Original subtitles

. Holy shit.

You fuckers got a death wish?

What, did you miss the announcement?

Go shelter in place 'til we can make an official call.

Go on. Get the fuck outta here.

Thank you, boys.

Jesus. It's hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock.

Stay.

Fuck me.

. Come on! Oh yeah!

Chill out, man.

You get it?

Guys, this door is super fucky, okay?

So don't let it shut.

I'm trying to get someone here to fix this

but my texts won't send.

I think anything south of trailer 17 is a black hole!

Bad signal.

I don't know. Should we make a run for it?

Find a better shelter?

Roach, bangin' it never helps.

That's not what she said, man.

I gotta take a wizard.

Oh! Fuckin' A!

. Roach!

Oh my god.

You're a stoned genius!

Yeah. Totally, man.

This one time,

I got a subscription to "High Times Magazine"

for answering a skill testing question correctly.

Oh yeah? What was it?

What was what?

Oh fuck.

Come back. Oh.

Hey man.

Bangin' on it doesn't help.

Dewey, why are you pissing on the port-a-potty?

Opsferatu.

Oh yeah. I remember.

. This is how real visionaries scale themselves.

Even though today I'm in Frankfurt,

I'm attending three meetings simultaneously

in three different time zones.

Oh, hey guys! The AC unit's broken

and I can't get reception to call an electrician.

Let me take a look.

You stay here.

Leonard, you're a senior engineer,

leave this to the schlubs.

Hey, be careful of that door.

It slams and sticks.

This is insane.

It's no way to live.

We need to get the AC fixed.

My ass cheeks and my nutsack

are gonna be stuck to this chair forever.

Why would you put that in my head? God.

Heat index over forty.

That's shut-her-down hot.

Heat day? - Oh, I'm calling it.

Fuck yeah! Beach day, baby!

Oh, I regret the words I'm about to say but...

pool party at my place?

No way! - Oh, fuck yeah!

Woo hoo hoo!

Pool party! Pool-pool-pool party!

Attention everyone. This is your GF.

The workday has been suspended due to excessive temperature.

Heat day, fuckers. Let's get wet!

Let's see some dad bods out there!

Yeahhhh!

I'll inform any stragglers and I'll see ya there.

Oh! - Hey.

Heat day? - Pool party at Chelsea's.

. Yes!

I got beers in my truck.

Bring 'em all. I'm your boss. And that's an order, Tase.

. Heat day! Let's go!

Do we have to invite Jenn Conch?

Fuck no. - Yes!

Oh, hey man. While you're down there...

Gross!

The heat pump's toast.

It's only blasting hot air.

. Yeah, just like I told you.

What's up, fuckface?

Not much, shithead. - Wooo!

Okay. Heat day is confirmed

and Chelsea is hosting a pool party.

Nooooo!! - Nooooo!!!

Why?

That thing stick?

It does! - It does!

Okay, I'll call for help.

But there's no reception! - No signal!

No answer, ding-dong.

Oh fuck me!

What in the French fried fuck?

Good luck, Chummer.

Fuck sakes.

I will have the common sense

to not yell at inanimate objects!!

. Nice, Homer.

I'm feeling proud of your progress, Homer.

. Hang on, Cam.

Hey Todd, I'm just on a call with my deprogramming sponsor.

. Fuckin' right, buddy.

So listen, there's a pool party at Chelsea's

and someone stole my fuckin' shorts.

Big whoop. Someone took my fuckin' job away.

. Well, deprogram that.

Listen, come to the party.

You need to see your crew,

show everyone you're ready to go back to work.

Yes! It's time I re-entered civilized society.

I just, I need to get paid again, man!

There you go, ya dick twizzler!

Listen, do me a favour,

grab me a pair of trunks out of the laundry

and get the fuck over to Chelsea's.

Yeah, I'm on it.

Okay. So, um, I just got invited to a party

and I think I'm ready!

Do you? I mean, I've got my coping tools.

Right, Snax?

You know, why don't you go fuck yourself?

And-and I'll-I'll practice deep breathing

if anybody brings up pool chlorine,

even though it is chemical warfare on the body!

. Would you like to hear the latest?

And you didn't hear this from me,

but chlorine causes rosacea and fallen arches.

From one truther to the other.

Astonishingly unhelpful.

Stay strong, my boy. Stay strong.

