Original subtitles

Good morning, Los Angeles. It's a beautiful day out there.

High of 85 with nothing but sunshine and blue skies.

This just in, for all our lady listeners out there, reports from several

counties say a strange virus affecting only women is going around.

So whether you're a mother, a sister, a wife, or a girlfriend, do your fellas a

favor. Go home, get some rest, and take care of yourselves.

What the hell?

Dave, are you looking at this?

I think she needs some help.

What the hell?

Ah!

Dear diary, this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.

I shouldn't be going to college. I barely passed my GED, and it's not like

going to ever fit in with any of those Alpha Beta Gamma girls anyway.

Besides, a private Christian school isn't exactly what I had imagined when

new foster mom told me my family would pay for my education.

But it's not that I'm not grateful for everything the Smiths have done.

After all, they are the only foster family that accepted me.

Well, most of them anyway.

I think the reason I'm really depressed is because of Sarah.

She's supposed to be like an older sister, but she does nothing but make

me and put me down.

This is supposed to be like my family now, but it's no different than any

foster home.

Sarah's the daughter they really love. I'm telling you, Mom, it's going to be

perfect. Claire and Kathy are already on board for this weekend.

We're going to drive to Vegas, spend two to three days in the hotel, do girly

stuff.

I haven't really quite worked out all the details, but I promise it won't be

expensive.

Okay, and what about your sister?

Mom, really?

She's already going to be part of the bridal party.

Does Hallie really have to be part of the bachelorette, too?

Sarah... Hallie has had a very difficult life. You know all about her history.

Now, wouldn't it be the Christian thing to do to offer her some joy,

especially in light of your many blessings?

It's not my fault. She's a complete loser.

Sarah.

How many years did I spend raising you with my own?

You and Dad first. That's right.

When I met your father, it was his love and his faith alone that rescued me from

a life very similar to Hallie's.

Look, I still bear the scars of my bad choices.

Except for this one.

Jesus saves.

Because he does.

Anyway, this is a big reason why you and your father have...

Become my entire life.

And I want you to have everything the world has to offer, Sarah. But it's

important to live with grace and humility.

And it was a family decision to take Hallie in. And I expect you to treat her

like family.

She'll never be my family.

Do you still want your father and me to pay for this weekend?

Yeah.

Okay. Here.

Come here. Yeah.

I know it's not easy.

It's important to think about what Jesus would do. Okay.

Hallie, sweetheart, can you come into the kitchen?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Sarah.

Hallie, Sarah would like to ask you something.

Hallie, would you like to come with me and my friends to my bachelorette party

this weekend?

Really?

Yes, and first of all, she would love to have you join her.

But that's not all.

She has offered to let you plan the entire trip.

Um, what?

Isn't that great?

She would like you to plan the entire trip.

The destination, the theme, hotel, whatever you like.

Isn't that wonderful?

Wow.

That's amazing.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Sarah.

That's wonderful.

Okay. Well, you have a lot of planning to do, so why don't you run on? Yeah.

Okay.

Before you say anything, ask yourself, what would Jesus do?

I'm beyond pissed.

She's probably going to force us to go to some stupid Wiccan convention or

something.

Ugh, I can't believe it.

My life is so hard.

This was supposed to be my weekend.

My last days of freedom before marrying Jimmy.

And this bitch is literally ruining it.

It's all my mother.

And I swear, if she wasn't paying for everything, I would just tell her to

off.

Oh, thank you for saying that, Blair.

You're so sweet.

You'll always be my bestie.

Unlike Hallie, that fucking loser, bitch -ass whore.

She will never, and I repeat, never, ever be my sister.

I'm here for you. In case we get disconnected, though, may I please have

name and telephone number?

Okay.

It's Haley White.

My number's 323 -445 -881. Thank you, Haley.

So what's troubling you right now?

I just don't know if we can do it anymore.

I have an idea.

It is that it goes against our protocol, but why don't you come to my place

and... We can talk this through together in person.

Okay. Are you sure?

I'm not alone here. I promise you, it'll be a safe place.

Okay.

Thank you.

Come to 3130 Eden Gardens, part of 5, okay?

