Original subtitles

- May I be of service to you? - Can I please speak to Mr. Gentry?

Uh, why don't you try phoning?

I've been trying all day, but no one answers.

Why don't you try again tomorrow?

- Try what? - Phoning.

But I'm here now.

Thought you said you only wanted to speak to him.

Can I please see Mr. Gentry?

Young lady, you've now had the pleasure of both speaking to and seeing Mr. Gentry.

- Now... - You're Mr. Gentry?

- I thought you were... - His butler.

Why, yes.

One as efficient as myself does not employ people to do tasks

which he himself does superlatively.

Gee.

Well, are you going to invite me in?

Do you have something to give me?

Twenty-five thousand dollars.

The concept seems worthy of consideration.

Well, this is some place you've got here.

May I have the pleasure of knowing my welcomed intruder's name,

and when I get the money?

My name is Nancy Weston and I'm a reporter for The Globe.

Get out.

Just a minute, Mr. Gentry.

The Globe wants to hire you to investigate that weird murder

of the strip-teaser last night.

Well, then, they can send me a formal letter like anyone else.

But we would have,

but you have a reputation for giving lengthy consideration before you take a case

and we wanted to know your answer today.

You mentioned $25,000...

The Globe will give you $25,000 just to investigate the murder

- and if you discover the murderer... - If I discover the murderer?

If you had any doubts at all, why bother me?

At any rate, discover the murderer and you get $25,000 more.

And your newspaper gets exclusive rights to the mystifying story

of how the remarkable Abraham Gentry cracks another case.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Tell me. Tell me.

Anyone could have made me this offer, the Editor, the Chairman of the Board,

why such a young and attractive novice reporter?

Perhaps, your employers felt that $50,000 wasn't enough.

Perhaps, but the money's the only offer you're getting from me.

I'm happy to know that.

Because if anything were offered besides the money, I would have had to turn it down.

- If you're done being clever... - Never.

If I have your word that you'll take this case,

I'm authorized to give you this check for $5000

- for immediate expenses... - You have my word and now you may leave.

My pleasure.

Stay out of trees.

Hello.

Hello!

- Hey, mister. - What in heaven's name can I do for you?

- What can you do for me? - Well?

I just wanted to know if you wanted something to drink.

Oh, as a matter of fact, I am a bit dry.

- I'll have some Cordon Bleu. - Huh?

Cordon... Never mind.

I'll have a bottle of tonic water.

- In a clean glass. - Ooh.

Would you please sit and talk to me for a while?

Sure, babe.

Sorry it took so long, but we borrowed your glass as a bottle opener.

Want me to take the first drink to make sure it's OK?

But I didn't boil my lips.

- You should have. - Eh, what gives?

As a matter of fact I would appreciate it if you'd let me take it off the tray.

Sure, be my guest.

Now, don't drink it too fast.

Please tell me everything you can about Suzie Creampuff.

Are you a cop?

- Hardly. - But what do you wanna know for?

She came from the Midwest. She wanted to be an actress or a model.

She was doing this for food till she got a part in something.

She worked here for about two months.

She really thought she was something else, but she was just a big tease.

Oh, stop drooling. I have a few more questions.

- Shoot. - Did she have any boyfriends?

Nah, like I said, she was a big tease.

She'd get all the horny guys really turned on and let them think they were taking her home.

But when the club closed, she'd tell them all to flake off.

Was there anyone she teased in particular?

- Yeah. - Go on.

There was this one guy, uh, a student.

Real wormy looking kid.

His mouth started hanging open as soon as he saw her.

He didn't really pay any attention to any of us other girls.

He would have done anything just to get it on with her.

She'd always tease him and shut him down.

Once, she told him she'd spent a night with him.

Do whatever he wanted for $200.

So he came in the next night

with a check made out to cash for $200

and gave it to her after her last show.

- And then? - She looked at it, laughed and tore it up.

- Hmm. - Poor kid looked like he was gonna cry.

Do you know what happened to that check?

One of the bartenders saw the whole thing. He felt sorry for the kid

so he gave him a Harvey Wallbanger for it.

Do you know where that check is?

I think it's in the cash box, I'll check.

Hmm.

"Joseph Carter."

"1138 Winona..."

Is there anything else you can tell me?

Nah.

