Original subtitles

Uh, Loss of Roses by William Ing.

I remember my first day of school.

Mother took me by the hand and I carried

a bouquet of roses too.

Mama had let me choose the most lovely

roses in the garden and the teacher

thanked me for them.

Then mama left me

and I felt kind of scared cuz I had

never been any place before without her.

But she told me teach would be mama to

me at school

and would treat me just as nice as she

did. So I sat down with all the other

kids, their faces so strange and new to

me. And I started talking to a little

boy across the aisle.

I didn't know it was against the rules.

But teacher came back and slapped me so

hard across the face that I cried and I

ran to the door because I wanted to run

home to mom as quick as I could.

The teacher grabbed me by the hand and

she pulled me to my seat and she told me

I was too big a girl to be running home

to mama

and I had to learn to take my

punishment.

I still cried.

I told teacher I wanted my roses back

but she wouldn't give them to me.

She shook her finger at me and said,

"When I gave away lovely presents, I

couldn't expect to get them back."

I guess I never really learned that

lesson very well.

There's so many things I still want

back.

Thank you. Um,

why is she telling the story and who is

she telling the story to?

Uh, she's telling this story to a woman

who's kind of became her mother when she

was a child.

It's it feels like a really nice, sweet

monologue.

Yeah. But it feels like there's no

stakes and that the only stakes are will

you get to the point where you will get

emotional at the end. That's what it

feels like the sort of journey for you

is. I feel like the stakes have to be

much higher. So I wonder whether maybe

somewhere in here you've become the

teacher that slapped you across the

face. You become that person

and that's why you're telling this

story.

Mhm.

You were somebody who would slap a kid

in the face and wag your finger at them

and say, "What's the line?" You don't

get back things you give away.

That's what I think this piece sort of

is about metaphorically. I think that

she is

talking about the thing that she's

become

and using the example of the worst

memory she has as a child. Mhm.

So, start this monologue completely

differently.

Okay.

Start this monologue in enormous anger.

This is not a pleasant story you're

remembering about the beautiful flowers.

I want you to push push push. Go get do

this model in a way you've never [ __ ]

done it. Never imagined it could be

done.

Okay.

This woman is pissed off.

I remember my first day at school.

Mother took me by the hand and she and I

carried a bouquet of roses, too. Mama

had let me pick the loveliest roses in

the garden.

And the teacher thanked me for them.

Great. It's beautiful. I want you to

keep in that mode. Sit on your [ __ ]

hands

and tell us this story. Don't

demonstrate. Don't illustrate. Tell us

this story right where you were. Go.

Then mama left me

and I felt kind of scared cuz I had

never been any place before without her.

But she told me teacher would be mama to

me at school and would treat me just as

nice as she did.

So I sat with all the other little kids.

Their faces so strange and new to me.

And I started talking with the little

boy across the aisle.

I didn't know it was against the rules,

but teacher came back and she slapped me

across the face so hard that I cried and

I ran. I ran to the door as quick as I

could cuz I wanted to get home to mama.

Okay, now let's just stop for a second

cuz this is very interesting. What's

tell tell us what you're experiencing

before I talk about what I'm

experiencing.

Uh I'm feeling contradictory is what I'm

feeling.

Great. Great. Do you ever feel that way

in life?

Yeah.

Great. Yeah,

that's one of the things that's the most

important key to acting

is being able to be contradictory.

Yeah.

Why are you doing this monologue?

It's a question I'll ask people when I

think you're not doing a monologue that

serves you.

Yeah.

Because what it means is if we don't

follow our own hearts,

if we don't go, you know what? [ __ ] that

[ __ ] I'm going to do something that

I I need to do. I need to say these

words. I need to experience this

character. I I need to do this for

myself because God knows there's a lot

of times when we don't get that

opportunity and when we do have to you

know go you know cheese it there what

you know uh what whatever. Uh, so it's

interesting to me that you chose the

piece and then interesting to me that

you do the piece in a way that has

weirdly no stakes and weirdly no, you

know, it and and my point is is that

it's not enough for us to do a piece

where the whole notion is that if we get

emotional by the end, then we're showing

what a good actor we are. I don't give a

[ __ ] about whether you get emotional at

the end. I give a [ __ ] about whether I

get emotional at the end.

And in fact, what's more interesting

nine times out of 10 is watching actors,

and we know this from some of the great

performances ever, is that they're

sitting on a keg of either dynamite or

emotion that they never let go. It's

literally it's that precipice of will

they fall over to the other side? And

and one of the reasons why that's so

interesting in terms of watching great

work is because then that makes us come

to them. We then do 50% of that work

rather than us giving it all to them.

It's one of the things that's a great

lesson to learn is how to keep it in.

And the audience wants you to go there,

but you don't. You you don't you don't

give it to them. I'll just tell you this

one little story because it illustrates

weirdly what audiences want. Who's seen

Rosemary's Baby?

Well, if you haven't seen Rosemary's

Baby, it's a movie worth watching. Uh

this is a film with Mia Pharaoh and an

incredible actress named Ruth Gordon.

Ruth Gordon was a playwright and her

husband Garson Kanan. They wrote many,

many plays. In fact, they wrote many of

the screenplays for the great Katherine

Heppern uh Spencer Tracy movies. But in

uh this film, uh she plays one of the

leading roles, Ruth Gorton. In fact, she

won an Oscar for supporting actress. And

there's a scene in the movie where she's

on the phone in a bedroom

and Billy Franker, who was the

cinematographer, told me this story when

he directed me in something at

television. He said, "So, uh, it was the

morning and I set up the shot and there

was a shot, uh, of Ruth sitting on the

bed and you could see the lamp and the

phone and her back was to us and she was

on the bed and it was through the

doorway." And he says, "Roma Palansky

came onto the set after I'd set up the

camera." Palansky looked through the

lens and he went, "No, it's not right.

Uh, move it this way." And so we moved

the camera that way and he said, "No,

move it this way." And move the camera

that way. No, move it this way. Move the

camera. He said, "Now all you could see

was a piece of Ruth Gordon. You could no

longer see the phone. You couldn't see

the lamp. You couldn't see the table.

And you could just see a piece of her

through the doorway." And I said,

"Roman, the you told me you wanted to

see her on the phone." He said, "Yeah,

no, this is right."

He said, "I didn't realize until the

very first preview of the movie. I was

standing in the back of the theater and

the movie was playing and that scene

came up and the entire audience went

like this

and tried to look around the door

because they wanted to see. It's just a

great example of sometimes it's not the

obvious. Sometimes it's holding back,

not giving an audience what they want

that will make them want it even more.