Original subtitles

-ON EACH STROKE, YOU PLANT YOUR FEET

AND YOU LOCK YOUR KNEES OUT, YOU GOT IT?

-GOT IT.

I REALLY WANT TO GET THIS DOWN

BEFORE MY FIRST STUNT INSTRUCTION.

UGH, THEN MAYBE I CAN SHOW OFF A LITTLE.

-SO YOU FOUND AN INSTRUCTOR, HUH?

STROKE.

-YEAH, HE'S COMING TOMORROW ON MY DAY OFF.

STROKE.

-THAT'S GREAT.

YOU'RE A NATURAL ATHLETE,

YOU'LL PICK IT UP IN NO TIME.

STROKE!

NOW, WHEN WE'RE ON OUR WAY IN

AND WE CATCH A WAVE,

YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO SHIP YOUR OARS LIKE THIS.

-OKAY, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO COME UP WITH ME TO THE STERN.

OUR WEIGHT'S GOING TO ACT LIKE A RUDDER

AND IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO KEEP US FROM BROACHING.

-OKAY.

WAIT, WHAT'S BROACHING?

-IT'S WHEN WE TURN SIDEWAYS IN THE WAVE.

-A BAD THING.

-YEAH. VERY BAD AND VERY WET.

YOU READY TO TRY?

-YEAH, LET'S DO IT.

-OKAY.

STROKE, STROKE,

STROKE, STROKE,

STROKE, THAT'S IT.

SO, WHO DO YOU LIKE AT BAYWATCH?

-I LIKE EVERYBODY.

-I MEAN THE GUYS.

-OH.

CODY IS SUCH A CUTIE.

STROKE.

I THINK J.D.'S HOT.

-TOO YOUNG FOR ME.

-YOUNG? THEY'RE OLDER THAN YOU ARE!

-YEAH, BUT I LIKE OLDER MEN.

YOU KNOW, MORE MATURE.

-LIKE, HOW OLD? 30?

-HM, OLDER.

-WOW. THAT'S LIKE DATING YOUR DAD!

COME ON, I NEED A NAME!

-I DON'T KISS AND TELL.

[LAUGHING]

-ALL RIGHT, WE'RE HEADING INTO THE DROP ZONE.

YOU REMEMBER WHAT TO DO?

-UH...

-SHIP YOUR OARS.

-RIGHT.

-COME INTO THE STERN.

-OH MY GOD.

-OH! BROACHING!

-FIRST CLASS!

♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND IN THE DARKNESS ♪

♪ AFRAID TO STEP INTO THE LIGHT ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪

♪ WITH THE EDGE OF SURRENDERS IN SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU WORRY

♪ IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT

♪ CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ OH, DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS

♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE

-CODY: AMF 295,

THIS IS SCARAB ONE.

WE GOT JUMPERS OFF THE REDONDO PIER.

-J.D.: GO AROUND TO THE OTHER SIDE.

-CODY: GET READY, YOU'RE GOING IN!

I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

-J.D.: HOLD ON.

ALL RIGHT, HANG ON.

GRAB THE BOAT.

HERE YOU GO.

I'M GOING BACK DOWN.

-CODY: WE GOT YOU!

-JESSIE: APRIL, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

-APRIL: SURE, JESSIE, WHAT'S UP?

-YOU EVER WISH YOU WEREN'T SO...

SO SQUEAKY CLEAN?

-SQUEAKY CLEAN?

-YEAH, YOU KNOW.

YOU'RE, LIKE, THAT PERFECT, LIKE, ALL-AMERICAN,

GIRL NEXT DOOR, LITTLE MISS APPLE PIE...

-UGH, WELL YOU ARE TOO.

-[CHUCKLING] YEAH.

BUT, I'VE JUST BEEN LOOKING AND...

YOU KNOW THE GUYS THEY GO MORE FOR THAT, LIKE, HOT GIRL.

-HOT?

-YEAH, THE DANGEROUS KIND.

YOU KNOW, WITH THAT COME HITHER STARE

AND THAT, "YOU AREN'T READY FOR ME YET" LOOK?

HOT!

-YEAH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD BE THAT TYPE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW!

-YEAH, BUT I THINK IT'D BE FUN, LIKE, TO TRY.

DON'T YOU? -YEAH.

-JUST ONCE.

