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When Kat was 11 years old,

she went on a family vacation to Sandals, Jamaica.

I need help! Someone get this jellyfish off me!

She quickly discovered that she hated the ocean.

Up until that moment, Kat had a relatively good life.

I mean, life wasn't amazing,

but it's not like she fantasized about killing herself.

It was good enough. She was popular enough, smart enough.

The only thing that was, like, actually amazing was Daniel.

Daniel was like a dream, like, gorgeous, like, really nice.

Like, the kind of boy that would text her every night before bed and say...

And the kind of boy that would meet her outside of school every morning

just to make sure he could hold her hand as they walked down the hall.

She could never figure out why Daniel chose her,

what Daniel actually liked or loved about her.

She just knew it felt really good.

Whatever. It didn't matter. It's better not to jinx these things.

- Can I have another one? - Sure.

During her eight-day stay on that stupid island,

Kat drank 72 virgin piña coladas.

She was in heaven.

And then she got home.

Oh, my God. What happened?

When Kat had left for Jamaica, she was 107 pounds,

when she returned, she weighed in at whopping...

Get up!

Despite being five-two, which was tall for her age...

her body was not prepared to house the extra 20 pounds.

It was noticeable.

Kat did her best to minimize the fallout.

- You're wearing two sweatshirts? - No.

At least Daniel didn't make a big deal out of it.

That's why she liked him. He didn't care about what people thought.

He liked her for whatever reasons he liked her,

and 20 stupid pounds would never change that.

Until fourth period.

It wasn't even in Daniel's handwriting.

It was Kendra Sutherland's.

Whatever. Fuck her. Fuck him.

She didn't actually love Daniel. She was 11.

And when you're 11, you fall in love with, like, everyone and everything.

It's not real love.

Real love is when you can't exist without someone,

when you'd rather die than be apart,

and the whole world goes dark, and nothing else matters

but the person standing in front of you.

I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in.

For the first time in 140 years,

I felt something I thought had been lost to me forever.

Say you'll wait for me.

We love each other.

That's real love, and those were real men.

Men who'd never leave her, disappoint her, break her heart.

Real men whose love would spark and ignite and inspire.

The summer before high school she started writing fan fiction.

By the year's end, she had become

one of the most prolific smut writers on Tumblr.

She was known for her AU crossovers and her consistent NC-17 ratings.

But what made her famous was her story, "The First Night,"

a 7,000-word fic that was largely credited

with starting the "Larry Stylinson" conspiracy theory.

That Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction were secretly fucking.

"It's the first night of the 'Take Me Home' tour."

London, we've got a little song for you tonight!

"Louis was unusually nervous.

His mouth was dry, palms sweating,

when suddenly, he felt the press of Harry's body from behind.

"Harry can sense the nervous tension "running through Louis's stiff body.

- 'What are you doing?' - 'To calm your nerves.'

"'You're my best mate, and this is what mates do for one another.'

- 'But Harry, what if someone sees?' - 'Let them.'

"As Harry takes Louis into his mouth with surprising ease,

he begins to suck his cock with torturous finesse."

Kat doesn't even have asthma.

She's just fat and doesn't wanna exercise.

With 72 hours of publishing "The First Night,"

it had garnered 184,265 notes,

and then three weeks later, Kat had amassed over 53,000 followers.

She had become extremely popular... online.

No one in real life knew that she was famous.

Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp...

And no one online knew that her life was actually super depressing.

Ew! Take those things off.

She'd regularly fantasize about telling her followers

how much she hated her school, her town,

and how everyone in it was full of shit and a fucking asshole.

She'd tell them to surround the school,

show up right after the morning bell prepared for war.

They'd demand the release of their queen.

And if anyone even hesitated...

The scary thing is, is they'd actually do it.

They'd do anything she asked.

That's how much they loved her.

Granted, they didn't know who she was or what she looked like.

It's me, ThunderKitKat.

And then that video came out. And they did see what she looked like,

and they still loved her.

And not only did they love her, they wanted to fuck her.

Hey, I'm Rue. I'm an addict.

Hi, Rue.

And I've been clean for 60 days.

For the record, I'm not not telling the truth.

I've actually been doing really well.

