Original subtitles

This programme contains very strong language from the start.

Um, what about lunch? Well, I mean, do you go out?

Is there, um, is there a canteen, or...?

Well, is there a Pret nearby?

CHUCKLES

There's not even a Pret?

Off. Off. Off.

No, no, no. No, Jamie.

Um, no, I'm, I'm not nervous, I just... Well, I don't know,

it's a new job.

HE CHUCKLES

Well, I mean, you're used to that place.

For me, it's... Well, it's,

but it's, um... Well, it's newish. HE CHUCKLES

I'm totally fine. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, um, there is one other thing I wanted to ask.

One...

..should I take any precautions, or...?

is...it's a prison, so...

I suppose I'm just asking - how safe is it?

Yeah, I'll take these.

OK.

Do you want to wear them out?

I can bin these if you want.

No, no, I'm, going on a date

Right.

In these?

Yeah. No, um, bin those.

Ah.

UNDER BREATH: Fuck me.

Is it the same girl that I met?

Yeah, yeah. Jess.

She's nice.

Wow, emotional.

What is it, two months now? It's long-term for you, innit?

Oh, God, look at him. He's doing a shit.

Oh, God, I love that expression.

DAN LAUGHS

Look at it.

Like, the concentration.

How did you get that one, Lee?

Oh, yeah.

That's where the knife came out.

Oh, bloody hell!

It was a father and a son. I owed 'em money.

I remember waking up in this empty industrial kitchen.

of the knife sharpening...

Oh, my God! ..and then I thought, "Fuck."

Dad, he says, "Right, where do you want to get stabbed?"

I'm like, "Well no-fucking-where."

And then he swings

"I said, where do you want to get fucking stabbed?"

I said, "Well, my leg'"

What? You said the leg, then he just fucking...?

Yeah. He shoved it right up to the handle.

No, it weren't too bad at first.

eh, it felt like getting punched.

But then the son, he runs over and he kicks it.

Oh, Jesus! Oh, my God.

I, like, screamed my guts out.

They start panicking, they're shouting

if I don't stop, but I can't.

I physically cannot stop screaming, right?

Like, my face is saying, "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it's mad, innit?"

But my mouth is like, "Argh..."

Then what happened?

And I pass out, and I wake up, crawl and pass out, wake up, crawl.

And then one time I wake up and I'm in hospital.

Don't know how you're still here.

Oh, he's the reason I'm still here - little man.

Absolutely.

Wahey! Yeah.

Does it scare you? Being a dad?

Nah, I'm three years clean, Dan.

No, no, I don't mean that. I mean, you know, our upbringing.

Nah. Way I see it, every generation

You know, me and you, we're ours.

Hmm.

Can I ask YOU something? Mm-hm.

Why'd you get a fucking job in prison?

Well, it's just a job.

Was it cos of me?

No.

Dad? No! Fuck, no.

No.

God, no.

Not seen him for 25 years.

If it was another 25, that'd still be too soon.

Then, why?

Well...

..I don't know.

Do you think I'd be a good dad?

a great dad. Why?

Just wondering.

That is not a good idea.

No, but if I could just, widen the toecap.

See there's...there's, like, a steel bit here.

I'm just going to try and...

..widen.

And. And.

That is going to go horribly wrong.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I think I've bent the cap. Fuck.

Feels like there's a blade in there. Oh.

OK, this would really reflect very well on you right now

to say...

I told you so.

Yeah.

KEYS CLACK

Hello.

Stop. What?

That. I need to finish this.

Yeah, but if you give me sex,

Oh, I think your um, blade-y toecap boots will achieve that, don't you?

Yeah.

You going to go into the office today?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am in the morning.

Um, and then I'm... I'm going

Oh, right.

OK.

Dan, I did tell you.

No, I know you did.

Like, on our first date. It was, it was quite up front.

Yeah, you were. No, I know you were.

You were... I just thought...

Donor, not dad.

I've never met him.

He's, um. He's mid-20s.

Got dark hair. Athletic, apparently.

Oh, an athlete? Oh, nice.

Are you jealous? Of a man I've literally never met?