I'll be waiting for you.

um

Thank you for coming to see me. Thank you so much.

I really needed this.

Okay. You're in a safe place now.

Think of this as the first step on your journey to healing.

You are, dear.

So you were telling me about your sister?

Um, yeah, Sarah.

She's getting married in a few weeks, and her mother's forcing her to let me

plan the bachelorette party, and she's furious.

I overheard her telling her friends how much she hates me.

No matter what I do, it's never going to be good enough for her.

What makes you think you're not good enough?

I don't know.

Different interests?

I kind of like the darker side of things.

The darker side of things?

Yeah.

Like alternative music.

Poetry and spirituality.

Have you ever experimented with Tantra?

No,

never heard of that.

What is it? I'm really interested in learning about all different types of

beliefs and experiences.

Is that weird?

You know what? It's not weird.

It's what makes you special.

Do you know what these are?

You can take a look. They're pretty, aren't they?

Yeah.

They're chakra stones.

Oh, what is that?

Well, they're used for healing.

The chosen.

How do you know if you're chosen?

Well... If you wanted to learn about it, maybe you can have a healing session.

Really? I really like that.

How do you do it?

Well, we can do one today.

It's really simple.

You would just need to lay down, get undressed, get relaxed, and

I'll put each of these stones on the corresponding chakra in your body.

And as you allow yourself to be healed, the energy of the stones mixes with the

energy of your body. And you'll feel healing move through you.

And each chakra will heal an emotion in your body. But you have to be willing to

be open and receptive.

Body, mind, and spirit.

Okay?

Yeah.

I think I've been naked in front of too many people before.

It's all right, dear.

I'm a killer. It's fine.

That's perfect.

Just lie down? Just lie down with your head over there. Okay. And your feet

here. Okay?

Yeah.

Okay, now, just relax.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep, deep breath.

And I'm going to come around and I'm going to put chakra stones on all of

chakras.

You're totally safe and completely relaxed.

All right.

So we're going to start with your crown chakra of spirituality.

And as I place the stone here, you can feel the spiritual energy move through

you.

Feel the God and Goddess light energy just come through the crown of your

into your face, and all the way down your body.

Can you feel that?

Good.

And now,

Coming to your third eye chakra.

Your point of intuition.

Spiritual awareness.

Just allow that feeling to move through you now.

I can feel it.

Just take a deep breath.

Breathe deeply and feel the spiritual energy move through you now.

Moving through you.

And now we come to your throat chakra.

Just feel the energy move through your throat.

This is your point of creative expression.

you begin to feel yourself becoming

so expressive in the world.

And now,

moving down,

Into your heart chakra.

I'm feeling the energy of love and support.

Move into your heart.

This is the center of loving expression.

I can really feel it.

You're quite special, my dear.

Do you feel that?

And now just breathing deeply.

Breathing deeply, my love.

Moving down from your heart chakra

into your sacral chakra.

Source of power, self -awareness,

fulfillment in the world.

Feel all the energy move down through your body.

and move into your belly button.

I can feel it everywhere.

Allow it to move through you.

You are one of the chosen ones.

You are so special and so unique.

I'm feeling the energy move into your second chakra now.

Feeling it move down into your second chakra.

Your source of sexual creative energy.

Your source of womanhood.

Your source of sexual power.

Allow it to move into you.

And now we go down into your root chakra.

I can really feel it everywhere.

Yeah, you can.

Allow that feeling to move through you.

And back up your body.

Down to the base of your head.

Feel the healing energy move through into your neck

and into your throat.

Allow

yourself

to just breathe.

Feeling self -expression.

Beautiful being of life.

And you are loved.

And you are loved.

And feel it now in your heart.

Love energy.

Move into your heart.

Feel the healing power.

around your heart.

And down into your solar plexus.

Feeling the position of power.

Feeling all of the godly energy down into your solar plexus.

everywhere. So much. You are chosen.

space time moves through your body and you're one of the special ones

and you're one of the chosen ones

and allow yourself to

be receptive to the energy of the universe as it moves through you

of your head down to the tips of your toes

and back up again and

into your root chakra and feel

the power of the energy of the universe in your root chakra

and allow it to build

open up to the possibility of the most energy you've ever

experienced in your life.

top of your head, down to the tips of your toes, and allow

yourself to breathe.

