Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

Everyone dreams at least once in their lives

with their eyes open.

It's that moment when you finally catch your breath

when all the bullshit fades away

and you can see from here to the end of every road you have

or ever could walk down.

You look at yourself and all you are.

Look at what you've become and you wonder...

what could've been

had I just done it differently.

What if I'd said no?

What if I hadn't accepted no for an answer?

What if I'd gone?

What if I'd stayed?

What if?

If only.

But no.

It's just a fleeting moment.

For reality has a tendency...

I love you.

...of rushing back.

Fucker, fuck, fuck, fuck!

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Hello.

Uncle Medor.

Hey Edmund.

I haven't heard from you since what?

Christmas.

Yeah.

I guess it has been a long time, hasn't it?

So listen.

I er, I need a bit of help.

Okay, what's happened?

Well, um, I broke up with...

J... Je... Jessica broke up with me.

Who is Jessica?

My girlfriend.

Oh, sorry.

Hey Frenchie.

Come to lunch at my house.

Medor.

Yes, Mister Appleby.

Medor, Medor, Medor.

- How you doing? - Fine.

- How long ago did my dad hire you? 30 years ago? - Yeah.

Thirty years and you still sound like a French Helen Keller. Why is that?

You stupid?

Come on, you're stupid, huh?

Say it, I'm stupid.

I'm stupid, I'm stupid.

I think that's what it is, you're stupid, right?

'Cause anybody using the company line to talk

to their friends during company time would be stupid.

Not my friend, my nephew, he's in trouble, you know.

- Oh, is this is your nephew? He's in trouble? - Yes.

Oy, oy, oy. He is sick, he's hurt, he needs your help?

Well guess what, I don't care.

Medor, you are fired.

No, Mr Appleby, please. I need the job.

What I will say to my wife?

Tell her you're not going to make it home for lunch today.

Thank you Mr Appleby, thank you.

I'm leaving.

Are you kidding, the boss said...

You cover for me, please man.

I have a wife to please.

Edmund, I'm sorry I'm late, I have to work.

I'm really sorry, man.

About fucking time you got here, shit I've been waiting for you for ages.

I'm sorry, you okay? Listen, give me two minutes.

I have to say hello to Gwen and I'm coming back okay?

Medor?

Leave.

Whoa, er.

What?

Want a ride?

What kind of doctor are you?

Come on, I'm trying to help you man.

You hurt me.

Oh shut up, Jesus, you're such a pussy.

Why she did it, I know why she did this to me, I know.

Why?

Because she's a bitch.

She's a, she's a...

You know, Edmund I don't know why she did this to me.

Maybe... you did it to you.

- That's deep, Mr. Freud. - Oh don't make fun...

Big dummy, you don't know what you're talking about.

So please, shut the fuck up, moron.

We fought.

On what?

- A panda. - A what?

It's a... I mean, it's like this stuffed panda head

thing that I made when I was a kid.

It means a lot to me, and she got all fucking angry

at me about it, you know.

I get confused, why you call me this morning?

You know, I haven't talked to you

since like fucking Christmas.

I don't know, I was just, we needed to talk

and I felt like maybe I should talk to you,

and you know, I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm fucking great.

- I'm just what, no it's... - Are you okay?

- I'm, I'm fine, I'm okay. I'm just... - Pull over, pull over.

- Fine. I'm... - Stop here, stop here.

Tell me.

It doesn't matter anymore anyway,

it's, it's really nothing.

Did you, did you talk to your parents, call them?

Yeah, but, but what the fuck am I going to say to them?

Oh, my girlfriend, so sad.

What kind of a fucking problem is that compared to Jade

you know, I mean, I feel stupid just fucking talking about it.

How can I feel like this when that's going on you know?

That's why I thought you know, I could talk to you.

What harm would that do?

What harm?

I fucking fucked your shit up too.

Everything I seem to touch is turning to shit,

and, uh... I'm... I'm...

useless.

I'm a fucking loser apparently.

It's okay.

No it's not okay, but we make it okay, okay?

- Okay? - Okay.

Don't be a pussy, don't be a pussy, do it, yes!

