Original subtitles

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Genie from down under.

Dad, we're free!

Poor mummy, so depressed.

She was in love with my genie, but he broke her heart.

Come on, Penn, that's not true.

She told a big porky. Shh.

Ruth is a cheat and a heartbreaker. That's why I've made a permanent wish

he has to stay invisible whenever he's around her.

My lady, my lady.

I think you've pruned it now.

Come inside and have a nice cup of tea. Can you see any dead bits?

No dead bits.

No live bits. No tree.

Come inside, my lady.

It's for her own good.

I have to protect her from that devious, lying scoundrel.

There you go, Penny. Dad doesn't lie. Thank you, Dad.

You're the one who lied.

I don't lie.

Lie. Look, I may have told Mummy that Bruce kissed all her friends behind her

back, but that was necessary.

Lie. No, it wasn't. It was a colourful invention that served a valued purpose.

Lie. Face the pen. You have no comprehension of honesty or

I beg your pardon.

Truth. Oh, it's not your fault or anything.

You're just...

Weak -willed and lacking in moral fibre.

No offence, just an observation.

Ask anyone, they'll tell you the same thing.

Well, I mean, they would if they didn't fib to spare your feelings.

I am not a liar and I'm not afraid of the truth.

Quiet! You see, Baron?

Touchy, defensive.

No wonder they treat you with kid gloves round here.

Oh, just an observation.

All right, Smarty, observe this.

I wish everybody would know it. From now on, I wish everybody would tell the

truth the whole time. So there.

You sure?

I've never been surer of anything in my life.

Good run, Dad.

Sometimes it's just too easy, mate.

What was that?

I honestly don't know.

Marcy, do you feel any different?

No.

Every day is the same monotonous drudgery.

Cleaning up after a lazy girl.

What? Same low wages. Putting on the same brave face to cope with the likes

yourself.

Oh. I see.

I'd better answer that.

Seeing as how I'm the only person who actually does anything around here.

Hello, mother. Oh, you're looking dumpy today.

Oh.

Hello, my lord. What a tedious surprise.

I'm taken aback by your rudeness, mother, but I'm such a spineless chap,

going to pretend I didn't hear that. Isn't Diana about?

Come this way.

Better you bore her to death than me.

If I may.

That silly bubbles to see you, my lady.

Good morning, Bubbles. You're looking as gormless as ever.

Yes, that's quite likely.

I was in the area with my support group exploring the inner chap. My inner chap

thought I should pop in and sponge off your hospitality.

So, here I am.

Martha, please stay and have tea with us so I don't have to be alone with

Bubbles and listen to him rabbiting on.

I'd rather not, my lady.

Together the two of you might bore me to death.

I must admit that hurts my feelings, but it's true.

Luckily, there's no chap so awful, honestly, of self -discovery. I've

that if you fool yourself, then the chap you've found isn't the chap you are. In

fact, the chap you think you are isn't even the chap you should be looking for.

You're even sillier than ever.

I suppose that's true.

Me? Why?

That's what people have been trying to tell me all my life. I'm completely and

utterly stupid.

Why?

Self -centered as I am, I can't stand seeing Mummy so depressed.

I have to do something to cheer her up. Like letting her see me so I can explain

that I didn't kiss a friend.

No. I mean making the ultimate sacrifice. Taking her to the place that

miserable, but doesn't seem to make her vaguely happy.

You mean down, down?

Yes. I wish we were all in Australia.

Beauty.

To be honest, Uncle, I don't think a trip to the bush is going to reform

guys. I mean, all they want to do is rob, trash and steal everything, which I

kind of respect, but still, you know.

I reckon you're right, Conrad.

And frankly, I'm too much of a coward to cope with this.

Well, boys, I suppose you're all wondering what we're doing out here

Not really.

The government hasn't got a clue what to do with it, so they're paying you to

take us off their hands for a couple of days.

And you're desperate for the money.

Yep, just about the size of it.

Howdy -doody.

I suppose you're here to try and steal my opal, as usual.

Yes, spot on.

And you'll use any climy, underhanded way to get it?

Absolutely, whatever it takes.

You really are a transparently low, dirty, greedy individual, aren't you?

Yeah.

Look, I'll just go and park round the back as usual, even though I'm not

and I'm not welcome.

See ya.

Do you think Colm would look me at me?

No.

I'm going to go and find out what he really thinks of me.

Okay, boys, time to get out and enjoy the great outdoors.

What do you think?

No.

Don't feel like it.

Are you going to take charge here, or are you the jellyfish I always thought

were? Even though I usually don't respect you in judgment, in this case,

spot on.

to drop by for a casual chat, but I'm really here to put my deep emotions on

line.

How are you?

I'm scared of those guys on the bus, actually.

Oh.

Conrad, tell me, what do you really think of me?

