Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:02,000
[Sleigh ride playing on car radio]
2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,213
[Sleigh ride playing on car radio]
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
♪ ♪
4
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,391
(Trudie) I'm not crazy.
5
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:20,020
I'm a long way from crazy.
6
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:24,274
Doing one crazy thing
does not make a person crazy.
7
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,817
Though I have to admit
this isn't how I expected
8
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,195
to be spending my Christmas.
9
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,197
And I'm sure it's not how
David Martin planned
10
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,698
on spending his.
11
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:35,035
So...you've been walking
for what, about an hour?
12
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,246
And you've gone exactly
13
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,414
1.8 miles.
14
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,959
The nearest gas station
is 20 miles away.
15
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,126
You do the math.
16
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,838
Look, why don't you just
come back to the house?
17
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,924
We'll make some
hot chocolate, okay?
18
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,268
♪ Our cheeks
are nice and rosy ♪
19
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,019
Are you okay?
20
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,897
Nothing smart to say?
21
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,315
Is your face frozen?
22
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,193
You...
23
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,654
Are...
24
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,490
The devil.
25
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,783
♪ It's lovely weather ♪
26
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,203
♪ for a sleigh ride together
with you ♪
27
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:25,460
♪ ding a ling‐a‐ling
ding dong ding ♪ ♪
28
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,463
[Alarm beeping]
29
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,176
[Silences alarm]
30
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,723
The day started out
like every other day.
31
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:42,394
Which lately is not
necessarily a good thing.
32
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,022
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
33
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,815
♪ seems like everywhere
you go ♪
34
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,192
♪ people searching for
an explanation ♪
35
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,778
♪ need a reason,
need a plan ♪
36
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,989
♪ always have to know
the destination ♪
37
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,991
♪ one thing I know
for sure ♪
38
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,077
♪ gotta make the most
of the situation ♪
39
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,704
♪ settle down
and take it slow ♪
40
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,999
♪ 'cause you can't control
where the flow is going ♪
41
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,043
♪ you know it's true
what they say ♪
42
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,045
♪ life's not easy ♪
43
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:12,633
♪ the only thing you can do
is crazy... ♪
44
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,761
[Cell phone rings]
45
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,012
♪ And reach up
to the sky ♪
46
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,931
♪ believe you've got
something special ♪
47
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,351
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
48
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,519
♪ there's no mountain
you can't climb ♪
49
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,771
Oh, crap!
50
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,356
Trudie, that word is
so tacky.
51
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,398
(Trudie)
Hi, mom.
52
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,566
Hi, honey.
53
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,609
We're just getting
organized here.
54
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,943
We had to bring
everything.
55
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,028
You never know
with a rental.
56
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,863
So you have directions
and everything?
57
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,490
I do.
58
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,075
I'm going to be doing seating
arrangements for dinner.
59
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,077
So I just wanted
to make sure
60
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,162
that Nick is still
coming with you.
61
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,081
Of course he is.
62
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,208
Cocktails at 6:00 sharp.
63
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,710
I know, mom.
64
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,212
[Muted ring]
65
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,339
We are so excited
to meet him, honey.
66
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,174
It's going to be
a very special Christmas.
67
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,258
You think
he could be the one?
68
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,302
I don't know, mom.
69
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,054
Oh.
70
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,515
Yeah, maybe he could.
71
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,808
Look, I don't have time
to talk about this right now.
72
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,267
I gotta get ready
for the interview.
73
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,852
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
74
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,187
Wear your Christmas dress.
75
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,980
It's a great color on you,
76
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,108
and the style really
slims your hips.
77
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,985
Mom, no,
I'm already dressed!
78
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,404
And please, for Christmas
this year,
79
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,988
no more pink sweaters,
please!
80
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,990
Honey, pink is the best
color on you
81
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,367
with your blue eyes and‐‐
82
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,160
I don't even know
if it fits anymore.
83
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,453
I am telling you you have
to dress for the job...
84
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,248
Okay...okay...okay!
85
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,582
Here, honey,
talk to your dad.
86
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,792
No, no, no, I don't
have time to talk to‐‐
87
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,168
(dad)
Hey, hey!
Hi, dad.
88
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,003
Listen, you told Mr. Portnoy
89
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,131
that I don't have any
sales experience, right?
90
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,132
What do you mean?
You sold him lemonade.
91
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,467
I sold him lemonade
when I was ten,
92
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,885
when he called me
"little pootie."
93
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,596
Listen, never take no
for an answer.
94
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,557
And do not leave that room
until the job is yours, okay?
95
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,101
Okay, well, what did you
tell him I've been doing?
96
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,144
Well, I didn't.
97
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,603
I just said
you're a late bloomer,
98
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,522
but that you're ready
to get your life together.
99
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,399
So you make me proud.
I can't wait to see you.
100
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,608
Love ya, mwah!
Okay.
101
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,901
Drive safe, okay?
Bye.
102
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,820
Love you.
103
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,155
I can feel it, honey.
104
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,240
I think things are turning
around for you.
105
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,951
Okay.
Bye, mom.
106
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,953
Oh, honey, honey, be sure to do
something with your hair.
107
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,164
Oh, my god.
108
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,624
Oh, no!
109
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,001
This can't be happening!
110
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,252
[Screams]
111
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,088
(Trudie)
Yep, the day started out
like any other.
112
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,299
Except it was
almost Christmas.
113
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,135
And the constant pressure
from my parents
114
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,637
to get a real job
and a serious boyfriend
115
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,139
was taking its toll.
116
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,057
It was enough to drive
anyone nuts.
117
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,728
But aren't most of US just
a hair away from crazy anyway?
118
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,022
I think difference
between sanity and insanity
119
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,441
often comes down to timing.
120
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,984
[Tires squeal]
121
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,778
[Glass shatters]
122
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,862
Oh!
123
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,864
You bitch!
124
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,240
[Horn honks]
125
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,373
[Elevator pings]
126
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,547
Hi, trudie Chandler.
I have a‐‐
you're late.
127
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,925
I know, I'm sorry.
He can't see you now.
128
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,718
Oh, no, no, I know
I'm a little late,
129
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,178
but you don't
understand.
130
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,721
You see, my parents
and Mr. Portnoy are neighbors.
131
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,181
So my dad set
this appointment,
132
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,141
so it's very important
that I see him.
133
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,519
If it was so important,
you should have been on time.
134
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,813
He's in with his
next interview.
135
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,397
No.
136
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,440
No, he can't be.
137
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,734
No, I can't miss
this interview.
138
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,406
Don't even
think about it.
139
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,039
Mr. Portnoy, it's me!
Little pootie!
140
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,083
From the corner!
Come on!
141
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,334
Come on, you know
I can sell.
142
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,336
I made more money
143
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,587
than any of those other girls
on the street!
144
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,923
We have a code red up here.
145
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,635
[Grunting]
146
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:47,055
But things are finally
turning around for me.
147
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,317
Oh!
How'd it go?
148
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,862
I'm pretty sure
I didn't get it.
149
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,280
Hey, what are you doing?
150
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,407
I don't pay you to chitchat
with your friend, okay?
151
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,658
Get to work or you'll be
out in the gutter.
152
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,118
Shut up, taj.
153
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,287
You're gonna fire me
like I'm gonna sleep with you.
154
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,664
He would not keep his
great‐grandfather's gun here
155
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,585
if he knew how close I come
to killing him every day.
156
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,379
Oh, my god.
Ugh, I left it in too long.
157
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,840
My mom's always complaining
that my hair hangs in my face.
158
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,593
Oh, my god.
159
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,637
It's my Christmas dress.
My mom got it for me.
160
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,056
Taj is really into
Christmas this year.
161
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,600
But he's hindu.
162
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,143
Pssh.
163
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,187
How do I look?
164
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,398
Oh, sweetie.
165
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,818
Oh, Lucy, I completely
blew the interview.
166
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,944
I can't believe
I have to go home today.
167
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,404
There's gonna be
nowhere to hide.
168
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,406
I mean, my mom wanted this
to be a special Christmas,
169
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,825
so she rented a cabin
in the middle of nowhere.
170
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,077
We're gonna be trapped
like the shining.
171
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,079
I'm sorry.
172
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,623
I'd offer to come
with you,
173
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,041
but Steve and I are
having our first
174
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,542
Christmas alone together.
175
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,793
That's okay.
176
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,794
I still have one more
chance for survival.
177
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,004
Nick's coming with me.
178
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,464
Table two wants their check.
Table two.
179
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,673
What?
180
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,258
That's a little fast,
isn't it?
181
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,676
No, it's been
a couple of months.
182
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,345
Besides, I have nothing
to offer these people.
183
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,096
No husband.
No grandchildren.
184
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,514
My dad already thinks
I'm a lesbian.
185
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,683
So you're using Nick to get
your parents off your back.
186
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,143
Yes‐‐no!
187
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,519
He's just great
at first impressions.
188
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,313
My parents are gonna
love him.
189
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,148
I don't know what you have
against him anyway.
190
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,067
I guess elitist jackasses
aren't my type.
191
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,485
They're not yours either.
192
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,070
Look, so his family
owns banks.
193
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,988
What's wrong with wealthy
and successful for a change?
194
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,948
It's easy to be wealthy
and successful
195
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,117
if you're born into wealth
and handed success.
196
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,494
Well, he's coming
to pick me up at 2:00,
197
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,828
so can you please
try to control
198
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,163
the chronic bitch‐itis,
please?
199
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,583
Check, check, check.
Table two, check, hurry up!
200
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,047
I said I wanted
hot fudge, you chowderhead.
201
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,965
Nice.
202
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,176
(Nick)
Excuse me.
203
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,973
When are you gonna quit
this heinous job?
204
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,308
Oh, you're here, yes!
205
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,187
Oh, my god.
What happened to you?
206
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,064
Believe it or not,
I was trying
207
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,273
not to attract attention
from my parents.
208
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,609
Yeah, about that.
209
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,652
I think I'm gonna pass
210
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,195
on the whole holiday
song and dance.
211
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,196
What is that
supposed to mean?
212
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,989
Well, just meeting
your parents
213
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,157
is a whole other level,
214
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,075
and I don't think
we're there yet.
215
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,244
Oh, uh‐huh,
okay, okay, uh‐huh.
216
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,829
Well, do you think
that maybe
217
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,039
in like the next ten minutes
we could get to that level?
218
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:18,998
Because my parents
are expecting you
219
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,458
to come home with me.
220
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,335
I don't think we're ever
gonna get there, sweetheart.
221
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,255
You can't bail
on me now, Nick.
222
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,591
I mean, you know,
cocktails are at 6:00 sharp!
223
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,801
I need you.
224
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,470
Yeah, the needy thing?
Not a turn on.
225
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,389
I can't believe this.
226
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,849
This is‐‐this is
not happening!
227
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,100
Why did you tell me
228
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,309
you were gonna come home
with me for Christmas
229
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,644
if you were never
gonna do it?
230
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,981
Because I knew that that's
what you wanted to hear.
231
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:47,152
You know, and we hadn't
had sex yet, so...
232
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,529
Heh.
Yeah, see you later.
233
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,657
Wait!
234
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,242
If you walk out
that door now,
235
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:57,454
we are so over.
236
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,623
Uh...yeah.
237
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,125
Okay.
238
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,882
[Bell rings]
239
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,508
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, oh, my god.
240
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,676
Oh, my god.
241
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,219
Hey, what's up?
I'm waiting for Jessica.
242
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,221
Right over there.
243
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,806
Dude, of course
I'm sure.
244
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,808
So wish me luck, okay?
Thank you.
245
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,810
Bye.
246
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,067
Hey, hey, hey!
Wake up!
247
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,068
Come on, hurry up.
Customer, table ten!
248
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,402
Go, go, go!
249
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,071
Took you long enough.
250
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,409
What can I get for you?
251
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,163
Uh, I'll take
a cheeseburger and fries
252
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:44,084
and a Caesar salad, please.
Dressing on the side.
253
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,129
Do you need
to write it down?
254
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,800
[Bell rings repeatedly]
255
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,227
[Overlapping voices]
256
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,978
Mm, this is good,
this is good!
257
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,897
(Dad)
Said you were a late bloomer.
258
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,232
(Trudie)
You can't bail
on me now, Nick!
259
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:11,027
(Katherine)
Cocktails are at 6:00.
260
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,862
Actually it was my father's.
261
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,947
(Nick)
'Cause I knew that's what
you wanted to hear,
262
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,865
and we hadn't had sex yet.
263
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,451
I don't think we're ever
gonna get there, sweetheart.
264
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,247
You okay?
Where's Nick?
265
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,998
Oh, merry Christmas.
266
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,459
[Cell phone ringing]
267
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,002
Hey, what is
that ringing?
268
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:34,384
What is that?
