Original subtitles

Hey, ladies.

Dallas is finally starting to cool down, y 'all. That's why.

Just do what you want.

I have a strange feeling.

It's a great show filled by lattes. And Sheeran's back on tour at the Dallas. I

want to hear about your worst friend. Call it.

The Queen has.

Tuh

Lunchtime fruits.

Oh my God, it's the pre -eating girls.

It's impossible to get a job there.

They're like more royalty.

Here comes mother.

The fruits are so hot.

I heard she went crazy.

Wait, don't they pay?

We don't charge the fruits.

That doesn't fit. She's so much more than that.

I need my shawarma. Gimme, gimme.

Bang.

No. My cowgirl.

Younger.

Some ranch with that?

See, you want that.

Go.

God, I wish I was named after a crew.

Get real.

Sig, hit 10K today.

Cherry, you get to help me unbox the new shipment.

You're basically selling for two now, so if I want to make manager... Wait, are

you pregging? No, no, she's talking about... Don't say her name. She does

work here anymore.

Obviously, I'm not pregnant.

What if I had a boy and had to name him, like, Bob or some shit? Yeah.

Apple, you would make such a better manager than Sharon.

Yeah, whatever it takes to get rid of Sharon.

I think I'll be very, very high.

Yeah, you need a new addiction like I need a tiny little bolero jacket.

Wait, what if we ask Sharon to hire someone new to replace?

She shall not be named. No, I do not need another crackdown mini -me.

Yeah, we don't need anybody fake.

It would ride or die.

Oh, we do not take the escalator in our skinny heels.

I'm going to pee.

Okay.

Alone. Okay, bye.

Okay.

Hey, y 'all.

Oh, Bree's an apple.

Hi.

Um, I don't know what to do with these Renfairs, but you know here at the mall,

we don't talk to the Mr. Peep.

Um, actually, it's just your fault. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Shh,

shh, shh.

Put that down, put that down.

Yeah.

Okay, let's go.

Bye. No, don't wave at her.

What? She'll get the wrong idea.

And then I threw my hot coffee on his dick. Wait,

your coffee or your latte?

Latte, stop. This is serious.

Oh, my God, I'm sorry. You're right. I threw my hot latte on his dick because

obviously I was not going to let this man come.

Oh, my God, of course.

But you know what the most beautiful part is?

I got you an extra latte this morning.

I had the forethought to get you an extra latte.

It's like we're rebelling against the patriarchy together.

Cherry, you have to work on this conclusion you have to make yourself the

character in everyone else's story.

Exhausting.

Yeah. This better be something I can sell the shit out of.

Hey, ladies.

So for you, that'll be $800.

Thank you.

And this three -piece is actually on sale for $2 ,500.

You're so lucky.

I know.

Great.

Thank you.

Hi.

These are so good. Have you ever tried them all together at once? It's, like,

amazing.

Oh.

Glitter mini skirts.

The Hilary Duff collab is back. Thank God. I'm sick of Gordo.

No, you're a Miranda figs of Gordo.

What's her name again?

Pumpkin.

Deadass?

Dead ass what? Wait, is that like a flavor or something? No, it's my name.

I knew there was something special about you.

You did? Yeah.

Sorry, we just have a thing about sister salt, like bottom of the food chain.

Next to keep calling me cookie on, you know what I mean?

Kind of invisible to us.

Sorry. It's okay.

My job doesn't define me.

My hotness and my personality do.

And are you guys hiring?

Have you hit 10K yet? Because Cherry and I are up here working our fucking tits

off. We need you to pull your weight.

Love you, babe.

Copy, Apple.

Who's that?

Why don't you come back tomorrow, but don't bring the pretzels, okay? They're

like poison here.

Actually, bring the pretzels, but only bring the cinnamon ones.

Apple loves cinnamon.

Naturally.

Thanks, Fig.

Thanks, Pumpkin.

So I know that we don't want to hire anyone else, but I just met this super

girl. Her essence is so boho, babe, and she has a great personality.

She's a bit of a fixer -upper, but I told her to come back tomorrow.

Okay, I gotta go. There's a woman down here wearing sweatpants and going

a breakup. It's a lot. Okay, bye.

I keep telling you your nails are a safety hazard.

But I like them so much.

Freshly baked pretzel?

I love cinnamon.

I heard.

Do I know you?

I don't think so.

I just got here last week.

Are you looking for a job, babe?

Bright and early?

I have a job.

Do you like this job?

I get that, though.

Fig, get me an application.

Mm -hmm.

They look like little shits.

So how do you take your coffee?

I don't.

It makes me mom.

I drink tea. Okay, we can work on that.

Do you ever feel alone sometimes?

I have a heart tattooed on my pinky.

