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1
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{\an8}- [Nikki] Okay.
- [Molly chuckles]
2
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,638
{\an8}[both laughing]
3
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,141
{\an8}[Nikki] Yeah.
4
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,612
Okay. Okay.
5
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,864
After you talk to her,
I will discuss some options.
6
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,616
Okay. Are you, uh--
7
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,742
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?
8
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:35,827
It's my job.
9
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[sniffles] I'll need a second.
10
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:51,592
[laughing]
11
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,221
- [Nikki] Oh, man.
- [Molly screams] He can talk.
12
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,556
- Yeah.
- [nurse] Hi.
13
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:58,724
- Hi.
- Hi.
14
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,643
[both chuckle]
15
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:01,727
I'm Amy.
16
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,230
- Hi. Sorry.
- Hi.
17
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,732
Well, now that Dr. Pankowitz
has talked to you,
18
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,778
I'm here to talk to you about hospice.
19
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,370
What do you mean a hospice?
20
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:25,167
Has Dr. Pankowitz... [stammers]
21
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,253
Shoot.
22
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,422
Eh, shoot, shoot. Um--
23
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,966
You know what? Don't worry about it.
24
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,884
I'm gonna come back later. How about that?
25
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,219
[door opens]
26
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,014
[Amy] Hi. There was
a little misunderstanding and,
27
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,599
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, I boned this.
28
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,560
Oh, Jesus, Amy!
29
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,895
Molly. Hey.
30
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,064
I'm so sorry you found out this way.
31
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,734
Hi.
32
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,736
Hi, Molly.
33
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,987
[whispering] Dr. P.
34
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:56,240
Uh, we got the results
from the lumbar puncture,
35
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,785
and they showed that the cancer has spread
36
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,872
to the lining of your spinal cord
and your brain.
37
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:03,957
[Molly exhales]
38
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:05,709
So you failed?
39
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,335
You said five years.
40
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,961
- I didn't.
- He didn't.
41
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,923
I think we're looking at a few weeks
to a few months.
42
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,301
But we could still do
another round of chemotherapy.
43
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,053
We could do... We could do...
44
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,765
What the fuck... Immunotherapy.
45
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,476
If that's what you want.
46
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:28,940
I ca... I can't do that.
47
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,277
Okay.
48
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,115
- Okay?
- Yeah.
49
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,746
I can come back at better time.
50
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,292
Well, fuck, Amy.
51
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,211
Now we need you.
52
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,060
Goodbye, Jerry. Thank you.
53
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,270
Bye, Molly.
54
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,105
- Bye, Nikki.
- See you around.
55
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,190
Yeah.
56
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,429
Ooh, welcome.
57
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,640
Let me know
if I can help you with anything.
58
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,226
You gals like puzzles? Or books?
59
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,479
I got so many art supplies.
60
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,647
Hey, you can put anything
on the walls too.
61
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,232
Just don't drill into 'em.
62
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,860
[chuckles] Yeah.
We didn't bring a drill to hospice.
63
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,112
Oh, you'd be surprised.
64
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,656
You'd be surprised.
65
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,701
[Sonya clears throat]
66
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,455
Hey.
67
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,623
You have the power here.
68
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,919
You tell Amy what you wanna feel and when.
69
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,005
What I want to feel.
70
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,850
[softly] Thank you.
71
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,102
[softly] Thank you.
72
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,489
I want a different room.
73
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,490
I wanna change rooms.
74
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,909
Hmm. I think they're all
pretty much the same,
75
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,660
but we can make this good.
76
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,787
We can decorate.
77
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,663
Not that painting.
78
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,415
That painting's screwed on.
79
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,542
I think it's a masterwork,
80
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,713
but why don't you tell me what you think
is worst part of this gorgeous painting?
81
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,882
The fishermen.
82
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,800
No, it's the boat.
83
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,885
[Nikki] Hmm.
84
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,596
Actually, the fish.
85
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,139
Why are there so many fish?