I'll call you later.

Well, Snax, I'm going to a party.

Metal expands and doors jam in these cheap trailers.

Thermal expansion.

Windows all sealed and graded shut.

This is a problem!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Okay, everyone. Don't panic.

I've got this.

Thank you, Dewey!

. Epic fail.

. Oh, for fuck's sake, Dewey.

Everyone panic!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh no!

I turned it into a hair dryer!

We're gonna fry in here!

Why won't it turn off?

Everyone's gone.

No one's coming for us.

Oh my God, guys.

My body doesn't metabolize heat properly.

I have no sweat glands.

I'm gonna embarrass myself.

I'm not normal!

Not normal how?

I pant like a fuckin' Retriever!

Can you fetch?

No, Roach. But I fuckin' bite.

Okay! Hey! R-2-Dbag!

We're stuck in here!

Go wheel yourself up and get some help!

Okay. Well, R-2-Dbag is on it.

C-3-P-Go fuck yourself.

Okay. Uh, Leonard, Dewey,

go find another way outta here!

Roach, lie Steph down and get her stoned!

Aye-aye, Captain.

Don't panic.

Why are there so many fuckin' locks on this thing?!

Hello? There is a group stuck in trailer 19!

Medhi! - Taser, thank goodness.

We have a crisis.

We're all going to the boss's place for caviar

and expensive cocktails.

Pool party! Wish you were here!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh!

You know what?

You are all a group of party-obsessed fools.

Hello?

Yes, uh, thank you for calling me back.

Room 1308.

I have one very important question for you.

Are your heirloom oats gluten free?

That doesn't work.

Good afternoon, Chelsea.

Aw, Homer. Glad you came.

Would you, um, allow me please?

You do florals?

Yes. Maureen's encouraged me to take up habits

that are based in reality as she so eloquently put it,

if you call this bullshit simulation a reality.

Drink all those beers, boys, or you're fired!

Thanks for having us, Chelsea.

Pleasure. Nice rig. - Right?

Homer, you okay?

Glad you came

but go back to my place if you're feeling triggered

or wherever the fuck is happening here.

You know, I could go back and keep working on your hot tub.

As you were, my man.

Here are your shorts.

Wow, this place is insane!

. It's all right.

Homer, are you okay? You want a beer?

Oh fuck. I love it when a heat day comes together.

. I'm leaking.

. It feels like a sauna in here.

Roach, man, you've had a screwdriver

this whole fuckin' time?

. Screwdriver?

No, that's my vape driver.

But good idea though.

Leonard!

If no one comes,

this sandwich will keep us alive.

You protect your lunch.

All I want is this Leatherman.

Okay, where were we?

Marry Chelsea.

. You should totally marry Chelsea, dude.

Your life would smell like a five-star hotel, man.

. I'd marry Chelsea.

. Marry Chelsea.

And fuck Jenn Conch.

. Euphemism?

Is that a euphemism?

. It just rhymes, idiot.

. This could be the way out!

Goddammit! These are fuckin' tight.

They're pinching my bag and going right up my hole. Fuck!

Dumbass packed me the wrong shorts!

Those are Audrey's shorts.

Yeah, no shit.

They're riding right up my hole.

Ew.

Ooh. - Oh!

Look. There's a nice old lady

staring at your sweet and juicy candy ass.

Hey, big boy.

You got "BARF" written right across your arse?

Oh fuck.

He sure does.

That's Gladys. Ignore her.

Hello Gladys. - Hello.

I guess I'm wearing pants.

No, you're not. Yoink! - Hey!

I like those shorts. Take 'em, Gladys!

They're my property now.

Can I have my pants, please?

Back off!

I will tear the both of you apart!

Oh I've got the stamina.

Believe me.

Good to know.

I can't wear these fuckin' things.

Fuckin' right you can't.

Hey Gladys, don't threaten me with a good time, my dear.

Let's fuckin' go, boys!

Ahhhhhh!

Taser! Oh, no, no, no!

And fucking go, ladies.

Taser, why would you bring your kids to a work party?

Just trying to be a better dad.

Spend quality time. Right, kids?

Ow that hurts!

Well, it hurt me when you didn't take us for ice cream

on the way here.

Yeah, Taser. We're hungry!

You told us we'd get fed here!

Your kids call ya Taser?

Remember we talked about this.

