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03 Shrek The Third - Animation 2007 English
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Onward, Chauncey!
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To the highest room
of the tallest tower...
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where my princess awaits rescue
from her handsome Prince Charming!
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This is worse than "Love Letters".
I hate dinner theatre!
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Me, too.
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Whoa there, Chauncey!
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Hark! The brave Prince Charming
approacheth.
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Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay
the monster that guards you...
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then take my place as rightful king.
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What did she say?
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It's Shrek!
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Whoo, Shrek, yeah!
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Prepare, foul beast...
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to enter into a world of pain
with which you are not familiar!
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00:01:56,514 --> 00:01:59,074
Happy birthday to thee
Happy birthday to thee.
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00:01:59,217 --> 00:02:00,479
Do you mind?
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00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,981
Do you mind? Boring!
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00:02:08,493 --> 00:02:10,825
Prepare, foul beast...
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Someday you'll be sorry.
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We already are!
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Mommy...
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You're right. I can't let this happen.
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I can't!
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I am the rightful King of Far Far Away.
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And I promise you this, Mother...
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I will restore dignity to my throne.
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And this time,
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no one will stand in my way.
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00:03:38,082 --> 00:03:39,743
Good morning.
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Good morning.
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Morning breath.
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I know. Isn't it wonderful?
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Good morning, good morning.
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The sun is shining through.
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Good morning, good morning
To you.
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And you! And you!
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They grow up so fast.
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00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:06,435
Not fast enough.
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00:04:08,512 --> 00:04:11,208
You'll be filling in
for the King and Queen.
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00:04:11,349 --> 00:04:14,546
Several functions
require your attendance, sir.
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00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:17,984
Great! Let's get started.
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00:04:18,122 --> 00:04:20,955
Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving!
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You need to get a pair of jammies.
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I got some sleep and I needed it.
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00:04:34,872 --> 00:04:37,602
Not a lot, just a little bit.
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00:04:37,742 --> 00:04:40,836
Someone's always
trying to keep me from it.
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It's a crying shame.
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It's a royal pain in the neck
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I knight thee.
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If you're filling in for a king,
you should look like one.
52
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:16,838
Can somebody come in
and work on Shrek?
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00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:20,173
I will see what I can do.
54
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,033
Yeah, wow.
55
00:05:43,874 --> 00:05:46,365
Is this really necessary?
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00:05:47,144 --> 00:05:48,805
Quite necessary, Fiona.
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00:05:48,946 --> 00:05:51,744
- I'm Shrek, you twit.
- Whatever.
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00:05:51,882 --> 00:05:55,579
This isn't a rehearsal, peoples.
Let's see some hustle!
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Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
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00:05:57,788 --> 00:06:01,246
I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up.
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00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:04,327
I'm sorry, but can you
just try to grin and bear it?
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00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:06,487
It's just until Dad gets better.
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00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:09,897
Shrek?
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You look handsome.
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Come here, you.
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00:06:29,253 --> 00:06:33,917
My but is itching up a storm and
I can't reach it in this monkey suit.
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00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,694
Hey, you! Come here. What's your name?
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Fiddlesworth, sir.
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Perfect.
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00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:46,467
Ladies and gentlemen...
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Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek!
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Ahh! You've got it.
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A little to the left.
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00:06:58,783 --> 00:07:00,978
That's it! That's good.
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00:07:01,118 --> 00:07:04,212
Oh, yeah! Scratch
that thing! You're on it.
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00:07:04,355 --> 00:07:05,788
Shrek!
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My eye!
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00:07:11,962 --> 00:07:13,122
What are you doing?
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Fiona!
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- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
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Shrimp! My favourite!
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- That's it! We're leaving!
- Calm down.
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Calm down? Who do you think
we're kidding? I am an ogre.
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00:07:51,402 --> 00:07:54,997
I'm not cut out for this, Fiona,
and I never will be.
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I think that went well.
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00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:01,806
Donkey!
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00:08:01,946 --> 00:08:03,675
Come on, Shrek!
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00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:07,412
Some people just don't
understand boundaries.
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00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:21,290
Just think. A couple more days
and we'll be back home...
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00:08:21,432 --> 00:08:24,731
in our vermin-filled shack
strewn with fungus...
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00:08:24,869 --> 00:08:27,770
and filled with the stench
of mud and neglect.
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00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:30,533
You had me at "vermin-filled".
93
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:36,210
And, um... maybe even the piter-pater
of little feet on the floor.
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00:08:36,714 --> 00:08:39,410
That's right, the swamp rats
will be spawning.
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00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:40,915
Uh, no.
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00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:44,748
What I'm thinking of is a little bigger
than a swamp rat.
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00:08:44,889 --> 00:08:45,913
Donkey?
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00:08:46,056 --> 00:08:49,719
No, Shrek. What if, theoretically...
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00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:53,122
they were little ogre feet?
100
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,937
Honey, let's be rational about this.
101
00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:05,439
Have you seen a baby lately?
102
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:08,773
They just eat and poop, and they cry...
103
00:09:08,913 --> 00:09:12,280
then they cry when they poop
and poop when they cry.
104
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:15,214
Now, imagine an ogre baby.
105
00:09:15,352 --> 00:09:19,152
They extra-cry and they extra-poop.
106
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:22,885
Shrek, don't you ever think
about having a family?
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00:09:23,027 --> 00:09:26,588
Right now, you're my family.
108
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Somebody better be dying.
109
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I'm dying.
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Harold?
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00:09:42,613 --> 00:09:45,707
Don't forget
to pay the gardener, Lillian.
112
00:09:45,849 --> 00:09:47,783
Of course, darling.
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Fiona.
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00:09:50,721 --> 00:09:52,245
Yes, Daddy?
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00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:55,119
I know I made many mistakes with you.
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It's okay.
117
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But your love for Shrek has...
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00:10:00,798 --> 00:10:02,197
taught me much.
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00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:06,326
My dear boy...
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00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:09,735
I am proud to call you my son.
121
00:10:09,873 --> 00:10:13,001
And I'm proud to call you my frog...
122
00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:15,577
King dad-in-law.
123
00:10:15,713 --> 00:10:21,310
Now there is a mater
of business to attend to.
124
00:10:31,662 --> 00:10:34,654
The Frog King... is dead.
125
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,808
Put your hat back on, fool.
126
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:46,534
Shrek...
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00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:48,338
please come hither.
128
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,547
Yeah, Dad?
129
00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:56,847
This kingdom needs a new king.
130
00:10:58,188 --> 00:11:02,852
You and Fiona
are next in line for the throne.
131
00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:08,726
Next in line. You see, Dad,
that's why people love you.
132
00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:12,199
Even on your deathbed,
you're still making jokes.
133
00:11:15,873 --> 00:11:19,570
Come on, Dad. An ogre as king?
134
00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:22,235
That's not such a good idea.
135
00:11:22,379 --> 00:11:25,678
There must be somebody else. Anybody!
136
00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:31,015
Aside from you, there is
only one remaining heir.
137
00:11:31,155 --> 00:11:34,352
Really? Who is he, Dad?
138
00:11:34,491 --> 00:11:36,550
His name is...
139
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:38,986
is...
140
00:11:39,129 --> 00:11:40,756
What's his name?
141
00:11:40,898 --> 00:11:42,490
Is...
142
00:11:44,401 --> 00:11:45,493
Daddy!
143
00:12:02,753 --> 00:12:04,721
His name is Arthur.
144
00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:06,254
Arthur?
145
00:12:10,594 --> 00:12:13,791
I know you'll do...
146
00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:16,593
what's right.
147
00:12:19,636 --> 00:12:20,967
Harold?
148
00:12:21,105 --> 00:12:22,663
Dad? Dad!
149
00:12:24,108 --> 00:12:25,336
Dad?
150
00:12:25,943 --> 00:12:27,535
Do your thing, man.
151
00:12:57,474 --> 00:13:01,342
When you were young and your heart.
152
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:03,639
Was an open book.
153
00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:09,779
You used to say live and let live.
154
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,253
You know you did, you know you did
You know you did.
155
00:13:14,057 --> 00:13:19,120
But if this ever changing world
In which we live in.
156
00:13:19,997 --> 00:13:24,161
Makes you give in and cry.
157
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:28,831
Say live and let die.
158
00:13:32,276 --> 00:13:33,937
Live and let die.
159
00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:14,213
Hey, lady You, lady.
160
00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:17,380
Cursing at your life.
161
00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:20,717
You're a discontented mother.
162
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:25,054
And a regimented wife.
163
00:14:50,754 --> 00:14:53,917
What does a prince
have to do to get a drink here?
164
00:14:55,259 --> 00:14:56,954
Ah, Mabel!
165
00:14:57,094 --> 00:15:01,497
Why they call you an ugly stepsister,
I'll never know.
166
00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:05,693
Where's Doris? Taking the night off?
167
00:15:05,836 --> 00:15:09,602
She's not welcome here,
and neither are you.
168
00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:13,300
What do you want, Charming?
169
00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:17,504
Not much. Just a chance at redemption.
170
00:15:19,116 --> 00:15:20,583
And a Fuzzy Navel.
171
00:15:20,717 --> 00:15:23,777
And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends!
172
00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:29,852
We're not your friends.
173
00:15:32,062 --> 00:15:34,189
You don't belong here.
174
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:38,495
You're absolutely right,
but, I mean, do any of us?
175
00:15:38,635 --> 00:15:40,262
Do a number on his face.
176
00:15:40,404 --> 00:15:45,000
Wait, wait, wait!
We are more alike than you think.
177
00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:49,044
Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs
saved Snow White, and what happened?
178
00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:50,271
Oh, what's it to you?
179
00:15:50,414 --> 00:15:52,678
They left you the unfairest of them all.
180
00:15:52,816 --> 00:15:57,344
Now here you are,
hustling pool to get your next meal.
181
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:59,318
How does that feel?
182
00:16:04,795 --> 00:16:06,387
Pretty unfair.
183
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,929
And you!
184
00:16:08,065 --> 00:16:12,695
Your star puppet abandons the show
to go and find his father.
185
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,297
I hate that little wooden puppet.
186
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,408
And Hook.
187
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,134
Need I say more?
188
00:16:23,847 --> 00:16:26,611
- And you, Frumpypigskin!
- Rumpelstiltskin.
189
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,378
Where's that first born
you were promised?
190
00:16:31,788 --> 00:16:35,690
Mabel. Remember how you
couldn't get your little fat foot...
