Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command.

That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

Logic happens to be my best subject. And I only got a seat in my assignment.

It's my teacher's fault. I studied really hard.

I did all my homework.

Well, some of it.

I was going to do it, but I had a lot on my mind.

I'm very good at logic. It's just not right. It's not fair.

That's why I hate school.

Oh, that's logical.

I wish for a meteor to hit the school and flatten it. Won't it kill the other

kids too?

Oh, really bad. As if I hadn't thought of that.

That's why I wish for it to happen tonight at nine o 'clock.

Your every wish is my command.

One catastrophe coming up.

What about the night classes?

Oh, really bad. As if I hadn't thought of that.

Oh, what's going on? Oh, we're being pulled backwards to the past.

Oh, as if.

You can't leave now.

I'm in the middle of a fish.

Oh, gee.

Oh, Murray gone a long way.

I'm Penelope and... Did I?

What do you do with a TV?

You look at it.

Then what do you do?

Hey!

Pucker!

Funny looking pucker.

I think it's done.

I don't eat stuff and I don't like...

Stop some people from getting squished.

You're right.

I get it. You're the master from the future.

The future?

Yeah, get out. I'm the master from the past.

We're heading out to Murray -Gonnalongaway's bike.

And this is where we find the famous bush tucker. Oh, yeah, bolt tucker out

there.

Excuse me for being so bold.

Oh, you're not bold.

I think you've got a lovely head of hair.

Are you Mary?

Mary? Oh, nah, nah.

Name's Darlene.

more than anything, Conrad?

Answering your undies? I don't wear undies.

Oh, onion -flavoured ice cream.

What I hate more than anything is getting conned.

Yeah.

But having an answer in your undies is still pretty bad.

Darlene conned me and they're giving her half the business.

Well, I've figured out a way of getting it back.

How are you going to do that?

Marry her, Conrad.

Marry her.

You can't, future master.

See? He's not your genie. He's mine.

I've never seen you before.

He's the genie from the past, see? I woke up this morning a thousand years

and I thought, wouldn't it be great to see the future?

So I made a wish, and here we all are. Until sunset.

What happens then?

I made a return wish.

At sunset, we automatically go back to where we came from.

Mum's cooking rutile for dinner.

Don't want to miss out on that. Of course not.

Oh, no, it's Mummy. You better get dressed. You know, dressed like

me. I wish we were dressed like her.

What's going on here?

Oh, nothing. We're just playing dress -ups.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mummy. This is... Murray gone long way, get I?

a pal of mine. He's visiting from Australia.

Oh, well, I hope you can stay for dinner.

Long before sunset.

Oh, it's at six o 'clock tonight, long before sunset.

I have to be at Penelope's school later on. It's parents' evening.

We're meeting at nine o 'clock.

Are you going to introduce us?

What?

What do you mean? You know Mummy.

I do.

Of course we do. Yeah, we just had our heads stuck in the past there for a

minute. Yeah, a thousand years ago.

So, um, what was your name again?

Thanks for dropping in, Mommy.

Yes.

Murray, I have a really big favor. You see, I made this wish for a catastrophe,

and now Mommy's going to be squished. So could I just borrow this just for a

quick wish?

That's a good one.

How dumb do you think I am?

Everybody's always after the apple.

You're a master.

Would you lend your apple to anyone?

Yes, I do it all the time here in the future.

That's a good one.

One minute Bruce says he wants to marry me, the next he pretends he doesn't know

me. Heartless.

All men are heartless.

He was wearing a dress, you think?

Longaway site. Very ancient, very sacred.

Trade it with some respect, all right? And the famous bush tucker, she is here.

Yeah, yeah, it's all over the place. You've just got to know where to find

all right? And that's why I've got a leading bush tucker expert to prime you

for my postgrad masterclass.

It is my pleasure to hand you over to a foremost bush tuckerologist, Conrad von

Meister.

Just fake it, all right? Just stall them. I need some time alone with

okay? Just go and do it. You know what I mean?

Okay, you go and do it.

Come here, love. I want to see you.

Well, the thing about bush tuckeries, you find it in the bush.

What's going on?

Darlene, Darlene, Darlene.

You know, I've never told you this before, but you've got beautiful eyes.

Two of them.

Come here, Darlene. I haven't finished talking to you, honestly.

Mummy, I really don't think you should go to the school tonight. Don't try and

talk me out of it, Penelope. I want to talk to the teachers about your mum.

Dinner is ready.

Ah, what's taking them?

Ah,

delicious.

Thank you.

It's my mother's recipe.

Look, I'm sorry I... I think I said the wrong thing before.

That's all right.

Well, I'd really like to start from scratch, so, um... What was your name

Ruth?

We'll be back for dinner, Mummy.

Ruth, don't talk to my mother.