Yeah, still, I feel like, if I ever

..beat the living shit out of him.

JESS LAUGHS

Hey...

..so what about, like, me?

As the donor.

Jesus Christ. I could be a dad. No, it's some...

I've thought about a lot.

We've known each other for eight weeks!

Well, I've thought about it lots ever since you first mentioned it,

and I...I feel like maybe now...

Maybe now, what?

What, now some woman you've slept with six times is trying to have

a baby, you've decided she's the one? No, not, not THE one...

Oh, NOT the one - just a one?

A one with a reproductive system.

had a baby?

No, I. It's... I just...

Can't we just take some time to think about it?

No!

No, the embryo's at blastocyst.

It's ready to go in, today.

What time's your appointment?

Call in sick, stay here, think about it,

and if we both think it's worth a go, then we can go to

the appointment together. This is not a fucking game. No, I'm not...

first told me about it,

I haven't been able to think of anything else.

And I have wanted to mention it, I just didn't know how.

I didn't know that it was...coming up this quick.

make an amazing mum.

So maybe we could do it together? Try it together?

And if we don't work out, you can just sue me for child support.

SHE TUTS

Now, see, I don't need to sue you

I was joking. Cos I make literally five times your salary.

Yeah, OK. Yeah.

SHE CHUCKLES

I get a little break at lunch today at 12.

Can I call you then?

Mm-hm, yeah.

Midday. I'll call.

Sorry, I have to make quite an important call today at 12.

Well, you're down to finish at 1:45, so...

Oh, right. I can't take my phone in?

OK. Can I come back here?

I'd have to sign you out and back in again.

Look, ask your duty officer during your break.

Maybe they can arrange an escort back.

It is... It is quite an important

BUZZER

I did leave my phone in the locker, didn't I?

I don't know. Did you leave your phone in your locker?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

mess around with that.

A phone past here is automatic prosecution.

Automatic.

Yeah.

No, I did, I did. I put it in. I put it in.

I'm going to check.

BUZZER

WHIRRING

LIVELY CHATTER

What the fuck do you think you're going to do with them?

What are you doing here?

These are men.

They won't get you, boy.

These are fucking men.

Hey. LAUGHS: You coming in or what?!

Yeah.

JAMIE CHUCKLES

UNDER BREATH: Oh, fuck. Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah. Just new shoes.

Oh, you poor love.

Oh, fuck off, Jamie. It hurts.

Yeah. It's going to be fine.

I think they're really going to respond to you.

Now, I don't know how many there'll be.

It could be four, it could be 14 -

it depends what's happening

but I looked over your lesson plan and I think it's really good.

Cool. I took the liberty of jotting some visual aids up here

for you to use.

No no. I want to change it, Jamie.

Make it easier.

OUTSIDE: Quieten down. Free flow!

DOOR UNLOCKS

Psychology?

Um, no. Philosophy.

Er, maybe you could introduce yourselves as you enter?

I already came in, boss. Shall I go out and come back in again?

What we doing?

Introducing ourselves as we enter.

Hi. Zac, where you going?

We've to go out

What? Sorry, no. That's not what I...

Once they're in, please keep them in. Please.

OK. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Junior.

Junior.

No more circus tricks, please.

One...

DOOR LOCKS

So, do we just start, or...?

OK. I, um, would like to begin with a problem

that's been around for a very long time.

Is the you from ten years ago the same you that sits in this room now?

No, cos he ain't in fucking prison.

SCATTERED CHUCKLES

Traditionally there are two schools of thought on this.

There's the Cartesians. Um...

Actually, don't...

Don't worry about what Cartesian means, it just means...

BLOWING NOSE LOUDLY

..of the philosopher Descartes.

Rene Descartes - 1596.

It's soul.

HE SIGHS

makes you you is your soul.

But that is not a... It's not a very satisfactory answer.

Um, what is a soul?

HE YAWNS

Do we even really have a soul?

I do.

And so the other answer...

..is matter.

It's your... How else would I have a relationship with

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?

..body. It's your material,

and that is called materialism.

Um, but bodies change.

entirely every eight years,

and so materialism's no good either, right?