Hey, mister. If you're ever around here again...

I'll try not to be.

I just thought I'd give you a little tip.

A girl like you ought to know what to do with this.

Well, what are you doing here?

Just making sure the paper's getting its money's worth.

- Fasten your seat belt. - Where are we going?

1138 Winona.

Would you happen to be a Mr. Joseph Carter?

Nah, man, you like, uh, just missed him.

Would you happen to know where he went?

Who are you?

Yeah, yeah, he went to the stripper's. Candy Cane's.

She was this friend of the other stripper that got bumped off the other night.

- Did he say why he went? - Why do you wanna know?

Uh, he said something about, uh, he thought she knew something.

Man, he was like real crazy, man, freaked out, like in a daze.

Haven't been out of his crib all day.

Did he say where the young lady lived?

Yeah.

Uh, it's like first pan above Hungry Man's restaurant, like right down there.

Eh, thanks a lot, man. Peace!

- Who do you think you'll find here? - Kilroy.

Why did you do that?

I didn't think you'd want to be on the floor when the police arrive.

They wouldn't step over you.

Lieutenant Anderson, please.

No. No emergency.

Lieutenant Anderson,

a friend of mine stepped into some trouble and seems to have lost face.

All right, stop taking those goddamn pictures!

Or I'll arrest every one of you.

Now look, Gentry.

Happen to know anything else, or have you found anything and forgot to tell me?

Lieutenant...

I'm sorry, I cannot stay for your pardon.

But I have some things to attend to.

Hey, don't you think that guy, Carter, has anything to do with the murders?

Hardly. A diversionary tactic.

- How do you figure? - Miss Weston,

I'm not here to instruct you on criminal investigations or ingenious methods.

Well, where to, then?

How about your apartment?

Why, Abraham, you're flattering me.

Yes, I was thinking of putting you to bed.

And giving you an adequate dose of sleeping pills to get rid of you for a few days.

Tell me, Mr. Gentry, do you try to be a jerk or does it just...

Come naturally.

Get in and fasten your seat belt.

- Where to? - Tops and Bottoms.

The place where our friend worked who had her face lifted.

You're resting your crutch on my foot.

I don't want you to move an inch from this spot.

Oh, no. Ow!

OK, OK.

Where are you going?

Going to pay a small visit to the bartender.

How would you like a drink while I'm gone?

Hey, Barney, give me a couple of Martinis and a Manhattan on the rocks, please.

- Right with you. Yeah. - Now. Yeah, yeah.

All I ever do around this place is wait.

Come on.

Hey, she's taking it all off!

Excuse me.

Sorry, you are inexcusable.

Well, if it isn't Miss Glamour.

If I would have known you were coming, Mr. Clean,

I would have bought a bottle of Pepto-Bismol for you and a bottle of disinfectant for me.

It never occurred to me that I might run into you after your work

twice in one day.

But, if it did, I would have thought your second job would have caused me

to bump into you on the street.

Look. What do you want? I'm busy.

I don't wanna get fired for talking to riff raff.

The young lady at that table would like a Zombie in a tall glass

with four shots of tequila.

How long has she been out with you?

Just deliver the drink.

- Hey, Barney. - Yeah.

I want a Zombie in a tall glass with four shots of tequila.

Don't ask me why.

- Hey, Barney. - Yeah.

- I'd like to talk to you for a minute. - I'm too busy, Max.

Hey, Charlie, take over for me. I gotta take a shit.

Yeah, buddy, what's on your mind?

Who's that big man at the end of the bar,

the one mutilating those squashes and tomatoes?

Oh, him, he's Grout.

- Grout? - Yeah, Grout.

That's all I've ever heard him called.

Hey, uh, why are you interested in him?

Please tell me everything you can about him.

Yeah, buddy.

Now, uh, you know, I don't know much about him,

like, where he lives and stuff like that

but what I do know is that he's an ex-Marine

and he spent a lot of time in Vietnam.

Now, he was really crazy.

You know what he used to do?

He hated them gooks so much that he used to go through the rice paddies

after the battles were over and he'd start busting in the heads of the dead bodies.

Well, they didn't bother him much, you know.

Till they found out he wasn't just busting in the heads of the gooks.

Well, our boys too!

Hmm, did they discharge him?

Hell no!

Why'd they do that?