Ah, ow, fuck, you just...

What the fuck is your shoe made out of, knives man?

Ah, what you talking about, I barely touched you.

Why you have broken glass in your pocket?

Come over here, come over.

Come here, come here, come here.

So, I was at your house, 'cause you took

for fucking ever to get there, and I started

to look at my reflection right, but I mean

really looking at it, you know,

like really look at it.

I started to think about how things could have been different.

Different how?

Who I could have been, how things could have been.

Maybe if I had the guts to change them.

But, I don't even, this is...

I picked up, I don't even know why I did this,

this is dumb, oh yeah.

This is not stupid, let me look, let me look come on.

Let me, let me look.

But what does it matter?

'Cause I'm here now.

But you're, you're not even going to let yourself

dream a little?

Let's drink instead.

Man, you fucked that guy up today.

Yeah.

I mean it was like, it was like pow.

That must have hurt.

Normally punch hurt.

I wouldn't know, I've never been punched before.

Never?

Never.

Punch me.

What?

I'm sorry, you hurt?

I wasn't ready.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Why did you do that to me?

You asked me.

Edmund, you know how to make a difference

between an old man and a young man?

Look the young man he

How did you do that?

And the old man, the old man.

Oh shit, I peed on my... Shit.

I'm getting a drink, you want something?

No, no later.

So anyways, the bartender goes, goes to his manager

and he says, "Hey boss, there's a horse,

and he's asked me for a beer, what do I do?"

Which one you going to have them, the red one.

Only a man with love in his heart can make food this good.

So he goes to the horse and he says, "Hey horse,

why the, it's going to be $16."

- Edmund? - What?

- Sit down. - Why?

Sit down, I need you to clear the kitchen, come on.

What are you doing?

I will make you feel better.

Oh, it's smelling so bad.

You know what, I'm impressed, how do you survive, with all this shit.

I can do something with an onion.

French wine.

Put your hands... Don't burn it, don't burn it.

If you don't cry, the onion is no good.

Bon appetite.

Holy shit!

Medor, that's amazing.

I wish I was the man I wanted to be.

I always dreamed to be a chef, I wanted to be a chef.

Yeah man, a chef.

Well that's, that's great, that's fucking awesome.

You should do it.

I'm too old.

You're not too old I just saw you take down

a guy who's half your age.

I've no money, I've no money, I'm broke.

And if you had the money, would you do it?

I'd try.

Hm? Hm. Hm?

There's your fucking money.

Tada!

- You stole it? - What? No.

- You're a drug dealer? - No, no, no, I'm not a drug dealer.

It's just my tuition money from college,

I dropped out of college.

You dropped out of college?

Okay, lots of people drop out of college, yeah.

Fuck, if you were doing art history, then you'd drop out of college too.

I'm offering you $40,000, this is the question

you asked me, yes I dropped out of college.

Why is in cash, only drug dealer have cash, you are a drug dealer.

No, I'm not a drug dealer, listen,

I took it from the bank and then...

Shut the fuck up and let me explain.

I took it from the bank, all right?

I took it from the bank and I withdrew it in cash,

and I put it in a bag. You know why I put it in a bag?

So my parents wouldn't see that there's a bunch

of fucking money that's going into a bank account

and not going into fucking college.

Give it back.

Fucking no, I'm not going to give it back.

Well why not?

You and I, are going to open a restaurant.

What would your parents will say huh?

And Gwen, what she will say huh?

Fuck Gwen.

Fuck Gwen?

F... F... Fuck Gwen.

You said, fuck Gwen?

- Fuck Gwen. - Fuck Gwen.

Fuck Gwen, fuck Gwen, fuck Gwen.

Say it loud, fuck Gwen.

- Fuck Gwen. - Fuck Gwen.

Surprise!

I have a surprise for you.

Quieter.

I have a surprise for you.

Why are you still yelling?

Ta-da!

Ta-da?

- I leased the restaurant. - What?

- I leased the restaurant. - What?

Last night, you gave me all your cash

to be a partner with me.

What, what?

Invest in what?

In a restaurant.