I'm your dad.

You call me "Dad".

Love you, babies.

We're having fun!

You kids.

You having fun, fun dad?

Oh, nice shorts!

And now there's children here.

Thank you.

. Hold steady. Here we go, baby.

Oh my God.

. You got it, Auds.

. A little higher. I got a knot.

. Guys, this isn't a fucking back massage.

Oh yeah.

Feels good.

Shit.

Guys, you have to hoist me up.

Giddy up. Here we go.

Ooh yeah, I see the daylight!

I don't know if you fit, man.

Shit!

I gotta sit down.

. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Easy, girl.

You just need a little cloud cover.

I'll take some too.

Oh no! I have a contact high!

I've never done drugs before!

. There's no going back, man.

Oh my god.

Nice shorts, baglicker!

Ahhhh! You little...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Those are Louboutins

and that might mean nothing to you, but-

Those are nice for feet. - Yes, they are.

They're also expensive!

Ah! Mother f-!

Okay. H-h-how about we do a trade here?

Can I offer you some stuffed olives?

. Yeah you can!

Hopefully nobody's playing wack-a-dick over here.

Pump it, Cricket.

How ridiculous do I look in these shorts, boys?

Have you looked in a mirror?

Easy there, Tan-man!

. Shut the fuck up.

The man is still a stallion, okay?

But yeah, he's right.

You look like fuckin' shit.

Prick.

Oh well, fuck it.

Heat day still rules, boys.

I wonder where fuckin' Audrey is.

Hmm?

And Dewey.

And Steph.

No, that's a good point, Backwoods.

Is someone else having a competing party?

Does Jenn Conch have a pool?

Oh, I'm sure she'd just fill it with Prosecco and party foam

and call it Jenn-chella.

Yeah! Conch-stock.

Homer, Ghost Protocol?

Mm. I'm off the dark web.

My son's monitoring my internet usage.

And no more energy drinks.

But I'm feeling good!

Life is good, right?

Yes. Drink to that.

. Yeah. Lemon shark bite.

. Tell us more.

. Three years old.

My dad faked his own death

to get out of paying child support.

Joke's on him.

Found him in Regina with a whole other family,

so that's cool.

I got step-brothers.

You guys heard of kissing cousins?

Oh yeah.

I can top that.

. I've only ever been with my wife.

Aww that's adorable.

And she's only ever been with me.

That's delusional.

This is grim, guys.

I'll never have the chance to do it.

Do sex?

Yeah, do sex.

You wear a shirt that says "certified lover" on it.

It says "certified panda lover".

And I got it at the zoo.

I wear it to be ironical.

I do sex.

I just can't wear socks. It gives me blisters.

No, no, no, no!

Don't do that. Don't do that.

No, no, no, no, no! There's no circulation in here!

. Oh my god!

Roach, no! Oh fuck! What a stink!

. I know, I know, I know.

My feet stink and my collarbone pops out,

but I got excellent penmanship, man.

Roach, rewind a little.

I can't wear socks. It gives me blisters.

Fast forward.

I can't remember what I said.

His collarbone pops out.

Yeah, that's what I said!

Up you go!

Hop up, stink foot!

Wha-what? - Oh yeah.

Homer, YouTube says the Denver Airport

is a portal to hell.

Now do you think the horse statue there

killed its own sculptor, or...?

The horse has a name and it's Bluecifer.

Bluecifer? - What the fuck. Shit.

Which I would explain to you if I was engaging,

but I am not.

Good for you, man.

Stay strong. You got this, buddy.

Yeah.

Homer, what about them pigeons?

Still think they're government drones?

They're just birds, Tase, just birds.

. Yeah, they are.

How about billionaire blood transfusions?

Come on, guys, lay off him a little, huh?

Is the Earth flat? - Is the moon hollow?

Wait a second.

Are you telling me

that Marilyn Manson took out his own ribs

so he can suck his own dick?

I am on vacation.

I celebrate the things I can control...

. Good for you, Homer.

Move small obstacles to reach my goals.

. Just like Marilyn Manson

'cause the man is a fuckin' genius.

Yes! Genius. - Maureen.

Oh boy. - What's that song?

. That's enough, boys.

Maureen.

Don't you fuckin' fart in my face.

. Okay! Just fuckin' go!

Okay, okay, I'm gonna keep pushing!

