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Easy bubba...
You know what I think?
I think you are a cop too.
What kind of paranoid pills have you been taking, Ferguson?
Come here.
Have you met Inspector Bettina from SFPD?
No I haven't
but obviously we don't hang out in the same spots.
Ok you don't know this cop? Cut the rope.
You kiddin' me? I thought this was a business deal.
Do it.
Alright. Give me the machete.
Never mind the cops' reactions when they find out one of their own has been dropped seven stories to the street. Flat.
Come on. Give me the machete.
And then get yourself another partner.
You don't even have a sharp knife.
Adios bubba.
Wait a minute...
What?
You guys been a little hasty.
Say you are sorry.
I'm sorry
Allright.
P-7 processor chips. Worth 500 bucks a piece.
We'll be the judge of that bubba.
Take me a minute to do the key-z and the benchmark test.
Running the first sequence...
Running the first sequence... now.
Let me ask you something Fergie.
What?
You know at the supermarkets where they got those
check out lanes, you know what the signs would say
10 itmes for less.
Shouldn't that really be 10 items for fewer.
Isn't that the proper grammar?
I don't know.
-Huh? -I don't know.
-Good to go. -Beautiful.
It's like we are having campers.
Ok, show me the money.
There. That ought to get your greed checking.
This is fake.
That's true Fergie.
And you know why that is?
Because it's a real bitch to requesition 5 million dollars of city money.
You gotta go to the federal reserve...
You got to wait on them damn hard benches...
Nobody is friendly
the paperwork is a nightmare.
You wouldn't believe it.
And even if you get the money it'll take ya 3 days
to do the photocopy on the serial numbers.
Now, forget about it.
I mean it's crazy.
See the fact is you boys are aunder arrest.
So the best thing for you to do...
So the best thing for you to do... is surrender.
I don't think so.
See ya bubba.
Hey, you are not gonna believe what that guy did.
Tell me some Nash.
How did you do that with the machete.
Oh that... that was nothing there. That was just a little magic.
Oh magic really?
That's very interessting.
Yeah when I was a kid I used to fool around with magic.
Uh-uh.
You know, palm and cards, palm and pulling scarves and stuff like that..
So what I did was:
See this side is dull.
I just rotated it.
Good thing I wasn't rusty.
Oops.
You st...
Bettina, what is your problem?
Problem? Your methodology. That's the problem.
Oh good. My methodology.
Well the next time I find a cop that manages to get himself suspended
7 stories over San Francisco, I'll keep that in mind.
I'll hurry right up.
You got a knot there in your stomach.
I'm gonna kill....
So Furguson pulled the job for somebody else
but he kept 5 million stolen comupter chips for himself.
Tried to sell them to me last night.
Nash, bro, you know you can't make a 5 million dollar bypass
without letting me run it up the chain of command.
I only had 7900 A.J. what is that gonna do?
Ok if anybody asks I chewed you out.
Personally I enjoyed it.
Don't tell Bettina I said that.
Way.
Allright for the bad news.
Crook on the roof won't give up anything.
Furguson, his bosses, 27 million missing chips.
Somebody got him scared.
Woa... Jake what's going on here?
You got Santa in handcuffs.
It is the season, Nash.
Oh man, is there no shame?
Here is that crappy wire that doubles as a cell phone.
Hey don't bother me.
I'm having phone sex.
Back again, huh?
Hey when is Harv going to take off that black arm band, man?
Jerry Garcia's been dead for months.
Maybe when he runs out of LSD.
Nash, your ex-wife on line 4.
Oh yeah? Which one?
Cute.
Excuse me A.J..
All right take Cortez here. Make him your fulltime slave.
Beautiful.
Love that guy. What a motivator.
Uh... Can I get you some coffee? Maybe pick up your dry cleaning?
Don't loose that sense of humor.
Yeah hello?
Oh hi Lis.
Yeah great. I'd love to take her.
All right sure. All right. Bye.
Hey Merlin, I heard about your magical skills last night.
Show me a trick.
