All language subtitles for Four Weddings and a Funeral s01e07_English

DUFFY: Previously on
Four Weddings and a Funeral...

"You will always be
the one that got away.
Love, Maya."

� Are you sure it's for you?
She didn't write "Dear Duffy."

� If you're available,
I'd like to hire you.

The only décor I have
is a dead plant
and a stack of pizza boxes.

� Do you still run the theater?

� I'm directing
The Sound of Music this year.

Would you want to play
Captain Von Trapp?

� I'm in.

� Craig, I vow
to love you more each day.

Every second with you
is a gift.

� Real talk, you're one
of the sickest people I know.

� I think I have feelings
for Bash.

� Do you wanna
come back to my place?

For sex, Garrett.

� Of course
I have feelings for you.

I have since
the first time we met.

DUFFY:
You're in love with Kash.
I found your letter.

� It is not what you think.
Duffy!

Duffy!

[So Long, Farewell
playing on piano]

♪ ♪

KIDS:
♪ So long, farewell ♪

♪ Au revoir,
Auf Wiedersehen ♪

� ♪ I'd like to stay
and taste my first champagne ♪

Yes?

� No.
Oh, fuck!

Oh, sorry.
Sorry, kids.
I'm okay.

� Oh, my God.
I nearly stepped there.
That could've been me!

� Stop being so dramatic,
Parul.

KASH: [grunts, exhales]
MRS. ALI: [laughs softly]

Everyone,
I think we're done for tonight.

Right.

I'm so sorry, Kashif.

This place is just
falling down around us.

� I can get someone
to fix the stage.

� No, no, you've done enough.

You've already
paid for the costumes.

No.

This'll just have to be
our final production.

� No.
The theater can't close.

I'll start doing drugs.
I'll join a gang.

KASH: Okay,
that's pretty dramatic,

but she's right.
They can't close this place.

They'll just turn it
into more flats that
no one around here can afford.

� [laughing] I know,
but you can't have a theater
if you can't afford a stage.

� I might have an idea.

� Is it a bake sale?

We'll barely recoup
the costs of ingredients.

� It's not a bake sale, Parul.

[whispering]
It was a bake sale.

I'll come up with
something else.

SINGER: ♪ It fills a sweet
little place in my heart ♪

♪ Like a sweet little rain
takes care of the flowers ♪

♪ And that's love ♪

♪ Your kind of love ♪

[mellow music]

� Thanks for meeting me.

� I don't have long, so can you
just say what you came to say?

� Okay, um,

that letter you found��
you were right.

It was for Kash,
but I was never
going to send it.

DUFFY: Mm.
[glass thunks]

� Please. Promise me
you won't say anything.

� Cool.

Yeah, so, it's not bad enough
that you broke my heart.

I now have to keep secrets
for you?

� But there's nothing to tell.
Nothing happened.

And I am never going
to see him again.

� Okay, fine.

� Thank you, Duffy.

♪ ♪

Oh, uh, I saw your story
in The New Yorker came out.

It's��it's really good.

� Yeah, oh, yeah.
It's really good.

You know what, Maya?

I don't think that
you and I have anything
to talk about anymore.

[glass thunks]

Cheers.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

� I read the speech
you wrote on increasing
capital gains taxes.

� And?
� Hmm, some excellent points,

all of which are
political suicide.

Try again.

MARCUS:
Do you want me to have
a whack at it?

I just think I might have
a better sense of his voice
than you do.

� Oh, is that why he doesn't
let you tweet for him anymore?

� No, that's because
I accidentally spelt
"Parliament" wrong.

[hand thuds]
Par�lia�ment.

[softly]
Par�lia�ment.

♪ ♪

MAYA:
Well, my dream has always been

to work for a progressive,
diverse female candidate,

but given my current situation,
I'm open to anything.

� But you are looking to stay
in the political field?

� Political, non�profit��

just a job where
I don't have to push an agenda

that's directly opposed
to everything I believe in.

� Well, we are the premier
recruiting agency
for the public sector,

so I'm sure we can
find you something.

[door clatters]

[whispering]
I'll have to call you back.
JODY: We get it.

60% of the calls we get

are from people hiding
in office bathrooms.

[So Long, Farewell
playing on piano]

♪ ���

KIDS:
♪ So long, farewell ♪

♪ Au revoir,
Auf Wiedersehen ♪

[record scratches]

[funky remix plays]

♪ ♪

� It's good, right?

Would you give money
to something like that?

� I would give everything,
yeah, to make this right
between you and me.

� What are you talking about?

� I'm not gonna lie, yeah?