269
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,635
Hello, mom.
270
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,679
Trudie?
I knew it.
271
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,597
You haven't left yet,
have you?
I'm sorry, mom.
272
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,849
I said 6:00.
273
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,475
Honey, what part of that
274
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,476
did you not understand?
275
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,145
You know, trudie,
276
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,604
the entire world can manage
to be on time.
277
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,022
Why can't you do
this one thing for me?
278
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,109
Are you trying
to ruin Christmas?
279
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,068
Trudie?
280
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,654
We're leaving now.
281
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,947
Nick's bringing
dinner clothes, right?
282
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:59,033
Yeah, he's wearing
a blue blazer,
283
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,743
dress shirt, pink tie.
284
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,287
Did you plan
the matching pink?
285
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,789
No, we didn't plan it.
Get in the car.
286
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,673
Excuse me.
You're not going
to the bathroom.
287
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,757
Oh, this isn't
the restroom?
288
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,801
You're coming with me.
289
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,554
No, I'm going
to the bathroom.
290
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,931
Uh, look, I'm not sure
what kind of
291
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,725
government‐sponsored
work program
292
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,476
you're a part of, but i‐‐
[Gun cocks]
293
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,978
What the hell is that?
294
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,813
It's a gun.
Are you sure?
295
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,064
Yeah, it's a gun.
296
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,524
It was used
to fight the British.
297
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,734
Maybe you heard
of a little thing
298
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,111
called the Indian war
of independence, 1857.
299
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,821
You're kidding, right?
300
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,239
[Grunting]
Move it!
301
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,241
Hey, watch it!
302
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,127
Aah‐‐unh!
303
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,131
Oh, for the love of god!!
304
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,805
Wake up.
Wake up!
305
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,852
[Grunting]
306
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,146
You, blitzen.
307
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,522
Excuse you?
308
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,483
I'm looking
for my boyfriend.
309
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,485
Handsome,
nice dimples.
310
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,071
Handsome, nice dimples.
Don't see him.
311
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,657
Maybe this is his way
of dumping you.
312
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,242
Oh!
313
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:29,666
♪ You say I gotta
learn a lesson today ♪
314
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,209
♪ yeah, hey, hey, hey ♪
315
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,962
♪ you say I need
a good punch in the face ♪
316
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,172
♪ yeah, hey, hey, hey ♪
317
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,423
Unh.
318
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,801
Hi.
Huh?
319
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,219
Hi?
320
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,096
How's your head?
321
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,681
How about I take
the blindfold off now?
322
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,182
How'd that be?
323
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,187
Hi.
324
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,772
Hello.
325
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,985
[Straining]
326
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,071
Look, I'm not sure
what's going on
327
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,698
or what you want
from me,
328
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:05,994
but this plan doesn't
seem very well thought out.
329
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,161
Let's face it.
I'm a guy.
330
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,122
And sooner or later,
I will overpower you.
331
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,206
Yeah, good point.
332
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,959
Unless you knock
yourself out first.
333
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,044
Or I shoot you.
[Gun cocks]
334
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,674
You seem like a nice girl.
335
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,302
Probably nothing a little
lithium couldn't fix.
336
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,512
Come on, you're not really
337
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,097
gonna shoot me
with that thing.
338
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,265
[Squeaking]
339
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,475
Aah!
340
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,186
Aah!
Oh, my god!
341
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,147
Oh, my god!
342
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,068
Sorry.
343
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,957
[Soft rock
playing on car radio]
344
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,377
♪ ♪
345
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,837
(Trudie)
So this is the deal.
346
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,213
You're coming home with me
to spend Christmas
347
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,340
with my family
as my boyfriend Nick,
348
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,092
who unfortunately
couldn't make it.
349
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,553
I'm not doing anything
like that, looney tunes.
350
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,346
You don't exactly
have a choice, Dwayne.
351
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,642
It's David, and...
352
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,685
Oh!
353
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,063
Your boyfriend dumped you.
354
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,190
No, I told you.
He couldn't make it.
355
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,941
Right.
356
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,860
You're one of those
hairy lady
357
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,196
man‐hater types
who's been rejected
358
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,197
time after time,
359
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,157
and now
you're taking it out
360
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,366
on an innocent bystander.
361
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,078
What?
No, I'm not!
362
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,467
[Engine turns off]
363
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,302
Gas, gas station.
364
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,262
Green and white sign,
green and white.
365
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,265
Hey, you know
there's no way
366
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,059
you're gonna pull
this off, right?
367
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,310
What are you gonna do,
368
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,645
hold the gun on me during
Christmas dinner?
369
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,563
The second I get to your house
and tell your family
370
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,941
how demented you are‐‐
hey!
371
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,484
Hey, that's getting
personal.
372
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,735
Hey, what are you doing?
373
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,238
No cell phone?
374
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,491
It's in my coat.
At the diner.
375
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:12,203
Where I left it
before I was kidnapped!
376
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,377
[Straining]
377
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,337
Man, what is this stuff
made of?
378
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,297
[Bell rings]
379
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,590
Oh, hello.
380
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,717
Hi.
381
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,387
[Clerk chuckling]
382
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:37,186
Uh, just $10 worth
and this.
383
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:43,109
Ah.
384
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,361
[Cash register beeping]
385
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,737
There you go.
386
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,158
I usually pump the gas
for the pretty ladies.
387
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,660
Oh, please,
that's not necessary.
388
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,662
You wouldn't want
to deny an old man
389
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,081
one of the few pleasures
he has left.
390
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,374
Oh, no, really!
391
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,417
You don't
have to do that.
392
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,459
I can handle it.
393
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,419
(Clerk)
Whoa!
394
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,212
What's going on here,
sweetheart?
395
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,464
Uh, that's my boyfriend.
396
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,924
I'm surprising him
with a weekend in the woods.
397
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,218
You know, the wild
kind of weekend.
398
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,345
The "tie me up,
tie me down" kind.
399
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,055
You better come
with me, young lady.
400
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,474
I really
don't have time.
401
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,445
[Pump ringing]
402
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,619
These are
on the house, honey.
403
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,456
Oh!
Oh, thanks.
404
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,458
Yeah.
405
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,417
Well, you better
watch out,
406
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,919
or I'll come back
for you next.
407
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,921
[Chuckling]
408
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,346
Okay.
409
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,805
So...this kidnapping
410
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,516
just got a little bit
more professional.
411
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,060
(David)
You're kidding.
412
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,978
[Straining]
413
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,277
And more comfy too,
right?
414
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,864
And just slightly
more humiliating.
415
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,449
[Engine starts]
416
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,909
Lucky little bastard.
417
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:20,414
[Chuckles]
418
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,213
[Soft rock
playing on radio]
419
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,465
♪ ♪
420
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,218
Look, I'd like
to apologize for earlier
421
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,971
for raising my voice
and for...
422
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,266
You know, shooting
near your...Manhood.
423
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,229
Beef jerky?
424
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,983
Thank you.
That's very kind.
425
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,527
Okay, so I think
we should share
426
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,529
a few important facts
about each other.
427
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,532
Let me guess.
Um...
428
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,284
You're some sort
of a vice president
429
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:01,289
of a‐‐a company
your father owns.
430
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,083
Okay, that's a yes.
431
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,251
Um...
432
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,587
Your parents
bought your first house.
433
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,381
You sail and golf.
434
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:13,467
I'm guessing
a 14 handicap.
435
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,803
And you're probably
some sort of
436
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,015
a zeta beta beta
schmeta.
437
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,393
Okay, yes, yes, and yes.
438
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,645
I'm a ten handicap.
439
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,855
Oh, how great for you.
440
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,399
Well, I think
it's safe to say
441
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,234
I've lost my job
at taj's diner deluxe.
442
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,861
I live in a crappy loft
downtown.
443
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,362
I don't golf.
444
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,489
Yeah, that pretty much
sums it up.
445
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,259
[Engine turns off]
446
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,219
Ugh.
447
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,348
Okay, I'll be right back.
448
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,482
[Nutcracker suite playing]
449
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:14,737
[Front door opens
and closes]
450
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,281
(Katherine)
Ooh, there she is!
451
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:22,119
Look who's here!
Oh, my baby, oh!
452
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,287
Mom, don't cry.
453
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,955
Let me look at you‐‐
oh, my gosh!
454
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,374
What have you done
to your hair?
455
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,084
You look like
one of those actresses
456
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,377
in a pornographic movie.
457
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,628
I have porn star hair?
458
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,338
How do you even know
what a porn star looks like?
459
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,506
Trudie!
460
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,091
Oh, but let me look
at the dress.
461
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,509
Oh, it looks gorgeous.
462
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,344
What do you think,
Richard?
463
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,304
I think it's too tight.
Hi, dad.
464
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,306
So what the hell
happened today?
465
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,475
I don't know.
I was late‐‐
466
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,518
Mr. Portnoy did this
as a favor.
467
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,395
You know what?
It's a reflection on me.
468
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,146
I know, and I'm sorry‐‐
I'm sorry.
469
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,398
Could we not talk
about this now?
470
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,024
I don't want
to ruin Christmas
471
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,317
by all this
negative talk.
472
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,360
Where's Nick?
473
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,861
Oh, he's in the car.
474
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,488
But I wanted
to tell you guys.
475
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,447
You know when we go
to a restaurant
476
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,700
and dad tells jokes
to the waitresses
477
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,992
and they're stupid
and embarrassing
478
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,077
but he thinks it's funny?
Mm‐hmm.
479
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,370
Well, um, sometimes
480
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,540
when Nick feels awkward
in a social situation
481
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,291
he does this whole,
"I didn't want to be here,
482
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,252
I've been
kidnapped" thing.
483
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,920
Kind of weird,
but he thinks it's funny.
484
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,130
So just laugh along
485
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,798
so it doesn't make him
feel bad, okay?
486
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,469
Okay.
487
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,555
We're very excited
to meet him.
488
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,223
Okay, look, dad, please
489
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,474
try not
to embarrass him, okay?
490
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,727
Yeah, fine.
491
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,152
Okay, we're on.
492
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,903
No, I'm not going.
493
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,488
Well, it's nice and warm
in the house.
494
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,699
You'll freeze to death
out here.
495
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,785
Fine, this charade's
about to end right now.
496
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,253
[Front door slams]
497
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,838
Ahem.
498
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:56,881
Welcome.
499
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,466
Oh, this is so,
so special.
500
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:02,344
You are the first boyfriend
trudie's ever brought home.
501
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,638
Yeah, we thought maybe
she liked the innies.
502
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,265
You know,
not the outies.
503
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,976
Oh, my god, Richard!
You know what I mean?
504
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,811
Okay.
505
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,480
Listen to me
very carefully.
506
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,398
She forced me
to come here.
507
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,359
This woman
held me at gunpoint,
508
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,320
kidnapped me, and brought me
to this house
509
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,157
as her hostage.
510
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:26,160
[Laughter]
511
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,328
I see what you mean.
512
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,456
What are you laughing at?
Did you just hear me?
513
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,500
Yeah.
Mm‐hmm.
514
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,043
Your daughter is a crazy,
dangerous, criminal.
515
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,378
Yes, she is!
Ooh...
516
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,756
Would you like
some eggnog?
517
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,966
I have a secret ingredient
that makes all the difference.
518
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,134
[Whispering]
It's ground cloves.
519
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,387
What's the matter
with you people?!
520
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:46,514
Are you all nuts?
521
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,015
All right, honey,
that's enough.
522
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,975
I will be right back.
You have yourself a seat, Nick.
523
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,268
My name is not Nick!
524
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:52,436
Yeah, he does that too.
525
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,522
And I will not have a seat!
526
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,607
Okay, well, I'm gonna go
help mom with the eggnog.
527
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,571
Oh.
528
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,492
[Laughing]
Come on.
529
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:09,245
Nick, have a seat.
Come on.
530
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,871
Mom, I was wondering
531
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,456
if I could be
key master this year.
532
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,707
Really?
533
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,668
Usually you hate
the idea of key master.
534
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,253
Yeah, you know,
the idea of being
535
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:18,379
forcibly trapped
at the holidays
536
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,672
used to bother me,
but now I see
537
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,674
the higher
social purpose.
538
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:24,009
Ah‐ha, well, you sure
you can handle grandma?
539
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,427
You know how she is.
540
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,929
And that's before
she dips into the eggnog.
541
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:28,597
She's like 75 years old.
542
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,475
Yes, but she's still
freakishly strong.
543
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:32,560
I think I can handle it.
544
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,272
I'm trusting you.
545
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:15,227
Hello!
546
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,151
Hello!
Is anyone out there?
547
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:26,405
[Animal howls]
548
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,825
[Croaking]
Help.
549
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,827
[Shivering]
550
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,048
Look, sir, I think
I can clear up
551
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,466
this situation,
and we can forget
552
00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:46,383
the whole thing
ever happened.
