Original subtitles

- Engleberg. - Let me see it.

Wait a second.

Glad to see you're still in training, Englebuns.

Keep it up, Stein.

Hey, Jose, Miguel.

Are you clods gonna sit on your butts all day...

or are we gonna play some ball?

- We're waiting for the coach. - To hell with the cruddy coach!

We gotta practice.

I know who he is. Get ready to shit.

- Who? - Not Buttermaker?

Worse. Mr. Manning.

Not Mr. Manning from the high school.

He's a mean dude.

Pushed our brother off the high dive for not knowing how to swim.

I hear he threw a basketball at a kid's face.

Busted his nose, blood all over the place.

And then he made the kid wipe it up.

Whatever you do, do not look into right field.

Look alive, gentlemen. Take your seats.

Now, let's begin.

Gentlemen, we have a serious game coming up...

in between a double-header at the Houston Astrodome.

We'll be in a professional arena.

We'll be in front of a lot of people.

The winner of this game will play a team in Japan.

Gentlemen, I expect to be prepared to win this game.

- Tanner Boyle? - Here.

Timothy Lupus?

- The Looper ain't here. - Where is he?

Looper broke his leg skateboarding.

Miguel Agilar?

Speak up, son.

Up, up! Atta-boy.

- Jose Agilar? - Here.

Have you got something in your mouth, son?

Gum.

Did I give anyone permission to chew gum?

- No, sir. - I'm gonna make this very simple.

If you want anything... I don't care what it is...

you come to me and ask my permission beforehand.

In other words, gentlemen...

don't...

assume anything.

That way you won't make...

an ass out of you or me.

Who sent this guy? Hitler?

What's your name, son?

- Elton. - Elton what?

John.

Do you have something to say to the group, Elton?

Then I suggest you pick up your stuff and get your ass out of here.

Well, what for?

Move it, Elton!

I said move it, now!

Jesus!

I don't want you back on this field till you can act like a ballplayer.

- Ahmad Abdul Rahim. - Here.

Why don't we just make that "Andy"? Make things a little easier?

- Andy? - Good.

- Hey, what's going on? - That guy kicked me off the team.

Gentlemen, I'm going to add another word to the board.

Let's see the bike, Kelly.

Son, I suggest you take...

- Now, son... - You talking to me?

I want you to get...

- Cool! - All right!

Hey, coach, take a walk! You've been fired!

'Nough! 'Nough!

You listen to me! You hear me?

I said listen to me!

You get off this field!

Shut up and sit down!

You'll never make it to Houston without a coach!

You come back here, or I'll break every bone in your body!

Come back here!

Hey, Big Looper.

Engleberg's here too. Here he is now.

Hey, Big Looper, what's going on? See your picture yet?

My dad took this last season. We just had it blown up.

- Great shot, huh? - Big Looper makes a big play.

Tanner's got something else.

An official Bears autographed ball. It's the only one in existence.

See, it's got everybody's name on it.

Thanks.

Everyone talks about how they wish you were going with us.

You mean if we�re going. We still don't have a coach or a pitcher.

What about the prize? The game in Japan?

Who wants to go to Japan, anyway? The food's terrible.

Looper...

if we win the prize, will you go with us next time?

Yeah.

- Hey, man! - Where have you been?

Hey, I hear you guys are still trying to get to Houston.

But now they won't let us go without a coach.

Are you still looking for a pitcher? 'Cause I got one for you.

Why? Are you gonna play?

Play with you turkeys? You're kidding.

- Well, who's the pitcher? - Yeah, who is it?

- You've never heard of him. - What's his name?

Carmen Ronzonni.

Come on, you guys. You can do it. You got rhythm.

Yeah, just move a little bit more.

Come on. The race ain't over yet.

Way to go, Rudi! Is that right!

All right. But you gotta move a little bit too.

Nice lookin' bunch of boys.

- Hey, come here for a second. - Hey, Rudi, come here.

Hey, guys. This is Carmen. Come on over here for a minute.

He played baseball back east.

Yeah, heavy action back east, man.

By way of introduction, I'm your basic versatile ball-thrower.

You see, like, all you guys have heard of Catfish Hunter, right?

Well, okay, then. Here is the Cat.

Man on first. Watch the head moving.

Back like this, and in.

Catfish Hunter.

You want Luis Tiant? You got this.

Luis Tiant.

You got a real sharp pitcher there. That's really where I'm coming from.

Jews, Spicks, Niggers and a Wop that throws air balls.

Tanner, come on. Ogilvie, Rudi, come here.

Hey, Kelly, what's this kid all about?

I don't want to pound the little one, but I can't go for the attitude.

- Don't worry. Tanner's cool. - Well, I can't go for it.

What about you, Kelly? Did you change your mind about playing?

- Yeah. - Get down!

- All right! - Way to go!

- But why did you change your mind? - I got my reasons.

Hey, you dumb jackasses, we still need a cruddy coach!

Hey, how bad do you guys want to play that game in Texas?

Well, we want to go to Japan.

If you really want to play, all chicken shits go home.

- We've got a coach. - Listen to Kelly, man.

- Who is it? - I'm looking right at him.

- Eastland? - Oh, my God!

You mean Lester? The walking bimbo?

He's so dumb, he can't even talk!

Like I said, Tanner, all chicken shits go home.

Now, who's with me?

What are we gonna tell our folks? That we got an idiot for a coach?

- That's crazy! - They'll never buy it!

Wait a minute. We'll tell them the truth.

Tell them the truth?

