Original subtitles

Where the agri -can was?

Yeah. Oh, God. Graham says he's got a confession.

You said get 120 for it.

So I got one 20 -pound note.

So we are down 70 quid. Thanks. Where's the 20 quid?

In a caftan.

My name is Henry Cole, and I'm a junkaholic.

Better get wheeling and dealing.

Together with me three mates, top restorers, Alan Milliard. Yes!

Guy Willison. I'm like a coiled spring.

And Sam Lovegrove.

We've been rummaging our way through Britain's sheds. Wow.

Farm sales, auctions and jumbles for automotive treasures.

Oh, my Lord, look at that.

To buy, do up. That's just lovely.

And sell on for a tidy profit.

75 quid.

But it's time to take a look back at the best bits of our lives as the four

junketeers. Okay, that's enough of that.

Is indicating less.

Taking in the good. Now that is proper cool.

The bad and the ugly.

All for one and one for all.

This is the Junk and Disorderly retrospective.

Junk and Disorderly.

Hey, well, welcome to Junk and Disorderly, our very best bits.

And me and Sammy are reminiscing, aren't we, mate, eh?

Trying to.

Actually, hang on a second.

It's a proper bumper show. Why?

Because we start off at Stafford Motorcycle Show.

Certainly, you know, the ground zero of exploration into the world of two

-wheeled fun. I tell you, when you're going to go to a show like that to buy

some trinketry...

right, or stuff generally, you're probably holding some serious folding.

thing is, is you mustn't peak early, right? That's all I know.

Done it the other way, though.

You know, held off till the end and then spent the whole day buying nothing. Got

home disappointed.

But there's also the auction.

The auction's fantastic. I mean, it's just...

It's just cherry -picking for me, that auction. There's such good vintage kit.

If you want a Vincent, you want a Brough, you want a Rudge, you want a

all there. OK Supremes, Japsy, Twins Galore. Or you could miss all of those

opportunities and land yourself with something pointless.

Behave yourself.

Something that you could buy, you know, round the corner from here right now.

Just behave.

Some of us have to learn.

The Stafford Classic Mechanics Show, to give it its full name, is one of the

highlights of the autumn calendar.

The location, Beanley Hall, is the famous concert venue that has hosted

from Bob Marley to Motorhead. But for two days every October, the only music

you'll hear is the buzz of excitement and the drumbeat of profit.

Right, auction.

Let's go and have a quick rummage. We've got about...

40 minutes before it starts, all right? And I think it's this way. It was last

year anyway. This way? Yeah.

We want to have a quick gander around the goodies before the auction starts,

we can't quite remember where it is.

I always thought it was in that corner, and someone says that. We're going, it's

the auction that way.

Through there. Far corner. Well, they've moved it over there.

As PR, you should know where the auction is. I do, yes.

Just lead on, Cosmic. Okay, this way.

Come on, Cosmic Race.

Hey.

This is the depressurising zone.

It's like, all right, mate. It's like you're all excited to go into the

to just spend proper wedge, but you come in here and you go, have I really, am I

really going to go and do that?

And then you keep walking through the depressurised zone and you realise, yes,

am going to blow my wad. Come on.

After the pandemonium of the exhibition hall, it's bliss to take a little time

to look around the bike.

We don't have that much money to spend, but it's great to do a little window

shopping.

That is a beautiful thing, Simon.

This is a 1926 Excelsior, starting price, three and a half grand.

Next door, there's an Indian Scout, and in the next row, a glorious Brough

Superior.

Hang on.

You always must do this before a Brough Superior.

OK. The 680 Brough. So overhead valve is the sort of junior version of the

SS100, basically. Very nice. Castle forks, rigid frame.

If you haven't heard of Brough Superior, they were the Rolls Royce of

motorcycles.

They command unbelievably huge prices.

But I have to tell you...

I believe they're worth every penny.

This one has the estimate of 60 ,000 to 80 ,000, Samuel. Will you be bidding?