Well, you're a stuck -up, boring English snob, you know. You don't surf, you

don't wear bikinis, and you hit that far up yourself. It's not funny.

Oh.

Thank you, Conrad.

No worries.

That gives me a fair idea.

Not wanting to reverse the truth wish, eh?

No. And I've had enough of making Mummy happy. I wish I was back in England with

my real friends.

But Diana just got here.

You heard me.

It's so nice to be with my real friends again.

I hope you don't mean us, because I hate you.

Why?

No reason. I hate everybody.

And I hate you because I never have an opinion of my own.

Well, the truth is, the thorny road.

Stop trying to trick me out of this, Whitbrook. I don't care how painful it

I'm going to see it through.

So, you're up for a few more home truths.

You want home truths?

All right, Bruce, you're a smart aleck.

Continue!

Thank you, Tay.

Well, Baz, your father's a mad Australian who's too big for his own

nullipy!

How dare you insult the only man I'll ever love, even though I know that love

hopeless.

See, Pim? She does like Dad.

Of course. It's obvious even to a twit like me that Bruce is her one true love.

No wonder I'm so jealous.

Where is Bruce?

I haven't seen him since the day he broke my heart with his roaming lips.

Oh, to be honest, that keeping story was something I...

I know your game. You're trying to trick me into telling Mummy the truth

about... Well, it won't work.

I've got the opal. I'm prepared to use it even though I don't deserve it. I

agree with you, Penelope. You don't deserve such lovely jewellery. I'll take

that. Mummy, what if you lose it?

All right, then. I'll give it to Bubble.

He's so obsessive. He'll never lose it.

Thank you for the date of confidence, Diana.

You've rubbed the opal in your hand. Your every wish... You've rubbed the

in your hand. Your every wish is our command.

Don't fight, please. I wish you'd all just calm down and be rational and

civilised and British.

All right, Uncle.

I'm very rude and insolent. I'm sorry, Mummy.

That's all right, darling.

It worked.

You're calm.

I looked into myself and I found the peace in the heart of the inner chap.

you felt it too.

My inner chap must be a leader.

I must tell the world.

Oh, no, Bubbles. I wish that every chap might know the simple truth I've learned

through my support group.

Baba Bubbles, your holiness. Our ears are hungry for your words of wisdom.

Oh, spiffing.

Come, chap. Let us begin our journey of enlightenment.

And remember the tweed.

Tweed are important.

They are very valuable.

They don't just grow on tweed, you know.

And the birds are important.

How am I going to get my opal back with all these people around him?

Why are you joining him? Bubba is a total fool.

I know, but he's just so Ian at the moment.

He's just the best Bubba.

He's no Bubba. He's totally Gaga.

He's got my opal.

The tapeworm, the hookworm, the wingworm, they are our brother.

You're all out of the bus, then?

Congratulations.

I don't exactly know what you're going to get out of the bush, and I don't

really care.

I'm only in it for the money.

I reckon this place is a bit of a hole.

Don't relate to that.

There's nothing to trash.

No one to rob or beat up.

Well, there's always us.

Oh, come on, boys. Come on, let's go.

Now,

all together.

Oh.

Oh.

Bubbles, Bubbles, can I? No, no, let the child approach unto me.

Your disciples have taken all my clothes, jewelry, magazine.

Yes, my child, thank you. We needed the money.

Oh. If you see your mother, tell her that I love her. It's my deepest wish

she should love me back.

Bubbles. My goodness, Diana.

Bubbles. Even though you're a self -absorbed prat, I love you in a sisterly

So I pledge everything I own to the cause. We must spread the word of Bubba

Bubbles.

You know, I could get you the opal back.

If you'll let me be visible in front of you. No, I'll get it back myself.

I've got a plan.

No,

no, it's all right, it's all right. All great leaders face dissidence.

Good plan, Ben.

Look at her. So much violence.

I wish there was none of it in the world.

When he says no violence... I mean, I wish there was world peace.

Whoa!

Gee, sorry about that.

Don't know what you're into with.

Here's your wallet.

And your tea.

And your CB radio.

Good evening.

And tonight there's hardly any news.

No war and no crime.

Everything's just fine.

Well, this is great.

Let's go straight to the cute animal story, shall we?

How am I going to get the opal back without lies and aggression?

Oh, same, isn't it?

Lies and aggression are just so...

You? We'll take this for Baba Bubbles.

Oh, Morsi, not the television.

And the chair, too.

Morsi, I'm hungry. Can I have a sandwich, please?

Of course you can.

Just help yourself.

Baba Bubbles says there are no masters and no servants. We're all equal now.

That's what I like about Baba Bubbles.

What about lunch?

Baba Bubbles says, explore your inner hunger.

You know, it's really quiet here when you're not smashing things.

Yeah, it's really peaceful.

It's the most beautiful moment of my life.

I think I'm going to cry.

