316 We were always friends. 2317 01:34:27,351 --> 01:34:29,111 We always did everything together. 2318 01:34:29,146 --> 01:34:32,563 [sobs] Ow, that burns. 2319 01:34:32,597 --> 01:34:35,083 Two people found at the local park. 2320 01:34:35,117 --> 01:34:37,948 Is there any connection to the recent string of murders? 2321 01:34:37,982 --> 01:34:41,468 I can't see Shawn Phillips turning this story into a movie. 2322 01:34:41,503 --> 01:34:43,678 This story is just too much. 2323 01:34:43,712 --> 01:34:45,576 The devil comes back to life? 2324 01:34:45,610 --> 01:34:47,198 He looks like the canned ham kid. 2325 01:34:47,233 --> 01:34:49,338 If I can get an interview with one of those actors 2326 01:34:49,373 --> 01:34:52,100 that survived, one could dream. 2327 01:34:52,134 --> 01:34:54,723 Hey, Austin, you did great earlier. 2328 01:34:54,758 --> 01:34:57,277 When that gorgeous mutant stomped on your skull, 2329 01:34:57,312 --> 01:34:59,555 I actually believed your brains turned to mush. 2330 01:34:59,590 --> 01:35:01,523 And not just because you're a dope. 2331 01:35:01,557 --> 01:35:02,697 Appreciate that, man. 2332 01:35:02,731 --> 01:35:03,974 Sure. 2333 01:35:04,008 --> 01:35:06,045 I can't believe that old, dusty fool Jim Seamstress 2334 01:35:06,079 --> 01:35:07,805 is back to making films again. 2335 01:35:07,840 --> 01:35:09,600 Low budget movies suck. 2336 01:35:09,634 --> 01:35:11,015 Bring on the superheroes. 2337 01:35:11,050 --> 01:35:16,400 I really will not be getting to see Leather Teats part 2? 2338 01:35:16,434 --> 01:35:19,265 [sighs] God. 2339 01:35:19,299 --> 01:35:21,543 Sometimes good things do happen. 2340 01:35:21,577 --> 01:35:24,097 A murderer hiding out in plain sight 2341 01:35:24,132 --> 01:35:26,030 at a local homeless shelter. 2342 01:35:26,065 --> 01:35:29,654 --sees that nobody realizes that I'm an undercover mutant. 2343 01:35:29,689 --> 01:35:31,795 Excuse me, excuse me, do you guys want waters? 2344 01:35:31,829 --> 01:35:32,727 Snacks? 2345 01:35:32,761 --> 01:35:34,004 Gabby, get the fuck out of here. 2346 01:35:34,038 --> 01:35:34,832 Just selling. 2347 01:35:34,867 --> 01:35:35,937 Go, shit. 2348 01:35:35,971 --> 01:35:38,180 Nobody liked the original Leather Teats. 2349 01:35:38,215 --> 01:35:39,768 We didn't need a sequel. 2350 01:35:39,803 --> 01:35:43,530 I wish that I was part of that film. 2351 01:35:43,565 --> 01:35:47,776 I know people died, but it would have made me a star. 2352 01:35:47,811 --> 01:35:50,089 I can't believe that I almost auditioned 2353 01:35:50,123 --> 01:35:53,748 to be part of that terrible Leather Teats movie. 2354 01:35:53,782 --> 01:35:56,647 Wow, Chad, just look at those muscles. 2355 01:35:56,681 --> 01:35:58,718 You must do some heavy lifting. 2356 01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,237 Thanks for noticing. 2357 01:36:00,271 --> 01:36:01,859 I only lift my wood. 2358 01:36:01,894 --> 01:36:03,033 You should give it a try. 2359 01:36:03,067 --> 01:36:04,724 Who would watch a movie like this? 2360 01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,381 You would have to be insane. 2361 01:36:06,415 --> 01:36:08,348 I wouldn't really want a sequel to the film. 2362 01:36:08,383 --> 01:36:11,179 I mean, the original was always a shit film. 2363 01:36:11,213 --> 01:36:15,217 Every fool in today's day and age with a phone 2364 01:36:15,252 --> 01:36:19,256 thinks they are a director. 2365 01:36:19,290 --> 01:36:22,604 I was so hyped for Jim's new film. 2366 01:36:22,638 --> 01:36:26,884 I hope it doesn't end up like that lost Ernest pirate film. 2367 01:36:26,919 --> 01:36:29,438 I heard rumors that people saw people vanish on a skateboard 2368 01:36:29,473 --> 01:36:30,715 and go straight to hell. 2369 01:36:30,750 --> 01:36:32,959 I was thinking about picking up a skateboard again. 2370 01:36:32,994 --> 01:36:37,619 But no, I don't feel like risking what can happen. 2371 01:36:37,653 --> 01:36:42,175 I'm glad I never wanted to be cool like that. 2372 01:36:42,210 --> 01:36:43,694 Choo, choo. 2373 01:36:43,728 --> 01:36:46,697 [screaming] 2374 01:36:50,183 --> 01:36:51,495 Pancake Man. 2375 01:36:51,529 --> 01:36:54,981 I want to see Leather Teats on the screen again. 