No, not today.

I really want to bid.

But rather than continuing to talk balls, time to sit down and get ready to

start bidding.

We lose the Excelsior, which goes for 3 ,200, but get ready to bid on the

Indian. 5 ,000 here.

5 ,800. 6 ,000.

No, no, no.

8 ,500. 8 ,000 and he's going to have a little... No chance.

After that, I keep a close eye on Sam and our auction number.

Where's the thing?

Thank you very much.

I don't need to tell him your number till the end if I handle, do I?

OK, now we're going to see how the broth goes.

OK.

The asking price is between £60 ,000 and £80 ,000.

£50 ,000. £50 ,000.

£55 ,000. £60 ,000.

£65 ,000.

£70 ,000.

£75 ,000.

£80 ,000.

£82 ,000 if it helps you.

Last job.

You're all done.

I can see a flicker of interest from the TV guys down there.

Thank you. I thought he was looking up. He was.

For us, it's frustration all the way.

I bid on a Tiger 100.

A Yamaha.

And a Kawasaki.

Forget none of them.

Come on, Henry, buy something.

And then the red mist descends, or to be more precise, the red Honda arrives.

These VFR 750s are nice, but they leave me cold. But not when I've got

auction fever.

Oh, 500 quid. 500, 500,

600,

700,

700. That's a lot of motorcycle for your money. I'm going to have a few. 900.

Oh, God. 900.

I'm going for a grey.

It's a VFR 750, and we might just own it.

Me?

That's kind of funny.

Okay, we've gone and bought something that we really didn't want. So we've

to Stafford Classic Motorcycle Auction to watch Bruss and Vincent, some

beautiful pre -wall kit, and buy some 90s Honda.

Yeah, that's about the size of it.

It should be noted that there is minor damage to the fairing on both sides.

And that the right side footrest and footrest hanger has been snapped off.

So it's been thrown down the road.

Both sides. You didn't even read the description.

No, didn't even read the description.

We've got a bite now, so we can look round at the rest of the show, but it's

long before the regrets start to kick in.

I'm just coming down off my total disaster at the auction. Oh, great.

Sam isn't talking to me, he's just talking to Ray.

Sammy,

have you forgiven me or not?

We'll have to think about that next week, I'm not really sure.

In total, there are some 800 stalls at Stafford fighting for the attention of 3

,500 punters.

Distractions are plenty if Sam wouldn't stop talking about the Honda.

I went to the desk and discovered it doesn't have a key.

What? I went to the desk.

That noise was your brain just working that out. It hasn't got a key.

What do you mean it hasn't got a key? There is no key.

For the bike that we've just bought? That's correct.

I don't know what you do about a lack of a key for a bike like that.

I'm hoping it hasn't got an immobiliser linked to the key. It's a bit old for

that.

Anyway, maybe we'll find an ignition barrel. Let's have a look.

The only way to rescue the situation is of course to buy something else.

Then nearby we spot a BSA C15.

Are you going to insist we make you an offer?

I've got 16 .50 on it, but I would take more.

Well,

what were you thinking?

Go on, Sammy. I was probably thinking 800 quid. Oh, no, sir. 12 .50. 12

.50, okay.

V5 transferable number.

900 quid?

Oh, no, no, no. 11 .50.

Grand?

50. Grand.

No, can't go to grand.

Oh, it's 1 ,025.

You're talking cash.

Cash money.

Oh, yeah.

You know it makes sense, eh?

1 ,025, and we've got ourselves something we weren't expecting, which

sums up today.

Yep. A lovely C15.

Why? Have you learned now?

At all?

The one thing I would say is that at my venerable age, yeah, to learn something

is a very good thing.

Okay,

it's just, I did it the hard way.

Also, I think we'd been outbid on a few things and we were just feeling too poor

to be at that market. We were too poor, that's for definite.

But at the same time, buying that Honda VFR was a very good way of becoming

poorer.