- So, listen, who is this fellow? - Oh, you mean Coach Eastland?

He's been with Parks and Recreation for years.

- This coach... - Lester.

- Lester what? - Eastland.

Eastland? Didn't I have a kid named George Eastland in class one year?

I don't know.

Listen, have you heard anything about Mike's new coach?

- No. There's a new coach? - Do you think he's a good coach?

Oh, sure. He's been around ball fields all of his life.

That makes him a good coach?

Who's going with you as a chaperone?

- Coach. - Coach who?

Eastland.

- Have you ever heard of him. - No, I haven't.

When are we gonna meet him?

Well, when we leave. You can drop me off there.

We're gonna leave from his house.

- How much did he say you need? - Twenty-five dollars?

Maybe a little more, huh?

I suppose so. I could run into a little trouble.

- Well, how much? - About 15.

But, honey, $15 is not very much money for you to be gone for a week.

- How are you gonna live and eat? - Let him starve.

Oh, Darrel, will you please?

About 20.

Seventy-five or eighty.

Four dollars.

For both of us.

How's he doing?

I got him to say, "Hello. How are you?"

Well, how about, "Glad to meet you"?

It's a possibility.

Hello. How are you?

All right. Well, bye.

Hello. How are you?

Hey, Coach, we're here!

Hello. How are you?

I'm Fred Engleberg. This is my wife Nancy.

I guess you know Michael. You take care of him for us.

Hello. How are you?

Hello. How are you?

Wow! Is this it?

This is it, man.

All right!

Hello. Hello. How are you?

Bye-bye.

- Take care, you hear? - Give me a hug.

- Bye, Mom. Be cool. - Call us if you need us.

Grab my bag, Tanner.

Take care of yourself.

Come on, get in.

Oh, wow!

Good-bye!

- Let's jam. - Yeah.

Good-bye.

- Look out, Astrodome, here we come! - Watch out, Texas!

Hey, are you sure you know how to drive this thing?

Listen, dude. I'm from Van Nuys. I was born to drive.

Where'd you guys get this van, anyway?

- I got a friend. - Yeah, he owed us a favor, see?

So, this is your friend's van?

Well, like, he borrowed it from another guy.

Well, who's the guy?

Oh, some dude who's out of town for the week.

My friend says, if we return the van in a week, we got no problem.

In other words, we're riding in a stolen vehicle.

We're going to the joint, man!

Let's look at the positive side.

Recent FBI figures estimate...

that only 20 percent of all car thieves are ever apprehended.

Only 14 percent in the first week that the theft occurs.

So at least the odds are in our favor.

Tell that to the guy behind us.

I knew it! Now we're going to the joint for sure!

Miguel, if you spit on me one more time...

Hey, can we be cool about this thing?

Now, it would help if one guy did the looking.

What's he doing?

He's not doing anything. Just driving.

I know what he's doing! He's calling in our license...

and he's making reservations at the joint!

Because that's where we're going! We're going to the joint!

- No, we're not! - Hold it, Tanner!

He's pulling alongside. He's making his move.

All right. Be cool.

All right! We did it!

Hey, you guys! Will you listen for a second?

Now, do you guys want to be real major league about this...

or do you want to act like some small-time assholes?

All right now, here's how they do it.

Everybody tosses what they got into one fund.

Except for a couple of bucks... personal dough, you know...

for toothpaste, towels, Trojans, or what have you.

And then we elect a treasurer...

and he watches over the books and pays the bills for the whole team.

You guys want me to be treasurer? Okay, fine.

- I want Ogilvie. - Yeah, Ogilvie.

- Ogilvie would probably be better. - Yeah, he's honest too.

Okay, you want Ogilvie? Fine.

- Let's all put it in the hat. - All right.

- Save a couple of bucks. - How much?

- We got plenty to get to Houston. - I still don't like the idea.

- One, two... - Count that again.

Hi. My parents sent me in. They're in the van there.

- We'd like to rent a room. - A double?

- Yeah. How much is that? - It's gonna cost you $24.

Let me check with my dad. Hey, Dad!

- Is $24 all right? - How many rooms?

One room, Dad.

- Get it. - We'll take it.

How come your folks didn't come in?

Well, ever since the big fire...

they've been quite self-conscious about showing themselves in public.

I mean, how much can plastic surgery really do?

- Come on, move it, Ahmad! - I'm moving.

Don't push me.

- I call that bed! - Hey, this is cool!

- Oh, no! We can't even use it! - What's wrong?

It's being sanitized. They've got it blocked off with paper.

Oh, great!

Let's call the Colonel!

Is this the only other bed in here?

How are we all gonna sleep here?

- I'm gonna sleep in this bed. - Hey, I called that bed!

Hey, nobody called nothing, man.

I called it right when I came in, you dumb Wop!

- That's it. - Fight!

Hey, he didn't mean it, all right?

Knock it off. He didn't mean it.

Aw, take the bed! Who needs it?

I'm going out to get something to eat.

Does anybody want to come?

Hey, what do you mean, biscuits and Cole slaw are extra?

Hey, how are you doing?

Sorry. I've got to see your ID.

- What for? - You've got to be 21.

Hey, what am I gonna do? Drink it?

- I'm sorry. That's the law. - Jesus!

When you're 21, you've been there and back.

How do they expect us young guys to learn anything?

Really, I don't.

- Shut the damn door! - I'll get you!

You're in the way!

All right, kiddies, it's library hour.

I got three Playboys. Now, who wants one?

Give me one!

Come on, now!

- Come on, right here! - You got it!

All right! We got one!