191
00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:37,726
into that tiny glass slipper?
192
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:43,924
Cinderella is
in Far Far Away right now...
193
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:49,095
eating bonbons, cavorting with
every last fairy tale creature...
194
00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,707
that has ever done you wrong!
195
00:16:51,842 --> 00:16:56,779
Once upon a time, someone decided
that we were the losers.
196
00:16:56,913 --> 00:16:59,780
But there are
two sides to every story...
197
00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:02,475
and our side has not been told!
198
00:17:02,619 --> 00:17:07,488
So who will join me? Who wants
to come out on top for once?
199
00:17:07,624 --> 00:17:09,285
Who wants their...
200
00:17:09,426 --> 00:17:12,589
"happily ever after"?
201
00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:31,441
This way, gents.
202
00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:47,821
It's out of my hands, senorita. The
winds of fate have blown on my destiny.
203
00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:51,764
But I will never forget you.
You are the love of my life.
204
00:17:51,902 --> 00:17:54,336
As are you.
205
00:17:54,471 --> 00:17:56,837
And, uh, you.
206
00:17:56,973 --> 00:18:00,136
I don't know you, but I'd like to.
207
00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:02,642
I got to go!
208
00:18:04,047 --> 00:18:05,742
I don't wanna leave you either.
209
00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:08,715
But you know how Shrek is.
The dude's lost without me.
210
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:12,986
But don't worry. I'll send you
airmail kisses every day!
211
00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:15,689
Be strong, babies.
212
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:18,260
Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama.
213
00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:22,388
Bananas, no roasting marshmallows
on your sister's head.
214
00:18:24,401 --> 00:18:26,028
That's my special boy!
215
00:18:26,169 --> 00:18:29,263
Come here, all of you!
Give your daddy a big hug!
216
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:37,177
Shrek?
217
00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:42,481
Maybe you should just stay and be King.
218
00:18:42,619 --> 00:18:46,146
Come on. There's no way
I could run a kingdom.
219
00:18:46,289 --> 00:18:49,281
That's why your cousin Arthur
is a perfect choice.
220
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:51,951
It's not that. You see...
221
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:56,555
And if he gives me trouble,
I always have persuasion and reason.
222
00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:00,033
Here's persuasion... and here's reason.
223
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:03,838
Fiona...
224
00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:07,239
soon it's just going to be you, me...
225
00:19:07,377 --> 00:19:09,038
and our swamp.
226
00:19:10,881 --> 00:19:13,372
It's not going to be just you and me.
227
00:19:14,651 --> 00:19:16,551
All aboard!
228
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,554
It will be. I promise.
229
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,215
I love you.
230
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:31,494
That's lovely.
231
00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:33,227
Bye-bye, babies!
232
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:42,004
Shrek!
233
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:45,441
- Wait!
- What is it?
234
00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:47,072
I'm... I'm...
235
00:19:51,087 --> 00:19:52,952
I love you, too, honey!
236
00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:55,922
No! I said I'm...
237
00:19:58,929 --> 00:20:00,362
You're what?
238
00:20:00,497 --> 00:20:02,931
I said I'm pregnant!
239
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,570
What was that?
240
00:20:08,705 --> 00:20:11,765
You're going to be a father!
241
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,407
That's great!
242
00:20:15,545 --> 00:20:18,810
Really? I'm glad you think so!
243
00:20:18,949 --> 00:20:20,348
I love you!
244
00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:22,474
Yeah!
245
00:20:22,619 --> 00:20:24,951
Me, too! You!
246
00:20:28,825 --> 00:20:32,317
I'm going to be an uncle!
I'm going to be an uncle!
247
00:20:32,462 --> 00:20:35,522
And you, my friend, are royally...
248
00:21:14,237 --> 00:21:15,237
Home.
249
00:21:27,517 --> 00:21:28,848
Shrek!
250
00:21:31,187 --> 00:21:32,518
Fiona!
251
00:21:36,526 --> 00:21:37,857
Fiona?
252
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,479
Oh, no.
253
00:22:01,651 --> 00:22:04,552
Better out than in, I always say.
254
00:22:14,230 --> 00:22:15,561
No, no, no!
255
00:22:17,734 --> 00:22:20,294
It's okay. It's gonna be all right.
256
00:22:25,575 --> 00:22:27,736
Stop! Hey, wait!
257
00:23:17,127 --> 00:23:18,651
Donkey. Donkey!
258
00:23:18,795 --> 00:23:20,023
Wake up!
259
00:23:22,465 --> 00:23:23,796
Dada!
260
00:23:26,236 --> 00:23:28,227
Shrek! Are you okay?
261
00:23:29,973 --> 00:23:35,502
I can't believe I'm going to be
a father. How did this happen?
262
00:23:35,645 --> 00:23:39,843
Allow me to explain. When a man
has feelings for a woman...
263
00:23:39,983 --> 00:23:42,508
a powerful urge sweeps over him.
264
00:23:42,652 --> 00:23:45,143
I know how it happened.
265
00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:48,048
I just can't believe it.
266
00:23:50,827 --> 00:23:52,658
How does it happen?
267
00:23:59,669 --> 00:24:04,936
And the cat's in the cradle
and the silver spoon.
268
00:24:05,074 --> 00:24:07,702
Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon.
269
00:24:07,844 --> 00:24:10,438
When you coming home, son?
I don't know when.
270
00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:12,878
But we'll get together then, Dad.
271
00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:15,007
Donkey! Can you just cut to the part
272
00:24:15,151 --> 00:24:17,676
where you're supposed
to make me feel better?
273
00:24:18,421 --> 00:24:20,946
You know I love Fiona, boss. Right?
274
00:24:21,090 --> 00:24:25,151
What I am talking about
is you, me, my cousin's boat...
275
00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:30,892
an ice cold pitcher of mojitos
and two weeks of nothing but fishing.
276
00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:32,899
Don't listen to him!
277
00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:35,732
Having a baby
isn't going to ruin your life.
278
00:24:35,872 --> 00:24:40,400
It's not my life I'm worried
about ruining, it's the kid's.
279
00:24:40,543 --> 00:24:44,843
When have you ever heard the phrase
"as sweet as an ogre"...
280
00:24:44,981 --> 00:24:47,415
or "as nurturing as an ogre"...
281
00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:51,919
or "You'll love
my dad. He's a real ogre."
282
00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:53,818
Okay. I get it.
283
00:24:53,957 --> 00:24:57,415
It's not going to be easy.
But you got us to help you.
284
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,255
That's true.
285
00:24:59,395 --> 00:25:00,862
I'm doomed.
286
00:25:00,997 --> 00:25:02,658
You'll be fine.
287
00:25:03,566 --> 00:25:05,466
You're finished.
288
00:25:07,737 --> 00:25:10,399
Uh, with your journey.
289
00:25:18,581 --> 00:25:23,018
"Wor-ces-ters-shiree"?
Now that sounds fancy!
290
00:25:23,152 --> 00:25:24,483
It's Worcestershire.
291
00:25:24,621 --> 00:25:26,452
Like the sauce?
292
00:25:26,589 --> 00:25:27,920
It's spicy!
293
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:33,592
They must be expecting us.
294
00:25:39,502 --> 00:25:42,300
What in the shista-shire
kind of place is this?
295
00:25:42,438 --> 00:25:47,637
Well, my stomach aches and my palms
just got sweaty. Must be a high school.
296
00:25:47,777 --> 00:25:48,937
High school?
297
00:25:49,078 --> 00:25:50,636
Ready? Okay!
298
00:25:50,780 --> 00:25:53,214
Wherefore art thou headed, to the top?
299
00:25:53,349 --> 00:25:57,308
Yeah, we think so, we think so! And
dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped?
300
00:25:57,453 --> 00:25:59,921
Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not!
301
00:26:05,194 --> 00:26:09,187
All right, Mr. Percival,
ease up on the reins.
302
00:26:12,535 --> 00:26:16,232
For lo, bro, don't burn
all my frankincense and myrrh.
303
00:26:16,372 --> 00:26:19,864
I'm feeling nauseous from memories
of wedgies and swirlies!
304
00:26:20,009 --> 00:26:24,673
How did you receive wedgies when you are
clearly not the wearer of underpants?
305
00:26:24,814 --> 00:26:27,715
Let's just say some things
are better left unsaid.
306
00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:31,911
So I was all like, "I'd rather get
the black plague than go out with you."
307
00:26:32,055 --> 00:26:34,387
- Oh, totally.
- Pardon me.
308
00:26:34,524 --> 00:26:37,322
- Totally ew-eth.
- Yeah, totally.
309
00:26:38,928 --> 00:26:41,522
I just altered my character level
to +3 superb-ability.
310
00:26:41,664 --> 00:26:44,224
Hi. We're looking for someone named...
311
00:26:44,367 --> 00:26:48,895
Who rolled a +9 dork spell and
summoned the beast and his quadruped?
312
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:55,234
I know you're busy not fitting in, but
can you tell me where I can find Arthur?
313
00:26:55,378 --> 00:26:56,675
He's over there.
314
00:27:16,866 --> 00:27:21,269
There is no sweeter taste
on thy tongue than victory!
315
00:27:23,706 --> 00:27:26,573
Strong, handsome, face of a leader.
316
00:27:26,709 --> 00:27:30,042
Does Arthur look like a king or what?
317
00:27:31,214 --> 00:27:32,545
Sorry.
318
00:27:33,282 --> 00:27:35,910
Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
319
00:27:36,052 --> 00:27:38,486
That information is
on a need-to-know basis.
320
00:27:38,621 --> 00:27:40,316
It's top secret!
321
00:27:40,456 --> 00:27:44,051
Now, gentlemen, let's away.
To the showers!
322
00:27:46,562 --> 00:27:48,189
Greetings, Your Majesty.
323
00:27:48,331 --> 00:27:49,889
This is your lucky day.
324
00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:52,826
What are you supposed to be?
325
00:27:52,969 --> 00:27:56,234
Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun
or something?
326
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,732
Giant mutant... You made a funny.
327
00:28:01,244 --> 00:28:03,178
Unhand me, monster!
328
00:28:03,312 --> 00:28:05,280
Stop squirming, Arthur.
329
00:28:05,415 --> 00:28:07,747
I'm not Arthur.
330
00:28:09,752 --> 00:28:12,277
I am Lancelot.
331
00:28:12,422 --> 00:28:15,084
That dork over there is Arthur.
332
00:28:21,164 --> 00:28:23,359
This is, like, totally embarrassing...