86
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,519
[Nikki] Such an in-your-face, like,
obscene amount of fish.
87
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,650
I think my mom is calling.
88
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,236
My phone's not ringing.
89
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,571
[phone ringing]
90
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,281
Hmm.
91
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,535
[Nikki gasps]
92
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:28,995
- Is it--
- Oh, my God!
93
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:30,956
How did you know that?
94
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,500
I think I'm starting to be magic.
95
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,669
I believe it.
96
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:42,926
Mom, hi.
97
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,137
I'm in hospice.
98
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,265
[Gail] Okay. Okay.
99
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,518
I, uh... I'm here if you need me.
100
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:56,064
You just tell me
when you need me. I'm nearby.
101
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,023
Where are you?
102
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,235
- [elevator dings]
- I'm in the lobby.
103
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,404
Of the hospital?
104
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,198
- Yes.
- Of this hospital?
105
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,411
I'm in the lobby.
How many times do I have to say it?
106
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,872
Where else was I going to be?
107
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,626
I want you here, Mom.
108
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,881
- Hi, there. Are you--
- Gail. My name is Gail.
109
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,014
Mom!
110
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:34,895
Mom.
111
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,524
[Molly cries]
112
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,444
Oh, baby girl.
113
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:44,905
My baby girl.
114
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,170
[Amy] Hey.
115
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,546
That kid over there was wondering
116
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,550
if he could play with that puzzle
for a little while.
117
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,011
No.
118
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,849
No. Okay. I'll tell him that.
119
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,311
She wants to stick with it.
120
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,021
Is she dying?
121
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,231
No.
122
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,024
But neither are you.
123
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,318
Neither am I, so let's just be cool.
124
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,403
How about search a word?
125
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,157
[door opens]
126
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,993
Hi, Gail. I'm just...
127
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,329
I just need to get my bag.
128
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:40,376
The nurse is gonna bring a cot in
so I can sleep here.
129
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,295
Oh, good, Gail.
130
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,883
Well, I'll just be in the, um...
131
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,386
the waiting room finishing my puzzle.
132
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,972
- Nikki.
- Yeah.
133
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,351
What you've done for her...
134
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,436
[Nikki] Oh...
135
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,655
Uh, who's taking care of your dogs
while you're gone?
136
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,408
Scotty, my lover.
137
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:19,249
Would you... Would you like
to finish your puzzle in here?
138
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,047
[Nikki] This is cheese.
139
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,717
This is lemon.
140
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,386
Lemon! No, cheese.
141
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:35,097
[Gail] This is sun.
142
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,099
We're gonna have
to start another pile for the sun.
143
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,183
I'll do sun.
144
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,227
[Nikki]
Okay, good. And can you also do the mouse?
145
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,814
[Gail]
Oh, I'd love to do the mouse. Thank you.
146
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,072
What happened to your hair?
147
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,656
What?
148
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,742
[gasps]
149
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,785
- Wait, is there something weird about it?
- Yeah.
150
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,079
Oh, my God! What did you do to me?
151
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,415
It wasn't me, man!
152
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,459
It just seems like you might
be coming down with something.
153
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,253
- She always wanted pink hair.
- She wouldn't let me.
154
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,047
[chuckles] It looks dope.
155
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,132
Thank you.
156
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,010
So, as you are filling out those forms,
157
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:16,389
who would like to hear
about what happens when you're dying?
158
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,768
That's good enough for me.
159
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:24,856
Death is not a mystery.
It is not a medical disaster.
160
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,776
It is a bodily process,
161
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,402
like giving birth,
162
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,114
or like going to the bathroom,
or coughing,
163
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,741
having an orgasm.
164
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,161
'Cause your body knows what to do.
165
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,330
Your body knows how to die!
166
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,956
How cool is that?
167
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,752
Okay. Here's what to expect.
168
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,464
In the last month of your life,
you're gonna stop getting out of bed.
169
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,343
You're gonna to eat and drink a lot less,
and you're gonna sleep a lot more.