You have been talking to my pal Bettina?
So you used magic tricks to solve any of your other cases?
Everyday. Mhhmmm.
Now I want you to think of a card.
Ok.
Any card.
Three of spades.
Three of spades. You sure?
All right.
Point at it. Just pick one. Not that one.
No not that one. Not that one.
Not that one.
Jack of hearts.
I hate it when I blow it like that.
That's terrible.
Is that like existential magic?
Hey. Nash!
Nash, give me the key. Come on. Nash.
Nash, there is a P.I. here to see you.
What's his name?
Joe Dominguez.
I don't have the key. I lost it. I made it disappear.
He is from Peraclee System. You know the company that lost the chips and he wants in.
I need that by tomorrow.
I mean, excuse me, but what does this guy get off that we ever gonna give him free help.
He is my ex-partner.
I'll go get him.
Up one, Dan.
Nashman.
What's up with this? You look like a giant grape.
It's part of the Merlot collection. You like?
Hey bubba. Good seeing ya.
Send me retirement company no good. You way too heavy. Yeah well you know.
How is the P.I. gig?
Ah keeps me out of Inger's hair. If you know what I mean.
Thanks Dan.
Hey nice digs homie.
Yeah take a walk with me before the damn place falls in on us.
The bank was an earthquake demo.
City got the building for free.
Stuck us and the Tenderloin precinct in here until the old city building is retrofitted.
Uh nice. So where are you going?
See Kelly. Witnessing the last 15 minutes of my married life.
Oh yeah that. Yeah that.
So Mr. Hotshot-P.I. what you got on the stolen chips.
Well, the inside guy was easy enough to find. I nailed him right away.
I also got him to give up one of the ring leaders. Alex Abe, he is out of prison.
What?
No no no...that... the parole board was supposed to notify me when...
I know they were supposed to but they didn't. Ok? And I can't find him.
Oh man. You got any ideas?
Ok, Evan, Abe's got a girlfriend. Her name is Joy Powell.
5 years ago she lived at 9202 Geary.
If you can't find her, she's got a sister that also lives here in the razor at the Delman hotel room 264. ;)
Joe, I'm late. Gotta run. Call me when you find her.
How does he remember all that?
He has a pornographic memory.
Good evening, Nash. How are you? Hey Luigi.
She is here.
A beer Mr. Bridges?
Anything Mexican.
Allright.
You are late.
You are later. As usual.
Oh, fight-mode.
Consider the warm-up toss. I could go either way.
I miss this place.
Yeah. Me too.
And for you madam?
Champagne.
-Glass or bottle? -Both.
It's kind of stark in black and white.
All you have to do is sign.
I've forgotten my pen.
Well, no rush.
Would you like to dance?
I was just going to ask you.
You bad, Lester.
Let's celebrate.
One last fling.
No.
What am I seeing here? Self-discipline?
First time for everything. I guess.
Cassidy? Cassidy.
Cassidy, I'm home.
How did your dad get such a cool place?
Well, the whole build is earthquake condemned.
He had to sign a wafer.
If we get another big one, like 6.5, this whole place is going down.
-It's real cheap. -Yeah, my dad's still broke after his last divorce.
Oh get this: you know Kelly, my dad's second wife. The one he is splitting up with right now...
-Right. -Her family is incredibly rich.
I mean, in fact her farther just gave them this huge trust fund.
Now that is really cool.
Yeah, until Kelly talked my dad into putting it all into roofius.
Is that why they split up?
No, you know I think it was more of a sexual passion vs. career thing.
And she did not like him being a cop.
Ah, water glasses.
-Hi daddy. -Hi sweeth...
Woa, what's the deal with the dress?
So daddy are you going to come to my play because I think it's gonna be really good?
Of course I'm going to come to your play. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Wait a... Wait a minute. You didn't answer my question.
What's the... what's the deal on the dress?
Well, Tatia and I want to go to this party. Dad, please it's at Maggie Heart's house.
It's supervised. Mom knows we will be home by one.
-About one... very nice. -12?
-11 and change the dress. -11:30.
Oh daddy. I love this song. Thank you.
Wait... What about dinner?
I love you daddy.
What a sucker I am.
So how did you find Joy?
Just like you told me, Nash. Through Lima. Did you see this girl's rap sheet?
She's got 4 outstanding warrants, she got 2 on gun charges plus she skipped at parole.
That's how we get her to roll on Abe.
This is a nice ride, man. I have never seen a car like this.
-What is it? -This is a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda.
The reason you never seen one: Because they only made 14 of 'em.
Now listen. When we get to Joy's I want you to be careful.
This girl is a spitfire.
Pound for pound I'd take her over anything but maybe a blue ventuna.
Yeah, nothing I can't handle.
Yeah, ok.
Nash, I you are afraid of some girl, man I'll go in first.
Hey guys.
Nah, I want you to wait right out here.
Come on man, I want to be in on this bust.
Like my coach used to say: Keep your head on a swivel.
What the hell does that mean?
Master key.
That's the way to happen.
Police.
Joy?
Joy?
-I sure hope she is dead. -Wait, wait.
Hi Joy. What's the matter, hon'?
Taking a sick day.
Gun.
Two points on the take-down. Go Evan, go, go...
You got it Evan. Hang in there, buddy.
Come on you are doing good.
Get off...
Get off me.
Good job there, bubba.
(All units be adviced: 212...) -Yes, shut up - You are a son of bitch.
Hey knock it off. I want to hear this
(...Please respond. Suspects are considered extremely dangerous)
Now then, what's it gonna be, Joy?
God, I hate being a snitch.
How do you feel about being in jail?
-Now who do you want? -Alex Abe. Your buddy with the stolen chips.
I don't know where Alex is, all right? We broke up.
(Suspects armed. One male caucasian, one male black...traveling eastbound in a blue an white city taxi cab. No plate currently available. Suspects are extremely dangerous)
You know I think he is dating a sister. How nineties.
-Damn man, we got 'em. -We are transporting a suspect, Nash. We can't pursue.
Hell we can't. 5 George 31, we got that taxi southbound on Mason towards Geary.
Let's just take a peek at these crooks.
(5 George 31, roger.)
Make us, man.
In this car? I don't think so.
Still waitng, Joy.
I don't know where Alex is.
Then tell me who he is working for on the chip deal.
That's heavy, man.
So is your situation, "man".
Where the hell are the patrol units?
Relax, bubba. They'll be here.
Now I don't recognize these boys.
I think I'll go back to jail, all right?
You help me out, Joy, and I'll get the DA to cut you a deal.
They are tripping, man. They are going to bust the red.
-Police! Don't move! Hands up. -No, no...
You got the driver. Now I can't belive that.
Hang on.
-That is so fun. -Get out of the way.
You people look out.
Don't you ever do anything like that ever again.
And you, this is your last chance before I make an equipment change.
-Give it up. -Okay, okay.
Alex's boss for the chip heist. His name is Neil Wojak.
Mook.
Mr. Ferguson, care for something to drink?
My house mam makes a pretty spectacular holiday eggnog.
You know, it's all in the quality of the bourbon.
Mr. Wojak, sir, Alex, sir, I can explain everthing about the chips. Honest.
No, no, no.
First, allow me apologise for the rather extravagant security measures.
What may seem a bit excessive... is just like in every other line of work.
Whenever there is millions of dollars at stake and especially during
christmas time, holiday season, shoopping,
everybody's anxiety levels go up and up and up.
Sir, absolutely and I understand that. I'm sorry.
I don't know what got into my head, sir.
I still have all the chips. Honest to God, I do.
Mr. Furgeson, if you can answer 3 simple questions, you get to live.
Yes, sir.
Where are the missing chips?
1505 Cornell St., sir. That's my house.
Who is that cop, that's after you?
-Nash Bridges, sir. -Nash Bridges.
What's the third question?
I only had 2.
We didn't wait an hour. He is gonna get a cramp.