♪ RED LIPS AND A DEADLY KISS

♪ I NEED A TASTE ALL OF YOUR PASSION

♪ YOU GOT THE BLOOD PUMPING ♪ THROUGH MY VEINS

♪ YOU GOT A DANGEROUS ATTRACTION

♪ AIN'T NO RULES IN THE GAME OF LOVE ♪

♪ AND GIRL YOU KNOW YOU PLAY IT WELL

♪ ONE LOOK AT YOUR BODY BABE

♪ AND NOW I'M UNDERNEATH YOUR SPELL

♪ YOU'RE DRIVING ME WILD ♪ GIRL SET ME FREE

♪ SKIN TIGHT DRESS GOT ME ON KNEES

♪ MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY ♪ YEAH I'M BEGGING PLEASE

♪ BABY HAVE MERCY, MERCY ON ME

♪ YOUR HIPS ON MY FINGER TIPS

♪ I WANNA MAKE THAT FANTASY HAPPEN

♪ LETHAL CURVES LET THE FIRE BURN

♪ I WANNA GET SOME OF THAT ACTION

♪ AIN'T NO RULES IN THE GAME OF LOVE ♪

♪ AND GIRL YOU KNOW YOU PLAY IT WELL

♪ ONE LOOK AT YOUR BODY BABE

♪ AND NOW I'M UNDERNEATH YOUR SPELL

♪ YOU'RE DRIVING ME WILD ♪ GIRL SET ME FREE

♪ SKIN TIGHT DRESS GOT ME ON KNEES

♪ MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY ♪ YEAH I'M BEGGING PLEASE

♪ BABY HAVE MERCY, MERCY ON ME

♪ YOU'RE DRIVING ME WILD ♪ GIRL SET ME FREE

♪ SKIN TIGHT DRESS GOT ME ON KNEES

♪ MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY ♪ YEAH I'M BEGGING PLEASE

♪ BABY HAVE MERCY ♪ MERCY ON ME

♪ YOU'RE DRIVING ME WILD ♪ GIRL SET ME FREE

♪ SKIN TIGHT DRESS GOT ME ON KNEES

♪ MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY ♪ YEAH I'M BEGGING PLEASE

♪ BABY HAVE MERCY ♪ ♪ MERCY ON ME

-SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT-- -[LAUGHING]

-HEY GUYS, I THINK YOU DESERVE THE MEDAL OF VALOR.

-ARE YOU KIDDING?

NAH, IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

-TWO COPS AND A LITTLE GIRL?

IT'S A DAMN BIG DEAL, I'LL NOMINATE YOU.

-YOU GUYS ARE HEROES.

-AW, COME ON, WE WERE JUST DOING OUR JOBS.

YOU GUYS ALL WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING.

-WELL THEN I'D WANT A MEDAL OF VALOR.

-[LAUGHING]

-MORNING EVERYBODY.

TOWER ASSIGNMENTS:

CODY, 12,

J.D., TOWER 14,

APRIL, YOU'RE AT 8,

CRAIG, BUDDY, YOU'RE AT ZUMA,

AND NEWMIE, YOU'RE ON PATROL.

HAVE A GOOD ONE, HUH!?

-I ALMOST FORGOT, NEELY SENT THIS TO ME.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO SEE IT.

-THANKS.

PICTURE WAS ASHLEY, THE MEMORY WAS HOBIE

AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A DAD.

YOU KNOW, LOOKING BACK, YOU REALIZE

THOSE REALLY WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS,

AND YOU WISH YOU COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN.

-NEWMIE: HEY, MITCH!

-OH, HEY. HEY NEWMIE.

-WHERE WERE YOU JUST NOW?

-MEMORY LANE, MEMORY LANE.

I JUST SUDDENLY REMEMBERED HOW MUCH

-I MISSED HAVING ASHLEY AROUND THE HOUSE.

AND NOW WITH HOBIE GONE, IT'S UH,

PRETTY QUIET THERE THESE DAYS.

-WELL, SOUNDS LIKE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME.

IT HAPPENS. GET A PET.

-I MIGHT.

WHERE'D YOU GET YOURS?

-WHAT?

-ON YOUR HEAD.

-OH, IT'S A HAIRPIECE. -IT'S A CHIPMUNK.

-HEY, WELL I'M BETTING THE GIRLS WILL THINK IT'S HOT.

-GIRL CHIPMUNKS, MAYBE, BUT UH, NEWMIE,

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING THAT THING?

-CARRIE.

SHE'S BEEN COMING DOWN TO THE BEACH FOR A COUPLE WEEKS NOW.

I JUST WANT HER TO NOTICE ME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IS IT ME?