So the motto of the story, right, is read the description, look at the bike

first before you start bidding.

And both of those things...

I didn't do... Oh, it's a total disaster.

It got worse, though, didn't it, with the VFR?

It wasn't going to get better, was it? No. They haven't got any keys.

Did it say that in the brochure as well?

Probably. I don't know. I never get involved with motorcycles that have

They're way too new.

Yeah, all right.

But... Every cloud has, I was going to say a silver lining, but it wasn't. It

was sort of more pewter, yeah? Because we did find a BSA C15, didn't we? Yeah,

and I thought that was a cracking deal.

Anyway, we got ourselves a VFR 750 that we really didn't want.

We got ourselves a C15 that could be nice, but best to get on and restoring

after the break.

Hey, welcome back to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits.

Well, we have just bought a VFR 750 Honda and

a, well, this is nice, and a BFA 250 C15.

What do you call it?

Buyer's remorse.

Is that what you call it?

Strangely, actually, there's been items over the years or vehicles over the

years that I've absolutely thought I'm going to have buyer's remorse.

with but actually I've sort of centered myself got myself under control with a

cup of tea and realized actually nah it's all right well you just you've got

brush yourself off and crack on because I mean you could and also you know my

great belief is you can always work yourself out of any trouble which

might be the case uh with this situation uh the problem is is that it has gone

down the road on both sides lightly like Yeah, I know, but still, it's not that

likely. Anyway, look, let the restorations begin.

Can I blame you at all or not? Not really, because you read the description

the catalogue, after bidding. Yeah, yeah, exactly. We said it basically,

everything slapped off. Thrown down the road twice.

On both sides.

Let me tell you the issue. Come round here, look.

The foot peg hanger is hanging.

The indicator doesn't.

And the left hand mushroom is crushed into the frame.

The other thing is, because there isn't a key, we can't take the seat off.

We can't free up the steering lock.

And we're in a lot of trouble. But, go on, tell me something interesting.

I can tell you something pleasant.

I've had a closer inspection of the whole machine.

The sprockets are good. The chains are good. It's got a full -size number

It's got 28 ,000 miles on the clock.

Other than being thrown down the road twice, it actually was a very nice

condition motorcycle before those events.

See, I can see through the surface detritus to actually a quality bike. I

see it, man. I've got it teleconnected. No, no. All I'm saying is if we work

hard, we can break even.

The BSA has also seen better days.

But it's a much more saleable bike. I really like this. Look, we're going to

the C15 going and that, shall we call it, work in progress.

Next day, we start on the BSA.

I couldn't find a container for the water, so I'm using your tea mug.

While Sam deals with the wiring loom, my first task... It's to de -rust the

pipe.

How bad is it? Well, it's been partially rewired one wire at a time. It's always

a worry if it's one wire at a time. Yeah, it is a little bit. But I think

be all right. I think it's all here.

What do you call that?

Multimeter.

Buy a chocolate.

Got any ideas of you?

I was going to call it an altimeter.

That'll do. It's quite high up at the moment. You could set it down a little

lower.

I did know, please.

Okay. Mobile phone. Look, it's your mum. Pick it up.

Hello? Actually, my mum, darling, she's 92 and she can't hear anything. So you

go on the phone and you go, Hello?

Mother, it's your son, Henry.

I don't want any cake.

You always want some cake. All right, I'll have six, six rock cakes for

I'm not gardening!

Yeah, you are. Always.

My darling mother, she's as deaf as a post. And for the last ten years, I've

said, why don't we just go down to Swindon and get the old hearing aids in?

Oh, darling, I don't get on with those.

You what?

I don't get on with those!

Oh, we love her, man. 92 and she's still rocking.

Sam sorts the front light, the back light, and we even manage to get a

And then, while I carry on polishing, Sam sorts out a dent.

Oh my lord, that's it!

And drains the oil out of the thumb.

There we are.