This was not my life, planned.
I did not wanna be divorced twice
and have a daughter that I hardly ever see.
I thought I wanted to be a family man.
Woa man, this is not our ride.
Oh man, don't start with me.
You supposed to be a important guy around here.
El merdo merdo, chijo gluro. A man of stature. This?
This was the only available unmarked car.
Wait, hey, isn't that Lt. Chiramoora's nice clean Crown Victoria over there? Come on.
Don't you even think about it.
All right, so what happened with Kelly?
I mean, jeez, last time I saw you,
you were in that trancendent sex phase.
Yeah and an hour before that, we were practically trading gun fire.
Get behind the wheel.
Oh God, I told you: Take the promotion's test, huh?
"No, Joe, I don't want to be Sgt., I don't want to be Lt.
I want to be an Insepctor! It's so much fun."
Come on, give it a try.
So what does Kelly want anyways?
She thinks it's simple.
I just join her world, quit my job, put on the suit,
work for dad and make a lot of extra cash.
A homeboy, you knew I was going in.
Yeah, well, I thougt one of us would change.
Oh yeah, that could happen.
Try it again.
In the meantime, what's up with Lisa?
We deal with each othe over Cassidy and that's about it.
Try it now.
-It's alive. -Hallelujah.
Hey, wait. You are not still in love with her to are you?
That was over a long time ago.
You know what's funny?
I have been dreaming a lot about her lately.
Man are you in a hole.
Go ahead. Laugh. I'm glad my life in a shambles amuses you.
Your life is a cartoon here.
Man, all right. Let's go see Mr. Neil Wojak.
Let him meet the police, up close and in person.
Do these guys even need a home?
Let's roll outta here at 15 mph.
So fearless leader, what's the play here?
Give Mr. Wojak a little doubt.
May I help you?
Inspectors Bridges and Dominguez to see Mr. Wojak.
Is this a police matter?
Yeah, we are here to check the tags on the pillows.
This is Mr. Wojak.
Thanks, bub.
I know because it interferes with the taste of the food.
I'll be with you in a minute.
I'll try her later.
Take your time.
Can I help you gentlemen?
What the hell are you doing here?
Mr. Wojak is one of my catering clients.
You two know each other?
Inspector Bridges is my ex-husband.
I am always impressed by what a small cosy city SF is.
-Too cosy. -Yeah.
This is wonderful. She is helping me throw together
a last minute christmas party here.
Looking forward to meeting all my friends.
Maybe you'd like to come?
I am leaving Neil. I'll talk to you later.
I thought you retired, Joe.
Why sit at home, watch Jerry Springer when I can see this stuff live?
-See you Lisa. -Bye.
Oh, what's up guys?
I got a meeting I want to head off to.
This won't take a miute.
You are aware of the 32 million in computer chips, that was stolen
from Peraclee Systems? And the two related murders?
Isn't everybody?
You know, we got this informant, who is willing to testify
that you planned, organized, and executed this theft.
That's a joke right?
Doesn't it drive you crazy, to know that somebody in your
organization can't be trusted?
You make a terrible mistake, Inspector.
You got that backwards.
We'll see.
Personally,
Personally, I can't wait.
Good. Very subtle.
What the hell was Lisa doing in there?
The woman has the worst judgement in men I have seen in my whole life.
Clearly.
What's his name?
-No, no, his name. -Evan.
See what you can do with this. I can't even turn the damn thing on.
-Who does this belong to? -Neil Wojak.
How did you get it?
-Uh... he lent it to me. -Yeah.
Joe, I'm headed home.
Nash.
Alex Abe.
I hear you been looking for me.
You borrowed something from us.
We want it back.
You know, this stupid loan thing's getting out af hand.
I don't play games, Inspector Bridges.
You will die right away, you know?
Tell me where Wojak's diary is.
Take this piece of junk out of plain race. Shoot him.
Feed him to the sharks. Get rid of the car, too.
Ask him why it won't start.
Hey, hey man, what's the problem with the car?