170
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,677
Uh, delirium is common.
171
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,223
And some people say
they get this feeling like...
172
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,974
time stops being real.
173
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,976
Is that something
that you've been feeling?
174
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,603
- Yes!
- Yes.
175
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,688
Okay. Two to three weeks out,
176
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,067
you're gonna need help
with all daily activities.
177
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,777
But my favorite part
of the dying process is--
178
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,986
Amy!
179
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:16,657
I know. I've been talked to
about my enthusiasm.
180
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,075
I should dial it back. Sorry.
181
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,910
It doesn't work for me right now.
182
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,370
Should I keep going?
183
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,706
Yeah. But will you hold my hand?
184
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:36,302
Your body knows what's coming
and it goes into a state of ketosis,
185
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,429
which decreases hunger and pain
186
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,767
and it increases the sense of euphoria.
187
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,935
And when you start active dying--
188
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,728
What's active dying?
189
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,940
[Amy] Oh, active dying is a sacred time.
190
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:53,027
At least it used to be, and it still is
in some parts of the world.
191
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,029
It's the moment
when you're very close to death,
192
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,699
and your body starts shutting down.
193
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,076
How's everyone doing?
194
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,745
I'm looking at you, Gail.
195
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,250
If, uh, Molly wants to hear it,
196
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,626
I can hear it.
197
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,504
You guys, come here.
198
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,809
I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
199
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,979
[Amy] In active dying,
you won't be fully conscious.
200
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,981
And your jaw muscles will relax.
201
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,400
Your breathing changes.
202
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,279
And there might be this gurgling
at the back of your throat,
203
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,200
caused by something, unfortunately,
called terminal secretions.
204
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,951
[Molly chuckling]
205
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,037
[Amy] I know.
206
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,168
And when you are very close to death,
207
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:57,050
your breathing goes into a cycle
of deep slow breaths and long pauses.
208
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,012
And then eventually, there's a breath out...
209
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,932
that is not followed by a breath in.
210
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,226
And that's it.
211
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,483
- Hey.
- Yeah, yeah.
212
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,402
[whispering] Can you make sure
that my mouth isn't open when I die?
213
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,780
Okay.
214
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,908
Just don't bite me.
215
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,743
Why would I bite you?
216
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,537
I don't know
why I need you to tell me this,
217
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,374
but please say that you won't bite me.
218
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,500
How long have you had that fear?
219
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,709
I understand that you would not.
220
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,879
It's very intense in here.
I... It's an irrational fear!
221
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,215
[Amy] Okay. And at a certain time,
222
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,343
if you're just feeling too weak or...
223
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,762
you know, too much pain
or you're just done,
224
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,849
you can talk to me about sedating you,
but then you'll be unconscious.
225
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,560
I-I wanna feel everything
for as long as I can.
226
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,812
Okay, good.
227
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,772
Wait, I forgot to tell you
about the rally!
228
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,066
God! Jesus!
229
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,025
The last week of life,
230
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,280
some people experience
what's called the rally.
231
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,742
And it's this just surge
of energy and mental clarity.
232
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,995
So enjoy the rally.
233
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:12,083
Just know that you're another step
closer to death, okay?
234
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,420
I fucking love your vibe, Amy!
235
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,172
You're nuts, man!
236
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,518
I didn't know
if you were gonna wanna see me.
237
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,272
Honestly,
238
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,107
I just like making you cry.
239
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,192
[both chuckle]
240
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,156
Cool.
241
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,368
You in pain?
242
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,082
Yeah.
243
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,713
I had a lot of stuff
that I wanted to tell you in here,
244
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,549
but I'm blanking on everything.
245
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,555
Um, Beth is pregnant.
246
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,183
Oh, that's so good.
247
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,560
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
248
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,564
I've been reading a lot of baby books.
249
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,858
And did you know for the first few months
250
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,362
they think everything they see
is a part of them?
251
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,322
Isn't that wild?