And then once he's reconnected the fuel line and tickled the carb, he climbs

aboard and gets ready to give it a kick.

Here we go, that's it.

No.

We know it's got a spark, so we're in with a shout, eh?

Have you tickled? Have you? Oh.

Oh, oh.

The right kind of noise, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh, God!

What's that?

Oh, my God, it runs!

I'll open the door!

Yes!

Oh yeah, that's good.

Hey look!

We might have actually come up trumps, huh?

The VFR is a distant memory!

Whoosh! Gone!

Let's, um, order an ammeter for it, because that's broken.

Coming up.

Put a proper battery in it. Coming up.

Bit more cleaning.

Coming up.

Then give it a test ride.

Oh, yeah.

Coming up.

That's it, mate. We're flying.

I can feel you holding on with your thighs. I'm just diluting a magpie.

You have to spit as well with a magpie.

Ready?

Sorry, did it get you? You can't.

That was a real giggle then. We've got ourselves a running and riding C15,

haven't we?

Now the weather, right, it might have been slightly inclement, but I tell you

what, the bike hasn't, has it? Neither are our moods after that. Can I lower

tone slightly?

Yeah.

750 Honda?

The Honda is over at bike builder Alan Milliard's workshop.

Alan's first task is to remove the footrest and then mend the fracture.

Because it's aluminium, he needs to use a specialist TIG welder.

Then he welds the lug onto the frame that keeps the footrest in place.

He uses a rotary wire brush to neaten up the edges, and then reattaches the peg

almost as new.

All that remains is for me to do my duty.

The auctioneers found the keys, and Sam fitted a new brake lever and a battery.

So I've got no excuse but to ride our Honda VFR.

Tomorrow, I've booked a Bon Jovi Perm, a peroxide wash, and I'm going to rip the

buttons off all my shirts. But today, I'm just rocking.

OK, so look, the key to restorations...

is find the right man for the job now let's be honest okay you love a vintage

british motorcycle or a classic don't you absolutely yeah you're not so

to the slightly modern japanese stuff no tell me about that i like to have a

workshop equipped to make everything for the vehicle i'm working on you know i

can scratch build a rough replica because i have all the Tools, you know,

lathe, the milling machine, the oxytocin, the brazing gear. I don't TIG

I don't plastic repair.

I just, I'm not interested.

But I'll tell you who does, and obviously that is the icon that is, Alan

Milliard. Now, I have to tell you, between the two of you, right, I have,

tea drinker, the best of both worlds. You've got all the bases covered there.

I've got all the bases covered.

Pre -war stuff, Brough Superior, even post -war British, whatever, Sammy.

Right, anything ludicrously modern.

Yep, mill ward. Fine.

It's this time of the show where Sammy brings along a trinket. You work it out.

OK, right, so it basically looks like a little miniature lathe. OK, so if you've

got any idea of what that could be for, now's your time to think about it, and

we will tell you, or enlighten you, after the break.

Hey, welcome back to Young and Disorderly, very best bits. I'm still

this contraption and I have no idea.

It looks like a mini lathe. Do you want a clue?

Yeah, go on.

It's to make something that all of us use and have used in

our area of interest, always.

on a motorcycle go on then tell us seriously mate what is it for for making

cables no it's a spoke rolling tool ah okay so it actually forms the threads on

spokes so the spoke clamps in through here as a blank with no thread on the

yeah and these little toothed rollers that rotate as you turn it and clamp in

you turn this Wow, okay.

Forcing the thread to form out of the material rather than cutting it. So as

forms, it's work -hardened as it goes.

Wow, how cool is that? Yeah. Do you still use that or not?

Not this one.

But others? I've got a larger one, you know, with various heads that's sort of

bit more permanent on the bench.

So that would be for bicycles and small motorbikes?

Yeah, bicycles and motorcycles, yeah. And the only way to do the job properly,

but you can do it at home with just one of these.