You leased this restaurant?

Yes.

This one right here?

Yes.

That one?

Yes.

With my money?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You gave me $45,000,

I emptied my joint account with Gwen,

I put a healthy $100,000 into the business, you know.

Why you make this face?

- Yo are not... - Medor, I'm going to kill you.

Yesterday you were 100% for it.

- I was drunk. - So?

Why would you listen to me?

You told me to trust you.

How... how long is the lease, how long, how long is it?

- Three? - Three.

Three months, three months?

More like years.

Years, what years?

Three years.

It's cheaper if you take longer,

like a subscription you know.

You paid in cash, didn't you?

- You paid in cash, didn't you? You did, you did. - I'm sorry.

You're sorry, you're sorry.

Dude, this is my fucking life, man, you fucking idiot.

Jackpot, he said sorry.

What are you doing in there?

Well I live here, what the fuck are you doing here?

We bought the restaurant.

Yeah I heard that part, I was just,

I was just being sassy.

I'm Medor.

- I'm Alex, pleased to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Alex.

So do we like own you now, like you come

with the restaurant, or er?

Hey everything okay over here?

Feel like I'm wandered onto the set of Mean Streets

with all that yelling, , hi.

- Hi. - Hi, I'm Medor.

Medor, how's it going? I'm Mortimer.

- How are you? - Good.

So, I heard you guys down here, I just thought I'd be a good neighbor, be a good friend,

come on over, introduce myself.

See what you guys have got going on over here.

I'm a restaurant owner.

A restaurant owner? Get out of town.

I'm a restaurant owner.

- NO? - What?

- I own Adam's right down the street. - You're kidding.

It's great, you know actually it's funny

I'm er getting a health inspection right now.

God it's just horrible, it's this little pustule

of bureaucratic pond scum, he's been in there

for the last three hours, just wouldn't...

Mr Jones, speak of the devil and he shall appear right, look at this guy.

Let me introduce you to my new friends.

Medor, this is Edmund.

- How you doing? - Hi.

I got a great idea, you want to open a restaurant right?

- No, no. - Right.

You're going to need an inspection, right?

- Right. - No.

What do you say we let this guy go in there,

take a look around, and just run like a fine tooth comb

through this thing and you'll know what's wrong. Sound a good idea?

I'll tell you something too, this guy's not easy to get,

he's really hard to get, we're talking like

hard like spotting a gram of coke in a pound of snow,

you know what I'm talking about?

Anyway, hey he's here, you're here,

what do you say we get this guy in here, huh?

- Yes. - Yeah? Pronto, right? pronto.

- Lead the way. - Lead the way he says, lead the way.

Follow me.

Let's get in there, let's get in there.

Hold on, big guy.

Fuck these guys up.

Oh, fuck, fuck, it's worse on the inside, how is that possible?

Yeah, it just need a new coat of paint that's it.

You'll have to fix that.

You'll have to fix this.

And that too.

Let me do it.

You'll have to fix that too.

Now you have two definite electrical problems,

small structural weakness, possible asbestos contamination,

major blockage on the water system,

and major pest infestation.

- You'll have to fix all that, okay? - Okay, I will.

- I hope I haven't discouraged you. - No, no.

- I'm just trying to be helpful. - Thank you very much, thank you.

These guys are going to be busier than a cat

trying to bury a turd in a frozen pond, huh?

Medor, let me talk to you.

- Medor, you ever heard the story of the Ethiopian astronaut? - No.

Of course you haven't, because you need resources

to build great things, and the only resources they have

are crippling depression and starving children.

Where am I going with this?

I guess what I'm trying to say is for a property like this

don't overextend yourself?

I mean what do you have, one, two million dollars

to sink into this thing?

No? Shit, man I was low balling you.

- Is this your first restaurant? - Yeah.

Oh, cool I've opened 14. Let me tell you something,

this place is going to be a dream.

Dreams are great if we're beating off,

but now you're in real life. Little scary, isn't it?

Ah, what a day, huh? Well, I'm going to leave you with that.

Jiltz, come on over here, buddy, I know a little

Punjab cafe you're going to love, toodle-oo.