252
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,365
Like, they don't know
the difference between themselves
253
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,826
and the rest of the world.
254
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,079
Wow. Yeah, I like that.
255
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,915
[Steve] Yeah.
256
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:35,833
Me too.
257
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,927
[sighs]
258
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,866
[rattling]
259
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,044
[clock ticking]
260
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,799
[ticking continues]
261
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,094
- [waves crashing]
- [gulls squawking]
262
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,304
[bell ringing]
263
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,390
Hey!
264
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,933
[ticking fades]
265
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,601
Hey, Johnny!
266
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,312
The fish are really biting today, huh?
267
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,276
Time to get all these goddamn fish!
268
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:52,200
- Molly.
- Molly.
269
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,536
Molly. Hi.
270
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,875
- [Molly] Oh.
- [penis chittering]
271
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,796
Oh, bye, little fella.
272
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,549
Mom!
273
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,801
Look at this!
274
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,635
Wake up.
275
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,053
- Mom, wake up!
- [chicken clucking]
276
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,138
Wake up!
277
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,891
Molly, I'm here!
278
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,726
- [Gail] Molly.
- Mom.
279
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,811
[baby giggling]
280
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,771
- Good morning, Molly.
- I've got your morning pills...
281
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,773
- Good morning, Molly.
- ...check on your blood pressure.
282
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,275
- ...your left arm.
- Molly, over here!
283
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,694
[clamoring]
284
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,571
[♪ jazz music playing]
285
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:30,656
[baby giggling]
286
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,744
[vocalizes] ♪ Time isn't real ♪
287
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,913
♪ It's a circle ♪ [vocalizes]
288
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:41,666
♪ You're gonna die pretty soon ♪
289
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,834
[dog barking]
290
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,920
[Dr. Pankowitz vocalizing continues]
291
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,505
[laughter]
292
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,509
[Molly vocalizing continues]
293
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,389
[audio fades]
294
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,976
I've been having these visions.
295
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:05,273
Like, shit is flying off the walls
and rotating around the room.
296
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,942
Wow!
297
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,278
Like, it felt like I was unlinking
or something.
298
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,365
Like from the world?
299
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:16,701
Yeah, and also from, like, time?
300
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,036
[Nikki] Hmm.
301
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,205
Like...
302
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,999
I think everything exists at once.
303
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,044
Like, I'm talking to you,
304
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,880
but I'm also talking
to every version of you I've ever known.
305
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,966
And it's all in the room with me.
306
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,051
Holy shit.
307
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,264
Like the version of me from 2009
when I got the same hairstyle as you?
308
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:38,599
Yeah.
309
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,560
Is it scary?
310
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,645
No.
311
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,982
I can see how much pain she's in.
312
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,150
What should I do?
313
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:49,944
Well, take a breath.
314
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:54,322
'Cause it is very common
for people to hold on
315
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,199
when they're waiting
for something to resolve
316
00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,454
or they're just concerned about
causing their loved one a lot of pain.
317
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,332
You think she's worried about you?
318
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,002
[sighs]
319
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:07,920
No.
320
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:11,799
Not me.
321
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,552
[Molly]
I just wish I could see into the future.
322
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,887
[sighs]
I wish I could see you when you're old.
323
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:21,224
Oh, that? I mean,
we're basically almost there.
324
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,311
That's gonna be exactly
whatever you think it's gonna be.
325
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:29,691
It's like, "Oh, hello.
I take art classes at the museum,
326
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,987
and I have loose mints
that are rolling around in my purse.
327
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,448
And I... My breath smells like crayons,
328
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:40,452
and my farts sound like little marbles
being dropped on a floor."
329
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,829
[Nikki laughing]
330
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,582
[both laugh]
331
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,083
I wish...
332
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,919
I wish you could be there for that too.
333
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,675
[cries]
334
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,307
Did you call Noah yet to tell him?
335
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,559
No. I'm...
336
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,978
- No.
- [phone wolf whistles]
337
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,397
Oh, hey. [chuckles]
338
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,357
I just matched with someone.