-IT'S YOU, WITH A CHIPMUNK ON YOUR HEAD.

-WHATEVER WORKS.

-NEWMIE, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET THAT GIRL

WITH THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD.

-WHY DON'T WE DISCUSS YOUR STRING

OF ROMANTIC SUCCESSES, SHALL WE?

-MM, UGH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HEY LISTEN, DO ME A FAVOR WILL YA?

TAKE THESE TO HEADQUARTERS?

I'M GONNA SWIM THE TOWERS AND, UH, STAY LOW.

HUNTING SEASON BEGINS TODAY.

MY OWN PERSONAL FORM OF THERAPY

HAS ALWAYS BEEN SWIMMING THE TOWERS.

YOU GET INTO A RHYTHM THAT INVARIABLY CLEARS THE MIND.

YOU COME OUT REFRESHED AND READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD.

HEY, JESS!

-HEY, MITCH!

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-THIS IS MY STUNT INSTRUCTOR.

-NO, THAT IS ED SYMES.

HE'S A MEDICAL SUPPLY SALESMAN.

-AND A QUALIFIED STUNT INSTRUCTOR.

HOW YOU DOING, BIG GUY?

-QUALIFIED?

WHERE'D YOU FIND HIM?

-IN THE YELLOW PAGES.

-YEAH, STUNTS R US.

WELL, ACTUALLY, STUNTS R ME.

IT'S KIND OF A ONE MAN OPERATION, HUH.

BUT I'M THE BEST IN HOLLYWOOD.

-YEAH, DID YOU SEE THAT NEW BRUCE WILLIS FILM?

THE ONE WHERE HE FALLS OUT OF THE SKYSCRAPER?

THAT'S NOT REALLY BRUCE, THAT'S ED!

-WELL, ACTUALLY I WAS THE GUY THAT THAT GUY FELL ON.

BUT WE GOT THE SHOT IN THREE TAKES.

HEY, YOU OUT TO SEE ME FALL DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER.

-DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.

YOU DIDN'T PAY HIM ANY MONEY, DID YA?

-YEAH, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

HE'S GONNA TEACH ME ALL THE TRICK OF THE TRADE.

-NO, HE'S ALREADY TRICKED YOU.

-NO, HE WAS JUST TEACHING ME HOW TO SELL THE PUNCH.

COME ON.

-YEAH, COME ON BIG GUY, HIT ME.

-YEAH. -DON'T TEMPT ME.

-NO, MAN, YOU'LL COME WITHIN

AN EIGHTH OF AN INCH OF MY FACE.

SEE, IT'S ALL BASED ON PHYSICS, KINETICS, AND TORQUE.

OKAY, COME ON, COME ON, HIT ME.

-NO!

-ALL RIGHT JESSIE, WELL YOU COME ON AND HIT ME.

HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO,

I WANT YOU TO TAKE A PUNCH ACROSS ME LIKE THIS

AND I'LL SNAP MY HEAD BACK.

IT'LL LOOK EXACTLY LIKE IT DOES ON THE SCREEN, OKAY?

SO, READY? HIT ME.

-AHH, GOD!

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M SO SORRY!

-I FORGOT TO FACTOR IN THE PREVAILING WINDS.

-OH, ARE YOU OKAY?

-NO, HE IS AN IDIOT.

-ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY? -WOW.

-OH, I'M SO SORRY.

-I SEE MONKEYS.

-MITCH: SEEING ED SYMES AGAIN

-PUT ME RIGHT BACK IN THE WATER.

BUT, BY THE TIME I SWAM TO APRIL'S TOWER

I WAS BACK TO THINKING POSITIVE THOUGHTS.

HEY. -HEY! SWIMMING THE TOWERS?

-YEAH, JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF THE BLUES.

-WHAT'S WRONG? -OH, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG, QUIET HOUSE.

I'M LONESOME.

-GET A CAT.

-WHAT'S THAT? -WHAT?

-THAT SMILE. SOMETHING HAPPEN?

-YEAH, I THINK I'M IN LOVE.

-REALLY, WITH WHOM?

-WELL I DON'T WANT TO SAY UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE,

-BUT WE HAVE A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.

-COME ON, COME ON, YOU CAN TELL ME.

I'M YOUR BOSS.

-APRIL: FIRST WE HAD DINNER ON THE JETTY.

HE SET UP A TABLE, THERE WERE CANDLES.

IT WAS SO ROMANTIC.

AFTERWARDS, WE DECIDED TO GO FOR A SWIM IN THE MOONLIGHT.