What I'm about to tell you
could threaten the very
foundation of our friendship.

� Bruv,
I know about you and Fatima.

It's all over your Snapchat.
I'm cool with it.

� Bruv, you don't have
to hide your true feelings
with me, okay?

How can I make this better?
You know what?

Hit me with your car.

� If you really want
to make things up to me��

� Well, I ain't gonna sleep
until I do, so go on.

� We need someone to take
a look at the tech system
at the theater.

The lighting desk is a mess.

� Are you sure you don't just
wanna hit me with your car?

I heard it's a much more
cathartic process.

I'm just thinking
of you, really, like��

� Bruv.
� Hm?

Okay, fine, fine.
I'll do it for you.

[phone vibrates]

� Fatima?

� No, that is my mum.
Um, I better answer that.

[laughing] Hey, boo.
I've been thinking about you,
you know?

[laughs]

And Dad'll be thinking
about that as well.

� [sighs, mutters]
What am I doing?

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[computer blips]

� Ladies and gentlemen, the kids
of the Hounslow Community Theatre.

Take it away, guys.

[So Long, Farewell
playing on piano]

[soft dramatic music]

� [sighs]

♪ ♪

Oh, hi.
Garrett, you're here.

Again...
[laughs softly]

GARRETT:
Maya, I was hoping to see you.

Did you know that you

and the poet Maya Angelou��

you share the same first name?

� Yes.
Yes, I did.

� Garrett's really good at
figuring out which celebrities
have the same name as you.

GARRETT: Yeah, right.
Try me, right?
Anyone.

� Uh, Ainsley.

� I don't know.
I don't know.

� It's tough.
Hey, do you wanna
go out tonight?

� Ugh, yes.
Work has been killing me.

I was praised on
an Alt�right website last week.

� Well, Tony 2's taking us
dancing at a gay club.

You wanna come, Garrett?

� [laughs] Right, yeah.
I can't go to gay bars.

It's impolite to give a boner
that you can't reciprocate.

� [softly]
Oh.

� Right.
Let's go shower.

♪ ♪

� What?
We're in Europe.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

� Can you sign my test please?

� 100% in your Latin test?

That's very good.

"Brad Pitt played Achilles
in which film?"

� Troy.

� "What is your name
in pig Latin?"

� Iles�gi.

� Well, what idiot teacher
would put together
a test like this?

� Oh, Duffy!
My man!

How's it going, brother?

� Hey, guys.
How was your honeymoon?

� Oh, man...
[laughs]

I don't know what you heard
about Antarctica,

but it is cold!

A penguin bit my ass.

� Duffy, this place is a mess.

If I wanted a drunk slob
to house sit,

I would've asked
any one of my cousins

or my uncles or my parents.

� Yeah, well,
it's not my fault.

You should fire
your house cleaner

because she said that
I was bumming her out,

and then she left.

� Uh,

is everything okay, Duff?

I mean, this isn't,
uh, Maya�related, is it?

DUFFY:
No, Craig.

I was emotionally destroyed
by a different woman

in the two weeks
that you were gone.

� Oh, no.

You really have the worst luck.

� What?
No.
It's Maya.

I'm still mad at Maya.

� I get it,
but I don't think
she meant to hurt you, brother.

� You don't know that.

Oh, there's a lot about her
that you don't know.

A lot.
� Like what?

� Nothing.
I, uh��I'm late for school.

I'm sorry that
I drank all your alcohol

and I broke your computer
with a virus from a porn.

CRAIG:
What?

♪ ♪

KASH:
The Hounslow Community Theatre
led to my love of the arts

and made me believe
in my potential.

These kids deserve
the same opportunity.

Please.
Give as much as you can.

KIDS:
♪ So long, farewell ♪

♪ Au revoir,
Auf Wiedersehen ♪

� Enough.
Julie Andrews will
be rolling in her grave.

� Julie Andrews is still alive.

� No, you're thinking
of Julie Christie.
I'm right.

[keyboard clacking]

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

� Okay, boys, now Helen of Troy
is described

as "the face that launched
a thousand ships."

What if you had
a secret love letter

written by Helen to Paris
that you could give to Ainsley?

� Who's Ainsley?

� Uh, Menelaus.

And you know I meant Menelaus.
Do not be obtuse, Bernard.

� But, Mr. Duffy,

in this thinly�veiled analogy
to your own romantic failings,

wouldn't showing Menelaus
the letter just start
the Trojan War sooner?

� Yeah, maybe,

or maybe Helen deserves that.

Ah, forget it.
Just��it's��class is dismissed.

So please get out of here.

Go wherever you go.

� Mummy?
What are you doing here?