But then, um, Locke comes along and...

John Locke, John Locke.

And his key insight was memory.

Your memory connects...

That's no right.

Excuse me? That is not what Locke said.

John Locke was talking about consciousness. No fucking memory.

Which is a total load of bollocks, if you ask me.

So say ten years ago

And I've got a shitty brief and I get a 14 stretch -

well, according to Locke, the only reason this current me

is in prison is because of some ephemeral thing

called consciousness, which may or may not exist.

from the Cartesians, ya cunt?

Fuck you, Locke.

I'll take materialism all day.

Materialism's real. Materialism earns me my sentence.

That's if I stabbed someone ten years ago.

Which I did.

to use this as a talking stick.

Um, a talking stick is...

We know what a fucking talking stick is.

See, I think we should be looking at Rousseau, all right?

Rousseau tears Locke a new arsehole on this stuff.

that first line?

"Man is born free, yet everywhere he's in chains."

Now that's a fucking subject.

None of this fucking Lockean self-wank over "who am I?" bollocks.

I mean, grow the fuck up, man!

SCATTERED CHUCKLES

Oh, here we go. You want to talk about freedom? Aye.

Ah! Ha-ha! The Odyssey.

Now, there's a story, boys.

So, Odysseus has to cross the Straight of Messina.

terrifying half-bird creatures who

sing a song so beautiful that any man who hears it becomes instantly

drunk with love and swims to them,

where the sirens feast on his flesh.

The sirens are crack.

MUTTERING

To cross, Odysseus orders his men to put wax in their ears,

and he gets them to tie him to the mast

so that he can say when it's safe.

They set sail.

Odysseus hears the song and it reaches into his heart.

but the crew carry on.

All except one man, who sees the longing in Odysseus

and aches to know what it feels like.

The man takes his wax out, jumps overboard and is devoured alive.

So, there's the men with wax

and there's the man who jumped.

Who is the most free?

The men with wax in their ears.

Why?

Cos they just got on with it.

It's like us, right?

I've got freedoms that people on the out haven't.

don't have to go shopping,

don't even have to find a dentist.

I'm totally free of choice.

But doesn't your lack of choice mean that you're NOT free?

Two weeks ago, there was a lockdown.

23 hours a day bang-up,

Know what I did with my hour?

Stayed in me pad, sat on me bunk and read.

Jesus. Because I could. That's depressing, man.

I'm not like yous, always clowning around.

The jizz crusts clinging to your wall?

LAUGHTER

I focus on my daughter.

Hmm? I focus on being a dad.

Every day, I write her a letter.

One letter, every single day.

got a da that loves her.

Yeah, that's nice, Wallace, but you got to engage, man.

Freedom isn't hiding.

OK. So, Junior, right? Who do you think is the most free?

Odysseus.

He's the king.

but to do what he says, yeah.

Them man with the wax in their ears, they're just foot soldiers.

Hear me? You have to rise and excel.

I agree with that, yeah.

Life's about being something, not waiting.

you don't know what life's about.

Yet. I'm not a dad, yet.

21-week scan.

My son.

Huh? I do know what life's about.

Junior borrowed me some of his business books.

Fucking amazing!

Free your mind, free your circumstance,

then - free the cash.

Malik, though, that foetus is on the outside and you're in here.

For now.

My brief says I've got a very good chance of overturning sentencing.

I'll be holding my boy as he takes

his first breath and, right there and then, I'ma write him a cheque

for £10 million to be cashed on his tenth birthday.

You haven't got a cheque book.

All right,

Yeah, one could look at it from

a neuroscientific perspective, you know. Quantum mechanics.

Zac, who do you think is most free?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on. I've got the talking fucking bag.

Sorry. Zac.

JUNIOR: Yeah, but he was under a spell, Zac.

ZAC: Yeah, which he chose to give in to.

See, all the rest have either got wax in their ears or they're tied

to their sticks, yeah?

The jumper takes one look at the beautiful bird-women

and he says, "Fuck the consequence, I want that."

So, in that moment, he is free.

It's no wonder you're in a cell.

You're in a fucking cell

You ain't better than me.

He can't even decide what his addiction is.

What is it, meth? The crack? Or women?

It's cracks of women.

And crack.

THEY LAUGH

You madman!

remote learning course

on environmental construction.

Environmental...? Construction.

Me little girl, she did a paper for her exams all about

how to build in sustainable ways.

Got the paper up on me wall.

she is.

When I get out, I'm going to help her.

You wouldn't believe the things you can do with straw these days.

HE SNICKERS

And you. You chat about loving rock, hmm? About loving pussy?

that a da for his daughter.

Yeah, man. We all got fucking daughters.

Fatherhood, that's real freedom.

But it's no fucking joke.

KEITH: Can you go into Tesco's and get a meal deal?

need Bitcoin to spend £3, mate.

How do you know you've really got it, then?

How do you know you've got the money in your account right now?

It's all digital. Yeah, but how do you do it with Bitcoin, then?

ZAC: Boss, how long's this break going to last?

You got to think Solana, you got to think Ethereum, yeah. It lasts as

long as it lasts. You need multiple

can get you each a Rolex in the next six months. Guaranteed.

Where's your Rolex, then?

It's waiting for me on the other side of endeavour.

Christ. I think I just threw up in my mouth.

There's been an incident.

What, erm, sorry, what kind of incident?

Some idiot got served his divorce papers so he's jumped on the net.

We've got to wait for the tornado team.

OK, but I... I have to make

Oh, wow.

Well, why didn't you say?

An idiot on the net shuts us down.

Look, I'm sorry, it's really important.

Wait here.

So what's it for? Philosophy?

Oh, well, philosophy is,

No, but what can you do with it? What job do you have?

Well, this one.

KEITH: I want to get change.

JUNIOR: So this money's in the cloud...

So who do you think is most free,

None of them.

That's why it's called free-dumb.

Only an idiot would believe in freedom.

OFFICER: Well? Are you coming?

Yes. Thank you.

LOUD VOICES

I'm free!

You cancelled my visit.

Get me wife on the phone!

Make this quick, yeah?

If the tornado team gets antsy, you won't be able to get back in.

HE SIGHS

What you doing?

Sorry, the, um, the...

They just called through.

They're closing the landing.

You have to get back in there now.

Hi, it's Jess, leave a message.

Hey, Jess. It's me. It's Dan.

Look, I'm sorry that I didn't get to call earlier, there was...

Look, I've, erm... I've got to go back in now. But, um...

..don't do it. The implantation.

Please. Call them up and cancel it and do it with me instead. OK?

I'll meet you there at 3:15 and I'll do tests

the process together.

OK, I know this sounds mad.

But I...

I don't know, I mean this. I'm serious about it.

OK.

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

What you doing?

BUZZER

Yeah.

ALARM BLARES

VOICES APPROACH

Yes, Dan.

All right. KEITH: Oh, you came back?

Round two, here we go.

DOOR CLOSES, LOCK CLICKS

DAN CLEARS HIS THROAT

for giving fire to humans,

so he gave a beautiful box to his wife, Pandora.

She opened it and seven evils flew out.

Hatred, shame, greed, boredom,

laziness, delusion...and pain.

Pandora opened it once again,

and hope...

..flew out.

If you could put one evil back in the box, what would it be?

Hope. Fuck the evils!

Put hope back in the box.

You all right, Malik?

Just called my brief.

I lost my right to appeal.

What? How?

They didn't submit the paperwork on time.

But the date it had to be in by was 8/5/25.

8th of May.

her new assistant's American.

These pricks read dates backwards or something. Oh!

What's 8/5/25 in American, then?

5th of August.

Too late. The appeal's dead.

What, that's just it?

That's not fair. Fair? We are the dross.

Dan, that shit is standard.

I had like 12 minutes with my brief before we go in, yeah.

He says my name wrong three times.

Mine went into the wrong courtroom.

to...fucking kill someone, you know?

Like I just want to like beat someone's fucking, fucking face in.

Last year, I had, um... I had a parole hearing.

And I'd done everything right.

Was on every programme,

model con, I was.

It took six minutes.

"Nope."

So I went on hunger strike.

My hope was dead, see?

Then, after a couple of days, two kids on my landing,

they noticed I hadn't eaten,

And I started hoping again.

There's too many decent people around to not hope.

CHAIR CLATTERS

Sit down. Malik. You're still going to be a dad, OK?

They can't take that from you.

Yeah? They did fucking take it from me!

Sanitised.

You've sanitised it.

It reeks of Dettol, Dan, and you know it.

That is not the myth of Pandora.

I'm not sure this is

The earliest, most accepted version of the myth of Pandora

is found in Hesiod, who tells us it's Prometheus who steals fire.

Not Epimetheus.

Look, I really don't think that... And it's not what Pandora releases

it's Pandora herself.

Pandora is the first woman fashioned of clay by the gods.

WALLACE: Clay's actually a very sustainable building material.

What the fuck has that got to do with anything?

is that Pandora

is made of the self-same clay that the jar is made of.

What jar? The jar with the spirits in.

You said they were in a box. Were they fuck in a box!

Right, well, no,

but people commonly refer to it as, as...

Boss, if it's a jar, just say it's a jar.

The vessel doesn't matter, Junior. It's what's inside that counts.

Only, the vessel does matter, though, doesn't it, Dan?

and a box is not.

WALLACE: Very low on carbon emissions, as well, clay.

Trounces concrete.

It ain't that kind of clay, Wallace!

Dan is deliberately choosing to sell us the false version.

Why am I doing that, Keith?

Because of what the myth is really saying.

The jar and Pandora are one and the same, ergo it says woman

is the cause of all man's ills.

OK, you think I'm scared

I think you've been inculcated by the mores of the current

political clime and, all due respect, I think you're a coward.

You don't know anything about me.

Your fucking hair tells me all I need to know about you, pal.

OK, all right.

So you think that woman are responsible for the ills of society?

Well, take a look at these boys here, hmm?

Do you think any of them's inside because they weren't on some level

trying to impress a girl?

Did you not get the memo, Daniel?

We're all toxic.

We're a gender in retreat and we in here, the most mannish of men,

we're the sharp end - our relevance evaporating whilst

we shank each other in the showers.

talking about spirits and ghosties?

I mean, you're wanking while Rome burns, man.

You're fucking killing us!

What me, personally, or...?

Well, I don't blame women. They're taking what's theirs.

With your oat milks and your moisturised elbows,

waxing your arseholes, keeping your balls all nice and shiny.

CHUCKLING

You deny your masculinity. You're terrified of it.

Tell me, Dan - do you cover your

Look, OK. All right. Look, Keith, have I said something to upset you?

You are rippling with shame, man!

Appalled by that undeniable hard-wired instinct deep within

your soul that just wants you to roll around

Now we are talking!

OK, you want to talk about women? OK.

In ancient Greece, women couldn't vote, they couldn't own land,

they couldn't inherit, they could legally be murdered for infidelity.

to create a myth blaming them

for all the world's ills. And that society is where ours comes from.

So, yeah, Keith, undoing that, I'm all for it.

Oh, lovely, Daniel. What a wonderful human being you are.

Turns out he's an expert on Greek society,

yet he can't remember that a box is a fucking jar!

You wanted a debate about women.

No, no, no, no. You did.

You're the one who brought in

What are you trying to force on us here, hmm?

The future has a vaginal tint?

We should all go and fucking kill ourselves, is that it?

Cos that's all I hear these days.

"Don't be you.

"Don't be you.

"..don't be you."

Well, what the fuck should I be?!

Eh?

Women have got us on the ropes, and good luck to them, they deserve it.

But you see, when I get a battering, I punch back.

properties as well, clay.

Excellent. And, of course, the thing about insulation...

This ain't about your fucking daughter, Wallace!

Aye, it is! He's talking shit about women, what the fuck

going to grow into?

Grow into? She's already a grown-arse woman.

That's what she already is! She's already a grown-arse woman.

We all know that! "Little girl."

She hasn't been a little girl in years.

up on your wall, yeah?

It's been up there for donkeys.

A tatty fucking thing it is, yeah.

You write every day, big man, yeah?

He's writing to his little girl. Okay, um...

You write it, she don't read it.

she sent you anything back.

What is she, like 25 now? 28?

She wrote that for her fucking GSCEs, Wallace!

She's forgot about that crap now!

Just like she forgot about you rotting here.

What? Don't you fucking dare!

Argh!

Fuckin' hell, man! Fucking...!

Argh!

Your boot's leaking, boss.

Is that blood? Is that blood?!

Is that blood?!

It's your blood, Daniel.

Are you serious? Yeah.

I can see the bone.

Oh, you're going to need stitches.

Oh, my God! Hmm.

OK, look, I, um, I need to be somewhere.

AandE's where you need to be.

All right, circus is over.

Come on, the rest of you, back to your cells.

KEITH: Well, I have to say, I really enjoyed that.

Same time next week.

Box is another word for fanny.

Pandora's fanny.

play into the whole female thing.

Come on, lads, let's have you.

What's the right answer?

Which one of the spirits go back in the box?

Come on. There isn't a right answer.

Then what's the point

AND SIGHS

OFFICER CHUCKLES

Look, I do... I do really need to be somewhere.

You need stitches. I'm checking you out, then I'm taking you to AandE.

Is that the boss' new boyfriend?!

No, I cannot just patch it up.

WOLF WHISTLE

All right, hang on a minute, wait. Just...just hold on. I, um...

OK, I need to be at an IVF clinic.

It's to donate semen. I think.

You think? Yeah.

I need... I need to make a phone call, and then...

I don't know. Oh, fucking hell, I don't know.

I'll tell you what, I'll take you to your phone.

You make the call, hmm?

If you need to be at the clinic,

Once you've flung it out, then I'll take you to AandE.

Then a psychiatrist.

Then a fucking life coach or something, I don't know.

Son.

Dad, Daddy, Dad!

Aw, I've missed you!

LINE RINGS

Hey, look, I'm really sorry that we...

..that we didn't get to speak.

It's, um...

It's been a bit mad, to be honest.

It's OK.

No, honestly, Jess, I'm...

I'm really sorry.

No. It's not. That's not what I'm apologising for.

I, um...

I don't think I can be a dad.

I'm sorry.

I'm not ready.

You're not ready?

Yeah, um...

Jess?

You said to cancel the implantation.

You know they don't just put it back in the freezer, right? Oh, fuck me.

You know cancelling is destroying?

Yeah. Look, um...

Jess, I'm so sorry. I really haven't

I just think... I think that, um...

I think that maybe you're right. You know, maybe it's got

something to do with my brother or something like that, you know?

Um... Yeah.

Jess, I'm so sorry.

SHE SCOFFS

I had the implantation.

What?

Yeah, there was a cancellation.

They called and said, if I was in by ten, I could have the slot.

It was all done and dusted by 10:20.

The athlete's...?

It's not his, Dan - it's mine.

Can I just ask...

..why didn't you want me?

It's not that I don't want you.

It's that I don't need you.

LINE BEEPS

You coming?

and I'm cutting open that other foot. You hear me?

Thanks for being with me here today.

I really, I really appreciate you doing this.

It's all right. I mean, I couldn't let you come here alone.

that's very kind...

No, no, I mean I COULDN'T let you come here alone.

I'm not allowed to.

You bled in the prison, I was the officer on scene,

it's my name on the accident report.

Sorry you're not going to be a dad.

My dad was a nightmare.

I probably shouldn't pass that on.

Nightmare how?

A lot of time in prison, for one.

Really?! Mm.

So how comes you're like...

..this?

Well, my mum left him when I was nine,

she re-married and...

..I got away from him. Y'know, I got out.

Ended up doing this.

You were totally shit today.

You got the men all riled up,

see and then you bled on the floor.

I mean, you actually bled on the floor.

But they liked what you did.

They liked the lesson.

They can't say that they did, but...

..they did.

Next time, just wear trainers.

Do you still see your dad now?

No.

No, I don't see him any more.