He flooded it.
Yeah
I didn't flood it, all right?
When it's flooded, you are not supposed to pump the pedal.
It doesn't matter if you pump the pedal or not.
It's only if it's electronic ignition, you nitwit.
What you say we shoot him right now?
Ok, wait a minute. Here.
I got something here. You could spray this stuff in the car...
My relationship with Neil Wokjak is none of your business.
Well, did Neil talk to you about computer chips at all, or...?
No he did not.
Well I mean you might have overheard something.
-That's possible. -No! Maybe you were wrong.
Let's just assume for a second that I'm right.
Let's just assume that this guy is a bad guy.
You know when you are such a good cop,
you are totally oblivious to everything else.
Lisa, you want some over-zealous DA bringing you in to this whole thing?
You are not responsible for my life, Nash.
Ow.
Oh. Come on. All right, let me do this.
Oh that's right, you can fix anything... mechanical.
Cassidy told me about her grades. It's great, isn't it?
Her play's tomorrow night.
Yeah I know. I'll be there.
I'm glad you are saying that to me not to her.
I will be there.
You know, I remember a time, when I used to make you laugh.
Now all I do is piss you off. Why is that?
You want the whole laundry list?
Starting with a for anniversaries you missed or where your pager went off
or we can go to b for booze
or jump right to w for women.
You know, you should take a good look at your life
before you come over here, passing judgement on mine.
You can turn the light on when I tell you...
Oh my God. Are you ok?
You did that on purpose.
Probably.
What is its?
Your smell.
Has it been this long, since we have been that close?
-Don't. -Why?
You know what to start.
I have done a lot of things
I wish I hadn't done.
But I am sorry.
And I regret all the pain that I have caused you.
I just want to make things better.
That's a start.
Amazing. It works.
Here they come. Turn on the camera.
Got it. Hello.
Now where did you get all that stuff?
The agency sent me to school for two weeks to learn how to use all this crap.
And it's running.
Who the hell are those guys?
Wait a minute.
They are Chinese.
Bubba, you got a flair for the obvious like I've never seen.
Well then you use your phonographic memory.
You tell me who these guys are then.
Could be Chinese.
But I don't recognize them.
Well then they ain't local.
What do you bet that suitcase is the down-payment for the chips.
Hey it works.
That's cool man.
All that technology. This thing is cool. This is great.
You been learning how to play whipping post on the guitar yet?
No, not yet.
What do you mean, man?
I thought that was one of you retirement goals.
Yeah, well, Inga said if she heard me sing that song in the house
one more time she will go tie me to the whipping post.
I don't know what it is, chicks just don't get the Allman Brothers.
All right. It's ready. Hello.
That's cool.
You forgot your briefcase.
So let's run this through DoJ and Interpol. See if we can get an ID.
You got a fax machine in there?
Uh, wait a minute.
See what this does.
Ah. Yes I do. As a matter of fact.
All right, this guy is Jo Wang Wa.
He is outta Hong Kong.
He is an underboss in the Ho Ming triads.
Ho Mings fronts from the mainland government to get around trade restrictions.
My guess...
P-7 chips are headed straight for the Chinese military.
Find new leads. Find out where they are staying.
Posted Lieutenent.
Oh look out. Hold on.
Shake baby, shake.
What? Maybe a 3.5?
Is that official boss? Because I got 3.4 in the pool.
What do you got Evan?
I got 5.7, sir, but this is not really fair beacause I am from Chicago.
Cortez, the diary thing.
Oh, this is what I got.
The rest was in a code I couldn't crack.
What's this scrambled number here?
Uh, nothing, that's the far east of a Chinese restaurant.
Is it the joint with the crispy noodles?
They ain't got crispy noodles.
Will you get a life? Get out of here.
I'm going, I'm going.
Why is the Chinese restaurant in code?
I remember this place.
This is the place you gonna get your fifth bachelor party.
Hey man, will you give it a rest.
Party of 3? Ten minute wait.
Oh great. Well, actually we just want to ask...