333
00:28:23,499 --> 00:28:26,093
but Tiffany thinkest
thou vex her so smoothly.
334
00:28:26,235 --> 00:28:29,636
She thought perchance thou would
ask her to the Homecoming Dance.
335
00:28:29,772 --> 00:28:30,864
Excuse me?
336
00:28:31,007 --> 00:28:34,943
Like, whatever. She's into college guys
and mythical creatures.
337
00:28:38,381 --> 00:28:40,474
Oh, Arthur...
338
00:28:40,616 --> 00:28:44,313
come out, come out, wherever you are!
339
00:28:46,355 --> 00:28:48,983
You better run,
you little punk no-goodniks!
340
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:52,526
The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers
are over!
341
00:28:58,634 --> 00:28:59,965
Hold it.
342
00:29:00,636 --> 00:29:02,695
We're here for the mascot contest.
343
00:29:07,376 --> 00:29:10,573
We're here for the mascot contest, too.
344
00:29:10,713 --> 00:29:13,238
This is a costume?
345
00:29:13,382 --> 00:29:15,373
Worked on it all night long.
346
00:29:16,719 --> 00:29:18,516
Looks pretty real to me.
347
00:29:18,654 --> 00:29:21,054
If he were real, could I do this?
348
00:29:22,725 --> 00:29:24,386
Or this?
349
00:29:25,661 --> 00:29:30,530
If it were real, that would have been
agonizingly painful.
350
00:29:30,666 --> 00:29:33,863
- Now watch this!
- That's quite enough, boys.
351
00:29:34,003 --> 00:29:37,803
Thank you to Professor Primbotom
and his lecture...
352
00:29:37,940 --> 00:29:39,339
on "just say nay".
353
00:29:40,276 --> 00:29:44,542
And now, without further ado, let's give
a warm Worcestershire hoozah...
354
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,172
to the winner
of our mascot contest, the...
355
00:29:49,352 --> 00:29:50,352
ogre?
356
00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:54,719
That's right. I'm the new mascot.
357
00:29:54,857 --> 00:29:58,486
So let's really try and beat
the other guys at...
358
00:29:58,628 --> 00:30:01,756
whatever it is they're doing!
359
00:30:05,301 --> 00:30:08,293
This is all a bit unorthodox...
360
00:30:08,437 --> 00:30:12,100
Where can I find Arthur Pendragon?
361
00:30:14,377 --> 00:30:15,867
Hey, wait...
362
00:30:19,982 --> 00:30:21,609
Classic.
363
00:30:21,751 --> 00:30:23,446
You should be ashamed of yourself!
364
00:30:23,586 --> 00:30:25,986
I didn't do it. They did.
365
00:30:30,793 --> 00:30:32,522
Please don't eat me.
366
00:30:32,662 --> 00:30:34,994
Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!
367
00:30:35,998 --> 00:30:38,660
I'm not here to eat him!
368
00:30:40,136 --> 00:30:42,764
Time to pack up
your toothbrush and jammies.
369
00:30:42,905 --> 00:30:45,135
You're the new King of Far Far Away.
370
00:30:45,274 --> 00:30:46,935
What?
371
00:30:48,477 --> 00:30:52,675
Artie a king?
More like the Mayor of Loserville!
372
00:30:57,420 --> 00:30:58,420
Burn.
373
00:31:02,024 --> 00:31:03,150
Is this for real?
374
00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:07,695
Absolutely. Clean out your locker, kid.
You have a kingdom to run.
375
00:31:07,830 --> 00:31:10,492
So, wait... I'm really the only heir?
376
00:31:11,834 --> 00:31:13,165
The one and only.
377
00:31:14,503 --> 00:31:16,164
Give me a second.
378
00:31:18,507 --> 00:31:20,168
My good people...
379
00:31:20,309 --> 00:31:23,039
there's a lesson here for all of us.
380
00:31:23,179 --> 00:31:27,479
Next time you're about to dunk a kid's
head in a chamber pot, stop and think,
381
00:31:27,617 --> 00:31:30,108
"Hey, maybe this guy has feelings."
382
00:31:30,853 --> 00:31:33,219
Maybe I should cut him some slack.
383
00:31:33,356 --> 00:31:36,723
'Cause maybe... just maybe...
384
00:31:36,859 --> 00:31:40,556
this guy's gonna turn out to be,
I don't know, a king?
385
00:31:40,696 --> 00:31:45,724
"Maybe his first royal decree will be to
banish everyone who ever picked on him."
386
00:31:45,868 --> 00:31:48,735
I'm looking at you, jousting team!
387
00:31:49,071 --> 00:31:52,268
And Guin? Oh, Guin.
388
00:31:53,142 --> 00:31:54,473
I've always loved you.
389
00:31:56,345 --> 00:31:58,905
Good friends, it breaks my heart, but...
390
00:31:59,048 --> 00:32:02,540
enjoy your stay here in prison
while I rule the free world!
391
00:32:02,685 --> 00:32:04,277
Okay, let's not overdo it.
392
00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:07,753
I'm building my city, people...
on rock 'n' roll!
393
00:32:07,890 --> 00:32:09,755
You just overdid it.
394
00:32:18,901 --> 00:32:20,528
Look at you!
395
00:32:20,670 --> 00:32:22,194
You look darling.
396
00:32:22,338 --> 00:32:24,533
Just precious. Look at her.
397
00:32:24,674 --> 00:32:27,040
Any cravings since you got pregnant?
398
00:32:27,176 --> 00:32:29,804
No. Not at all.
399
00:32:30,646 --> 00:32:32,375
Do you smell ham?
400
00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:35,643
It's present time!
401
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:41,581
Fiona, please open mine first.
It's the one in front.
402
00:32:41,724 --> 00:32:46,354
"Congratulations on your new
mess mak..." Oh, mess maker!
403
00:32:46,495 --> 00:32:49,487
"Hopefully this helps.
Love, Cinderella."
404
00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:52,494
- Look at that!
- What is it?
405
00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,538
It's for the poopies.
406
00:32:56,672 --> 00:32:58,230
Wait... babies poop?
407
00:32:58,374 --> 00:32:59,705
Everyone poops, Beauty.
408
00:32:59,842 --> 00:33:01,309
Fiona!
409
00:33:01,444 --> 00:33:04,277
We all chipped in
for a little present, too.
410
00:33:05,181 --> 00:33:06,739
Ta-da!
411
00:33:07,950 --> 00:33:10,783
You know the baby will love it,
because I do!
412
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,889
Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you.
413
00:33:14,023 --> 00:33:15,422
Who's this one from?
414
00:33:15,558 --> 00:33:18,493
I got you the biggest one,
because I love you most.
415
00:33:18,627 --> 00:33:21,687
"Have one on me. Love, Snow White."
416
00:33:24,533 --> 00:33:26,160
What is it?
417
00:33:26,302 --> 00:33:27,826
He's a live-in babysitter.
418
00:33:27,970 --> 00:33:29,062
Where's the baby?
419
00:33:29,205 --> 00:33:33,266
You're too kind, Snow,
but I can't accept this.
420
00:33:33,409 --> 00:33:35,775
It's nothing. I have six more at home.
421
00:33:35,911 --> 00:33:37,674
- What does he do?
- Cleaning.
422
00:33:37,813 --> 00:33:39,405
- Feeding.
- Burping.
423
00:33:39,548 --> 00:33:42,016
So, what are
Shrek and I supposed to do?
424
00:33:42,151 --> 00:33:44,278
Work on your marriage.
425
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:48,288
Thanks, Rapunzel.
What's that supposed to mean?
426
00:33:48,424 --> 00:33:52,451
Come on now, Fiona.
You know what happens.
427
00:33:53,396 --> 00:33:55,421
You're tired all the time.
428
00:33:55,564 --> 00:33:57,293
You start letting yourself go.
429
00:33:57,433 --> 00:33:58,593
Stretch marks.
430
00:33:58,734 --> 00:34:00,065
Say goodbye to romance.
431
00:34:02,405 --> 00:34:05,841
I'm sorry, but how many
of you have kids?
432
00:34:05,975 --> 00:34:07,533
She's right!
433
00:34:07,676 --> 00:34:12,113
A baby will only strengthen the love
Shrek and Fiona have.
434
00:34:12,248 --> 00:34:15,081
How did Shrek react when you told him?
435
00:34:16,252 --> 00:34:19,415
When he first found out, Shrek said...
436
00:34:32,268 --> 00:34:36,602
Onward, my new friends!
To our happily ever afters!
437
00:34:42,278 --> 00:34:44,439
Now... bombs away!
438
00:35:00,963 --> 00:35:03,830
Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan.
439
00:35:03,966 --> 00:35:06,434
- His name's not Peter.
- Shut it, Wendy.
440
00:35:24,987 --> 00:35:28,650
Enough pillaging! To the castle!
441
00:35:47,009 --> 00:35:48,476
You go! Take care of the baby!
442
00:35:48,611 --> 00:35:51,774
Everybody stay calm! We're going to die!
443
00:35:56,185 --> 00:35:58,312
Everyone in! Now!
444
00:35:58,454 --> 00:36:00,581
Come on! Put some back into it!
445
00:36:03,926 --> 00:36:05,416
We don't have time. Now go!
446
00:36:05,561 --> 00:36:07,358
Quickly, ladies!
447
00:36:09,632 --> 00:36:11,190
We'll hold them off as long as we can!
448
00:36:26,882 --> 00:36:29,282
Where are Shrek and Fiona?
449
00:36:29,418 --> 00:36:31,579
The name doesn't ring a bell.
450
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,415
No bell.
451
00:36:33,556 --> 00:36:36,923
I suggest you freaks cooperate...
452
00:36:37,059 --> 00:36:39,653
with the new King of Far Far Away!
453
00:36:39,795 --> 00:36:43,492
The only thing you're ever gonna
be king of is King of the Stupids!
454
00:36:43,632 --> 00:36:45,930
- Hook!
- Right!
455
00:36:46,068 --> 00:36:48,298
Avast, ye cookie.
456
00:36:50,906 --> 00:36:52,567
Start talking.
457
00:36:56,946 --> 00:36:58,436
- Gingy!
- Papa!
458
00:36:58,581 --> 00:36:59,946
Settle down now.
459
00:37:13,929 --> 00:37:17,228
On the good ship Lollipop.
460
00:37:17,366 --> 00:37:20,802
It's a sweet trip to the candy shop.