And then, what?

He came here, got a job. Keeps pretty much to himself.

What about the squashes and tomatoes?

Oh, that, he says he does it to relieve tension,

and bring back fond memories.

What time did he come in tonight?

About an hour ago.

Thank you very much, Barney.

Sure, buddy, anytime.

Hey, Barney, you done with that shit, yet?

Yeah!

How is my lovely partner doing?

Oh, they sure make a great drink at this joint.

Abraham, you called me your partner.

Did you mean it?

Do I ever say anything I don't mean?

I have one more person to see.

How would you like another drink, while I'm gone?

Are you trying to get me drunk now to take advantage of me later?

Well, you don't have to get me drunk to do that.

I know.

Waitress.

I was afraid it was your voice.

My charming companion would like another, of the same.

See you later, Abie.

No, I'm afraid not.

Hey, Grout, I wish you wouldn't be so messy.

Mr...

Mr. Grout.

Hey, all right.

Ladies and gentleman, the Tops and Bottoms club

proudly presents another of our most beautiful and voluptuous young maidens,

Miss Lola Prize.

- What's going on, Mary? - Shh.

Mr. Grout?

All right, girls, just get on stage.

As soon as she goes into her act, we'll go into ours.

Yeah!

We'll show these striptease bitches just what we think!

Yeah!

If we don't rip her hair out.

Yeah!

Mr. Grout!

Why do you keep on bothering me?

Let's go!

Hey, folks, get outta here.

Mr. Grout, please accept my apology,

but I just thought I would tell you that

the police already know about Miss Candy Cane's murder tonight.

Get out of here!

Get 'em, girls! Get 'em!

Hi, Abie.

- Time to go home, Nancy. - Oh, good!

- Oh. - Oh, oh, oh.

Taxi!

Come with me.

I want you to take the young lady home. Stick out your hands.

Here is her address and this is her key.

Keep the change.

Hey, you haven't told me your name yet.

Abraham Gentry.

- You mean... - The Abraham Gentry.

Abie.

Pickles.

Do you mind if I lie down?

I'm still pretty shook up.

Do you know a Miss Candy Cane?

Sure. She strips at the same joint I do.

She didn't come in tonight. Funny, you should bring her up.

Nothing can bring her up.

She was murdered tonight.

Oh, my God.

Well, who could have killed her?

That's what I'm trying to find out. And I think you might be able to help.

That's the second of my friends that've been killed in the last couple of days.

You know Miss Suzie Creampuff too?

Well, not real good, but Candy was good friends with her

and I was good friends with Candy.

I still can't believe it.

- She was so sweet. - Hmm.

Are you familiar with a young man named Joseph Carter?

I just met him tonight.

He wanted to see Candy to talk to her about Suzie,

but he was too shy to go to her apartment so he came to work to wait for her.

Now, he'll never get to meet her. I just can't believe it.

Do you know whether she or Suzie knew Grout?

Sure, we all know him.

He scares me, the way he's always staring at my head.

But he does protect me from mashers.

Mashers, yes.

What about, uh, the leader of that women's group that attacked you tonight?

That bitch. She's always causing trouble around the clubs.

She says, "You strippers is a disgrace to womanhood."

Has she ever threatened to kill any of you before tonight?

All the time.

- We get... of the Marzdone... - Marzdone? Mobilie?

Yeah, do you know him? He's the owner of all these clubs.

Quite well.

Anyway, he says that if we did,

publicity will just bring more of them together and make things worse.

Until tonight, they just picketed and ran off with the mail.

Tore off a couple of our costumes.

Oh, yeah, one night, she came in the club,

took off her bra on stage.

Well, Candy grabbed it out of her hands and put it on.

It was real funny coz Candy is five or six times bigger than she is.

Thank you very much, Lola.

You've been a big help to me.

Well, aren't you gonna stay for a cup of coffee or something?

Well, uh, I have to get a little rest.

But you can rest. Here.

He was kinda cute.

What are you doing here?

Ah, Gentry.

All right, stop it!

OK, Gentry, what did you and Miss Prize talk about?

Uh, Lieutenant, have you figured out that I left prior to the killing?

Yeah. Yeah, just tell me what you talked about.

I take it that the cause of death was exactly like the others.

Uh... Face mutilated with a meat tenderizer.

