All language subtitles for AITF - s01e01 - Meet the Bunkers

(Getranscribeerd door TurboScribe. Upgrade naar Onbeperkt om dit bericht te verwijderen.) From Television City in Hollywood.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played Songs that

made the hit parade Guys like us, we

had it made Those were the days And

you knew when you were there Girls and

men were men Missed that we could use

a man like Herbert Hoover again Didn't need

no welfare state Everybody pulled his weight G

.R.O. was loud and great Those were

the days Gloria,

I hurried back.

Good, you can take out the garbage.

Garbage is not exactly what I had in

mind.

Come here.

No, not now, Michael.

Why not?

I want everything ready for when the folks

get back from church.

It's different, isn't it, an anniversary brunch?

Yeah, well, I think your mother will love

it, but your father, he doesn't care about

anniversaries.

I mean, you had to pick out the

present for him to give to your mother,

and I had to get the card, and

he doesn't know about any of this.

What do you think he's going to do

when he finds out?

He'll have a fit, but then he wouldn't

get her anything, and it'll make Mom's day.

What are you running away from me?

Come here.

Gloria, Gloria, we have been living with your

folks since we're married.

We don't get the house alone that much.

Oh, we're not alone.

Lionel's upstairs.

Lionel?

Why?

He's fixing the portable TV for Dad.

And then later, he's going to take the

present and get some fresh-cut flowers and

deliver them together just to make it more

romantic.

That's as good as new, Gloria.

Hey, how's it going, man?

Hey, Lionel, how are you?

I'll get the present.

Hey, so what's new on campus with all

you angry white social democrats, huh?

Oh, we're shaking them up.

Okay.

Hey, where's your father-in-law?

He's at church.

Good.

Why, is he still giving you a hard

time?

I'm used to him by now.

You know his latest kick?

What?

Asking me what I'm going to be when

I get to college.

He likes to hear me say, I'm going

to be an electrical engineer.

You say that for him?

Give the people what they want, man.

How else do I get to become an

electrical engineer?

Here's the present in the card.

And Mom likes just about any kind of

flower, so will a dollar be enough?

Crazy, where I get my flowers, this represents

a buck profit.

See you, Lionel.

All right now, Michael, promise me something.

For today, for the 22nd anniversary, no fighting

with Daddy, okay?

Okay.

Thank you.

Hmm?

Lori, they don't get out of church till

11.30. It's a 10-minute walk.

We've got time to spare.

Not now, Michael.

I've got church.

It's on my mind.

We've got time.

There's one little thing more.

It's not going to hurt.

But we have to be downstairs to yell

surprise.

They'll be downstairs.

Let them yell surprise.

It's their own anniversary.

Come here.

If you don't like what I do, then

what do you bring me there for anyway?

I'm not going to quarrel with you, Archie.

It's maybe the fourth time in 22 years

you've been to church with me, so I'm

grateful for the half a sermon we sang.

Half a sermon was plenty.

He said all I wanted to hear.

And I've been to church with you more

than four times in 22 years, too.

Well, maybe it's six times, seven, if you

want to include the time we was married

in church.

Look, I don't want to make no World

War III out of this.

What do you call all this?

The table's all set with the good glasses

and all.

Oh, it's for our anniversary.

Look, Archie.

Glory and might, they've made us a brunch.

A what?

A brunch.

A brunch, it figures.

She's reading Cosmopolitan again.

Hi.

You're early.

Where were you?

We're just going to go sit down over

there.

Yeah, I'll bet.

11.10 on a Sunday morning.

Happy anniversary to you.

Happy anniversary to you.

Happy anniversary, dear Mom and Dad.

Happy anniversary to you.

Oh, my.

Archie, ain't this nice?

Yeah.

Five minutes more, we would have got it

remote from the bedroom.

Archie, why do you want a pet garden

when you just had such a nice surprise?

They was the ones that had the surprise.

Used to be the daylight hours was reserved

for the respectable things of life.

Certain things are no different now than they

ever were.

What are you talking about?

In my day, get your feet off that

thing.