553
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,719
I just need to use
the phone.
554
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,387
No phones in the house.
555
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,097
What about a cell phone?
556
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,891
Ah, the key master's got
all the cell phones.
557
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,102
Apparently it interferes
with our quality family time.
558
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,813
[Chuckles]
Yeah, what are
you gonna do?
559
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:00,940
[Front door opens]
560
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,274
(Man)
Oh, this place is great!
561
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,318
Oh, wow.
562
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,319
Gang's all here!
563
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,403
Hey!
Hi, dad!
564
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,322
How did my kids
get so good looking?
565
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,907
Most beautiful girl
in the world.
566
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:11,116
(Woman)
Merry Christmas!
567
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,159
I want to hear
all about school.
568
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,703
Hey, how are you, stud?
569
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:17,331
I'm good.
That's my boy.
570
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,625
Gosh, you look stunning.
Have you lost weight?
571
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,251
No. I cut out
dairy though.
572
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,379
You look fantastic.
Thanks, mom.
573
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,588
Mom, you look good.
Hi!
574
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,756
Wow, mom, you have really
575
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,341
made it look perfect
576
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:28,384
and christmassy.
577
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,260
Thank you.
Yeah, some digs, ma.
578
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,512
What, did you cash in
dad's 401k?
579
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:32,805
Hey!
580
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,098
Hey, where's jan?
581
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,265
I thought she was coming.
582
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,142
I told you she had
to stay in town to work.
583
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,352
I'm lucky I could take
the time off.
584
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,770
You work too hard.
585
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,188
Well, markets don't stop
when I'm not there, ma.
586
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,399
Hey, numb nuts,
come here!
587
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:44,817
Look at this hair!
What is that?
588
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,987
Look at that!
Jake, Jake,
we have company.
589
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,488
I would like you to meet
trudie's boyfriend, Nick.
590
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,531
Hey, nice to meet you.
591
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:52,825
I'm not her boyfriend!
592
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:55,369
I met her today when
she poked a musket in my ribs,
593
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:56,829
tied me up
with furry handcuffs,
594
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,747
and drove me to wherever
I am right now.
595
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,959
Furry handcuffs.
Now I'm embarrassed.
596
00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:05,254
[Laughter]
597
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:07,589
He's‐‐it's‐‐
oh, it's a whole thing.
598
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,133
All right,
come here.
599
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:10,509
Look, jake‐‐is it Jake?
Yeah.
600
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,386
You look like
a reasonable person.
601
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:14,138
Listen to me, man.
602
00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:15,472
You may think
your sister is normal.
603
00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:18,183
But she's not.
Believe me.
604
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,810
She is a psychopath.
605
00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:21,854
Tell me about it!
606
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,063
Huh?
Ha ha!
607
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,274
All right,
I want eggnog.
608
00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:27,317
Come on, Nick.
609
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,485
Merry Christmas.
Come on.
610
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:38,620
Okay, Nick,
you'll be in here.
611
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,956
And, trudie‐‐
mom, I am 27 years old.
612
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:42,374
I'm gonna sleep in the same
room as my boyfriend.
613
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,418
End of story.
614
00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:47,671
Oh.
Okay, dear.
615
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:52,509
Yeah, you better get
used to these bunk beds.
616
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,344
Because that's what
you're gonna be sharing
617
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:56,472
with you new jail buddies,
mad dog and roz.
618
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,807
Why don't you try
and relax?
619
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,518
Oh, make no mistake,
freak show.
620
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,729
I will find a way
out of here.
621
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,897
And what's gonna
keep me going
622
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:06,523
is the look
on your twisted face
623
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,068
as they haul you off
to the slammer.
624
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:11,278
You know, you might as well
settle down,
625
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,905
because there's
no way out of here.
626
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,531
See, as the key master,
I have control
627
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,033
of all the car keys
and cell phones,
628
00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:18,327
which I've hidden quite well,
if I do say so myself.
629
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,497
So you might as well try
and get a good night's sleep
630
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,539
because we have a couple
of big days
631
00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:23,707
ahead of US, shnookums.
632
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:40,224
[Snoring]
633
00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:59,618
Be the key master.
Be the key master.
634
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,598
There's gotta be
a neighbor somewhere.
635
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,523
♪ Come on,
it's lovely weather ♪
636
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,943
♪ for a sleigh ride
together with you ♪
637
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:35,112
♪ outside the snow
is falling ♪
638
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,780
♪ and friends
are calling yoo‐hoo ♪
639
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:40,158
♪ come on,
it's lovely weather ♪
640
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,160
♪ for a sleigh ride
together with you... ♪
641
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,247
So...you've been walking
for what, about an hour?
642
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,379
Look, why don't you just
come back to the house?
643
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,590
We'll make some
hot chocolate, okay?
644
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:58,594
♪ Our cheeks
are nice and rosy ♪
645
00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,596
♪ and comfy and cozy
are we ♪
646
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,307
[Engine turns off]
647
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,267
No hot chocolate
for you then?
648
00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:16,653
[Cell phone vibrating]
649
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,040
Hello.
650
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,458
Hey, it's me.
651
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:30,459
What happened
to you yesterday?
652
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,585
You looked kind of strange.
653
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:32,586
And then I turned around
and you were gone.
654
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:33,587
Are you okay?
655
00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:35,297
Yeah, I'm fine.
656
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:38,550
Well, not exactly fine.
657
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,344
I think I had a little bit
of a nervous breakdown.
658
00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,304
I didn't know
they came in sizes.
659
00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,389
Yeah, and i‐‐
660
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,557
I did something
kind of crazy.
661
00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,819
Hey, good morning.
662
00:28:57,819 --> 00:28:59,279
Morning.
663
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,405
Come on, sit down.
664
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,490
I'll make you
a special breakfast.
665
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:02,991
It's not that big
of a deal.
666
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,118
Not that big of a deal?
667
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:07,829
You have to let him go
right now.
668
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,498
What are you gonna do
after the holidays?
669
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:11,208
You can't keep him.
He's not a puppy.
670
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:12,250
I know.
671
00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,293
Look, I haven't thought
that far ahead,
672
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,294
but I'll figure it out.
673
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,545
I hope you like
eggs Benedict,
674
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:18,423
and I hope
you're hungry.
675
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,592
A little fruit salad.
676
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,552
Here you go.
677
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,721
Thank you.
Mm‐hmm.
678
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:30,268
You didn't sleep
in those clothes, did you?
679
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,479
Yeah, I'm trying
to tell you that‐‐
680
00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:35,941
oh, you know in all the chaos,
we forgot his suitcase.
681
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,567
That's right.
682
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:39,319
I left it at the diner.
683
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,905
You know I should really
call about that, bunny.
684
00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:43,490
Could I borrow
your phone, please?
685
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:45,033
Sorry, I didn't bring
my phone, sweet pea.
686
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:47,327
Yes, your did.
It's in your‐‐
687
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:50,455
oh!
Trudie!
688
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:51,707
Ohh.
689
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:54,835
You were supposed
to put that away.
690
00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,336
Right.
Forgot.
691
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:57,796
I'll go get you
something to wear
692
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,131
while I wash
your clothes.
693
00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:00,799
Richard always brings
a few things
694
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,342
he thinks he'll be able
to fit into
695
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:05,053
if he loses ten pounds.
696
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:10,308
Give me the phone.
Come and get it.
697
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:12,019
Give it!
No!
698
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,860
You know, I ran track
in high school.
699
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,361
I played football,
and my nickname was flash.
700
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,113
Ooh, scary!
701
00:30:29,119 --> 00:30:32,289
You know, I was also
really good at home ec.
702
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:34,958
Oh, really?
That's useful.
703
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:36,334
Right, it is.
704
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:37,419
Because I was really good
at making one dish.
705
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:38,503
What's that?
706
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:41,298
Beef tenderloin.
707
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:43,592
Extra tender.
708
00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:46,344
Don't do it.
Don't do it!
709
00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:53,351
Here you go, Nick.
710
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:58,523
Thank you.
711
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:07,616
[Breathes deeply]
This sucks.
712
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,327
So the sheep dog says,
"the sheep dog don't talk."
713
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:13,538
You get it?
714
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:14,790
(Trudie)
No.
715
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:16,750
[Laughter]
716
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:18,293
Oh, you don't get it?
717
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,711
Oh, nice look.
718
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:22,089
Yeah, reganomics, huh?
719
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,298
No!
720
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:24,716
[Silverware clatters]
721
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,218
[Exhales]
722
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,887
I forgot the extra virgin
olive oil.
723
00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,097
How could that
have happened?
724
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,565
I'd be happy to go
to the store for you.
725
00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,818
No, mom.
726
00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:44,986
I should go.
It'd be rude to send a guest.
727
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,530
It is a long drive.
728
00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:49,116
No, really,
it'd be my pleasure.
729
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:50,784
Well, Nick,
thank you so much.
730
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,285
But you know what?
Richard will drive.
731
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:53,537
You go with him.
Mom‐‐
732
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:55,372
trudie, trudie, I'm gonna
need your help, honey.
733
00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:57,457
And this is a good opportunity
for the men to, you know,
734
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,959
have some quality time
together.
735
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:00,418
Mom!
Gertrude Marie.
736
00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:06,842
Well, come on, Nick.
Richard will drive.
737
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:09,761
You go get the keys.
738
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:10,929
Thank you!
739
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,273
[Richard humming]
740
00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:25,110
This should undo
the damage.
741
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:26,862
I don't know
what you were thinking.
742
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:29,406
Who perms
their hair anymore?
743
00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:33,285
No offense, but this
look says desperate.
744
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,078
Guys can tell when
you're trying too hard.
745
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,080
So you dating anyone
at law school, Katie?
746
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,665
I'm dating a few guys.
747
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:39,749
Katie!
748
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:42,169
I didn't say I slept
with them.
749
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:44,004
I'm not a slut.
750
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:45,797
I know.
751
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,009
I just want to know how trudie
hooked up with Nick.
752
00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:50,927
He is so hot.
753
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,430
Oh, I just gave him
no choice...
754
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:54,431
But to love me.
755
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:56,433
Yeah, well,
he is something.
756
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:57,976
He's well‐spoken.
He's successful.
757
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:58,977
He's handsome.
758
00:32:58,977 --> 00:32:59,978
I think your father's
759
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,605
taken a liking to him.
760
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,940
I'm sure they're bonding.
761
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,322
[Engine turns off]
762
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,869
Mister, you have to help me.
I've been kidnapped.
763
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:17,454
Let me guess.
764
00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:20,290
By a sexy lady
in a pink dress.
765
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:22,500
Yes, yes, you remember!
766
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,836
And she tied you up
and blindfolded you.
767
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:28,131
Yes, yes, that's right,
that's right!
768
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:32,219
And she spanks you
and does naughty things.
769
00:33:32,219 --> 00:33:33,845
What are you doing?
Ew, that's disgusting.
770
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:38,058
Extra virgin
olive oil.
771
00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,893
What does that mean?
772
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:41,436
Can you really be
an extra virgin?
773
00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:43,271
[Chuckling]
774
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:45,774
Got a little woman at home
775
00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:49,319
loves to have everything
lathered up in oil.
776
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:51,446
Not that I'm complaining.
777
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:53,240
That's the best thing
about the holidays.
778
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:57,661
No guilt.
Right, son?
779
00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,122
Oh.
780
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:08,129
[Pounding on door]
781
00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,427
Where in god's name
are we?
782
00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:17,138
I'm freezing
my ta‐tas off.
783
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,974
Well, merry Christmas
to you too, grandma.
784
00:34:18,974 --> 00:34:20,267
Oh, don't call me that!
785
00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:25,814
Unh!
786
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:35,156
All right, old man,
I'm not leaving here
787
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:36,324
until you help me!
788
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,118
I'm coming back there
and I'm gonna use that phone.
789
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,536
There's not gonna be
any trouble
790
00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:41,788
in my store,
super freak.
791
00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:46,459
Now back that ass up
nice and slow.
792
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:49,296
[Exhales]
793
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:02,767
I'm gonna turn the radio‐‐
794
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:06,646
[both screaming
and grunting]
795
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,402
I'm busting out of here!
796
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:15,238
Calm down, son!
797
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,281
I just want
to go home!
798
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,074
Oh, I know.
799
00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:20,452
Relationships can seem
suffocating at times,
800
00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,078
but, you know,
it'll pass.
801
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:30,629
Now don't you worry.
This'll be our little secret.
802
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:39,804
There it is.
803
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:41,264
(Jake)
Sweet.
804
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,807
Don't take the pieces
from my side, please.
805
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,476
There's pieces
missing.
806
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:47,103
Hi, hi.
How'd it go?