461
00:37:20,936 --> 00:37:21,936
You!
462
00:37:22,771 --> 00:37:24,966
You can't lie.
463
00:37:25,107 --> 00:37:28,770
So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek?
464
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:35,011
Well... I don't know where he's not.
465
00:37:35,150 --> 00:37:37,345
You don't know where Shrek is?
466
00:37:37,486 --> 00:37:40,080
It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume...
467
00:37:40,222 --> 00:37:44,488
that I couldn't exactly not say that
is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
468
00:37:44,627 --> 00:37:45,992
So you do know where he is!
469
00:37:46,128 --> 00:37:48,653
On the contrary,
I'm possibly more or less
470
00:37:48,797 --> 00:37:51,027
not definitely rejecting the idea
471
00:37:51,166 --> 00:37:54,829
that in no way,
with any amount of uncertainty...
472
00:37:54,970 --> 00:37:55,970
Stop it!
473
00:37:56,105 --> 00:37:58,232
I do not know where he shouldn't be.
474
00:37:58,374 --> 00:38:00,842
If that indeed wasn't where he isn't.
475
00:38:00,976 --> 00:38:04,571
Even if he wasn't not where
I knew he was, it could mean...
476
00:38:04,713 --> 00:38:06,943
On the good ship Lollipop.
477
00:38:07,082 --> 00:38:11,485
Enough! Shrek went off
to bring back the next heir!
478
00:38:14,490 --> 00:38:16,287
He's bringing back the next heir?
479
00:38:16,425 --> 00:38:17,915
No!
480
00:38:19,161 --> 00:38:22,358
Hook! Get rid of this new "King".
481
00:38:22,498 --> 00:38:24,363
But bring Shrek to me.
482
00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:27,697
I have something special
in mind for him.
483
00:38:27,836 --> 00:38:29,997
He'll never fall for your tricks!
484
00:38:31,674 --> 00:38:33,335
Oh, boy.
485
00:38:43,185 --> 00:38:46,211
I can't believe it. Me, a king?
486
00:38:46,355 --> 00:38:49,381
I knew I came from royalty, but...
487
00:38:49,525 --> 00:38:51,618
I figured everyone forgot about me.
488
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,491
Oh, no. In fact the King
asked for you personally.
489
00:38:55,631 --> 00:38:58,191
Really? Wow.
490
00:38:59,535 --> 00:39:01,765
But I know it's not all fun and games.
491
00:39:01,904 --> 00:39:04,896
It really is
all fun and games, actually.
492
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,635
Sure, you have to knight a few heroes,
launch a ship or two.
493
00:39:08,777 --> 00:39:13,111
By the way, make sure you hit the boat
just right with the bottle.
494
00:39:13,248 --> 00:39:16,046
Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle.
495
00:39:16,885 --> 00:39:19,820
Well, I've heard
it's harder than it looks.
496
00:39:19,955 --> 00:39:21,923
This is going to be huge.
497
00:39:22,057 --> 00:39:26,926
Parties, princesses,
castles. Princesses.
498
00:39:27,062 --> 00:39:29,929
You'll be living in the lap of luxury.
499
00:39:30,065 --> 00:39:32,533
The finest chefs
will wait for your order.
500
00:39:32,668 --> 00:39:35,637
And fortunately,
you'll have the royal food tasters.
501
00:39:35,771 --> 00:39:37,466
What do they do?
502
00:39:37,606 --> 00:39:42,202
Taste the food before the King eats,
to make sure it's not poisoned.
503
00:39:42,344 --> 00:39:44,938
- Poisoned?
- Or too salty.
504
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,607
Don't worry. Your bodyguards
will keep you safe.
505
00:39:48,751 --> 00:39:51,015
All of them willing
at a moment's notice
506
00:39:51,153 --> 00:39:53,986
to lay down their lives
out of devotion to you.
507
00:39:54,123 --> 00:39:55,556
Really?
508
00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:58,717
The whole kingdom will look
to you for wisdom and guidance.
509
00:39:59,094 --> 00:40:01,028
Make sure they don't die of famine!
510
00:40:01,163 --> 00:40:02,892
- Or plague.
- Plague is bad.
511
00:40:03,031 --> 00:40:05,932
The coughing, the groaning,
the festering sores.
512
00:40:07,503 --> 00:40:11,940
Festering sores!
You are one funny kitty cat.
513
00:40:12,608 --> 00:40:14,007
What did I say?
514
00:40:14,143 --> 00:40:16,509
We don't want Artie
getting the wrong idea.
515
00:40:17,279 --> 00:40:18,439
Artie?
516
00:40:22,718 --> 00:40:24,481
There goes my hip!
517
00:40:24,620 --> 00:40:26,781
Artie! What are you doing?
518
00:40:28,724 --> 00:40:30,851
What does it look like?!
519
00:40:33,529 --> 00:40:35,997
This really isn't up to you.
520
00:40:36,131 --> 00:40:38,998
I don't know anything about being king!
521
00:40:39,134 --> 00:40:41,068
You'll learn on the job!
522
00:40:42,971 --> 00:40:45,496
Sorry, but I'm going back.
523
00:40:45,641 --> 00:40:48,075
Back to what? Being a loser?
524
00:40:51,647 --> 00:40:53,205
Now look what you did!
525
00:40:53,982 --> 00:40:57,816
Look what I did? _ Who's
holding the wheel, chief?
526
00:40:58,821 --> 00:41:00,311
Shrek!
527
00:41:12,668 --> 00:41:14,659
Land ho!
528
00:41:27,182 --> 00:41:29,013
How humiliating.
529
00:41:30,018 --> 00:41:32,953
Oh, nice going, Your Highness.
530
00:41:33,088 --> 00:41:36,785
Now it's "Your Highness"?
What happened to "loser"?
531
00:41:36,925 --> 00:41:39,826
If you think this is getting you
out of anything, it isn't.
532
00:41:39,962 --> 00:41:43,728
We're heading back to Far Far Away
one way or another...
533
00:41:43,866 --> 00:41:46,300
and you're going to be a father!
534
00:41:46,435 --> 00:41:47,868
What?
535
00:41:48,704 --> 00:41:50,262
You just said "father".
536
00:41:50,405 --> 00:41:53,135
King! You're going to be king!
537
00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:56,267
"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right.
538
00:41:57,479 --> 00:41:58,912
Where are you going?
539
00:41:59,047 --> 00:42:01,515
Far Far Away... from you!
540
00:42:01,650 --> 00:42:03,618
Get back here, young man!
541
00:42:05,587 --> 00:42:08,078
Boss? I don't think he's coming back.
542
00:42:08,223 --> 00:42:11,420
Maybe it's for the best.
He's not exactly king material.
543
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,791
When did you plan to tell him
you were supposed to be king?
544
00:42:14,930 --> 00:42:17,763
Come on. Why would I do that?
545
00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:20,960
Besides, he'll be ten times
better at it than me.
546
00:42:21,103 --> 00:42:25,062
Then change your tactics
if you want to get anywhere with him.
547
00:42:27,409 --> 00:42:29,240
You're right, Donkey.
548
00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:33,104
What about this?
549
00:42:33,248 --> 00:42:37,082
- Shrek!
- Come on. It's just a joke.
550
00:42:38,654 --> 00:42:39,985
Still...
551
00:42:56,772 --> 00:42:58,433
Listen, Artie.
552
00:42:59,007 --> 00:43:04,138
If you think this whole mad scene
ain't dope, I feel you, dude.
553
00:43:04,279 --> 00:43:08,409
I'm not trying to get up in your grill
or raise your roof.
554
00:43:08,550 --> 00:43:10,677
But what I am screaming is, yo...
555
00:43:10,819 --> 00:43:14,016
check out this
kazing thazing, bazaby!
556
00:43:14,156 --> 00:43:16,249
If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying
557
00:43:16,391 --> 00:43:19,326
ain't straight tripping,
say, "Oh, no, you didn't!"
558
00:43:19,461 --> 00:43:21,895
You're getting on my last nerve."
559
00:43:22,030 --> 00:43:25,022
And then I'll know it's...
I'll know it's wack!
560
00:43:26,635 --> 00:43:27,829
Help!
561
00:43:27,970 --> 00:43:31,371
I've been kidnapped by a monster
who's trying to relate to me!
562
00:43:31,506 --> 00:43:35,135
- Artie, wait.
- Come on! Help! Hello?
563
00:43:36,645 --> 00:43:40,342
Greetings, cosmic children
of the universe.
564
00:43:40,482 --> 00:43:42,416
Welcome to my serenity circle.
565
00:43:42,551 --> 00:43:46,681
Please leave any bad vibes
outside the healing vortex.
566
00:43:46,822 --> 00:43:48,653
Now prepare to...
567
00:43:54,329 --> 00:43:57,162
I knew I should have got that warranty!
568
00:44:00,068 --> 00:44:01,535
Mr. Merlin?
569
00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:03,137
You know this guy?
570
00:44:03,271 --> 00:44:07,537
Yeah. He was the school magic teacher,
until he had his nervous breakdown.
571
00:44:07,676 --> 00:44:11,043
Technically, I was merely a victim
of a level 3 fatigue.
572
00:44:11,179 --> 00:44:13,272
At the request of my therapist,
573
00:44:13,415 --> 00:44:17,044
and the school authorities, I retired
to the tranquillity of nature
574
00:44:17,185 --> 00:44:19,346
to discover my divine purpose.
575
00:44:20,856 --> 00:44:24,257
Can I interest anyone
in a snack or beverage?
576
00:44:24,393 --> 00:44:25,485
Uh, no.
577
00:44:25,627 --> 00:44:28,960
Sure you don't want to try
my Rock Au Gratin?
578
00:44:31,867 --> 00:44:33,334
It's organic.
579
00:44:33,468 --> 00:44:35,902
Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in.
580
00:44:36,038 --> 00:44:38,973
We need directions to Far Far Away.
581
00:44:39,107 --> 00:44:41,632
"We"? Who said I was going with you?
582
00:44:41,777 --> 00:44:46,146
I did. People are counting on you,
so don't try to weasel out of it.
583
00:44:46,281 --> 00:44:48,340
If the job's so great, you do it.
584
00:44:48,884 --> 00:44:53,150
Understand this, kid. No more
Mr. Nice Guy from here on out.
585
00:44:53,288 --> 00:44:55,586
That was your Mr. Nice Guy?
586
00:44:55,724 --> 00:44:57,658
Yeah, and I'm going to miss him.
