Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command.

That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

I've always thought there was something naturally cheerful about me.

It's a sort of English spirit thing. I just seem to make everyone around me

tremendously happy. The gifts.

Oh, yeah, must see. Let me... Oh, how very kind, Miss Penelope. There you go.

And to think some people call you lazy.

How little they know, eh, Monty?

Oh, come on. Why the long faces?

Cheer up, chaps. It's a beautiful day, even if it is Australia.

What's that to be cheerful about?

Oh, please.

You're genies. You've got magic coming out of your ears.

Well, magic isn't everything.

Really? What is?

Love?

Don't even think about it. You're not in love with Mummy, and she's not in love

with you.

I don't know where you get these silly ideas.

Well, she told me. She told you she's in love with you?

Well, you can't believe everything she says.

You two should get married.

I'd love to have a real mum, and she'd be the best.

I wish you'd put a cork in it.

Mummy, I'm here to cheer you up like I always do.

You'll love this. It's so funny. Otto phoned just a minute ago. He's coming

with some Japanese tourists who want to get married in the Alps.

Isn't that hysterical? I wish I was getting married.

No, you don't, Mummy.

Many marriages end in divorce these days. All because people run off with

who aren't what they seem.

Like, say, Bruce.

He never tells me anything about himself.

Well, I don't know.

Australians, half the time they go around making grunting noises.

I tell him everything about me and he never tells me anything about himself.

Well, exactly.

He's very boring. There's probably nothing to tell. Why can't he talk to me

about himself?

Amnesia?

Well, I can't tell her I'm a genie because she's not my master.

So she thinks I'm holding out on her.

And that's the way it's going to stay.

You just want Mummy to have the opal so she can set you free.

Well, only if she wanted to.

Well, forget it. You'll never make her happy.

Yes, he would. And if she was my mum, I'd want her to be happy.

I'm perfectly capable of making Mummy happy myself. I don't need Bruce.

No, I wish you'd just go and help Otto pitch his tents. I need to think.

Well, that'll take a while.

See you in a couple of years.

Sorry, Uncle.

Give me that!

Okay,

everybody, off the bus.

That's it, off the bus. Come on, every couple. Get off the bus and check out

your nuptial campsite.

We're still on the bus.

Get out of the bus!

Off the bus!

Come on!

Listen, while my associate, Conrad Sand, is erecting the tent...

Get out of the bus and take a squiz at the Australian desert.

Cop an eyeful. It's a fantastic photo opportunity.

Each snap will only cost you five Australian dollars.

I know.

How can he do it for the price?

After that, Darlene here will go through the entire ceremony for tomorrow.

The very Reverend Ono von Meister wants your von Meister Outback wedding

experience to be a beautiful memory that will live forever, if not longer.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Good work, Conrad -san.

Yeah.

Darlene, get him off the bus.

Then go through the procedure for the ceremony of marriage. I'll follow your

lead, okay?

There you go.

Listen now, Conrad, you've got to make sure Darlene signs that certificate.

What do you want to marry her for? She owns half the company. What's hers will

become mine.

Oh, right. That's why you did that marriage celebrants course at Bernie

Correspondent School.

Always thinking, Conrad.

My brain is a giant thinking thing.

You're an inspiration, Uncle Otto.

I've been reading a book, and it's called Honesty's the Best Policy, and

bloke reckons if you ask for something straight out, they'll be so shocked

they'll give it to you.

So I'm going to ask Penn for the apple.

The person who cheers you up is here again. I'm sure these will pick you up.

They remind me of the roses Bruce once gave me.

What about a holiday? We've got plenty of money.

Why don't we fly to Mauritius for a few weeks?

Oh, that's where I always wanted to go on my honeymoon.

Why don't we do something else? A game of chess?

I love that game.

Marvellous. With Bruce.

I don't want you to see me when I'm like this. You look beautiful.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Thank you, Bruce.

I'll cap your pen.

I'll make a nice pot of tea.

Why can't you just give the opal? Why can't you just make us all happy?

I know you think I've got this sacred, but I'm not telling you about it.

I have.

Just, I can't. Don't you trust me?

Excuse me.

I will give Mummy the opal if you promise never to ask for your freedom.

Deal.

Mummy? I want you to have this.

That's very nice, Penelope.

But it'll never go with my colouring.

Mummy, listen.

You've rubbed the opal in your hand. Your every wish is our command.

Oh.

Did you rehearse that together?