-MITCH: AH, THE MOONLIGHT SWIM.

-APRIL: IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING NIGHT

I'D EVER SPENT WITH ANYBODY.

♪ OUR SHADOWS DANCED IN RHYTHM

♪ FROM THE STAR

♪ A SILHOUETTE SEDUCTION

♪ YOU HAVE MY HEART

♪ ALL I WANT...

♪ IS YOU

♪ ALL I WANT...

♪ IS YOU

♪ ALL I WANT...

♪ IS YOU

♪ ALL I WANT...

♪ IS YOU

-MITCH: SO WHO WAS IT?

-APRIL: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.

AT LEAST UNTIL I'M SURE THAT IT'S REAL.

-WELL, SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY PRETTY SURE.

-WELL THERE'S A PROBLEM, HE'S OLDER.

-HM, HOW MUCH OLDER?

-OLDER. YOUR AGE.

-UGH. ANTIQUE, HUH?

-NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT, IT'S JUST...

WELL I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE AND I'M AFRAID.

-SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE FALLING IN LOVE, KIDDO.

THAT'S EXACTLY HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL.

-NO, IT'S...

I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT, MITCH.

-WELL IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE RISK,

YOU WON'T HAVE IT TO LOSE.

-YEAH, I GUESS SO. THANKS.

-ON THE HOUSE.

UH, GOT TO GO.

IT ALWAYS LIFTS YOUR SPIRITS

TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO'S IN LOVE.

SHE WOULDN'T REVEAL HER SECRET,

BUT I HAD A CLUE AS TO WHO IT WAS.

-HEY!

-HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

-AH, JUST A LITTLE SOUL-SEARCHING.

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE POKER GAME LAST NIGHT?

-I WAS BUSY. -REALLY?

I HOPE SHE WAS WORTH IT,

I REALLY MISSED TAKING YOUR MONEY.

-OH, MAYBE YOU'LL GET IT NEXT WEEK.

AND MAYBE SHE WAS WORTH IT.

-WHAT'S HER NAME?

-EH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU KNOW IT'S PROBABLY NOT GONNA WORK OUT

AND TRUTH IS IT SCARES ME HALF TO DEATH.

-EVEN A SEASONED VETERAN LIKE CRAIG POMEROY.

-AFTER MY DIVORCE FROM GINA,

WELL HEARTS GET BROKEN.

I DON'T THINK I EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN.

-AFTER GAYLE AND I GOT DIVORCED,

THE THOUGHT OF GETTING INVOLVED

WITH ANOTHER WOMAN WAS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT GOES AWAY, BUDDY.

SO GO FOR IT, GIVE IT A TRY.

-NAH, IT'S TOO SOON.

TOO RISKY, I MEAN WHAT IF?

-WHAT IF, WHAT IF?

THERE'S ALWAYS A IF.

IT'S CALLED LIFE.

I MEAN FOR GOD'S SAKES,

THERE'S AN "IF" RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORD LIFE.

-THAT'S INCREDIBLY CORNY AND I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE.

-NOT THAT PART ABOUT "IF" IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORD LIFE,

'CAUSE I-- I JUST MADE THAT UP.

-WELL THEN THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

-THANK YOU, I THOUGHT SO.

-YOU'RE WELCOME.

[ENGINE REVVING]

-LOOK AT THAT BOAT.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

-COME ON, LET'S GO!

LOOK LIKE THE THROTTLE'S JAMMED.

COME ON, LET'S GO!

-APRIL: IT'S OKAY, HANG IN THERE.

-MITCH: GET AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. AH!

ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.

YOU ALL RIGHT? -YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. PUT THIS AROUND YOU, STAY WARM.

-APRIL: HEY, CAN I BUM A RIDE?

-NEXT TIME, DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR LEASH, HUH?

THIS KILLS THE ENGINE, ALL RIGHT?

-OKAY.

-CRAIG: HEY LAST NIGHT?

-I LOVED IT. -ME, TOO.

-WELL, WELL, WELL.

IF I WERE YOU TWO, I'D DEFINITELY TAKE THE RISK.

WELL WHAT A SURPRISE.

HEY, IF IT WORKS FOR THEM IT WORKS FOR ME.

AS LONG AS IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

HEY!

-HEY, MITCH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?

I BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR HOURS.

-AH, JUST WORKING SOME THINGS OUT.

LISTEN, YOU NEED TO FILL OUT AN INCIDENT REPORT

ON THAT RESCUE YOU MADE.