Thanks.

What do you think?

I think we are sharp?

Really?

Do you guys have health insurance?

Yes, yes.

Good, good.

Um, how long would that take to kick in?

About three month.

I'm not interested.

Hello there, my name is Alex.

We know who you are Alex.

I live in the dumpster beside the restaurant

and I want to apply for a job with an apprenticeship

with Chef Medor.

Do you even have any experience, I mean...

I have it, I have been an apprentice

in a restaurant before.

Okay, surprise, which one?

This one.

Wait, so you stayed after they shut it down?

Well, they went bankrupt, they didn't pay me,

I didn't exactly have anywhere to go.

Mmm... Depression, I get it.

Yeah, depression.

Hi, I'm Liz.

You're hired.

We didn't ask her anything.

You're hired, it's good, it's perfect,

it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great. Thank you.

Hi, I'm Patty, I am going to be the best waiter

you've ever hired, I mean, I can't even believe

you're considering me for this position.

I like her.

So look, I am going to need to be able to get off work

if I have an audition to go to, or need to go to the gym

or need a rest day.

I typically don't like to work Thursday, Friday,

Saturday or Wednesday, but I would be willing

to work from 2-4 on Wednesday if you need it.

If I can just give you a list of the days

I won't be available, I think you'll find that more helpful.

Can I get an advance? That would be great.

You look like great guys, I'm a good guy.

You guys like to party?

Maybe it's too much, Edmund.

Medor, if I am stuck doing this shit with you,

I want to be having fun doing the shit.

What are these contracts for?

Don't worry about it, just a waiver or some shit.

Okay, it's a race to decide who are the best waiters.

The three first crossing the finish line

will get the job.

It's like the course of Garçon de Café in Paris.

Nobody knows about it?

I do.

I mean, I don't know about that, that's just weird.

Quiet, Alex.

Okay, and please everybody just remember

it is imperative that you go to the barrel,

and circle around it, you have to do that, okay?

The rule is, if you drop the water or the bread

off your tray, you are disqualified. Any questions?

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm thrilled.

Okay, on your mark, set, go.

Alex, it needs to be filled with water.

Asshole.

You crazy bastard.

Ha, I thought you were good with women.

Hey guys, I'm sorry, it was just a test.

Eat a bag of dicks.

You're hired.

Woo hoo!

That's colder.

Come on, what? Come on.

Oh, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.

What the fuck are you doing, dude? I was on the...

I talk to you, I'm worried about you.

Medor, I don't want to talk about this right now.

I used to say the same shit.

You want to be me in 40 years?

Can I, can I just get back to this.

No. I don't. There's your answer, okay?

No, you have to talk to me.

Why are you so angry?

I have... nothing.

I have nothing in my life.

And I'm waiting, I'm waiting for something.

It's about now that something interesting should happen.

But...

But nothing does.

What about the restaurant?

What about the restaurant?

It's an adventure.

By who's fucking definition?

It's problem after problem, and it's miserable.

What is an adventure, except problem after problems?

And the hero surmounting the problem after problem

after problem, and the bigger the problem,

the bigger the hero.

So who's the hero?

The hero is the one who act like a hero.

Not Alex anymore.

Roar!

Why are you hitting yourself?

My hero.

Don't forget to put all this in garbage.

Oh my God, Medor.

What?

Is it bad?

It's miserable, and thrilling and excessive

and exhausting. It's like being in love.

Wow Alex, that was poetic.

Seriously, Medor, how do you make the food this good?

He said it, love, love.

Come on, come on, man. Yes, you come.

You know.

There are many ways to harm a man.

Who the sweet fuck are you?

Friend, walk with me, come on.

I got a business proposition for you, my friend.

I wish, no it's like a dream, you know.

It can be a dream come true but it just...

It just, you know that Sheldon Crassus write a review on us,

it will be a miracle, it certifies success.

Who is that? Who is that?

Sheldon Crassus, he writes reviews for The Times.

- He's a locomotive. - A what?

You know, this kind of guy, they start a train

and everybody jump on. You know they are these people

who are surfing on the waves of the snobbism.