587
00:44:57,793 --> 00:45:02,196
Why don't you go terrorize a village
and leave me alone!
588
00:45:02,330 --> 00:45:06,858
Was that a crack about ogres? You get
your royal highness to Far Far Away...
589
00:45:07,002 --> 00:45:11,029
before I kick it there!
Now, which way am I kicking?
590
00:45:11,173 --> 00:45:13,004
I could tell you, but since you're
591
00:45:13,141 --> 00:45:15,666
in the midst
of a self-destructive rage spiral,
592
00:45:15,811 --> 00:45:18,336
it would be karmically irresponsible.
593
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:22,143
Self-destructive?
Are you going to help us or not?
594
00:45:22,284 --> 00:45:24,878
Most definitely, but only after you
595
00:45:25,020 --> 00:45:28,217
take the journey to your soul!
596
00:45:28,356 --> 00:45:29,721
I don't think so.
597
00:45:29,858 --> 00:45:33,692
It's either that
or primal scream therapy.
598
00:45:35,764 --> 00:45:38,426
All right. Journey to the soul.
599
00:45:39,267 --> 00:45:41,132
Now, all of you,
600
00:45:41,269 --> 00:45:43,794
look into the Fire of Truth
601
00:45:43,939 --> 00:45:46,931
and tell me what you see.
602
00:45:49,778 --> 00:45:51,643
Ooh, charades!
603
00:45:51,780 --> 00:45:56,547
Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte
with cinnamon swirls!
604
00:45:56,685 --> 00:45:59,279
Okay, monster... go for it.
605
00:46:07,963 --> 00:46:09,658
I see a rainbow pony.
606
00:46:09,798 --> 00:46:11,732
Excellent work! Now the boy.
607
00:46:11,867 --> 00:46:13,334
This is lame.
608
00:46:13,468 --> 00:46:15,732
You're lame! Now just go for it.
609
00:46:17,305 --> 00:46:18,636
Okay.
610
00:46:19,474 --> 00:46:23,911
There's a baby bird and a father bird
sitting in a nest.
611
00:46:24,045 --> 00:46:26,036
Yes! Stay with it!
612
00:46:26,882 --> 00:46:30,875
The dad just flew away. Why did
he leave the little bird all alone?
613
00:46:31,553 --> 00:46:34,989
It's trying to fly,
but it doesn't know how to.
614
00:46:35,891 --> 00:46:38,052
It's going to fall!
615
00:46:42,898 --> 00:46:46,891
Proper head case you are.
Really messed up.
616
00:46:50,238 --> 00:46:55,232
Okay, I get it. The bird's me.
My dad left. So what?
617
00:47:07,255 --> 00:47:09,917
Look, Artie, um...
618
00:47:14,262 --> 00:47:17,026
Just thought I'd help set the mood...
619
00:47:17,165 --> 00:47:20,498
for your big heart-to-heart chat.
620
00:47:28,944 --> 00:47:32,277
I know what it's like
to not feel ready for something.
621
00:47:34,616 --> 00:47:36,948
Even ogres get scared.
622
00:47:37,786 --> 00:47:40,619
You know... once in a while.
623
00:47:42,624 --> 00:47:46,390
I know you want me
to be king, but I can't.
624
00:47:46,528 --> 00:47:49,395
I'm not cut out for it,
and I never will be.
625
00:47:50,298 --> 00:47:52,789
Even my own dad knew
I wasn't worth the trouble.
626
00:47:52,934 --> 00:47:56,131
He dumped me at that school
first chance he got...
627
00:47:56,805 --> 00:47:59,137
and I never heard from him again.
628
00:48:00,809 --> 00:48:04,643
My dad wasn't really
the fatherly type, either.
629
00:48:05,146 --> 00:48:07,307
I doubt he was worse than mine.
630
00:48:08,149 --> 00:48:09,446
Oh, yeah?
631
00:48:09,584 --> 00:48:13,645
My father was an ogre.
He tried to eat me.
632
00:48:14,489 --> 00:48:16,684
I guess I should have realized it.
633
00:48:16,825 --> 00:48:21,091
He bathed me in barbecue sauce and
put me to bed with an apple in my mouth.
634
00:48:22,998 --> 00:48:25,489
I guess that's pretty bad.
635
00:48:27,836 --> 00:48:30,031
It may be hard to believe,
636
00:48:30,171 --> 00:48:33,629
what, with my obvious charm
and good looks,
637
00:48:33,775 --> 00:48:36,710
but people used
to think I was a monster.
638
00:48:36,845 --> 00:48:40,508
And for a long time, I believed them.
639
00:48:42,517 --> 00:48:44,109
But after a while,
640
00:48:44,252 --> 00:48:47,779
you learn to ignore
the names people call you
641
00:48:47,923 --> 00:48:50,255
and just trust who you are.
642
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,523
You know... you're okay, Shrek.
643
00:48:56,364 --> 00:48:59,925
You just need to do a little less
yelling and use a little more soap.
644
00:49:01,269 --> 00:49:02,896
Thanks, Artie.
645
00:49:03,038 --> 00:49:06,701
The soap's because
you stink... really bad.
646
00:49:07,876 --> 00:49:10,367
Yeah... I got that.
647
00:49:14,382 --> 00:49:17,249
This place is filthy!
648
00:49:17,552 --> 00:49:19,144
I feel like a hobo.
649
00:49:20,388 --> 00:49:23,152
I'm sorry, but this
isn't working for me.
650
00:49:23,291 --> 00:49:27,853
Every thing's always about you.
It's not like your attitude is helping.
651
00:49:27,996 --> 00:49:31,693
Maybe it just bothers you
I was voted fairest in the land.
652
00:49:31,833 --> 00:49:33,926
You mean in that rigged election?
653
00:49:34,069 --> 00:49:37,038
Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel..."
654
00:49:37,172 --> 00:49:40,300
let down thy golden extensions!"
655
00:49:40,442 --> 00:49:45,243
Ladies, let go of your petty complaints
and let's work together!
656
00:49:48,216 --> 00:49:51,208
So I guess the plan is
we just wander aimlessly
657
00:49:51,353 --> 00:49:53,446
in this stink hole until we rot.
658
00:49:53,588 --> 00:49:57,115
No, we get inside and find out
what Charming's up to.
659
00:49:57,258 --> 00:49:59,954
I know he's a jerk and everything,
660
00:50:00,095 --> 00:50:04,259
but that Charming
makes me hotter than July.
661
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:06,931
That's it!
662
00:50:34,963 --> 00:50:37,329
Come on! This way!
663
00:50:37,465 --> 00:50:38,465
Rapunzel, wait!
664
00:50:47,976 --> 00:50:49,807
Charming, let go of her.
665
00:50:49,944 --> 00:50:52,572
But why would I want to do that?
666
00:50:58,119 --> 00:50:59,119
What?
667
00:50:59,254 --> 00:51:04,351
Say hello, ladies,
to the new Queen of Far Far Away.
668
00:51:08,363 --> 00:51:10,160
Rapunzel, how could you?
669
00:51:10,298 --> 00:51:12,562
Jealous much?
670
00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:15,134
Soon you'll be back
where you started,
671
00:51:15,270 --> 00:51:17,898
scrubbing floors
or locked away in towers.
672
00:51:18,039 --> 00:51:21,668
That is, if I let you last the week.
673
00:51:23,978 --> 00:51:26,572
Pookie, you promised not to hurt them.
674
00:51:26,714 --> 00:51:30,707
Not here, kitten whiskers.
Daddy will discuss it later.
675
00:51:31,453 --> 00:51:33,978
Now forgive us.
We have a show to put on.
676
00:51:34,122 --> 00:51:37,387
Shrek will be back soon,
and you'll be sorry.
677
00:51:37,525 --> 00:51:38,924
Sorry?!
678
00:51:39,060 --> 00:51:43,326
Don't you realize once Shrek
sets foot in Far Far Away...
679
00:51:43,465 --> 00:51:45,228
he's doomed?
680
00:52:24,772 --> 00:52:26,399
Look out! They got a piano!
681
00:52:26,541 --> 00:52:29,908
Kill them all... except the fat one.
682
00:52:30,044 --> 00:52:34,413
King Charming has something special
in mind for you, ogre.
683
00:52:34,549 --> 00:52:35,846
King Charming?
684
00:52:35,984 --> 00:52:37,008
Attack!
685
00:52:43,291 --> 00:52:44,451
Artie, duck!
686
00:52:59,007 --> 00:53:00,269
Ready the plank!
687
00:53:15,990 --> 00:53:17,651
- Shrek!
- Help!
688
00:53:36,978 --> 00:53:38,275
Cowards!
689
00:53:38,413 --> 00:53:40,779
What has Charming done with Fiona?
690
00:53:40,915 --> 00:53:43,509
She's going to get what's coming to her.
691
00:53:44,085 --> 00:53:48,988
And there ain't nothing
you can do to stop him!
692
00:53:49,123 --> 00:53:51,648
- We've got to save her.
- But she's so far far away!
693
00:53:52,594 --> 00:53:54,892
Get yourself back
to Worcestershire, kid.
694
00:53:55,029 --> 00:53:58,521
No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea.
695
00:53:58,666 --> 00:54:00,930
I am a buzzing bee.
696
00:54:01,603 --> 00:54:04,800
Mr. Merlin?
They need a spell to get them...
697
00:54:04,939 --> 00:54:07,965
I mean us, back to Far Far Away.
698
00:54:08,109 --> 00:54:11,545
Forget it. I don't have that kind
of magic in me anymore.
699
00:54:11,679 --> 00:54:15,376
How about a hug?
That's the best kind of magic.
700
00:54:15,516 --> 00:54:17,882
Please. I know you can do it.
701
00:54:18,019 --> 00:54:19,816
I said forget it!
702
00:54:19,954 --> 00:54:21,285
But...
703
00:54:28,696 --> 00:54:30,288
What's with you?
704
00:54:31,633 --> 00:54:34,796
It's just so hard, you know?
705
00:54:35,470 --> 00:54:39,600
They need to get back,
'cause their kingdom's in trouble.
706
00:54:39,741 --> 00:54:42,266
'Cause there's a really bad man.
707
00:54:42,410 --> 00:54:44,173
It's just so hard!
708
00:54:44,312 --> 00:54:46,439
Take it easy.
709
00:54:46,581 --> 00:54:49,948
No! I don't think you understand!
710
00:54:50,084 --> 00:54:54,612
There's a mean person doing
mean things to good people.