807
00:35:47,103 --> 00:35:48,313
(Richard)
Everything's fine,
honey.
808
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:50,231
Yeah, everything's fine.
809
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,316
[Pants rip]
810
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,109
[David grunts]
811
00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:54,653
[Family chuckling]
Uh‐oh!
812
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,824
Oh, just like
Paul Newman.
813
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,368
Nice, firm‐‐
814
00:36:01,368 --> 00:36:02,369
grandma!
815
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,079
Dolores Grant.
816
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,914
Nice to meet you.
817
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,667
Hey, dude, I've got
some clothes you can borrow.
818
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,043
Come on.
819
00:36:10,043 --> 00:36:14,422
Whatever.
Thanks, man.
820
00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:18,843
[Laughter]
821
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,804
I didn't like those pants
anyway.
822
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:25,308
Here, try those.
823
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,440
You have a phone?
824
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,402
Yeah.
Keep it to yourself, though.
825
00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:37,445
You know how my mom is
about phones at Christmas.
826
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,406
Heh.
827
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,908
Uh, I need to make a call.
828
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,159
Could I borrow it
for a minute?
829
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:45,954
Sure.
830
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,248
Thanks.
831
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:06,349
[Knock]
I'll be out
in a minute!
832
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:08,768
Let's go in there,
sunshine.
833
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,603
(Jessica's voice)
Hi, you've reached
Jessica's voicemail.
834
00:37:10,603 --> 00:37:12,355
Damn it!
835
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:17,277
[Telephone ringing]
836
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,824
Maria.
837
00:37:22,824 --> 00:37:24,743
Hello.
838
00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:26,327
Mrs. Barber, it's David.
839
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:29,247
Hello, darling.
Merry Christmas.
840
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:30,331
(David)
I was looking for Jessica,
841
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,417
but I don't have time
for that now.
842
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:33,668
Listen, I've been
taken hostage!
843
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:37,130
Maria, I can't
reach my drink!
844
00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:39,424
Mrs. Barber,
are you there?
845
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:41,176
Let me get Jessica
for you, darling.
846
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,427
Jessica!
847
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:44,179
No, no, no, Mrs. Barber,
wait, wait, wait!
848
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:46,055
Maria.
849
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,932
Maria‐‐aah!
850
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:50,435
Oh, no, Mrs. Barber.
851
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,770
Not again.
852
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,273
Hey, where's Nick?
853
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,357
He's on the phone.
854
00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:57,692
Phone?
What phone?
855
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,360
My phone.
856
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,362
Oh!
Oh, man!
857
00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:10,163
[Telephone ringing]
858
00:38:10,163 --> 00:38:11,831
Hello.
859
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:14,334
Jessica!
Who's this?
860
00:38:14,334 --> 00:38:15,794
It's David.
861
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,128
I've got something
really important to tell you.
862
00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:18,838
Really?
863
00:38:18,838 --> 00:38:20,381
Because you said that
you had something important
864
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:22,634
to say yesterday,
and then you stood me up.
865
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,221
Is my boyfriend
in there?
866
00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:29,015
Daisy Mae has been in there
primping for ten minutes.
867
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:30,475
Open this door!
868
00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:32,352
(Jessica)
I skipped
my gamma pi delta
869
00:38:32,352 --> 00:38:33,394
alumni luncheon
to meet you.
870
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,354
Jessica, please listen to me.
871
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:37,148
And I am sure
that Betsy Palmer
872
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,483
jumped at the chance
873
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:40,151
to campaign for my spot
as social chair.
874
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,237
Open this door!
875
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:44,864
I was on Broadway once.
876
00:38:44,864 --> 00:38:46,825
Hey!
877
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,077
I was kidnapped
from the restaurant yesterday
878
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,328
by a waitress.
879
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,454
She's about 5'2".
880
00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,498
She's got crazy hair
and crazy eyes.
881
00:38:56,543 --> 00:38:58,378
If this is your way
of getting out
882
00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,379
of Christmas Eve
with my parents‐‐
883
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,547
(David)
Listen to me!
884
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,757
I'm couple hours
outside the city.
885
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:04,259
North, I think.
886
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:07,637
It's a log cabin.
Six plus four, rustic charm.
887
00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:09,430
Are you drunk?
888
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:11,099
Please, sweetheart,
I love you.
889
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:13,852
The important thing
yesterday?
890
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:15,186
I was going to propose.
891
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:18,314
Propose?
892
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:22,443
Go to the police and
tell them what's happened.
893
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:24,362
Jessica, are you there?!
894
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:27,073
Oh.
You're serious?
895
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,741
Yes!
896
00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:32,871
I have to go.
897
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,717
Did you talk
to someone on the phone?
898
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,386
Nope, couldn't get any
reception in the bathroom.
899
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,680
I don't believe you.
You talked to someone.
900
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,683
Okay, you're right.
I did.
901
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:56,394
And it's only a matter
of time now
902
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:59,355
until I'm broken out
of this asylum.
903
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:02,025
But I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
904
00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:03,359
Until that time,
905
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:06,321
I've decided
I'm gonna help you.
906
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,281
I'm gonna be the best
boyfriend ever,
907
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:10,283
and your parents are gonna
fall in love with me.
908
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:13,119
Why would you do that?
909
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:15,580
Because it's gonna be
more satisfying for me
910
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,124
when your family learns
the truth about you.
911
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,922
[Exhales]
912
00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:34,557
(David)
You have to swing your hips
913
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:36,059
in conjunction
with your shoulders.
914
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,143
If you watch tiger,
it's all connected.
915
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:40,146
One fluid motion.
There you go.
916
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:41,898
Playing through!
917
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:44,734
(Richard)
Okay.
918
00:40:44,734 --> 00:40:46,694
So what is it
you do, Nick?
919
00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:49,364
I work for a real estate
development company.
920
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:51,324
Really, which one?
Barber and partners.
921
00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:53,993
I know barber and partners.
That's a good company.
922
00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:55,954
My firm did
some legal work for you
923
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:57,330
on the pinehurst condos.
Oh, okay.
924
00:40:57,330 --> 00:40:58,706
What do you there?
925
00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:02,335
I'm a vice president
of new business.
926
00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:03,836
You know, there was a time
we thought trudie,
927
00:41:03,836 --> 00:41:05,463
with all her causes,
might go to law school
928
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:06,673
like her sister Katie.
929
00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:10,468
Being a democrat is not
a cause, dad.
930
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,303
But she got her degree
in liberal arts.
931
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:14,347
Fine arts, dad.
932
00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:15,723
I don't even know
what that means.
933
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,433
It's an expensive
way to say,
934
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:18,518
"do you want fries
with that?"
935
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:22,480
[Chuckling]
936
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,983
Oh, homemade ornaments.
937
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:27,485
Yeah, trudie made that
when she was five.
938
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,278
She was a little withdrawn
as a child.
939
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:30,488
Okay, mom.
940
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:31,990
You know,
her brother and sister
941
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,574
are so outgoing
and had so many friends.
942
00:41:33,574 --> 00:41:36,327
But trudie was‐‐i don't know‐‐
a little antisocial.
943
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,496
Really?
944
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:39,664
We even paid a little boy
down the street
945
00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:41,541
to be her friend,
but he gave US our money back.
946
00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:44,377
All right!
947
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:46,838
So from then on it was
trudie and her projects.
948
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,007
And of course bobo blonkers.
949
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:51,759
Bobo blonkers?
950
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,428
Her imaginary friend.
951
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:55,471
Thanks, mom.
Thanks a lot.
952
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:56,472
What?
What was that?
953
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:58,808
Are you talking
to bobo blonkers right now?
954
00:41:58,808 --> 00:42:00,059
I have an idea.
955
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,352
Why don't we let Nick
956
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:02,979
put the angel up
on the tree this year?
957
00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,272
Um, mom...
958
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:07,275
I've been doing it
since I was four years old.
959
00:42:07,275 --> 00:42:08,443
Remember when dad
used to hold me up
960
00:42:08,443 --> 00:42:10,653
to the top of the tree
and I was so cute up there?
961
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:12,363
I know, honey.
Don't be selfish.
962
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,408
Dad, it's my thing.
963
00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:17,326
I mean, this is my moment.
964
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:18,494
You know, it's tradition.
965
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:19,954
Does anyone care about
that anymore?
966
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,998
Trudie, what's wrong
with starting a new tradition?
967
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:24,292
Nick, up the tree.
968
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,294
Oh, thanks.
All right.
969
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:28,713
Thank you.
970
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:29,756
Yeah.
971
00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:33,301
Hey, there she is.
972
00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:36,304
[All shouting
and laughing]
973
00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:55,406
Woo!
974
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,325
[All cheering]
975
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:07,376
(David)
Wow, this is really
a great place.
976
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:09,462
You know, there's
an incredible craftsmanship
977
00:43:09,462 --> 00:43:12,507
that goes into a cabin
like this.
978
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,426
I'd say this is adirondack style
with a contemporary twist.
979
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,136
Yes, in the adirondacks,
980
00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:19,722
I starred
in a revival of medea.
981
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:21,682
Yes, we know that,
mother!
982
00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:22,975
You don't need
to shout, dear.
983
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,977
I'm not deaf.
984
00:43:26,395 --> 00:43:28,272
Nick, would you like
another piece of pie?
985
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,483
Sure.
986
00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:33,694
Trudie, would you get him
another piece of pie, please?
987
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:36,239
Well, he knows
where the kitchen is.
988
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:40,118
Are you trying
to ruin Christmas?
989
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:45,206
Oh, thank you,
bunnykins!
990
00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:47,375
[Chuckling]
991
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,419
Nick, every Christmas Eve,
992
00:43:50,419 --> 00:43:52,588
we read 'twas the night
before Christmas.
993
00:43:52,588 --> 00:43:54,132
And I was wondering
if maybe
994
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,758
you would like to do
the honors.
995
00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:59,137
[Family cheers
and applauds]
996
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,264
Really?
Oh, wow.
997
00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:04,433
Okay.
998
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:07,228
That's it.
I've had enough.
999
00:44:07,228 --> 00:44:08,813
Whoa.
1000
00:44:12,525 --> 00:44:15,695
Uh, I'm gonna‐‐yeah.
1001
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:19,866
Yeah, smart.
1002
00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,371
What's the matter
with you?
1003
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:26,581
What's the matter
with me?
1004
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:27,665
They're fawning
all over you
1005
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,292
like the last piece
of filet mignon.
1006
00:44:29,292 --> 00:44:30,459
That's what you wanted.
1007
00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:31,627
Isn't that the whole
point of all this?
1008
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,504
Yeah, but‐‐
but what?
1009
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:36,257
My family likes you
1010
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:39,218
more than...They like me.
1011
00:44:43,806 --> 00:44:45,308
Well, I didn't even want
to read the stupid story.
1012
00:44:45,308 --> 00:44:47,226
So don't read the story.
1013
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,895
I don't care
if you read the story.
1014
00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:50,313
Well, then fine.
1015
00:44:50,313 --> 00:44:52,732
Then I'm gonna read
the story.
1016
00:44:52,732 --> 00:44:53,733
Fine.
1017
00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:56,319
Fine.
1018
00:44:56,319 --> 00:44:59,405
[Moaning]
1019
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:02,408
(Richard)
Love this pie.
1020
00:45:02,408 --> 00:45:05,870
[Moaning]
1021
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,538
Is everything okay?
1022
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:09,332
Yeah, it's fine, mom.
1023
00:45:09,332 --> 00:45:11,459
(David)
Thank you.
1024
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:13,377
Okay, here we go.
1025
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:16,088
"Twas the night
before Christmas,
1026
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,299
"when all through
the house
1027
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:19,675
"not a creature
was stirring,
1028
00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:21,302
"not even a mouse.
1029
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:25,097
"The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care
1030
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:29,727
"in hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would be there.
1031
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,813
"The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
1032
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:36,651
while visions of sugarplums
danced in their heads."
1033
00:45:36,651 --> 00:45:39,570
[Sentimental music]
1034
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:42,490
♪ ♪
1035
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,325
[Laughter and applause]
1036
00:45:44,325 --> 00:45:46,535
Well done!
1037
00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,541
Mom, we don't have to leave
oreos and milk
1038
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:53,793
for Santa this year.
1039
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:56,462
What if Santa's hungry?
1040
00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:57,880
Will you put that away?
Mm‐hmm.
1041
00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:01,759
Mom, come on,
we're all adults here.
1042
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,219
We don't have to write
letters.
1043
00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:04,804
How is Santa going to know
what you want?
1044
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:10,059
Good night.
1045
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:12,144
Good night.
1046
00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:14,272
Hmm.
1047
00:46:14,272 --> 00:46:17,733
You can't eat those.
1048
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:18,818
What's it gonna look like
1049
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:21,487
if Santa doesn't eat
his cookies?