You have to be.

See you around, man.

What time is it?

Oh, no,

no, no, no, no. I gotta get back and plan that bachelorette.

Oh, my mom's gonna kill me.

Oh, my God,

it's okay.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay. I mean, I don't even have time.

The weekend's coming up.

Don't worry about that.

so pissed if I don't find a good one.

I just have so much stuff to do. I don't even know where to start right now.

Oh, so tough.

I hope it will all work out.

Yeah, hopefully.

If I can figure out something to do in time.

If I get home in time.

But I really have to go.

I went to a really wonderful play.

Okay.

The other day, I don't, maybe it'll help.

I went there for some, it's kind of a women's wellness retreat for them.

Dr.

Elixir's wellness retreat.

It's just a beautiful community. It might be good for a bachelor party.

That's actually a really good idea.

See, the universe has a way of working things out.

Yeah.

Isn't it beautiful?

As long as they have time for the weekend still, hopefully you can book

something like that.

It's no Vegas, but it might be better.

It might be.

It's a good idea.

Why don't you call them?

Yeah, I'm going to go home and do that right now.

Thank you so much. You're such a beautiful thing.

We'll ever see you again.

I'm sure our paths will cross again with our spirits now.

Thank you.

Mantis checking in.

Subject 13 has been infected.

I repeat, Subject 13 has been infected.

Process underway.

Hello, Reverend?

Yes, this is Dana Smith.

No, everything's... well...

Everything's fine.

I'm actually calling because I think I might have made a mistake.

Our foster daughter, Hallie, she's been gone a really long time, and

it's out of character for her.

I just think I might have put too much pressure on her when I told her that she

could plan Sarah's...

Bachelorette party.

Just, you know, so she could feel important and to boost her confidence.

It might have really, I don't know, been too much for her. And I just feel

terrible.

You know how important it is to bring everyone close together.

Well, if it's all right, I'll check in with you later in case anything.

Great. Thank you so much, Reverend.

Okay. Bye -bye.

Found some more magazines.

Oh,

that's nice.

That's okay.

Do you know what Jimmy's wearing at all?

Any idea? We haven't even gotten to that part yet, Mom.

Okay.

A look.

An article on compromise.

Like how I shouldn't have to compromise because it's my wedding.

You know, it's important to consider other people in your life. Not really.

Yes.

Hallie, where have you been?

Mom.

Sarah. I did it. I planned the perfect bachelor weekend.

I'm so excited. Here.

Take a look.

It's a wellness retreat.

And, better yet, I've had everything sorted out. We're leaving tomorrow

It's all set.

Good job.

Mom.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Sarah, language.

Do you really think that I don't know what you're doing?

She's trying to sabotage my weekend because I'm getting married and she's

Calm down, Sarah. What?

Both of you.

I thought you would like it. I'm just trying to help.

Don't try that. I can see right through you.

You're just jealous.

You don't want anybody else to be happy, do you? Are you crazy?

I'm not jealous.

I just wanted to give you a good bachelorette.

You really think that's what I want? A holistic healing retreat?

Really?

of your satanic ritual.

Wait a minute. Where is there Satan in here? Mom, it's not satanic. It's yoga.

Are you kidding?

It's relaxing.

Sarah, you like yoga. Mom, stay out of this, okay?

Look, I don't care what you had planned, and I don't know what you had planned,

but you need to cancel it right away. Okay, that is no way to talk. No, you

what? You're not going to Vegas, and you're coming with me because it's what

chose.

if I choose not to go? Huh, Hallie?

What if I choose not to go?

Sarah.

Hallie, are you okay?

Oh, look, now she's faking illness.

Knock it off. Just knock it off.

Hallie, put your head between your knees.

Okay, you know what, Sarah?

I've had enough of your behavior.

Now you will accept Hallie's offer of the retreat.

If you want the wedding to happen at all.

Mom, that's not fair, though.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm putting my foot down. You have been so mean and so

difficult. You are going to apologize to your sister, first of all. Then you're

going to accept the offer of the retreat.

