Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Jeannie Jeannie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

I can't go on much longer.

I don't think I can make it.

I'm on my last legs.

Funny how it starts. I did so innocently only a week ago.

It's not good enough, Bruce. I'm absolutely sick of you twisting my

Me? I wouldn't do that. I wished for a quiet break. What is this?

Well, it's broken in three places.

What if Marcia sees me? I wish to be exactly the way I was this morning and

tricks. If you insist.

Is that your new look for the school photo, Penelope?

For the last time, Bruce, I wish to be in my school uniform and no tricks.

Right.

You are incompetent. But I've learned my lesson. I'm not making any more wishes.

If I don't make wishes, you can't trick me. And then I definitely won't end up

in some horrible place like Australia.

Girl, we're going to Australia.

Miss Tynes.

Is that a hair out of place?

Sorry, Miss Chatterley, it won't happen again.

Hmm.

Now, girls, we're off to the outback.

We'll be facing perilous conditions, so more than ever it's important to

maintain our standards.

What standards do I mean, Miss Tynes?

Your motto, Miss Chatterley. Clean with a sheen is the hiding dream.

And what else? Miss, uh, Hartley.

You can accomplish any enterprise if you cleanse, tone, and moisturize.

Exactly.

Remember that, and we'll survive whatever perils the outback may pit

Of course, there'll be some supervising parents with us. And we've also employed

two Australian consultants.

Mr. Bruce and his son, Baz.

G'day.

Can I give you a hand?

I can manage, thank you.

I'm glad you're one of the parents going on the tour. Oh, you'll be even happier

that Mossy's going as the cook.

At least you'll have someone to talk to.

I'm tired of you disappearing every time we seem to be... To be?

You know, I don't want to talk...

Why did you rub that? I want you to know something.

Well, I already know something. Can I leave now?

I want you to know that no matter how many trials we may face in the outback,

won't be making any wishes.

I'm going to completely ignore you.

You won't be the only one.

Lady Towers.

Nigel Huntley, ex -Royal Marines.

I've saved your seat.

Oh, thank you.

Couldn't you find your hairbrush, Penelope?

Come along, Buzz.

Australia, here we come!

Any land will be met by our tour guide.

He's a living legend of the bush, and he's highly recommended.

Stay out there!

It's cruel, it's vicious, and it's dangerous.

Death lurks everywhere.

You can die in any one of a dozen different ways. You can wake up dead

you even know what's done you. No worries.

Wasn't too technical, was I? Oh, no, you're very good. You're so evocative.

Yeah, sorry about that. No, the air conditioner's on the blink.

No, I've been on the beard a little, haven't I? A bit pongy?

Oh, no. In fact, I, uh... I love a real man. Yeah.

It's so difficult being a single parent.

I'm looking forward to bonding with my daughter Marcia on this excursion.

Marcia's been one of his best friends.

I'm surprised we haven't met before.

Diana!

I think it's an absolute crime we haven't met before.

Cop an eyeful of this, eh? What a

pearler. The gem in Mother Nature's crown.

Now, I have chosen this site specifically with your needs in mind, so

enjoy. There you go, pal. Come on, there, Dad.

Reminds me of the Kip and Gary ranges of Tanzania.

Spent a year there once, studying dirt.

Oh, how earthy.

Stunning figure of a man, isn't he?

Oh, yes.

Unfortunately, Cormac's thick as a plank.

I mean Otto von Meister.

So rugged, so animalistic.

Animalistic?

Yes, like a warthog.

Reminds me of Nepal.

Living with a chirp for six months.

You've lived a very full life, Nigel. Well, so I thought, until I met you.

Don't you wish Nigel had BO or something?

I don't need magic, remember?

Now, girls, I want everybody to have their tents erected and be changed in...

You rubbed? I've just got one tiny, teensy little wish. Just this one.

I wish to look absolutely perfect.

Not a hair out of place.

Perfect skin, perfect tone, perfect complexion.

I don't want my clothes to crinkle. I wish them to hang perfectly at all

I don't want them to get dirty. Not a single scuff mark. In other words, I

to look absolutely amazing for the entire trip, regardless of what happens.