-YEAH, SURE, NO BIG DEAL.

-YOU WANT TO FILL ME IN?

-SURE. WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE WERE LOOKING AT

UNTIL WE GOT DOWN THERE.

CODY KNEW THE LITTLE GIRLS WERE TOP PRIORITY,

SO HE GOT ME TO SWIM 'EM UP,

YOU KNOW, ABOUT A SECOND BEFORE THEY WERE GONERS.

THEY WERE SAFE SO I WENT BACK DOWN TO HELP CODY OUT.

CODY WAS ON TOP OF THINGS.

THOSE UNIFORMS THE COPS HAD ON WERE WATERLOGGED.

I MEAN, THEY WERE DROWNING.

I STARTED HELPING HIM YANK THEIR CLOTHES OFF.

I JUST FOLLOWED HIS LEAD.

THEN WE GOT 'EM UP, SIMPLE REALLY.

-DIDN'T SOUND SIMPLE TO ME.

SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIFIC RESCUE.

-YEAH? -YEAH.

-WELL, IT WAS MOSTLY CODY.

I JUST DID WHAT I GET PAID TO DO, SAVE LIVES.

-DO ME A FAVOR, CHECK WITH ME AFTER YOUR SHIFT

AND, UH, SIGN THE REPORT, HUH?

-OKAY.

LIKE I SAID, IT WAS MOSTLY CODY.

-YEAH.

-PIECE OF CAKE FOR ME.

-SEE YA.

-YOU KNOW, SWEETHEART,

THE HIGH FALL IS ONE OF THE MOVIES' CLASSIC STUNTS.

-ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

-OH, I'M A PRO, LAMB CHOP.

LISTEN, A STUNT MAN LEAVES NOTHING TO CHANCE.

THIS IS AN ART FORM AND I'M AN ARTIST.

YOU STICK BY MY SIDE AND YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING.

-OKAY.

-SEE THAT MATTRESS IS DOWN THERE TO BREAK YOUR FALL,

BUT THERE'S A FEW THINGS YOU GOT TO COMPUTE:

YOUR HEIGHT, YOUR WEIGHT,

THE ANGLE OF DESCENT, THE GRAVITY CONFIGURATION.

ARE YOU TAKING NOTES, BY THE WAY?

-NO, BUT I'M WITH YOU.

-AND, OF COURSE, WE CAN'T FORGET

THE PREVAILING WINDS THIS TIME.

-UH, YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO THIS.

-COME ON, THIS IS BASIC STUNTS 101.

LOOK, I TELL YOU WHAT.

LET'S SAY YOU'RE THE CAMERA, OKAY?

AND WE'RE AT THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

AND TOM CRUISE IS-- IS BEING CHASED BY SOME BAD GUY,

AND HE'S GOT A KNIFE.

AND TOM CRUISE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

AND THE MUSIC COMES UP,

DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, FOR NO REASON,

HE JUST JUMPS UP LIKE THIS ON THE RAILING, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?

CUT. AND WEENIE, WIMPY ACTOR TOM CRUISE STEPS DOWN

AND STUNT MAN EXTRAORDINAIRE, ED SYMES,

STEPS IN TO DOUBLE HIM.

OKAY, NOW GO AHEAD AND SHOOT ME.

-UM, YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T THINK

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

-OH, IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

COME ON NOW, SHOOT ME.

COME ON, JUST SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME!

-BANG. -OOH!

-AH! -ED: UH-OH.

-OH MY GOSH, ARE YOU OKAY?

HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

-OH, YEAH. ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY.

-ED, DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY?

-OKAY. -BUT YOU'RE FIRED.

-WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU FIRE ME?

-TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

-WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

WE-- WE COULD DISCUSS THIS.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, I JUST...

HEY, OH, OH.

I THINK I'LL LIE DOWN FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE.

-MITCH: MY NEXT STOP WAS CODY'S TOWER

SO I COULD GET HIS VERSION OF THE PIER RESCUE.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT J.D.'S VERSION

THAT DIDN'T SEEM QUITE RIGHT.

-CODY: HEY! DOING THE TOWER SWIM, HUH?

-I TALKED TO J.D.

A PRETTY HAIRY PIER RESCUE, HUH?

-NAH, PIECE OF CAKE.

-REALLY?

-YEAH. -THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

-I JUST DID WHAT HE TOLD ME TO DO.