1050
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:23,864
Figures you're a dunker.
1051
00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,074
Of course.
1052
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:26,617
What are you,
a twister?
1053
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:29,370
That's so wrong
in so many ways.
1054
00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:31,455
All right, let's get
this over with.
1055
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,918
Oh, this so dumb.
1056
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,546
I hope you're not expecting
much from Santa.
1057
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,339
A federal offense
probably puts you
1058
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:43,092
on the naughty list
this year.
1059
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:45,344
Laugh it up.
You've gotta do one too.
1060
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:48,347
Hmm?
1061
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,141
This may take a while.
1062
00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:01,610
I'm gonna ask for a new
fully loaded s. U. V.
1063
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,404
Hmm, interesting.
1064
00:47:03,404 --> 00:47:06,365
I'm gonna ask for an end
to global warming.
1065
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:07,867
What, you think my list
is superficial?
1066
00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:09,035
I don't know.
Let me see it.
1067
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,037
No.
1068
00:47:11,037 --> 00:47:13,039
You want a pasta machine?
1069
00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:14,623
I like to cook.
1070
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,752
Don't you want something
more, you know, meaningful?
1071
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:20,212
I have everything I want.
1072
00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:24,592
Great job.
Beautiful girlfriend.
1073
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:30,431
Let me see yours.
1074
00:47:30,431 --> 00:47:33,976
"Tiki lights.
Chinese tea pot.
1075
00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:38,022
Stop disappointing
my parents."
1076
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,443
Come on, I'm sure
that's not true.
1077
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,737
Believe me, it's true.
1078
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,489
Look, your parents
are good people.
1079
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:49,742
And they love you.
1080
00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:53,371
I just wish for once
they'd look at me...
1081
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:54,872
You know, the way
they look at you.
1082
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,415
They do.
1083
00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:58,042
They don't.
1084
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:03,214
The best Christmas
I ever had, I was ten.
1085
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:05,174
I was taking
figure skating lessons,
1086
00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:06,509
and I was supposed to have
this big recital
1087
00:48:06,509 --> 00:48:07,551
on Christmas Eve.
1088
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,428
There was
this huge snowstorm
1089
00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,429
and they cancelled it.
1090
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:13,474
Oh, I was so upset.
1091
00:48:13,474 --> 00:48:15,559
But our house had
this patio in the back,
1092
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:16,811
and my dad shoveled it
1093
00:48:16,811 --> 00:48:19,772
and ran the hose over it
and made ice.
1094
00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:22,650
And my mom put lights in all
the trees in the backyard.
1095
00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:27,029
Oh, the glow was
so beautiful.
1096
00:48:27,029 --> 00:48:29,907
And it was so quiet.
1097
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:32,660
And that Christmas Eve,
I skated my little routine
1098
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:35,246
with my parents watching.
1099
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:38,958
It was like I was the only
person in the whole world.
1100
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:41,627
They were so proud of me.
1101
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:44,839
But somewhere along the way
things changed,
1102
00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:49,385
and I just...Wish
they still felt that way
1103
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:52,930
about me, you know?
1104
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,643
You know,
I think parents
1105
00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,812
want the best
for their kids.
1106
00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:03,566
But sometimes they don't
know what that is.
1107
00:49:08,154 --> 00:49:10,489
We should probably
hide the evidence.
1108
00:49:22,501 --> 00:49:25,880
[Christmas rock music
playing]
1109
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,340
[Laughter and chattering]
1110
00:49:28,340 --> 00:49:30,801
Hello!
1111
00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,303
Hello?
1112
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,138
Hello!
1113
00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:36,849
Excuse me, there's
a concerned citizen here
1114
00:49:36,849 --> 00:49:39,602
who needs help
from her civil servants.
1115
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:42,229
Yoo‐hoo!
Hey!
1116
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:44,190
[Chattering stops]
1117
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,358
Somebody better
pay attention to me.
1118
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:48,736
She's all yours, pal.
1119
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,866
Let me guess.
Domestic disturbance?
1120
00:49:53,866 --> 00:49:58,245
No, thank you very much.
1121
00:49:58,245 --> 00:50:01,248
I'm here to report
a kidnapping.
1122
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,924
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1123
00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,343
♪ in a one‐horse
open sleigh ♪
1124
00:50:12,343 --> 00:50:16,388
[Family chattering]
1125
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,807
Merry Christmas.
1126
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:21,268
Mother, isn't it
a little early?
1127
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,437
Early for who,
sugar britches?
1128
00:50:23,437 --> 00:50:25,356
I have to spend
another entire day
1129
00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:26,899
trapped with
you yahoos.
1130
00:50:26,899 --> 00:50:30,027
Mama's gonna need
a little help.
1131
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,112
Okay.
1132
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,448
Everybody, here's
the schedule for today.
1133
00:50:34,448 --> 00:50:35,824
Jake and Katie, you'll be
on kitchen duty with me.
1134
00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:37,576
Richard,
you're chopping firewood.
1135
00:50:37,576 --> 00:50:40,329
Mother‐‐
hmm?
1136
00:50:40,329 --> 00:50:42,248
Do whatever you want.
1137
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:45,626
Trudie, you and Nick
go outside and have some fun.
1138
00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,294
I've left some warm jackets
and stuff by the back door.
1139
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:50,548
Presents are at 4:00.
Dinner will be at 7:00.
1140
00:50:50,548 --> 00:50:52,216
That's it!
1141
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,718
You know, about last night,
1142
00:50:54,718 --> 00:50:57,471
I didn't mean to get
personal, and, you know‐‐
1143
00:51:01,392 --> 00:51:03,018
what?
1144
00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:05,729
Oh, my god.
Never mind.
1145
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:08,399
What?
1146
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:09,483
That's great.
1147
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:11,193
You're just
checking out my sister.
1148
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:12,903
I mean, why wouldn't you be?
Of course you are.
1149
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,488
She's gorgeous
and graceful and‐‐
1150
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:16,740
your sister is
very limber.
1151
00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:18,742
Ugh.
1152
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,494
You're jealous.
1153
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,162
I am not!
Are too.
1154
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:23,581
Am not!
Are too!
1155
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,623
Am not!
1156
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,418
Do rich kids
even play hockey?
1157
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:29,253
I played my fair share.
1158
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,629
Well, I've been playing
with my brother
1159
00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:31,880
since I could walk,
so let's go.
1160
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,134
[Soft rock music]
1161
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,927
[Laughing]
Yes!
1162
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,304
Oh.
1163
00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:39,638
I'm okay, I'm okay.
1164
00:51:42,641 --> 00:51:44,476
Unh!
Oh!
1165
00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:45,728
You sure you want
to do this?
1166
00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:47,479
Yeah, come on.
1167
00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:52,318
Unh! Unh!
1168
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:58,073
(David)
Sorry.
1169
00:51:58,073 --> 00:51:59,908
You know, I gotta
give it to you.
1170
00:51:59,908 --> 00:52:01,493
You're pretty scrappy.
1171
00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:02,911
Um, I think you've had
enough for now.
1172
00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:04,496
[Chuckling]
1173
00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:07,499
So what do you do
for fun?
1174
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:09,251
For fun?
1175
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,295
You know, what are you
interested in?
1176
00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:13,047
I paint.
Really?
1177
00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:14,882
What kind of paintings?
1178
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,675
Portraits mostly.
1179
00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,386
You know, like
post‐impressionist stuff.
1180
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:21,096
It's a focus on color
over line‐‐
1181
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:22,556
I know what
post‐impressionism is.
1182
00:52:22,556 --> 00:52:25,476
Like cezanne, or more
like Alice neel?
1183
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,270
I love Alice neel.
You know Alice neel?
1184
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:31,523
You shouldn't jump
to conclusions about people.
1185
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:33,484
So what do you besides
build cookie cutter
1186
00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:35,861
condominiums
for the masses?
1187
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,781
I didn't start out
to do that.
1188
00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:40,908
I actually studied
architecture.
1189
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:43,535
For a while there I thought
I was gonna go out on my own.
1190
00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:45,120
Why didn't you?
1191
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,039
Well, it's risky,
and there's no money in it
1192
00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:48,957
unless you're established.
1193
00:52:48,957 --> 00:52:50,167
Well, what about
your parents?
1194
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,627
Wouldn't they have
helped you get started?
1195
00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:52,795
Yeah, they would've
1196
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:54,338
if they had two nickels
to rub together.
1197
00:52:54,338 --> 00:52:57,466
They were both
school teachers.
1198
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,385
They died in a car accident
when I was nine.
1199
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:03,013
Oh...I'm so sorry.
1200
00:53:03,013 --> 00:53:05,391
But you said
you grew up well off.
1201
00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:07,226
No, you did.
1202
00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:08,519
I lived with my grandfather
1203
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:11,355
in a one‐bedroom apartment
until I was 18.
1204
00:53:11,355 --> 00:53:14,733
I worked my way through college
mowing lawns for the city.
1205
00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:16,568
That must've been tough.
1206
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:19,446
You know, it actually
helped me in certain ways.
1207
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:22,032
I learned at any early age
that we're all on our own.
1208
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:37,214
Would you go, please?
1209
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:38,757
Don't rush me.
1210
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:48,642
Oh, for the love of god!
1211
00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:50,644
Ha!
1212
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:54,314
Ha.
1213
00:53:54,314 --> 00:53:56,442
Aw, that's too bad.
1214
00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:58,944
Making a move like that
must be killing you.
1215
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:00,738
Hey!
1216
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:03,073
Why do you keep
hitting yourself?
[Giggling]
1217
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:04,408
Seriously, what are
you doing?
1218
00:54:04,408 --> 00:54:06,118
Trudie, I'm starting
to worry about you now.
1219
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:07,453
Oh, my gosh, you have
to stop that right now.
1220
00:54:07,453 --> 00:54:08,912
Stop!
1221
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:10,497
Give it back.
I didn't mean to do that.
1222
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:11,832
But you did it.
It's done.
1223
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:13,000
It was a mistake.
1224
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,251
You can't take
something back
1225
00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:17,379
once it's
already done.
1226
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:19,965
Even if you realize
right away
1227
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:22,593
it was wrong
and...You're sorry?
1228
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:29,558
Fine.
1229
00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:31,435
But know
that you're a cheater.
1230
00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:37,107
Such a cheater.
1231
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,280
I'm gonna go get
some milk for these.
1232
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:48,202
It's covered in stones‐‐
1233
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,245
oh, oh!
1234
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,167
Oh, well, we're not into
public displays of affection.
1235
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:56,251
Right.
1236
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,753
Come on, don't be
such a prude.
1237
00:54:57,753 --> 00:54:59,046
Yeah, sorry.
You have no choice.
1238
00:54:59,046 --> 00:55:00,631
It's mistletoe.
1239
00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:09,640
[Humming wedding march]
1240
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,517
Mom!
1241
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,478
I'll get the milk.
1242
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:18,273
Oh, this is it.
The scene of the crime.
1243
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:21,568
Aren't you gonna
draw your guns?
1244
00:55:21,568 --> 00:55:23,654
Merry Christmas!
1245
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:25,239
Welcome to taj's
diner deluxe.
1246
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,700
We have a delicious
ho‐ho hot dog special today.
1247
00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,369
We're not here to eat.
1248
00:55:30,369 --> 00:55:31,995
We're here
because my boyfriend
1249
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:35,082
was kidnapped by one
of your waitresses yesterday.
1250
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:37,376
Yeah, female, 5'2",
1251
00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:39,419
crazy hair, crazy eyes.
1252
00:55:39,419 --> 00:55:42,005
You know anyone who fits
that description?
1253
00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:43,340
Apparently he was taken
at gunpoint.
1254
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,968
Do you know where
she may have gotten a gun?
1255
00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,303
Oh, uh, no, no.
1256
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:50,180
No, I don't know‐‐
I don't know anything.
1257
00:55:57,187 --> 00:56:00,107
Mom, isn't it time
for presents?
1258
00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:01,149
Oh, is it?
1259
00:56:01,149 --> 00:56:02,818
It's 4:00 p. M.
Hmm.
1260
00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:04,236
What are you doing?
1261
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:05,946
Oh, I'm folding
your father's jockey shorts.
1262
00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:08,699
Sometimes I have dreams
1263
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,493
that hundreds of pairs
of underwear envelope me.
1264
00:56:11,493 --> 00:56:14,496
Do you ever have
dreams like that?
1265
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,665
No.
Mom, are you okay?
1266
00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:20,377
Do you know that
your father's the only man
1267
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,796
I have ever slept with?
1268
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,299
Have you slept
with more than one man?
1269
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:27,843
[Exhales]
No.
1270
00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:29,261
Of course you have.
1271
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:30,470
It's the way
of the modern world.
1272
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:33,098
You boink a whole lot
of different people.