Throat slit and this one had her ass beat in.

Tell me what you talked about!

Um...

Hey, look, Gentry, you're trying my patience, now, if you don't start co-operating...

- Things. - Huh?

We talked about things.

Am I gonna have to take you down to the station?

How original. All right, Lieutenant.

I took Miss Prize home after an incident with some women's liberationists.

Yeah.

I questioned her about why she felt the women had attacked her?

Yeah.

Let's see, oh, yes, and she removed every stitch she had on.

Began explaining how the other women were jealous of her body...

Oh, and then she pointed out a few of the high spots.

Yeah, then.

Oh, yeah, she propositioned me.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, go ahead. What'd you do then?

Oh, Lieutenant, have you no respect for the privacy of one's intimate relations,

let alone the dead?

Now, look, Gentry,

when it comes to law and order, it's my duty and responsibility

to find out everything.

You act as if I get pleasure out of this.

Now, what did you do then?

Well, I explained to this poor lost soul

how she would find much more pleasure and satisfaction in the teachings of God

than any encounter with me, and I left her reading her Bible.

OK, wise guy. If that's true, where's the Bible?

Lieutenant, how brilliant. You've uncovered something I never thought of.

The murderer is a religious fanatic

who is ridding the world of these unscrupulous harlots.

Yeah, I got it.

That person wouldn't leave her with the Bible.

- So the murderer took it. - Right.

You find that Bible and you've got yourself a killer.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot, Gentry.

- Don't thank me, you did all the work. - Oh, yeah. Yeah!

All right, men, we gotta find the Bible.

- Why? - What?

Now!

- I just... - Uh, Lieutenant.

Yeah, what do you want, Gentry?

You mentioned something about Miss Prize's hind end being pulverized?

I haven't discovered the reason why, yet,

but when we found her she was on her back, with her...

Her panties pulled down to her knees.

And when we turned her over, her...

Uh, her... The lady's, uh, fanny was smashed.

There was no apparent reason for it, but we did find this next to it.

- I'm sure you'll think of something. - Yeah.

- Good night, Lieutenant. - Thanks, Gentry.

Oh, Freddy...

- How's the wife and kids? - Oh, we're all fine, Mr. Gentry. And you?

Couldn't be better.

Freddy, I'd like you to take what's in this piece of paper and on that handkerchief

and have the boys in the lab give me everything they can on it.

Needless to say, we don't want, you know who, to find out about it.

Oh, buy the boys some good cigars.

Sure enough, Mr. Gentry, I'll take care of everything.

- Good night, Freddy. - Anytime, Mr. Gentry.

Linda, I'm home.

Girls! Girls!

Girls!

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

What's going on?

What happened? What's going on here?

- I'm just trying to help. - Well, let me help.

What is wrong? What is wrong?

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

Find anything?

- Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. - Well...

Oh, now look, Gentry.

You don't expect me to tell you about confidential police evidence, do you?

Anyway, if you've found something, you wouldn't tell me.

Lieutenant...

Must I remind you of that brilliant religious theory that you came up with?

Well, no, but that was proved wrong already.

Lieutenant, I'm surprised at you.

Are you going to stand there and tell me that just because you've found

that obviously planted Bible in unavoidable sight,

that you're going to disregard a theory that your own genius so cleverly devised?

- Now, are you? - That obviously planted Bible.

I don't know about you, but it's perfectly clear to me that

the girl's Bible was taken by the murderer and that one left to mislead the authorities.

Well, no, I mean, yeah.

Of course, of course I realize that.

I just wanted to see if you're as smart as you're cracked up to be.

I guess we can show you what we've found.

Since it has no real bearing on the case anyway,

That is, if you'd wanna bother.

Another one of these things. Found it on the floor in the kitchen.

Hey, what do you make of that girl's chest?

Not very much at the moment.

That must be why the murderer used heat in these killings.

To give the girls a taste of their destiny?

Well, sure.

The madman must have figured to burn them some here

before they got down there.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

Doc.

Doc.

Oh, hello, Mr. Gentry.

Doc, are there any differences in the murders, aside from the different means of mutilation?

No, but I'll tell you one thing. This murderer sure wasn't weak.

Hmm.

Thank you, Doc. Nancy...

- It's time for you to do something useful. - What?

I want you to find the leader of that women's lib gang,

Mary McHenry.

Somehow find out how strong she is and if she wears any makeup.

And then, I want you to act sympathetic to her cause,

tell her you're writing a story about her feelings about the murders.

And to play it safe, you better take off your bra.

Anything else?

Yes, find out if she wore a wig and if so get me all you can on it.

And then check out Miss Prize's apartment. See if she wore a wig.

- And if so, get me samples. - Where are you going?

I'm going to visit the owner of all those clubs where the girls worked,

Mr. Marzdone Mobilie.

Hey, fellas, I got a really great idea.

How about an amateur strip contest?

I'll put a sign in all our places saying, "So you wanna be a stripper?

"Amateur strip contest. Come one, come all.

"Big prize!"

- Hey, you know what the prize is gonna be? - What's that, boss?

Me.

Well, what's the prize really gonna be, boss?

Uh, how about 200 bucks? Do you think that's enough?

I don't know, boss.

Come here, baby.

Do you think $200 is really a big enough prize?

For what?

- About the prize. 200 bucks. Any, uh... - For what?

Oh, take a walk. I'll call you when I need you.

Hey, fellas, maybe I ought to give 300 bucks as the prize.

Mr. Mobilie?

Hey, buddy, can you read the sign back there? It says, closed till 5:00. Beat it.

Hey, maybe I ought to throw in a...

Like the George Washington monument.

Yeah, boss. Yeah.

Mr. Mobilie.

Gentry! Fred, Sam!

Nice going, Gentry. They deserved that.

I would have done it myself, only I didn't have the heart to do it.

Sit down for a minute.

I want you to know, I don't bear any grudges.

Well, do me a favor, will you, Gentry?

Stop investigating my places. I've got enough problems.

You know, I just found out this morning that two more of my girls were bumped off.

And the rest of the girls are...

Nobody'll be here tonight, they even have...

What about the waitress over there?

She hasn't got the chest for anything. No tits.

I'm trying to get some amateur strippers here. I'm desperate.

Say, by the way, what are you investigating?

Ironically, in a way, I'm working for you.

I'm investigating the murders of your now thoroughly exotic dancers.

- No... - Very little, if any.

Hey, boss, can we go home? I don't feel so good.

Yeah, go ahead and don't forget to be back by 5:00

- and bring your other head. - Yeah, boss.

Are you a cop?

I informed you that my services are indirectly awarded to you and you keep insulting me.

When was the last time you saw Grout?

Oh, he was around a little while ago.

Personally, I think he left for warmer climates. Dig?

Do you think it was because of the murders?

No, around here kept running out of squash.

Do you know he's a damn good bartender?

And besides, he kept

- the mashers away from the broads. - The mashers away from the broads.

Do you have any feelings about the murders?

Oh, buddy, I got a big hurt, right here in my heart.

Listen, if you're gonna do business with him, I'm gonna quit.

Listen, you mind your own business.

- You know who this is? - Yeah, I know exactly who and what this is.

Marlene and I have had what you might say

the mutual displeasure of each other's acquaintance,

uh, several times in the past few days.

But, in all honesty, I alone have suffered.

Listen, if I weren't such a lady, I'd let you have...

Hey, wait a minute here, I've got enough troubles here.

Say, Mr. Gentry, you've been around many years.

What do you think about giving a prize to the best amateur stripper?

I think you're just asking for trouble by using amateurs.

Hey, do me a favor, would you mind your own business?

Look, some guys are gonna come in here and lose sight of his chick

and find her on stage with her clothes off

and then wanna kill every other guy in the joint who saw her.

With a cash prize like that, you're just gonna trouble

the amount of broads wanting to do that.

Hey! That's great.

I'll split the $1000 amongst the three places.

- What do you think, Mr. Gentry? - It's a great idea.

Get those women on stage, give them some money

and let their egos do the rest.

By then, the money will become secondary to be chosen the most sexy.

As a matter of fact,

this is the biggest of your clubs, isn't it?

- And the best located? - Certainly, this is the greatest.

Instead of stringing things out, why not bring everything together here?

All for $1000 for first prize.

You can let the women in for free and get a five-dollar cover charge for the men.

Hey, that's great.

And as a matter of fact, to show you my heart's in the right place,

I have a friend at the newspaper, I'll get her to print a feature story.

"The greatest striptease show of the century."

Hey, that's fantastic.

Where you've been all my life?

Say, Gentry, you're a genius!

Sometimes I can hardly believe it.

You're nuts. After tonight, you only have a place left.

They'll tear this club apart.

Stop and think a minute.

There will be hundreds of strippers.

Things'll get out of hand.

And the things will get in hand too. Money, money, money.

Damn, it's been good to see you, Abe.

Hey, don't make it so long next time.

I promise, Lizzie. Thank you for the information.

Guess who?

Weston, what did you find out?

I found out the women's liberation movement is really together.

Hey, you didn't put your bra back on.

You looked, I mean, probably never will.

- Fine. Now what did you find out? - I found out

that women's rights have been denied since the beginning of time and...

Now, what did you find out?

Well, I found out that Mary McHenry knows

all the places she was, at the times of the murders,

but she was always alone.

She said... "You know, I wish I knew who was bumming off those strippers."

"Womanhood strippers, coz I'd like to congratulate her."

"I wished it was me."

Do you think she had anything to do with it?

I don't know. She really hates strippers.

Hmm. What about the wig?

Mary didn't wear wigs or makeup.

Hmm. Say, do you think you can get your editor to print a feature story

- and run, maybe an ad for tonight's edition? - Sure.

Mmm. How would you like to go out tonight?

- With me? - Sure.

All right, well, we'll finish eating

and then I'll take you home, pick you up again around 8:00.

Yeah, about 8:00. And wear something sexy.

- Need anything else? - Oh, no. This is fine. Thank you.

Come in.

My. Aren't we risqué tonight?

I'm certainly willing.

Folks, how do you like the show so far?

Pretty bad, huh? Pretty bad, huh?

...you can do if you want to do your thing. Go ahead.

OK, I promised to let him do that, he used to work at Sing Sing.

Folks, I want you to drink up, we have plenty of booze here.

And I got to tell you

that we just got the news on the television that Tom Jones crossed his legs quickly.

He's in critical condition.

OK, we have two more contestants left.

And the lucky one is gonna get $1000 for a prize.

Now here's the next contestant.

Hey, get them the best table in the house. Right in there.

You're just in time for the second contestant.

And here she is now, folks. Our next contestant,

Miss Ruby Diamond.

Well, what'll it be, Mr. Big Spender?

I'll have a glass of brandy and the usual for Miss Weston.

- A Zombie in a tall glass... - Yeah, I know.

Come on, baby.

Come on, baby.

Shake it, come on.

All right, folks.

- How do you like that dance? - All right!

- Oh, great. - That was a lovely lady bringing up a cold.

That was a better way to bring up a family.

She dresses in one room and I dress in the next room

and there's a little hole in the wall.

I let her look.

Take a look at her, I wanna go home and beat my wife.

My wife wanted a face lift that they couldn't do,

for $80 they lowered her body.

And now, folks, for the last contestant.

Ah, she's adorable, folks.

I'd like you to meet Miss Ramona Mona.

That is the sexiest woman I've ever seen.

I don't think she's that sexy.

She's really the best.

None of the others were anything like her.

My, my, my...

She is remarkable.

I can dance better than that any day.

Pretty you are and you have a nice figure, but not like that.

How would you know?

You've never seen me like that.

I'm not criticizing you. She's built differently.

And moves it in a different way.

I can move it better than that.

Ramona Mona. Oh, isn't she great?

I didn't think she was that great.

I'm next.

Come on, baby.

Come on, baby.

Not only has Nancy Nancy won the contest

but she is a new star of Marz's Heaven!

Congratulations.

Oh...

Abe, did you really think I was the best?

Nancy, not only were you the best

- but you still are. - Oh.

I have to take care of something.

Mmm...

All right, Abe. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Well, if it isn't the distinguished Marlene the barmaid.

Oh, Marlene, oh, how clumsy... Ah, ah, ah.

I'm sorry. I forgot the cheese and crackers, so you won't need that knife.

Poor Marlene, jealous of all the strippers and...

Because Marzdone was making it with them and paid no attention to you.

You despise them and so you mutilated them because they had something

you didn't have anymore.

What was that, Marlene?

Marlene, let's see.

Was I right or was I right?

What a character.

That's Marlene. All over.

Oh, Abe.

Oh, Abe, I was having this terrible dream that that girl at the club was trying to kill me.

I know.

You do?

Wait a minute, how did I get here?

Now, forget about that for now. I'll explain all that tomorrow.

Now, get yourself together. You're gonna spend the night at my place.

And I'll give you your story in the morning.

Good morning. May I please speak to Lieutenant Anderson?

I'm sure he won't mind being awakened. Tell him it's Abraham Gentry.

Good morning, Lieutenant. I hope I didn't awaken you.

I'm sorry, but I thought you'd like to know that

the murderer you were looking for just fell from a second-story window.

And she just ruined her makeup.

Good night, Lieutenant.

Oh, by the way, Lieutenant, she was an atheist.

If you're ready, we may be on our way.

Abe, will you treat me like a woman?

Of course. With all the respect you're entitled to.

Oh, Abe.

A bit of ingenuity on my part, it was as simple as that.

I didn't suspect Marlene,

until I remembered an incident with an exiled lady wrestler.

My mental powers, I was sure of,

and so I set up the situation in which I can trap

the murderer and lure her into my hands.

Hopefully, in the middle of one of her facial extravaganzas.

You mean to tell me that you used me as the meat to bait your trap.

I gave you that honor.

Why, you no good dirty rat!

Now, we had to come face to face with the murderer.

"We had to come face to face"?

I had to come face to face!

And I almost lost mine.

We had nothing of great importance to lose, if my theory had been proved unsound.

Now, I came in time, didn't I?

What if you had come a second too late?

Well, I knew.

Now, do you want to quibble over nothing or do you want your story?

Go on.

I went to see an old and dear friend of mine, Lizzie Murdoch.

Better known to her wrestling fans as Lizzie the Snake,

- or the Python Lady... - I figure she'd be a friend of yours.

Go on.

Unrelated in my memory, I have a lady league wrestler named

Betty the Beautiful.

The wrestler extraordinaire, who with her perfect body

perfectly stripped every opponent she got on top of.

Now, Lizzie's recollection was the same as mine.

Betty wanted out of the wrestling game and got into strip-teasing.

- Yeah. - And she was an instant sensation

and of course was picked up and managed by none other than

- Marzdone Mobilie. - No kidding.

I do not kid.

Marzdone made a lot of money with her and even decided to marry her,

- until her unfortunate accident. - Which was?

Well, one night, Betty was trapped in her bedroom

when a fire broke out and before they could get there to help her

she was burned badly.

And?

Well, plastic surgery was successful on her face.

But her head and her chest were completely disfigured.

Well, Marzdone had no further use for her, but out of pity,

he changed her name and gave her a job as a waitress...

So with Marzdone having nothing else to do with her,

she slowly started going nuts

and became insanely jealous of all the girls who had what Marzdone wanted.

Exactly.

Well, what triggered off your memory about Marlene?

And how are you so sure it wasn't Grout or Mary McHenry?

Oh, it was something Marzdone said...

He said that she couldn't strip because she didn't have the chest for it.

Well, that started me thinking.

And later on, when we had a confrontation together

she threatened me with some sort of a gesture

- that only a lady wrestler would use. - And Grout?

Well, Grout...

I was pretty sure Grout wasn't the murderer after seeing all those clues

that seemed to exploit him.

As a matter of fact, I even tried to catch him

to tell him I no longer suspected him.

And Mary, the women's libber?

Yes, Mary didn't wear makeup and from the information the boys in the lab gave me

I knew the murderer wore a wig and super cover makeup.

Which Marlene needed to cover those surgery scars.

Go on.

Well, I had to stage that naked extravaganza

to bait her on.

I led her to believe you and I had something going

and when you won that contest...

Wait a minute.

Did I legitimately win that contest?

Not only did you really win that contest fair and square,

I'm led to believe that you have the finest form I have ever seen.

Poor Marlene.

Hers is the saddest story of all.

She lost face three times.

First with her wrestling fans, then with her striptease patrons.

And finally, between a layer of concrete and the wheel of a car.

She did go out in style though. It was a new car.

Abe...

There's still something I haven't lost yet.

Oh, it isn't your nerve or your sense of humor, uh, let's see, what could it be?

You've seen enough.