711
00:54:54,756 --> 00:54:56,451
Have a heart, old man.
712
00:54:56,591 --> 00:55:00,755
They really need your help to get back.
Why won't you help them?!
713
00:55:04,599 --> 00:55:06,191
Okay.
714
00:55:06,334 --> 00:55:08,325
I'll go get my things.
715
00:55:11,105 --> 00:55:12,299
Piece of cake.
716
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,967
Well, well. You want eggs with that ham?
717
00:55:16,110 --> 00:55:19,807
I am a little rusty, so there
could be some side effects.
718
00:55:19,947 --> 00:55:21,414
- Side effects?
- Don't worry.
719
00:55:21,549 --> 00:55:25,315
Whatever it is, no mater
how excruciatingly painful,
720
00:55:25,453 --> 00:55:28,616
it will wear off eventually. I think.
721
00:55:30,591 --> 00:55:32,821
- Oops.
- You sure about this?
722
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:37,090
If Artie trusts him,
that's good enough for me.
723
00:55:37,231 --> 00:55:39,096
Even if his robe doesn't cover...
724
00:55:39,233 --> 00:55:41,758
Alacritious expeditious...
725
00:55:41,903 --> 00:55:44,599
a-zoomy-zoom-zoom!
726
00:55:44,739 --> 00:55:47,572
Let's help our friends get back...
727
00:55:50,311 --> 00:55:51,642
soon!
728
00:55:58,986 --> 00:56:00,578
It worked!
729
00:56:09,297 --> 00:56:12,323
I haven't been on a trip
like that since college!
730
00:56:12,767 --> 00:56:14,029
Donkey?
731
00:56:14,168 --> 00:56:17,001
What? Is something in my teeth?
732
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:24,434
Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-Ed into
a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!
733
00:56:26,781 --> 00:56:30,842
At least you don't look
like some kind of bloated piñata!
734
00:56:30,985 --> 00:56:33,044
You should think about going on a diet!
735
00:56:33,187 --> 00:56:37,783
You should get yourself a pair of pants.
I feel all exposed and nasty!
736
00:56:39,460 --> 00:56:41,792
So you two think this is funny?
737
00:56:44,298 --> 00:56:46,095
I'm really sorry, guys.
738
00:56:46,234 --> 00:56:48,702
Don't be. You got us back, kid.
739
00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:56,502
How in the Hans Christian Andersen
740
00:56:56,644 --> 00:56:59,408
am I supposed to parade around
in these goofy boots?
741
00:56:59,547 --> 00:57:02,380
Hey, hey, hey!
Be very careful with those.
742
00:57:03,818 --> 00:57:07,151
They were made in Madrid
by the finest...
743
00:57:07,822 --> 00:57:09,813
You'll learn to control that.
744
00:57:12,727 --> 00:57:17,721
Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort
inserts or arch supports or something.
745
00:57:23,905 --> 00:57:28,774
Watch it. I'm walking here
and I'm gonna keep going until...
746
00:57:28,910 --> 00:57:30,002
Pinocchio!
747
00:57:30,745 --> 00:57:32,770
Shrek! Help me!
748
00:57:32,914 --> 00:57:36,111
- What happened?
- Charming and the villains took over!
749
00:57:36,250 --> 00:57:40,016
Fiona and the Princesses got away.
Now she's...
750
00:57:40,154 --> 00:57:41,678
She's what?! What?!
751
00:57:44,025 --> 00:57:45,856
Puss! Loan me five bucks.
752
00:57:45,993 --> 00:57:48,223
You heard him. Help the brother out.
753
00:57:48,362 --> 00:57:50,455
Do you see any pockets on me?
754
00:57:50,598 --> 00:57:52,429
Hold on a second.
755
00:57:54,936 --> 00:57:59,100
I had no idea, really. I... I swear.
756
00:58:00,274 --> 00:58:02,469
Quick! Where is Fiona?
757
00:58:02,610 --> 00:58:06,376
Charming has her locked away
some place. You have to find him!
758
00:58:06,514 --> 00:58:09,381
He's probably getting ready
for the show!
759
00:58:09,517 --> 00:58:11,849
Wait, Pinocchio! What show?
760
00:58:16,858 --> 00:58:19,258
"It's a Happily Ever After After All".
761
00:58:19,393 --> 00:58:21,725
"Shrek's final performance"?
762
00:58:21,863 --> 00:58:25,993
Shrek! You didn't tell us
you were in a play!
763
00:58:26,133 --> 00:58:29,591
I guess I've been so busy
I forgot to mention it.
764
00:58:29,737 --> 00:58:31,295
The ogre! Get him!
765
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,972
Don't worry, jefe. I got this.
766
00:58:41,516 --> 00:58:43,143
Uck! Kill it!
767
00:58:44,151 --> 00:58:49,282
Look. Don't you know who
he thinks he is? How dare you!
768
00:58:49,423 --> 00:58:50,947
We're dealing with amateurs.
769
00:58:51,092 --> 00:58:56,029
He's a star, people! Hello?
I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
770
00:58:56,163 --> 00:58:57,687
I'm going to lose it!
771
00:58:57,832 --> 00:59:01,632
Is everything ready? You did get
the list for the dressing room?
772
00:59:01,769 --> 00:59:04,863
Breakfast croissant stuffed
with seared sashimi tuna.
773
00:59:05,006 --> 00:59:08,305
And I hope you have the saffron corn
with jalapeno honey butter.
774
00:59:08,442 --> 00:59:11,434
Our client cannot get
into his proper emotional state
775
00:59:11,579 --> 00:59:13,376
with out jalapeno honey butter!
776
00:59:13,514 --> 00:59:14,913
I just lost it.
777
00:59:15,683 --> 00:59:18,208
They should talk to Nancy
in Human Resources.
778
00:59:18,352 --> 00:59:21,844
Oh, we will have much to say
to Nancy, I promise!
779
00:59:23,524 --> 00:59:27,221
"With this sword, I do..." No. "With..."
780
00:59:27,361 --> 00:59:31,024
"With this sword, I do smote thee!"
781
00:59:31,933 --> 00:59:34,401
Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"?
782
00:59:34,535 --> 00:59:36,400
I don't think that's a word.
783
00:59:36,537 --> 00:59:40,871
Maybe I should just "smite" him.
Let's try this again. Now...
784
00:59:42,043 --> 00:59:45,206
Shrek attacks me.
I pretend to be afraid.
785
00:59:45,947 --> 00:59:50,350
"Now the kingdom will get the happily
ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!"
786
00:59:50,484 --> 00:59:54,147
Blah, blah, blah. Oh,
it just doesn't feel real enough!
787
00:59:56,057 --> 00:59:58,082
Who told you to stop dancing?!
788
00:59:58,225 --> 00:59:59,692
Wink and turn.
789
00:59:59,827 --> 01:00:03,058
What are you laying around for?
Get up! Honestly!
790
01:00:11,739 --> 01:00:14,936
Our happily ever after
is nearly complete, Mummy.
791
01:00:15,076 --> 01:00:17,271
And I assure you...
792
01:00:17,411 --> 01:00:22,405
the people of this kingdom
will pay dearly for every second...
793
01:00:23,584 --> 01:00:25,245
we've had to wait.
794
01:00:26,854 --> 01:00:28,287
Break a leg.
795
01:00:28,422 --> 01:00:31,186
On second thought,
let me break it for you.
796
01:00:31,325 --> 01:00:35,625
Thank goodness. I was afraid
you wouldn't get back in time.
797
01:00:35,763 --> 01:00:37,390
Where's Fiona?
798
01:00:37,531 --> 01:00:41,763
Don't worry. She and the others
are safe... for now.
799
01:00:50,945 --> 01:00:54,278
Let me guess. Arthur.
800
01:00:54,949 --> 01:00:56,974
It's Artie, actually.
801
01:00:57,118 --> 01:01:02,112
This boy is supposed to be
the new King of Far Far Away?
802
01:01:04,025 --> 01:01:05,322
How pathetic.
803
01:01:05,459 --> 01:01:08,326
Stand still, so I won't make a mess.
804
01:01:08,462 --> 01:01:11,898
Charming, stop! I'm here now.
You got what you wanted.
805
01:01:12,033 --> 01:01:13,694
This isn't about him.
806
01:01:14,468 --> 01:01:18,802
Then who's it about?
I'm supposed to be king, right?
807
01:01:20,141 --> 01:01:24,510
You weren't really next in line
for the throne.
808
01:01:24,645 --> 01:01:26,044
I was.
809
01:01:26,180 --> 01:01:29,513
But you said the King
asked for me personally.
810
01:01:29,650 --> 01:01:31,481
Not exactly.
811
01:01:31,619 --> 01:01:33,052
What does that mean?
812
01:01:33,187 --> 01:01:35,678
I said whatever I had to say, all right?
813
01:01:35,823 --> 01:01:39,520
I wasn't right for the job,
so I needed some fool to replace me.
814
01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:43,323
And you fit the bill. So just go!
815
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,459
You were playing me the whole time.
816
01:01:48,602 --> 01:01:50,365
You catch on real fast, kid.
817
01:01:50,504 --> 01:01:53,598
Maybe you're not
as big of a loser as I thought.
818
01:02:00,014 --> 01:02:02,380
You know, for a minute...
819
01:02:02,516 --> 01:02:04,416
- I actually thought...
- What?
820
01:02:04,552 --> 01:02:08,044
That he cared about you? He's an ogre.
821
01:02:08,189 --> 01:02:10,020
What did you expect?
822
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:24,027
You really do have a way
with children, Shrek.
823
01:02:36,383 --> 01:02:40,183
Leave me out with the waste.
824
01:02:40,321 --> 01:02:43,256
This is not what I do.
825
01:02:43,390 --> 01:02:47,087
It's the wrong time.
826
01:02:47,228 --> 01:02:49,924
She's pulling me through.
827
01:02:50,064 --> 01:02:53,761
It's a small crime.
828
01:02:53,901 --> 01:02:56,529
And I got no excuse.
829
01:02:56,670 --> 01:02:59,070
And is that all right, yeah?
830
01:03:00,541 --> 01:03:02,566
Is that all right with you?
831
01:03:03,410 --> 01:03:07,744
Is that all right, yeah?
832
01:03:08,249 --> 01:03:12,242
If I give my gun away when it's loaded?
833
01:03:14,421 --> 01:03:19,085
If you don't shoot it
how am I supposed to hold it?
834
01:03:22,263 --> 01:03:25,130
Is that all right?
Is that all right?
835
01:03:25,266 --> 01:03:28,702
Is that all right with you?
836
01:03:28,836 --> 01:03:29,303
No.
837
01:03:29,303 --> 01:03:29,701
No.
838
01:03:30,037 --> 01:03:31,868
Had we stayed put like I suggested,
839
01:03:32,006 --> 01:03:34,804
we'd be sipping tea
out of little heart-shaped cups.
840
01:03:34,942 --> 01:03:36,466
Yeah, heart-shaped cups.
841
01:03:36,610 --> 01:03:39,238
And eating crumpets
smothered with loganberries.
842
01:03:39,380 --> 01:03:40,972
Yeah, loganberries.
843
01:03:41,115 --> 01:03:42,980
- Shut up, Cindy.
- Yeah, shut up.
844
01:03:43,117 --> 01:03:45,984
- No, you shut up.
- Stay out of this.
845
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,918
Who cares who's "running the kingdom"?
846
01:03:49,056 --> 01:03:52,287
- I care.
- You should all care.
847
01:03:56,263 --> 01:03:59,164
I have your badge number, tin can!
848
01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:01,165
- Donkey?
- Princess!
849
01:04:01,302 --> 01:04:02,302
Puss?
850
01:04:02,436 --> 01:04:06,497
I am Puss, stuck here
inside this hideous body.
851
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:07,664
And I'm me!
852
01:04:07,808 --> 01:04:08,934
But you're...
853
01:04:09,076 --> 01:04:11,738
Every thing's fruity in the loops,
but what happened is
854
01:04:11,879 --> 01:04:13,847
we went to high school,
the boat crashed
855
01:04:13,981 --> 01:04:16,541
and we got bippity-boppity-booped
by the magic man.
856
01:04:16,684 --> 01:04:18,879
You poor sweet things.
857
01:04:19,019 --> 01:04:20,418
I don't get it.
858
01:04:20,554 --> 01:04:24,285
The cat turned into a little horse
that smells like feet. What's to get?
859
01:04:24,425 --> 01:04:25,790
Who dat?
860
01:04:25,926 --> 01:04:26,950
Where's Shrek?
861
01:04:27,094 --> 01:04:31,087
Charming has him. He plans to kill Shrek
tonight in front of the whole kingdom!
862
01:04:32,499 --> 01:04:36,663
All right, everyone.
We need to find a way out now.
863
01:04:36,804 --> 01:04:40,331
You're right.
Ladies, assume the position!
864
01:04:45,212 --> 01:04:46,406
What are you doing?
865
01:04:47,181 --> 01:04:48,546
Waiting to be rescued.
866
01:04:48,682 --> 01:04:50,650
You've got to be kidding me.
867
01:04:50,784 --> 01:04:53,548
What else can we do? We're just four...
868
01:04:53,687 --> 01:04:56,986
I mean three, super-hot princesses...
869
01:04:57,124 --> 01:05:01,185
two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre
and an old lady!
870
01:05:02,029 --> 01:05:06,363
Excuse me. Old lady coming through.
871
01:05:14,975 --> 01:05:16,772
Mom!
872
01:05:16,911 --> 01:05:21,177
You didn't think you got your fighting
skills from your father, did you?
873
01:05:21,315 --> 01:05:24,045
Excuse me. There's still one more.
874
01:05:34,228 --> 01:05:36,560
Why don't you just lie down?
875
01:05:39,233 --> 01:05:42,100
Okay, girls, from here on out...
876
01:05:42,236 --> 01:05:44,704
we take care of business ourselves.
877
01:06:01,755 --> 01:06:06,283
The Far Far Away Theatre at the
Charming Pavilion is proud to present...
878
01:06:06,427 --> 01:06:08,190
"It's A Happily Ever After
After All."
879
01:06:08,329 --> 01:06:11,628
Enjoy your evening
of theatrical reverie, citizen.
880
01:06:11,765 --> 01:06:15,098
Oi! No food or beverages in the theatre!
881
01:06:28,949 --> 01:06:30,314
Places, everyone!
882
01:06:35,456 --> 01:06:36,582
Easy!
883
01:06:36,724 --> 01:06:40,626
Sorry. I was showing off
for the little one.
884
01:06:41,362 --> 01:06:44,957
It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day.
Come here, beautiful.
885
01:06:48,135 --> 01:06:51,127
Well, she's got your eye.
886
01:06:52,373 --> 01:06:57,310
Who would have thought a monster like
me deserved something as special as you?
887
01:07:38,986 --> 01:07:42,012
Little birdies, take wing.
888
01:07:42,856 --> 01:07:45,484
Flitting down from the trees they appear.
889
01:07:45,626 --> 01:07:48,094
And to chirp in my ear.
890
01:07:49,363 --> 01:07:52,355
All because I sing.
891
01:08:21,995 --> 01:08:23,053
Move it! Go!
892
01:08:29,670 --> 01:08:31,399
My babies!
893
01:08:32,406 --> 01:08:33,406
Help!
894
01:09:18,952 --> 01:09:20,943
Hey, how's it going?
895
01:09:31,632 --> 01:09:33,566
O to the K. The coast is clear.
896
01:09:33,700 --> 01:09:36,328
Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite!
897
01:09:36,470 --> 01:09:40,304
I thought we agreed to use the name
Team Super Cool.
898
01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:42,670
I recall it was Team Awesome.
899
01:09:42,809 --> 01:09:44,743
I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
900
01:09:44,878 --> 01:09:46,846
Okay! From henceforth,
901
01:09:46,980 --> 01:09:51,110
we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome
Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.
902
01:09:51,251 --> 01:09:55,483
Ach de liebe! There is some strange
little girl over there staring at us!
903
01:09:56,423 --> 01:09:57,788
Artie!
904
01:09:57,925 --> 01:09:59,290
Wait, wait!
905
01:09:59,426 --> 01:10:01,621
Where is the fire, señor?
906
01:10:01,762 --> 01:10:03,787
Please. Don't act so innocent.
907
01:10:03,931 --> 01:10:07,697
You both knew what was going on
and kept it to yourselves.
908
01:10:07,834 --> 01:10:09,426
It's not like it seems.
909
01:10:09,570 --> 01:10:12,403
It's not? I think it seems pretty clear.
910
01:10:12,539 --> 01:10:15,064
He was using me. That's all.
911
01:10:15,209 --> 01:10:17,643
Using you? You really don't get it.
912
01:10:17,778 --> 01:10:20,770
Shrek only said
those things to protect you.
913
01:10:21,448 --> 01:10:26,112
Charming was going to kill you, Artie!
Shrek saved your life.
914
01:10:36,697 --> 01:10:38,289
Cue the spot!
915
01:10:42,135 --> 01:10:44,660
I wait alone up here
916
01:10:44,805 --> 01:10:47,501
I'm trapped another day.
917
01:10:47,641 --> 01:10:50,838
Locked up here, please set me free.
918
01:10:50,978 --> 01:10:54,004
My new life I almost see.
919
01:10:54,147 --> 01:10:56,843
A castle, you and me.
920
01:10:56,984 --> 01:11:02,081
Yes, a castle, you and me.
921
01:11:04,157 --> 01:11:05,215
Cherubs!
922
01:11:09,162 --> 01:11:12,962
Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed
923
01:11:13,100 --> 01:11:14,727
Princess, my love.
924
01:11:14,868 --> 01:11:17,632
At last you shall be freed
I'm strong.
925
01:11:17,771 --> 01:11:19,739
And brave
And dashing my way there.
926
01:11:20,173 --> 01:11:25,839
With speed! With might!
With soft and bouncy hair!
927
01:11:26,813 --> 01:11:30,579
- Through the blistering desert.
- Hot!
928
01:11:30,717 --> 01:11:33,743
- Across the stormiest sea.
- Wet!
929
01:11:33,887 --> 01:11:35,878
Facing creatures so vile.
930
01:11:36,023 --> 01:11:37,149
Foul!
931
01:11:37,291 --> 01:11:41,421
So you can gaze upon me!
932
01:11:42,729 --> 01:11:45,061
I knew you'd come for me.
933
01:11:45,198 --> 01:11:49,032
And now we finally meet
934
01:11:49,169 --> 01:11:50,636
I knew you'd wait.
935
01:11:50,771 --> 01:11:55,299
And from my plate of love you'd eat.
936
01:12:15,228 --> 01:12:18,561
Who is this terribly ugly fiend
Who so rudely intervened?
937
01:12:18,699 --> 01:12:20,530
Will Charming fight or flee?
938
01:12:20,667 --> 01:12:21,725
Please rescue me!
939
01:12:21,868 --> 01:12:23,563
From this monstrosity!
940
01:12:23,704 --> 01:12:28,732
Fear thee not, honey lamb!
I will slice this thing up like a ham!
941
01:12:29,910 --> 01:12:31,377
Oh, boy.
942
01:12:31,511 --> 01:12:35,106
You are about to enter a world of pain.
943
01:12:35,248 --> 01:12:39,582
With which you are not familiar!
944
01:12:43,023 --> 01:12:47,426
It can't be any more painful
than your lousy performance.
945
01:12:51,098 --> 01:12:53,089
"Prepare, foul beast."
946
01:12:55,202 --> 01:12:58,467
Prepare, foul beast, your time is done!
947
01:12:58,605 --> 01:13:01,768
Could you kill me and then sing?
948
01:13:03,276 --> 01:13:04,971
Be quiet!
949
01:13:05,112 --> 01:13:09,242
I'm just having fun with you.
That's actually a very nice leotard.
950
01:13:09,383 --> 01:13:10,645
Thank you.
951
01:13:10,784 --> 01:13:12,877
Do they come in men's sizes?
952
01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:17,685
Now that be funny!
953
01:13:17,824 --> 01:13:19,792
Enough!
954
01:13:22,195 --> 01:13:25,995
Now you'll finally
know what it's like...
955
01:13:26,133 --> 01:13:29,660
to have everything you worked for...
956
01:13:29,803 --> 01:13:33,830
everything that's precious to you,
taken away.
957
01:13:33,974 --> 01:13:37,307
Now you'll know how I felt.
958
01:13:44,651 --> 01:13:46,312
Sausage roll!
959
01:14:03,670 --> 01:14:06,195
Pray for mercy from Puss!
960
01:14:06,339 --> 01:14:07,829
And Donkey!
961
01:14:08,041 --> 01:14:09,099
D
962
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:21,382
Hi, honey.