1273
00:56:33,098 --> 00:56:37,477
You don't just pick one
and hope for the best.
1274
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:40,522
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's time for presents.
1275
00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:41,523
Come on.
1276
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:46,278
Oh, honey, you're right.
1277
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:48,989
Yes, okay,
let's go, go, go.
1278
00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:51,992
[Clock ticking]
1279
00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:18,810
Nick, time for presents!
1280
00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:22,272
Grandma.
Jake.
1281
00:57:22,272 --> 00:57:23,815
Thank you.
1282
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:26,360
Have you noticed anything
strange about mom?
1283
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,320
Like more than usual?
1284
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:29,821
Yeah, I just had a weird
conversation with her,
1285
00:57:29,821 --> 00:57:33,367
and I think she might not
be so happy with dad.
1286
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,661
What?
That's crazy.
1287
00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:36,787
She used the word "boink."
1288
00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,622
Ew.
Yeah.
1289
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:44,294
Nick, for you.
Trudie, for you.
1290
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,296
Can I?
1291
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:48,256
Mm‐hmm.
Nick's gonna‐‐
1292
00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:50,092
(Richard)
It's a back scrubber!
1293
00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:52,260
(Katherine)
Exfoliation is
the key to good skin.
1294
00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:53,929
Yeah, cool.
1295
00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:55,180
(Trudie)
Wow, good job, mom.
1296
00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:57,099
Thank you.
1297
00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:04,606
It just lights up your face.
1298
00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:05,774
Pink.
1299
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,984
Smile!
[Christmas rock music]
1300
00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:08,985
Oh, beautiful.
1301
00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:11,405
All right.
1302
00:58:11,405 --> 00:58:12,322
(Richard)
Gotta look the part, son.
1303
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:13,990
Greed is good.
1304
00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:15,701
Wow.
1305
00:58:15,701 --> 00:58:17,452
(Katherine)
Your dad found that.
1306
00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:19,496
It lists every law firm
in america.
1307
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,664
Okay.
1308
00:58:20,664 --> 00:58:22,416
(Katherine)
Well, you're always saying
1309
00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:23,500
you don't have enough
underwear.
1310
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,420
Oh, my gosh.
This is really heavy.
1311
00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:29,840
Oh, great
for tightening screws.
1312
00:58:33,427 --> 00:58:34,636
Eww...
1313
00:58:34,636 --> 00:58:37,055
(Katie)
I picked that out.
1314
00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:40,350
Oh, trudie, one more gift.
It's for you.
1315
00:58:52,446 --> 00:58:54,531
Well, we just thought that‐‐
1316
00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,783
yeah.
1317
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,034
(Richard)
Hey, look, trudie,
1318
00:58:58,034 --> 00:58:59,453
I don't know what
happened the other day
1319
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:01,496
with Mr. Portnoy, but...
1320
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:04,082
[Exhales]
I think it's time to get
your head out of the clouds.
1321
00:59:04,082 --> 00:59:05,876
What do you mean?
1322
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,711
You need to grow up
and get focused
1323
00:59:07,711 --> 00:59:10,088
on a legitimate career.
1324
00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:11,465
You're unsettled.
You're unfocused.
1325
00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:13,175
You need to find something
to do really well.
1326
00:59:13,175 --> 00:59:16,094
But I have, I do.
It's painting.
1327
00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:17,304
I mean, it's the only thing
I care about.
1328
00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:19,264
It's the only thing
that makes me feel like me.
1329
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,767
That has nothing to do
with what I'm talking about
1330
00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:23,268
right now.
1331
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:25,145
You can paint,
or draw, or color
1332
00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:26,354
in your spare time.
1333
00:59:26,354 --> 00:59:27,981
I am talking about
your life here.
1334
00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:29,608
So am I!
1335
00:59:29,608 --> 00:59:31,526
Don't you want to do
something with your life?
1336
00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:33,153
Yes, but‐‐
1337
00:59:33,153 --> 00:59:34,738
honey, we just‐‐we were
just trying to help.
1338
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:45,165
Um, Mr. Chandler,
1339
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:47,876
if you don't mind me
saying, sir,
1340
00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:50,462
I've seen trudie's painting.
1341
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:51,755
And, well,
1342
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:55,383
they're raw
and expressive.
1343
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:59,679
Complex and, well,
a little strange.
1344
00:59:59,679 --> 01:00:03,475
But...really beautiful.
1345
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:10,190
And...
1346
01:00:10,190 --> 01:00:11,817
I have one more
gift for her.
1347
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,408
Gertrude Chandler...
1348
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,409
Oh!
1349
01:00:21,409 --> 01:00:22,869
Oh!
1350
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:24,204
Will you marry me?
1351
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:36,466
Yes.
1352
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,260
Oh, my!
1353
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:40,720
Oh, my!
1354
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,014
Oh, my gosh!
1355
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:45,350
This is
the best Christmas present
1356
01:00:45,350 --> 01:00:47,853
you could ever give me!
1357
01:00:47,853 --> 01:00:50,480
I'm so excited!
1358
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,315
Oh, I can't wait to start
planning the wedding!
1359
01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:54,109
Son.
1360
01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:56,278
Congratulations.
1361
01:00:56,278 --> 01:00:58,947
Okay, um, next on the agenda
is dinner in three hours.
1362
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:01,283
So, um...
[Laughter]
1363
01:01:01,283 --> 01:01:02,492
I'm sorry.
1364
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:03,994
Everybody just get changed
and do whatever.
1365
01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:08,123
And we'll meet back
in the dinning room at 7:00.
1366
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:10,876
That's it!
1367
01:01:17,883 --> 01:01:21,928
I don't‐‐
that was...Something.
1368
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:23,430
Well, you know,
I figured
1369
01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:25,307
we may as well give them
all the bells and whistles.
1370
01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:27,350
At least for a couple
more hours, right?
1371
01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:28,518
Thank you.
1372
01:01:31,938 --> 01:01:33,815
I assume you made up
the part about the paintings.
1373
01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:35,692
I saw your album.
1374
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,652
It was sticking out
of your purse.
1375
01:01:37,652 --> 01:01:40,363
Oh, you were looking
in my bag?
1376
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:42,115
Well, the keys
aren't there.
1377
01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:45,994
No, it was an accident.
Relax.
1378
01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,204
So do you just carry
an engagement ring
1379
01:01:48,204 --> 01:01:49,331
in your pocket
all the time?
1380
01:01:49,331 --> 01:01:50,707
Yeah.
1381
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:54,419
Right.
1382
01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:57,756
Well, look, I just
want to say I'm sorry
1383
01:01:57,756 --> 01:02:00,467
about everything.
1384
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:03,303
To tell you the truth,
1385
01:02:03,303 --> 01:02:06,431
it hasn't been that bad.
1386
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:08,224
Well, if you can just
hang in there
1387
01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:09,309
through Christmas dinner,
I promise I'll take you
1388
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:12,312
wherever you want
to go tomorrow.
1389
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:13,939
Heh!
1390
01:02:19,945 --> 01:02:22,447
Hey, mom, can I help you
with anything?
1391
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,615
Oh, yeah.
1392
01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:25,033
You can bundle up
and take out the garbage.
1393
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,618
Thank you very much,
honey.
1394
01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:33,792
Hey.
1395
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:35,710
What are you doing
out here?
1396
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:37,629
I'm just enjoying
a little down time.
1397
01:02:37,629 --> 01:02:40,590
Hmm, well...
1398
01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:42,092
[Cans and glass rattle]
1399
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:44,386
That sounds good
to me.
1400
01:02:44,386 --> 01:02:47,389
Hey.
Want one?
1401
01:02:47,389 --> 01:02:51,393
Yeah.
1402
01:02:51,393 --> 01:02:54,062
So you're engaged.
1403
01:02:54,062 --> 01:02:56,606
Man.
1404
01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:57,691
I'm so happy for you,
trud.
1405
01:02:57,691 --> 01:02:58,733
Thank you.
1406
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:03,738
You know‐‐
1407
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:04,864
I really hope that happens
for me someday.
1408
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,825
What do you mean?
It has happened for you.
1409
01:03:06,825 --> 01:03:07,951
Jen's great.
1410
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:09,828
Yeah, about that.
1411
01:03:09,828 --> 01:03:11,454
Um...
1412
01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:14,416
Jen and I broke up
like six months ago.
1413
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:15,500
Shut up.
1414
01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:18,461
And I've started seeing
someone else.
1415
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,546
Shut up!
1416
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:23,633
And his name is Ryan.
1417
01:03:23,633 --> 01:03:27,053
Oh, my gosh.
1418
01:03:27,053 --> 01:03:30,807
Well, you know...
1419
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,642
I think maybe I knew.
1420
01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:34,644
Yeah, I knew.
1421
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,771
What?
You didn't know.
1422
01:03:36,771 --> 01:03:38,314
Come on,
I didn't even know.
1423
01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:40,942
I mean, I guess
I kind of knew, but‐‐
1424
01:03:40,942 --> 01:03:42,485
well, does anyone else know?
1425
01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:45,196
[Exhales]
1426
01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,032
I thought I'd tell
everyone at dinner.
1427
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:50,660
Are you out of your mind?
1428
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,328
[Laughter]
1429
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:10,972
Dolores!
1430
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:20,231
What are you doing?
1431
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:22,400
I'm going to back
to the city
1432
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,028
to get a decent steak
and a cognac.
1433
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:26,488
You can't drive.
Give me the keys.
1434
01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,532
You want to come along
for the ride, rosebud?
1435
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:33,453
Come on, let's blow this
rinky dink log cabin.
1436
01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:36,081
[Engine starts]
Dolores!
1437
01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:38,249
[Screaming]
1438
01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:44,631
[Loud crash]
1439
01:04:46,758 --> 01:04:48,635
Oh, my god.
1440
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:51,346
Grams?
1441
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:54,891
Oh, my gosh.
Are you okay, grandma?
1442
01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:57,977
Don't touch me
and don't call me that.
1443
01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,437
Are you all right?
1444
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:01,231
Yeah.
1445
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:03,817
What happened to "I'm not
trying to escape anymore?"
1446
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,986
I was just trying to make sure
she didn't hurt herself.
1447
01:05:06,986 --> 01:05:09,155
Well, I'm glad you're okay.
1448
01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:13,952
[Rock music
playing in background]
1449
01:05:13,952 --> 01:05:16,496
I swear to god,
Mary had better be giving birth
1450
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,581
to baby Jesus
outside the‐‐
1451
01:05:18,581 --> 01:05:21,376
oh, just as good.
Police officers‐‐
1452
01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:23,294
(Steve)
Come on, Mrs. Claus.
1453
01:05:23,294 --> 01:05:24,963
It's time for stevie‐wevie
to open another present.
1454
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:28,925
Cut it out, Steve!
What can I do for you?
1455
01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:32,345
The owner said that
you were her best friend.
1456
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:34,264
I don't know
where they went.
1457
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:35,473
She just took off.
1458
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:37,433
You know, when we catch her,
1459
01:05:37,433 --> 01:05:38,476
you'll be put away too
1460
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,437
for accessory
to kidnapping,
1461
01:05:41,437 --> 01:05:42,939
obstructing justice.
1462
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:46,276
It's‐‐
it's not her fault.
1463
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:47,569
It's men.
1464
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:53,950
They drive women crazy.
1465
01:06:07,422 --> 01:06:10,675
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
1466
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:13,303
I, um, just...
1467
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:16,431
Needed the, uh, the...
1468
01:06:16,431 --> 01:06:18,892
Toothpaste.
1469
01:06:20,310 --> 01:06:21,811
Uh...
1470
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,565
Here you go.
1471
01:06:25,565 --> 01:06:27,650
Do you‐‐do you need
to take a shower?
1472
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,570
No, I'll wait till
you're dry.
1473
01:06:30,570 --> 01:06:33,323
Dressed.
Done.
1474
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:37,869
Whew!
Okay.
1475
01:06:39,704 --> 01:06:42,790
Well, I should
probably go now.
1476
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:46,502
Probably.
1477
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:56,346
[Exhales]
1478
01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:01,476
[Exhales]
1479
01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:16,032
[Knock on door]
1480
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,330
I didn't, uh, mean
to scare you off back there.
1481
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,499
You didn't scare me off.
1482
01:07:24,499 --> 01:07:27,168
You look great.
1483
01:07:29,587 --> 01:07:30,880
So do you.
1484
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:33,549
Come on, I want
to show you something.
1485
01:07:37,595 --> 01:07:39,597
I'm not giving you
a rematch right now.
1486
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:42,642
Hold on
just one second.
1487
01:07:42,642 --> 01:07:43,851
Huh?
1488
01:07:45,645 --> 01:07:47,355
Okay, put these on, please.
