Original subtitles

A man wanted to give us 15 quid for this. I couldn't decide whether to take

money.

You should have asked 20 for it. Okay, I'll have it.

Well done.

Huh?

My name is Henry Cole, and I'm a junkaholic.

Better get wheelie and dealie.

Together with me three mates, top restorers, Alan Milliard.

Yes!

Guy Willethan. I'm like a coiled spring.

On Sand Love Grove, we've been rummaging our way through Britain's sheds. Wow.

Farm sales, auctions and jumbles for automotive treasures.

Oh, my Lord, look at that. To buy, do up. That's just lovely. And sell on

for a tidy profit.

75 quid. But it's time to take a look back at the best bits of our lives as

Ford Junketeers.

OK, that's enough of that.

is indicating left.

Taking in the good. Now that is proper cool.

The bad and the ugly.

All for one. And one for all.

This is the Junk and Disorderly retrospective.

Junk and Disorderly.

Hey, well, welcome to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits, eh?

And I'm with Sammy, right? And we are reflecting on past...

Triumphs and Nightmares Auto Jumbling.

Hey, now normally we set up to go to an auto jumble at the end of the show.

Yeah. And at the end of the show we end up at Stratford. But just sometimes,

don't we, we need to go and buy stuff from a jumble right at the top of the

show. We went to, what was it called, Kenley? Cozy Kenley. Cozy Kenley. Yeah.

Right, a very small auto jumble.

Yeah. Yeah?

But often small can be.

perfectly full.

It's £20 a pitch if you're a professional trader.

£15 if you're a punter clearing out your shed. And £2 .50 to get in.

Dogs are free. And when they look like this one, who's going to argue?

The first stall that I'm drawn to is this one, owned by Derek.

I love all the vintage cans and jugs, but strangely enough, my first purchase

a box.

which was probably knocked up last week.

You see, these little things like this, right?

To me, I love them. Just a little bit of polishing up, and you never know, we

might make a few quid on it. Hey, Derek, do you know what I mean?

What are you going to do me for 18 quid? What is it, 18 quid?

Hugh Henry a tenner.

Really? Derek, you're a legend.

For sleds on a slightly bigger scale, there's Phil's stall on the far side of

the field.

OK, in the corner, nice collection of British bikes.

And here they are.

A James, a Norton, a Matchless 500, and a Triumph Trophy.

Yeah, I love the colour of that one.

Mist green, it is.

Yeah, beautiful. Same as the Vauxhall Viva.

He wants eight grand for the Triumph and seven for the Norton, which puts them

slightly out of our range. But he might go lower on the other two.

How much is this one?

Four and a half.

Oh, yeah.

And the James?

£1 ,000.

Neither price is unreasonable, but £4 ,500 on the matchless leaves us no room

make a profit.

Time to take a punt.

Shabby offer of three and a half?

Couldn't it, no. No? So no giveaways there, but no big surprise.

We're just going to take him away.

Take him away, drag him away. And then we'll return.

I like that one.

I know you do. Mate, thank you so much.

Before we get back into the fray, I'm starving.

Toasty time?

Now look, yours is a little more cooked than mine. That makes a smile.

Now look, we need to put a smile on both our faces.

We're talking matchless here. So I think we should give him 3 ,750 for it. I've

got a feeling he's not going to take it.

But we can give it a go.

Finally, we're ready for the big haggle.

Could we even think about it being about 3 .7?

I'm selling it for a customer who's having to give up motorcycling, so I've

to obviously look after his interest.

Could it begin with a 3 at all?

I have spoken to him on the phone, and it would start with a 3.

Right.

But 3 .999.

That's with me not making a penny out of it. That's why I've got to return him

back more, Greg.

Can I throw a curveball in?

Yeah. Can I offer you four and a half with the James?

Oh, blimey, that is a curveball. It is a curveball, isn't it? Yeah. Hey, look, I

think I might have to sit down.

I could do four, seven, fifty.

Four, six with the James?

Go on, then. I'm moving that on.