You don't know it yet, but the fact is you've hurt her.

Dad wouldn't hurt anyone.

He said he loved her and then he kissed all her best friends and broke her

heart, so you'd better not talk to her.

That's not real either, Murray.

Well, funny place, the future.

Hey, future master, what do you do every day?

Oh, lots of things.

I read.

Read? What's that?

It's a book. You read it. It's very educational.

Very well. It's wiggly lines. I don't understand.

What do you do every day?

That. Oh. Oh, no, it's all go, go, go in the future.

Shopping, horse riding, tennis, parties, shopping for parties.

Oh, and sometimes I go to school.

Hmm, OK.

Let's do all that before sunset.

Now, you cannot find Bush Tucker in a garage, video store or hardware joint.

You've got to find it in the bush.

You catch my drift? You know where I'm coming from?

She is a vision.

Right, you have said a mouthful.

She is a little pearler. Twenty mile of a gallon, air conditioning, what more

could you ask for?

Not any bar.

Right.

Very

strange.

Where are the gum trees?

We don't have gum trees in Wiltshire.

Where's that?

Wiltshire in England.

Here, in England. England.

Great Britain. United Kingdom.

Never heard of it. Have you? No.

Must be a little place.

Little? It's an empire.

Well, I suppose to you it's on the other side of the globe. What globe?

The world. The planet.

The world is round, you know.

You've got a great sense of humor, future master.

Round.

I'll show you some exciting English roses if you just let me... Hey, a

Is he always like that? Oh, yeah.

Great, isn't he?

Best master we ever had.

Well, I'm better.

You know, quite often in the future, you're always telling me how I'm the

master you've ever had.

Yeah? Gee, that's something to look forward to, isn't it?

What kind of back is he?

Oh, we call that a decoy.

It's not real.

Very strange, the future.

Of course you realise in the future I've freed you.

You have? Oh, yes.

I'm very generous. In the future, we're all like that.

Generous giving.

What a great place, Dad. And if I could get the opal, I'd free you right now.

That'd be great.

Would be, but we couldn't let it do that, son.

Why ever not, Bruce? I mean, it's your fondest wish to be free, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, it is, but... Well, if we're free now, it'll change the past.

No, no, we've got to go back.

It's

not

real either, Murray.

This unreal thing, it's big in the future?

We're running out of time.

What else you do around here, future master?

fall to you.

And then what?

Well, then you hit it back to me.

And then what?

Well, then I hit it back to you and we just keep going.

Is that logical in the future?

I don't know. I only got a C for logic.

Who are these blokes?

Best pieces. That's another game. You'll love this. What you have to do is try

and deal your opponent's queen.

Got it!

No, it does.

Give it back.

It's a good game.

Now,

these red ones taste a bit like cherries. I would like to make a special

treat for you, darling.

Thank you.

All right, the leggy folks, for the real bush tucker expert, Conrad. I have some

urgent business to discuss with my executive co -director.

Well, I told you where to get it, but did I tell you how bush tucker got its

name? Eh?

Darlene, there is a pounding in my chest.

Interjected? Nah.

Darlene, I've got these for you.

Don't say nothing.

I wasn't going to.

Oh, there's not a lot of choice around here. I looked everywhere. These are for

you, my desert bloom.

I found them growing wild.

But they have not a patch on your beauty.

Thanks, Pierre.

You're beautiful.

Am I wrong?

You see, the correct diet is absolutely essential.

After all, you are what you eat. The chaps in my support group said that

me a baked jam roly -poly.

Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?

Oh, thank you. We donate.

What? Much.

Oh, are you on a cleansing diet?

Um, yeah, sort of.

Have you been on it for long?

Thousands of years.

Well, it's very cleansing.

Well, well, though, I... Murray, it's nearly sundown. I need you to fix my

I don't want Mummy to be squished.

Get through.

Ask Martha to help me around the future market, will you?

But what am I going to do?

I still haven't decided what I'm going to wear to parents' evening tonight.

I suppose that Martha should get together.

I wish I could help you.

In the end, I felt solution. I went on two diets at once.

Well, I just walked and gave you another one.

It was all a complete disaster.

I just want to tell you that I'm really sorry about kicking all your friends.

Would you like to see where you once lived? You know, see what it looks like

today? That'd be great.

Apparently I did do it, so, you know, sorry if I hurt you.

Are you ready, Dad?

Oh, this is very disturbing, Ruth.

I'm...

Goodness, some diets are so light that people vanish right before your eye.

Smell the eucalyptus.

Logically, we should have more time until the sunset.

Oh, uh, 67 minutes exactly.

Then we go back to the past.

So, we've got exactly 67 minutes to stop Mummy from being, well, you know, to

stop her from being... Squashed?

Please, Rose.

