Original subtitles

And as you can see from this diagram that I've been working on for the past

several days, we are not related in any way, shape, or form. I've gone back four

generations, and the closest thing that I can find is that your great -great

-grandfather, Phineas, shared a sasparilla with my great -great -great

-grandfather. 27th cousin on my mother's side, and while they were fond of each

other, they never married.

It was like the Old West equivalent of a Tinder date.

But I am so attracted to you.

And I am so attracted to you too, but I am just your accountant, and that is all

I will ever be.

My step -accountant?

No, I'm not your step -anything.

I trust your taxes.

I am so confused.

How can I be feeling this way about somebody that I'm not even related to by

marriage of two people in our immediate family?

How can I even process this?

Can you at least tell me you're going to make sure I get audited if I don't have

sex with you?

Well, that may be taboo, but it's not pure.

Without violating the trust of those nearest and dearest to our hearts, I

can't do this. It doesn't feel right.

You're right.

I'm going to bring it up again.

I guess I'll see you next year.

Wait.

Actually, you are being audited.

But don't worry.

My stepbrother works for the IRS.

And I know just what to do to make this all go away.