Original subtitles

I miss you already.

Have you checked in?

I don't want you to miss your flight.

I'm in the airport parking lot as we speak.

I just can't believe this is going to be our first New Year's apart in, what,

five years?

If I was a little more insecure, I'd start getting suspicious of someone

capturing your attention.

It's climate conflict.

The only other woman who could possibly keep us apart is Mother Earth. She and I

have been competing for your attention for years, so I guess she can get you

this time.

Look, I promise I'll make it up to you once I get back next week, okay?

I love you.

I love you, too.

Too much.

Too much.

I see that you do sustainable forestry. Well done.

Almost everything you see here is currently in season.

You know, I firmly believe that one can still be very romantic whilst only using

seasonal flowers.

Yes. I'll be taking the... Here we go. Thank you.

And, uh...

Not to worry, I'll be composting these babies once their lifespan has ended.

Very romantic.

She's a lucky lady. No, no, I'm the lucky one.

This is going to be the best New Year's in over a decade.

Hey, someone say holiday.

You're late.

Are you surprised?

Help me with this, please? That cannot happen.

Why not?

You know Daniel's all about plastic.

He's not even going to be on this trip. Sure. I don't like to disrespect him.

Seriously?

Okay.

I guess what happens is how do you stay with the camera?

Okay.

Ready?

Ready.

It's not you.

No, it's the perfect transitional vehicle if you don't want to go full -on

electric. Yeah, but I think hybrid is the way to go. It's the future.

We're here.

I know.

We're here.

We're here.

Oh, man.

Okay, Dan's obsession is getting really extreme.

When is he installing a charging unit for the hybrid?

He really wants to stop using petrol completely.

Of course he does. To be honest, I agree with him.

is produced when gasoline burns is astronomical and one of the main

to information.

Okay, Greta.

Smells like home. Oh, my gosh.

It's so huge.

It's massive.

Massive.

Stay.

Oh, wow.

How have we been so long?

I see nothing's changed.

Oh, guys.

What?

This is the first step.

that I went on with a boyfriend. That is literally my favorite photo of you

guys.

You should have seen his parents' faces when they realized that dad and I had

spent the night together in a bedroom.

I've never in all of my years seen two conservative middle -aged people be so

happy to find out that I was lesbian.

I can imagine.

It's insane.

I went to the graves last week.

They really loved you.

Yeah.

It treated me better than my own parents did.

The cavern is full of love and good memories.

I wonder what they'll think of me now that I'm sleeping with their son's

Jess.

What are we doing?

Hey.

We didn't ask for this to happen.

We just did.

I know.

You have to tell him. I said I would.

When? There's nothing we can do about it now.

But I promise I'll tell him.

The letter you're trying to write would be such a comfort to your love.

Now listen.

Of course I do.

The night we met.

I'd climb the highest mountain.

I'd even go out as far as trying to swim the deepest sea.

Now listen, maybe Blondie will give you a better understanding. That's such an

awkward answer.

What's your ultimate sexual type?

Mine? Yeah.

I have so many.

Okay.

What's your ultimate one? Like, the one you won't even tell me.

I'll have to get back to you on that one. No!

Why? You're such a tease.

I can't give all my secrets away.

No, give me something.

You wouldn't like me then.

Oh, wow.

I just want to grab them.

That one.

That's the right one.

Cornelius Armstrong.

Could you tuck it in, please?

I hate it when bed sheets hang loose.

This is my side.

There's another.

Well, you can't always have everything your way. Yes, I can. You can. I can't.

Thank you.

Amen.

How am I going to explain this? We've been given a perfect opportunity to tell

him. Are you insane?

He's just decided to surprise me for years, and this is how you suggest I

him? Look, it's beautiful here. Maybe it'll soften the blow or something.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe he'll just invite you to move in with us. Hey,

I am going to ruffle up the bed in the attic and make it look like you slept

there.

I changed my mind. What?

What? I think the only way out of this is to pretend you're never here.

How are you going to do that exactly?

We can hide you there for the morning. I'll take Daniel away and then I'll make

up an excuse to drive you to the village later, okay?

You can get a lift back to town in front of the farmers.

Chase, please.

You're never going to tell him, are you? I am. Jessica. I am.

What am I? Are you just living off some sexual fantasy? No, no, no, no, no. I

just don't think ruining his childhood family holiday home is the best way to

about doing this. Okay, so spending time with me ruins it all. No, that's not

what I meant, Jessica.