Yeah. When does that date from?

actually quite hard to date because well this one actually looks like it's the

sort of mazak type material it's probably from the 1950s or 60s all right

it's actually quite late i was going to say pre -war yeah but would have looked

they may have made exactly the same item from the 30s to the 80s or 90s of

course bicycle as well as this one's quite small probably

uh heavy bicycle you know cycle and light motorcycle oh okay all right but

every day's a school day with sam lovegrove but it doesn't get away from

fact we need some more trinketry

so

we're off half an hour to a math a stash of items to bid on first pick a french

oil tin and a clutch of jugs all right Okay, so look, first corner, first dibs.

The trick for us is going to be finding items we can add value to.

The imperfect that we can make perfect.

I've seen an opportunity.

There are two things that are good about that.

Yeah. It's very rare and very valuable, only it's not because it's mashed to

pieces. I mean, that has been properly run over, look, my nose, as a

Probably can't make it amazing, but it can make it nearly there and clean it up

a bit. For the right price.

Yeah. But, you know, the uplift is in our ability of, the uplift is in my

ability to be able to straighten that.

Did you just correct that because it was our ability?

My ability is to make tea. Your ability is to bring us here and pay.

As our shed search continues, the garden table starts to groan with trinkets.

That is a hall, Matt, isn't it? Yeah, it's not bad.

And it hasn't come out of a hall, it's come out of a shed. Talking of sheds,

there's one more to go.

Stuart's second shed is just as busy, and straight away I spot a personal

purchase for me new gap.

Don't tell Sam.

Oh, look at that.

No, it's beautiful.

Actually, look, I know we're going to do a pile -up, but I've got to get him

into that.

Oh, God.

Is that for sale or not?

£2 .75.

£2 .25?

Can we split it at £2 .50?

After that, we choose one more item.

I mean, oil dispenser or grease dispenser? Gearbox oil, I think. Do you

Yeah. Before we head outside for the big haggle.

Now, Stuart.

Yes. Oh, that's nice, like that.

Hey.

We've got ourselves a little stash there.

How about 300?

A lot.

I couldn't do 300.

325?

I'd do 375.

350.

Thank you very much. Happy days.

Stuart, are you sure you're happy with that? Absolutely happy. Because as we

always say, a good deal is a fair deal. And I think there's a little bit of

roomage for us, isn't there?

Back at the ranch, we've got to sort out the stuff we got from Stuart's shed.

Hey, look, before we go any further, though... Did you do anything? I'm just

making a start, yeah. OK.

Here we go.

That's one that's less flattened, yes.

Now then, this one is quite valuable. You know, that's 150

to 200 quid's worth of rare can.

Am I right in saying they're nearly 300 quid if they're not dented at all? Oh,

absolutely, yeah. This, on the other hand, may be slightly less than that,

Sam Lovegrove is now going to show us how to undent a can.

Anything Sam can do.

Or maybe not quite.

Okay, that's enough of that.

With the can partially inflated, next Sam uses a steel rod to ease the dents

from the inside.

I'm hoping... My God, that's incredible.

Here we go, look.

It's probably been sitting there, right, underneath the car tar, going, please,

please. Sam Lovegrove, make me inflate again. Make me whole.

Next, he takes a panel beater's hammer to gently reinforce the shape. I,

meanwhile, get on with a much more specialist task of polishing the

tin we got at Stuart's. And hey, presto, we have two much -revived trinkets.

So, look, Stuart Inver.

One of the finest collections of automotive... Yeah, I think I'd call it

richest collection, and not financially. It's just got depth. The more you look,

the more you see, and it just... It's a sweet shot for us, isn't it? Yeah. The

trouble is that parts of it are like Harrods.

You know?

But I'll tell you what. Yeah, again, what a great example for you especially,

okay? So he bought some cans, one of which was that little tiny shell can,

wasn't it? The matchstick man.