2376 01:36:55,016 --> 01:36:57,121 If I was on a film set, I'd kill all 2377 01:36:57,156 --> 01:36:59,020 those motherfuckers on there. 2378 01:36:59,054 --> 01:37:03,369 Nobody realizes that I'm an undercover demon. 2379 01:37:03,403 --> 01:37:05,958 Would you guys believe that I almost went into acting instead 2380 01:37:05,992 --> 01:37:07,718 of becoming a news anchor? 2381 01:37:07,752 --> 01:37:10,169 I'm so happy I didn't go that route. 2382 01:37:10,203 --> 01:37:12,102 See, just like I've been saying, 2383 01:37:12,136 --> 01:37:14,035 horror films bring out the worst of people. 2384 01:37:14,069 --> 01:37:16,278 They are terrible. 2385 01:37:16,313 --> 01:37:19,350 You know, a hypnotist told me one time that my goldfish 2386 01:37:19,385 --> 01:37:21,352 was in the afterlife. 2387 01:37:21,387 --> 01:37:24,631 And it wasn't even mad at me for flushing him down the toilet. 2388 01:37:24,666 --> 01:37:25,978 Holy fuck! 2389 01:37:26,012 --> 01:37:28,808 They did melt. What the hell went on in here last night? 2390 01:37:28,843 --> 01:37:30,810 People need to look into the homeless shelter. 2391 01:37:30,845 --> 01:37:32,708 I think there's something up with that place. 2392 01:37:36,057 --> 01:37:38,818 Who watches movies like Leather Teats? 2393 01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:42,235 You really have to be nuts if you do. 2394 01:37:42,270 --> 01:37:44,686 Our news team will be on location taking a closer 2395 01:37:44,720 --> 01:37:47,033 look at the area where all of these unexplained murders 2396 01:37:47,068 --> 01:37:48,310 happened. 2397 01:37:48,345 --> 01:37:51,520 Would you believe they wouldn't cast me in that film? 2398 01:37:51,555 --> 01:37:53,971 If I were there, this wouldn't have happened. 2399 01:37:54,006 --> 01:37:55,870 I want to let you all know in my next video, 2400 01:37:55,904 --> 01:37:57,526 I'll be at the location of the murders. 2401 01:37:57,561 --> 01:38:00,322 I just can't wait to get out to that abandoned ghost town, boys. 2402 01:38:00,357 --> 01:38:03,187 This was filmed on very haunted and sacred grounds. 2403 01:38:03,222 --> 01:38:05,638 A lot of people were killed in this location. 2404 01:38:05,672 --> 01:38:08,434 I'm so glad I didn't send my audition to be in that film. 2405 01:38:08,468 --> 01:38:11,195 Instead of Leatherface, the killer 2406 01:38:11,230 --> 01:38:14,612 wears a suit made out of boobs. 2407 01:38:14,647 --> 01:38:16,062 Hey, I'm skatin' here. 2408 01:38:16,097 --> 01:38:18,306 I'm skatin' here. 2409 01:38:18,340 --> 01:38:19,755 [growls] 2410 01:38:19,790 --> 01:38:21,654 [screams] 2411 01:38:21,688 --> 01:38:23,587 [roars] 2412 01:38:23,621 --> 01:38:26,314 As an indie filmmaker myself with zero money, 2413 01:38:26,348 --> 01:38:28,316 I would never make one of those. 2414 01:38:28,350 --> 01:38:31,353 Don't mess with evil skateboards. 2415 01:38:31,388 --> 01:38:34,460 Everything on that set was so R-rated. 2416 01:38:34,494 --> 01:38:36,669 I wish I was old enough to watch. 2417 01:38:36,703 --> 01:38:39,396 This entire thing makes me think 2418 01:38:39,430 --> 01:38:42,778 about my own personal hell-- 2419 01:38:42,813 --> 01:38:44,815 gym class. 2420 01:38:44,849 --> 01:38:47,956 Jeez Louise, the goddamn Melvins! 2421 01:38:51,339 --> 01:38:52,133 Wow. 2422 01:38:52,167 --> 01:38:54,445 Crazy trip. 2423 01:38:54,480 --> 01:38:56,275 Lucky we're all alive. 2424 01:38:56,309 --> 01:38:59,347 Yeah, no doubt. 2425 01:38:59,381 --> 01:39:01,418 Uh, thank you for letting me work here again 2426 01:39:01,452 --> 01:39:03,144 while Kane's busy. 2427 01:39:03,178 --> 01:39:05,008 I could really use his cash. 2428 01:39:05,042 --> 01:39:05,974 Yeah, man. 2429 01:39:06,009 --> 01:39:07,251 Plus, now you don't have to steal 2430 01:39:07,286 --> 01:39:09,150 the skate wax to use as lube. 2431 01:39:09,184 --> 01:39:11,669 You get it for free like me. 2432 01:39:11,704 --> 01:39:13,844 Total win-win. 154309

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