Baz and I are genies.

Really? And this opal is magic.

Whoever has it is our master and can wish for anything.

Golly.

Is it April Fool's Day?

It's true. No, Mummy, make a wish.

All right, if you insist.

This should do the trick.

Maybe

27

cups of tea in one day.

In too many.

So?

Will you marry me?

Of course.

So, can I wish for anything I want?

More or less.

Poor Mummy. She's so vulnerable and fragile.

I hope she can handle the magic.

G'day, Pen.

Dad? Look, I'm going to be up front with you and I'm going to tell you exactly

what's on my mind.

All right, then.

I've been thinking about this for a long time.

Really? So this probably won't come as a shock to you.

I suppose not.

I want you... I want you to give me the opal.

I'm just being honest.

Conrad! I want you to pour honey over your head and stick it in an anthill for

month or two.

Just being honest.

Right, so that'll be a no, then?

Pen?

You're going to be the most beautiful bride ever.

Oh, thank you, Mosse. You've done a wonderful job.

It was nothing, my lady. I'll just go and work on the bouquet.

Mummy. Mummy.

Can I have a word with you about the genies?

Oh, it's sad.

They really are like slaves, aren't they?

Well, yes, but very happy ones.

Congratulations, Didy. When I heard that you were getting married, I just

burst into tears.

You weren't the only one.

I would consider it a great honour if you would allow me to perform.

The witness service for you. At a special discount fee, of course. Mate's

Now, look, there's no pressure.

But if I lose face in front of my tour group by you knocking me back, I will

have to commit hurry -curry.

That'll make you happy?

That'll make me so happy I could cry.

It won't happen on the day.

Dad, when do you think you'll set us free?

Well, maybe we shouldn't expect too much, mate.

I mean, Diana's only human.

Eh?

Darling, I'm worried about this slavery business.

Don't worry about Bruce and Baz, Mummy.

I mean, if they weren't slaves, where would they be?

Unemployed, on the scrap heap?

No, I think they secretly know how lucky they are to have jobs.

Now, I've decided to invite Martha and Sophie to the wedding.

What about Bubbles?

Oh, poor Bubbles. I wish he could see how happy I am.

Hello.

Bubbles! I just blew in from England. I have a strange feeling you've been

thinking about marriage.

Oh, yes, in fact, I have been.

Terrific. So have I. To Booth.

Oh, silly.

I don't marry Booth. I want to marry you.

No, no, I'm marrying Booth.

Luckily, I'm equipped to take this on the tin.

I joined a chap with weak tin support group. No, no, that's enough.

Would so too to freshen up.

Thank you, Martha.

Tell me, is it possible for me to set you free? Yes, it certainly is.

Oh, I'm so confused.

I wish Bruce were here to explain.

Well, being the master, you're the only one who can set us free.

Not that I'm asking for it.

Well, then that's really no choice. I have to free you. Yes, you.

Baz can't grow up in slavery.

Freedom's a fundamental right. I know what I have to do, and I'm going to...

Mummy, please.

Have a word outside with Penelope for a minute.

What

about

Towns Hall?

Towns, Towns?

Mossop's wages, my school fees, your clothes all came from wishes.

If you have to marry Bruce, fine.

But let's hold on to the airport.

I mean, Mummy, they've been slaves for 5 ,000 years. What's the rush?

to set you free.

Are you serious? Straight after the wedding.

Just in case we need some magic on the wedding day.

But, Mommy!

Now, let's look at your dress.

We have a million things to do before tomorrow.

Mommy!

I do.

I do. I do!

I do?

I do!

G'day.

Nervous? Oh, no.

No.

I think you'll make a great husband.

Well, thanks, Pen.

I appreciate it. Even if you weren't such a great genie. A genie's only as

as their master.

No hard feelings?

No hard feelings.

I suppose it's goodbye to a genie and hello to a father.

Hello, daughter.

I'm so excited.

I hope I catch the bouquet.

It's not the groom, is it?

Unfortunately, no.

I...

I just wanted to know that I won't be objecting to the wedding.

I've spoken to the chaps with weak chins and I'm determined to put my nose to

the grindstone and face the whole thing with a stiff upper lip.

I hope he doesn't do anything rash at the wedding.

I hope his face doesn't come up in a rush with all those things he's doing to

it.

Dear, there's no one here.

Marcia, don't be so glad you could make it. Where is everybody?

Mummy wanted a small intimate ceremony.

