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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,589
[social worker] We have
a new member of the group.
2
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,175
She was diagnosed as stage four
a month ago.
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,594
This is Molly, and I warned her
4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:15,055
that the stage four group
is kind of a wild bunch.
5
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,891
Is there anything you wanted to discuss
with the group?
6
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:22,062
So, I actually was wondering
if anyone had any tips
7
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,149
for how to keep dating and having sex?
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,068
I left my husband
when I found out I was stage four,
9
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,778
and I've been having sex.
10
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:32,281
And I actually thought
the sex would be better,
11
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,283
but I'm starting to worry
it might just be me.
12
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,828
I guess I was wondering if anyone knows
13
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,750
how to tell a stranger you just met
on the internet how to make you come?
14
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,502
Um...
15
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,340
Maybe you're with the wrong man.
16
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,274
Come here. You look beautiful.
17
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:10,361
[Molly] Who's this group?
Do they have fun cancer?
18
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,658
Early stagers. Stage one, two and three.
19
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:20,245
They don't wanna see us.
We're scary, like ghosts.
20
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,331
Ooh.
21
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,209
[group leader] Cookies are reserved
for amazing women only.
22
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,418
So everyone.
23
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,298
[Molly] They look so happy.
Oh, she's getting laid.
24
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:32,967
Fuck it.
25
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,471
[patient 1] Boom. Instant serotonin.
26
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,015
[group cheering, clapping]
27
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,391
- Hey.
- [group leader] Yes!
28
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,229
That mind-body connection is real.
29
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,023
That stress and pain that we
carry around from our childhood,
30
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,942
that's what cancer feeds off of.
31
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:53,153
A positive attitude can help fight cancer.
32
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,446
[patient 2] Yes!
33
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,699
[Molly] Yes. I need to be happier,
more positive.
34
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,244
That's how I'm gonna start
having really good sex.
35
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:04,081
I need to be one of those fully realized
women who has sex while wearing jewelry.
36
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,999
Long, dangly earrings.
37
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,002
I wanna be so emotionally stable
that I make eye contact
38
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,713
every moment a man is inside me.
39
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,424
Like, even during doggy style.
40
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,176
I feel like I'm just gonna surround myself
41
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:19,054
- with light and joy and positivity.
- Mmm. Yes.
42
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,931
- Like, I feel good.
- Mm-hmm.
43
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,433
But you lied to a cancer support group.
44
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,935
- No.
- Yes.
45
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,104
I just didn't tell them everything.
46
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,231
[phone vibrates]
47
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:33,527
It's been a good first month.
I feel healthy, and I'm having sex,
48
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:37,489
- which is what I wanted.
- Yeah. Yes. But you're not having orgasms.
49
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,743
Oh, no, I am. I just do, like,
a little buzz buzz after they leave.
50
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,079
- Uh-huh.
- I take my orgasm to go.
51
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,958
Like a come doggie bag. Using a vibrator.
52
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:48,877
[singsongy] Yes.
53
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,883
But seriously, you never had an orgasm
with Steve? For ten years?
54
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,635
- No. No, like, I would get close.
- Mm-hmm.
55
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,596
Like, you know when it feels
like a little sneeze?
56
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,223
Like... [imitates sneeze]
57
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,977
- I don't... I'm not sure...
- [imitates sneeze]
58
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,478
- No?
- No, I haven't felt that.
59
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,688
[chitters]
60
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,983
- I'd like to try that. Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
61
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,484
- No.
- Oh, my God. I can't with you.
62
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,320
You can just, like, always come from sex.
63
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,032
I like a good old-fashioned
dick in vagina.
64
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,284
- I'm a real Penetration Patty.
- [sighs]
65
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,787
[sighs] I just can't.
Like, every time I get close,
66
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:28,707
it's like somebody throws a blanket
on my brain and the light goes out.
67
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,792
And then I'm just, like, not there.
68
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,794
[footsteps approaching]
69
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:35,340
- Okay, Molly.
- Here we go.
70
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,137
[Nikki] Are you walking weird?
71
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,432
No. Stop watching me walk.