. Oh, oh. Oh, it's too tight!

You're ripping my skin, man!

Okay, okay! Okay, okay, okay, okay. We're stopping.

Oh!

Leonard, what's in your sub?

Lettuce and vegan mayo?

Don't you think about it.

I already thought about it.

The new Homer's kind of weirdin' me out.

He's not like the old Homer. He's no fun.

Can we reboot him? - Yeah.

What're you guys talking about, huh?

Are you talking shit about me?

Busted. - Yes!

We just miss the guy who used to talk about UFOs

and robot overlords.

My wife doesn't miss that guy, okay?

What Maureen doesn't like is that you believe this stuff.

It's hard not to believe in the matrix when you're in it!

Open your mouth, Neo! - Whoa!

You missed me, huh?

You expect me to believe that chlorine is for germs?!

No! It's for mind control!! - Here we go.

Yes.

That's why all you sheeple are so agreeable at parties!

It's not the hot dogs! It's compliance gas!!!

You gotta get over this, man.

Chelsea, I need your laptop!

Fucking touch me, you fuck.

Why? Why? What're you gonna do?

Holy fuck! - We miss you Homer!

You're a shit disturber. - Yes, I am!

Hey!

Oh.

Oh, we should have thought of this a while ago. Oh.

I'm not gonna eat the rest of that.

Let's get him up, people.

Okay, ready? 1, 2, 3!

. There goes my collarbone!

Aww man!

Can you get out?

I'm totally fuckin' stuck, man.

Okay, okay. Let's get him down.

Roach?

Oh man, no!!

. Homer, you know who's really behind chlorine?

Big Pharma. - All right! Enough!

I need your support, okay?

You're supposed to be helping me.

From my perspective, Homer, you're doing good.

You're vertical, dressed as a civilian.

Sitting here in clothes is hardly aspirational.

Would you like links to clothing?

What?

New summer inventory is being updated every hour.

Homer, where the fuck did you find this guy?

Someone in my group recommended him.

I think he's in Texas or something.

I have a virtual success rate of 98%

and a 4.95 star rating.

I'm expecting a five star from you, pardner!

Did he just get a Texas accent?

Yeah, he did.

Hold on a second.

Hey Cam, tell me a haiku

where the first letter of each line spells the word "cat",

but do it in a cockney accent.

Closed doors hide the truth.

Aliens run the bake sales.

Tinfoil hats, sold out.

Mm-hmm. Goddamnit, he's an AI!

What? Really?

I thought it was pretty good.

No, I got duped and you know what?

I want a refund, you robotic fuck.

Homer, I never told you I'm human.

Read our terms of service.

I'm authorized to sign you up

for a two-year non-refundable subscription,

and I did.

Fuck!!

Call back anytime, Homer.

You look stressed.

Enough of this shit. - Fuck yourself!

Come with me, right now.

Fuck, man.

You're going in that pool, Homer.

You need to end this conspiracy loop.

You tell him, booty shorts.

You can call me booty shorts all you want

but I'm standing here in front of y'all,

dick and nuts fighting over that last gasp of air.

And you know what?

They both lost?

I don't even fuckin' care.

What I do care about is you, Homer.

No one's gonna abduct you again.

The pyramids are just stone triangles

and 'Oumuamua's just a giant space rock.

Get over it.

. Yeah!

Now hold my hand.

No chance.

I don't have eye or ear protection.

I don't want pulmonary edema or chronic bronchitis.

Homer, hold my fuckin' hand.

I'm not holding your fuckin' hand.

I'll hold whatever you like, short shorts.

And you, the other fella!

Stop being such a little biatch!

Gladys!

Get in the fucking pool!

I think everybody should do

whatever the fuck Gladys says!

I like Gladys.

Homer!

Homer! Homer! - Backwoods, stop!

I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

. Yes you are doing it.

Homer! Homer!

It's not happening. It's not happening!

Homer! Homer!

It's not happening!

Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer!

Come on, Homer. Take the hand!

Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer!

I can't. I can't. - Homer! Homer! Homer!

Come on, Homer. You can do this.

You got this.

You can do it.

There you go. Yeah!

♪ Who'd you drag around my door ♪

I did it!

He did! He fuckin' did it!

♪ They won't be here no more

♪ Who'd you leave ♪

Hey, girls. Hey. Hey.