� I'm here to speak
to Mr. Duffy.
I'll see you later, darling.

What the hell is this?
� [sighs] Gemma.

It's an A+.
The kid's a nerd.
What do you want me to tell you?

� God, you're a state.

� Yeah, I'm kind of going
through some stuff right now.

� Well, snap out of it.
These boys are counting on you.

How are they going to survive
in the world without
a thorough grasp of Latin?

� I'm trying my best, dude.

� Well, dude, I don't pay
a small fortune so that

Giles can sit and listen
to his teacher complain
about how women hate him.

� Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

Well, maybe you could
just transfer him.

I hear they have
a fantastic Latin department
at Saint I�Don't�Give�A�Shit!

� [scoffs]

[scoffs]

� Gemma, wait.
I'm sorry about that.

[exhales]

[Robbie Nevil's
Feels Good to Be Bad]

SINGER: ♪ It feels good
to be bad, bad, bad ♪

SINGER:
♪ I wanna do whatever
I wanna do ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels good ♪

♪ To be bad ♪

♪ A little fun
never hurt anyone ♪

♪ Life's a party ♪

� Oh, my God.
I needed a night out.

Two Appletinis please.

� This isn't a movie.
This is a real gay bar.

Order a normal drink.

� Three gin and
slimline tonics, please.

� So, what's going on
with Garrett?

He seems really

sweet and uncomplicated��

like a golden retriever.

� Okay,
I know you think he's dumb,

and he is...
[laughs]

But in his defense,

he only eats one meal
every two days.

And it's not like we're dating.
I barely even know him.

� So you're, like,
strangers with benefits.

AINSLEY: Exactly.
� I like that.

� Besides, after Kash,

I didn't think I was gonna ever
wanna be with anyone again,

but...I'm totally fine.

� Yeah, well, you sounded fine
three times this morning.

Up top, Ains, whoo!
� Oh, shit!

� Oh, my God.
Andrew.

� Oh, you need to stop
thinking about your boss.
It's like...[babbles]

� No, no.
He's here.

SINGER:
♪ Get a little bit nasty ♪

� [laughs]
Hi, Andrew.

What a fun surprise.
Do you come to G�A�Y often?

� I like the subtlety
of the name.

Hello, I'm Andrew.
AINSLEY: Hi.

Hi, I'm Ainsley.

� Oh, I know you.

� Ah, yes, it's me,
Andrew Aldridge,

the first openly gay MP
in my party.

It's quite a story.
If we had time...

The year was 2002.

Nicole Kidman was about
to win the Oscar by a nose.

AINSLEY: [laughs]
TONY 2: Well, that's just it.

It was 2002.
What have you done since then?

� I beg your pardon?

� Since coming out,
you've completely forgotten
about people like me.

� I think you're mistaken.

My voting record is impeccable.

� Yes, on issues like
cutting inheritance tax
for millionaires,

and "keeping Britain British."

� Uh, Maya, your friend doesn't
know what he's talking about.

� He's��he's more
Ainsley's friend.

� [clicks tongue]
� You may have been brave once,

but now you only help
rich, old white people.

You're a gay dinosaur.

That's why everyone
calls you LGBT�Rex.

ANDREW:
That's enough.

I will not be spoken down to
by a man in a mesh top.

♪ ♪

� Okay, well,
I think we've all learned
a lot here tonight at G�A�Y,

and so Ainsley and I
are gonna say B�Y�E.
Bye.

� Aww��oh.
Nice to meet you.

♪ ♪

� You don't remember me, do you?
� No.

� Halloween two years ago.

I was Britney,
Slave 4 U era.

You were Richard Gere,
An Officer and a Gentleman.

You kept your socks on.

I thought we had a nice time.

But I guess it's too much
to ask someone like you
to remember someone like me.

♪ ♪

[mellow guitar music]

� [laughs]

Ta�da!
I went a lot over budget!

� Well, I think, uh��
I think this is all right.

� [gasps]
All right?

Do you know how hard it was
to design a home

for a gruff,
monosyllabic oilman?

� No.

� Very hard.
I want compliments.

� Well, um, all right.

I'd say, um,
yeah, I think this works.

� [scoffs]

� Well, that is effusive
for me.

� Oh, come on.

You spent half an hour
describing the nuance

of Clint Eastwood's performance
in The Outlaw Josey Wales.

� People just give
too many compliments.

Everyone's like,
"That's amazeballs.
I'm #dead."

I'll, uh, I'll tell somebody
something's good when I��
when I mean it.

Hey, what's that?

Is that Love Field?

AINSLEY:
Yes.