1489
01:07:47,355 --> 01:07:48,731
It's almost dinnertime,
1490
01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:49,857
and I'm in a dress,
you moron.
1491
01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,859
Please shut up.
Shut up?
1492
01:07:51,859 --> 01:07:53,695
Just put these on.
1493
01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:55,113
Fine.
1494
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:07,709
Whoa.
1495
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:20,138
Oh, my gosh.
1496
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:23,266
Oh, I can't believe
you did all this.
1497
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:29,564
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
1498
01:08:29,564 --> 01:08:32,525
You're welcome.
1499
01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,652
But you owe me
something in return.
1500
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:35,820
What?
1501
01:08:35,820 --> 01:08:37,447
A show.
1502
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:39,407
No way.
Come on.
1503
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:41,409
I want to see
this infamous routine.
1504
01:08:41,409 --> 01:08:43,494
Really?
1505
01:08:43,494 --> 01:08:45,163
Okay, but if you laugh...
1506
01:08:47,749 --> 01:08:50,335
[Heartfelt music]
1507
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:58,343
♪ ♪
1508
01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:30,833
[O Tannenbaum
playing in background]
1509
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:32,293
Thank you.
1510
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:34,587
[Family chattering]
1511
01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:37,465
Warm bread.
1512
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:38,758
Your tie's crooked.
1513
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:39,759
You tied it.
1514
01:09:39,759 --> 01:09:41,302
It's still crooked.
1515
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:46,349
Oh!
1516
01:09:50,853 --> 01:09:52,522
Mom?
Hmm?
1517
01:09:52,522 --> 01:09:54,065
Aren't you gonna make
your annual toast?
1518
01:09:56,526 --> 01:09:58,486
Oh, I'm hungry.
Let's just eat.
1519
01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:04,200
Um, excuse me.
1520
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,369
I, uh,
I have something
1521
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,079
I'd like to share
with everyone.
1522
01:10:08,079 --> 01:10:10,581
Actually...
1523
01:10:10,581 --> 01:10:13,000
I have something
I'd like to say first.
1524
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,836
It's about school.
1525
01:10:14,836 --> 01:10:16,087
Oh.
1526
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,214
I'm not going
to law school.
1527
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:21,384
What did you say?
1528
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:24,679
It's just not for me.
1529
01:10:24,679 --> 01:10:26,431
I dropped out
last semester.
1530
01:10:26,431 --> 01:10:27,765
Last semester?
1531
01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:30,309
Well, what have
you been doing
1532
01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:32,270
with all the tuition
that I've been sending?
1533
01:10:32,270 --> 01:10:34,480
I used it
as a down payment.
1534
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,858
Down payment.
On what?
1535
01:10:36,858 --> 01:10:39,485
On a pilates studio
in California.
1536
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:41,028
Pilates?
1537
01:10:41,028 --> 01:10:43,030
I don't know what that is.
1538
01:10:43,030 --> 01:10:44,323
Somebody translate that.
1539
01:10:44,323 --> 01:10:48,411
Dad, it's great.
1540
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,329
It's a type of exercise
mixing ballet techniques
1541
01:10:50,329 --> 01:10:51,873
with yoga, used to stretch
and lengthen the muscles.
1542
01:10:51,873 --> 01:10:55,251
Moving to the land
of fruits and nuts.
1543
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:56,461
Gonna lay around all day
and stretch.
1544
01:10:56,461 --> 01:10:58,963
[Katherine laughing]
1545
01:10:58,963 --> 01:11:02,425
I think it's very creative.
1546
01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:03,593
Kudos, Katie.
1547
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,386
Thanks, mom.
1548
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,388
What‐‐what are
you talking about?
1549
01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:09,682
Our daughter's just made
a fool out of US.
1550
01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:12,685
Yeah, you did put one over
on US, didn't you?
1551
01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:14,437
[Richard laughing
nervously]
1552
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,314
No, you're not dropping
out of school.
1553
01:11:16,314 --> 01:11:17,899
No, that's not
what's happening.
1554
01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,150
I'm gonna tell you
what's gonna happen.
1555
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:20,359
You're gonna get
the money back.
1556
01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:22,904
And you're gonna re‐enroll.
1557
01:11:22,904 --> 01:11:25,364
Oh, lighten up, dick.
1558
01:11:34,791 --> 01:11:36,250
Um, ahem.
1559
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:40,671
Everyone, I, uh, I want
to say something too.
1560
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:44,050
I'm gay.
1561
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,551
[Spitting]
1562
01:11:45,551 --> 01:11:47,303
[Laughter]
1563
01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:48,721
Oh, honey, I know!
1564
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,446
For god's sake, Katherine,
what is wrong with you?!
1565
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:07,448
What's wrong with me?
1566
01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:08,741
Huh?
Let me think.
1567
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:11,953
Um, I hate the way you moan
when you chew your food.
1568
01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:13,579
What are
you talking about?
1569
01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:16,332
[Imitating Richard moaning]
1570
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:17,375
It's disgusting!
1571
01:12:17,375 --> 01:12:18,417
It makes me want
to throw up.
1572
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,795
And also I hate
that we never
1573
01:12:20,795 --> 01:12:23,297
talk about
anything important!
1574
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:27,176
Maybe that's because we all
live in your world, Katherine.
1575
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,345
A world where nobody can say
anything honest
1576
01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:32,390
because it might be
upsetting!
1577
01:12:32,390 --> 01:12:35,393
You are the puppet master
and I am your little clown!
1578
01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:36,602
Boo!
1579
01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,063
Stop it!
God, you two!
1580
01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:40,565
What are you guys doing?
1581
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:42,275
You think I'm controlling?
1582
01:12:42,275 --> 01:12:44,694
You are the ass who is
forcing your children
1583
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:46,529
to become mini versions
of yourself!
1584
01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,488
This isn't my world.
1585
01:12:47,488 --> 01:12:49,031
Because if this was my world,
1586
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:50,658
I wouldn't have to picture
Clint Eastwood
1587
01:12:50,658 --> 01:12:53,494
just to get through
our annual birthday sex!
1588
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,288
Oh!
1589
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:11,804
Aren't you glad
you're gay?
1590
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,474
Everybody freeze!
1591
01:13:15,474 --> 01:13:17,393
[Family shouting]
1592
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,312
Freeze!
Calm down, everybody.
1593
01:13:19,312 --> 01:13:20,897
Just relax.
1594
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:22,315
Wait.
What is going on?
1595
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,567
Reason to believe that woman
is guilty of kidnapping.
1596
01:13:24,567 --> 01:13:25,943
That can't be.
That's absurd.
1597
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:28,154
Kidnapping?
Who?
1598
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:29,488
David Martin.
1599
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:34,201
Who's David Martin?
1600
01:13:34,201 --> 01:13:37,663
No, that's
her boyfriend, Nick.
1601
01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:41,375
No, mom.
It's not.
1602
01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:46,797
I'm not her boyfriend.
1603
01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,385
(Jake)
This is getting weird.
1604
01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:54,597
I don't know
who brought home the bacon,
1605
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,265
but I'm gonna
fry it up in a pan!
1606
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,809
Mother, no!
1607
01:13:58,809 --> 01:14:00,061
Somebody has to protect
this family,
1608
01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:01,604
and it looks as though
it's got to be me!
1609
01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:02,980
Ma'am, put the gun down.
1610
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,523
She having a civil war
flashback?
1611
01:14:04,523 --> 01:14:06,359
She's just had a little
too much eggnog.
1612
01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:08,319
Um, she's an actress.
1613
01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:10,404
And the gun is probably
just a prop.
1614
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:13,115
You take the big one.
1615
01:14:13,115 --> 01:14:14,784
Dolores.
1616
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:19,413
Oh.
1617
01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:21,332
Oh...
1618
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:27,296
I‐i was on Broadway once.
1619
01:14:29,256 --> 01:14:32,426
I know.
[Sobbing]
1620
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:39,558
Merry Christmas.
1621
01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:51,028
[Blues‐rock music
playing]
1622
01:14:51,028 --> 01:14:54,532
♪ ♪
1623
01:14:54,532 --> 01:14:57,868
♪ you were the present ♪
1624
01:14:57,868 --> 01:15:02,289
♪ under my tree... ♪
1625
01:15:02,289 --> 01:15:04,250
Mom‐‐
1626
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:06,711
kidnapping?
1627
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,254
Kidnapping?!
1628
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:09,338
Mom, look at me.
1629
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:12,299
Where did I go wrong?
1630
01:15:12,299 --> 01:15:13,718
Was I not good mother?
1631
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,011
Yeah, of course you were.
1632
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:16,095
This is not your fault.
1633
01:15:16,095 --> 01:15:18,264
No, we won't talk
about it.
1634
01:15:18,264 --> 01:15:19,640
Dad‐‐
1635
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:22,059
not now, trudie.
1636
01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:28,274
Poor schmuck didn't
press charges.
1637
01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:31,277
[Door buzzer]
1638
01:15:31,277 --> 01:15:32,528
You're free to go.
1639
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:33,946
(Dolores)
Thank god.
1640
01:15:40,286 --> 01:15:41,704
(Katie)
Bye.
1641
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:50,755
Uh, not you, grambo.
1642
01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:53,591
Why, officer!
1643
01:15:53,591 --> 01:15:56,260
What did you have in mind?
1644
01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:58,888
(Female officer)
One change purse.
1645
01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:00,723
One can opener/keychain.
1646
01:16:00,723 --> 01:16:03,267
Comes in handier
than you think.
1647
01:16:03,267 --> 01:16:07,688
One‐‐holy crap!
Look at that rock.
1648
01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,149
Girl, you hold on
to that man.
1649
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:15,821
Yeah.
1650
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:19,617
♪ One day I'll walk in ♪
1651
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:23,329
♪ hand in hand ♪
1652
01:16:23,329 --> 01:16:27,458
♪ in the sun and ♪
1653
01:16:27,458 --> 01:16:33,547
♪ you and I are talking ♪
1654
01:16:33,547 --> 01:16:36,342
♪ realize ♪
1655
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:42,890
♪ we've begun... ♪
1656
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:44,308
Hi.
1657
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:45,768
Hey.
1658
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:50,397
Just wanted to say thanks
for not pressing charges.
1659
01:16:50,397 --> 01:16:54,151
I can't say I ever imagined
saying that in a sentence.
1660
01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:57,196
Heh.
Is‐‐is everyone okay?
1661
01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:58,489
Yeah, they're fine.
1662
01:16:58,489 --> 01:17:01,450
They're not too happy
with me right now.
1663
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:04,829
I really did it this time.
1664
01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:06,497
I wanted to give this
back to you.
1665
01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:09,166
Thanks.
1666
01:17:09,166 --> 01:17:11,418
Listen...
1667
01:17:11,418 --> 01:17:15,256
This whole situation
is sort of confusing.
1668
01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:16,298
But I wanted to say‐‐
1669
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,425
David, let's get
out of here, honey.
1670
01:17:18,425 --> 01:17:20,928
Uh, give me
one minute, okay?
1671
01:17:20,928 --> 01:17:22,930
Who's this?
1672
01:17:22,930 --> 01:17:26,142
Is this her?
1673
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:27,309
You have some nerve.
1674
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,103
Look, I wanted to apologize
1675
01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:30,688
again to both of you‐‐
save it.
1676
01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:32,106
You and your band
of hooligans
1677
01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:34,233
would still be in jail
if it were up to me.
1678
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:36,569
Let's go.
1679
01:17:39,947 --> 01:17:41,448
I, uh‐‐
1680
01:17:41,448 --> 01:17:42,700
David.
1681
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:48,831
Take care of yourself.
1682
01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,709
Yeah, you too.
1683
01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:04,430
♪ I am not crazy ♪
1684
01:18:04,430 --> 01:18:06,974
♪ and I ♪
1685
01:18:06,974 --> 01:18:10,936
♪ I know
what we have known... ♪
1686
01:18:15,232 --> 01:18:18,903
Sure you don't want
your old job back?
1687
01:18:18,903 --> 01:18:20,988
You want lunch?
1688
01:18:20,988 --> 01:18:22,031
Sure.
1689
01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:25,034
Here.
1690
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:26,243
What about taj?
1691
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:27,453
Oh, please.
1692
01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:29,580
You know, he's a softy
under all that bluster.
1693
01:18:29,580 --> 01:18:31,540
Besides, we've reached
a new stage
1694
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:32,541
in our relationship.
1695
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,001
Oh, what's that?
Partners.
1696
01:18:34,001 --> 01:18:35,252
That's great!
1697
01:18:35,252 --> 01:18:37,588
Thank you, yeah.
1698
01:18:37,588 --> 01:18:40,257
So how's the real job
search going?
1699
01:18:40,257 --> 01:18:41,759
Not so great.
1700
01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:43,552
Apparently I have
no real skills.