Yeah.

and getting it sorted out. I mean, that's what it's all about, about adding

value, isn't it? Yeah, and lovely with that, because it didn't cost any

materials. No. So it's just a case of straightening it out. But again, it's

talent, right? Which only comes from practice.

Yeah, because, I mean, if I got a dolly in... Yeah? Yeah. I was trying to

straighten that shell can out.

Yeah. It's going to go through, isn't it? That's what I did the first five

times. Yeah. The key is, yes, give it a go, but give it a go within your

limitations, perhaps.

You know, the trouble with him, right, is you give him a little oil can or

petrol can, right, to sort out, and he sorts that out no problem because he's

got the talent for that.

But even if you give him something a bit bigger, he's right there with the

talent as well.

We're just back from the Bristol car auction.

We were outbid on several items.

But ultimately came up trumps with a Daimler 250

V8, which we managed to get for 5 ,800 plus commission.

I'm in love.

OK? For the first time, man, we've got ourselves something that I think is

gorge.

Everyone's going to fall in love with it. We can sell this really easily. But

hasn't been driven properly in, look at the paperwork, since 2016.

Doesn't it? I can see the tyres are a bit squidgy.

Fired it up to get it off the trailer, only to discover, have you heard the

exhaust? Yeah, there is a pipe. There is an exhaust pipe with it with two mounts

broken off. But I think all that's happened is someone sort of skagged it

trailer. Oh, what, loading it for the auction or something? Yeah, so they've

just pulled one side off it.

There are also several boxes worth of spares and odds and ends that we found

the boot.

I think we just need to approach it slightly carefully. I'm aware that its

owner gave up driving in old age, and he was fastidious about this car.

The 250 V8 was basically a Mark II Jaguar with a powerful Daimler engine.

Though sold as a refined bank manager's car, its speed and manoeuvrability made

it equally popular with bank robbers.

Amazing handling, excellent braking, capable of 120 miles an hour. And also,

get your sawn -offs in here quite easily, couldn't you? And you've got a

for the bullion. Yeah, yeah.

Nice, mate.

Before we get on the road, though, we do have to do a little work.

First, Sam jacks up the car and props it up with axle stands so he can operate

underneath.

Then he remakes the exhaust bracket and fits them onto the pipe.

While I swap the spats.

Not my shoes, but the rear wheel covers on the Daimler.

Little bit of advice.

Do the other one first.

Well, I knew that.

That's it.

There you go, we're in. I've done that one.

Nice. As well as all the spares, there's a big pile of documents on the back

seat, including both the bill of sale and old MOTs.

Recorded mileage 80 ,000 in 1991, which is unusual because it's got 74 ,000 on

it now.

Is that a haircut?

Well, since there are four speedometers with it. Right, yeah, so they've all

four of them done 70 ,000 miles, don't they?

The exhaust is an easy fix.

So I let Sam get on with it.

First, he mounts it using silicon sealant.

Oh, that's better. Oh, yes, baby.

Then, after a quick test, he goes back under to weld up a few troublesome leaks

on the front pipe.

Oh, look at the state of your overalls, honestly.

Really, and you're damp as well.

It's all sorted.

Next day, Sam moves on to the carburettors.

I'll make Anna Milliard come round for tea.

And they're talking carburettors.

Allowing a little more air and fuel through.

Thanks, mate. I thought I'd get some enjoyment out of our tea party.

Listen, you.

It makes all the difference. When you're going up the road and it purrs like a

beauty, it's because of this.

Good point well made.

The moment has come to give our new motor a little outing.

I said serious.

We're off in the Daimler for a test ride.

Yeah. Looking at the state of you, we're going to the post office, right?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, we're going to the post office. Trouble is, Janet will probably

me.

It

was

good from far, but was it far from good? How do you know?