Evan, call for backup and EMS because this guy gets down.
Joe I'll quit him.
I got the out.
Get out of the way.
Get out of my place. Police. Get out of the way.
[Chinese]
Hey, get out of the way. Police. Police. Get out of the way.
Joe?
Evan.
Don't you die on me, Joe. Don't you die on me.
Give me your radio and stay after him.
Through that window up there on the fire escape.
5 George 31. I got an officer down.
5 George 31. I got an officer.. oh hell no signal.
Hold it stop. Stop right there. Get out of the car.
Get your ass out.
San Francisco Museum of Modern Art will close in one hour.
Never lacking the grand entrance.
Like most things in life, it all comes down to timing.
How is Joe?
Still in the hospital.
But he is gonna be fine.
Thank God.
You look great.
Thanks.
If have got an art class to teach in a few minutes.
Well, this will only take 30 seconds.
Signed, sealed, and now delivered.
I never thought you'd do it.
Neither did I.
I have never been a good finisher.
You don't get it do you?
That's your definition. Not mine
See you Kelly.
Soon?
Probably.
What are we waitung for?
You know, why don't we just get Wojak now.
Patience, bubba.
Sorry I'm late.
The reason you stop at a drive thru
is because they have the food all ready.
Am I right?
Did you find him?
Yeah. All four Chinese.
The Hunnington hotel.
And my buddy there tells me, Nash,
they changed their plans.
They are checking out this evening.
Deal's going down tonight.
You have put the wild waters in this roar, allay them.
Dash the fire out.
O, I have suffer'd with those I saw suffer!
a brave vessel, who had some noble creature on her. Dash'd. All to pieces.
Very good.
All right, let's set up the next scene.
-Hello Angel. -Hi.
That was great. That was really great.
-Um... -You can't come, can you?
I wish I could.
That's ok. That last scene sucked anyway, didn't it?
No, not even close.
You were great.
All right everybody. Cassidy, we need you down here.
I gotta go. I love you, daddy.
-Bye -Bye bye.
Identical black Mercedes.
They are trading cars.
One's got the money,
the other's got the chips.
There is my buddy Abe.
I call for backup.
No.
Not yet.
I want to make sure I'm right.
Mr Wojak sends his regards.
Everything seems to be in order.
Very good.
Warm enough for you, sir?
Did I miss the hot towels?
We meet again.
Do you, gentlemen, speak english?
-Perfectly. -That's good.
Then there won't be any misunderstanding.
You see my name is Nash Bridges.
And I am a San Francisco police inspector.
Now I don't give a damn about you boys
or the triad or any of that stuff.
But this guy here, Alex Abe, his ass is mine.
That's enough.
Now unfortunately for you gentlemen
I am gonna take your cars, the money, and the chips.
I said that's enough.
The smart thing is for you to stand up,
say Merry Christmas, walk your ass outta here,
and don't look back.
Stay where you are. I'll handle this.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
You think I won't shoot you in public?
Is that it?
No.
I don't think you'll shoot me if you have to
drag me corpse all over San Francisco.
Let's go. Hustle it up.
Did you get all four?
Yes sir. You've been bigger.
Hold that thought, bubba.
What about Wojak?
Inspector Bridges, Monsieur.
So, Neil, do you ever give this guy any time off?
I bet you think you are here to arrest me, don't you?
No, I am here to return your rent-a-cars.
Of course we took all the stuff out of 'em.
Oh, you are so clever aren't you?
You got nothing at this point a good lawyer couldn't destroy in two minutes.
Not necessary.
How do you figure that?
Well, the Chinese gonna go home empty handed.
No money, no chips...
Who do you think they gonna look for?
Of course their reputation is maybe exaggerated.
Happy Holidays.
Oh sorry, I won't be able to make the party.
I surrender.
Forget about it.
Nobody likes a long court case, bubba.
Hang on.
You are free to go.
Wait a minute, I wanna cut a deal.
Please listen to what I have to offer.
Hey, could you wait?
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