That is an artist rendering
from the 1950s.

That's such a pretty name
for an airport.

� My father designed
that building.

� I know, dummy.
That's why
I put it on your wall.

� Ainsley Howard.
Now, this?

This is good.

� You're right.
That does feel better
knowing you really mean it.

[laughs]

� So what's next?

� That's it.

My work here is done.

� Really?
You finished?

� I am.

But it's been a real pleasure.

I'm gonna miss
working with you.

� The garden��
you can decorate the garden.

� Well,
I'm not really a landscaper.

� Uh, well, I trust your eye.

� Okay.
Well, it's your money.
I'm happy to spend it.

BOTH:
[laugh]

♪ ♪

ANDREW:
Just look at this.

Why do I hire young people
if they can't prevent
things like this?

You're supposed
to keep me awoken.

� Oh, do you mean woke?

� Do I?

How dare that man say that
I only help people like me.

How do you explain my support
for the women's flower club
or the children's library bus?

Do I look like a woman
or a child, Tony?

� Uh, it's Marcus��

my��my name.

MAYA:
Well, I can't speak for Tony,

but maybe he's referring
to your party's

less than progressive stance

on...everything.

� Oh, I just��

I just hate that people
might think I'm the bad guy.

I'm not the bad guy.

I voted for Black History Week.

� Month.
� A whole month?

Well...[stammers]
That's wonderful.

� Can I just say that

I'm thrilled that
you're concerned about this.

I would love to help you
change your image.

� What do you suggest?

� Maybe you could pair a suit
with some fun sneakers.

� Or maybe you could support
a cause that people wouldn't
expect from you,

like an at�risk youth program
or a women's shelter.

� Oh, yes.
Good idea, Maya.
Compile a list.

� Uh, what about a struggling
community theater in Hounslow?

� What?
No.

� I�I just don't think
that's a good idea.

� Wait.
What is it?

� It's a bunch of poor,

ethnically diverse kids doing
Sound of Music.

Picture it, sir��
Muslims, Hindus,

girls in headscarves,
risking everything to sing.

Probably.
Think of the photo op.

� Sounds perfect.

� Yeah, or not.

I can��I can come up
with some other options.

� She's just jealous that
she didn't think of it first.

ANDREW:
The decision is made.

These children are in need.

Well done, Marcus.

♪ ♪

� Mr. Duffy, is it true
that you told a parent

if they disliked
your teaching style,

they could transfer
their child to,

"Saint I�Don't�Give�A�Shit's"?

� Headmaster Mould,
I'm kinda going through

some unprecedented
relationship trauma.

Would you ever consider
a paid sabbatical?

� No.

This academy stayed open
during the Blitz.

A math teacher confronted
a German paratrooper

and beat him to death
with a trigonometry book.

� Oh, my God.

� The point is,
you're not getting time off

just because some girl
you've dated for a month
has dumped you.

� [softly]
How did you know that?

� Because you told everyone.

Mr. Duffy,
you leave me no choice

but to assign another teacher
to monitor your classes

until you find yourself.

� Oh, yeah?
Who?

TABBY:
Hello, Duffy.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

� Hi, Tabby.

� Okay, the next cue
is on page 32.

And lights out.

[phone blipping]

[keypad clacking]

Bruv, come on.

� Oh!
Oh, shit.
Sorry, bro.

� Go to the next cue.
Stop texting Fatima.
[phone blips]

[phone thunks]
� There it is��

that anger and resentment that
you keep saying doesn't exist.

Let it go, my brother.
Let it come outside your body.

� I'm only angry because
it's taken you an hour

to get through five light cues.

� You're probably right.

Let me get to��here it comes.
Here it comes, yeah?

Here we go.

� Thank you.

Okay, and then the lights
come up on page 33.
[phone blips]

� [chuckles]
She's funny.

KASH:
Bash, turn on the lights!

MAYA:
If you could give us
a tour and maybe tell us

a little bit about what
you guys do here, 'cause we��

� Maya?
� Yeah, well, of course.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

MRS. ALI: Well,
we lost our local authority
funding a couple of years ago,

and we haven't been able
to raise enough money
to do the repairs.

� Oh, that's
just heartbreaking.

� Uh, you voted for
that austerity bill, sir.

� Well, this is exactly

what I'm looking for.

I'd like to personally fund

the renovations
of this whole theater.

How does the
"Andrew Aldridge

Hounslow Community Theatre"
sound?

� Are you serious?

� Or should it be
the "Andrew Aldridge
Ethnically Diverse

Community Theatre
for Low�Income Urchins"?

ANDREW: No, no.
Mine's better.