963
01:14:21,521 --> 01:14:24,547
Sorry we're late. You okay?
964
01:14:24,691 --> 01:14:27,023
Much better, now that you're here.
965
01:14:29,696 --> 01:14:34,895
So, Charming, you want to let me out of
these so we can settle this ogre-to-man?
966
01:14:35,035 --> 01:14:39,369
Ooh, that sounds fun.
But I have a better idea.
967
01:14:55,222 --> 01:14:57,622
No! Let go of me!
968
01:14:57,757 --> 01:15:01,887
You will not ruin things
this time, ogre. Kill it.
969
01:15:05,732 --> 01:15:07,495
Everybody, stop!
970
01:15:09,336 --> 01:15:11,429
Oh, what is it now?!
971
01:15:11,571 --> 01:15:12,833
Artie?
972
01:15:22,516 --> 01:15:24,984
Who thinks we need
to settle things this way?
973
01:15:29,256 --> 01:15:32,953
You mean you want to be villains
your whole lives?
974
01:15:33,093 --> 01:15:36,893
But we are villains!
It's the only thing we know.
975
01:15:37,030 --> 01:15:39,464
You never wish
you could be something else?
976
01:15:39,599 --> 01:15:43,057
Easy for you to say. You're not
some evil enchanted tree.
977
01:15:43,203 --> 01:15:45,967
You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack!
978
01:15:46,106 --> 01:15:48,904
What Steve means is
it's hard to come by honest work
979
01:15:49,042 --> 01:15:51,067
when the whole world's against you.
980
01:15:51,211 --> 01:15:52,940
Right. Thanks, Ed.
981
01:15:53,079 --> 01:15:57,482
Fair enough. You're right.
I'm not a talking tree.
982
01:15:57,617 --> 01:15:58,709
But you know...
983
01:15:58,852 --> 01:16:01,980
a good friend once told me...
984
01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:07,150
just because people treat you
like a villain, or an ogre...
985
01:16:07,294 --> 01:16:09,285
or just some loser...
986
01:16:10,797 --> 01:16:12,697
doesn't mean you are one.
987
01:16:15,569 --> 01:16:19,437
What matters most
is what you think of yourself.
988
01:16:19,573 --> 01:16:23,873
If there's something you really want,
or someone you want to be...
989
01:16:24,010 --> 01:16:27,639
the only person standing
in your way is you.
990
01:16:28,148 --> 01:16:29,911
- Me?
- Get him!
991
01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:31,449
No, no, no!
992
01:16:31,585 --> 01:16:34,520
What I mean is each of you...
993
01:16:34,654 --> 01:16:36,918
is standing in your own way.
994
01:16:40,827 --> 01:16:43,318
I always wanted to play the flute.
995
01:16:43,463 --> 01:16:47,126
I'd like to open up a spa... in France!
996
01:16:47,267 --> 01:16:51,829
I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful.
997
01:17:40,553 --> 01:17:43,716
A new era finally begins!
998
01:17:45,558 --> 01:17:47,219
Now all of you...
999
01:17:48,061 --> 01:17:50,461
bow before your King!
1000
01:17:56,903 --> 01:17:59,235
You need to work on your aim.
1001
01:18:01,574 --> 01:18:04,441
This was supposed to be
my happily ever after!
1002
01:18:04,577 --> 01:18:07,068
Well, you need to keep looking...
1003
01:18:09,082 --> 01:18:11,141
because I'm not giving up mine.
1004
01:18:16,423 --> 01:18:17,583
Mommy?
1005
01:18:28,935 --> 01:18:31,096
It's yours if you want it.
1006
01:18:31,771 --> 01:18:34,103
But this time it's your choice.
1007
01:18:56,796 --> 01:18:57,820
Author!
1008
01:18:57,964 --> 01:19:01,297
Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!
1009
01:19:05,638 --> 01:19:08,630
Excuse me. That's my seat.
1010
01:19:09,642 --> 01:19:14,409
Okay, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time
has come to rectify some wrongs!
1011
01:19:14,547 --> 01:19:17,072
Though I have been enjoying
these cat baths.
1012
01:19:17,217 --> 01:19:18,707
Please say you didn't.
1013
01:19:18,852 --> 01:19:20,752
All right! Look.
1014
01:19:20,887 --> 01:19:24,186
You'll feel a pinch and possibly
lower intestinal discomfort...
1015
01:19:24,324 --> 01:19:26,656
but this should do the trick.
1016
01:19:30,897 --> 01:19:33,365
- Are you?
- I'm me again!
1017
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,764
- And I am not you!
- All right!
1018
01:19:37,337 --> 01:19:38,497
Oops.
1019
01:19:40,507 --> 01:19:41,906
Ah, never mind.
1020
01:19:45,912 --> 01:19:49,973
What did I tell you?
The kid's going to be a great king.
1021
01:19:50,116 --> 01:19:53,677
Well, for what it's worth,
you would have, too.
1022
01:19:55,188 --> 01:19:58,180
I have something
much more important in mind.
1023
01:20:23,716 --> 01:20:24,944
Finally.
1024
01:20:31,724 --> 01:20:33,055
Dada.
1025
01:20:35,161 --> 01:20:39,530
Was I wrong about the world?
It's a beautiful new place
1026
01:20:39,666 --> 01:20:42,157
I smell Shrek Junior!
1027
01:20:42,302 --> 01:20:44,964
Where else could a creep like me.
1028
01:20:45,104 --> 01:20:47,834
Meet such a pretty face.
1029
01:20:47,974 --> 01:20:51,910
Meeting every day with the rising sun.
1030
01:20:54,714 --> 01:20:57,615
Looking up, it's looking like.
1031
01:20:57,750 --> 01:21:00,412
My losing streak is done.
1032
01:21:01,321 --> 01:21:02,618
Peek-a-boo!
1033
01:21:02,755 --> 01:21:04,086
Peek-a-boo!
1034
01:21:07,293 --> 01:21:09,124
A bouncy, bouncy, boy!
1035
01:21:09,262 --> 01:21:11,958
Used to always feel like.
1036
01:21:12,098 --> 01:21:14,760
Wished that I was dressed better.
1037
01:21:15,768 --> 01:21:17,429
Where's the baby?
1038
01:21:17,570 --> 01:21:21,939
Never had a lot of luck
Until I finally met her.
1039
01:21:31,451 --> 01:21:35,444
Meeting every day with the rising sun.
1040
01:21:38,124 --> 01:21:40,285
Looking up, it's looking like.
1041
01:21:40,960 --> 01:21:43,793
My losing streak is done.
1042
01:21:45,965 --> 01:21:48,297
My losing streak is done.
1043
01:21:59,145 --> 01:22:01,807
Well... what shall we do now?
1044
01:22:17,830 --> 01:22:19,491
I got it.
1045
01:22:26,005 --> 01:22:30,374
Puss and Donkey, baby!
Once again, come on!
1046
01:22:30,510 --> 01:22:35,140
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself.
1047
01:22:35,281 --> 01:22:36,373
Again!
1048
01:22:36,516 --> 01:22:38,381
Look at my hips!
1049
01:22:38,518 --> 01:22:43,717
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself.
1050
01:22:43,856 --> 01:22:45,346
Again!
1051
01:22:50,630 --> 01:22:52,154
- Break it down!
- Let's go!
1052
01:22:52,298 --> 01:22:54,698
Stiff all in the collar.
1053
01:22:56,536 --> 01:22:58,697
Fluffy in the face.
1054
01:23:00,873 --> 01:23:03,364
Chit chat chatter trying.
1055
01:23:04,711 --> 01:23:06,872
Stuffy in the place.
1056
01:23:09,048 --> 01:23:11,881
Thank you for the par-Tay.
1057
01:23:13,052 --> 01:23:14,917
But I could never stay
1058
01:23:15,054 --> 01:23:16,385
I'm sorry.
1059
01:23:17,056 --> 01:23:20,048
I got many things on my mind.
1060
01:23:21,394 --> 01:23:23,555
But the word's in the way.
1061
01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:29,763
And I want to thank you for letting me
be myself.
1062
01:23:29,902 --> 01:23:31,233
Again.
1063
01:23:32,238 --> 01:23:34,206
Different strokes for different folks.
1064
01:23:34,340 --> 01:23:37,935
Thank you for letting me be myself.
1065
01:23:38,077 --> 01:23:39,567
Again.
1066
01:23:41,748 --> 01:23:43,238
Break it down!
1067
01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:47,413
Puss and Donkey, baby!
Puss and Donkey, baby!
1068
01:23:47,920 --> 01:23:49,581
Puss and Donkey, baby!
1069
01:23:50,923 --> 01:23:53,084
Dance to the music.
1070
01:23:54,927 --> 01:23:57,259
All night long.
1071
01:23:59,265 --> 01:24:01,597
Everyday people.
1072
01:24:03,269 --> 01:24:05,430
Sing a simple song.
1073
01:24:07,440 --> 01:24:09,931
Mama's so happy.
1074
01:24:11,778 --> 01:24:13,769
Mama start to cry.
1075
01:24:15,948 --> 01:24:18,439
Papa's still singing.
1076
01:24:19,619 --> 01:24:23,111
You can make it if you try
So try!
1077
01:24:24,290 --> 01:24:28,158
Thank you for letting me be myself.
1078
01:24:28,294 --> 01:24:29,625
Again.
1079
01:24:32,632 --> 01:24:36,500
Thank you for letting me be myself.
1080
01:24:36,636 --> 01:24:38,331
Again.
1081
01:24:38,471 --> 01:24:41,338
Come on, Donkey. Do something right!
1082
01:24:41,474 --> 01:24:43,874
Put the hoofs together!
Put the hoofs together!
1083
01:24:44,977 --> 01:24:49,175
Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your
boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby!
1084
01:24:49,315 --> 01:24:53,183
Thank you for letting me be myself.
1085
01:24:53,319 --> 01:24:54,809
Again.
1086
01:24:56,989 --> 01:25:01,517
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself.
1087
01:25:01,661 --> 01:25:02,753
Again.
1088
01:25:02,895 --> 01:25:05,864
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1089
01:25:05,998 --> 01:25:09,195
Want to thank you Just to be my.
1090
01:25:09,335 --> 01:25:12,202
Because I just want to be my...
See?
1091
01:25:12,338 --> 01:25:15,034
Can I, can I thank you! Can I.
1092
01:25:15,174 --> 01:25:17,005
Yes! Yes!
79045
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