- Where do you come up with this shit? - You know...

I mean he's writing on us, he say we're good,

everybody believe him.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I, I get that.

That's the dream, that's the dream.

The best sunsets are the ones with clouds.

Maybe it's 'cause you need a little dark

to make the light stand out.

Okay, Socrates, no more drink.

We're ready, you ready?

I'm ready, you ready?

All right.

All right, let's do it, let's do it come on.

All right so we've got blinds, we have lights,

we got tables, we got chairs, we got all this shit,

what do you think?

- I like it. - Okay, well, let's move on, okay more tables,

more chairs, Paris, New York.

All right, all this stuff, what do you think?

You don't care, you just want your money.

I like it.

Pots, pans, ladles, question mark.

Hey wait a minute, is that oven.

Okay, you don't care, I don't care, we don't care.

What do you think?

I don't like it.

I love it, I love it.

- I like it. - Good, thank you very much.

Congratulations, Medor, on passing all

the inspections tests.

Thank you guys I couldn't do it without you, thank you.

Looking good in here, so that's Medor right there

- actually, and I kind of thought... - Medor.

Hey you, get out of my restaurant, now, get out, get out, get out now!

Medor, I came in peace, Edmund,

Just listen to me for a minute.

I'm sorry,

I just wanted to apologize.

I feel like a real ass.

I deserve everything that's happened to me.

I know it's going to be hard for you to forgive me, but I'm just kind of hoping

maybe some day we can be friends again.

So I've brought this as an offer of peace.

Just brought you a little gift, take it.

Take it.

Come on, it's from me to you.

And oh, by the way you've been served.

Say cheese, you mother fucker.

Are those divorce papers.

Motherfucker.

I am so sorry, Medor, I was just trying to be friendly.

He came over and he said he wanted to give you a present,

maybe take a picture, I thought, come on in.

It's fine.

Wow.

- It's fine. - Wow.

I tell you, aint that a swift kick in the Rod Johnson, huh?

Well, looks great in here.

I'm going to let myself out.

Wha... what are you doing?

I'm eating it?

Why?

- To swallow it. - Hm.

Why?

To make it disappear.

- And then what? - Then I will poop it, and I will throw it on her.

-They make copies, you know.

All right look, you just sleep here and feel better.

What that?

It's nothing.

Sheldon Crassus.

This man, that's our target.

He's the head of the snob train, the locomotive.

He says where to go and people follow.

Yeah, but he's not even a chef, he's just a critic.

What does he know?

It doesn't matter, people just believe it,

- that's snobbism. - What's snobbism?

It's bullshit, but it's bullshit the world runs on.

Now according to Sheldon Crassus' Twitter account

he'll be attending a very exclusive art party.

Our mission is to crash that party

and outsnob every other person there.

He'll have no choice but to pay attention to us,

and then we'll convince him to come to our restaurant opening.

Yeah, but how are we going to get in?

Okay it says this is an invite only party.

Just lift it, just lift it come on.

- Hm. - Sheldon, what do you think of it?

I'm seeing vagina, I'm seeing way too many breasts,

I'm seeing blood at the knees, I'm feeling the shoes

that are red.

Oh, Mortimer.

So good to see you, you look fabulous,

you've never looked better.

- Fuck, they know each other. - Uh..

You know, I feel like I need something different.

Everything in this town is so boring,

I want something new, fit, buff, worked out.

Oh, it's so beautiful,

this piece in particular

is so interesting.

I feel like it's inside me.

Is that a penis?

It is, if you cannot handle it, then just look away.

I can't look away, there's a giant fucking cock

on the wall, it's on the wall.

I actually know exactly what this painting means.

Oh, he knows.

I actually talked to Devindra about this very painting

which is entitled a study in gray,

and I asked him what it was, this study in gray,

- what's it about? - He said this to you?

Oh, he told me, well, he actually asked me a question.

- Ah. - Mm.

- Why? - Why what?

No, no, just why?

Why live life, why erect, why try?

Why put all of your life force into something

if you're just going to sink back down into flaccidity. Hm?

- Yes. - We're born erected, we laugh, we love,

we take a spin around this Earth,

but in the end we go limp, and our entire legacy

it fades to nothing.

So why try at all?

But isn't it up to the audience to interpret the art as they see fit?

- What the hell are you doing here? - Excuse me.

I said, isn't it the audiences job to figure out

the piece for themselves, to piece it together

instead of the artist forcing his view on us

in a most fascist way?

Why, what's the point? The artist already told us

what he thinks, so why would you even...

The question isn't why, it's why not?

Why not try?

No, no, no, no.

Why not keep going until the very last second,

until we've turned ourselves to dust.

You're going to sit here, and you're going to tell me

that this penis represents how we're all going to die?

Well, that's impossible because this penis is immortal.

This penis is going to outlive all of us,

immortalized by the very fact that it is art.

No, it shows us that there is no virtue in asking why

and dying,

but there is in asking why not

and trying.

Sheldon Crassus.

And you are?

Um, Edmund, charmed.

- I need my hand back. - I'm sorry yes.

Gwen?

Ex-husband.

Not yet.

There is nothing to salvage, Medor.

There would if you let me.

Just sign.

You think you're blameless?

I gave you the best years of my life,

what did you give me?

I gave you everything, and you gave up on me, why?

Because you were boring.

We had nothing in our lives, absolutely nothing.

We were dying, dying together.

It wasn't my fault.

- Oh! - You gave up on your dreams, and you made me give up on mine.

You had a choice, and so did I.

I needed change, Medor, I needed passion in my life.

I wasn't enough?

You never wanted to change anything,

you never wanted to take any risks.

I didn't want to lose you.

And did that work?

Please, honey just sign.

No.

Do this for me.

That's why I do it,

that's why I did everything.

Medor, dude, you're not going to fucking believe it.

Look, man you got to give me a call back

because you n... need...

Hey.

Was that Gwen?

I don't want to do the restaurant anymore.

Why not?

I did this for Gwen to come back,

and I'll show her how great I really am.

But she doesn't want.

- She doesn't care. - No, no don't, hey, man, don't worry, huh?

Listen I've got good news, I got Sheldon Crassus,

he's coming, he's coming to our restaurant,

he's going to give us a review.

So, will it be enough to convince her that I'm worth it?

What are you saying, you saying this was for nothing?

What if it was, what if it is?

I'm alone, Edmund.

You're not alone, you choose to be.

No.

You know what, if you just reached out a little,

then you'd see that I'm right here.

You can't replace Gwen.

Nobody can, nobody can replace your idea of Gwen,

because your idea of Gwen is bigger

then the fucking universe.

How do you fill a hole like that up with little things

like... like people.

Are you crying?

No, no it's an allergy, open it, really well.

That's it, beautiful no?

American Bistro.

Yeah, we'll be opening soon.

Yeah.

Fuck yes, Medor, Medor!

How do I look?

Like yourself.

I'm scared, Edmund.

Well, that's okay.

What if I fail?

Then we fail.

But I'll still be here, and you'll still be here,

I can promise you that.

- We are in business. - Clear the door, 30 seconds, God be with you!

God damn it, man.

Oh shit, dude!

Edmund.

Edmund.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

This, this is fucked up.

Whoa there, Edmund, not very professional.

Neither are you, you fucking hack.

Oh my God, I refuse to serve you fucking people,

I refuse, you're sick, you're sick, do you know that?

You are sick.

Did I hear the word sick?

Sheldon, hi, hey, you came.

Yes, you're a keen boy now no one here's

going to become sick from the food are we?

No, I was just telling these...

Guests.

Fine, fine guests that people will be sick,

like green faced, like green with envy

from the delicious...

Use your words.

...food and drink choices they will be enjoying tonight.

All right, the chair.

- I need to sit. - Here?

Yes, pull the chair out, and I'm going to sit in it,

and then you push me in.

Sitting, pushing, and we're done.

Your name is Dick Fitzwell?

Oh yeah, table for ten at seven...

Sorry, sorry, excuse me, hi, bye.

- Hey. - Fuck!

You let my aunt in here, if my uncle sees this he's going to flip his shit.

Edmund, the reservation was under Mortimer,

and besides I don't even know those people.

And I can't just turn people away because I don't like the look of them,

- I want to keep this job for a while. - I'm sorry,

I... I'm just so wrapped up in it all I forgot that you...

It's all right, it's first night jitters.

Thanks.

I'll be right back.

Poophole. What?

What the fuck is he doing?

- Oh, oh. - Oh.

Why is that song on there?

Fuck he's not going to stop is he?

No he's putting them in, yeah.

That's an interesting choice.

Oh, it'll grow on you, quite the opening.

Does anybody feel like the staff is a bit on edge?

On edge? Hmm.

What are you doing?

Pick it up, pick it up.

What makes you say that?

Well, you can't blame them, I think it's really brave

of Med... the owner to take a risk like this.

I think it shows a lot of effort and drive.

Effort and drive, it's the result that counts you know,

not effort and drive.

Really getting tired of waiting for this waiter.

- What would you guys like to drink? - I would like...

You know what I think we'll have the red wine, Fugue.

No, actually, I think it's pronounced fuck you.

It's pronounced Fugue, that's why you're a waiter.

And you, sir?

Oh, I'll have what you're having.

Really?

Really.

And you, strawberry lemonade.

We don't have strawberry lemonade.

Really, we have it in my restaurant.

Well, this isn't your restaurant, sir.

Well, you have lemonade, you have strawberry tart

on your menu, figure it out.

Make it work.

Not a problem.

- What took you so long? - Sorry, personable, I was just getting

- personal with clients. - Champagne.

Take the golden bottle on the top shelf.

Fugue, only an idiot can drink this.

My suggestion, just my suggestion.

Strawberry lemonade, you make it,

too much on my plate.

Restaurateur, it's happening.

Yeah, yeah.

Medor!

No retreat, son.

Hey, by the way, did Sheldon Crassus arrive yet?

No, no, not yet.

But you just served him.

Here?

- Fuck! - I threw up too.

Hey waiter, can we get some service, please.

He'll be here.

Strawberry lemonade for the gentleman.

Ah, what took you so long?

What's wrong, Haboubi, didn't have the stamina

to last any longer?

Hey Sheldon, so nice to see you.

Listen, let me make something clear,

before you get too smart tonight I want you to remember,

you and your uncle, you're my bitches.

What did you just say to me?

I'm just sitting here, having a nice cozy time

with my girlfriend, and you,

you've got to do what I say because I've got this,

and you've got a fucking towel on your arm.

Do you want to go on, man? Is that what this is?

Let's fucking do it.

Let's fucking go then, you piece of shit.

You want to make a scene, right now in front of everybody?

You want to be rude, a little disrespectful?

There could be people watching, refuse me service,

kick me out of here, I dare you.

No, I didn't think so, so my suggestion is,

take our order, and make it snappy, bitch.

Go on.

Boys, , never change.

- Medor, what's up with you, man? - Nothing.

Oh yeah, the chicken's pink, the filet is black,

and this salad had a fucking egg shell in it.

This isn't like you, what's up dude, what's wrong?

I have no love.

I have a hole in my heart,

I have no love anymore.

Hey, hey, Medor, that's not true.

Look at Liz and Patty, and Alex, and look at me,

look at what we're willing to do for you.

I love you man, you're my... you're my best friend.

I love you.

I love you too, you know, you're like a son to me.

I love you too, yeah.

Good um, don't forget to put it in the food then.

Yeah.

Okay guys, listen to me, motherfuckers.

I'm going to cook you, and they're going to eat you,

so don't fuck me up, okay?

Look at what I'm going to do to you.

I kill you, motherfucker.

Oh, we'll give you the dress, beautiful dress,

and you will see beauties, you will be so beautiful.

Look at this, ,

oh my God, they'll love it.

Go, go, go, go, go, stay, stay.

Mmm... Beautiful and tasty.

So pretty, you look so hot.

Look at this! Ah, you'll see.

Bye, bye.

Ready.

Okay, go into your shell now.

Yeah, get out of my plates, you motherfucker, don't stay here.

Hmm, delicious.

Great.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Mmm... Isn't it delicious?

It's disgusting.

Seemed like you were enjoying it.

Oh, I'm feeling something.

It's love.

Ahem, oh, waiter!

Oh God, my head is killing me.

Shut up, Annie, shut up.

Medor, what am I supposed to do,

we're all out of painkillers and your customers are pricks.

I told you not to insult my customer.

Mortimer didn't fucking eat it because Mortimer

staged it to look like there's a fucking hair in it.

What the fuck is this?

I just told you it's hair.

I know what it is.

Don't ask me.

And of course Sheldon saw it.

I can't do it, I can't do it. I can't do it...

You can't do it? You're supposed to be fucking cooking

right now, what are you doing out here?

No, I prefer to stay in bed, I prefer to,

I prefer to never wake up.

Don't say that, man, come on, let's just get you back in the kitchen.

You know, Edmund, she will never come back to me.

Oh, and that's why you did this?

For her?

Or did you do it for you?

Well?

I'll try, but we have to do something first.

Get up, I need to talk to you.

Are you not tired to be suppressed, squashed,

forced to be small by these motherfuckers?

By these people who want you under them?

Who are ready to chop off you head

as soon as you peak over the ground?

Because I am, I am tired to do always what

they want me to do, and I don't want to do anymore

what they want, I want to do what I want to do.

I want to do now,

is to destroy this motherfucking

jukebox, are you with me?

Fuck yeah, uncle.

Free the trees.

Free the trees, let's go.

Trees, trees are bad.

- Bad? - Bad trees, let's fuck them.

Let's fuck those trees.

Everyone dreams at least once in their lives,

with their eyes open.

It's that moment when you finally catch your breath,

when all the bullshit fades away,

and you can see from here to the end of every road

you have, or ever could walk down.

You look at yourself, and all you are...

...look at what you've become,

and you wonder,

what could have been had I just done it differently?

What if I'd said no? What if I hadn't accepted

no for an answer? What if I'd gone?

What if I'd stayed?

What if,

if only,

but no.

Just a fleeting moment,

for reality has a tendency

of rushing back.

Have you lost your mind?

Yeah!

You didn't like it, fuck off, doors open.

This is my restaurant, this is my heart,

It's my Carte de visite.

Chez Medor.

This is not a restaurant.

Listen, I'm going to my kitchen,

and I'm going to do the best dish that you ever had

in your life and you're going to love it.

Hey, Gwen.

Hey Medor, that jukebox...

Um, well...

We hope that you've enjoyed our um,

experimental performance art.

American Bistro.

Hi guys, how are we doing?

French onion soup, a really good choice okay, and you?

Dessert?

All right, we will see you then.

Something else?

- Excuse me? - Oh sorry, I'm so sorry I was miles away.

That's the last of them, everybody.

- You like it? - Love it, what is this,

your secret stuff?

I can't fix you, Edmund.

If you dream too much.

Huh what?

You wake up to find that you spent

your entire life... sleeping.

I er, I've got something to do.

Hey guys, its er, it's me.

Hey mom, dad, Jane, I er,

I just, I got a lot to tell you.

Just give me a call back, and I love you guys.

A lot.

Okay, bye.

Have a good night all right, thank you very much.

Ah, ooh... Look what I got.

Oh, you don't expect to find anything on us.

Well, I sure do, oh yeah.

Oh, yeah. Look, look at this, look at that.

Only a true artist breaks the status quo and...

We don't need it.

Welcome to Owning the Morning, we've got

Milton Bugner, our resident restaurateur here.

Now you did a secret restaurant critique, am I correct?

Oh, it's so good to see you out here.

Anyway, you went to a new restaurant this time.

I did, last night I visited the American Bistro.

Who do you love, what do you love doing,

and are you doing it?

But there's something about the American Bistro

that makes it much more then some of it's very,

very few parts,

in a word as one of my fellow diners said, love.

This is fucking weird, man.

- Now what? - Now...

Anything.

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