Worst thing about those cars is rot. And rot hidden by filler. They call one bit

the crow's feet, which are under the front panel. The bumpers all... anchor

if you look underneath and they're brand new you know it's been quite rotten if

you look underneath and they're original and intact you've got a good one see

that car didn't look rusty but i needed to work out how much filler it might

have in it yeah i mean it wasn't too bad was it no it was okay also the edge of

the boot lid and you can open the boot and look in behind it have a quick look

and the lip below and those daimler engines are quite complicated too So,

know, quick look to see the head go and the head gaff gets go.

And, you know, has it been apart? Has it been apart lately?

Was it put together nicely?

It looked worse than it was at the auction, basically, exhaust off it and

like that. Yeah, you did a lot of work on it. I think I probably had about

cups of tea.

Well, we didn't buy much for it, I don't think. I think pretty much everything

we used was in the vehicle. Didn't we buy that for, yeah, five, eight plus

commissions? Yeah.

Sold it for eight grand, happy days.

And we were bank robbers in between.

We enjoyed the drive.

So having a stocking over your head, hopefully the burglary wouldn't last

long, because it was quite uncomfortable.

It paired your enjoyment of passenger riding, for sure. It does, and, you

you can't drink tea, really. I mean, hey, look, when we come back, we're

jumbling, hey, and we're jumbling at Normus Newark.

Drunk and disorderly.

Hey, welcome back to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits. Now then, let's talk about

Normus Newark. You know, Newark is like 50 % jumble, 50 % car boot.

It's really varied, which has its pluses and its minuses. It's not so

interesting for me as a... potential buyer no no of course not it's really

only auto jumble i know that isn't attached to a big show or something

families go so you can sell lovely little trinkets little tin cans all that

of caper and also with it being a bit more car booty type you never know what

someone's going to drag out the loft and bring along absolutely and also if it

is sort of car booty and someone brings a motorbike i'm not quite sure what it

is yeah and your knowledge kicks in and you might have a nice little earner

Now here we are, the biggest, baddest auto jumble in the east of England.

Well, welcome to Newark. Cool, we're a bit late, but already the glorious

punters are here. Hey, look, they're queuing up for our stuff. I don't know

Is this all for charity, then?

Uh, yeah, it's the, uh, the Henry Cole money -wasting fund.

First bite, the shell tin and the castrol box set from Stuart Imbers. 1

1 .30.

Go on, son.

You're all right, mate. Lovely jubbly.

After that, the punters just keep on coming and trading is brisk.

Mate, 20. There you go. Look. Here you are. Thank you so much, mate.

Sam gets 65 for two cans and the castrol flask. Yay, great.

and I bid into a death stare haggle for a metal sign.

100 quid cash in your hand.

Oh, my God, look at his eyes. All right.

You gave up waiting.

I gave up. Sometimes when someone looks at you in the eyes, you know it's 100

quid and that's it.

The small stuff goes first, but it's not long before we get a bid on the BSA.

We paid £1 ,025 for it, but we're hoping for a lot more.

What's the offer? £12 .50.

It's a little on the light side, I've set £15.

Yeah, £12 .50 is a little light.

What do we do, £14 .50?

I've got to do three days rubbing on it to get £15 for it.

£14 .50.

We'll see if they come back, but I'm not too worried.

Normus knew it happens once a month, and it regularly pulls in over 4 ,000

punters. The focus is on automotive, both cars and bikes, but you get

here from the mundane to the divine.

And God willing, our BSA fans are back, and it looks as if they're going to make

a better offer.

OK, right, now, look, right, Sammy's going to fire it up. This is often where

things can go slightly wrong, but with this T15, it won't.

Here we go. It's going to be fine.

Mate, I mean...

Great, now look, right, this guy's hustling hard.

We really can't go below 1 ,400. Now it runs, first kick, we might be in with a

shout. These are hard bargainers, mate, hard bargainers.

He's offering 1 ,350.

No, I think it's got to be 1 ,400.

I think it'll make more than that later in the day.

I'm going to be unusually confident on this occasion.

Sure? Yeah.

I'll go now.

I'm just thinking, bird in the hand, mate. Shut up and take his money.