Okay? Or I will tell your father to withhold all payments.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm just going to go lay down.

It's fine.

Okay. I'm going to walk you upstairs.

Okay.

And Sarah, go to your room and pray.

And when you're done praying, call Cassie and Blair and tell them that

been a change of plan.

And be ready tomorrow morning to go to the retreat.

Thanks, Mom.

I don't know what got into me. I'm just really, really tired, and I'm so

thirsty.

What are your symptoms, dear? Tell me how you're feeling.

Did you eat something strange today?

In fact, where were you all day?

No, no, no. Keeping something from me? No, no. I think I'm just stressed. I'm

just, you know, I'm really tired, and I'm dehydrated, and I'm sure if I just

sleep on it, I'll feel better in the morning.

And I'm going to get you some water. Okay.

I'm so thirsty. Thirsty girl.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay, let's get you into bed.

Okay.

There you go.

All right.

Just make sure that you are perfectly comfortable.

Lift your head.

Is this soft enough for you?

Yeah. I can get another pillow.

No, no, I'm fine. Are you sure? Yeah. Because it's not a problem. I can go get

one. No, I'm okay. Thank you.

Okay. I'm just tucking you in.

Sure. You are really a rug.

A rug and a rug.

Okay? Yeah, thank you. Okay.

Why don't we pray?

Yeah. Okay?

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for all our numerous blessings.

And we ask that you bless Hallie and bring her joy in spite

of her sickness.

And we ask for patience in guiding Sarah towards acceptance.

Please bless our blended family and just...

Provide us with more love and closeness.

Amen. Amen.

Good. Yeah.

Okay.

You get some rest and we'll... Well, we'll just see tomorrow.

Okay. And remember, I got you these rocks.

Little pillars of strength.

Believe in miracles.

You know,

I love you like a daughter.

Thanks mom.

I love you too.

Come here!

Ellie, honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?

Oh, my goodness.

Baby Jesus, protect me. Baby Jesus, protect me. Ellie, what's wrong with

Come on, we still have to pick up Kathy and Blair.

Let's go.

It's like it's haunted.

I don't think your sister's doing okay.

She's faking it.

Seriously, what a bitch.

I can't believe she sabotaged you like this, Sarah.

This place is a dump.

Probably filled with disgusting hippies.

Whatever. If it sucks, we'll just leave Holly here and go.

Vegas. Oh, stop it, you guys.

Yoga can be fun, and this retreat is awesome.

Holly?

Holly, honey, are you okay?

We're here now.

Do you need help getting out?

Do you need help getting out?

Um, we're here for the doctor's elixir wellness retreat.

It's for her bachelorette party.

Ugh, some wellness retreat.

More like a dyke retreat.

Good afternoon, ladies.

My name is Dr. Helibeth Elixir.

Welcome to my wellness retreat.

You'll have to excuse my orderly. She has been a most faithful disciple here

the retreat, and an early participant in some of my more experimental...

And you treat them.

I assure you, she's completely zen.

This retreat focuses on awakening the female spirit.

There will be no cell phones, no drinking, and no men.

Is that understood?

I'm currently occupied with other matters, but I've prepared a full

you all, including a personalized program for the bride -to -be.

Please follow my orderly to your assigned room and wait for my

Tell me, which one of you arranged this trip?

Excellent. I have a special gift for you.

Thank you ladies.

I trust you will all make yourselves at home.

You brought me to this disgusting place.

I don't even want to be here.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

We should be in Vegas right now without you. You're so disgusting.

The rooms are scary.

Do they have any fun things to do here? Like massage?

Is there room service? Is that at least 24 -7?

God.

What about delivery? Can I order food delivery here if I don't like the food?

And welcome to the bridal meditation zone.

You may have noticed that the doors are locked.

Where am I?

So, it appears that our patient, Holly White,

has been in recent contact with female secretions. Is that so? What?

Good.

And she's been experiencing hallucinations? Yes.

And are they sapphic in nature?

Sapphic? Lesbian.

Yes. I can't stop seeing women.

Excellent.

And extreme wetness. She has extreme wetness?

Excellent.

Right according to schedule. In fact, I've never seen such progression.

What's happening to me, doctor?

I didn't mean to do that with that woman. I never meant to sleep with her.

I swear I'm not a lesbian, really.

Is God punishing me?

No, no, no.

You're not being punished.

You've been turned.

Turned?

Turned into what?

All of a sudden, I'm so thirsty.

No need to fight the urge, Allie.

You are our first successful patient, Vera.

Please, doctor.

I need something to drink.

You will drink.

I'm here to quench your thirst.

a full patient zero it's time to turn the other

take her to my quarters and

have her freshen up and then you know what to do

Separating us from Sarah like that.

Well, you heard the doctor. They probably have something planned.

Like a spa treatment or something.

Oh, and the nerve of those nurse ladies.

Forcing us in here. I mean, we don't even have room service.

Well, I don't think this place has room service, Blair.

Whatever. I'm over this. I'm going to try and text Sarah.

I know a cell phone.

Unbelievable!

Okay, seriously? What the fuck is going on? This whole locked door

nonsense? Like, what are we, prisoners here?

My dad was a lawyer, okay? And this is unlawful. This breaks laws. This is like

kidnapping, okay?

Maybe let's just see our friends. I mean, we should all be together and...

Can we not enjoy this together?

Oh, yes. We should just all be in prison together, Cassie. No. This is much more

serious than this. This is supposed to be a yoga retreat.

Like, I see a yoga mat.

I have yoga clothes. But I don't see a fucking yoga instructor.

Do you?

Like, what are we supposed to do? Just sit here and twiddle our thumbs?

Hello, ladies.

And welcome to the yoga chamber.

You may have noticed that the doors are locked.

This is for your own beneficial advancement in awakening the

female spirit.

For the next hour, I'm going to join you on a very intense journey.

Are you ready?

I want everything to melt away.

Breathe in very deeply.

Now exhale. tail and let it all out.

I would like you to reach your hands far up into the sky.

Now slowly bend down all the way to the ground.

Touch your toes.

Okay, I want you to put your left hand down on the ground and turn and put your

right hand up to the sky.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Okay, now I want you to reach that hand back behind you and grab your left

thigh.

That's perfect.

Now while in that position, I want you to lift your right leg off

the ground.

Feel at peace.

I want you to feel absolute peace. Tranquility right now.

That's the purpose.

Okay, now put your right foot back on the ground.

Reach your right hand back and cross it over your left.

Breathe deep again.

And on your exhale, stand all the way up.

Now go ahead and take a seat on the ground.

And put your hands at heart center.

Take a deep breath. I want you to become one with your female spirit.

Keep breathing.

And I want you to go down into a plank.

Now bring your left knee up to your left elbow.

And now, with your right hand, I want you to stretch and reach as far as

possible in front of you.

Keep breathing.

That was great.

This is going to feel amazing when you're done.

I want you to flip over and lay on

your back.

Now put your legs up into the air and grab each calf and

pull back as far as you can. Doesn't that feel lovely?

Yes.

You don't have to answer her, it's a video.

Every time you inhale, take all those negative thoughts and when you exhale,

them all go. Negative thoughts.

And really, truly become one with your female spirit.

Thank god that's over.

Finally!

Wow, Holly!

You look amazing!

Did you get a makeover?

Yeah, I made the last job.

What is this? Looks disgusting.

Friends, I brought you some of Dr. Lifter's blooming tea.

What's that?

That's Ludi in the bottom.

It's her patent infusion tea, and it awakens your female spirit.

Look what it's done for me. I'm cured.

Sounds like medicine.

It's the best thing I've ever tried so many months.

Well, I'm not drinking it, so forget about it now.

Wow, Blair.

It's not bad.

Mmm.

It's actually really, really delicious.

I bet she's drinking one of those right now.

Well, if there's drinking out, I guess I'll try it too.

Oh, God.

See? Isn't it delicious?

Isn't it delicious?

Holy shit.

All right, let's get back to our poses.

Yeah, we have to finish her yoga.

Downward dog.

I know what you can do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh my god!

We've all drunk according to the doctor's schedule.