Yeah, great.

And we are. Are you happy with that? Because a good deal's a fair deal.

Yes. Four, six, the pair.

Now let's talk about that motorcycle haggling, because we pulled the, oh,

come back later card, didn't we? Yeah, and then sometimes it just works to buy

more than you need, you know, to get the profit. It's a bit of a longer game.

Because we were still a little bit toppy on that matchless, weren't we? Even

though you got him down to something beginning with three.

Yeah, I mean, you know, there's never going to be anything, enough profit in

to be worth.

taking it home and messing with it, really. No, but there's profit,

in that James.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

So what do we do, the deal? 4 -6?

Yeah. Something like that. I mean, that's great, you know? Yeah, because if

matchless is good, you can nearly get out of it for that.

Yeah, absolutely.

So we got ourselves a matchless and a James.

Time to do a bit of restoration.

James was a low -cost British brand which specialised in two -stroke...

Today, bikes like this go for around 1 ,400 quid if they're running.

Task number one, take out the plug and check for a spark.

Have you done it? It's foul.

What does that mean? Chicken or duck?

I think grouse.

Sam cleans the plug and cranks the starter.

Oh, sparky. Spark, spark, spark. Oh, thanks very much. So I'm just standing

with no use at all when I was going to get on the kickstart and now you've done

both. Pass me my cup of tea. Yeah, I can probably reach it from here.

Here we go, mate.

Oh, OK, I'll hold it for you.

We're just about to give it a kick when out of the blue, I get a phone call.

Liam! Liam's a young dealer we've bought from before.

Yeah, good, man. How are you getting on? Are you coming over?

Yeah, cool, mate. Well, look, you know the postcode?

Hey, we've just got time to get this started and drink tea.

Come on, Liam!

He's here!

What?

Mate!

Here we go.

Oh my word.

Wait, get up!

He's always first.

Like a rat.

Oh mate, so what are all these? The pumps?

Yeah, it's a big collection of pumps that came from a fork court. There's

six or seven.

There's all stuff at the back.

And we've got this early CH1 here as well. Oh, that's nice. Has he got a talk

it? Yeah, it's in here somewhere.

It's all complete. Just needs a bit of TLC to get it back to where it needs to

be. The Avery Hardall, the H1, is a classic petrol pump.

These go for a grand upwards, fully restored.

How much for the pump?

If it's cash and you just take it away straight away, I'd drop to 200 but

wouldn't go any lower. Right, you've got a deal.

We've got ourselves a CH1 petrol pump for 200 quid, which I think is a fair

price, because much as they say it's mint, it is, and it will be, but it

...seized.

Before we unseize it, there's the small matter of the matchless.

Sam's got a hunch that because it hasn't been used much, the engine may be

clogged with oil or wet -thumped.

When he drains it, though, there isn't actually very much cloggage. So,

unusually, there isn't any oil in the bottom of the engine. I was going to

that doesn't look much. No, but there's none in the tank as well, so my guess is

it's wet -thumped prior to this occasion and someone hasn't bothered topping it

up. Time to oil up and pick that starter.

Yes!

Oh, that sounds lovely.

When Sam checks the oil return, it's all in order.

Yeah, do you want the cap back? Yeah.

OK, so look, right, we've got to decide who's going to ride to James and who's

going to ride the matchless. Yeah. All right.

Because you'll be able to tell everything that's wrong with this bike

short distance, won't you?

I think if it thuds along, it works. If it doesn't and stops, then it don't.

Here's the competition.

What colour are my glasses? If you get this wrong, you're riding the James.

Black.

Wow. No black.

I don't think they are, son.

I think that's tortoiseshell.

All right, you can ride the mattress.

Whoa, what a pair of bike.

This thing whizzes along and keeps up with the mattress.

Sammy looks as though he's having a good time. That mattress does look

beautiful, I have to say.

They were pretty easy restos, the Maxxis and the James, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

amazing. When you come home with two bikes, neither of them give you trouble.

Absolutely amazing.

And then little Liam turned up, right? You've got a van full of gear.

You don't always have to go and find the jumble. Sometimes it finds you.

Isn't it lovely when it comes to you?

Really great.

So what did we buy off Liam? Oh, I'll tell you what we bought off Liam. It was

CH1, wasn't it? Petrol pump.

My favourite.

Are you into it now or not really?

Petrol pumps?

No, not at all. I do like them, but I still have this need.

If I have something old, vintage, it has to work.

It has to serve its original purpose. They're taking up valuable motorcycle

space. No, they're not. They're against the wall.

They are what we call in the trade, folks, decorative items.

If there was nothing there, that's just a bike parked up in a shed.

This now is a decorative theme.

Yeah, I guess, and that's what I don't like.

Decorative scene.

You know, I want to turn the handle and put diesel in the van with that one and

then not have the others.

It's just me.

Okay. Hey, look, that's the joy of life. It takes every kind of person to make a

world, even in our scene of shed dwelling.

Now then, I'll tell you what Sammy does like, is he loves to offer up items

that I know not what you do with them. Now, what have we got here? Give us a

clue. It's a thingy. All right. You work it out. I'd like to mystify you.

Mystify me.

Yeah, that's quite weird. OK, so look, I think it's a hanging ornament that sort

of hangs up somehow.

And it's got, oh, it's got a kind of sort of ruler thing there.

Hey, look, join us after the break and Sammy will enlighten us.

Hey, well, welcome back to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits. Now, before the

Sammy set us a challenge to tell us what this is. Oh, it's a compass.

It's more than a compass. Okay, go on then.

So it's actually for navigation.

Oh,

it's a mirror.

For map reading.

Right. So you set it up like this, and these are some sights.

So you basically...

Look at something on the horizon that you want to know the compass bearing of,

and you can read the compass bearing in the mirror while sighting the item

through a V and a pin very accurately.

So you know which way to go. Have you ever used it properly?

No. OK, I thought as much, but at the same time, what a lovely trinket to own,

eh? Now then, we haven't done a shed yet on this show, so we're heading up to

visit a mate of mine called Neil, and I'll tell you what, he's got some proper

gear.

Neil's mantra, big is better, is much in evidence.

One salad in, armoured car.

I had a Corgi toy one of these. And I've still got it in its box. I'll show you

when we get home if you're interested.

We can compare it to this. Compare and contrast.

And more to Sam's taste.

One comma, two tonne truck.

Sam, obviously, because of his grassroots as a hippie.

is immediately drawn to stuff like that. Why?

Because he could live in it.

It's got this really substantial frame that you could build on, even above the

cab. Look, you could go two floors up with that.

Knowing Neil, the odds of him selling either of these are about the same as me

winning Miss World as a bearded lady.

But touch wood, there could be some smaller items that he might part company

with.

Yes, this is what I remember it to be like.

There are shelves full of trinkets and odd vehicles poking out of corners.

Continuing the retro theme, there's a rather dinky little record player behind

it. Oh, hang on, hey, look.

Oh, look at that.

That's quite sweet.

60s? Yeah. I'll tell you what, though, it's got a stylus on it.

What are we going to do, wipe it? Doesn't matter if it don't go, it's a

for someone.

Yeah, it's worth a go, isn't it?

So a few highlights then, but in a shed like this, it's always worth doing a bit

of burrowing.

Catch.

Sorry.

Don't!

I haven't had a pillow fight like this since Dawn 3 at Eton. More's the pity.

No, can you find somewhere to put it?

This isn't the point of the exercise.

Look. Stop. Enough.

Maybe just one more.

Oh, it's a bug!

It's a bug!

Oh, my God.

It's a Velocet LE.

Yeah. How many cups of tea to get that running? It's an unknown quantity. If we

needed to get involved and take the engine apart, we wouldn't bother. So it

needs to be cheap enough for us to pass it on as a project.

We're actually doing him a favour. Whether he sees it like that, we'll find

shortly. But in another dark corner... Hold the horses, mate.