Whatever's wrong, Mr. Smart?

I am perfectly fine, thank you.

You look as if you're in pain.

My nose is feeling a touch tender. My chin is a trifle weary and my upper lip

somewhat limp.

That Conrad let her rip.

Don't round him up.

No worries, mate.

Come on, gents. Get out of here. Conrad Tarantino, he's on the top.

Oh, looking good, Bruce. You're looking good.

Come on, fellas.

Keep it coming.

Keep it coming.

Oh, don't be scared.

Cheer up, guys.

It's your wedding, not your funeral.

Okay, blokes. You line up in position. Get in the line.

That's the way.

Okay.

Here come the cheerleaders.

Come on, then.

Come on!

You look so beautiful.

Come on, Di, keep your eyes on the prize.

Come on, ladies, don't keep those gents waiting.

Come on!

everybody.

Konichiwa.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the shadow of Uluru, the

heart of Australia.

Took me four hours to paint that. That's only fitting. The thing is, we're going

to be splicing some hearts today.

Before I get to the guts of this sacred ritual, I've got to ask, is there anyone

here who's got any problems with any of these people getting hitched?

Poor Bubbles. I wish he could be happy without me.

Babaloo!

Babaloo! Helga? Where are you?

Helga? I thought we were getting married today. We are?

This is my fiance.

Poor Bubbles, you dark horse, you. We all know why we're here, so let's cut to

the chase.

Blacks, I want you to grab your sheila's hand like this.

Dear blokes, take these sheilas to be your lawfully wedded wives.

Everybody repeat after me, I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do.

I do too.

Now I'm living, pal. This is a sacred ceremony, all right? Try to keep up.

Dear sheilas, take these blokes to be your lawfully wedded husbands. Everybody

out to their lane.

I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do too.

Then by the power invested in me by Bernie Parrott, I pronounce you husband

wife.

Go on, then.

Time to pack you up.

beautiful, wasn't it?

Hey, Penn, give us a smile.

Who's your boyfriend?

Say cheese.

Happy couple smiling?

That's it, mate.

Say sushi.

Lovely. I can't wait for you to be the champs. We do everything together.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, everybody.

To make it all official, you have to sign one of these wedding certificates.

All right?

Otto and Darlene will now demonstrate.

What? Are you telling me that we're legally married too? Look, all I'm

is, if you ever want to divorce me, you've got to give me everything.

Because what's yours is mine.

So what's mine is yours?

You'd better believe it.

Well, then what's yours is mine?

What? Because I've got some big plans.

I'm thinking...

Maybe I should get my bus driver's license.

Oh, gosh, I've always wanted to drive that thing. Or a bus.

Or maybe we could expand, you know, like more buses or even a fleet.

Then we're going to have to borrow the capital, of course.

Or maybe we could just float it on the stock exchange.

Oh, yeah, and this uniform, I think we should burn it.

And you have to wear a clean one every day.

You never know, you might even scrub up all right.

And I might even keep you.

You sure I can't come, Dad?

Not in the honeymoon, Dad. It's not the thing, mate.

So, Mommy, are you really going to, you know... As soon as we drive off, I'm

going to set my husband free.

Oh, well, that's okay, because I don't care about the opal anymore. Really, I'm

happier without it.

I told you you'd scrub up, all right.

But you're going to have to stop picking your nose.

Oh, come on, love, that's in here. Everyone does that a bit.

G'day, Pen.

Listen, um, we're just not interested in that opal anymore, so you can relax

about it.

Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't spit, I wouldn't, I wouldn't water that opal if

was on fire.

Yeah, I was thinking, you know, after all that's happened between us, that,

you know, we could just be really good friends.

Yes, that'd be really, really wonderful.

Eh? Yes.

My lady!

My lady, what about the bouquet? You forgot to throw it yesterday.

Oh, yes.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

Mummy to forget all about this genie business.

But Penelope!

Bye, Penelope.

Are you sure you don't want us to leave you a number? I'll find her if I need

you.

Don't you worry about Miss Penelope. I'll keep an eye on her.

You two enjoy yourselves, like I would if I ever had a holiday.

No hard feelings?

have made everybody happy after all.

Mummy's got a husband, and I've got a genie and a father.

And I've got a mum and a sister.

Yes, a little brother.

Oh, well, I suppose that's what happens when you make a little love with a bit

of magic.

I'm the genie, you're the master.

That's right. I'm the master, you're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down the...

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right then.