In my day, we was able to keep

certain things in a proper suspective.

Take keeping company, for instance.

Your mother-in-law and me was going

around together, it was two whole years, we

never...

I never...

I mean, there was nothing.

I mean, absolutely nothing.

Not till the wedding night.

Yeah, and even then.

We have the orange juice in here and

then we go in there for brunch.

My, my, how fancy.

All right, all right, leave it there, huh,

cosmopolitan?

Oh, Daddy, stop it.

I think it's very today.

That's right.

The in crowd never has a whole meal

in one room anymore.

Well, that's what they say.

You're a pip, you know that?

A real pip.

You're married 22 years today, Daddy, so talk

real nice to Mom, okay?

Listen, little girl, you just go on and

mind your own beeswax, huh?

And pull that skate down.

Every time you sit down on one of

them things, the mystery's over.

What the hell is it nowadays, will you

tell me?

Girls with skates up to here, guys with

hair down to there.

I stopped in a gent's room the other

day, so help me, there was a guy

in there with a ponytail.

My heart nearly turned over in me.

I thought I was in the wrong turn.

Why do you fight it?

The world's changing.

That's right.

That's what the Reverend Felcher was saying.

You two should have heard him.

Of course, Mr. Religion here wasn't seeing eye

to eye with the sermon.

What sermon?

That was socialist propaganda, pure and simple.

Now, don't give me that look.

You didn't think it was so hot, neither.

I said it was different, that's all, but

I didn't curse the Reverend from right there

in the front.

He never heard me.

Besides, I ain't sitting still for no preacher

telling me that I'm to blame for all

this breakdown in law and order that's going

on.

Why not?

We're all to blame for not paying attention

to the cause of it.

The cause of it?

I'll tell you the cause of it.

The cause of it is these Sobsisters like

the Reverend Felcher and the bleeding hearts and

weeping Nellies like used to.

Like us?

I think we better eat now.

No, no, no.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

It's you.

Me?

Yeah, that's right.

You, the property owner with your 24-inch

TVs and your four-slice toasters and your

ice-making refrigerators.

That's all you care about, Archie, is what

you got and how you can keep it.

Well, you'd care about it too, Sonny Boy,

if you had anything.

You wasn't living off of me without a

pot to peel a potato in.

Wait a second.

You're the one who said I could stay

here while I was in school.

I thought it was gonna be for a

year while you learned to trade or something.

I didn't think you was gonna wind up

in college learning how to be a survivor.

What are you talking about?

That's ridiculous.

I just want to learn a little bit

about society so I can help people.

People?

Your mother-in-law and me is people.

Help us, will you?

Go to work.

I know what's bothering you.

You're upset because I was nailing you on

that law and order thing.

You?

Nailing me?

Yeah, that's right.

Now I'm gonna tell you something.

Oh, Michael.

No, no, wait a second.

I'm sorry, Gloria.

I know I promised, but I feel I

gotta say this.

You know why we got a breakdown in

law and order in this country, Archie?

Because we got poverty.

Real poverty.

And you know why we got that?

Because guys like you are unwilling to give

the black man, the Mexican-American, and all

the other minorities their just and rightful, hard

-earned share of the American dream.

Who said he wasn't smart?

That's beautiful, Michael.

Beautiful.

Oh, that's gorgeous.

Now let me tell you something.

If your spics in your space want their

rightful share of the American dream, let them

get out there and hustle for it just

like I do.

Yeah, but, Archie, you're forgetting one thing.

You didn't have to hustle with a black

skin.

No, I didn't have to hustle with one

arm and one leg, neither.

So what?

So you're admitting that the black man is

handicapped.

Oh, no.

No more me.

He's just as good as me.

Now I suppose you're going to tell me

that the black man has had the same

opportunity in this country as you?

More.

He's had more.

I didn't have no million people out there

marching and protesting to get me my job.

No, his uncle got it for him.

All I'm saying is don't blame me.

You and that Reverend Bleeding Heart Felcher up

there in his ivory shower.

Now that's enough.