72
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,394
I know how you walk,
and that is not how you walk.
73
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,188
Now I am walking weird
because you're watching me.
74
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,359
No, I'm not. I don't care how you walk.
Oh, my God. Get over yourself.
75
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,778
- Okay, so--
- She's walking weird.
76
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:01,073
- [Nikki] Hi.
- What? No, I'm... I'm doing great.
77
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,784
Okay. I-I don't know what
"walking weird" means.
78
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:07,412
It means I've seen her walk before,
and now she's walking different.
79
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,498
Well, any other symptoms
that have come up?
80
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,793
Um, yes. Insomnia, hot flashes
81
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,587
and vaginal dryness during intercourse.
82
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,047
[Molly] I am, yes.
83
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,132
[in Scottish accent] A wee bit dry.
[chuckles]
84
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,927
A wee bit dry in my vagina.
85
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,430
Oh, my God. Did I just pretend
my vagina has a Scottish accent?
86
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,349
Okay, Sonya, you wanna take this?
87
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,685
- It's a mental health issue.
- Yeah.
88
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,646
How is having a dry vagina
a mental health issue?
89
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,400
Well, it's be-- You know, women, you know...
90
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,150
Emotional feelings.
91
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:41,071
It's so common. I have some really fun
lube options that I can offer you.
92
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,407
Would you like some? Slick, slick, slick.
93
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,574
Yes, yes, yes.
94
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,576
[Dr. Pankowitz chuckles]
95
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,412
Check, please. Waiter, get me out of here.
96
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,331
Moving on.
97
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,085
Okay, so we're going
into full attack mode.
98
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,629
Your numbers are holding
on leuprolide and letrozole,
99
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,132
so I'm gonna add Ribociclib.
100
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,218
And I am supposed to have
a licensed clinical social worker check in
101
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,012
to see if you are mentally fit,
102
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:11,226
because palliative care is just such
an important part of our team. Huh?
103
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,270
And I... I believe that.
104
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,731
Okay, but just so that you have
all the information,
105
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:19,860
this combination of medicine
can really cause your mood to change.
106
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,404
Feelings can become amplified.
107
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,367
[Molly] This is it.
It's gonna happen tonight.
108
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:31,205
You know, I almost never take elevators
'cause I'm trying to bulk up my calves.
109
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,755
[groans] This fucking guy.
110
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,840
[elevator dings, doors open]
111
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,846
Stay positive. Focus on your date.
112
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,892
He's 25, he smells like bar soap.
113
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,226
You're both wearing cool jackets.
114
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:55,187
What is that taco?
Why does it smell so bad?
115
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,522
Hi, I'm Molly.
I moved in across from you last month.
116
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,568
I wrote you a note about eating food
in the elevator. Did you get it?
117
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,445
I did.
118
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,330
'Cause I would just really love
to keep our shared spaces clean.
119
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,167
It just really helps me to... Mentally.
120
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,803
Joy and light. Joy and light.
121
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,097
Fucking joy and fucking--
122
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,270
[console chimes]
123
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:39,273
[loud TV sounds]
124
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,151
I'm sorry. My neighbor plays video games.
125
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,405
It's cool. It's like
we're making out in a battlefield.
126
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,573
Uh, sort of.
127
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,284
I like to keep my bra on.
128
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,702
You're amazing.
129
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,746
I am amazing and you're amazing,
130
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,124
and I'm a fully-realized,
emotionally-stable woman.
131
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,710
And you don't have any hair
on your balls, and let's fuck.
132
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,053
Can I touch you?
133
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,684
Okay, it doesn't have to be weird.
Make it sexy.
134
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,396
Is that hand sanitizer?
135
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:23,650
Oh, no, it's lube.
Okay. It's a lot. Do we need all that?
136
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,236
- Yes.
- Okay.
137
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,249
Talk to me. Tell me what you like.
Tell me what you want.
138
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,670
Stay connected. Eye contact.
Like a normal--
139
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,215
[high-pitched ringing]
140
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,137
[ringing fades]
141
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,727
I don't know. What do-- What do you like?
142
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,938
Um, clasp my balls?
143
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,067
I can clasp your balls.
144
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,780
Uh, um, clasp.
145
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,951
Am I tugging down, or, like,
a loose handshake with your balls?
146
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,621
Clasp.
147
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,456
- Clasp.
- No.
148
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,540
- Clasp?
- Clasp?
149
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,833
[shower running]
150
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,628
[running stops]
151
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,006
[gasps] Oh.
152
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,887
I'm sorry, I know you, right?
I know you, right?
153
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:37,224
Yeah. You live here? I shower here.
154
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,061
- I knew you from the shower.
- That's right. That's how we met.
155
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,277
I'm sorry we haven't been having
a lot of sex.
156
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:52,281
I just... I feel like I always
smell like the hospital.
157
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,909
I'm just worried about you.
158
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,038
That's all. Like, are you really okay?
159
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:06,503
I can't actually talk about it.
Let's just have sex.
160
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,757
- Oh. Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh.
- I know, babe.
161
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,633
[Nikki] You're just...
162
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,177
- You're dressed so slutty. Sorry.
- Okay, I'm--
163
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,721
- Hold on. I actually wanna talk about it.
- No.
164
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,641
- Like, we don't have to have sex.
- Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, we do.
165
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,018
- Okay. Okay.
- Yes, we do.
166
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,492
Hello. This is Patricia.
Thank you for holding.
167
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,952
Please provide your case number.
168
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,705
- What the fuck?
- I'm...
169
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,000
I'm on hold with Molly's
insurance company.
170
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,460
- Hello? Can I help you?
- This whole time?
171
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,504
It usually takes 45 minutes.
Wait. Hold on.
172
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,298
- Is someone there?
- I'm here, ma'am.
173
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:54,843
Can you just rub your dick until I'm done?
It won't take that long. Or I can rub it.
174
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,511
I can rub it while I do this.
175
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:59,140
Excuse me? Is this a prank call?
Are you a prankster?
176
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,310
I'm not a prankster, okay?
I'm talking to my boyfriend. Just grow up.
177
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,269
Ma'am.
178
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,229
- I'll finish in the bathroom. It's okay.
- Please don't--
179
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,523
I love you. Okay. Bye.
180
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:15,323
- Hello. Case number "J8329390YM."
- Hello.
181
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,160
- Do you mind clasping...
- Fuck.
182
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,422
No, that's the taint.
Come on, get your shit together.
183
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,092
Uh, clasp.
184
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,387
- No. Clasp.
- Do you mean cup?
185
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,265
No, clasp.
186
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,933
What if I push them inside you
and move you around like a puppet?
187
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,269
Why don't we get the vacuum cleaner
and suck your balls up into it?
188
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,896
Why don't I sit on them or kick them?
189
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,565
That's hot.
I'd kick you in the fucking balls.
190
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,068
- Clasp.
- My shoulder hurts.
191
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,738
- Can you stop saying "clasp"?
- Well...
192
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,240
you're not saying anything.
Tell me what you want.
193
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,576
Tell me what feels good.
194
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,162
I told you, I don't know.
195
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,831
How do you not know what feels good?
196
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:09,209
I'm sorry. It's just,
the people I have sex with,
197
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,504
they tell me what they like
and what feels good.
198
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,757
Especially older women,
and that's one of the reasons why I--
199
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,842
Leave.
200
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,480
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I just wanted you to cla...
201
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,070
[vibrator vibrating]
202
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,448
[panting, grunting]
203
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,248
[neighbor moaning]
204
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,918
[moaning continues]
205
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,380
[vibrator stops]
206
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,634
What's happening?
He's jerking off 'cause I'm jerking off?
207
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,969
That's basically a crime.
208
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,262
[neighbor, moaning continues]
209
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,014
[vibrator starts]
210
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,725
Oh, no.
211
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,771
He hates me. He hates himself.
212
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,065
And he's probably got guacamole
on his hands.
213
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,110
[Molly, moaning intensifies]
214
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,209
[console chimes]
215
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,837
[videogame sounds]
216
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,464
[vibrator stops]
217
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,510
It was a mistake.
218
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,305
A mistake orgasm?
219
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,723
What is a mistake orgasm?
220
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,768
He's disgusting.
He wanted me to hear him jerking off.
221
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,770
Totally. And you were also jerking off.
222
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,564
I came so hard
I think I pulled a stomach muscle.
223
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,399
That's... That's beside the point.
224
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,361
How did it make you feel afterwards?
That's the main question.
225
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,738
Did you feel good?
226
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,365
It was like a full marching band
in my pants.
227
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,659
It was a mistake.
228
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,456
Okay, I'm ready.
229
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,544
Let's take intense mood-altering drugs
that may or may not turn my poop black.
230
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,841
Let's enjoy it.
231
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,301
Yeah.
232
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,844
Find your joy!
233
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:25,929
Yeah!
234
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,389
Fuck, yeah!
235
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:34,396
We're literally not even on step one.
236
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,107
[crying] I hate it.
237
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,568
It's not even a coffee table.
238
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,404
It doesn't bring the space together.
239
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,706
Course you're awake too, you sad fuck.
240
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,251
What are you wearing?
Your little basketball shorts.
241
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,379
I can see the hair poking out
from the hole in your T-shirt.
242
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,507
Bet you shed like a dog.
I hate everything about you.
243
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,343
There's trash on the floor.
244
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:08,764
Look!
245
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,566
You think you can just make a mess and
expect that other people will clean it up?
246
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:21,944
Yeah.
247
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,447
Pick it up.
248
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:36,292
Oh, my God. You're doing what I say.
249
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,098
Now say, "I'm disgusting."
250
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,269
I'm disgusting.
251
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,028
Say it again.
252
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,865
I'm disgusting.
253
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,120
[door opens]
254
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,832
[door closes]
255
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,760
- [neighbor moaning]
- [vibrator starts]
256
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,643
- Oh, stop it!
- [vibrator stops]
257
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,727
[moaning stops]
258
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:38,938
Stop it.
259
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,524
[neighbor] Please. Please can I come?
260
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,903
No!
261
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,162
You were strong.
262
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,878
I know. I know, I know. Listen, my friend
has cancer and I'm taking care of her.
263
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:08,341
I swear, like, when I don't have anywhere
to be, the appointment does start on time,
264
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,885
and when I do have somewhere to be,
it takes hours.
265
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:14,138
And I can't complain to her
because she is terminally ill,
266
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:19,102
which is worse than being late
for rehearsal, I feel like. Right?
267
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,981
Your performance today is...
268
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,996
Is that... Would that be a dead bird?
269
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:39,248
Yeah. I get it.
270
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,710
Please don't fire me.
271
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,129
[chuckles]
272
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,132
Oh, I'm feeling these drugs.
273
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,719
I don't think anyone can tell.
I think I look normal.
274
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:56,306
I thought we could all talk a little
about our cancer journeys.
275
00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,144
- When I started my cancer journey...
- [Molly chuckling]
276
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,607
Sorry.
277
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:07,818
I just...
278
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,279
When you say "cancer journey"
it just... I'm sorry.
279
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,532
It just makes it sound
like it's a really fun trip.
280
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,493
No.
281
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,540
Why don't you speak to your journey?
282
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,960
I got cancer, and then it was gone
for two years.
283
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,965
And then it came back as stage four.
284
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,135
Shit.
285
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:38,097
Sorry.
I didn't tell you guys I'm stage four
286
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,308
'cause I wanted to be in this group.
287
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:45,021
Anyway, the whole time that I thought
that I was healthy, my body was just like...
288
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:48,816
like, waiting to give me more cancer.
[chuckles]
289
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,319
Uh, that's my cancer journey.
290
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,573
Molly, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave the group.
291
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,575
- What?
- What's happening to you
292
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,661
is their worst fear.
293
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,039
Mine too.
294
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,585
What if we've gone through all this,
and the cancer comes back?
295
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,754
Hey.
296
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:17,471
Joy and light.
Fucking joy and fucking light.
297
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,317
[Molly groans]
298
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,237
Pick up your fucking trash!
299
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,447
What the fuck is wrong with you?
300
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,909
Are you gonna go back inside
and jerk off to this?
301
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,453
Yeah.
302
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,416
Let me watch.
303
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,759
- [door closes]
- Take off your clothes.
304
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:01,515
- Why do you have this?
- I work in city government for 311.
305
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,351
Touch your dick.
306
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,357
- Can I get some lotion?
- You do what I say.
307
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,442
Okay.
308
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,738
Yeah, you should get some lotion.
309
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,204
What else should I do?
310
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,249
You like this?
311
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,961
- Yeah. I like it.
- Did I say you can fucking talk?
312
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,344
Is this your dad?
313
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,182
How did such an attractive man
produce such a sack of shit like you?
314
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,935
That's not my dad. That's Bill de Blasio.
315
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,230
Is his dick as boring as yours?
316
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,482
More.
317
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,860
You like it when I talk about
your little medium-sized dick?
318
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,488
Look at the way you're jerking off.
Your pinky is out.
319
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,909
You think your dick is fancy? That sucks.
320
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:06,788
I hate that. I want to hit you
and kick you in the dick and destroy you.
321
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,084
Do it. Do it. Kick me.
322
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,338
Do it. Kick me in the dick.
323
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,090
Please.
324
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:34,191
[screams] Shit!
325
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,026
[neighbor] Oh, God. [groans]
326
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,320
[Molly groans]
327
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,240
What... Are you okay?
328
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:43,950
Is that part of this?
329
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,535
[Molly screams]
330
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:52,208
She's on her first line of treatment
with leuprolide, letrozole,
331
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,752
- and she just started Ribociclib--
- We gave her morphine.
332
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,629
It's not fucking working!
333
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,923
- I don't think it's working.
- The hormones she's on
334
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,802
- can amplify what she's already feeling.
- Oh, really? That's so interesting!
335
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,346
Fucking bastard! Get me a fucking doctor!
336
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,183
- I am a doctor.
- Then why are you so young?
337
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,729
I don't want this virgin
on my cancer journey!
338
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,564
- She doesn't mean that.
- I do! I really do!
339
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,985
- She does mean that.
- I'm gonna page palliative care.
340
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,362
Excuse... I'm...
341
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,866
I don't know what to do right now.
I don't know how to help you.
342
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:28,287
- Help me!
- Okay.
343
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:34,125
Can I get another doctor?
Do you... Who else do you have?
344
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,044
Like, I need, like, a doctor,
like an older doctor-doctor.
345
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,588
- You can't choose your own doctor.
- [groans] Yeah. I can.
346
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,049
- You can't choose your own fucking doctor.
- What are you doing?
347
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,468
- Hey. Can you see my friend?
- Of course.
348
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:46,637
Oh, thank you so much.
Why don't you take some fucking notes?
349
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:47,888
Here.
350
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:50,559
Hi, is there anything I can do
to make your day better?
351
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,562
Please, please help me.
352
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,355
Okay.
353
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,950
- Are you a clown?
- Oh, my God. You're the hospital clown.
354
00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:10,287
- Yeah. It's on my jacket.
- Get out. Get out.
355
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,375
Why does it hurt this much?
Did I kick his dick off?
356
00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:20,297
Hey, hey. Look at me. Take a breath.
357
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,343
The best thing you can do for Molly
is to breathe. Yeah.
358
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,429
I'm fine. This is not about me.
I just-- I got... I fucked it up.
359
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,848
I fucked up and I got
the fucking clown doctor.
360
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,059
Have you been drinking?
361
00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:36,520
I got fired from my job,
and I went and I drank a whole lot,
362
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:39,648
but don't worry about me.
Can you just please help her?
363
00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:42,652
- Please, please, please, please.
- Okay. Drink that.
364
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:44,738
Molly?
365
00:22:56,333 --> 00:23:00,586
I told them that she was in pain,
and it was like they did not even hear me.
366
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,088
And you're white.
367
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:05,758
Black women say they're in pain
and they give them some red Jell-O.
368
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,510
That's why I do this.
369
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,721
Pain is political. Pleasure is political.
370
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:12,515
You know, don't get me started.
371
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:15,559
[Nikki] I want to get you started,
and I want you to never stop.
372
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,645
[Sonya chuckles]
373
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:28,949
Hi.
374
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,203
Are you in any pain?
375
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,540
No.
376
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:42,753
Okay, the doctor came in
while you were sleeping.
377
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:47,716
And you have a fracture in your femur,
378
00:23:47,717 --> 00:23:51,929
and they think that it's probably
because the cancer in your hip
379
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,640
has spread a little bit.
380
00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:00,521
You said I was walking weird.
381
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,858
Yeah, I know how baby walks.
382
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:07,611
I also want you to know that they
are gonna put a rod in your leg
383
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:11,783
to prophylactically stabilize
the femur bone.
384
00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:14,661
They're gonna come in
and go over all of this with you.
385
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,706
They're going to put a rod in my leg?
386
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,042
Yeah, I know. I know.
387
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,421
Oh, Molly.
388
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:27,966
It's my fault.
389
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,969
You know, I tried so hard to be positive
390
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:35,931
but I'm just like a naturally fucked-up,
negative person, and it's my fault.
391
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:38,018
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
392
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:42,105
Cancer doesn't care
if you're a positive person.
393
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:46,067
Positive, wonderful, beautiful people
die all the time.
394
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:51,948
It's my stupid, fucked-up, broken body.
I hate it.
395
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,201
I got cancer twice.
396
00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:58,120
I can't even have normal orgasms
from normal sex.
397
00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:01,875
Normal sex? Who decides what that means?
398
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:03,960
Just tell them.
399
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,341
I made my neighbor jerk off in front of me
400
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,302
while I said truly horrible things
about his penis
401
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:14,888
and then I kicked him in the dick.
402
00:25:16,973 --> 00:25:18,015
And I loved it.
403
00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:21,937
Yes. Amazing. Yes! Yes. Yes.
404
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,522
Why is that amazing?
405
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,525
Because you figured out
something that you want.
406
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,820
No. I don't want to have to
hurt people to have orgasms.
407
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,781
I...
408
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:35,032
What is wrong with me?
409
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,242
Nothing.
410
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,409
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
411
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:39,203
Nothing the fuck is wrong with you.
412
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,164
You early millennials are so tragic.
413
00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:46,920
You know, you think sex
is just penetration and orgasms. Why?
414
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:50,882
Because that's what Samantha said.
415
00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:53,468
Sex...
416
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,429
Sex is a wave.
417
00:25:57,597 --> 00:26:01,351
You know, sex... Sex is a mindset.
418
00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:06,605
Sex is the nonlinear emergent phenomenon
419
00:26:06,606 --> 00:26:09,859
that arises when two or more beings...
420
00:26:11,069 --> 00:26:13,196
they touch energy fields.
421
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,781
Here's the thing about your body:
422
00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:17,158
you have to listen to it.
423
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,327
Yes, maybe it's saying something
that you don't want
424
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:22,121
and you don't understand,
425
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:26,459
but give it a chance and listen to it.
Both of you.
426
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,920
Here. Here's my card.
427
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,840
I want you to call me whenever.
428
00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:33,882
Thanks.
429
00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:35,427
Sleep well.
430
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,473
You kicked him in the dick?
431
00:26:41,474 --> 00:26:43,643
[♪ The Earth Won't Hold Me plays]
432
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:51,650
♪ I get so tall on being me ♪
433
00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:57,449
♪ Oh, I am joy, I am a song
There is no place I don't belong ♪
434
00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:03,413
♪ And now the earth can't hold me
The earth will never hold me ♪
435
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:09,544
♪ I know the earth won't hold me
While I want to live ♪
436
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:16,634
♪ I follow walls that lead to space ♪
437
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:23,015
♪ I tumble into what I say
I track the dark and find the day ♪
438
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:28,354
♪ And now the earth can't hold me
The earth will never hold me ♪
439
00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:34,903
♪ I leap into the moving sun ♪
32233
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