All right now, we got one more!

Come on, Carmen, please! Come on, Carmen!

I love it!

Oh, wow!

Hey, Toby, where'd Kelly go?

He said we were acting like idiots, and he just took a walk.

He looked kind of strange, though.

Hey, that's his style, you know? The last of the Lone Eagles.

Charles Lindbergh, James Dean, Kelly Leak.

Yeah, but who's this guy he knows in Houston?

Hey, just some guy he used to know.

Don't worry, now. Kelly's cool. He's cool.

Boys...

I haven't a thing to say.

You played a great game.

All of you.

A great game.

I guess we just can't expect to win 'em all.

I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years.

Tanner, would you shut that thing off?

None of you ever knew George Gipp.

That was long before your time.

But you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame.

And the last thing he said to me...

"Rock," he said...

"some time when the team is up against it...

and the breaks are beating the boys...

tell 'em to go out there with all they've got...

and win just one for the Gipper."

"I don't know where I'll be then, Rock," he said.

"But I'll know about it...

and I'll be happy."

Well, what are we waiting for?

Oh, no, Coach Eastland's one of the greatest drivers of all time.

He's always talking about safety and everything.

- He's really a great driver. - Come on!

Shh, would you? I'm on the phone. Anyway, don't worry about it.

I'll talk to you when I get home, okay, Mom?

Finally!

All right. Nice to see you.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Hey, please, no!

Won't your mother be disgusted when she finds her son is busted.

Footprints on the dashboard upside down.

Won't she scream in your ear when she finds you with that beer.

Grinnin ' and stumblin ' all around.

Come on!

Kelly, could we make a stop? I gotta go to the bathroom.

It happens!

Come on, Engleberg!

Wow, what an emergency!

- All that equipment! - And jackets. Look at that!

My time and distance charts say we should be in Houston by Thursday.

So we'll rent a room and get some sleep before we go to practice.

- Why are they staring at us? - Anybody got a peace pipe?

Hey, be cool.

Do you play baseball?

He wants to know if we play baseball.

Yeah, we play occasionally. You know, here and there.

We're playing the Dome this Sunday.

I think that's about it.

We play baseball too.

- Let's go, Tanner! - All right, Tanner!

- Come on, Tanner! - Let's get a home run!

Come on, Tanner!

- This one's going out of the park. - Let's get a home run!

- Come on, Tanner! - Let's go!

This one's going out of the US of A!

All right! Yes!

Run!

Lucky play!

- Wow! - Good try, Tanner!

- Off the rock? - Aw, they got the break.

Take away your rock, and you got nothing!

Let's go!

Go get him!

We can whip these guys! Let's go!

It's all right.

Come on, man! You got two more!

This guy can't pitch.

Come on, you're gonna stick this thing out!

- All right! - Come on, Ahmad! It's cool!

- Let's go! - Don't worry about it.

- Don't get mad. - Come on, Engleberg!

Go, Engleberg!

Go! You got it!

I guess that's what they mean by the home field advantage.

- Talk about luck. - Come on, you guys, let's get 'em!

Hey, Engleberg, come here.

There's something that me and you gotta talk about.

And that's signals. Signs. All right?

Now, one means fastball. Two, curve.

Three, slider. Four, knuckler. Five, sinker. Six, change-up.

Seven, screwball. And eight, dipsy-doodle.

Now, if you want something like an intentional walk...

then you just yell, "Intentional walk"...

'cause nobody gives a shit about that, anyway.

Have a good game.

All right!

Hey, batter, batter!

Come on, Carmen, let's go.

Hey, batter, batter, swing!

Sorry about that.

Hey, I thought you said you could pitch!

Yeah. Come on, just throw it down the middle. Trying to kill him?

Hey, I'm sorry about that. Really.

Hey, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean...

Hey, fellas, I said I was sorry.

Hey, you guys, listen. He's not doing it on purpose.

- He just needs more warm-ups. - He's just a cruddy pitcher!

Hey, listen, everything's cool. It's cool. I'm serious.

Are you crazy? You wanna get killed? You told me you could pitch.

Hey, no rosin, stinkin' field, no warm-ups.

Bullshit!

Shit, Carmen.

- Hey, batter! - Let's go!

Come on, get the ball!

Throw it in!

Relay!

Come on, get it, Miguel!

- Relay! - Throw it in!

- Come on! - Hey, batter!

Let's go. Batter up.

Come on.

Couldn't you throw it a little harder, please?

They're hitting every one you throw.

Come on, you guys! Look alive!

- What are you doing? - Come on, Engleberg!

Carmen, try to get at least one guy out.

Come on, we got him.

Great! It went in the graveyard!

- Forget it! - Terrific, Carmen!

Looks like we've been scalped.

- Anybody got change? - We've got money.

I've got money if anybody wants to borrow some.

"Dear Looper, Ronzonni makes me sick.

He can't even pitch. Nobody thinks we can win.

Your pal, Tanner Boyle.

P.S., I saw a good movie the other night.

You'd like it."

Hey, Kelly, can we make another stop?

Engleberg, can't you just...

I can't control things like this.

Hey, you guys, there's the Dome!

Oh, man! We're gonna be playing in that?

Hey, don't worry.

They're probably just a bunch of dirt farmers.

Couldn't throw the ball to save their grandmother.

Tell me about it.

Work, work, work!

Together!

Do it together!

Try to stay together!

And stop! All right, you got a big game coming up.

You're gonna do it together! Are you gonna win it?

- Sir, yes, sir! - Arms up!