I think I'm going to be thick.

I love you blokes.

We love you too.

I am going to be sick.

World peace, he says.

Wonderful. What's the good of world peace when all I've got left in the

a chair?

Baba Bubbles needs the chair.

But what will I sit on?

Baba thinks we should be at one with the floor.

I want to be very, very angry. I want to lose my temper.

Oh, well, I can't observe the peace, but... Well, if you let me be visible in

front of your mother... Read my lips.

N -O, no way. I don't want your help or your ideas. Is that clear?

I wonder when they'll be back for your clothes.

Don't be ridiculous.

Bubbles wants everyone to go around the nuddy.

The nuddy?

You mean naked? No clothes?

Yeah, Bubbles wants you to be at one with the air.

Idea you were talking about. I was... What are you looking at?

Oh, reading your lip.

Do it.

Chap.

Email chap.

Anything is possible if you wish harm.

I wish the sun would come out for the petunias. Oh, yes. Good idea.

Flowers are important.

All right, let's all wish for sunshine.

I wish for sunshine.

For the petunias.

Positive thoughts bring positive action.

Are there any other wishes?

You sure?

You can't get the apple back with all these people around.

Baba Bubbles.

Oh, yes.

I wish the whole world could share in this.

Oh, that's extremely generous, Penelope.

You should be such a selfish little person.

Well, I've changed thanks to you, Bubbles. Sorry, Baba.

And I'm sure there are others who could, too, in, say, Australia.

Oh, really? Oh, yes.

Oh, I can think of quite a few right now.

All right, chaps and tapessas, let's all concentrate really hard.

I wish we were all with our friends in Australia right now.

You see the power of positive thinking, chaps.

Chaps? Oh,

a welcome, you chaps. Peace be with you.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks.

Are you coveting my opal?

Ah.

Yeah, in a peaceful sort of way.

I know it's wrong, but I really want it.

I want it too, Baba Bubbles. So do I.

Oh, champs, don't you see? It's this preoccupation with material things that

destroys people.

What can we do about it, Baba?

We have to give up all material possessions.

That's the only way we can be honestly wealthy.

I don't want any possessions.

I only want to see Bruce again.

What's the answer, Baba Bubbles?

Diana Dwight, imagine we have no possessions.

I wonder if you can.

No, I can't. But I've got no imagination.

And he stinks too.

Oh? Come on, chaps.

Let's get rid of all our possessions right now.

Is that a wish, Mr Bubba? That's my most fervent wish.

Starting development today as people everywhere shared all their worldly

possessions, including clothes.

Eskimos, Finns and Laplanders are staying indoors. And the first nude

Mount Everest entered abruptly today when several climbers found themselves

frozen together.

And now the weather.

Melbourne, fine, 21.

Adelaide, showers, 19.

And Perth, sunny, 28.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

Oh, dear.

Good plan, Bruce.

Bubba Bubbles, I must protect in a most non -violent way.

Honestly, Bubbles, we don't want to be in the nude.

I must admit, lack of clothing does make a chap feel somewhat naked.

I guess we knew it wasn't so rude.

This is wonderful.

No clothing, no possessions, no deodorant.

You know, Penna, you would look great in a bikini. Oh, thank you,

Conrad. Pen.

Pen. Pen.

The opal.

Do.

It's got to be here somewhere.

She's after the opal.

I don't want to. You know, I must say, this is very liberating.

Don't you all feel better with no clothes?

No.

Hmm.

Good. Thanks, Ben.

That was very touching, what you said before.

About wanting to see me.

Why are you wearing your clothes?

And where have you been? Why have you been avoiding me?

I honestly wish everything was back to normal.

Thanks for everything. We had a ball.

And I reckon we got a lot out of it.

In fact, you're America worker.

No, no, no, no.

I'm just a normal bloke trying to give a bit back to society.

See you, boys.

See you, Mark. See you.

We are under a real winner here, darling. Two or three bookings like this

month and we'll be rolling the cat. Told you it was a good idea.

You might have mumbled something, but I'm the one who turned it into an idea.

I'm the one who made it work.

This is all your fault, Ali.

Next time you have an idea, kill yourself.

Look at me, boss.

This is going to take you days to clean.

I'm very excited about my new support group. It's called Ignoring the

It's a chat sort of thick of navel -gazing and just wants some excitement.

We're starting off with a Scrabble tournament.

Lately, I've learned that the truth is a wonderful thing in small doses.

Bubbles, you're quite a man.

You're so evolved, Bubbles. And such entertainment.

Sometimes I think to myself, what would we do without your lordship?

When it comes to making a choice between telling a little fib to make someone

happy or revealing the naked truth, well, occasionally it's best to keep

things hidden.

Really, that's the truth.

I wouldn't lie.

You're the master.

That's right. I'm the master. You're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under. I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right then.

Genie from down under.