£13 .75.

Yeah, all right. Shall we try it? Yeah, go on.

£13 .75.

Come on, mate.

All right. £13 .50.

What? Is he kidding?

£13 .75. £13 .75. £13 .50. Come on, £13 .50. £13 .60, come on. We've come right

down. Let's do it. That's fair enough.

£13 .50.

You're pushing off. No, I say we keep it.

Oh, God, come on.

I'll tell you what, lawyers are worse than this. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, you're not hallucinating. That is a large shark in the background.

How appropriate.

Oh, go on then.

Let's do it. OK, we've agreed because these guys are proper, proper hardcore

hagglers. £13 .50.

One BSA down, one Honda to go.

Sam starts it up and pulls in the punters. But getting from polite

interest to making our money back is a step too far.

Our two French bikes, however, have their day in the sun.

Yeah, I tell you what, for a bit of luck, you can have all of the tens out

there. That's 100%. Have you done a deal? Have you? We need to make

270 on the Polizia to break even, but that's a big ask, especially with the

Newark Mafia. I do want three for it, but 250 it is.

I can't go any lower, I'm so sorry. Two cash now, take it away.

Are you all involved together?

If I can stroke the dog, two, two, five.

Two, twenty.

Go on. Only the dog, though. Go on, then. Two, twenty.

Only the dog. Here, come on. Come and have a stroke for a fiver. You're a good

one. All right, two, twenty. There you go, mate.

After all that big stuff, we get a serious rush on the smaller items.

For the next hour, we continue to press the flesh and stash the cash.

That's a good deal.

Until finally our table is almost there, and we're ready to count our chickens.

Amazing, isn't it? No, wait, sir. You haven't seen my back pocket.

Right, I'd better count this up.

Trade was brick.

Mate, was it brisk? Yeah, really good. But it was difficult in some areas,

mainly the bigger stuff, wasn't it?

Well, you know, you're slightly up north. People are harder at the

They're a bit better at it, aren't they? That C15, blimey, O 'Reilly. Yeah. I

mean, they were hardcore, man. And you get people like that every so often.

Do you know what's interesting, OK, is that there are little phrases that mean,

I'm not interested, I'm going away, but I haven't got the guts to tell you. Oh,

I might come back later.

I'll just have a think about it.

But I'm too embarrassed to tell you that I'm walking away.

Yes. But those guys walked away, but then they came back.

That's probably because they had money left, haven't bought anything else. Oh,

do you think? I thought it might have been part of the plan.

Oh, that as well. Same with us. You know, actually, when we bought that BSA,

did exactly the same.

You know, end of the day. Oh, yeah. We did.

There you go.

I'm not interested.

And the other belter, right, is, oh, can I help?

Oh, I'm just browsing.

That's the other corker. It's like it's a store.

Yeah, it is. But we still got out of it with a profit, so it's fine. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, we sneaked a profit.

Yeah. You can't say that for the VFR Honda.

No. Have you still got it? No, I haven't. It has gone.

I might have buried it.

No, it has gone, but I think it took a while. Now, there's a typical example

there with Newark that trinkets fly off the shelf or fly out of the box, should

we say. Yeah, it was that day that we learnt that we could sell an endless

amount of puncture repair kits and stuff people could put on the mantelpiece at

home. Right, I think we took about three grand that day, but we made 685 quid

profit. If you look at that, that's what, 20 % margin?

Yeah, but, you know, it's a hobby game.

Of course it is. You know, just when you're trying to improve what you've got

your own pot.

Exactly. For your own enjoyment, for your own collection.

Exactly, mate. You know, so I think if you try to pay bills and insure the...

car and pay your overhead.

It's difficult, man. Not really going to work. It's really difficult.

All I do know is that as a hobby, wow, I think it's one of the best. Anyway,

look, that's about it for this time.

Join us again very shortly, I'm sure, for some more junk and disorderly best

bits.

... ...