Because the morning after that whole

drug-dealer-face-tattoo fentanyl excursion,

I... got in a little bit of trouble...

Oh, shit.

...for disappearing for like 16 hours.

Where have you been?

- I'm sorry. My phone died. - Bullshit. You're doing drugs.

- I'm not doing drugs. - Then where have you been?

And why weren't you answering you phone?

- Why are you sneaking into the house? - I was with someone.

- Who? - It... It doesn't matter, Mom.

It matters, Rue.

It matters. You're doing drugs.

Gia, go back to sleep.

- Rue, are you... are you okay? - I'm fine. You can go back to sleep.

She's okay, baby. Okay, go to bed. Good night.

I will not allow you to walk up into this house

at 5:30 in the morning and lie to my face.

So tell me the truth right now. Where were you?

I don't want to have to tell you everything that's going on in my life.

If you want to drug test me, just drug test me.

She wasn't the only person upset with me.

I'm not kidding, Rue. I'm not trying to become best friends with someone

who's gonna fucking kill themself.

I know.

I didn't mean to do this.

I've been through, like...

enough traumatic shit in my life that I don't...

- I can't like... - I get it.

I get it.

I don't want to be around you if you don't stop using drugs.

Okay.

I mean it.

I know. I'll stop.

I promise.

I just need you to do me a favor.

You're not gonna like it.

You're still grounded until I don't even fucking know.

- What else is there? - I told you I wasn't lying.

So, I decided to stay clean. And I have been, for a while.

But I've also been coming to this meeting for longer.

Girl, it's your 60 days today, right?

Ah! Oh, God. So good!

Hmm, I don't know. I just didn't want to depress anyone.

Plus, I really have been trying, and that counts for something.

Two months ago, I woke up from a comma.

I didn't know what happened,

but from the looks of my mother and little sister's faces,

I knew that...

whatever it was, whatever I did...

...it wasn't good.

It scared them.

It really scared them.

And, at that moment, I decided to at least try and change.

'Cause I owe it to them.

I owe it to everyone I love, and everyone who loves me.

The hardest part, has been...

...feeling like I owe it to myself.

And, maybe that'll get easier.

I hope it will. Thank you.

I don't know. It's just been a really weird couple of weeks.

I didn't know it at the time, but Jules was falling in love.

I'm not saying I'm in love.

I'm just saying I really, really, really like him.

- Who? ShyGuy118? - His name is Tyler.

It doesn't really matter. They're both little fuckboy names.

He's not. For real, like, he's so sweet.

- What school does he go to? - St. Mary's.

Ew. Private school.

You're just jealous.

Aside from that being a really shitty thing to say, it's also not true.

She'd just been acting weird all week.

I'm not jealous.

I mean, you've been acting weird, like, all week.

- What? - Yeah, like,

every time I'm on my phone, you just stop talking.

- You're literally like my dad. - Sorry.

It's fine.

You wanna see his dick?

Stick it out!

What a tiny twink!

Shut it. Just give it...

What the fuck?

Fucking step on it. It's too small,

- It could never satisfy you. - Kat! Dinner!

I'll get her.

Ay, Jesus, girl.

Kat! Hey!

What?

Take pictures of your toes later. Dinner's on the table.

Bye. Love you. See ya.

I can't believe I haven't even told you, how insane my parents are being.

All week long, she's just been going on and on...

...about how much she hates my dad.

I'm just like, you can't do this to me. He's my dad.

I don't know. I know he has issues, but so does she.

And he's not telling me shit about her.

Yeah. That's, like, not cool of your mom to put you in that situation.

Yeah, but if I say that, then she's gonna make me an enemy, too.

Literally the last thing I need right now is...

Who keeps texting you?

- My dad. - Well, do you want me to respond?

- He's texted you like 15 times. - No, I'll just... call him later.

I mean, it's huge, right?

- Mm... - Don't front. It's a big dick.

You know what? It may be, but, we can't really tell,

'cause it's just fucking floating in space.

- So? - So, there's no way to compare scale.

If there's a fucking hand in the frame, at least you can be,

it's about the size of an adult male hand.

Or like twice the size. Or a fucking fraction of the size.