Talking about a man of the cloth that

way, God could punish you for that.

God?

What God?

Yeah, what God?

What was that?

Did you hear him?

Did you hear her?

What was that remark, Sonny?

I think we better eat now.

I want to know what you meant by

what God.

It's nothing, Archie.

It's nothing.

You need God, so forget it.

That's no way to talk on the Sabbath,

Mike.

Stifle, Edith.

That's no way to talk to your father

-in-law.

Edith, I told you.

I mean, Sunday is a day of peace

and rest, and we eat a nice brunch.

Edith, will you stifle?

Archie, we're all hungry.

Will you stifle?

Don't touch me.

Nobody eats nothing around here.

We get this thing straight.

Now, Sonny boy, you made a certain referential

remark there a minute or so ago along

the following lines.

What God, you said.

And I heard your wife, my flesh and

blood, repeat it.

So let's hear it again.

What did you mean by what God?

We just don't see any evidence of God.

That's all.

That's right, Daddy.

That's right, kids.

Well, I knew we had a couple of

pinkos in this house, but I didn't know

we had atheists.

Did you know that, Edith, that we had

a pair of atheists under this roof?

Maybe if we could just eat a little,

Sonny boy.

Will you stifle, you silly dingbat?

I don't want no more arguments.

We are not arguing.

We're discussing.

I don't care what you call it.

It's still arguing.

We're having what we always have around here.

A discussion.

I don't see the difference.

That's because you're ridiculous.

You get that ridiculous hat off your head.

Now, will you stay out of this?

So long as you don't argue.

Edith, stay the hell out of this.

Oh, crap!

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

Get away from me, you meathead.

It's all your fault.

You nearly bite the hand off.

Well, what did he do?

He helps himself to coffee, then he turns

the handle around the other way.

He didn't do it on purpose.

Well, let me see.

It really hurts, huh?

Yeah.

Right about in there?

Yeah.

You know what I think we ought to

do?

What do you think?

I think we ought to eat.

Give me over the ketchup there, will you?

Oh, ketchup on eggs.

Daddy, really?

Daddy really has been eating ketchup on eggs

since before you was born, little girl.

So don't let it concern you, huh?

Archie, that's terrible.

Well, who's for more eggs?

Sure I can help you, dear.

Not today, Mom.

Today you said if I need any help,

Michael can do it.

Well, I won't do him no harm, either.

Last time I seen him lifting a hand

around here, he was testing his deodorant.

Mom!

Oh, Archie, leave him alone.

Yeah, what do you want from me, anyway?

I don't have time to do anything.

I'm studying six hours, I'm in class six

hours.

You know, it's not easy going to college.

It's hard work.

For you, it's like building a pyramid.

I'll tell you, all that sociology and studying

that welfare stuff, I don't call that no

hard work.

Oh, Daddy, leave him alone.

I think that it's beautiful that Michael wants

to help the underprivileged.

Listen, he wants to help the underprivileged.

Let him start with himself.

He's got no brains, he's got no ambition.

If that ain't underprivileged, I don't know what

is.

That's it.

Mother, we're moving out of here.

I'm not going to stay in this house

another minute to see my husband insulted like

that.

Archie, say you're sorry.

If she leaves here, she'll be dead inside

a year.

You don't have to worry.

They ain't going nowhere.

Oh, you don't know what it is, Archie.

She can't be cleaning an apartment and cooking

and marketing.

Why, Dr. Feinstein says she's anemic.

Don't give me that.

For 10 bucks, some of these doctors will

tell you anything you want to hear.

It's the best there is when it comes

to blood.

My own cousin from the hospital said so.

Your cousin from the hospital empties bedpans.

Don't make him out no specialist.

I know what Dr. Feinberg said.

Feinstein.

Feinstein.

Feinberg.

It all comes to the same thing, and

I know that tribe.

I'm telling you, Archie, them kids don't leave

this house until Mike can provide for her

proper.

Oh, boy.

Four years before I even begin to make

a living.

Seems like forever.

Well, let me tell you, sonny boy, the

same thought crosses my mind at least once

a day.

Oh, Mom.

Gloria, you married the laziest white man I

ever seen.

All right, all right.

It's bad enough you got to make fun

of me.

You don't have to make it worse by

attacking a whole race.

Who's attacking a whole race?

You are.

You just said I was the laziest white

man you ever met.

What's the matter with that?

White man you ever met.

Yeah, you.

Implying that the blacks are even lazier.

Oh, now, wait a minute, meathead.

You said that, not me.

I never said your black beauties was lazy.

It's just their systems is geared a little

slower than the rest of us.

Come on.

You don't believe me?

Look it up.

There's just no fighting.

It's prejudice.

There's no hope for him.

No hope at all.

I'm not prejudiced.

Any man deserves my respect.

He's going to get it regardless of his

color.

What do you call names like black beauties

for?

Now, that's where I got you, Mr. Liberal.

Because there's a black guy that works down

the building with me, and he's got a

bumper and a sticker on his car that

says black is beautiful.

Huh?

So what's the matter with black beauties?

It's nicer than when he called them coons.

Black beauties is cozier with them, it's cozier

with me.

Hey, Lionel.

Hey, how's it going?

How you doing?

Come on in.

You know, in a way, we were just

talking about you.

Oh, yeah?

Mike.

Yeah, yeah.

Talking about their prejudice.

I'm glad you're here there, Lionel.

Yes, sir, Mr. Bunker.

These are for you, Mrs. Bunker.

A present from an admirer.

For me?

Oh, my goodness.

I ain't had a present for 10 years.

Gee, I wonder who it's from.

There's something I want to ask you, Lionel.

Now, wait a minute, Daddy.

Let her open her gift first.

If you wait 10 years, another minute ain't

going to kill her.

Come here, Lionel.

I want to ask your opinion on something

here.

Now, when you first started doing odd jobs

around the neighborhood, weren't the first guys to

throw a little work your way?

By the way, did you fix the TV

up in the bedroom?

Sure did, Mr. Bunker.

Yeah, that's swell.

Good boy of you.

Put that in your pocket there.

Cheaper than a repairman, believe me.

Is anybody talking to you?

Now, Lionel, you could say, by throwing you

these little jobs, that in a way, I

was helping you get some money so you

could go to college and you could become

a...

Electrical engineer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Would you ask your question already?

Will you keep your drawers on?

By the way, Lionel, that's a nice-looking

suit you got on.

I mean, it's classy.

It's different, you know?

I mean, it's quiet.

Where'd you get it?

Up in Harlem.

No.

Well, now, I got two more, but one's

yellow with stripes and the other's purple with

checks.

You know, for when I'm with my people.

Oh, yeah.

Well, anyway, Lionel, I would say that you

know me pretty good, wouldn't you?

Oh, yes, sir.

I got a bead on you already.

I know you real good.

Good, good.

Okay, all right.

Let's get to the point, huh?

Lionel, what he wants to know is if

you think he's prejudiced.

Prejudiced?

Yeah.

Against who?

Against black people.

Against black people?

Mr. Bonker?

Well, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever

heard.

Yeah, you see that, nice guy?

You thought you knew him.

You thought you knew me.

Oh, these liberals.

They're supposed to be so sensitive, you know?

Well, I'll tell you where this guy's sensitive,

Lionel.

Rightness took us.

Uh, where?

It's a Yiddish word.

It means, uh...

Oh, uh, I know where it's at.

Uh, I was just wondering, Mr. Bonker, what's

with the Jewish word?

Ah, well, I hear them.

We got a couple of heaps working down

the building.

Does he use words like that very often?

Now and then.

I told you.

I work with a couple of Jews.

Uh, begging your pardon, Mr. Bonker, but you

wouldn't happen to be one of them, would

you?

What?

Well, I mean, people don't use Jewish words

just like that, do they, Mike?

No, not in my experience.

Well, maybe people don't, but I do, and

I ain't no Yidd.

Come to think of it, uh, when your

father was visiting last year, wasn't his name,

uh, Davey or something?