Oh.

Lucky it wasn't a big wish.

Let's explore, shall we?

What's this park called? I don't know.

And this one?

Well, Darlene could tell you that, but it's a week off.

Oh, Mr.

Shetley.

It's myth, actually.

Really? That seems hard to believe.

That's only because a man of your good looks and animal magnetism could have

woman he wants.

You don't know what it's like to crave.

Look, you honestly, you gotta put a little more sun cream on. You gotta

it right on, even wear a hat.

I want you, Mr. Von Meister, like I've wanted no other man.

Um, look at...

Oh, excuse me a minute. I've just got to confer with my associate. Just for one

tick. Conrad, get out of here!

Shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up, shut up.

Come here, come here.

Miss Huntley, is that a smudge?

Oh, uh,

uh, sorry, Miss Chatterley.

Never forget you're a hide -in girl.

Just remember something.

Jumping back home, you just can't wait. It's important, all right? I've got to

rush.

Mr. Bollister!

Oh, Mr.

Bollister, you're not leaving us, are you? Oh, Mr. Shadley, yeah, a bit of an

emergency's cropped up and I've got to shoot through. But don't worry, I'm

leaving you in very capable hands.

But they're not the hands I was hoping for, Mr. Bonner.

Conrad, I'll be in touch.

Do not despair, ladies. We can still enjoy nature with or without Herr von

Meister.

Oh, poor Miss Chatterley. Penelope's reflexes are so slow.

There is an important lesson to be learned here, girls.

You'll notice that Miss Tynes is quite immaculate, even though she is

unconscious.

Very good work, Miss Tynes. B plus.

Although, I'd have to deduct marks for this.

It doesn't match or coordinate.

I'll mind that for her, Miss Chatterley.

I am her best friend, after all.

It's all right, Miss Tynes. You'll be fine.

Where's the wakey?

You've rubbed the opal in your head. There, there. Penelope's waking up. I

she wouldn't interrupt.

Oh, good.

Your makeup is still impeccable.

ready to cook now.

Where's the food?

The food has come. It's on the bus.

Oh, well, Uncle Otto, you've really done it this time.

You mean there's no food?

No food at all?

Oh, no, there's food. There's tons of it. It's just it's on the bus with my

Uncle Otto.

Stop that. You're hiding, girls. You'll ruin your mascara.

Everything will be all right.

Oh, no.

Quiet, Miss Tynes.

If we cleanse, tone and moisturise, there shouldn't be a problem.

Well, that's fine for you, but if there's no food, I can't cook. If I

cook, I don't have a job.

What am I going to do, sit here and starve to death without a job?

It's just not right.

I must have dropped it. Miss Tynes, please, this is not the time.

It's all right. Daddy knows how to survive in the wilderness.

Don't you, Daddy?

Why, yes, of course.

It was some time ago.

Oh, Nigel, it's like you were meant to be here.

Yes, of course.

What do you think we should do first, then, Nigel?

Well, uh... Well, the first thing is, uh... What do you want, Nigel? Oh,

I'm trying to think.

Water.

Yes, that's what we need, water. We'll have to dig in some dried -up riverbed.

I'll need a map.

On the bar.

OK, fine. Well, then I'll, uh...

I'll use a, you know, a compass.

Compass?

That'll be on the bus too.

Well, then we'll improvise, eh?

Perhaps we should dig over there.

Get the shovels, eh?

They're on the bus.

We do have our nail files.

Surely good.

You see, my Opal, that's the last of the water.

What will we do?

We won't be able to make tea.

Daddy will find water.

And don't you wish that water bottle would always be full?

Yes, of course I do.

Bruce! I don't care how she got it. I wish I had it back now.

Sorry, Pen.

Rules are rules.

be helping him find water?

Oh, I don't want to cramp his style.

I wish Daddy would find something.

It's gold.

I found gold.

Look, everyone.

It's gold.

I found gold.

Can you be thinking about trinkets at a time like this?

