Original subtitles

Thankful services.

You do the work, you do the pleasure.

Pleasure.

Will she ever let me bury my face inside those black sheets?

So, Alan, what you working on?

I got a few things in the works.

Really?

Like what?

So forgive me if I'm a little reluctant to tell you what I'm working on.

That is preposterous.

I've never saw anybody's story ever.

And anybody who says differently is jealous.

What the hell is this?

We are the naughty planet.

Now get out of my office and get me some goddamn story.

I'm going to have to find a dead body or something.

I'm never going to get out of this.

Gosh, I'm going to have to kill somebody.

Well, it's all done.

Best of luck to you.

Bye.

Cad's nukes. What a predicament.

Well, that dog boy story was pretty good.

It's just not that many dog boys around anymore.

Oh, hey, Penn.

Someone's awful chipper.

What are you working on over there, hmm?

Oh, nothing big deal. I think the dog boy had puppies or something.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Were they big puppies?

What do you... What

type of story are you?

I was just thinking.

Uh -huh. Well, you know how we talked about maybe going on a

date sometime?

Yeah. I was thinking, maybe if you weren't busy later,

we could, uh, maybe get together for a steak.

You know what? I'd love to.

Maybe tomorrow.

You know what a sexy dame I think you are. But maybe tomorrow I gotta type

story. Yeah, maybe.

I didn't know you felt like that.

Even sexy?

I can't help but tell you that I haven't met you for so long.

Really? For so long, Alan. I think about you every night when I go to bed.

In fact...

I've thought about you for years.

Ever since I started working at this gardener's stake in paper.

Oh, I know.

I know you have a long story here.

I love you. I love you, too.

I love you, too.

Oh, that's fine.

I'm typing well.

And you're typing my Latin. Oh.

That's what it is.

That's what it

is.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Oh, I'm so scared to see this.

It says nothing happened to the naughty planet.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my God.

Come here, let me rub your shoulders.

You just come right over here.

Oh, here he goes. Oh,

I know, you're just exhausted.

Go ahead and lay your head down on the desk. Oh, God, there's nothing better

than resting after a good workout.

I'm in the bathroom right now.

I always go to sleep after.

Oh, goodness me too.

You're just... I should get to that story.

So...

Oh, gosh, you just worked so hard. Mr. Darrow's just been on us, darling. I

know, I know.

It's so hard being a journalist with any

integrity.

What do you want, Blaine? Make it snappy. I gotta get home to the wife and

Well, Terry, tell me to go out and find the story of the sub -string.

And I found it.

I caught the mayor in a public restroom getting hit.

Oh, did you? You caught him, huh?

Mm -hmm. I did. With my very own eyes and my very own camera, I caught him.

Roads like you make me sick, Blaine.

Let me tell you something.

Stafford was in here a half hour ago with the same story.

Your reputation precedes itself.

It's broads like you that give James bad

names.

If you weren't so sexy, I'd kick you out of my office and have you fired.

But I am sexy.

Aren't I, Mr. Darrow?

Yes, you are.

You never...

Go home to your wife on time.

Maybe we can work something out right here.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Mr.

Sarah, you are such a naughty editor.

Your father would be proud.

Don't you think so?

I think you're writing a fine, fine paper.

In fact, I've always had a little thing for you.

You've got kids enough to do.

That's going to start right here.

They keep falling, changing, falling, blending with the sea.

If you could write like you suck, Hawk, you'd be so much better off.

The hardest I've seen you work since you started.

I hardly work.

Oh, shit.

That door is mine, isn't it?

The door is yours.

I haven't even seen your vagina.

Oh, my gosh. It doesn't look like you're really coming back.

Oh, come back, come back, come back.

Oh, no, no, no.

Mr. Jones, here.

I never found anything.

Oh, Brian.

Oh,

Brian.

to do that.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

But wait now, don't you get the house, kids, cars, everything we built together

was ours. Now it's all yours.

Thank you.

Your broads are all the same.

You know what? The story's yours.

Now get the hell out of my office. I gotta get home to my wife.

Alright. I'll have it on your desk.

First thing in the morning.