My father's name was Davey, yeah.

Davey, right.

And what was your mother's name?

It was Sarah.

That's right, you had her.

My mother's name is Sarah.

So what?

Uh, David and Sarah.

Two Jewish names.

David and Sarah.

Two names right out of the Bible, which

has got nothing to do with the Jews.

Now, you don't want...

You don't want to get uptight about it,

Mr. Bonker.

There's nothing to be ashamed of being Jewish.

But I ain't Jewish!

Look at that.

Look at that.

See the way he uses his hands when

he argues?

That's a very Semitic gesture.

Why do you know about it, you dumb

Polack?

Uh, all right, I'm a Polack.

You sure are.

You're a Polack joke.

All right, but I don't mind, though.

I'm Polish, I don't mind.

I'm proud of it.

Now, there you are, Mr. Bonker.

Now, you ought to be proud you're Jewish.

But I ain't Jewish!

I didn't know you was Jewish.

What the hell are you talking about?

You of all people should know that I

ain't Jewish.

You are talking with your hands.

You see, the Jews tend to be emotional.

Now, listen to me.

Listen, I'm going to give you this once

more, and that's all.

I am not Jewish.

Yes, sir, Mr. Bonker.

But even if you are, it doesn't change

things between you and me.

I mean, I'm not going to throw away

nine years of friendship over a little thing

like that.

So long, everybody.

Well, I hate a smart alley kid, and

I don't care what color he is.

Well, I think I'll go up and lay

down and watch a little TV.

Now, wait a minute, Daddy.

Mom hasn't opened her gift yet.

Open it now, Mom.

Go ahead, Ma.

I just can't believe it.

Look, my hands are shaking.

Oh.

Oh, my.

Lace hankies.

Look, Gloria.

Your two beautiful lace hankies.

Is that all?

Wait a second.

Don't you want to know who it's from?

Yes.

Sit down, Daddy.

Come on.

There's a card there, Mom.

Open it.

Oh, those are the most beautiful hankies.

That's real lace.

And flowers.

I just never seen such...

Oh, my glory.

Come on, Edith.

Who are they from?

They're from you, Archie.

I can't hardly believe it.

It's been an anniversary gift from you since

the first year.

Pound is back, my friend.

Keep away from me, meathead.

Keep away.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to try using one.

You know, see how I look with it.

Some people don't look natural with fancy things.

Don't you look wonderful, Mom?

Perfectly natural.

Just don't blow it.

It'll go right through.

Oh, Archie.

I just don't know what to say except

thank you, sweetheart.

Oh, I do thank you, Archie, dear.

All right, all right, Edith.

You're getting me all wet.

Read the card, Edith.

Oh, Archie.

I'll bet it's a hallmark.

Well, pretty near.

Oh, there's a verse inside.

Together.

Through all the years I've been with you,

we've had our ups and downs, it's true.

But life with us has just begun.

We've yet to have all of our fun

as long as we're together.

What are you looking at?

And when my dear, this is sunny weather,

we'll look back on our lives and say

it's been a gay, gay lock together.

All right, all right.

Come on, will you?

It's the anniversary party.

Why don't you all get busy and clean

up the mess?

That Meg's over there is starting to foment.

Oh, Archie, I just don't know what to

say.

That was so beauti...

Oh.

You have to always be doing that.

It's as if she was a hamburger.

Card kind of got to you, huh?

What do you mean, got to me?

It got to your mother-in-law, women.

No, no, no, it got to you, too.

I never knew you were so soft and

sentimental.

Yeah, well, you don't know much anyhow.

And I want to tell you something about

yourself.

You are a person of very little quality.

Got no appreciation for some of your finer

things.

What are you...

Archie, we're talking about a greeting card.

They got some damn good writers writing for

them cards.

Come on.

Some of your best song lyrics come right

off them cards.

All right, all right.

What are you getting so excited about?

We're talking about a stinking little greeting card.

It's not like you wrote the thing.

No, I didn't write it.

But who had the good taste to pick

it out?

Go on, will you, meathead?

¶¶