-WELL HE TOLD ME HE FOLLOWED YOUR LEAD

AND THAT YOU TOOK CHARGE.

-NO. HE KNEW WHAT TO DO RIGHT AWAY.

FROM THE GET-GO, J.D. SAW THAT THE COPS WERE IN TROUBLE.

THEIR UNIFORMS WERE TOTALLY WATERLOGGED, MAN.

THEY PROBABLY WEIGHED 300 POUNDS IN THE WATER.

J.D. KNEW THAT THE LITTLE GIRLS CAME FIRST.

HE GRABBED THEM AND THEN SIGNALED

FOR ME TO YANK THE CLOTHES OFF THE COPS.

-SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT J.D.

ASSUMED COMMAND OF THE RESCUE, NOT YOU?

-YEAH. LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,

BUT IT WAS J.D. WHO DID ALL THE RIGHT STUFF.

-OKAY. DO ME A FAVOR.

FILL OUT AN INCIDENT REPORT, EH?

-YOU GOT IT.

-ALL RIGHT, SEE YA. -GO GET 'EM.

-WHY'D YOU TELL MITCH I WAS SOME KIND OF BIG-TIME HERO?

-WHY'D YOU TELL HIM I WAS?

-'CAUSE YOU WERE THE MAN, J.D..

-HEY, WE BOTH JUST DID WHAT WE HAD TO DO.

IT'S NO BIGGIE.

-NO, BUT MAYBE IT WAS, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, BOTH CRAIG AND APRIL

WANT TO NOMINATE US FOR THE MEDAL OF VALOR,

GETTING US ALL PUMPED UP?

MAYBE WE EARNED IT.

-NAH, IT'S ALL PART OF THE JOB.

IT WAS NOTHING SPECIAL.

-AH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MEDALS OF VALOR BELONG TO THE REAL PROS,

THE MITCHES, THE NEWMIES.

-WE'RE NOT HALF THE LIFEGUARDS THOSE GUYS ARE.

-SOMEDAY, MAYBE.

-YEAH, SOMEDAY.

-WELL, AT LEAST WE CAN DREAM, YOU KNOW?

-YUP. AND SOMETIMES DREAMS COME TRUE.

GOT TO GO. HEY, YOU WERE GOOD DOWN THERE.

-YOU, TOO. I'LL SEE YA.

-MITCH: BY THIS TIME, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE,

I'M GETTING PRETTY TIRED.

BUT STILL, THIS CODY-J.D. THING DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

WHY WERE THEY MAKING EACH OTHER OUT TO BE THE HERO?

THEN I REALIZED I WASN'T ALONE OUT THERE.

WHAT THE HECK WAS A DOG DOING THAT FAR OFF FROM SHORE?

WELL, A RESCUE IS A RESCUE, AND I AM A LIFEGUARD.

SO, I CAME TO HIS AID.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY BUDDY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING SO FAR OUT HERE, HUH?

[DOG WHINING] HUH?

YOU'RE REALLY FAR OFF SHORE, ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU JUST TAKE IT EASY BECAUSE I AM AN LA COUNTY LIFEGUARD,

AND I'M GOING TO SAVE YOU, OKAY?

LET'S GO.

HEY, THAT A BOY.

LET'S GO.

YEAH, THAT A BOY.

YEAH, THAT A BOY.

AND JUST LIKE THAT I HAD A NEW BEST FRIEND.

YEAH, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, PAL.

LET'S GET YOU DRIED OFF HERE,

YOU'LL BE AS GOOD AS NEW.

3HEY, HOW'S YOUR STUNT INSTRUCTOR?

-UGH, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN I TOLD YOU SO, DO YOU?

-NOPE, BUT I TOLD YOU SO.

-HEY, WHO YOU GOT HERE?

-I DON'T KNOW, HE DOESN'T HAVE A COLLAR.

I FOUND HIM TREADING WATER JUST OFFSHORE.

-DID HE JUST SWIM OUT THERE?

-MAYBE. MAYBE HE FELL OFF A BOAT OR...

MAYBE SOME MORON THREW HIM OVERBOARD.

ANYWAY HE'S NAMELESS AND HOMELESS.

-AW. [DOG WHIMPERING]

-UH, DO ME A FAVOR, WOULD YOU,

AND WATCH HIM FOR A COUPLE MINUTES?

-YEAH, SURE. HAPPY TO.

BABY, I'M GOING TO LOVE ON YOU, OKAY?

-WHAT?

-YOU LOOK LIKE BOB'S BIG BOY.

WHAT HAPPENED, CHIPMUNK DIE?

-I WALKED PAST HER THREE TIMES ON PURPOSE.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE ME.

-THIS, YOU NOTICE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE YOURSELF?

-I HAVE BEEN.

NOT SO MUCH AS A SMILE.

-NEWMIE, YOU'RE TRYING TO BE SOMEONE THAT YOU'RE NOT.

-YEAH? WELL JUST WHO AM I ANYWAY, HUH?

I'M JUST SOME LIFEGUARD GETTING OLD AND BALD ON THE BEACH.

I DON'T KNOW, I'M THINKING ABOUT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.

GETTING A REAL JOB, BECOMING SOMEBODY IMPORTANT.

-I FELT THE SAME WAY, EXCEPT FOR THE BALD PART.

I WONDERED IF I WAS SOMEONE WHO REALLY MATTERED.

SOMEONE WHO DID SOMETHING WITH HIS LIFE.

OR DID I WANNA WAKE UP ONE DAY, AN OLD MAN

IN RED SHORTS, ASKING MYSELF THIS QUESTION:

MITCH BUCHANNON, ARE YOU AN IMPORTANT PERSON?

DID YOU MAKE A CONTRIBUTION?

BIG QUESTION.

-WHAT WAS THE ANSWER?

-HELL YES.

I WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO NEED ME.

I SAVE LIVES.

I COULD TAKE ANOTHER JOB AND MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS,

BUT NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN GIVE YOU THE FEELING YOU GET

WHEN YOU SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU KNOW THAT FEELING, NEWMIE.

-I DO.

HM, AND I LIKE IT.

I'M A LIFEGUARD.

-YOU'RE A LIFEGUARD!

-I'M NEWMIE.

--YOU'RE NEWMIE!

THAT THING'S CRAWLING AWAY.

-OH, GOT IT.

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

♪ I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN

♪ YEAH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

♪ I'M GONNA BREAK YOU DOWN

♪ I'VE GOT IT COMIN'

♪ I'M ON MY GAME

♪ I'VE GOT YOU RUNNIN'

♪ I'M ON MY GAME

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ BRING IT ON

♪ BRING IT ON

-YEAH!

-YEAH!

-CODY: ALL RIGHT HERE HE COMES, ACT COOL.

HEY MAN! HOW WAS THE TOWER SWIM?

-GREAT.

SO YOU GUYS FIGURED OUT THE PIER RESCUE SCENARIO, YET?

-BOTH: YEAH. HE'S THE HERO.

-YEAH, WE FIGURED THAT WE BOTH DID IT.

-GOOD.

-UH, MITCH. -YEAH?

-UH, IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD RESCUE.

-YEAH, IT WAS.

-UH, MITCH? -WHAT?

4-UH, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE BOTH CRAIG AND APRIL

THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO BE NOMINATED

FOR THE MEDAL OF VALOR.

-THEY DID?

-YEAH, UH, BUT WE TOLD THEM NO.

-GOOD CALL. -BUT, UH...

WE CHANGED OUR MINDS.

-YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO BE NOMINATED FOR THE MEDAL OF VALOR.

BUT WE NEED A NOMINATOR.

-AND YOU WANT ME TO NOMINATE YOU GUYS?

-BOTH: YEAH.

-HAVE YOU THOUGHT THIS THROUGH?

-YEAH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

-IF IT GOT OUT THAT THOSE TWO COPS

HAD TO BE RESCUED IN THEIR UNDERWEAR,

THEY'D BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE POLICE FORCE.

-YOU THINK?

-PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

YOU CAN'T EMBARRASS THEM

BY MAKING THIS RESCUE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.

BESIDES THAT, MIGHT AS WELL PAINT A BULLSEYE ON YOUR BACK

FOR EVERY TRAFFIC COP IN SANTA MONICA.

-YOU'RE RIGHT.

-YEAH, WE KNOW WHAT WE DID.

IT'S GOOD ENOUGH. -YEAH.

-GOOD. I'M GOING TO CLIMB THE STAIRS NOW.

IS THAT OKAY?

-BOTH: SURE. -THANK YOU.

-COME HERE.

OH, LOOK, THERE'S YOUR DADDY!

-HEY, HOW'S IT GOING PARTNER?

-NO WAY. HE'S BACK.

OH MY GOSH, HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THIS GUY?

-I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I FIGURE IT OUT.

LET'S GO. MAYBE WE CAN DOUBLE-TEAM HIM.

-OKAY.

-ED? -WHAT?

-ED? -HEY, BIG GUY!

YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR MY NEXT EXTRAVAGANZA.

-WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

-HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT A STUNT MAN'S MOTTO IS?

-NO.

-WHY GO THROUGH A DOOR WHEN YOU CAN GO THROUGH A WINDOW?

THATS WHAT STUNT MEN ALWAYS SAY,

AND, WELL I AM A STUNT MAN.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE OLD SET HERE, TOO?

IT'S THE OLD WESTERN SALOON THING, I BUILT IT MYSELF.

-YEAH, YEAH, IT'S REALLY NICE.

BUT LOOK, JESSIE WANTS HER MONEY BACK.

-YEAH.

-UH, WELL, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.

I GOT IT ALL INVESTED IN THE SET AND MY WARDROBE.

BUT I AM GONNA DEMONSTRATE

HOW TO GO THROUGH A GLASS WINDOW,

JUST LIKE THEY DO IN THE MOVIES.

COURSE THERE IS A LITTLE SECRET TO IT,

I BET YOU DON'T KNOW THAT, LITTLE DARLIN'.

-YEAH, THE GLASS IS MADE OUT OF CANDY?

-UH, YEAH, WELL SO MUCH FOR SECRETS.

HEY LOOK, THIS BOTTLE IS MADE OUT OF CANDY AS WELL.

THE TEMPERATURE HAS TO BE EXACTLY RIGHT WHEN YOU MAKE IT.

HOT, COOL, IT'S VERY CRITICAL.

I MADE THIS ONE HERE.

NOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO

IS JUST HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT.

-NO, I DON'T WANT TO.

-IT'S JUST CANDY GLASS, SO IT WON'T HURT ANYTHING.

JUST CRACK THE THING OVER MY HEAD.

1GO AHEAD, HIT ME.

-GO AHEAD.

-HIT ME ON THE HEAD!

I'M ALL RIGHT, I'M ALL RIGHT.

JUST COOKED THAT ONE A LITTLE TOO LONG.

AH, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU THE PROPER WAY NOW

TO DIVE THROUGH A PLATE GLASS WINDOW.

-I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THIS.

-CLASSIC, HOLLYWOOD MOVIE STUNT.

GET READY, HERE I COME.

-ED? ED?

YOU OKAY?

-UH, YEAH. I'M ALL RIGHT.

-I'M OKAY. YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.

-MITCH: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-HEY! -NOT BAD!

-HEY, SWEETIE, WITH A LITTLE PRACTICE YOU CAN BE OKAY!

-YAY!

-NEWS REPORTER: AND THIS AFTERNOON,

IN A CEREMONY IN SANTA MONICA,

MOTOR OFFICER MILFORD AND MOTOR OFFICER LINDSEY

WERE REWARDED BY THE MAYOR.

-J.D.: THOSE TWO COPS? WE SAVED THEIR BUTTS!

-WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

-YOU TELL US. -YEAH.

-THE MOTOR OFFICES SAVED NOT ONLY TWO YOUNG GIRLS

FROM DROWNING OFF THE REDONDO PIER,

BUT ALSO SAVED THE LIVES OF TWO BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS

WHO FACE CERTAIN DEATH BY DROWNING AS WELL.

FOR THEIR COURAGE AND HEROIC ACTION,

THE TWO MEN WERE AWARDED THE ESTEEMED

MEDAL OF VALOR.

REPORTING FROM SANTA MONICA--

-BOY, AM I LATE, I GOT TO GO.

-HEY LITTLE LADY, HOW ABOUT ME TEACHING YOU

HOW TO DO SOME ROPING?

-ED, GET OFF THE TOWER, NOW!

-EVERY GOOD STUNT PERSON'S GOTTA KNOW HOW TO RIDE AND ROPE!

-I MEAN IT, ED, GET DOWN!

-RUN YOU LITTLE VARMINT, RUN, RUN!

UH-OH.

-OH! -OH, OH, OH.

-OH! -I'M OKAY!

I'M FINE!

I'M JUST FINE!

I'M ALL RIGHT!

-MITCH: GO, ED!

-ED: I'M JUST FINE!

I'M FINE!

WELL I'VE GIVEN EVERYBODY ADVICE ALL DAY LONG TODAY, PAL.

AND TONIGHT, EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMEONE.

AND I GOT YOU.

WELL, NAMELESS, IT'S YOU AND ME PAL.

YOU DON'T SNORE, DO YOU?

[END THEME SONG PLAYING]