This isn't just about me. I don't want to hurt him. And I don't want him to

out some other way. He deserves to hear it from you.

You're right.

I'll tell him as soon as we're back home.

I promise.

Where do you want me to hide?

Um... No, I don't think I've found a path out in there one time. No, no!

I'm not kidding. Please.

It'll only be a couple of hours' pause.

And I won't close the boot completely.

Oh, thank you for not wanting to suffocate. It won't be that long. Would

look at Daniel the quick PJ? I'll put on a soothing tattoo on the environment in

a sleepy time. Fine.

I'm joking.

About the PJ? Yes. And about kidding.

No, I'm serious about that. No. No. Oh.

No. You are being unreasonable.

Get off me.

Yes. This is. No. Oh. Get off me. Get off me. Get off me.

What are you doing here?

So random.

It's a really interesting story, actually.

Uh -huh.

Sophia, she thought that... There was a fire on the mountain yesterday, and

Jason wanted to stay in the cabin by herself, so she asked me to join her.

Yeah.

And you know how I'm scared of asphyxiation.

Yeah, so I drove to the village and then she picked me up and we came here

together. Well, excellent.

Yeah, I slept in the attic.

And so I didn't want to gatecrash our New Year's, so I'm dropping it out of

car. When have you ever been in imposition?

No, I know, but... No, I'm serious. Like, thank you for being here for her.

I appreciate it.

So, the sales day, that means for New Year's.

And then I'll take you back on Monday.

Come on, I haven't seen you in forever.

Yeah, sure.

That's historic.

But how does this help the New Year's party?

I think

you should tell him today.

Hey, Guy!

Guy?

Look what I found.

What, my love?

Well, the Khoisan's auntie to Viagra.

Smell it.

Go ahead.

It's called Lovebush.

So? You can take a bath in it, or for some extra potency, drink it as a tea.

Woo!

Hello? Hello?

What? Come on.

Daniel!

When did you become such a princess? Just jump in and swim with us. No, man,

not even... Just leave me alone.

Come on.

You haven't done this thing, what, forever?

Yeah, I think, like, four, five years?

Five years.

Yeah. I don't know, I'm good, thanks.

So how's the dating scene going?

Are you seeing anyone?

Kind of.

Kind of.

Kind of.

Now, I really hope the woman you're seeing now is better than that previous

What was her name again?

Who? It sounded like toilet cleaner.

Jax.

Jax. Stop, Jax.

Wow, wow. That is mean.

She was such an asshole.

That she was.

I just want to see you happy, you know?

Find someone that makes you smile, laugh, feel safe.

You know, someone like Jay.

I'm fine. You're not fine. Stop lying.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Rose Flavors.

I'm going to go and check up on Jess.

See that everything's okay.

I'll check you later.

Check you later, bro.

Just make sure Mama Bear doesn't break her neck.

What? No, nothing.

Just something that Daniel said.

What? What do you mean?

Do you think he's sick?

No, man.

The secret's safe. For now.

Is that your only little secret?

I don't know what you mean.

Dad just referred to you as Mama Bear. And I know that that's what his dad used

to call his mom when she was pregnant.

He's joking, right?

Jess, what's going on? Jess, are you pregnant? No.

No. Well, not yet, anyway.

What do you mean, not yet?

It's something Daniel and I discussed.

It's not such a stretch.

Not such a stretch?

What about us? I think you're being a bit dramatic now. I can't believe that

and Daniel have been having these discussions and nobody even consulted

you serious?

Yes.

You're fucking your best friend's fiancé and you're the one who's upset right

now. Can you take a moment to see how actually ludicrous you're being?

Ludicrous? Yes, ludicrous.

We're under no obligation to consult you about the decisions we've reached in

our relationship.

The sacred trust between us is just that.

Sacred. That's how very fucking woke of you.

I really don't mean to upset you. Upset isn't even a word.

Hey, you can't keep doing this. To him or me.

Okay, how about we tell him to... Absolutely not. We're in this together.

we're not. Jess, you came on to me. Okay? This is all your fault.

So own your shit and tell him.

I don't like being played and neither does he.

I'm not doing this anymore.

Okay.

I'll tell him.

Tonight?

Tonight.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hey lady, where you running off to again?