339
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,943
Oh. Whew. Just in the nick of time.
340
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,487
Oh.
341
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,572
Look at that.
342
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,156
"What are you up to?"
343
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,241
[Nikki laughs]
344
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,036
Um, funny that you asked.
345
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,246
Where have you been all my life?
346
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,258
[Nikki] Yeah.
347
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,344
[gasps]
348
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,431
This is a corner piece. Yes!
349
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,432
And that's for me.
350
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,559
Hey.
351
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:47,478
Hi.
352
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,147
What's... What are you doing here?
353
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,358
Gail called me.
354
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,276
Molly wanted me
to play percussion for her.
355
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,738
Gail said she's been listening
to a lot of classical music.
356
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,658
- [Noah] Hey, man.
- Hey.
357
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,451
- I don't want to put this on you...
- I thought it would be a nice surprise.
358
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,745
...but it is actually insane
what is going on here.
359
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,330
She broke into my phone.
360
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,708
Guilty. I used her face.
361
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,710
- Mom.
- While I was sleeping, she did that to me.
362
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,671
Is this real, or am I hallucinating again?
I hope it's real.
363
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,132
And her master plan was
to get in touch with Noah
364
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:20,009
and then she wanted me
to get back together with him,
365
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,261
so that you would be happy.
366
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,762
I'm not... I'm not really sure.
367
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:23,973
Mom.
368
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,183
You said you would
be respectful of boundaries.
369
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,852
With you, not Nikki.
370
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,061
[sighs] Oh, my God.
371
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,858
She thinks that you're worried
about leaving me alone.
372
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,237
If that's the case,
you can completely not worry about me.
373
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,783
Like, I am gonna be okay,
and I'm cool. Like, I'm good.
374
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,744
Just don't,
don't even keep that in your mind.
375
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,704
I'm not... I'm good. I'm okay.
376
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:49,539
Okay, well, I hope not that okay.
377
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,624
[Nikki chuckles]
378
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:53,836
Noah.
379
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,547
I'm sorry
that I asked her to do this with me
380
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,799
right when you were beginning
to make a life together.
381
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,635
Oh, I'm not sorry.
382
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,054
She loves you.
383
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:06,640
With everything that she has.
384
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,684
I'm not sorry about that.
385
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,437
I think that you should break up
with your girlfriend.
386
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,521
It's my dying wish.
387
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,982
Whoa. Don't break up with your girlfriend.
That's... I don't--
388
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,650
You should break up with your girlfriend
389
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,986
or I'll haunt the shit out of you
in your dreams.
390
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,571
- Why is everyone being insane?
- We broke up.
391
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,072
- [gasps] Oh, Okay.
- [gasps]
392
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,158
[Gail] Oh.
393
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:25,784
[Noah] Yeah.
394
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:26,951
- When did you break up?
- Gail...
395
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:27,952
When did you break up?
396
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,872
Um, like a week ago. So...
397
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:31,790
[Nikki] Hmm.
398
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,458
- Yeah, I didn't... That doesn't mean...
- Oh, no.
399
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:34,709
I know. Of course not.
400
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,836
I didn't come to hospice today
trying to hook up.
401
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,297
That's not... No.
402
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,258
You've got a big instrument.
403
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,135
- Oh, God.
- Yeah. Thanks, Gail.
404
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,471
Um... You wanna see what I can do with it?
405
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,639
- No.
- No.
406
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,557
No.
407
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,942
If you gotta go, you can...
You don't have to...
408
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,403
- Or you can wait. Okay.
- I want to.
409
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:10,704
I...
410
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,209
I didn't think that I was capable...
411
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,045
of loving someone this much.
412
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,718
But I know I can now.
413
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:29,056
[Nikki whispering] It's nice.
414
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,017
Yeah, that's how I felt
when Winter was born.
415
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,687
- Hmm.
- It's crazy. It's... Yeah.
416
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:37,106
Yeah.