Sorry, sorry, you have to save her.

I'm really looking forward to meeting her when we're back here in a thousand

years.

Hope she'll wait for me.

Dad. That frog thinks he's going to stand in the

way of true love. He's got another thing coming.

Darlene.

Darlene.

I am deeply in love with you.

There. And I'm asking you to be my wife.

You haven't been eating those purple bells, have you? Why?

I'll make you ill.

Oh, no.

Excusez -moi.

Excuse me. We are having a very private, very personal moment.

I want to know if Darlene is free tonight for a moonlight stroll.

I don't think so, mate. I have just proposed a marriage.

The red ones are edible, but those green leaves aren't.

All right, you got this? The reds are go, the greens are not.

Harry,

if you let them dry for a week, then you can crush them up and use them as the

seasoning over, say, smoked guano.

I can cook that for the dinner.

No, thank you. We've already eaten.

Oh, the English, as they eat at their rate.

You'd be in trouble, wouldn't you?

Yeah? Oh, Murray, gone a long way.

You look just like your great -great -grandmother from a long time ago.

Thank you.

Hang on. Hang on.

There's something going on between you two.

First the frog, and now you've got this other bloke on the side. Oh, come on,

Otto. We're family.

And she's like my great -great, you know?

You're a great granddaughter.

I can't believe this. I'm pouring out my heart to you, Darlene, and all the

while you're flirting with a frog and tearing on this other bloke. But I've

never seen him before.

There's obviously a lot of this kissing other people behind each other's backs

happening in the future.

Right. Okay.

Right, pal.

That's it.

I'm calling you out.

No one comes and chases my girl.

Would you like me to hold the herbal? He might break it. Sure, I'll have a go.

Would you? Oh, yes, of course.

Come on, listen, I'm serious.

No one steals my girl. You're history, pal.

I thought it was the best thing to do.

If this is how people behave around here, in my home, you'd all better leave

right now.

Because of true love, she never runs smooth.

What does one wear to a parent's evening, Mothy?

Don't appear too hard.

Or too soft.

Or too formal.

Or too casual.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I think I might just have a lie down myself.

I had the strangest dream.

I dreamt we were in the future.

Hey, where's my apple?

You can't keep it, sister.

Bad things will happen.

I'm sorry. You seem like a nice chap and everything, but I've got to save Bummy.

It's the only way.

We'll have to go back without you.

Perhaps I can come and visit you sometime.

Don't give me that apple. You'll have to visit anybody.

Oh, no.

It's sunset.

If Murray goes back without the ocelot, he won't have it anymore.

It's really brutal. I mean, is that logical?

It's obvious.

Then you won't be able to pass it on to the next master.

Obviously. And everything will be different from then on?

Your parents might never meet.

And you'll never be a master. Because I might never be born.

Murray!

It's too late.

I'll never meet Diana again.

We need a wish.

We'll have to chase the sun.

Of course. I wish to be where the sun hasn't set yet.

West of here.

Oh, Murray, I wish you'd come back.

What?

Mum's been calling me to dinner for a thousand years.

She's going to kill me. I've got to get home.

If I give you this, does that mean my opal and my genies will come back when

you've gone?

I hope so, as long as you haven't changed anything in the past already.

Here, it's the only logical thing to do. I don't want to ruin the past as well

as the future.

I look forward to seeing you in the past sometime.

Bye! I'll see you in the past, Mr Master.

Bye!

Say, she's mildly upset, wouldn't you, Beth?

I'd say so, Dad.

Are you the real thing?

Us?

What about you?

You're not usually happy to see us.

I am now. I wish to stop the meteor from hitting my school tonight.

Done? Do you want it to burn down or something instead?

No, no, I'm happy with things just the way they are.

So beautiful.

Stop telling me that.

What's that like?

Pierre gave me the flick.

Pierre? He just wanted me for my bush tucker recipes.

Men always use you up and spit you out. Oh, I know exactly what you mean.

It's shocking, isn't it?

You've got beautiful ears.

Go on, darling.

Plant one on me.

Oh, well.

From every heartbreak, something is gained.

I now know how to use a frying pan.

Home. And everything seems normal.

So Mari must be safely back in his own time with his opal.

Well, that's logical.

And we're all still here, so I didn't change the part after all.

Well, that seems logical, too. So I'm a pretty clever girl to have gotten us out

of that mess, eh?

Well, that'd be logical to you.

I've learned so much about logic, time and space.

Everything we do has an effect on everything else.

That's why I have to be so very, very careful with my wishes.

Luckily, I got an A for logic, so it's all quite simple.

I thought she got a C.

Which brings me to my next wish.

I'm the genie, you're the master. That's right. I'm the master, you're my genie.

You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down the...

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Oh, yeah, all right, dear.