You really are selfish, Penelope.

Good to see you're maintaining the hiding standards, Miss Tynes.

How do you manage to keep your hair looking so shiny and healthy?

Oh, Marcia, I'll tell you if you give me back my opal.

You're doing it to spite me. You're just doing it to make me look bad.

You want your back, Penelope Townes.

I've decided to record my thoughts of our struggle to survive in the

Should anything happen to us, at least people will know what we went through.

At the hours and days of our ordeal wore on, the hunger became unbearable.

Nigel decided our only hope for survival was to eat our cosmetics.

Day three, and still no sign of rescue. I'm beginning to detect subtle changes

within the group.

Standards are starting to sniff.

Desperation is starting to take hold. The hiding standards.

Gone.

Day four.

And now I'm really starting to worry about the girls.

It's as if they're returning to some sort of primitive, wild state.

And on a personal note, Matthew looks terrible without make -up.

If I say it's very fetching, will you give me back my opal?

Oh, you can't. Delicate complexion.

Put it on.

Not one of us.

Not one of us.

Not one of us.

Not one of us.

Not one of us.

Only as a bonding experience for the girl, isn't it?

Miss Chatterley's wig had saved my life. But I knew it was only a matter of time

before they turned on me again.

I had to get my opal back.

Choosing my moment carefully, I struck while Marcia slept.

I knew I'd only get one chance.

Thieves will be punished.

Thieves will be punished.

I knew if I stayed,

I'd end up like Miss Chatterley's wig.

Or worse.

Struggling to appear calm, I headed into the bush.

Somebody had to save us.

Or die trying.

Better keep an eye on her, Baz.

Mile after mile we trekked, searching for any faint trace of civilization.

The heat and gnawing hunger were relentless.

Yes.

Yes, I think we should categorically rule out cannibalism.

Yeah. I mean, it's just not British to even consider eating human flesh under

any circumstances.

Mind you, Mossop is the eldest.

What would you know? You're never hot or hungry. Nothing ever worries a genie,

does it?

I'm worried about you.

Willpower.

That's the key.

Mind over matter. What?

I remember once, in the Nile Delta, me and the troops having to eat camel poo

-poo. Dreadful state of affairs.

Mind you...

With the right garnish.

Like we're sharing

the same mirage.

Yes, but I wish it was a nice cup of tea.

Can't tell how bad Penelope is. She still looks amazing.

Do you mind? I'm the rating thief.

Where's Penelope?

I haven't seen her for ages.

Who?

Penelope, my daughter.

You mean the noisy one?

I'm sure she's all right.

Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that. If she's wandered off, lions could have

taken her.

We're in Australia.

Well, all right, wild pandas. They're awfully fast.

Oh, Penelope!

There, there, Diana, there, there.

If she's gone, she's gone.

That's terrible.

There's one less person to eat her.

I can't go on much longer.

I don't think I can make it.

I'm on my last legs.

Funny how it started so innocently only a week ago.

Looks magnificent.

Everything a hiding girl should be so.

Look at this.

Quick, girls, run.

Run. A hiding girl can't be seen looking less than her best. We are a disgrace

to our school and our motto.

Run!

Where have you been, Uncle Otto?

I've been attending to a little bit of business with me. I uncover nothing you

don't understand. Don't worry about it, all right?

Darling, you're still... Ah, the food trailer.

Food. You're still... Oh,

I wish we were just cleaned up and back at hiding right now.

Oh, yes.

Oh, no.

Shame you look so awful, Penelope.

Especially when everyone else looks so pretty.

Oh, yes, and here's your opal back.

It doesn't seem especially lucky, and I really don't think it's me.

I must admit, I did alter the photograph.

Not to make myself more beautiful or anything.

I just gave myself a little smile, that's all.

I've found that you don't need to be especially beautiful when everyone else

around you is especially ugly.

See?

And sometimes it's nice to share the magic with a friend.

I'm the genie. You're the master.

That's right.

I'm the master.

You're my genie. You belong to me.

Yes. I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right then.

Genie, genie, from down under.

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