417
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:42,277
For me, it's like I'm never gonna be there
at the start of someone's life,
418
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,696
like at the beginning.
419
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:48,659
But I am gonna be there at the end.
420
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:54,915
And I'm just gonna love this person
right up until the end.
421
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:58,752
That's amazing, Nikki.
422
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:07,928
Probably go ahead and love you too.
423
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,355
FYI. [chuckles]
424
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:23,485
Got it.
425
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,872
[scoffs] Oof.
426
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:48,010
[phone buzzes]
427
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:50,179
That's him.
428
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,807
I don't wanna go,
but I got a five-star rating,
429
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:55,935
and I'm not gonna fuck with that.
430
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:58,269
- I understand.
- Yeah, I know.
431
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,355
I know you do.
432
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:01,774
Walk me out?
433
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:05,527
[♪ "Heart and Soul" playing]
434
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:10,114
♪ I wasn't in the running,
I wasn't in the race ♪
435
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:12,492
♪ You move in a way
That I've known before ♪
436
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:15,453
♪ Now I want your love, heart and soul ♪
437
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,665
- ♪ Tired eyes, tears that dried ♪
- ♪ Leaving you ain't easy now ♪
438
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,459
- ♪ On the bed where the love has died ♪
- ♪ Loving you's the harder part ♪
439
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,836
- ♪ Through the door you go
- ♪ You never want me for myself ♪
440
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:26,506
♪ Now I've needed you right
From the very start ♪
441
00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,508
♪ Everything you said was to the point ♪
442
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:31,844
- ♪ Oh, won't you even try to? ♪
- ♪ Can't you try to? ♪
443
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:34,555
♪ Give a little bit of heart and soul ♪
444
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,849
♪ Give a little bit of love to grow ♪
445
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:39,352
♪ Give a little bit of heart and soul ♪
446
00:24:39,353 --> 00:24:42,605
♪ And don't you make me beg for more ♪
447
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:45,109
♪ Give a sign, I need to know ♪
448
00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:48,069
♪ A little bit of heart and soul ♪
449
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,654
Whoa.
450
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,323
What is going on here?
451
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,950
It's the rally!
452
00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:55,827
We think it's the rally.
453
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,246
♪ That was the heart
Of the love we shared ♪
454
00:24:58,247 --> 00:25:00,581
- ♪ Do you keep a secret left untold? ♪
- ♪ Is all that I need ♪
455
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:03,334
♪ Can't give love, heart or soul ♪
456
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,087
♪ I used to have a lover
With a Midas touch ♪
457
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:08,881
♪ I turned to gold but he turned to dust ♪
458
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:11,092
♪ Left me for another, I turned to stone ♪
459
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:14,220
♪ Now give me love, heart and soul ♪
460
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:17,390
- ♪ Tired eyes, tears that dried ♪
- ♪ Living in a fantasy ♪
461
00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:20,268
♪ There's never any room to breathe ♪
462
00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,520
♪ Hoping every waking hour ♪
463
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,939
♪ You'll turn around
And say that we can start ♪
464
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,108
♪ Everything you did just said it all ♪
465
00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:30,570
- ♪ Oh, won't you even try to? ♪
- ♪ Can't you try to? ♪
466
00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:33,239
♪ Give a little bit of heart and soul ♪
467
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,909
♪ Give a little bit of love to grow ♪
468
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:45,294
[Sonya grunts]
469
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,219
How's the water, honey?
470
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:59,223
It's good. [sighs]
471
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,517
I'm gonna be outside.
472
00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:03,478
The labor and delivery nurse
told me you have 20 minutes,
473
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:06,106
and then a rich person's gonna
come have a baby in here.
474
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:09,902
Yeah.
475
00:26:11,779 --> 00:26:15,157
[door opens, closes]
476
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:18,452
[Molly gasps]
477
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,459
I thought it would feel good.
478
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,753
But it just hurts.
479
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,172
[Gail] Oh, honey.