Give me a tour.

MRS. ALI: [laughing] Well, yes.
Let's start with the wings.

� Love the...
MRS. ALI: Please, watch your step.

� Thanks so much for this.

After the way we left things
at the wedding, I didn't think
I'd see you again.

� Trust me.
I had nothing to do with this.

This is literally
the last place on Earth
I wanna be.

� Wait, so you're not here
because of me?

� No, I'm here for work,

and maybe some kind
of cosmic punishment?

� Maya!

Ooh, you looking good, girl.
Ooh.

I didn't mean that
as a come on, by the way,
because I'm taken now, so...

Sorry, mate.
I keep rubbing salt
in your wounds, innit?

� Uh, Fatima and I broke up.

Turns out she's in love
with this guy.

� Huh?

She in love with me?
She told you that?

� Bruv, can we have a minute?

� Yes, you can.

� Look, this whole thing
with Fatima, I��

� It's none of my business.
I�I don't care.
� Do you two know each other?

� No, not really.
� Yes, we have mutual friends.

� Oh, that's lucky.
In that case, Maya can
be my point person here,

overseeing the renovations

and handling
any press interest.

� Wait, no.
This is Marcus' project.

He should be the one
to see it through.

� Yep, but you already
have a relationship here.

Plus, given the optics,

you're a little more
au courant.

� Are you saying I'm too white?

� Uh, well, legally,
I'm not allowed to say that,

but yes, that's all I'm saying.

� Yeah.
� Shall we?

� Yes, let's come through
the auditorium,

and I'll take you out to the...

� I guess we're gonna
be seeing a lot more of you
'round here, then.

� Urbs antiqua fuit.

� [enunciating]
Urbs antiqua fuit.

� That's what I said.

� No, it isn't.
Your pronunciation's terrible.

[speaking in Latin]

� I hate to side with Miss,

but I do think lessons
could be more rigorous.

I couldn't understand
any of that.

[bell rings]

[chairs shuffling]

[bright music]

DUFFY:
Hey!

Hey, you!

Stop!

You narc!
You narc!

� Will you please stop
shouting in a public square?

This isn't Italy.

� You grassed on me
to the headmaster,

and now he has Tabby
spying on my ass!

� Well, she obviously
isn't doing a very good job.

You still appear
unhinged and unwashed.

� You know what?
I'm sorry.

I just lost my girlfriend,

and you of all people
should understand.

� Are you taking the piss?

� [grunts, yelps]

� My husband died,
you insensitive oaf!

I have eggs my refrigerator
that have lasted longer
than your relationship.

� I'm sorry.
Shit!

I'm sorry!

Yes.

I know it's not the same.

It's just...
it's just that Maya was��

GEMMA: Oh, shut up
and get over it.

You're a hungover,
30�year�old man

in stained trousers
who doesn't like his life.

You can try to blame
Maya or Tabby or me,

but the real person you should
be blaming is yourself.

I say this as a friend.

Get your shit together,
you idiot!

[Rodgers and Hammerstein's
Maria]

SINGER:
♪ How do you solve
a problem like Maria? ♪

♪ How do you catch a cloud
and pin it down? ♪

♪ How do you find a word
that means Maria? ♪

♪ A flibbertigibbet,
a will�o'�the�wisp ♪

♪ A clown ♪

♪ Many a thing you know
you'd like to tell her ♪

♪ Many a thing
she ought to understand ♪

♪ But how do you
make her stay ♪

♪ And listen to all you say ♪

♪ How do you keep a wave
upon the sand? ♪

♪ Oh, how do you solve
a problem like Maria? ♪

♪ How do you hold ♪

♪ A moonbeam ♪

♪ In your ♪

♪ Hand? ♪

ALL: ♪ How do you solve
a problem like Maria? ♪

♪ How do you catch a cloud
and pin it down? ♪

♪ How do you find a word
that means Maria? ♪

♪ A flibbertigibbet,
a will�o'�the�wisp ♪

♪ A clown ♪

♪ Many a thing you know
you'd like to tell her ♪

♪ Many a thing
she ought to understand ♪

♪ But how do you
make her stay ♪

♪ And listen to all you say? ♪

♪ How do you keep a wave
upon the sand? ♪

♪ Oh, how do you solve
a problem like Maria? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ How do you hold ♪

♪ A moonbeam ♪

♪ In your hand? ♪

� Tabby.

Hey, Tabby.

Hi.
� What do you want, Duffy?

I'm waiting for someone.

� I just wanna say
I'm so sorry about the way

I handled things between us.

And you should know that
I got what I deserved.

� Well,
I appreciate you saying that.

� Yeah, so,

I guess we're both,
um, members of the
Lonely Hearts Club now, huh?

� What?
Oh, no, I'm not single.

Actually, I'm dating
another American guy.

He's a writer too.

� Oh, awesome.

Anyone I would know?

� Probably not��
he writes mostly
romance novels.

[tires rustling on road]
Oh, this is me.

Well, see you later, Duffy.

[car door slams]

[car whirrs]

� You know, you really
don't have to do that.

� Yeah, I know,
but I felt kinda guilty
watching Mrs. Ali do it,

especially when she kept
saying, "Ow, my arthritis."

� [laughs softly]
Well, I'm sorry
you got stuck helping us.

� I'm not.

Contrary to what Andrew thinks,
I didn't get into politics

to help him decide which tie
makes him look less racist.

BOTH:
[laugh]

� So, why did you get into it?

� Uh, to help people?

� Really?
Are you a do�gooder?

Well, have you thought
about doing something else?

� Yeah, I've thought about it��

called a headhunter
and everything,

but since Andrew seems
to have found a heart,

I'm actually enjoying the job.

� Well, I'm glad you're here.

� Me too.

[light crashes]

[door creaks]

BASHEER: Sorry about that!
� Come on, bruv!

[door bell jingles]

� [sniffs]
[door clatters]

Oh.

What are you doing here?

You finally thought
of a decent comeback?

Only took you a month.

� Uh, no.

I'd like to apologize.

� For what?

Brexit?
Austerity?

Fracking?

That waistcoat?

� Oh, no.
I'd never apologize
for this waistcoat.

I've had it since university,
and I never had to let it out.

No, I'm...sorry

I didn't remember you.

[sighs]
Um,

I'm not accustomed to,
uh, dating.

In my line of work,

a personal life is a liability,

especially if you're...like us.

So, I'd like to move on.

There's a production of
The Sound of Music
this Saturday��

� Stop.

You don't really
want to date me.

You just want to make yourself
feel better.

Well, I'd rather
you left me out of it.

[soft dramatic music]

� I'm sorry.
I��I won't bother you again.

♪ ♪

[door bell jingles]

TONY 2:
[exhales]

[bright music]

BASHEER:
Kashif!

Kashif, I know you're in
'cause I heard the toilet flush.

KASH: What...
[sighs]

� Bruv,

I got some bad news.

♪ ♪

Go there.

It's real bad.

� You lost all of the lighting
cues I gave you?

� Okay, now I have two pieces
of bad news for you.

Listen, man.
Me and Fatima
are getting serious.

� Oh, God, not this again.

� Bro, we had the families
meet up last night,
and let me tell you this.

It could not have gone better.

I know you must be gutted
to hear that.
I'm very sorry.

� Bash, how many times
do I have to tell you
I'm happy for you two?

� Are you serious?

You got no lingering emotions?

No feelings of utter emascula��

� For the love of God, no.
I like Maya.

� I could see that, yeah.
Oh, hold on a minute.

Ain't she your ex�fiancée's...

� Yeah.
Exactly.

� Shit.

Sit down.
Sit down.
You know what, my brother?

Listen to me.
Don't stress about it.

Listen, if it's meant to be,

you two will find your way
to each other.

� I hope you're right, man.
BASHEER: Yeah.

And listen, man, I��
I'm so glad that
you're over Fatima, you know?

� [laughs softly]

� 'Cause here's the thing��
our chaperone
cancelled tonight.

[cheerful music]

� You know, um, Basheer, it's��

it's very reassuring
for a woman to know that

her man can escape a room
in under half an hour.

� It's very important.
� Yeah.

� I also know exactly what
to do in a Purge situation.

� Okay.
� Go hiding.

BOTH:
[laugh]

Funny.
� Yeah, hilarious.

� Mm.

[mellow music]

[remote clicking]

♪ ♪

� Hey, your honeymoon photos
are just outtakes from
Fifty Shades of Grey.

� Were you at a nudist colony?

� No, this was just Heathrow
before we left.

Hang on.
I'm sure I took
some decent ones.

� Oh, cool, Craig's butt.

It's like
we're roommates again.

� Oh, look at you.

� What's up with the blazer?
Is it your confirmation?

� What?
No.

You know,
can't a guy update his look?

� No.
I'm the sharp dresser
in the group.

Stay in your lane, playboy.

� Well, I like it.

♪ ♪

� Mm.

� So, how's our friend
Andrew doing?

� He's good.
You certainly made
an impression.

� [sarcastic laugh] Doubt it.
MAYA: No, you did.

He's now sponsoring
the renovation
of a community theater

in Hounslow because
of what you said to him.

� What?
You sure it's not just a front

so he can force immigrant
children to polish his silver?

� [laughs softly]
No, it's real.

They're doing Sound of Music.

You know,
Andrew must really
value your opinion,

'cause he pays me for mine,

and still does not
listen to it.

� Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No more talk about Andrew.

I hate him.
He makes you work,
like, 90 hours a week.

I never see her anymore.

� I know.
I'm so sorry.

It's just been so busy.

� Okay, well, last night,
I had to eat dinner alone
like a sad friend widow.

I had to smell your sweater
yesterday to remember you.

I'm so lame.
BOTH: [laugh]

� Mm.

♪ ♪

[cart clicks]

� Oh, hi, Duffy.
� Yeah.

I'm not stealing this.

I�I left it here a couple weeks
ago and Ainsley never drank it,
so I just...

It's really nice to see you.

� You too.

Hey, I�I know
I put you in an awkward��

� No, no.
It's�it's fine.
I'm over it.

[laughs softly]

I really am over it.

ZARA:
Ah, ooh, here's one at brunch,

right before we had sex
in the omelet line.

� Oh, boy.
BOTH: [laugh]

MAYA: Oh, boy.
� It's gonna be bad.

BOTH:
[laugh]

BRYCE:
Huh.
Well, this is interesting.

Turns out Kew Gardens has the
oldest pot plant in the world.

1770.

BOTH: [laugh]
� Now that is a neat fact.

� [laughs]

� What?
� Nothing, no.

You just always get so excited
about little facts.

You remind me of my seventh
grade history teacher.

� Hmm, don't love that.
� Oh, no, no.

He was cute.
All the girls had
a crush on him.

Anyway,
let's talk about your backyard.

� Sure.

� Um, is there anything you're
seeing that you like, or...

� Honestly, I��
I hardly know one flower
from another.

Same goes for wine.

� Oh, I��
I don't know anything
about wine either.

I mean, I pretend I do
so that I seem fancy, but��

� Naturally.
� Honestly,

my favorite is still the house
red from the Cracker Barrel.

� Oh, hell no.
� [laughs]

� Yeah.
Shit, yeah.

You're a Texas girl.
� Yeah.

� I had my first kiss
in a Cracker Barrel.

� Oh, let me tell you
about a Texas first kiss.

� Come on now.
� Okay.

Mine was in the back
of a pickup truck

after a football game.

� Classic.
� I got chiggers.

BOTH: [laughs]
� Yeah, you would.

� When I'm talking to you,
I feel like I'm back home.

� I feel like I'm home too.

[tender piano music]

♪ ♪

Been wanting to do that
for a long time.

� I'm sorry.

I'm seeing someone, and...

I just can't.

[mouthing]
I'm sorry.

[door clicks]
� Ah, there you are.

Um, how far along are we

on that
Hounslow theater project?

� Uh, the opening night's
this weekend, remember?

You're the guest of honor.

I just ordered
a hundred cupcakes
with your face on them.

� Oh, that's unfortunate.

� What is going on?

� Uh, the party whip
reacted negatively

to Andrew bankrolling
a theater in Hounslow.

� Of course he did.
Why?

Because it's
an immigrant neighborhood
full of brown people?

� Uh, no, because
it's one of the opposition's
constituencies.

God, you're racist
for even saying that.

� [softly]
Oh, my God.

� Whatever the reason,
this isn't worth jeopardizing
my position in the party.

Moving on.
� No, not moving on.

You can't pull out
right now, okay?

If you're not there
on Saturday, no one will show.

No one will donate.
� Why do you care so much?

You didn't want to do this
in the first place.

� Well, because Ka��
everyone there

has worked really hard,
and what am I gonna
tell the kids?

� Oh, tell them
I've been taken ill.

That's what my father did
for all my birthdays.

I'm sorry,
but politics forces us
to make difficult decisions.

I've made up my mind.
� But you can't do this.

� Ah, I said
I've made up my mind.

If you don't agree,
you can find work elsewhere.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

� [sighs]

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

� [gasps]
Shit.
Oh, shit, shit, shit.

BRYCE:
I can hear you saying "shit."

� Bryce.
Hi.

� Uh, look,
I'm sorry about yesterday.

I didn't know you were
seeing somebody.

But I don't regret it.

I like you,

and I'd be mad at myself if I��

if I let you walk away
without telling you how I feel.

� Well, I'm sorry too for

giving you
the wrong impression.

I am dating someone,
and it's serious.

� Totally understand.
No hard feelings.

� So I guess you should
find somebody else
to finish your garden.

� I never cared about
the garden, Ainsley.

♪ ♪

� Oh, don't bother to knock.
A closed door
is but a suggestion.

� Listen, if you want
to fire me, you can fire me��

� You're fired.
� But let me talk first.

You made a promise
to those kids.

You can't do this.

� Do you think
this makes me feel good?

I saw that cute little Sikh boy
who played Kurt.

He kept pushing up
his little glasses.

� So help him.
� There is more at stake.

I have my seat to think of.

� What is the point
of having a seat

if you don't use it
to help people?

� Don't lecture me.
I've been in office since
before you were born.

The problem
with your generation

is you don't know what
a hard choice looks like.

� [scoffs] First of all,
my generation is drowning
in your generation's debt,

and we're all gonna die
of climate change.

Second of all,
"It is incumbent on us

as public servants to give
voice to the voiceless."

� Oh, and who said that?
Oprah?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie?

� Whoa, you know how
to pronounce that?

And no, it's not her anyway.

[sighs]

� It is incumbent on us
as public servants

to give voice
to the voiceless,

and to remember that
we govern and act

on behalf of the people.
[men agreeing]

We must elevate
those who cannot rise

on their own.

I promise to carry out
my duties, to serve,

and to represent each
and every one of them.

[cheers and applause]

You know, I can't disagree
with that handsome bastard.

� [sighs]

� Are we all ready,
little Von Trapplets?

And, ooh, there we are.

Now, smile for the cameras,
especially the nuns.

♪ ♪

Well, I just think��
well, I think it's gonna
be absolutely marvelous.

I think your children
are absolutely terrific.

It's going to be��um,
would you, uh, just excuse me?

Just for a moment?

You came.

� I'm sorry.

I was a basic bitch,

but...well,
you forgot me so easily,

and...and it hurt,

'cause I didn't forget you.

� Yes, I suppose you were
somewhat of a basic bitch,

but, um,

perhaps I deserved it.

� So you never really date?

How can that be true?

� Well, I became an MP
30 years ago.

Back then, we didn't have
what we have now��

marriage, adoption.

Sam Smith would've been
forced to marry Adele.

� [laughs] But think of
the wonderful Christmas album
they would have made.

� [chuckles]

I'm glad you came tonight,

Tony,

because you're someone
worth remembering.

♪ ♪

Uh, shall we, um...

[Something Good
playing on piano]

♪ ♪

� ♪ So somewhere in my youth ♪

♪ Or childhood ♪

♪ I must have done ♪

♪ Something good ♪

♪ ♪

BOTH:
♪ Nothing comes from nothing ♪

♪ Nothing ever could ♪

MARIA:
♪ So somewhere in my youth ♪

♪ ♪

BOTH:
♪ I must have done ♪

♪ Something ♪

♪ Good ♪

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]
� Oh, excuse me.

� Hey, that was the greatest
thing I've ever seen,

and I've seen
Chicago 78 times.

� And what did Andrew think?

� He said that we did something
really important tonight.

� We?
You tried to kill
this yesterday.

� Yes.

And it's a testament
to the strength of our idea

that it succeeded
nonetheless...
[laughs softly]

BASHEER:
Oh, here he is!
[cheers and applause]

� Well, you didn't suck.
� Thanks, bro.

� Wonderful job, beta.
� Thanks, Dad.

� It good to have hobbies��
like me and my checkers club.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[phone dings]

� [sighs]

[keypad clacking]

[phone blips]

[phone dings]

[sighs]

[keypad clacking]

[phone blips]

[sighs]

� Take care.
Good to see you.

Bye.

� Hi.
I'm gonna head off.

But I just��
I just wanted to say

you were really good.

� Thank you.

Uh, before you go,

can I show you something?

♪ ♪

MAYA: What?
KASH: Look.

� Oh, cool.

� I did it when I was 10.

BOTH:
[laugh]

� I basically lived here
when I was a kid.

� Oh, that's nice.

� Thank you for everything.

� Oh, I didn't do anything.

KASH:
Yes, you did.

You gave me the courage
to act again,

even if it is only
community theater.

I'm happy,
and it's all because of you.

[gentle piano music]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ I believe in
a thing called love ♪

♪ Just listen
to the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There's a chance we could
make it now ♪

♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪

♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪

♪ Love, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ I want to kiss you
every minute ♪

♪ Every hour, every day ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You got me in a spin
but everything will be okay ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ God, you're touching me ♪

♪ I believe in
a thing called love ♪

♪ Just listen to
the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There's a chance
we can make it now ♪

MAN: Go to bed.