I think anybody with a tiny heart tattooed on their body is deeply alone.

I think I got it because my parents couldn't afford to buy me American Girl

dolls when I was little.

I think I'd like to be a doll myself.

I'd like for someone to braid my hair.

Oh, my God.

So rude.

What's your name?

Pumpkin.

Yeah, I know. It's really pumpkin.

We're all fruits here at Freeden. What are you up to tonight?

Well, I was going to go home and make a chocolate cake with my mom.

But, like...

What do you want to be up to tonight?

Burn it.

Come on.

So, were you from Oklahoma?

Uh, what?

No.

Oh, that's crazy, because you were totally giving off a scissor -tailed

flycatcher vibe.

Happens all the time.

That's the state bird of Oklahoma.

Are we allowed to be in here?

Technically, no.

I know a lot about state birds.

No one really likes me in high school, so I know a lot about state birds.

What's the state bird of Texas?

Holy shit.

Holy shit, I'm blanking on it. Oh, my God.

Are you from Texas?

I'm just, I'm from Plano.

Plano. I'm from Irving. It's over by the Cowboy Stadium.

And then Apple is from Grapevine, which is actually kind of close to you. And

then Cherry is from Highland Park.

Whoa. Oh, don't worry. She's not rich.

After her whole family died, she didn't inherit anything.

Life insurance system is so broken, you know what I mean?

After her entire family died?

Well, yeah.

Apple and Cherry are part of an elite dead dad's club.

Me too.

FOMO!

The northern mockingbird.

That's the state bird of Texas.

The northern mockingbird. I can't believe I forgot that one.

Blow me.

Blow me.

I don't really smoke.

It's not smoking, it's praying.

You're a natural, babe.

Welcome to paradise.

Of

the

tree. Winter.

Of the root, summer.

Cherry sober.

Okay. Cool.

Okay, now you see where your fruit comes from and the peak season.

So you would say, of the... Bush!

Spring.

Uh, okay.

Of the... Dirt.

And, uh, Halloween.

It's a vine.

Pumpkins grow on vines.

I looked it up. I googled it. Just to make sure that it was actually also a

fruit vine. Cherry.

You need to be more trusting. That's another unattractive quality we have to

work on.

Sorry.

I just couldn't pass up the opportunity for a good background check.

Y 'all, Halloween is in the fall.

I know.

That's banana.

We finally completed the retail season.

Well, if we agree that a pumpkin is a fruit, because some scientists believe

that it's actually a vegetable. I'm sorry, Cherry. Do you actually fucking

women? What? I thought you were ride or die, babe. I am.

I am both ride and die.

Oh, so are you staying or are you going?

Oh, my God.

The retail cycle is complete.

This is cosmic.

Let's begin the induction.

Okay,

I'm sorry, but what is freaking going on? What do you mean, babes?

Is that blood?

Is it weird that I'm confused?

Right now?

Yeah. Are you guys witches?

What is your definition of a witch?

Um, room six and spells, I guess.

And Nicole Kidman.

Yes. I studied the occult, alchemy, astrology, astral projection.

Where consciousness can exist without our bodies.

Dick has a degree in astrophysics. I'm saving that for grad school.

Our magic isn't some witch talk, rip -off, fluffy bunny bullshit.

To put it simply, our magic is the mundane shit you would have been

executed for in Salem.

Being a witch is being a sister, and we all need sisterhood to survive.

That's why I created Paradise.

You must follow three rules.

Rule one, we follow the shine theory.

Shine theory, faith.

Women illuminate when they surround themselves with other women who shine

they don't do anything to dim their light.

Rule two,

the vindicars.

The demon that derives pleasure from other people's pain and misery.

You must banish vindicars.

And most importantly, rule three.

We only text boys using emojis.

Right, Fig?

Well, Norman's not my boyfriend, so... He better not be.

Ghost milk thigh gaps, rose petal bone caps, truffle oil bitch slap, blood

juice press.

Slap me.

What?

Do it.

No.

Boo.

I really thought you... Oh my

gosh, I'm so sorry.

No worries, babe. That was the last ingredient.

Drink up.

Good girl.

Welcome to confessional.

This is a safe space where we confess our sins to the ultimate femme martyr.

You must address her by her stage name.

Which is?

Marilyn.

Monroe.

Duh.

No man could control her, not even the president.

And we honor that sacrifice.

Am I supposed to look in the...

Here? Yeah, babe.

Uh, wait, but I just, I don't, I don't have anything to confess, so.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

I guess it's kind of cool to finally have some female friends.

I just... I don't know if I buy all of this.

The whole girl supporting girl thing.

Paradise.

The shine theory.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I wish it was real, but...

I guess sisterhood just doesn't come naturally to me.

And look, I tried to be the girl with the matching friendship tattoos and

the burning sage, but it didn't really work.

All I was left with was, you know, a weird heart on my

knuckle and a hamster with asthma.

I mean, maybe she's not, but maybe she could finally teach me how.

Hey, Mom.

Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, I'm okay.

I'm having a slumber party tonight.

Yeah, it's her.

I don't know, but I'm going to find out.

Good morning, shoppers. The mall stores will open in 30 minutes.

Our latte's gonna get cold.

Do you smell that?

Yeah. Smells like puppies breath and cinnamon sticks.

Is someone wearing the

Mojave body mist?

Yeah.

I'm wearing it.

Head down, hoops on, bottoms up, coffee drunk.

32, cow high, brother, you know we don't give a...

You are

so Andy Sachs right now.

I got you a pumpkin spice latte.

Coffee makes me bomb.

Miranda Priestly would totally take you to Paris.

You might be ready for your trial set.

I'm not already hired.

Oh, no, Sharon has to approve of it.

Who is Sharon?

The manager.

I know.

What did he look like?

Like a critter. Oh, okay.

Perf. You could take this one, pumpkin.

Hi.

Anything I can help you with today?

What do girls like?

Hey, Belinda, stop chasing Mackenzie.

Sorry, I'm a bit of a man.

Oh, don't. I know it. I used to put my dad through all sorts of shenanigans.

But... You know, don't worry.

They'll always be daddy's little girls at heart.

I know. I still am.

Um, so what can I help you with?

Uh, baby.

Momfluencer.

Oh, my God.

Do you have sand in your ass crack? Because you weren't giving.

Beach, babe.

Where is your tan from?

Oh, we were just saying I have sand.

But I'm not sure if it's big enough because I want it to block both my face.

And my baby. That is so thoughtful of you.

I honestly think if I had a kid, I would never think of them.

Oh, my God. What is her name?

Oh, it's a boy.

Sorry.

You just need a little fabric, sweetie. Just a little.

Oh!

We have a baby over here.

Galveston, Virgin Mary, holy being.

Are you a poet?

No, I'm a witch.

You conjure confidence here at Freedon, babe.

You look amazing.

Gorge.

Wow.

Baby!

He was so sweet.

Makes me really miss my dad.

What, because he bought them stuff? He's a good guy?

They probably caught him with his mistress or something. It's called a

present. You don't know that.

Men are two -faced pumpkins, come on.

What was that? Nothing.

Code Dill. I repeat, Code Dill.

Go upstairs.

Don't engage.

Do y 'all know her? Copy. Code Dill.

Vindicaar. Apple.

In my office.

Yes.

Reporting another incident.

Apple, this cannot happen again with the new girl. It won't.

It's going to feel true.

You have so much potential, pumpkin.

I see so much of myself in you.

You know, when I was a sales girl, not yet a saleswoman, I had a knack for

making something out of nothing.

Even when I was a tiny little apple, I had a green thumb.

I made my own paradise out of playground, dollhouse, and

oversized Costco boxes.

Because I had to.

I had to what? Survive.

Women who don't have a garden won't grow.

What does that one bitch say?

A room of one's own.

Virginia Woolf.

No, that doesn't sound right.

Anyways.

We have to create spaces for ourselves.

Rip out the weeds.

Throw out the snakes.

There's always work to be done to protect your garden.

We can do it together. Are you looking to buy? Yeah, if I can find it.

Look at what we already accomplished today.

When we met, I felt this connection.

Like blood.

You did, did you?

Which is why I'm happy to say you're hired, babe.

Yeah. Yeah.

Where the fuck is the pumpkin charm?

Thank you so much. I could have used that about ten minutes ago.

Jane is the ultimate girl boss.

She really does it all.

I wish I could hold down that many jobs.

OMG, pumpkin.

Jane does detective is my favorite. Look at her little tacky trench.

You shouldn't have.

I mean, well, you needed a talisman and she is the ultimate girl boss.

So true.

My talisman is Shirley Taylor.

The dead child actor? No, no. My nine -year -old Scottish fold. It's the same

kind of cat that Taylor Swift has. A lot of people thought that she discovered

Ed Sheeran, but she didn't. We should name her Marilyn.

Oh, no, no, no. I think she should be part of the group.

You should do the honors of unpacking them.

Oh, Apple!

I had dips on the stilettos. Oh, are you literally an infant?

No?

Do you think pumpkin is Apple's mini -me?

Why does she like her so much?

Keep your enemies close.

Hi. Hey. What are you guys doing? Love your hair.

Happy winter solstice.

Fall is over.

Pumpkin has completed her retail cycle.

So we celebrate her first month with us. And welcome.

The birth of the sun.

Thanks.

Open up.

sequins. It's a placebo, babe.

This is just what paradise feels like.

Hi.

What is that? That's my planner.

Apple has me on a strict schedule.

You know, for, like, my mental health.

You know what?

On Wednesdays, I have therapy.

I need somebody to cover for me.

If you're lucky, that could be you.

So, um, Apple has a calendar for you?

That's kind of controlling.

Apple helped me get sober.

And not, like, sad sober. Like, fun, hot sober.

And she's helping me with a lot of... You know what?

I shouldn't dumb -truck my issues on you.

We're working on that, too.

I have a really bad case of main character syndrome.

Guys, come dance with me. Okay.

Confessional for you tonight, Fig.

What?

Cherry said you ditched her to meet Norman.

No, I didn't.

Stop. We have proof.

We had plans to walk wistfully through the parking lot at sunset.

I have to walk wistfully by myself.

Okay.

Forgive me, Marilyn.

For... I want to build an Ikea couch with Norman.

I want to talk to him in words, not emojis.

It's my mother's dream come true.

She always wanted me to be a part of someone else's toolbox.

and put away.

I watched my mother love someone entirely and give up on herself.

I got piercings so I wouldn't give up on myself.

Got a physics degree so I wouldn't give up on myself.

I allowed myself to find peace and freedom.

in paradise, so I wouldn't give up on myself.

And I still feel alone.

And then I met him.

And he complimented me on my music taste, and my piercings, and he told me

his name was Norman, and Marilyn, you know that Psycho is my favorite movie.

He just wants me around.

But now I feel flitted too.

And I am terrified that I am going to get the same haircut as my mother.

Is she happy?

I want to text that.

Cole, I'm glad you changed.

Did you lock your car this time?

Yeah, I think so.

You parked right there.

Oh, I parked right there.

Bye. Good night.

Bye, pumpkin.

Bye. I love you. I love you so much.

Oh,

it is cold.

Hi,

Mom.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I missed your call.

Yeah, I'll pick up Betty Crocker on the way home.

Yeah, I'm being safe.

I don't know yet, but I think I can crack the other two to find out.

She can ring you up right now. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure.

Are you... Don't you want to make the sale?

No, no.

It's not for me to tell. Oh, right.

Yes. Yeah. Therapy.

It's Wednesday.

Yeah. Have fun.

I forgot something.

I wanted to make sure that you ate.

That's so sweet.

Um, I ate.

Shit, I, uh, I gotta go.

He's gotta go.

I bet I burnt the, uh, snaker doodles.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, give me a sec.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?

Um, I'm a virgin.

Really? Yeah.

That's so adorable.

You know what?

I've been thinking.

You could be my new mini -me.

Um, mini -me? Yeah, we could get matching tattoos.

Look,

please don't tell Apple about this.

Um, why?

I just have enough unattractive qualities.

What, so Apple doesn't like sex?

No, Apple doesn't like when I have sex on Wednesdays.

But you always have sex on Wednesdays.

What?

Well, isn't today Wednesday?

You know what? Free pass if you weren't Tuesday, right?

You know, the schedule's actually kind of nice.

Because, um, Pete is trying to make sure I stay sober and I don't get dick

whipped.

Right, but what's wrong with Dick?

I mean, she's like this with Fig, too, right?

Apple means well.

She just... She had bad experiences growing up with her dad.

You know, the way he treated her mom and her.

Basically abandoned them.

It's not my story to tell.

But he sucks.

R .I .P.

Or not.

All right?

Something. Not pee. Are y 'all stealing?

Because if you're stealing, there's cameras around here, y 'all. No, we're

stealing.

Hey, listen.

I will not tell Apple Cherry.

I mean, Mini -Me wouldn't do that, right?

Pumpkin!

Okay, and I won't tell her that you're a virgin, because she also hates virgins.

No.

Hey. Hello.

Hi. Hi.

Hey.

Oh, I, um... Oh, my God.

That's so nice. Yeah, I... You're so sweet. I don't know, I mean, okay, yeah.

Oh, my God, I have the best mini -me ever.

Really? Yes.

Wow. What are you reading?

Um, uh, you know.

Okay.

Isn't that a big thing?

Well, you know, I want to get to know all of you. But, I mean, okay, hold on.

Wait a second. There's some good stuff in here.

Thank you for covering me, Pumps.

Hey, Sharon, can you cover me at the register for a sec? I gotta go drop the

kids off at the pool. Okay, thank you. Bye.

Hi.

Babe, you know I love to dip.

Thumbs up emoji.

Um,

uh, beat emoji?

Boy and girl kissing emoji.

Red heart emoji.

And a red question emoji.

Norman, no one's watching me here. You can just verbally ask me what you want

ask me. Would you be my girlfriend?

Huh?

What do you think?

Yes. What?

I said yes.

She said yes, everyone!

And that's not even the best part. How could it get any better?

I got us tickets to see Ed Sheeran. No! Yes! No! Yes!

This is something for you.

What's up?

Wait.

I thought I left the... Spooky ringtone, babe.

What do you want?

I just came to bring you your phone.

I really can't move.

It is very hard for me to make friends, just like the great horned owl.

Really? I feel like you're more of a rosy -faced lovebird.

Super social and kind.

You've learned about birds from me?

The northern mockingbird can sing up to 200 different songs and sounds from

other insects and amphibians.

Okay.

Have you ever seen Psycho?

No. Ew. Hate horror movies.

Okay.

Well, Norman was named after Norman Bates because he's such a mama's boy.

That's so cute.

I know. He's so loving. He's my favorite boy in the whole wide world, Pumpkin.

Please do not tell them and take that away from me. Oh, no. That's not what

trying to do. Carrie and Apple will not understand.

I think Carrie will understand. She's fucking all of the food court on

Wednesdays. What?

She's not allowed to have sex on Wednesdays.

Yeah, I just, I don't understand all of these secrets. And why are you so

afraid? Baffled. We can't let history repeat itself.

Fig, you're not making any sense right now. And we're in a little bit of a

pickle here. Oh, my God. Do you know her name?

What?

Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit.

Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle

fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit.

Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle

fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit.

isn't a fruit. Pickle isn't a fruit.

Pickle isn't a fruit.

Pickle was the perfect boho babe.

Sun -kissed blonde hair, zero daddy issues, and effortlessly for Gina

Apple immediately knew she found her mini -me.

It's a guttural feeling, kind of like finding a soulmate, you know?

They were as glued together as Pickle's glitter -fake lashes.

We all loved her.

We were like the four elements, living in complete harmony.

But then, then Pickle met Ashton.

Ashton was Avril Skater boy hot. I want to be bad boy.

And it rubbed off on Pickle. She even started wearing mini Ugg boots to rebel

against the free eating dress code.

It got nasty fat.

Apple was furious.

After Pickle skipped her third paradise, because obviously Ashton was more

important, Apple told us we were going to try something fucking lit.

A hex.

Stop. You didn't tell us against who.

Just that they deserved it.

What you have done to me, let it rebound on you tenfold.

I curse your ugliness and cruelty.

I condemn you, Snake.

I condemn you, Snake.

I condemn you, Snake. I condemn you, Snake.

Next thing we knew, Ashton was in a coma.

Like some Grey's Anatomy type shit.

They think someone at Free Eden poisoned him, but no one knew who.

And Pickle, he lost it.

Okay, wait.

Poisoned?

With what?

Tyler, oh my god, this is a private conversation. Get out!

Girl, I don't know. I'm not his next of kin. All I can tell you is that the

police got involved and Pickle was committed to a hospital.

For how long?

A while.

And that's when corporate brought in Sharon.

Why? I don't know. They thought that Free Eden could become a toxic workplace

something and they wanted someone to oversee us, which we don't need because

we're obviously women supporting other women. That's why Apple hates her,

because she's not supporting us.

Not really, anyway.

I can't let anything happen to Norman.

What do you mean?

Whatever that hex was, what we did was dangerous, babe.

Mom?

Wait!

No, wait, wait, wait!

Ron,

what happened to you? She's dangerous.

She hurt someone she loved.

She hurts someone she loves.

She hurts someone she loves.

She hurts someone she loves.

No.

Sharon?

In the break room.

Hey Sharon, can I talk to you for a sec?

Yeah, come on in.

I need to show you something.

What is it?

I had a strange premonition.

Sorry Sharon, I folded them.

Who taught you how to fold those?

Don't worry, I'll come with you on this one. It's like the fourth time that

she's called you in this week.

Yeah, and she only ever calls an apple because Apple's always getting in

trouble.

Yeah, I can talk to her alone. It's fine. I will teach her how to fold Chino

pants from now on. Don't worry about Sharon, babe. Come.

Chino pants are a very awkward name.

Hey guys, I talked to Sharon and everything's... Change into this, babe.

You look like you've seen someone wearing white after Labor Day.

A snake is attempting to enter our garden, ladies.

Sharon may be plotting to fire a pumpkin.

We must protect our crops.

By any means necessary.

Dude, come on.

Yeah, maybe we could just do some cute dark magic. Like... The spill for

dandruff? No.

Stop fucking around.

I don't hate Sharon.

What are you even talking about, Pumpkin?

We don't know what Sharon is capable of. She could destroy us.

And that is why we need to do this hex.

Sharon is a snake. She's always been a snake. And you know how we handle snakes

in our garden.

Like... how you handled Ashton and Pickle?

What did you say?

Who told her?

Do we have another snake amongst us?

We all did that, Hex, including Pickle.

And we went into it agreeing that whoever deserved the punishment would

it. We can't do this.

Just be grateful it isn't Norman.

You don't trust me, babe?

I thought I was your PFF.

You are.

What you have done to me, let it rebound on you.

Tenfold. I curse your ugliness and cruelty.

Uh, hello?

I condemn you, Snake. I condemn you, Snake. I condemn you, Snake.

Babe, you have to join in order for it to work. We're literally doing this for

you.

I condemn you.

Hey,

Pom.

I got you some Lickin' Courage.

How many times do I have to tell you I don't drink coffee?

Oh, girl, let's take some matcha latte. I got you.

Oh, um, what are you still doing here?

Apple made us swear to stick around.

Were you talking with Sharon?

Why can't I do anything by myself?

Maybe we all just want to support you.

We're worried about you, you know?

Um, I think, I think the hex backfired.

I mean, never said your hex famous, though. Apple, what if it hit Pickle

instead? What if this is our fault?

Let's get out of here.

Please don't fire Pumpkin.

What are you talking about?

What did you do to Pickle? Why are you accusing me?

All I ever do around here is try to help people.

I am an empath, Sharon. I am trying to make the world a better place.

Do you think you can make the world a better place by getting rid of someone?

What are you talking about?

Are you going to tell corporate?

Tell corporate what?

Pickle, do you feel bad?

Why would I feel bad? I didn't push her.

You didn't?

Did you?

So falling apart.

Not on my watch.

Forgive me, Marilyn, for I have sinned.

Some people in Highland Park think I'm dead.

I've never corrected them.

You know, if your entire family dies in a fire, yes, you sort of die too.

I just miss the ones I loved that died in a house that burned in two minutes

while I was fucking the prom king in a donut shop parking lot.

You know, Shirley Temple found me there, and she told me about the fire, but...

I

don't really feel...

alive anymore.

Except when I'm with Apple.

Men definitely don't think I'm alive.

They just wanna buy me with diamonds.

I think they think it's fun to fuck a ghost.

They don't care about me like Apple does.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

You said that.

Is Apple still my best friend?

I thought I could be her antidote.

That was foolish of me.

She will always be that cartoonish poison apple.

You know, Apple!

Apple has a story that's really interesting.

You know, she poisoned her dad.

How much more interesting can you get?

Good morning, shoppers. Due to severe thunderstorm warnings, some of our store

hours...

Cherry.

Why is Shirley Temple here? She's going to destroy the monochromatic urine

basket. Oh, Shirley Temple is my new mini -me. I'm allergic to cats.

Of course you are.

Everyone, please look at my icing by Ina.

Everyone, please comment on my icing by Ina.

Wow. Oh, my God.

Icing by Ina. Wow.

Wow. It looks really beautiful.

I love cupcake. Okay. Thanks.

I know yesterday was whack, but it's really not my fault because I Googled it

and Mercury was in retrograde, so.

There you go.

Dad, I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. Is it crazy that I walked

without an umbrella? See?

Mercury in retrograde. No.

Bitch, it's tornado season.

Maybe the water could, like, wash away our sins.

What's Shirley Temple doing here?

Uh, Carrie is also having a nervous breakdown.

Pumpkin, I went on a hot girl jog this morning.

Could somebody having a nervous breakdown go on a jog? Pumpkin?

Do you know how hard it is to get a cupcake to look like a pumpkin?

But I got that done.

For you.

Guys, I think we need to talk about... Everyone, please eat your eye by eye,

please.

Thank you.

Swallow your seed.

Sure.

Apple?

What the hell was in my eye -by -eye? What?

What are you talking about? Did you put something in... Don't

touch me. I'm gonna walk you, Sharon. Don't you dare, Finn. I'm sorry, okay?

just a little freaked out. First it was pickle, and now this?

Dude, you know it's bad when the scientist is scared.

Yeah, Apple, could we sidebar for a quick stick?

Not right now. It's actually a 911.

Hey, so, um, did you girlboss again?

What the freak are you talking about?

You know, like with your dad. Stop talking.

Okay, who did this?

I know it wasn't me. I know it wasn't the icing by Ina tick because I caught

blowing the keep calm and cookie on employee.

She's okay with it too.

What do you mean by too? So I have the ultimate blackmail on her.

So who did this?

Wait.

Where were you guys when Pickle jumped?

Where was Pumpkin?

She could have been the snake this whole time.

That's why she's over there, running for mayor of Vomville.

You are so fucking ugly right now, Cherry. I don't care how much rare

mascara you use.

Your insides are on fire.

And I can smell the smoke.

Emergency paradise tonight. What?

No excuses.

Remember, we did this hex to eliminate the snake.

We will find out who they are.

Something's burning deeper than my lungs.

Congrats on Groucho, baby boo.

Sorry, I just...

I don't want them knowing what's going on in my life right now, you know?

Oh, don't come to Free Eden tonight, okay?

I'm going to meet you at Ed Sheeran.

Copy, Apple. I'm running upstairs.

It's not safe here.

As

we

all know,

Marilyn Monroe was murdered by the United States government on August 4th,

After her love affair with our John F. Kennedy, she knew too much.

They underestimated her due to her beauty and her perfectly placed mole.

She needed to be eliminated. A feminine sacrifice.

Open this.

We cannot let her death be in vain.

Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hit it with my... So our question remains...

Who is

RJFK?

Is it you, Fig?

Are you RJFK?

Is it you, Terrence?

Are you our handsome president?

The ultimate traitor?

Somebody fucking say something!

Fine.

I didn't want it to come to this, but in order for the truth to be revealed, for

Marilyn to truly speak to us...

We must do a sacrifice.

It is the only way to save Paradise.

We must offer up...

Shirley

Temple.

Apple! What the fuck?

You know she's all I have left. Have you ever killed something before, Apple?

Does it just mean nothing to you? No.

No, it's just he's my family.

Enough!

Enough!

I am so fucking done with this coven.

Is this a coven?

I only took this job because I wanted to wear floral lingerie as a summer dress

and because I was trying to save money so that I could submit applications for

grad school. But guess what, motherfuckers? I got in.

I'm done.

This shit has been killing me.

Yeah, but you don't have to leave. Because you're not the snake.

You're not John F. Kennedy.

Apple.

I'm the one who told Pumpkin about Pickle.

And I'm glad that I did. Because look at what happened. Why won't anybody talk

about what happened?

She died.

I washed her brain matter out of my fishnet. Yeah, but you can't leave.

If you leave, we can't finish the retail season cycle.

Cherry, you are a lip glossed shell.

Can't you see that she is poisoned?

Emily.

Norman, what are you doing here? I told you I would meet you at Ed.

You said you weren't safe. I came to see you. What's going on? Fig.

Why is he calling you?

Emily?

Yeah. Is your name fucking Emily?

Yes. My name is Emily. My name is fucking Emily.

It is mind -boggling to me that you are all named after quirky fruit. I mean,

who in the fresh hell names their baby Fig?

It's the cult.

I am in love with Norman, and I want to speak to him in words, not emojis.

Apple, he's the snake.

Take me to Ed Sheeran, baby.

He's the snake.

Nice to meet you.

You had to see me like that, Marilyn.

Recording?

Pumpkin, I need to talk to you.

It's to see.

What was that?

Oh, my God.

What? Tornado warning in Dallas County.

There's a tornado warning? Yes, in effect all night.

Oh.

What are you doing?

Shirley Temple gets triggered by natural disasters.

Fire, air, water, pretty much all the elements. I should go get her. Leave the

cat. What are you doing? I'm calling my mom.

Cell phone towers go down around here when tornadoes hit.

Electricity might too.

Did you know that this was a camera?

It's gonna be bad, right? Cherry, Pumpkin and I need to talk. No, no, no.

to go home because my mom is alone and we have a closet we hide in during

tornadoes. And leave us both for dead?

She doesn't have a home. She lives in her car. Enough!

That's the sound of the storm gates closing, so you won't be able to get

No. No, I am gonna find one.

And I'll come back for y 'all.

Okay? I promise.

I promise.

fucking goosey with those lips lately, Cherry. What the fuck is your problem?

I'm just going to get... Are you mad at me?

Yeah, you stabbed Norman in the cheek with a meat cleaver, so... I tripped.

Tripped?

It is so fucking exhausting to keep track of the way you manipulate

Are you the main character or are you the fucking victim?

Do you not believe me?

Two, babe?

Are you okay?

No. Call 911.

Okay, okay.

I'm coming. Don't.

Call 911.

Um, um, in the employee manual, there were emergency tunnels pumped in. Be

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Are we still best friends?

You know I don't believe in hierarchy in female relationships.

You didn't answer the question.

What's the first rule of paradise?

Shine theory?

You broke it.

You dimmed my fucking glow, girl.

You dimmed all of our glows.

You ruined paradise.

It's over.

You just had to fucking self -destruct. It was inevitable. It's such a fucking

unattractive quality!

Boring.

You're the snake, Apple.

You never helped me for me. You helped me for you.

I never had a drinking problem.

Hiding mini bottles of tequila under cowboy hats is a fucking problem.

It was gin.

And this is Texas. What else is there to do?

You know what's the saddest thing about you, Apple?

You're so alone. You're like the depths of the ocean. Like those deep, dark

places where only those glow -in -the -dark, creepy creatures live.

I'm alone because my family died.

But you choose to be.

You know nothing about my family. I do.

And I feel sorry for you.

Why do you hurt the people that love you the most?

You can't trust the people who say they love you the most.

That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard.

Well, since we're not best friends anymore, I guess I can be who

I really am.

Boring.

And boring people aren't very good at keeping secrets, are they?

Don't.

Don't?

The world deserves to know who you really are, Apple.

Hey!

What the fuck?

Are you high?

Stop running. I just want to talk.

I thought I found one, but it was just a nickel.

If I had a nickel for every nickel.

Pumpkin, what are you doing?

Nothing.

I got you.

I think it was always meant to be the two of us.

The others were just background noise.

Together we can create something new.

A new paradise?

A new garden.

But this time it will be unbreakable.

Do you know who I am, Apple?

You finally asked.

You're Pumpkin.

From Plano.

Daughter to a widowed overbearing mother.

You're always searching for a missing puzzle piece.

You're always looking for a sister to braid your hair.

Funny timing that I learned I had one.

Right before our dad died.

You didn't know about me?

I've known about you since I was a kid.

I didn't know about you as a kid. They didn't tell me about you till last year.

I thought my dad was too kind to have a mistress.

My mother was his wife.

So was mine.

It's not our fault they married a monster.

A monster?

Dad was my best friend.

We should get out.

Did you do it?

It's not about what I did.

It's about what he did.

To me.

To my mother! To you! He didn't do anything to me. He loved me. He loved

He lied to you!

What kind of a man leaves one family to starve while the other gets a fucking

Thanksgiving feast?

That is the most clever kind of cruelty because it's the kind no one would even

fucking suspect.

He abandoned me, Pumpkin.

He was a bad man.

I have given you everything, sister.

Why won't you choose me?

Because I don't know you.

And I've been trying to figure it out for months.

But paradise isn't real, Apple.

So just... help me?

Who are you?

Sister to sister.

Oh my god.

You're the snake.

What?

Sister to sister?

You've been spying on me, cuntass!

You set me up.

That cupcake didn't make you fucking sick.

You took a sip of my latte. Coffee makes you bomb.

Snake.

Just admit what you did to Dad. Please, please.

Just tell me. For me, I need to know, Apple. You did this to yourself,

You want destruction and you crave chaos.

I'm horrific, but you're a fucking tornado.

And none of this would have happened if you hadn't shown up.

Well, you're a terrible fucking friend and an even worse sister.

You're just fucking like them!

You know what? I am!

And I am nothing like you!

Pumpkin.

Daddy's little girl?

Daddy's little angel?

He poisoned me first.

A childhood full of his venom and a slow fucking death.

Snake poison was how I needed to kill him. I needed to kill him. I needed to

kill him. I needed to kill him.

And you're just like him.

No, you're just like fur. And you're abandoning me for eliminating a monster.

How could she not see? How could she not see me?

I am the antidote. I am Eve.

I am...

Forgive me Marilyn for I have sinned.

After a brutal tornado season for the South, a storm struck down at many

in the Dallas Metroplex.

At the Highland Place Mall, the tornado hit its peak.

Okay, pumpkin spice latte for, oh.

Do you want whipped cream with that, ma 'am?

That's the fucking way I do.

Blue Bonnet, your tutti -frutti dragon fruit drink?

Or Chrysanthemum, passion fruit lemonade?

Caramel black tea.

Oh! Your cake pop!

Thanks.

I'm such a grump when I don't have my cream dream cake pop.

Oh my god, babe.

I'm completely obsessed with your bracelet.

Flowers!

Look at this.

Are you looking for a job, babe?

Thank you.

Ma 'am, you can't be here. Ma 'am? Ooh.

Sharon Sullivan, Dallas PD Homicide Unit.

Been here all day.

I didn't think she'd kill her own sister.

Wait, what?

Oh, I've been undercover on this case for months.

Apple is a suspect in two poisoning cases.

In your right shoe to go. Do you have any idea what the hell happened here?

Well, Pumpkin was spying on her sister, but I never thought that...

Jane.

What the fuck is she doing? Look, look.

These have cameras in the binoculars.

Forensics. Is that the victim's phone?

Thank you.

Come on.

It's connected.

We're going to need backup.

I think we got her.

Do we know where she is?

I can't say for certain, but I have a pretty fucking good idea where to start.