..I spot something utterly delectable.

Hey, that's a nice neck.

Notwin. I don't know Notwin, but that's a beautiful picture.

Can you check that out?

Yeah. That is an absolutely beautiful Pyramid 5 -gallon can.

Come on, Neil.

Now then, mate.

Underneath the tarpaulin, we have found what looks like a Velociraptor LE in

slight disrepair, Sam.

Yep. Have you ever heard it running?

Not for a long time. Okay. 250 quid.

500.

£300.

£4. £375?

£380.

Yeah, come on, mate.

There is a pyramid can over there.

Yes.

£250.

No, not enough.

£400.

I'll give you £300.

£350.

There you go. £350.

Can I do something else, though, on the deal, even though he's shaken on it?

Right. Could you throw in the gramophone?

Yeah. Thanks for letting us have a round. Not a problem at all. Sam has

volunteered to get the bat out of the house. All right, that's good.

I've got to tell you right, Neil's Place, if we were in the market for

big, there was a plethora.

Yeah, that was the trouble. I mean, armoured scout cars weren't our go -to

week, were they? You can't really go jumbling.

That I'd like to, but... You can invade Oxfordshire, but you can't go jumbling,

can you? No, not really. But luckily, he had that shed with a not -win can in

it, but most especially the gramophone player.

Good collection of pillows.

Good collection of pillows. I like a pillow fight.

I haven't had one since.

Actually, do you know what? Neither do I.

The thing is, you're going to tell me about the velocette, aren't you? You're

going to say to me, oh, it's all about the price.

If you go for a cheap price, then you can make profit.

It's all about the purchase, not about the sale. Which is a real sort of

intellectual babble that basically means, I think it's worthless. I'd

not, but there's nothing else to buy.

Yeah. I think it was time probably to restore that hanging velocette.

What the heck are we going to do with this? Well, I'm not confident we're

actually going to get it running and riding, but I think if we just wipe it

and clean it and bolt it all back together so that its next prospective

can see that it's complete and ready for restoration, I think that's where our

profit margin is.

Music to my ears.

And talking of music, we do have our little dance set.

Are we ready to go bang?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Should we just do it? Go on.

It's running!

Look, it's going round! Look, here.

That's amazing.

Fully restored, mate.

While I go off to make some tea, I leave Sam in charge of the velo.

Unlike traditional bikes, the VeloCert LE did not have a frame.

Instead, it was a monocoque construction with the engine, gearbox and front

suspension attached directly to the bodywork. So Sam's first task is to

the bolts that hold everything together.

Are you getting on there?

Take that teapot!

Why can't you just have normal tea? It is normal tea.

Well, it's not normal. It's normal to you, man, not to humanity, is it? What's

that? Honey in there?

Honey made by monks.

OK.

So we are now going to unseize a velocette collectively.

Yeah. First things first.

Sam, remove the cylinder heads.

We need to clean all this up to get the pistons moving.

I start proceedings with a screwdriver and a wire brush, and then Sam fits a

whizzy wheel to his cordless and gives it what dental hygienists call a deep

clean, a .k .a. ten minutes of torture.

Oh, yeah, look, it's a little bit oily. I can see the clean steel in the ball

already. Once the cylinders have been cleaned, our next job is to loosen the

pistons. The Velocette had two horizontally opposed cylinders.

so we can work on either side of the bike our weapons of choice a variety of

hammers and pieces of wood but unlike the crew from Peaky Blinders the key

is to take it gently working around the edge of the piston rather than whacking

it in the middle after 10 minutes of banging we're ready unlike most bikes

had to be kicked the LE had a hand starter ready?

any water music?

Ooh! Mate, that didn't just go up and down in the bore, it flew.

Weirder than that. Look, the oil pump's working.

You've just added value, massive.

We can say it's got compression and it turns over.

Hey, now, look, right, I think it's time for celebration.

Forget dancing on ice. Forget Strictly. If you want to see two men waltzing on

primetime television, watch this space.

Are you leading?

Yeah, always.

That's a bit weird.

It's a bearded lady.

I've got a better idea.

What's that?

I'm waiting.

I don't do that, man.

Okay, things that go on in a shed, eh?

Happy days!

Come on!

We're mixing it up now.

I don't think either of us...

should even contemplate going on strictly.

Well, they'd never ask us, would they?

Do you know what I mean? I don't think we need to.

Now, look, tell me about this Velo, right, because that is hanging.

There's just no way we could actually rebuild that thing, make it good.

But you knew exactly what to do to add value, which was free it up and

bolt it together so it becomes a relatively complete bike.

Less frightening, I think, is the motto.

What, for the potential new owner?

Yeah, well, if it's too tall a looking task, then there are only one or two

people that would even contemplate it. But if you make it look less

then there's a whole load of people that look at it and think, oh, that's all

right. But, £380, get it so it's unseized, and it's looking vaguely like

Ellie. I just felt sorry for it. I thought it needed a help up.

I have to say, though, you were right, because we did sell it at a later date

with a £95 profit.

Mm -mm. Only just, though. Yeah.

So... If you take into account labour charges, yeah, we lost our shirt, yeah?

But at the same time, you mustn't do that because, obviously, labour charges

you in the shed tinkering and also having the odd dance with a very dear

hey? Fractured. Hey, look, when we come back, right, I think it's auction time.

Hey, welcome back to Jungle Disorderly Best Bits. Now then, be honest with me.

Have I got a little fatter recently?

Yeah. I can't believe you think I've put a lot of weight on. Have I?

No, not really, actually, if I'm honest.

That's weird. You've lost weight because you've removed the majority of your

hair. Yeah.

You seem to have gained strength, though, which is contradictory to...

It's weird, isn't it? Hang on. Was that Sampson and Delilah?

Yeah. What am I then, Delilah?

No.

It's auction time.

So welcome to H .J. Hughes here in Ledbury for a little deceased estate

dispersal sale.

Oh, come on, mate. Trinkets abound. Close the door.

Amazingly, all 860 lots come from one private collection.

There's so much stuff that they've split the auction into two halves.

In one room it's engines, bikes and anything speedway related.

And in the other, where we're headed, it's signs, cans, pumps and assorted

ephemera. Noel obviously had an eye for petrol cans and petroliana, that's what

it's called.

Yeah.

So checkbook's ready, it's auction time.

Without further ado then, straight on we go.

The really big bucks get spent on the petrol pumps, and none more so than the

ROP clock face pump.

I reckon this could be £5 ,000, £6 ,000.

Bidding starts at £2 ,000.

But within a few minutes, it's reached nearly £4 ,000.

Unbelievable. This is the king of petrol pumps, though.

5 ,000. Thank you, sir. 5 ,000 I'm bid. It doesn't take long before it becomes a

duel between the live bidder in the room and a rival on the internet.

Oh, no.

Go on, son.

Good lad.

6 ,000. 6 ,000 pound I'm bid. I told you, man. I told you. 6 grand. 6

grand.

Man.

I'll stick my hand up.

7 ,000.

7 ,000.

Hammer it. I sell them at 7 ,500. Round of applause.

Yay!

How fantastic is that, man? He's got it in the

room for 7 ,500. Good boy.

Hey, man, what a price. Victory one. Victory can in there. 200 pounds.

And if you've ever wondered why I'm so obsessed with petrol cans, just watch

this. A big three, two -gallon petrol can is at £920.

Do you believe that? Look at it.

£940 now.

Could make a grand.

At £1 ,000 only, then there's my bid at £20.

£50, £1 ,050, £1 ,070. This could take all day.

Internet has it at £11 .20.

That's quite incredible, £1 ,120 for a Victory petrol can.

Unbelievable. The trio of rock tins goes for £4 ,200.

They haven't even got any oil in them.

No, I know.

And a glass globe to sit on top of a petrol pump goes for a grand.

This kind of stuff, honestly, it's the antiques of the future.

As for me, I acquire two beef burgers for £4 .50. This is good. At least you

managed to buy something.

A foam compound can for £35.

No idea what foam compound is, but there you go, mate. It's got a bit more.

And finish off by splashing out on a rather lovely sign.

I'm going to go to £300.

No, I don't. £2 .50.

It's only aluminium.

Fill it up now, surely.

Three, good man. A £300 bid. I don't care, it's good.

A £300.

Look at that. Lovely, lovely.

Fantastic. I've been waiting for that and I look mad.

My spiritual home.

£300.

I'm chuffed.

Hi, opener.

Say that again.

Hi, opener.

Look, I have to tell you, right, that was the first auction.

that I kind of realised that automotive... Yeah.

It's going through the roof. Yeah. I think it still is, really, anyway.

Perhaps it's levelled off a little bit. But come on, man.

Was it seven and a half grand for that top face pump?

And that trio of oil cans for 4 ,000 -something.

Yeah. Utterly bonkers. Russian oil products. Yeah, right.

Disposable, single -use, empty.

Amazing. Prices are pretty solid still.

And I'm a great believer that the automotive stuff is genuinely the new

antiques. I mean, a two -gallon petrol can for £1 ,000.

That was restored.

But then again, I think I bought a foam one.

I think 30 quid? Yeah, right. So you've got to know your onions.

Possibly came out of the same factory.

Yeah, but stamped differently, which meant everything.

Hey, with all those petrol pumps going for crazy money, I think probably it's

time to restore that one I bought off Liam.

I think that we could make...

Yeah, plenty of room for profit. Plenty of room. I think we could get up to

seven, eight hundred quid for it. Yep.

It's really rusted solid.

I've brought an arsenal of equipment to attack it with. I love an arsenal.

Eh?

But I think we are going to have to attack it.

The first weapon in Sam's mighty arsenal is this, an oxyacetylene torch.

The flame gets up to 2 ,000 degrees C, hot enough to vaporize rust, and

hopefully loosen this handle.

Ah, this is the next thing, right? Shock treatment, that's what he calls it.

Yep.

Ten bangs later, we have the bolt out, and eventually, handle off.

Look at that!

Oh, Sammy, that is iconic, mate.

It's a good start. I mean, that is properly good, man.

Next to succumb are these distinctly rusty looking bolts.

And while Sam works on the rods holding the head in place, I move on to a

smaller bit of resto.

Now look, you may remember, apart from all the bikes, etc.

we bought at Dejumble, I bought that.

I think it is what they call a decorative item.

Which you could, obviously...

put your stuff in on your workbench, and it would look rather nice.

Just pass the time while he gets away with the old oxyacetylene, you know what

mean?

I'm using a palm sander with 120 grit paper.

Cheap and cheerful, but does the trick perfectamundo.

And with the aid of a few quids worth of beeswax, and a few minutes on the mop,

we have a small transformation.

I think that...

is now a box that is worth some decent money.

Yeah, quality.

How's your petrol pump, lover?

It's getting good. I'm just cleaning up the rods.

They're pretty rough, but they'll have a patina consummate with their age.

Oh, that's nice.

I like a little patina consummate with my age.

Have you seen my patina? Yeah. Take it away, Lovegrove.

The base is covered in rust, which needs to be removed to create a nice smooth

surface. suitable for painting.

Sam whizzy wheels the rods to get them rust free while I polish up the handle

and we get ready to do the rattle can samba.

We need some steel drums or whatever they're called.

It reminds me of that film.

A whim away, a whim, what?

Cocktail.

Cocktail, do you want to sit? I'll show you something.

Hang on, I've got one. Go on then. I'll put the lid on just in case.

Ready? Yeah.

Oh, that was so close, man.

The key to rattle canning is to apply several thin layers and keep the nozzle

moving.

A few hours later, the paint's dry and we've got brass in pocket, or to be more

precise, brass in bubble wrap.

Look, in the evening light.

Yeah, lovely.

That's beautiful.

It's very beautiful.

Over the next hour, it all comes together in a symphony of banging,

clinking, with a spot of licking thrown in for good measure.

Sam avoids the jelly fest by disappearing into the shed to fabricate

that sits on top to hold the nozzle.

He uses quarter -inch steel for the base and five -sixteenths for the horns.

Then once it's been sprayed regulation black, it takes pride of place at the

of the pump, holding the nozzle nicely in position.

Two days ago, this was a piece of rusty junk, but just look at it now.

I think at the jumble it's worth 750 quid.

Well, that's plenty of profit, plenty of room to come down to make it sell.

Yeah. I don't think we should come down from that.

Really? These are auctioned 1 ,200 quid.

All right, great.

Anyway, either way, we have transformed another one.

Restoring petrol pumps is pretty straightforward, but the key is when to

and when to smack.

Yeah. And I'm talking about nuts and bolts.

Basically, if it looks...

rusty and problematic like you might immediately round off the flats of the

then go in with the heat first straight away straight away before no wire brush

even oh yeah a little bit you know it depends how scaly it is but it's not

really going to make any difference because if you heat it up the scaly rust

going to pop off anyway but why do you heat something uh i mean heating does

quite a few different things primarily expands and contracts both pieces so if

you've got a thread that's stuck because it's sat like that for years and

there's corrosion inside the thread then heating and cooling actually frees off

the joint it also softens the material particularly with steels and irons right

so and if it's softer it's gonna not resist your rotation with the spanner

it grows as well if you've got a nut round a bolt There's more material in

nut than there is in the bolt.

So the nut, even though they're both the same material, both expand, the nut

will expand more.

So it will loosen it off. So it's sort of three different things going on at

same time.

I just thought you heated it up and like a hot bath, it relaxes you. No.

No, not at all. You're off and away.

No. And actually only hit something, you know, last resort if it's really stuck.

It stays the same until you've run out of patience and it's the only option

you've got.

I hit a Model A Ford bit of suspension the other day. And broke it? Yeah, broke

it. And managed to get another one?

Yeah, for about, yeah, a lot of money. Yeah. And I wasn't actually trying to

free up the ball joint.

I just basically had a misdemeanor.

It's a little reminder.

Yeah, it was a little reminder of going, Sammy, could you do this?

Yeah, yeah. Rather than, oh, Sammy's not here, I'll give it a go.

You know what I mean? Anyway, look, we were all set with a petrol pump and all

the trinketry ready for sale to go to the iconic Auto Jumble in Stratford.

Hey, well, welcome back to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits. Now then, we're

geared up to go to Stratford Auto Jumble. Now, I have to say, that's on

course, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a really nice event. I've never been to it

before. Really nice people, a really good mix of stuff.

Yeah. And quite good quality stuff all round, but plenty of space.

So although it was busy, it wasn't crowded.

I have to tell you, there was space to breathe, but at the same time there was

enough punters to basically hold some folding.

This, 50 quid. Okay.

That...

75 quid. Hey, we've never done this before.

No, what? We like to share information before we open shop.

Oh, yeah. No, you're right. OK, yeah, no, you're right. OK, mate, so this is a

new tack. I tell you what, today I feel like I'm going to be the Wolf of Wall

Street. Right? I'm taking no deals, OK?

I'm just taking what I ask for an item. All right? You got that?

I think I'm the puppy of Crouch End, if you're the Wolf of Wall Street.

Time to get busy.

Forget the Gee -Gees. The race is on to get our stall under Starter's orders.

My piece de resistance, right?

Remember, we bought this for a tenner, right? And I'm going for a full 35 quid.

That's what they call a jumbler's lot, innit? Yeah. Thank you. There you go,

mate. I feel tea coming on, don't you?

Lovely night. Eh?

That's good. That's the way to do it.

Lovely. Within ten minutes... We got our first sale.

Yeah, go on then.

That sets the pattern for the rest of the morning. I struggle with the big

items, while Sam cleans up with the trinkets.

Makes an offer.

Thank you.

Yeah, fine.

And another one. Thanks, Bradley. Thank you.

I'm asking £2 ,750 for it. For that.

You go and have a think, I'll have a think.

We're just the stall that keeps on giving.

There you go.

Well,

I know you are top salesman at the moment. If you win today, I think in

terms, you might win the spa weekend for two.

Is that a weekend outside a spa shop?

I would prefer that than going to an actual spa for a massage, because

scare me. I've never had one. I just don't want to be alone in a room with

someone with oil.

Actually, hang on. I've spent years in a room with oil with you.

But it's the right kind of oil.

And talking of oils, by lunchtime, there are around 2 ,000 punters enjoying the

sun and shopping.

There are stores specialising in mudguards, speedometers, and even one

where they do very strange things with exhaust pipes.

As for us... We've still got too much stock to breathe easy, but I've got a

feeling that my luck is about to turn.

First domino to fall, the Isle of Man sign.

200 a day. What a change.

I'll take 200.

Well, look, happy days. 200 quid. Yes, I've lost over 100 quid, but at least

I've shifted it.

Next to matchless, how close to 4 .6 can we get it?

4 .1.

4 ,250.

4 ,200.

Hang on, we were shaking before you said that. No, I said 4 ,200. I haven't let

go yet.

Neither have I.

Hang on, wait a second. Can I just stop you both?

You're both mid -shake, right? You're halfway through a deal and I'm the

sandwich. Sorry, sorry. The meat in the sandwich. 4 ,225.

All right, 4 ,225.

Come on, shake him by the hand. Great, okay.

Then, my ten quid box.

I could get you twenty.

In cash.

Go on then.

Twenty quid. Fair deal.

Charlie, are you a gentleman? I am a gentleman, actually, but only during the

day.

Mate, thank you so much. That's fantastic.

And finally, just before we pack up, I get a potential buyer for the pump.

We paid £200 for it and spent £80 on polishing. But what will we get? I do

£900 for it.

You've spent all our money today.

Well, I've spent all his money today. I'm thinking probably around £500.

I would do it for £600.

You have to do a counter offer now. If you deliver it for £550, I think we'd

have a deal.

Go on, then.

Go on, then.

That's great, honestly.

Thank you so much.

Result on the matchless. Yeah, really great. I seem to remember correctly.

I mean, it means the James at that point we've still got, but it only stands

within £375.

I'm sure we did that later on. Even I could have sold it for more than £375.

What was that with that bloke?

When he went 4 -2 -50, hand in, 4 -2.

It's a funny old trick, isn't it? Yeah, and then, well, he got 25 quid off,

didn't he? Because we eventually went, oh, well, 4 -2 -2 -5 then. That's just

you being soft.

People can see it in your eyes.

Actually, talking about soft, I had a bit of an issue with that Isle of Man

sign, didn't I?

Yeah, I was shouting in your ear, it's aluminium, don't buy that.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. Let me go to 300.

No, I don't.

250.

It's only aluminium.

Fill it up now, surely.

Three, good man. A £300 bit.

It's just a bit of aluminium printed. It's probably from the 90s.

But I actually sold it for 200.

even though I've bought it for 300.

That's 100 pounds. I was just about to admit to you that I've made a

error. Oh, I'm very aware of it.

Unlike the petrol pump. Now, look. Yeah. Those petrol pumps, those CH1s, still

to this day, they can go for between 1 ,250 and 1 ,600 quid. Yeah. Why did I

sell it for 550 there?

Because it was profit.

It was 350 quid profit.

Yeah. It was the end of the day. I didn't want to take it home.

350, smash, in the skyrocket, happy days.

Long may it continue. You promised me one thing. Will you at least come on one

jumble? Because I know you're in the shed restoring all the time now.

I haven't been to many lately.

No, I know. Please come to some again with me sometime one day, please.

Yeah, all right. Yeah, all right. Hey, look, please join us again for next

season where we will be, well, me, Alan and Guy, and we might be able to coach

him into coming to a few more junk and disorderlies.