480
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,259
[Molly breathes heavily]
481
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,684
I think I'm ready.
482
00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:44,853
[Nikki sighs]
483
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,149
- [softly] Okay.
- [sighs]
484
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:51,318
[Gail] Good.
485
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:55,947
I'll go back to the room...
486
00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:57,241
and talk to Amy.
487
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,869
Maybe she'll have some sedation option.
488
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:06,959
Mom...
489
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:18,679
I know.
490
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,474
I already know.
491
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,231
Anything you could say to me,
492
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:32,526
I already know.
493
00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:58,760
[door opens, closes]
494
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,985
My body did a really good job.
495
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,528
Oh...
496
00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:19,280
It did so good.
497
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:20,365
[sighs]
498
00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:37,424
[Amy]
Okay, I have the first dose here for you.
499
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:41,552
Gonna ease your pain. It's gonna make
your breathing so much easier.
500
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,263
[breathes heavily]
501
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:50,436
[Molly] Know what?
502
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,939
Honestly,
503
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:56,901
it's not that fucking serious.
504
00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,236
[chuckles]
505
00:29:00,656 --> 00:29:02,199
Let's get this show on the road.
506
00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:04,910
I'm kind of excited.
507
00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:10,082
You know how many plans and trips...
508
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,794
I've had to cancel
because I wasn't feeling well?
509
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:22,386
And now it's like I get to go on a trip
that's just for me.
510
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:26,807
- Yeah.
- [Amy] Okay.
511
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:06,513
I am so proud of you.
512
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:09,266
And I love you.
513
00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:14,104
And I am so grateful for you.
514
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:24,531
You are my favorite person
in the whole wide world.
515
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,196
[Molly wheezes]
516
00:31:14,372 --> 00:31:15,373
[wheezes]
517
00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,630
[wheezes]
518
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,350
[Molly inhales]
519
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:36,645
[gurgles]
520
00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:39,523
I'm here.
521
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,608
I'm here and I got you.
522
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:48,907
[Molly exhales]
523
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:23,733
Oh, shit.
524
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,801
[whispering] Thank you for not biting me.
525
00:33:07,444 --> 00:33:09,321
[actor] Our revels now are ended.
526
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:13,449
These are actors,
527
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:17,203
As I foretold you, were all spirits
528
00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:19,998
And melted in the air, into thin air:
529
00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:23,835
And, like the baseless fabric
of this vision,
530
00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:28,965
The cloud-capp'd towers,
the gorgeous palaces,
531
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:33,887
The solemn temples,
the great globe itself,
532
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,263
Shall dissolve
533
00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:40,226
And, like this insubstantial
pageant faded,
534
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:42,312
Leave not a rack behind.
535
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:47,816
We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
536
00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:49,611
Is rounded with a sleep.
537
00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,205
[pedestrian] No! [laughs]
538
00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:02,999
You're terrible. I can't...
539
00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:05,918
[chuckles] Tell me...
540
00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:07,504
[♪ "Calling for You" playing]
541
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:09,838
[Noah] Hey.
542
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,132
Sorry we're late.
543
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:15,135
Hi, Winter. How's school?
544
00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:16,428
[audio fades out]
545
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:21,851
♪ Well, I woke up
This morning without you ♪
546
00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:26,690
♪ Don't ask me how, but I got through ♪
547
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:32,362
♪ The floor of this room
I've been pacing ♪
548
00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:36,700
♪ Trying to drown out
The sound my heart is making ♪
549
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:40,787
♪ It's calling for you ♪
550
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:48,461
♪ Well, I woke up
This morning without you ♪
551
00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,466
♪ Don't ask me how, but I got through ♪
552
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:58,722
♪ The floor of this room, I was pacing ♪
553
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:03,976
♪ Trying to drown out
The sound my heart was making ♪
554
00:35:03,977 --> 00:35:08,064
♪ It was calling for you ♪
555
00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:18,073
♪ Calling for you ♪
556
00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:23,246
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
36624
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