Hey, how are you doing, Mr. Orlansky?

Call me Sy, please.

Well, they're looking real good, aren't they, Sy?

- Where the hell is the other team? - They'll be here any time now.

Listen, I understand they got some tough players out there.

They got some tough leagues in California.

- They should have been here by now. - They'll be here any time now.

- Carl! - What?

Listen, Sy, I just want to tell you how much we appreciate...

you getting us in your organization, getting us this Astrodome game.

I just want you to know you're gonna get your money's worth.

- Carl? - Sir.

What time are the Bears supposed to get here?

- This morning, as far as I know. - It's noon now!

Listen, Morrie, I don't want any problem here.

I got people to answer to. You get a team here tomorrow, latest!

- Yes, sir. - We'll get right on it.

Just as long as I don't have a problem, Morrie.

- That's all I ask. - No problem. No problem at all.

I can't afford to wait on this other team any longer.

I want you to get hold of El Paso and see if they're still available.

Well, what about the Bears?

Hell, he'll never know the difference.

Hey, how about it?

It's cool.

Hey, guys, come on.

- Thank God. - I'm going right to bed.

- Come on, Engleberg. - Oh, God, I'm tired.

Do you have any idea who owns that van out front?

Let's see. If I'm not mistaken, it belongs to a ball team.

What kind of ball team?

A ball team of midgets... what they looked like to me.

If you ask me, the ball team is clean.

I don't have no trouble from the little people.

But then again, you know, I can't be sure.

Oh, my God!

What in the hell is this?

All right, officers, let's get the kids right in here.

It's all over now. We're going to the joint for sure.

Come on!

Why don't you sit down so I can talk to you, okay?

Hey, folks, can you knock it off, please?

Can you knock it off a little?

Okay, I know from Mr. Ogilvie here that you're late for practice...

so I'm gonna make this as short as I can.

First of all, who was responsible for driving that van here?

What'd you guys do? Take turns or something like that?

Okay, we'll get back to that later. Who does that van belong to?

Okay, fellas, here's what we're gonna do.

We'll run a tracer on that vehicle to find out if there's a problem.

I'm gonna ask that everybody remain here in the lobby...

till we get this thing straightened out.

- Why? - Give me a break, man!

- What did we do? - One last question.

Who's your chaperone here?

- You mean our coach? - Yeah, your coach.

- Who is he? - He's not here right now.

Get him.

- Right now? - Right now.

- Where's he gonna go? - What's he gonna do?

- What about lunch? - Lunch?

We're gonna have lunch in the joint, because that's where we're going!

The joint! God!

Hey, thanks a lot.

Hey, Michael!

Hey, Michael Leak!

Michael?

Kelly?

Yeah. What's going on?

Not much. What are you doing here?

Playing baseball with a team called the Bears.

- Got a game out here. - In Houston?

Yeah.

I thought I'd be a nice guy and stop by and say hi.

That's great.

It's just a game.

No, I mean it's great that you stopped by.

Your cigarette.

So you're part of a team, huh?

Yeah.

What position are you playing?

I'm playing left.

Left field, huh?

I look different, don't I?

How's your mom?

She's okay.

You look a lot like her.

So they say.

Come on, Mike! I'm late!

Hey, I'll just sort of split. Take it easy.

Hey, Ruth, I want you to meet my kid Kelly from California.

Hey, no kidding?

- What are you doing out here? - Just visiting.

That's great. Come on, Mike. You promised.

Nice seeing you, Kelly.

Hey, listen, Michael. We need a coach.

- What? - The team. We need a coach.

Oh, hey, listen. I'm working full-time here now.

- How long is it gonna take? - The game's on Sunday.

Okay, you got a coach. What else can I do for you?

The team's in trouble back at the hotel.

How can you get in trouble at a hotel?

You don't know the Bears.

Stop that!

Look, I can't do anything about it.

- We worked hard all season... - Put out that butt, honky, now!

Give me a break, will ya? Come on.

Can you help me out here? Why don't you just go talk to her?

Please.

I'm Coach Leak.

Look, let's talk outside.

That's my old man.

Just so you know, I don't intend to stand in the way of their game.

Whatever happened on the road, I take it you weren't with them.

Well, whatever happened, it's not my jurisdiction.

So long as they have an adult, the van checks out...

I figure let's get 'em to the game so they can have a good time.

All right. Say, you got tickets to the game?

- No. - I'll see what I can do.

Oh! Thanks.

- Okay, take care of yourself. - Yeah.

Everything's okay.

Dear Looper...

Nobody even knew that Kelly had a father.

I don't think they like each other.

Your pal, Tanner Boyle.

I don't know if anybody told you, but we really don't need a coach.

We just need somebody to go onto the field with us.

So, we're gonna warm up for a while and make sure we're in good shape.

Okay. I'm just gonna go on over here.

If you all need me, just holler.

- I'll hit some out. - All right! Let's go!

Let's get 'em! All right!

Come on, Carmen. Right down the pipes.

That's a good pitch, Carmen. Good pitching.

Come on, Carmen. Let's go.

Hey, fellas, wait. Time out. Just a second.

- Hey, Kelly. - Come on!

You know, I might be a little rusty. Don't think I'm trying to bean you.

- Just throw the ball. - Yeah.

- Here we go again! - Come on! Let's get going!

I got it!

God! Are you trying to kill me over here?

Go for it, Jose!

- Thanks for not doing anything! - What the...

How could I miss that?

Crud!

- Come on, Miguel! - Get it!

Come on! Are we gonna be this good in the Astrodome?