Rue. This is an objectively big dick.

Some people say that eyes are the windows to the soul.

I disagree.

I think it's your dick and how you fucking photograph it.

There are two different types of dick pics.

Solicited, and unsolicited.

Solicited makes up for about one percent of all dick pics sent and received.

But within that one percent, there are three categories.

Jules?

Terrifying, horrifying, and acceptable.

I know what some of you are thinking.

Rue, terrifying and horrifying sound like the same thing.

Well, to a trained eye, it could be the difference between...

Yo, sorry about the mess. My mom's, like, out of town?

A basic hygiene issue.

Or...

...or a life or death situation.

So, here are some key things to look out for.

Uncapped deodorant touching the floor. Horrifying.

Jug of lotion.

Terrifying.

Dirty fingernails.

Horrifying.

A medieval sword?

Run-for-your-fucking-life terrifying.

So, what constitutes this rarefied, sought after, acceptable dick pic?

Wow. Okay.

So his penis is the size of an Evian bottle.

- Well, the lighting is nice. - Mm-hmm.

- His room looks clean. - Mm-hmm.

- Looks well-groomed. - Right?

Okay, yeah. I'm beginning to understand the appeal.

Thank you.

But here's the thing.

I sent him a few pics from the school bathroom during class.

- Wait. Like, nudes? - I can't talk about it.

- But I need your help. - Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

I want, like, good, professional partial nudes.

Like, classy, but not too arty.

Like, like I took them with very little thought or effort

but could also be in fucking MOMA.

Be cool, Rue.

- Yeah. It's, like, easy. Whatever. - Yeah.

Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

Hey. Look at you, still doing the grapefruit diet.

Yep, I literally wanna die.

Yeah. It's only bad for the first two weeks.

Then your stomach shrinks, and you adjust, and you are reborn.

Oh, wow. Can't wait.

- How much? - That'll be $3.25.

Yo, can you please, maybe hurry the fuck up?

Could I pay you the rest tomorrow?

- I'm sorry, baby. There's a policy. - Hey, Kat, I, I gotcha.

- Oh, hi. - Hey. How you doing?

- I'm good. How are you? - Sweet. I'm good.

- Hey, Erika. How much was it? - $3.25.

I have, like, $1.25 here.

Do you... For a grapefruit?

- Do you want something else to eat? - Oh, no.

No, 'cause if you don't have enough money on you right now,

I can get you, like, some actual food, or...

She's doing the grapefruit diet. It's not easy. Don't tempt her.

Okay.

Cool.

All right.

- Thank you. - Yeah, well...

- I'll see you in, biology. - Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

- Yeah. Sure. - Goodbye.

- Aw, man, do it upright. - Fuck it.

- Aw, you got moked out. - You suck, man.

So you're basically in a long-distance relationship.

No, we like FaceTime every night.

Aw, that's so sweet. You guys are full-on in love.

Oh, my God. Stop!

- I really like you. - I like you, too, Cassie.

I like you more.

We are not in love.

But he did invite me to spend the weekend with him.

- Like, the whole weekend? - Yeah, like Friday and Saturday night.

Wait, is your mom gonna let you go?

It doesn't matter. I'll just kill her in her sleep if she doesn't let me.

- Sounds like true love to me. - Whatever. She can't stop me.

- Honestly, I love your mom... - Yeah, well try living with her.

Do any of you guys know how Bitcoin works?

- Hmm. No. - No.

But you know who probably does?

It's a worldwide cryptocurrency and digital payment system.

I literally have no clue what you're talking about.

Well, there's no easier way to explain it.

Look, why don't you just tell us what you're trying to do,

and we can tell you how we can help.

- Unless it's human trafficking. - I don't fuck with human trafficking.

I'm not... human trafficking.

Yeah, us, neither.

Okay.

I was just wondering if it's like,

a good way to anonymously get money online.

That's literally what it's made for.

Dumb ass.

Cool.

- I feel like that's it. - No, it's good, it's good. I like it.

Wait. Yeah, that really does look like I took it.

- Right? - Okay.

- It's good. - Yeah.

- Got it. - Do I look hot?

- Yeah. - Hot enough that you'd want to fuck me,

or like, cute?