My heart, I said don't you know every time

you go, I fall apart.

So say...

Wait. No, I've heard this song so many times, Daniel.

Write another song.

That's brutal.

Isn't it time yet?

Oh,

no. Yeah, 15 seconds.

What?

Well, get the glasses. Yeah.

All right.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year.

You love me?

Yeah. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

I'm so glad you're here with us.

Okay, let's drink.

Sorry. Here we go.

Spillage.

All right.

To the future.

To the future.

And may all our wildest dreams and fantasies come true.

Bottoms up.

And now, my dear.

Your New Year's surprise awaits for you.

Come on. Come on.

In the bedroom.

Au revoir, mademoiselle.

Go ahead.

No. Open it. Okay.

Hello. Made from PETA -approved natural fabrics, including God -certified

organic cotton. And wait for it.

Banana fabric.

Thank you.

No. Thank you.

Thank you for making every new year just better.

And better.

I'm better.

I'm better.

Daniel. Yeah.

Daniel. So much better. Daniel.

Oh, yeah.

I think I got a stroke.

Oh, no, you're okay.

Can we just sleep tonight?

Try a glass of water.

I'll be back.

What are you thinking?

I'm just browsing new hybrids. I'm due for an upgrade soon. New year, new car.

You've had that car for what?

Seven years now.

About seven years.

And you love that car, hey?

Love is a strong word, but... No, I'm not kidding. I love that car.

Just like you love me?

Mm -hmm.

Because I'm kind of like a hybrid.

Ah.

I think I know what you're trying to say. Do you?

Yeah.

Because you two are so good for the environment, and you love it when I ride

you. Don't. That's not fair.

I have something that I need to tell you. No, no, no. You know what?

I know what we should call our kid.

What? Prius.

Yeah. Yeah.

Really?

Fancy.

I understand.

I really tried to tell him.

But you know how it gets when you succeed in making a trip on electricity

It really turns him on.

Give me the fucking details, Cersei. I can't.

I

don't want to

hurt either of you.

Jessica.

Jessica!

Easy.

So I thought I'd make folks favorite, you know, help cheer her up. Yeah.

I think she's having some trouble in the romance department. So she was dumped?

No.

They're just having some timing issues.

Oh, new love.

Yeah. I remember those days, yeah.

And all you wanted to do is spend every moment together.

Mm -hmm. I remember.

Not like us old couples who can't stand the sight of each other.

And go fetch that half a million in the bar for me.

Kiss.

Kiss.

yeah I think Soph went for a swim

Too far to go to squander and

burn.

You played second fiddle, now put down that threadbare bow.

You have quitted the weight

of the million men on your back.

I hear you call.

Thank you.

Daniel? No.

Just because we're on holiday does not mean we stop recycling.

Should ladies have a nice time?

Wonderful.

Well, Sophia's in a much better mood.

Well, I bet she is.

Baby, why are you doing this?

It's organics.

Do not go with non -organics. Is that so difficult to understand?

Can't you just leave the trash and come join us for a drink or something? I'd

really, really love to.

But selfish people keep destroying the planet without realizing that it does

belong to them.

Okay, you're being silly.

Am I making you feel guilty, huh?

It's a fucking banana peel.

It's not just a fucking banana peel. Because if you don't feel guilty about a

banana peel, why on earth would you feel guilty about anything else?

Daniel, what's going on?

You know, I could ask you the same question.

Like, why did I see you stick your traitorous tongue down my fiancé's

huh?

Let's start there.

I think that's a very good place to start.

You were supposed to be my best friend, Soph.

I've always had your back, no matter what.

When your family, your own flesh and blood kicked you out, we took you in.

You... I can't even look at you right now. What happened?

It was an innocent kid. You were naked.

Sophia, tell him we weren't naked. Yes, Sophia, tell him we weren't naked.

You know his dress.

No use in denying it.

Daniel, I am so sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way. Daniel!

Is it cold outside?

Is it cold outside?

Just talk.

That's it. Okay, everybody outside, right now.

Guys, this has to stop.

Before everything else, we're still friends.

Now that's a fluid, sir.

Fluid is just apparently.

Look, we have to sort this out.

Any suggestions?

Someone has to say something.

Well, she's still my fiancé, and I insist that you leave tonight, because

is still my house.

Danny, I love you, but Jess is the only person that can ask me to leave. No, no.

This is my house, and if I want you to go... Sophia stays.

Don't be sorry, you won't.

It appears that you've made up your mind then.

But I will not be humiliated like this in my own house. The two of you are

welcome to each other. Have a nice fucking life. Stop.

Stop.

Where are you going?

We can talk this through.

Please don't go.

Bono, you can't drive when you're this angry.

Let's just respect Daniel's wishes to leave.

Shit! Baby, come inside. It's less than five.

Take Joyce's car.

You want me to pollute the earth with that piece of shit? Come inside. I'll

you some tea.

Get in the car. Get in the car.

Please, get in the car.

Jesus.

Help me push the car. Why?

Because I want to charge my car.

Push.

I said push! I am pushing!

Push harder!

Daniel, stop telling me what to do! I'm pushing the car! I thought you could do

anything because you're so...

I'm so sorry.

I never meant to hurt you. It just... It happened.

Well, let me tell you what's going to happen now. You're going to decide, her

me. Daniel, let's just talk about this. No, Jess, I agree with him.

It's time to decide.

Well, Jess and I have been together for over five years. It really is no

contest.

I know I've been busy, and this was probably just a phase.

And no doubt that you were taken in by Sophia's sexual charms, but I've known

her for longer than you have.

She's never been faithful for more than six months, and you are probably just

another knot in a bedpost.

Okay, you can keep your patriarchal language to yourself, Captain Planet.

For your information, Jess and I have been together for six months and 13

Six months? And 13 days. Six months? This is not what I want. So even on my

birthday, when the two of you disappeared into that bathroom, you were

a week? I make her feel alive.

Bullshit. Ask him.

Jess? Please, guys, please stop. How do I make you feel?

You're like a station wagon.

Foxy, safe and slow. Stop it! Stop! Both of you!

Okay.

I'll make a decision.

Just give me the night to sleep on it.

Well, until Jess decides nobody gets to sleep together.

Agreed?

So Jess and I can't sleep next to each other, but we can come and play in the

water later?

No, absolutely not. There will be no sex of any kind in any location. We'll be

had by anyone.

Clarify sex?

Well, you know what I mean.

Okay,

so now that we're all on the same page, no sex, but some queening is allowed.

What the hell is queening? How about scissoring or some life for charge? And

I'm by myself, can I mind the gap? What you do to yourself, by yourself, is your

prerogative. But up until Jess decides, nobody gets to have sex.

Do I make myself clear?

Fine.

Whatever.

Struggling to get fully charged?

There seems to be a problem with this bloody connection.

Maybe you didn't plug it in right.

It seems fine to me.

What are you doing?

Showing you how I feel.

What about the no sex rule?

Like living on the edge.

I love it on the wild side.

Like living on the edge.

Here you are.

I need some fresh air.

Where have you been?

Just took a walk by myself.

So I've given it a thought.

So you've decided?

I think so.

I'm sorry, Soph.

You're joking, right?

Daniel will never survive without me.

You're strong.

You'll get through this. You'll meet someone else.

But he'll crumble if I left him now.

I'm his whole life.

Well, me and the environment.

Is that all you came to say?

Please, Soph.

Please try to understand.

Just go away.

No.

I'm sorry. No, you're not.

I'm sorry.

You're not. Please don't touch me.

Please don't. Just go.

Stop it.

My parents rejected me.

And Daniel and his parents, they took me in.

They made me family.

And you took that away from me.

All of this, that was all you.

I'd lost everything.

I know you've rejected me too.

It's not what's happening here. It's exactly what's happening.

I choose you.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

But she chose me.

No. She chose me.

Dan, I love you, but she chose me. She just told me.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I love you, but she did. You just told me. She chose me.

Stop patronizing me.

That's not what you told me when we fucked in the hybrid.

Jessica, you have some explaining to do.

Jessica, you have to come out now.

I need a drink.

Jez.

No, no, no, no, no. That is my whiskey.

You can't keep taking what is mine. She still chose me. She chose me. No, she's

mine. No, she's mine. No, this, this, this is mine. My whiskey.

My house.

this house.

This house here has been in my family for 93 years.

And my great -grandfather built it with his own two hands.

And my grandpapa helped him.

Daniel! I'm not going to allow the two of you to taint it.

No way.

Daniel?

What are you doing?

Reclaiming what is mine. Put your clothes back on.

No. Daniel?

You get that Kinyan Sandboa out of my face!

Stop it!

It is a boa.

Don't fatter yourself. A Kinyan Sandboa is a skinny little... Oh, my... Jessica!

I'll show you skinny. Oh, my God.

No, this is bad stuff.

He has lost his mind.

This is my garden.

Dan!

Daniel, Daniel, my love, put your clothes back on.

Take a deep breath.

Oh, is this? This here?

This is my driveway.

Daniel. Oh, oh. This beautiful black leather cast.

The betrayal.

Daniel, please, before you lose your marbles, there is absolutely no

that I'm unhappy with the size of it.

You of all people should know that we never use plastic.

Now, do you know how many daughters go in landfills?

The two of you are killing the planet in order to keep me with my best friend

behind my back.

What are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'm losing it. But you're quite still not working.

Don't be silly.

It's a 20 -kilometer hike to the nearest town, and the mountains are full of

lepids and lincolns. At least they won't fuck my fiancée.

Daniel?

Come on, just let him go. He'll be okay. He's wearing sandals.

He's one with nature, I promise. He'll be okay.

Just let him go. He's wearing sandals. Just let him go.

It's okay, it's okay.

Come on, come on.

Daniel, Daniel, please don't go.

Please don't leave me.

Daniel, you can't just walk away from me. I need you.

Of all the people in the world, why her?

Why Sophia?

Just tell me straight, was it the sex? It's not about sex.

Liar. It's not.

I don't believe you.

Okay, okay. Maybe the sex is different.

You mean better. No, I mean different.

So I bore you. No, that's not what I'm saying, Daniel. I don't know how to

explain it to you, my love, but it's not about sex.

I need you to explain it to me.

Why am I not good enough for you? That's not what I'm...

Do you love her?

Do you love her?

Do you know what you are?

Selfish.

Jess? Jessica?

Jess?

You don't need anybody.

She didn't choose you.

Why are you still waiting around?

Daniel, it's been two hours. She chose you. You won.

Have a nice life. She loves you.

What do you mean she chose me?

Did she say that?

Go do your little victory dance.

You're queening, whatever it is. And tell her I'm not coming back.

Daniel, Jess isn't at the cabin.

What do you mean she's not at the cabin?

I thought she was with you.

Jess!

Jess! Jess!

Jess!

Jessica!

Jess! SHUT UP!

Jessica! Jess!

Jess!

Jess!

This is all my fault.

Why don't you do it?

I've loved her as long as you have.

You better put your best foot forward.

What? Because I've invited someone over.

Who? You'll see.

By the looks of it, it's either the girl you've been talking about or it's the

Al Gore.

Daniel, I can't wear this shirt. It's hideous.

What's wrong with it? It's made from 100 % hemp. Are you going to smoke it?

No, seriously, go and put something else on. Oh, because you have such an

amazing fashion sense.

Excuse me? Who taught you about color buffing?

Not you.

She's such a liar. Come.

There's nothing wrong with it. I look fine.

Like, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Go.

Okay, Mom.

Daniel, she's here.

I'm coming.

This one.

Better.

Okay. Open. Okay. This one.

This

is beautiful.

Thanks. I didn't know it was mine. It's red wine.

I love red wine. Good.

Can you step through?

into each life a little rain must fall.

Every day can't be Sunday and every smile is a smile of happiness

and every tear that sheds not a tear of joy.

I'd like to take a little time to dedicate this song to everyone who's in

presence of my voice.

Hi. I've heard so many good things about you.

Yeah, me too.

Wine time.

Wine time.

That's why I had to make the driver.

To get away from her.

I should have just stayed away.

I know.

And you'll please believe me when I tell you that I am.

I am so sorry for everything.

Jessica!

Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Okay.

Breathe.

Okay. I've got your leg. Sit down gently.

You know what?

This is my ultimate fantasy.

Both of you.

And I know it's selfish.

It's so selfish.

But it's what feels right.

And you're my electricity.

And you're my combustion engine.

I need you both to function.

This is weird.

Is it really?

Yeah.

Not everything works best as a pair.

We're the three musketeers.

We're Harry, Ron and Hermione.

We're earth, wind and fire.

The night we all met, I fell in love with both of you.

And the way we all are when we're together.

You're my precious loves.

Some people never even find one.

But I was lucky enough to find two.