Throw it to first!

Will you call the ball?

- I got it! - You do not!

Get the ball, Feldman!

- Get the ball, Jose! - It's your ball!

Get the goddamn ball, Feldman!

You get it! You hit it!

You turkeys can play by yourselves! God!

I'll get it!

Come on! Get it over, Carmen!

Let's hustle this.

- Come on, Tanner! Let's go! - Small strike zone.

- Come on! - Good practice, Carmen.

Right down the pipe! Let's go!

- Put it right in there. - Come on, Carmen.

What are you doing? He's got to play.

You spazzy Wop!

Jungle spaz! What are you trying to do?

- Cool it, man! - He can't even pitch!

We don't need you! Get out! I'm gonna kill you!

- Leave me alone! - Oh, God!

Oh, God! My nuts!

Get off of me! Get off! It hurts!

Ah, my stomach! Get off of my stomach!

I can't take it! Get off of my stomach!

- Come on! Knock it off! - Hey, you guys!

What do you say? You done practicing yet?

I don't want to rush you. I'm in no hurry.

Sir, I know things aren't looking all that sharp right now.

As a matter of fact, I'd say they're looking pretty piss poor.

Sometimes we're the Bad News Bears.

Sometimes we're just bad news, if you know what I mean.

Well, anyway, if there's anything you can do to straighten us out...

we'd all appreciate it.

Yeah.

Well, why don't we get cleaned up and go get some lunch?

I'll see what I can do.

"When asked why they made the journey, one ballplayer said...

'We came for the Looper'...

referring to their teammate who lies in a lonely bed...

unable to attend the game."

All right!

Hey, you guys!

Now that we've got Coach Leak, what does this mean for the Toros?

Bad News for the Toros!

All right!

- They're not gonna let us play! - They got another team!

What do you mean, they're not gonna let us play?

Wait a minute! What are you talking about?

Look!

What's going on here?

We didn't show up in time, and they're not gonna let us play.

Hold my glove. You guys wait here.

Come on! A little pepper ball in there, kid!

Very nice!

Hang onto that!

Great day, huh?

Oh, it's beautiful. Couldn't be better.

The kids tell me you're the Budweiser guy.

Yeah. Here, have a beer.

We're sponsoring games like this all across the country now.

Greatest thing in the world for baseball.

Kind of making the American dream come true, huh?

I'm Mike Leak, coach of the Bears.

- Sy Orlansky. - Good to meet you, Sy.

Nice bunch of little ballplayers you got there.

I've been watching them all morning.

Those aren't the Bears.

The Bears are over there.

You mean, those aren't the kids in the paper?

Those are the kids in the paper.

But these are the California champs.

No, those aren't the California champs.

There's the California champs.

I thought we were getting the California champs.

Well...

Hey, kid, tell your coach to come on over here, will ya?

- How are you doing there, Sy? - Morrie, what's with the mix-up?

There ain't no mix-up, Sy.

We had to bring in another team 'cause the first team was a no-show.

They're standing right behind you!

- Where the hell's their coach? - Coach? Right here.

Hi, Morrie.

I'm Mike Leak. I've heard a lot about you.

Well, now... I just... Now, wait a minute, fellas.

Here you go. Have a beer, Morrie.

Morrie, come here a minute!

Tell El Paso to go home.

But, Sy, they just got here this morning.

Listen to me! Look at this. The morning paper?

These kids come all the way out here on their own...

to win the prize for their little friend.

That's a good story, Morrie. People like a good story.

I want this team, Morrie. The team in the paper.

Shouldn't be such a big thing, huh?

Catch you in the Dome, Morrie.

Is that who we're supposed to play?

- Yeah, I guess so. - I knew they'd be wimps.

I thought they were sending us bears, not pygmies.

Why don't you just shut your cruddy mouth, you redneck ass?

Why don't you make me, little man?

Hey, Tanner! Cool it, man!

We'll get 'em later. Come on, man. Don't worry.

Nothing, twerp.

Yeah, look here!

Kids! You're gonna play!

But what about a place to stay? We still don't have a place to stay.

Tanner, give Mr. Orlansky a fresh beer.

Leak, would you believe me if I tell you I want these kids to be happy?

I want you to be happy. I want the whole darned world to be happy!

Well, I don't know, Sy. I've only known you a few minutes.

What would you say if I told you...

Anheuser-Busch is gonna put you all up personally?

Wow! Look at this!

- All right! - Get down!

Look! Guys, look! The Astrodome!

- Success! - We got a color TV!

- Come on! - Your room is bigger!

- Where are you? - In 324!

You can see the Dome from our room!

Let's go!

Hey, Kelly!

Everybody's in 325.

Think! Think!

All right! Way to go!

Engleberg, with you it's gonna take a lot more than thinking...

but we're gonna get it done.

Surround the ball. Clear it.

Right at his chest each time. Once more, Carmen.

Think. Bad hop or anything.

That's it. Back to the plate.

Try to always aim at the first baseman's chest.

Once more, Carmen.

Over to first, all right? Right to his chest.

Charge it now. That's it. Now throw it to first.

Good throw. Back to the plate. That's it.

Get set now.

- Where you going if you get it? - First!

Come on. Stay with it! Pick it up! Let's see the throw.

Charge it. That's it. Come on!

Good throw. All right. That's it. Now get set.

When you get the ball, take one and off this foot.

All right!

That's it. Stay with it.

Good arm. What do you say, handsome? You wanna try it?

Let's go. Get on there. Get set.

Okay, that's it. Good arm.