Like... like me? Or like him, me?

Either.

Yeah.

- Yeah, sure. - Yeah?

Should I, like, show more? Like...

- I don't know. - What do you think?

I... I mean, it's... whatever. Whatever you, like to do.

I mean, what do you think, though?

...fuck.

It's my mom.

Hey, Mom. I'm just at Jules's house.

Well I have NA tonight. So, like nine-thirty-ish?

Okay. love you, too. Bye.

- NA? - Yeah.

Narcotics anonymous.

Wait. You've been clean for like, two weeks, right?

- Yeah. That's right. - Rue!

- What? - Fuck you, come here!

- What? - You've been... Come here! Oh, my God!

I'm so proud of you.

I've never met anyone in my entire life like Jules.

I'm gonna go get a glass of water really quick.

- Okay. - Whatever, bitch.

Oh, fuck me.

Fuck.

- I gotta go. But, love you. - Okay.

And I'll see you later.

- Bye. - Love you.

Love you, too.

And, at that moment, I decided to at least try and change.

'Cause I owe it to them.

I owe it to everyone I love and everyone that loves me.

And, maybe... that'll get easier.

I hope it will. Thank you.

Yo. Sixty days, no small feat.

Thanks.

- Very moving share. - Thank you.

Can I ask you something? How'd you survive that OD?

- What do you mean? - Somebody had to save your life, right?

- It was my sister. - Aw, man.

- Older or younger? - Younger.

- I have to get home, so... - Like 12, 13?

- I don't really understand what the... - Curiosity.

Yeah. She was 13.

That's some heavy shit. But, hey.

We've all done some bad shit in our lives, right?

Comes with the territory.

But, man, now you just got me thinking about...

what that does to a 13-year-old, a 13-year-old kid,

who finds her big sister overdosed.

What that moment must do to somebody...

how it affects the rest of their lives, you know,

how it affects their ability to trust.

Leaves it hard for them to get close to people, you know, relationships.

Makes it hard for them to fall in love.

Living with the fear that at any moment,

the rug can be ripped out from under them, and they lose everything.

Especially the people that they love.

You ever think about that? Yeah, probably fucked up for life.

But, hey, you're gonna have to make peace with that.

Just like you're gonna have to make peace with the fact

that you could be responsible for some shit like that,

and then get up in front of a whole group of people

who are struggling with the same issues,

and lie about being clean. You know what I'm saying?

- I don't know what you're talking about. - Listen, young blood.

You're playing pool with Minnesota Fats.

Who is Minnesota Fats?

The greatest motherfucking pool player that ever lived.

Okay.

I'm Ali.

Let me know when you want to stop trying to kill yourself

and eat some pancakes.

How was NA today?

It was good. I...

celebrated 60 days today.

- I'm really proud of you, Rue. - Thanks.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Whatcha doin'? - Watching My So-Called Life.

- Fuckin' Jordan Catalano. - I know, right?

Right.

Please promise me you will never fall for a Jordan Catalano.

But he's so cute.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's okay.

Okay.

Hey.

Hello.

Oh, shit. No!

Oh.

Okay.

Kit... KittenKween?

- Hi. - Hi. I'm really excited to meet you.

I've seen you dance in that video, like, a hundred times.

- Really? - Oh, yeah. I love your confidence.

Well, Jesus fucking Christ, you've gotta be one of the most

beautiful creatures I've ever seen.

I don't... I don't know about that, but...

No, I'm serious. I'm not even joshing you. I mean... Jesus.

But, I am gonna warn you.

I'm kind of... I'm kind of an odd duck.

I mean, I'm serious. I got some extreme kinks.

- Okay. - But, I'm real gentle.

- You wanna see something? - Sure.

- It's kind of embarrassing. - Why?

- Well, what are you laughing at? - Oh, no...

Have you ever seen a penis this small before?

Oh, my God. No, no, no. It's not small.

- Don't lie to me. - I... I'm not lying.

- I'm not lying. - Tell me that you'd never fuck me.

- Wait. What? - Tell me that you'd never fuck me.

That I'm a pathetic loser.

And I could never satisfy some beautiful princess like you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Come on, tell me you'd never fuck me. - I wouldn't. I really wouldn't.

- Tell me I'm a loser. - Are you crying?

Tell me I'm a pathetic loser with a baby dick.

- Yeah, keep making fun of me. - Wait.

- You want me to make fun of you? - Oh, yes, KittenKween.

Come on. It turns me on.

I mean, I mean, your dick is, like, really, really small.

- How small is it? - Like, medically small.

Like, really tiny, and I can barely see it.

I know. I'm pathetic.

And no woman would ever fuck you, because you're a big,

disgusting piece of shit!

I am! I am!

Keep laughing at me! Keep laughing at me!

- Tell me to stop touching it. - Please stop touching it.

You're gonna make me throw up. Stop it!

Okay, okay. Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, KittenKween. I'm sorry.

So you... so you'd do anything I tell you?

- KittenKween, I'd do anything you want. - Why?

Because you're big, and beautiful, and powerful, and...

I want you to take complete control of me.

I want you to tell me...

when I can come, and when I can't come.

And I want you to punish me when I cheat.

- Punish you, like, how? - I want you to fine me.

- Wait. Like, like, money? - Yeah.

I wanna be your cash pig.

But Kat didn't actually, like, believe him.

Until... three days later when she got a message.

I wanna look cute, but not eager.

Then don't wear that top.

This? I thought it looked good.

I don't really know if I like this body suit, though.

And within minutes, $100 in Bitcoin was transferred to her.

What are you looking at?

Nothing. Just this, article.

About what?

You know, like... the Holocaust.

Oh. Cool.

- Love that. - Like, perf.

- Lex? - It's cute.

I wish I had your collar bones.

I'm putting a lot of trust into you.

- Yeah, Cassie, don't get pregnant. - That's not funny, Kat.

But don't you dare get pregnant.

Relax, Mom. He has a roommate.

I want you to keep your phone on throughout the night.

You send me a photo when you get back to the dorm

- ...with a clock in it. - Like a ransom photo?

- I hate you. - Well, I love you.

I love you, too.

Have fun, baby girl.

No funny business, Christopher!

- Yeah, no, I promise. - Yeah, just be a gentleman.

And don't you dare get pregnant.

- That was amazing. - I know.

Oh, my God. Fuck.

Hey, my mom called. I gotta go.

- Okay, I love you. Bye. - Love you, too.

- Out of my way, dick. - Okay, bitch.

This is, like, the craziest party I've ever been to.

I just want to make it through initiation.

You will.

Kill the fucking music!

Kill the fucking music!

All right, listen up, bitches! We got some fresh meat up in here.

I want all your pledgie faggots up against the wall!

- Don't lose, bitch! - Fuck you, bitch! Drink this shit!

- Woo! - Last one to finish gets stripped naked.

Go, McKay!

Woo!

Yeah! Yeah! Woo!

Woo!

Yo! Strip that faggot!

- Is it still alive? - Of course it's still fucking alive.

Fuck that, dude.

I don't know, dude.

Follow my lead.

Oh!

McKay brought the baddest bitch in the fucking game, yo!

This is so depressing.

- What's up? - What's up, Kat?

- Hey. - What's up?

Mm... received. All right.

Twenty, 40, 60, 80, 100.

Twenty, 40, and 60.

- One-sixty? - Twenty percent banking fee.

Fine.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Do you think people are 100 percent straight? 100 percent gay?

No, 'cause obviously there's, like, bi people, asexual, pan...

- Sexuality is, like, a spectrum. - Yeah. Totally.

- Why? - I don't know.

Do you think straight guys ever, like, watch gay porn?

Not if they're a hundred percent straight.

You just said it's a spectrum.

Yeah, on either side of the spectrum is gay and straight.

I fucking hate this.

- Is this about Nate? - No. He's, like, super straight.

- Is it about your dad? - No.

- It would explain why they're fighting. - It's not about any guy that I know.

All I know is that most guys are, like, weird, gross, and fucking pathetic.

Okay, look, if I tell you something,

you swear on your fucking life you won't say a word?

Yeah.

Hey.

You're home.

Thanks for the weekend.

- I love you. - I love you more.

Sorry, we're about to close.

Oh, just... I want to try a few things on.

Okay. Be quick.

Hey.

- Can I ask your opinion on something? - Yeah, sure.

How does this look?

Yo! You hear me? I said we're about to close.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

- I just wanted to buy these. - Cool.

You live around here?

- No, no. - No, word.

- This place sucks. - Yeah.

- I'll ring you up. - Okay.

Ooh. You look different.

What?

You look different.

I changed.

Rue!

- Hey. - Guess what?

What?

Okay, well, actually, first,

you are the best soft-core pornographer in the game.

So thank you.

And second... Tyler wants to meet.

- Like, for real? - Yeah.

- In, like, person? - Yeah.

That's cool. Where?

- The lake. - When?

On Saturday, after the carnival.

- Like at... at night? - Of course. Yeah.

That doesn't... seem, like, a little weird?

No. Sis, you watch way too much Dateline.

Relax, like, he's our age. It's fine.

Jules, you don't think that maybe...

you should like meet him at the carnival, like, in public?

I mean, we can't, like...

He's a jock. His mom is super conservative.

It's, like, a tough situation. It doesn't work.

Honestly, Jules, I don't really care about the situation,

because it just doesn't seem safe.

I've been in situations that are way less safe. Like...

Okay, but that's not really the point, right?

The point is, it's dangerous.

Rue, this is the difference between, like, you and me. Like...

I don't always get the privilege of meeting people

in front of a fucking audience. People here know I'm trans...

That doesn't mean that you have to meet this dude

at a fucking deserted lake in the middle of nowhere.

Okay? It seems insane.

Out of everyone in the world, I wanted to tell you.

'Cause I thought you'd be happy.

But fuck it.

- Hey, Rue. - Hey, is Jules here?

- Yeah, she's upstairs. - Can I...

- Of course. Come on. - Okay.

Jules, Rue's here!

Hey.

I don't want to fight with you.

I don't want to fight with you, either.

You have to understand that I just want you to be safe, okay?

I just, I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

And, you know, you just can't be mad at me

for wanting you to be okay.

You can say I'm being anxious, you know?

Just...

It hurts my heart too much. And...

- It just, I... - I'm not mad at you.

You're the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time,

and I just don't want...

anything bad to happen, so please don't be mad at me.

- Just don't be mad. - I'm sorry.

I get it.

I love you.

I really do.

I love you, too.

- You're a mess, you know that? - So are you.

I hate everyone else in the world but you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I should go.

Fuck!

- Who is it? - Rue: It's me. Open the door.

Fuck.

Not today, Rue. I'm sorry.

- Come on, man. Don't be a dick. - Nah, I'm serious.

You can't come in.

Look, man... All I need is just, like, a few OCs.

Sorry, I can't help you.

Fez, I've had a really fucked up day, all right?

It's been a really fucked up day.

So I need you to open the door for me, okay?

I'm not gonna help you kill yourself, Rue.

I'm sorry, but, you can't be coming over here no more.

- Just go home. - Don't... Fez!

Don't close the... Fuck!

Fez, open the fucking door, please?

I'm begging you just to open the door.

Fez! You're full of shit, man.

You make your living off of selling drugs to teenagers.

Now all of a sudden, you want to have a fucking moral high ground?

You're a fucking dropout drug dealer. You know that?

You're a fucking drug dealer with seven functioning fucking brain cells.

Open the door!

Fuck you! Fuck you, Fez. Okay?

Are you doing this because you care about me?

If you gave a shit about me, you wouldn't have sold me

the fucking drugs in the first place!

But you did! You fucking did!

So open the goddamned door!

Open the door!

- I can't do it, Rue. I'm sorry. - Open the door!

Open the door!

Open the door.

You did this to me!

You fucking... you did this to me, Fez.

You fucking ruined my life!

The least you could do is open the goddamned door and fix it!

I'm fucking serious. I'm so fucking serious.

If you don't open this door right now, I swear to God,

I will hate you, till the day I fucking die.

I'm sorry.

You fucking did this to me!

Open the fucking door.

Open the door, Fez! Come on, man!

That is so fucked up!

Hey, is this Ali?

This is Rue. I was just calling to see if maybe you

still wanted to get pancakes or something?

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