Let's not tell your moms

how much daddy and his friends drank today.

Yeah!

Fuck off! Fuck off!

Fuck off!

I can feel my power draining away.

. We're all dying.

Oh ho ho!

Power!

Guys, the only way to stop the heat pumping

is to cut the power and trip the breaker!

It might electrocute you,

it's 220 volts.

But use your right hand

and hold your left arm against your body,

the current will ground out through your feet

and won't pass through your left arm, frying your heart!

Hop to it, Leonard.

Electrician and engineer both start with "E".

That's close enough!

Come on, Leonard.

Tell my wife I loved her

since the moment I laid eyes on her.

Cut the fuckin' wire!

Cut the wire.

Come on. Be brave.

. Cut the wire!

Noooo!

The door sticks!

No, it doesn't.

. Oh.

. Marcus, you're an angel!

What?

I will live to do sex! Marcus!

Get the fuck off of me!

Marcus, how did you find us?

RoboMedhi called.

He told me to say, "Leonard, you suck".

Medhi! - We're free.

. I gotta rehydrate my tongue.

. You really don't sweat.

Ah!

Fuck off, man.

Wake up! There we go.

Oh, your kids are so cute,

it makes me wanna have more.

Five hundred for the pair.

I'mma good for it.

No more beers and definitely no more kids!

You're paying for the cab. Let's go!

I'll ride in the trunk then if you want me to.

Good luck, boys. - Thanks guys. God.

Oh my- Jesus. You're all red and rashy!

You've got a chlorine allergy?

No. Think they're relief hives,

coupled with burning tears of pride!

Well, you face down the chlorine demon and won.

Yeah. Well, there's chlorine in tap water.

Yeah, and this fucker takes twenty minute showers.

Yeah. I'm a little crazy.

You are a little crazy.

And we love you for it.

Chelsea, thanks for the awesome party.

Anything else we can do before we leave?

Place looks pretty good, I think.

No. I've already called the cleaners.

Oh, but please, never wear those again.

Richard Simmons is rolling over in his grave.

Come on, we'll get you some calamine lotion.

I can't see. Is that a bad thing?

. Hey, booty shorts.

That was a nice moment you had with your little fwiends.

Here's your pants, washed and pressed.

You washed my pants?

What'd they smell or something?

Do I look like the sort of person

who goes around sniffing people's pants?

No.

Well I am.

Next time, bring your dad over.

He is a rig.

Oh. A real DILF.

Okay. I didn't know you knew my dad.

I don't. Yet.

I'll tell him you said hi.

Tell him to bring his laundry.

They smell good. Thanks.

. Oh my god,

you smell like a fetus.

. Agua! Agua!

. It looks like a third degree! Take him to the medic!

Safety first, guys.

Water? Water?

Hey, you got any of that sandwich?

We rubbed it all over you, man.

Ahh-ha-ha!

You can drive.

Steph, you coming with us?

I'll chase ya.

Fuck off! - You fuck off!

. I hate today.

I swear to God,

I better not have to push this van again, Homer.

Relax. I got the alternator fixed.

Yeah, you said that last time.

Six fuckin' blocks.

You got a free leg workout.

You're welcome.

What's that smell?

Heartbreak.

Dried up dick tears.

We're getting you back to work tomorrow.

I'll find the money.

Thank fuck.

Okay, I lied. I didn't get the alternator fixed.

Fuck sakes. - Give it a little boost.

Please?

Fuck!

Thanks, Todd. Sorry, buddy!

Push?

Come on, put your legs into it!

. Is the fuckin' hand brake on or what?

Hey! It's in neutral!

. Fuuuuuck!

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ Nobody hurts and nobody cries

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ Nobody drowns and nobody dies

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ It's better than slander, it's better than lies

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ Nobody hurts and nobody cries ♪

Excuse me, sir.

Uh, could you please help me down the stairs?

What the fuck?

. What?

Oh! I remember you.

Hey, buddy!

How could I forget you, Medhi?

The biggest jerk around.

Hey, hey, hey. Where you going?

Come on, let's dance. Huh?

Hey! Ah! I'm falling! Ow!

Ouch!

See you never, Robonerd.

You bloody bastard!

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ Nobody hurts

♪ Might as well go for a soda

♪ Nobody drowns and nobody dies

♪ It's better than slander, it's better than lies

♪ Might as well go for a soda