- We got a champ there. - Looking good.

Get set on the ball.

Come on, Kelly. Let's go. Give it a try.

- Oh, I think I can do it. - Come on.

What do you mean, you can do it? Let's go. Give it a try.

Let's see your arm.

All right. Come on, Rudi. Give it a shot. Let's go.

Stay down. Over the ball, right?

Get set for it. Watch the ball now. Come on, Carmen. Knock it down here.

Wow!

One more time. Sense of playing together. Move the ball around.

That's it. Now over to first. Come down here, Carmen.

- You wanna get two. - Come on, Tanner. Hold onto those!

Come on. Get on it.

That's the way. Come on, Tanner. That's it.

- All right! Nice catch! - Yeah!

- We're moving it now. Let's go. - All right!

You guys are doing great backing each other up.

We're cooking. Let's go.

Up! Good arm. Good shot, Toby. Way to go.

- All right, Miguel! Nice catch! - Good arm.

All right. Keep the ball in front of you. That's it!

This spells doom for the Toros.

Attack the ball. Good try. Stay with it.

We're gonna make a shortstop out of you if it's the last thing we do.

All right!

- All right! - Nice catch!

Now, look. We're all using only one hand.

We gotta use two hands when you catch.

Two hands. And you want to step into the ball when it's in the air...

so you're catching and throwing in the same motion.

You catch and throw in the same motion, right?

One-handed, you drop the ball. You can't handle it well.

That's why you have two hands.

Come on, Toby. Come in here and field some.

You hit them out.

And get rid of the cigarette, for Christ's sake.

- Tell me about the catcher. - Oh, that's Chip Roberts.

He was voted most valuable player three years in a row.

What about that man who just slid into second base?

That's Mick Fincher. Very fast. Stole 35 bases last season.

Thank you. You've been very helpful.

That's okay. Do you need anything else?

Uh, no, this is plenty. Yes.

Well, are you gonna stay in Texas long?

'Cause we'd really like to show you around some.

I'm sorry, but we leave right after the game.

But thanks anyway.

- Bye! - Bye-bye. I'm in love.

Nice of you to stop by, Ogilvie. Where you been? What's cooking?

Well, under normal circumstances...

I would pray for rain, except it doesn't rain in the Astrodome.

- That good, huh? - Last season they were undefeated.

Eighteen to zero.

Mr. Leak, Ronzonni's getting wilder all the time.

He says he's caught between his Catfish Hunter and his Warren Spahn.

Yeah? We'll have to help him out.

Carmen, throw me that ball.

Huh? Oh, you mean just throw it?

Yeah. Throw it in here.

It appears to be all right, doesn't it?

Let's see it again.

- Come again. One more. - Hey, come on.

Come on. Just hit me right here in the glove once more.

- Come on. - All right.

Now, listen. Cut out the bullshit windups.

Forget about Warren Spahn and Catfish Hunter.

I want to see you throw the ball like Carmen Ronzonni.

Step up there and throw the ball.

Come on, Mike. Get down there. Give him a big target.

Just look at the glove and throw the ball.

That's all it is. Throw the ball right into the glove.

- All right! - See? That's it. Come on.

Come on. Just throw the ball right to... Big target now, Mike.

Always give him a good target to throw to.

Hey, baby!

- All right? Keep practicing that. - All right!

- Give him a good target each time. - That's great!

You're getting it now.

Come on, Rudi. Attack it. Back him up. That's it.

- That's it. - Good throw.

Come on. That's it, Miguel. That a boy.

All right. What's with the cigarette bit?

That's it. Stay with it! Come on, Ahmad.

That a boy. You know, you look silly.

Who do you think you are, my father?

You angry at me for something?

Because if you�re angry at me for something, I wanna know about it.

What do you want from me?

You wanted me to be the coach of this team, so I'm the coach.

Now you want to call this whole thing quits or what?

Put out the cruddy cigarette, Kelly!

- Tell me what you want me to do. - I want nothing!

You want me to go?

- Come on, Kelly. Put it out! - Kelly, just put out the cigarette.

Listen, I am not out here for my health. I'm out here for you.

Yeah, you sure?

- Come on, you guys. Back up. - You don't do that to me!

- You got that? You don't do that. - Come on! Let's hustle!

Get out of the way before you get hurt.

Did you hear that? I said, no one does that to me.

- Come on! Move your asses! Let's go! - Hey, I don't need you.

- You hear that? I don't need you! - All right! Good catch!

- I don't need any of you! - Good throw, Ahmad!

- Go! - Do you hear that? I don't need you!

- And I don't need any of you! - We're moving now. We're cooking.

Come on, you guys. Let's go.

Hey, you're Kelly Leak, aren't you?

I hear you�re pretty good.

They think they're great 'cause they got their pictures in the paper.

Everyone knows they're just a bunch of flaming Hollywood faggots.

Move.

Yes, sir.

Have you seen their coach?

Yeah, now they got a big faggot to go along with all them little fag...

You're dead, faggot! You're a dead man.

And the temperature today hit a high of65 degrees.

- Tonight's low will be 45. - Anybody seen Kelly?

- His stuff is still in his room. - Well, is he playing or not?

Hey, don't worry about Kelly. He's cool. Don't worry about him.

- Shut up. We're next. Quiet. - Yeah, we're next.

Sunday's charity game at the Astrodome is almost a sellout...

but that doesn't seem to bother a group of boys from California.

Sheila Lansing has the story.

I'm standing in a downtown hotel...

where the California champs, the Bears...

are preparing for their big game Sunday at the Astrodome.

- All right! - Yeah! Whoa!

I talked with some of the players about the game. Ahmad?

- Yeah! All right! - Ahmad!

How do you feel about playing in such a big place as the Astrodome?

Well, Sheila, we've worked hard all season...

and I think we've got what it takes to do the job.

Do I sound like that?

Our base running's come along real good...

so I'd have to say that I'm real positive about the game.

We're expecting a real good game.

- All right! - I sound stupid!

Hey, I'm next.

Next, I talked to right fielder Miguel Agilar.

- All right, Miguel! - Whoo!

What happened? I was next.

How do you feel about playing in the Astrodome?

This is Sheila Lansing in downtown Houston.

Good shot.

Listen, hard ass. You stuck me with a bunch of kids...

down at the hotel who say they can't play without you.

What do you wanna do about that?

Huh? Are you gonna play, or are you gonna quit or what?

Don't you think your friends have a right to know?

Look, I'm sorry I got hot at you.

This whole thing's about something else.

Maybe we should think about that.

Maybe we should deal with the fact we're just a couple of strangers.

You didn't recognize me at the plant.

You didn't know it was me, did you?

Listen, it's been a long time.

It's been eight years.

Do you know why I know it's been eight years?

Because on the day you left...

you gave me this little blue bicycle.

I was five years old... this little punk kid.

You gave me the bicycle thinking if I accepted it, I'd accept the deal.

Well, you were wrong.

I didn't accept that bicycle.

It's eight years old, it's untouched and it's still in my basement.

Listen, you wanna be your own man, right?

Well, you gotta remember one thing.

Being angry at me for the mistakes I've made...

ain't gonna change what happened.

Maybe.

Tell me something.

If you didn't need a coach...

would you have looked me up?

You should think about that.

Dear Looper, today is the game.

I hope we win, but it will be hard without Kelly.

Your pal, Tanner Boyle.

- Miguel, what's it like? - Yeah, what is it like?

What about Kelly? Did anyone talk to him?

Hey, he'll be here. Don't worry.

Hey, Bears, you got five minutes.

- Well, when's he coming? - Soon.

How do you know that?

Hey, wait a minute.

You guys play baseball all the time, don't you?

But not without Kelly.

- How can we play without him? - The same way you play with him...

the best that you can.

Come on. Let's go. Put your chairs up.

Let's get this straight.

All we gotta do is concentrate on what we worked on.

And what we worked on was thinking, right?

We worked on using our heads. That's where our skills are.

You're gonna use your heads at the plate and in the field on defense.

Before Ogilvie reads off the lineup, anybody got anything they wanna say?

I got something to say.

Now, we all know that Timmy couldn't come with us...

but if we go out there...

and win one for the Looper...

he'll know about it, and he'll be happy.

Okay, Bears. Let's go!

Well, what are we waiting for?

- All right, Kelly! - Way to go!

I knew you would be here.

What does this mean to the Toros?

Bad News for the Toros!

Let's go!

Ladies and gentlemen, there's a special...

between-games attraction for you this afternoon.

The Houston Astrodome, along with the Anheuser-Busch Corporation...

is presenting a special four-inning game...

between the undefeated champions of Texas, the Houston Toros...

and the pride of the West Coast, the California Bears.

Those are the kids I was telling you about from California.

Whoa!

Get them up!

Nice throw.

- Let's go! - I'm never gonna make it!

Hold on there a minute, son.

- There you go. - My God. You just saved my life.

All right!

Hey, Ronzonni! Let's go, boy!

Let's play ball!

Leading off for the Toros, second baseman Leon Watersag.

Strike!

Strike two!

Strike three! You're out!

- All right, Carmen! - All right!

All right, you guys. We got one.

- I did it! - You did it!

All right!

Way to go, Tanner!

Let's go! You can do it, Carmen! You can do it!

Strike!

What do you say, Mac? What do you say?

All right, Carmen. Nobody gets on base!

Come on. Play it second! Second!

All right, Ahmad! Way to use your head!

Frenchy, that a way to go!

What do you say, Frenchy?

- All right. - There's a fast man on first.

Keep your eye on him, Carmen. Take your time, Carmen. Bear down.

All right!

He's going!

- Where'd you get it, in the shin? - Are you okay?

I hope he didn't hurt the baby bear!

Come on, guys. Get back to your positions.

- Are you okay? - Come on.

- Just let me play! - All right. Wait a second.

- How's your leg? Is it all right? - Yeah.

I don't want you to play hurt. You sure you can play?

- Yeah. - I could bring Ogilvie out here...

and put him on short, huh?

Let's go.

- Okay, batter. - Come on, Carmen.

Chip Roberts. He can't throw him a fastball.

Carmen, number three, babe. Three.

You can't throw him a change-up, either.

A two-run homer.

At the end of one half inning, the score is the Houston Toros, two...

the California Bears, nothing.

Way to go, Carmen. Way to pitch.

Way to use your head out there, Ahmad.

- We'll get it back. Let's go. - Sure.

- Use your head up there, Tanner! - The shortstop, Tanner Boyle.

Pitching for the Toros, Ed Simpson.

Hey, give him a toothpick.

- Aim at my shoelaces. - Better shut up, you redneck.

Okay, boy. Come on, now. Let's play now.

Shut up!

Come on, big fella! Let's play ball!

- Dumb ass! - Okay, come on! Let's go!

Come on, Tanner. Think!

Come on, now. Come on! Hustle!

You're out!

One out. The batter's center fielder Ahmad Abdul Rahim.

All right, Ahmad. Come on, man. Think!

- Give this guy a look. - This guy ain't got nothing.

He's out!

All right, Michael. You're the boss in there now.

- Be tough. Let's go. - Hey, look what we got here.

You got a big enough target.

Don't pay attention to him.

Come on, Mike.

Run, you big lard ass!

- Out! - All right!

After one inning, the score remains...

the Houston Toros, two, the California Bears, nothing.

Give him that mask, Ogilvie. All right. Big target now. Let's go.

Come on, Carmen. Burn it in there!

Ball four. Take your base.

- Oh, man, that was a strike! - Same place, catch.

Bear down. Think. Throw strikes.

What is this, a baseball game or the Fourth of July?

That runs the score to the Houston Toros, five, the Bears, nothing.

After an inning and a half, the Bears coming to bat.

Run it!

Stand up! Hold up!

Way to go!

Come on. You got one of the Marx Brothers up here.

Come on, Toby. Now let's move them around.

Way to go! Way to hustle!

All right. One down, Kelly. One out. Protect yourself.

- Fire them in there! Let's go! - All right, Miguel! Come on!

- You're the boss! - Come on!

Tag up!

Go!

He's coming home!

- Throw the ball! - He's out!

Easy out!

All right.

And the score, after two complete innings...

is the Toros, five, the Bears, nothing.

Okay, I'm sorry, but the game's called.

- We're out of time. - Time.

Game is called.

- The game's not over yet. - I'm sorry. It's over.

Let's go home, fellas. That's it.

Can they do that?

No, they can't do that. Hey.

Hey, you guys, where you going?

What about the Looper?

We're not finished!

- We had a four-inning game. - Just a minute.

We have finished. We're out of time. You didn't play it fast enough.

Don't play what fast enough? A game is a game.

- The game is called. Who's ahead? - He's ahead.

- You win the game. - We won it!

All right!

- You said the game was set up. - The game is over!

Come on. Let the kids play the game. What are you shutting it off for?

We're not finished! The game isn't over yet!

They said four innings!

- Hey. - It's Bob Watson and Cesar Cedeno!

They told us we'd have four innings, but they only let us have two.

- We'll meet you in the park, Morrie. - Up yours, Sonny.

- We'll settle this in the park. - Up yours!

- You guys got a lot of pull here. - Hell, let's get going.

Hey, you guys. Look at Tanner!

Look at Tanner. All right!

No! Take that!

Leave me alone! The game ain't over!

- Go, Tanner! - Come on, Tanner!

I don't know.

Look at the little kid!

Leave me alone!

Go, Tanner! Go!

Come back. Come back here right now! Come back here!

- This is terrible. - Come on, Tanner.

Come on! Let the kids play!

Let them play!

It's the top of the third inning, the Houston Toros at bat.

With one out, Scott York is on first base...

Les Kern at bat.

Here we go again. All right.

You're out! You're out!

Two and a half innings, the score remains...

five to nothing.

You better back up, sucker! I feel good!

- Strike! - You feel good, huh?

Strike two!

Let's go!

I feel better than ever.

I run like a butterfly, I sting like a bee!

I ran through second, and I'm standing on three!

You're a hitter now!

All right! Let's go!

The score after three innings...

the Toros, five, the Bears, two.

All right, Carmen. Come on. Let's go!

- Yeah! - We're getting it going now!

We're getting it going! Yes!

Strike!

Come on! Watch the ball, will you?

- Keep your head up! - Strike three! You're out!

That ball! Somebody hit the ball, will you?

All right! Okay, calm down.

- Let's go! Run, damn it! Run! - Safe!

Mr. Leak, Fincher on first again.

Time out!

Put the ball into your glove, right?

You just keep looking for a little bit of a signal.

When he leads off, tag him out.

- Let's go. Come on. - Come on, Carmen!

Hold your breath.

All right. Get up! That's it!

- I got him! - You're out!

He never ducked!

What a cheap, cotton-picking California faggot trick!

Come on! Keep alive out there!

In the bottom of the fourth, the score remains...

the Houston Toros, five, the California Bears, two.

Last inning, you cruds! Let's get them!

- All right! - Let's get them!

- Come on, Simpson. - Base running! Let's go!

Come on. What more do you want?

- All the way! - You're a hitter! Let's go!

All right!

- You're out! - Hold up!

Toby, in there, you go halfway!

If it goes through, take third.

Come on. This is supposed to be the home run team.

- Strike one! - Kelly, you're the boss!

Come on, Kelly! Put me in!

Let's see something.

Let's go!

Hold up!

Way to go!

All right, handsome. Let's go!

- There's one! - Strike one!

- I'm gonna hit it. - Strike two!

Come on, handsome. I wanna see you down here!

Strike three! You're out of here!

Toby, two outs! Two down! You can go in on anything!

I wanna see something!

Bring them in! Move them around! You're the tying run! Let's go!

Come on, Simp! Strike him out!

- You all right? - I'm all right.

You want a runner? All right. Stay on that bag.

- Stay awake, Kel! Two down! - Let's get him out!

All right. Heads up now, Carmen. You're the winning run!

What do you say, Carmen?

Hey, that's what we're here for, right?

Let's go!

We want a hit!

Ball!

Come on, Carmen! Stay awake!

Everybody through!

Come on, now.

Put it in here!

Go!

Go home!

Go!

Safe!

Hey, we did all right, didn't we?

Yeah.

Hey...

remember when you asked me if I would've...

stopped by if we didn't need a coach?

I was wrong. I would have.

All right.