1701
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,012
Mm‐hmm.
1702
01:18:45,012 --> 01:18:47,473
I don't know.
My parents are right.
1703
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,642
I have to be realistic.
1704
01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,143
I can't just wish
for something
1705
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:52,394
that's never gonna happen.
1706
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:55,356
There is no perfect job,
perfect family...
1707
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:56,482
Perfect guy.
1708
01:18:56,482 --> 01:18:58,025
So you haven't
heard from him then?
1709
01:18:58,025 --> 01:18:59,526
No.
1710
01:18:59,526 --> 01:19:01,111
See, this is what
I'm talking about.
1711
01:19:01,111 --> 01:19:02,529
I can't believe I actually
thought I had feelings
1712
01:19:02,529 --> 01:19:04,406
for some guy I kidnapped.
1713
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:06,492
I mean, what did I think
was gonna happen?
1714
01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:14,250
[Gasps]
1715
01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:29,890
I like
the nuptial script.
1716
01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:32,351
All right, done.
1717
01:19:32,351 --> 01:19:35,354
Where is Maria
with the next dress?
1718
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:37,982
Maria, we have
three more dresses to go!
1719
01:19:37,982 --> 01:19:39,566
Where are you?
1720
01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:53,372
Do you like
that font?
1721
01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,959
David!
1722
01:19:56,959 --> 01:19:58,460
The font.
1723
01:19:58,460 --> 01:20:00,754
Uh, ahem.
1724
01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:02,172
I'm sorry.
1725
01:20:02,172 --> 01:20:04,341
I‐i need some air.
1726
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:06,176
Oh.
1727
01:20:16,353 --> 01:20:18,314
Hey.
1728
01:20:18,314 --> 01:20:20,149
Hey.
1729
01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:22,359
It can be a bit
overwhelming in there.
1730
01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:23,485
You don't say.
1731
01:20:23,485 --> 01:20:24,903
(Jessica)
You all right?
1732
01:20:24,903 --> 01:20:27,573
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
1733
01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:29,783
Well, we need you inside.
1734
01:20:29,783 --> 01:20:31,368
Okay.
1735
01:20:35,456 --> 01:20:38,459
Uh, Jess, um...
1736
01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,044
Do you, uh...
1737
01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:42,254
Ever have
any doubts about US?
1738
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:44,340
What?
1739
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:46,884
Well, it's just that
1740
01:20:46,884 --> 01:20:49,345
you could be
with any number of guys.
1741
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:51,388
Why me?
1742
01:20:51,388 --> 01:20:54,391
Because we make sense.
1743
01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:57,394
And we're gonna lead a life
that most people dream of.
1744
01:20:57,394 --> 01:20:58,729
All right, you and I
1745
01:20:58,729 --> 01:21:00,522
are gonna have
a fairy tale wedding
1746
01:21:00,522 --> 01:21:02,941
and a fairy tale life.
1747
01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:10,074
(Mrs. Barber)
Maria!
1748
01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:12,659
I hate my life.
1749
01:21:36,850 --> 01:21:40,479
[Cell phone rings]
1750
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:41,772
Hello.
1751
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:43,399
Trud, hey, it's me.
1752
01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:44,650
Hey.
1753
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:45,734
How's it going?
1754
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:46,735
Oh, I've been better.
1755
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,862
Did you talk
to mom and dad yet?
1756
01:21:48,862 --> 01:21:51,448
No, I've been
avoiding them.
1757
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:53,409
Trud, you should call them.
1758
01:21:53,409 --> 01:21:55,577
Oh, my god, Jake.
1759
01:21:55,577 --> 01:21:57,704
I'm just saying,
you know,
1760
01:21:57,704 --> 01:21:59,289
be the bigger person‐‐
1761
01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:00,541
no, no, no.
1762
01:22:00,541 --> 01:22:02,376
I've been accepted into a show
at gallery 717.
1763
01:22:02,376 --> 01:22:03,419
Wow, that's great.
1764
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:04,878
It's a new artist exhibit.
1765
01:22:04,878 --> 01:22:05,921
They want a piece from me.
1766
01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,132
Trud, that's fantastic.
1767
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:09,591
When is it?
1768
01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:11,468
A week from Saturday.
Will you come with me, please?
1769
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:13,095
Yes, of course I will.
1770
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:15,431
Are you gonna tell
mom and dad?
1771
01:22:15,431 --> 01:22:17,641
No, no, I don't want
to fight with them.
1772
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,977
I just want this to be
my night, you know?
1773
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:38,328
[Exhales]
1774
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:46,253
(Jake)
Trud?
1775
01:22:46,253 --> 01:22:48,130
I'm so happy you're here.
1776
01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:49,673
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
1777
01:22:49,673 --> 01:22:51,675
So, um, this is Ryan.
1778
01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:53,343
Hi.
1779
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:55,304
Jake, you didn't do
her justice.
1780
01:22:55,304 --> 01:22:57,222
It's so nice
to finally meet you.
1781
01:22:57,222 --> 01:22:58,682
So listen,
I'm a little nervous.
1782
01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:00,350
I don't know what people
are saying about the piece,
1783
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:01,477
so go over
and eavesdrop for me.
1784
01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:03,562
Okay, okay.
1785
01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:06,398
But listen, um...
There is one other thing.
1786
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:07,441
What?
1787
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:08,734
Now don't freak out,
1788
01:23:08,734 --> 01:23:11,862
but I, uh, I brought
a few more people with me.
1789
01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:21,997
I told you I didn't
want them here.
1790
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:24,458
I don't have time
to do this tonight, okay?
1791
01:23:24,458 --> 01:23:25,375
I won't do this.
1792
01:23:25,375 --> 01:23:26,752
Just for one night
1793
01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,253
I don't want to feel
like the black sheep,
1794
01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:29,421
the weird one,
the wrong one, okay?
1795
01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:32,132
Okay.
We hear you.
1796
01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:33,342
What?
1797
01:23:33,342 --> 01:23:35,260
Your father and I
have found
1798
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,429
that keeping open lines
of honest communication
1799
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:39,389
is the only way to restore
a healthy relationship.
1800
01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:41,225
What?
1801
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,518
They've been in therapy.
1802
01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:46,688
It really is working.
1803
01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:50,359
So...what else, honey?
Just let it out.
1804
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:52,069
I'm tired of trying
1805
01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:54,363
to live up to your ideals,
you know?
1806
01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:56,114
And I won't live my life
to please you.
1807
01:23:56,114 --> 01:23:58,075
I mean, sometimes I feel like
you have no idea who I am.
1808
01:23:58,075 --> 01:23:59,201
Mm‐hmm.
1809
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:00,702
I'm a slob.
1810
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:02,746
I mean, sometimes if I leave
a dish in the sink too long
1811
01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:03,997
I just throw it away
1812
01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:05,040
instead of washing it.
1813
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:06,250
And, mom, I hate pink.
I hate it.
1814
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,543
And I don't want a job
1815
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,919
in computer sales, dad.
1816
01:24:08,919 --> 01:24:10,837
You know, I'm an artist.
That's who I am.
1817
01:24:10,837 --> 01:24:12,631
And I love you guys,
1818
01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:14,383
but if you make me choose
between me and you,
1819
01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:15,634
I choose me.
1820
01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:18,720
Okay!
1821
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,931
Okay?
1822
01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:23,725
Yes, okay.
1823
01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:25,477
We hear you.
1824
01:24:25,477 --> 01:24:26,645
Okay.
1825
01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:32,109
You know, we worry
about you, kiddo.
1826
01:24:32,109 --> 01:24:33,110
We don't want you
to get hurt.
1827
01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:34,403
We want you
to be safe.
1828
01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:35,529
I mean, if I could,
I'd have you live
1829
01:24:35,529 --> 01:24:36,863
inside of
a plastic bubble.
1830
01:24:36,863 --> 01:24:38,365
But I was told that's
a little too impractical.
1831
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:40,075
And we never meant
to make you feel
1832
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:43,537
weird or wrong.
1833
01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:44,830
We love you.
1834
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:50,377
And whatever you want,
that's what we want for you.
1835
01:24:57,342 --> 01:24:58,510
Thanks, dad.
1836
01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:00,470
Oh, come here.
1837
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:03,765
I love you so much.
1838
01:25:03,765 --> 01:25:04,808
I love you too, mom.
1839
01:25:07,728 --> 01:25:09,479
Little sis.
1840
01:25:16,361 --> 01:25:18,780
I love your paintings.
I love‐‐
1841
01:25:18,780 --> 01:25:21,658
the compositions
are amazing.
1842
01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:25,579
[Patrons chattering]
1843
01:25:25,579 --> 01:25:28,040
I'll be back,
I'll be back.
1844
01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:29,249
It's great
to meet you.
1845
01:25:33,045 --> 01:25:35,380
You okay, sweetheart?
1846
01:25:35,380 --> 01:25:37,007
Someone bought it.
1847
01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:41,428
I know.
It's wonderful.
1848
01:25:41,428 --> 01:25:42,929
What's the matter?
1849
01:25:42,929 --> 01:25:45,974
Just feels different
than I thought it would.
1850
01:25:45,974 --> 01:25:47,476
Oh, how?
1851
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,519
I don't know,
it's just‐‐
1852
01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:51,313
Nick?
1853
01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:54,399
No, not Nick.
Well, maybe.
1854
01:25:54,399 --> 01:25:55,859
Well, no, I mean,
it's not Nick, it's David.
1855
01:25:55,859 --> 01:25:58,570
It's stupid is what it is.
1856
01:25:58,570 --> 01:25:59,988
It is not stupid.
1857
01:26:04,201 --> 01:26:06,244
If there's
one thing I know,
1858
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:08,455
it's the corrosive
nature of silence
1859
01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:09,873
leads to regret.
1860
01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:12,167
And it'll eat away
at you bit by bit.
1861
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:14,461
Look at your dad and me.
It's never too late.
1862
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:18,882
Actually, it is.
1863
01:26:18,882 --> 01:26:20,842
He got married today.
1864
01:26:23,845 --> 01:26:25,263
Cheers.
1865
01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:46,535
Hey, hey!
1866
01:26:46,535 --> 01:26:47,619
[Struggling]
1867
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:49,830
Just so you know,
I have a black belt,
1868
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:52,374
and my hands are considered
lethal weapons.
1869
01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:53,458
(David)
Ooh, scary.
1870
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,169
(Trudie)
David?
What's going on here?
1871
01:26:56,169 --> 01:26:58,380
Payback.
It's a bitch.
1872
01:26:58,380 --> 01:27:01,383
Aren't you supposed to be
on your honeymoon or something?
1873
01:27:01,383 --> 01:27:03,885
Okay, how about I take
that blindfold off now?
1874
01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:06,471
Huh?
How'd that be?
1875
01:27:08,390 --> 01:27:11,393
Wow.
Where are we?
1876
01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:17,482
Trudie, you are...
1877
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:20,068
Unorganized, and pushy,
1878
01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:22,070
and crazy.
1879
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,613
I know, and I'm working
on those things.
1880
01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:24,740
And if you'll just
listen to me‐‐
1881
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:26,616
and you talk too much.
Okay.
1882
01:27:29,494 --> 01:27:32,914
I lost a lot
because of you.
1883
01:27:32,914 --> 01:27:34,249
But I've realized
1884
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,500
that I don't want
any of those things.
1885
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:38,587
Wait.
You don't?
1886
01:27:41,298 --> 01:27:44,342
Everything I want...
Is right here.
1887
01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:50,599
Martin art
and architecture.
1888
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:53,643
A gallery and a studio.
1889
01:27:53,643 --> 01:27:57,355
Wow.
It's amazing.
1890
01:27:57,355 --> 01:28:00,275
And I've just
acquired my first piece.
1891
01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:09,534
I don't know what to say.
1892
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:11,661
That's a first.
1893
01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:19,085
I've spent my entire life
striving for things
1894
01:28:19,085 --> 01:28:20,504
that I didn't even want,
1895
01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:22,506
because I thought that's
what I was supposed to do.
1896
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,550
I thought I had
something to prove.
1897
01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:29,387
But I don't have to prove
anything to anyone anymore.
1898
01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:32,307
You don't?
1899
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:35,560
Well...
1900
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:37,437
Maybe one more thing.
1901
01:28:54,579 --> 01:28:57,582
Can you take these
off me now?
1902
01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:10,178
(Trudie)
There may be no such thing
as a perfect job,
1903
01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:12,722
a perfect family,
or a perfect life.
1904
01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:15,475
But there is such a thing
as a perfect moment.
1905
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:17,727
So I take back what I said.
1906
01:29:17,727 --> 01:29:21,439
Doing one crazy thing
probably does make you crazy,
1907
01:29:21,439 --> 01:29:24,109
but it can also make you happy
129281
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof