Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,746
Hello, mia.
2
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,386
Would you like
To come in?
3
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,090
It's over.
4
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,329
I'm not pregnant.
5
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,702
( theme music playing )
6
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,088
I'm not feeling well.
7
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:57,191
I really should've
Stayed home.
8
00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:00,027
I called in
Sick at work.
That's a first.
9
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:03,497
And-- what did
Your doctor say?
10
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,400
I'll live.
11
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,605
Di-- did he say
Anything else?
12
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,641
I'm so tired.
13
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,010
I want to go
Back to bed.
14
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,780
I'm not up
For a whole session.
15
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,118
Well, why don't
We just start
16
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,821
And then we'll see how it--
How it goes?
17
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,025
I'd rather
Stay here for now.
18
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,662
Can I get you
A glass of water?
19
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,964
Maybe some tea?
20
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,433
Mmm, that's
Very nice,
21
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,669
But I'm fine.
22
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,774
That's what you kept
Saying last week--
"I'm fine."
23
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:49,243
( chuckles )
24
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,953
How have you been?
25
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,456
Fine.
26
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,430
Would you like
To tell me what happened?
27
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,098
There's not
Much to tell.
28
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,634
I went to work
On friday...
29
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,806
Started bleeding.
30
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,175
I went home...
31
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,578
And it didn't stop.
32
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,649
End of story.
33
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:32,686
So, emotionally,
34
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,922
How are you?
35
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,491
( sighs )
I'm kind of numb.
36
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,694
It feels better
That way.
37
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,596
I understand.
38
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:46,367
I thought that I was
Gonna be a parent
39
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:50,170
And now I know
I'm not.
40
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,341
I'm really sorry, mia.
41
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,744
I just felt transformed
For a couple of weeks.
42
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:02,716
Like I had
A real... Purpose.
43
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,219
And I was
A different--
44
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,255
A different me.
45
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:10,123
You know,
A woman has a baby
46
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,326
And people stop
Asking questions:
47
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,795
"What's wrong with her?"
48
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,965
Or "She's so ambitious."
49
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,270
Or "Pathetic"
Or "Strange."
50
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:25,839
It's easy then--
She's a mother.
51
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:29,710
It answers
All the questions.
52
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,045
It seems
To me that you had
A lot of questions
53
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,382
Yourself last week.
54
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,284
( sighs )
Okay, maybe I melted
Down a little,
55
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,519
But I still wanted
To have the baby.
56
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,292
The stupid thing is
I can smoke now
57
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,060
- and I don't even
Want to.
- hmm.
58
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,797
So maybe you have
Changed a little.
59
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,499
Mmm, nice try.
60
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:55,102
You know, mia,
There's other ways
To be a parent
61
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,406
If that's what
You really want.
62
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:02,209
You mean compete
With some young
Suburban couple
63
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,977
For some pregnant
Teen's baby?
64
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,680
( sighs )
I can't imagine picking
65
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,883
Ivy league sperm
Out of a catalogue
66
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:13,020
To defrost
And squirt.
67
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,222
You don't want
To adopt,
68
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,791
You don't want a donor
69
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,694
And yet you're sure
That you wanted a baby.
70
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,997
It isn't just
About being a mother,
71
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,368
Like you said last week.
You also wanted to have
72
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,404
The perfect picture.
73
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,440
( sighs )
I kept waiting
To meet the right guy
74
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:35,976
But it--
He didn't show up.
75
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,681
Or more likely
I pushed him away.
76
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,520
And now no man
And no kid.
77
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,125
I don't want
To talk about this.
78
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,695
Let's switch
To the weather.
79
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,064
It was a really
Cold weekend,
Wasn't it?
80
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,999
Actually, it was
81
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,934
Surprisingly warm.
82
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,671
Did you stay inside?
83
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:08,642
Hmm. Did you
Call anybody?
84
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,647
You could've called me.
85
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,883
You're--
You're still
In mourning
86
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,386
And you were away
Over the weekend
Anyway, right?
87
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,721
Mia, something like this
88
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,458
- you call me.
- actually, I did
Talk to someone.
89
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,794
Believe it or not,
90
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,662
I spoke to my mother.
91
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,432
Oh. Well,
92
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,934
I'd certainly like
To hear about that.
93
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,803
( scoffs )
94
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,171
Do you think we could
Talk about it inside?
95
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,073
What is it
With therapists?
96
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,110
- you hear the word "Mother"
And these bells go off?
- ( chuckles )
97
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,745
Pretty much.
98
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,548
It's-- it's part
Of the training.
99
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,152
So would you like
To tell me about
The conversation
100
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,555
You had
With your mother?
101
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:30,223
Um, cara,
One of my nieces,
102
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,259
Gave a piano recital
On saturday,
103
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:35,328
And when my mother saw
That I wasn't there
104
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:38,331
She called to see
If I was okay.
105
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,101
Your mother
And not your father?
106
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,736
Right.
107
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,739
I haven't heard
From him in a while.
108
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:50,243
( sighs )
Anyway, my mother is
The queen of protocol
109
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,245
And I had missed
A family event.
110
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,181
This-- it was
Cara playing chopin,
111
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,149
And I have been paying
For her lessons.
112
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,186
I told my sisters that
If any of the girls wanted
113
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,154
Music lessons
That I would treat.
114
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,592
I mean, what is
The money for?
115
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,529
I defend some pretty
Questionable doctors--
116
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,366
Present company excluded--
117
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,869
And how many pairs
Of high heels do I need?
118
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,605
Is that because
You want to make sure
119
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,707
That music isn't
Taken away from them
120
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,409
In the way
That it was for you?
121
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,444
Playing piano was
122
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:27,915
The one thing that
Always made me feel happy.
123
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,951
Anyway, I didn't
Answer the phone,
124
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,486
So she left a message.
125
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,522
And then later
That afternoon
126
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,457
She showed up
At my apartment
127
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,860
With a platter
Of pierogis.
128
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,596
Maybe she was
Concerned for you.
129
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,866
Yeah yeah.
Well, there's always
A first time, right?
130
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,601
So how did it go?
131
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,970
I was still
In my pajamas.
132
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,240
She took one look
At me, the heating pad,
133
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,408
The tylenol, the tissues
In front of me
134
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,946
And she said,
"Do you have the flu?"
135
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,218
And I shook my head no.
136
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:09,122
I started to cry
And she got it.
137
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:14,662
And she said
"Maybe that's nature's way."
138
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,264
I-- I don't know when
139
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,332
I last cried
In front of her
140
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:23,704
Or when
She's last hugged me.
141
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,407
And then she heated up
The food,
142
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,409
Set the table nicely,
143
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,179
- poured us some nalewka.
- what's that?
144
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,715
It's a cherry-infused vodka.
145
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,550
It's a traditional drink.
146
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,452
Anyway, she tried to make
A consolation toast.
147
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,155
She said
"To better days..."
148
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,659
And then she told me
149
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,995
That she was proud of me.
150
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,296
Well, maybe she was.
151
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:53,634
She said that
I should be grateful
For what I have--
152
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,969
My independence,
My career,
153
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,971
This interesting life
I'm leading.
154
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,407
It sounds like
Some of the things
155
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,810
That she might have
Wanted for herself.
156
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,445
Well, I--
I snapped at her.
157
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,547
I said, "That's kind
Of a strange toast
158
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,250
Considering you've
Always blamed me
159
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,052
For ruining
Your modeling career."
160
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:15,756
- did you tell her that?
- well, you won't believe
What she said.
161
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:20,193
She said that
She didn't really
Have much of a career.
162
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,730
She wasn't that pretty
163
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,464
And that she never
Would have risen
164
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,801
Above her job
As an underwear model,
165
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,705
Which is not what
I grew up hearing.
166
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:36,243
- right, her mantra.
- her false mantra.
167
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,480
The same lie
Over and over
168
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,950
Until everyone accepts
That it's true,
169
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,385
Especially me, the one
That she loves to blame.
170
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,356
Did you ask her
Why she did that?
171
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,659
My mother said
That it was...
172
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,362
Kind of her cover story...
173
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,768
That having me
Didn't ruin her looks.
174
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,805
It destroyed her mind.
175
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,407
She said that
After I was born,
176
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,643
She lost it.
177
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,813
She couldn't
Get out of bed,
178
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,447
She didn't
Want to eat.
179
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,784
She said she stayed
In her room
180
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,352
Because she was afraid
That if she left it,
181
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,088
She would kill herself,
182
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:25,492
And that there
Was some small,
Sane part of her
183
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:29,196
That didn't want
To do that to me.
184
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,631
You know, there are
Some mothers who get
So depressed
185
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,334
That they lose sight
Of even that.
186
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,104
Okay.
187
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,740
So where was your
Father during all of this?
188
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,042
She said he just moved
Into the living room.
189
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,411
He didn't try to get her
Professional help?
190
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,680
Are you kidding?
( chuckles )
191
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,482
He was
First generation.
192
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,152
He would've
Been mortified
193
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,821
To ask someone for help,
194
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:56,690
To admit that
His wife was crazy.
195
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,358
So he took care of you
196
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,128
- during this time?
- he did everything.
He had too.
197
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,431
She didn't even want
To breastfeed.
198
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:09,269
So, really,
You weren't mothered
For over a year.
199
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,171
When she came out of it--
200
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,006
Somehow she did--
201
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,976
She said she had
This rush of feeling
202
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,346
And that she wanted
To be close to me,
203
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:24,151
But by then
My dad and I were
Just inseparable--
204
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:28,889
I think the word she used
Was "Impenetrable"--
205
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,992
That my father had
Never forgiven her
206
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:36,129
And that he used
Our closeness to show her
How she'd failed.
207
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:39,099
She said that she was
So guilt-ridden
208
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,068
That she thought
She didn't deserve me,
209
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:44,905
And so she just
Kept away.
210
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,107
That's quite
An admission.
211
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,777
That must've given you
A lot to take in
212
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,579
About both your parents.
213
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,181
Yeah, I guess.
214
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,716
Do you think
Her depression
Might also explain
215
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,852
Why she didn't
Get pregnant again
For 10 years?
216
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,754
No, she talked
About that too.
217
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,823
The twins--
The cherished twins--
218
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,826
They were an accident.
219
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,831
She said that
She was terrified
220
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,000
When she found out that
She was pregnant again
221
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:16,536
And that
She asked my father
222
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,906
To hire a sitter
223
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,241
So someone
Would take care of us
224
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:24,011
If she couldn't.
225
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:28,315
And according to her,
He said no,
226
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,717
That he couldn't
Afford it.
227
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,986
And she insisted
That it was his idea
228
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,222
To send me out
To his sister's
Out in new jersey.
229
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,425
- and you don't believe her?
- of course not.
230
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,862
My father adored me.
231
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,331
She also said
That I was wrong
232
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,000
About him coming out
To visit me every sunday,
233
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,302
That I must've
Made that up,
234
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:53,240
Because they came together
Once a month.
235
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:57,477
- that's not possible.
- actually, mia, it is...
236
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,146
Because it's
Entirely possible
237
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,049
You airbrushed her
Out of your memories
Of that time.
238
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,152
Sometimes the need
To protect one parent
Is so strong
239
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,587
A child puts
All the blame
On the other.
240
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,490
No, you're getting
This wrong.
241
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,860
She-- she is the one
Who blamed me.
242
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,394
Until saturday,
243
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,897
When she came to you
With what sounds like
244
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:20,267
An unburdening.
245
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,903
I'm wondering what that
Must've been like
For you to hear.
246
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,972
It made me furious
247
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:28,375
And if I hadn't been sick,
I would have thrown her out.
248
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,911
Do you know what it was
That made you so angry?
249
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,246
She spent
My whole life telling me
250
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:37,184
That I ruined her life,
And now she changes her mind
251
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:40,287
When I'm vulnerable,
When I've cried in her arms.
252
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,322
Well, maybe feeling
You cry in her arms
253
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,858
- is what made her open up.
- what kind of timing is that?
254
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,660
- what does she expect?
- that's a good question.
255
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,829
What do you think
She expected?
256
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,399
Why are we examining
Her motives?
257
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,969
I'm-- I'm fucking here
258
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,570
Because of her
Fucked-up motives.
259
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,240
She wanted me
To let her off the hook.
260
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,309
"Bless me, my daughter,
For I have sinned."
261
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,145
I'm supposed to listen
Until she's finished
And grant absolution?
262
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:08,648
What's the matter?
You look horrified.
263
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,284
What, I'm back
To monster mia here?
264
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,853
No no no no no,
I understand your anger.
265
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:17,190
She didn't take care
Of you, she lied, she was
Never there for you,
266
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:21,294
Then suddenly
She wants to be close.
267
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,864
Why...
268
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,100
Did she give up?
269
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,371
Okay, she was sick
For a year,
270
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,006
But after that...
271
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:37,244
Why didn't
She fight harder
To be my mother?
272
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,313
How-- how come
Nobody sticks by me?
273
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,415
But she did say
That she tried
274
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,652
But that there was
Something impenetrable
275
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,021
About your father's
Bond with you.
276
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,689
Why are you
Taking her side?
277
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,424
I'm not trying
To take her side.
278
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,260
All I'm suggesting
279
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,063
Is it may not be
As black and white
As you remember it.
280
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,931
It's black and black.
281
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,034
She manipulated me one way
282
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,203
For my entire life
283
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,872
And now she wants
To manipulate me
The other way
284
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,840
- to get rid of her guilt.
- that might be true,
285
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,676
But it's also possible--
286
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:12,479
Perhaps in
Her own clumsy way--
287
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,315
That your mother was
Trying to reach out.
288
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,184
She saw that
You were in crisis,
289
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,952
In some way
Like her own crisis--
290
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,621
There you were in pajamas,
You were depressed,
291
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,390
It was related
To a pregnancy--
292
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,625
And she recognized it
Right away.
293
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,594
She was trying to help.
294
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,530
So once again,
295
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,900
I had a chance
At intimacy
296
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,902
And I screwed it up.
297
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,571
I pushed her away.
Is that your point?
298
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,507
( sighs )
299
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,610
God damn it.
300
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,413
Just stop all the therapy
And tell me what you think.
301
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:49,983
Okay.
Your mother tells you
All these things
302
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,985
And you get angry.
303
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,656
- what about your father?
- I felt bad for him.
304
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,492
His wife gives birth,
He wants to celebrate
305
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:02,429
And she's ready
To jump out the window?
306
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:06,333
Plus he has
A crying, hungry infant
To take care of.
307
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,036
He has to be both
The mother and the father,
So good for him.
308
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,703
Has it ever
Occurred to you
309
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,240
That he might have
Colluded in the lie
That she told?
310
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,975
You just said it:
She told the lie.
311
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,244
But he never
Corrected it.
312
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,379
Why do you think
That is, mia?
313
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:24,351
- he was helping her save face.
- for 43 years?
314
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,453
Can't you accept that
He was a good father?
315
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,888
Nobody in therapy
Has a good dad?
316
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,159
A good dad who shipped
A 10-year-old girl
Off to new jersey
317
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,227
Rather than pay
For a babysitter?
318
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,230
There had to be a way
To keep you at home.
319
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,633
I mean, families find
A way of working things out.
320
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,603
Well, she's probably lying
About all that too.
321
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:47,474
She could be,
But let's just take her
At her word for a moment.
322
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,110
What that means is that
You have to reevaluate
323
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,180
Who your parents are
And what they did.
324
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,284
Maybe your father
Wasn't the ideal man
That you thought.
325
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,220
And maybe your mother
Was actually trying
To connect with you.
326
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,056
What's going on here?
She decides to
Rewrite history
327
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,058
And you just
Go along with it?
328
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,826
Well, sometimes
We find it easier
329
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:11,298
- to hold on to the fiction.
- it's not fiction, paul.
330
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:14,834
I'm telling you
My mother was never
There for me
331
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,703
And my father
Always was.
332
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,971
That's your mantra, mia,
333
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,674
And maybe it's as false
As your mother's.
334
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,777
Look at the way you
Defend it, how angry
You get if I challenge it.
335
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,148
I ask you
To see your parents
In a different light--
336
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,417
I just ask you to do that--
And you go on the attack.
337
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,520
You accuse me
Of taking sides.
338
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,189
Maybe I just don't
Like it when you blame him
For everything.
339
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,258
I need--
I need a break.
340
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,594
( sighs )
341
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,098
Shit.
342
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,201
- sorry.
- that's okay.
343
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,602
( carafe thuds )
344
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,314
It's not
About blame, mia.
345
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,917
What I'm asking you to do
Is more complex than that.
346
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,187
I want you
To question the way
347
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,222
That you have thought
About your parents
348
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,592
- for most of your life.
- oh, is that all?
349
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,427
I know it isn't easy,
350
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,863
But I can tell you
From personal experience...
351
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,735
It's better to do it
When your parents
Are still alive.
352
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,209
My whole life
I had this...
353
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,881
Distorted image
Of who my parents were.
354
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,752
And I-- I didn't want
To let that go.
355
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,288
I fought against it,
356
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:43,856
And then finally I did,
357
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,926
And it was too late.
358
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,462
My father was--
359
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,733
He was gone.
360
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,336
And that was
361
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,139
A huge loss.
362
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,413
I've had enough loss
This week.
363
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:09,048
I know, but, mia,
If you don't go
Through this,
364
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,150
You're gonna stay
Where you are,
365
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,453
You're gonna keep punishing
The men in your life
366
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,122
For not being
What you need--
Men like bennett.
367
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,025
- bennett was
An asshole.
- or like me.
368
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,494
You blamed me
For the abortion,
369
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:25,064
But wasn't it your father
Who arranged it?
370
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,499
He was
Just supporting me.
371
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,401
Or maybe he was,
Once again,
372
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,370
Trying to hold on
Too tight,
373
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,639
To keep you
As his little girl.
374
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,841
No.
375
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,409
No, the abortion
Was my idea.
376
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,245
I told you that
Last week.
377
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,348
You said you haven't
Heard from him lately,
378
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,883
Even though he must've
Known you were sick.
379
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,653
He was-- he was
Always there when
I was a girl.
380
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,655
Was he?
381
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,359
How about your piano?
382
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:56,663
You said it was
The one thing that
Always made you happy.
383
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,466
Did you mother talk about
What happened to it?
384
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,975
She said that
385
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,478
He sold it.
386
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,684
He said with two babies
In the house there was
Enough noise.
387
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,820
Let me ask you
Something:
388
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,722
What would happen
389
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,359
If you believed her?
390
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,796
If you actually
Let yourself feel
391
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,565
The hurt
And the anger that
392
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,835
You might have buried
For this perfect dad?
393
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,344
I can't do this, paul.
394
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,446
Okay?
Not today, not this week.
395
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,548
You know, maybe this is
The perfect time.
396
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,518
This is a week that's
Been filled with loss.
397
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:55,054
You mother comes
And she gives you...
398
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,123
A new family history.
399
00:20:57,223 --> 00:21:00,527
The picture you've
Had of them is just
Torn up and thrown away.
400
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,464
And earlier in the week
You lost your own child,
401
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:09,168
The baby that
You wanted for so long.
402
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:13,573
That new family
Also just taken away.
403
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,711
That's not quite true.
404
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:22,815
On saturday
My mother insisted
On calling her doctor,
405
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,218
And he had us
Meet him at his office
In greenpoint
406
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:30,590
On a saturday night.
407
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,526
He's the same doctor
Who delivered the twins.
408
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,795
Hadn't you already
Seen your doctor?
409
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,597
I called on friday.
410
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:41,668
My park avenue
Obgyn said, you know,
411
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:45,705
Wait it out and to call him
If the pain got much worse.
412
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:49,141
So my mom drove us
To brooklyn
413
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:52,111
And there was
Old dr. Solomon,
414
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,714
Sitting behind his desk.
415
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,389
He did some tests
416
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:05,525
And he told me that--
417
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,429
That I hadn't lost
The baby
418
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:12,665
Because I wasn't
Ever pregnant.
419
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:20,507
I told him
About my f.S.H. Level
420
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:25,545
And he said
That I probably never
Would be pregnant.
421
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:34,554
And then he went on.
He said that...
422
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:38,891
He sees this kind
Of thing once a week:
423
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,129
Women like me--
424
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,365
Successful,
425
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:50,903
No children,
My age and older--
426
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:56,042
Who come in
Just convinced that
They're pregnant.
427
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:03,450
And he has
To tell them that they're--
428
00:23:07,454 --> 00:23:09,656
They're not.
429
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,560
Oh.
430
00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:17,564
So...
431
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:23,803
So you hadn't done
A test before that.
432
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:28,074
No.
( chuckles )
433
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,610
- ( sniffles )
- why not?
434
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,712
I don't know.
I thought I would wait.
435
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:35,682
I had an appointment
For this week
436
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:39,151
To see my doctor
And I was just so sure.
437
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:44,991
But I had it wrong
438
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,093
And you have it wrong.
439
00:23:48,828 --> 00:23:52,832
I don't have
To grieve for a child
That I never had.
440
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,603
Mia, last week you--
441
00:23:57,704 --> 00:23:59,539
You talked about the--
442
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,708
The new life that--
443
00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:04,076
That you felt
Inside you.
444
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,146
- it wasn't there.
- but in a way it was.
445
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:11,050
The strength
Of that desire
446
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,720
To create new life.
447
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:27,900
It's almost 7:45.
448
00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:31,671
Is it too early
To get drunk?
449
00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:35,374
Who knows?
I could get lucky
450
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,210
And meet another
Married man at the bar.
451
00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:48,555
I'm gonna go.
452
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,292
Will you please call me
During the week?
453
00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:54,994
Call you?
454
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:57,296
Yeah, I want to know
455
00:24:57,396 --> 00:25:00,132
How you are.
456
00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:03,670
( sighs )
457
00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,779
( theme music playing )
33306
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof