Original subtitles

Thanks for watching. Thank you for

Thanks for watching. Thank you for

Thanks for watching. Thank you for applauding so much.

applauding so much.

applauding so much. We are beaming TO YOU FROM our studio in

We are beaming TO YOU FROM our studio in

We are beaming TO YOU FROM our studio in the city of angels where tomorrow just a

the city of angels where tomorrow just a

the city of angels where tomorrow just a about a fivemile about a 90minute drive

about a fivemile about a 90minute drive

about a fivemile about a 90minute drive but 5 miles from here. The World Series

but 5 miles from here. The World Series

but 5 miles from here. The World Series champion Los Angeles Dodgers are uh

champion Los Angeles Dodgers are uh

champion Los Angeles Dodgers are uh looking to start a three pete with a

looking to start a three pete with a

looking to start a three pete with a loaded baked potato of a team. Tomorrow

loaded baked potato of a team. Tomorrow

loaded baked potato of a team. Tomorrow is opening day but the season started

is opening day but the season started

is opening day but the season started tonight on Netflix of all places. They

tonight on Netflix of all places. They

tonight on Netflix of all places. They had a game between the Yankees and the

had a game between the Yankees and the

had a game between the Yankees and the Giants. They call it opening night.

Giants. They call it opening night.

Giants. They call it opening night. Opening night, you know, is crucial in

Opening night, you know, is crucial in

Opening night, you know, is crucial in baseball because if you lose the first

baseball because if you lose the first

baseball because if you lose the first game, it's very difficult to get any

game, it's very difficult to get any

game, it's very difficult to get any momentum going into the final 161. Um,

momentum going into the final 161. Um,

momentum going into the final 161. Um, this is the first Major League Baseball

this is the first Major League Baseball

this is the first Major League Baseball game ever on Netflix. And after all the

game ever on Netflix. And after all the

game ever on Netflix. And after all the hype, it turned out to be just like any

hype, it turned out to be just like any

hype, it turned out to be just like any other game, except for the seventh

other game, except for the seventh

other game, except for the seventh inning when both teams were replaced by

inning when both teams were replaced by

inning when both teams were replaced by the cast of Stranger Things and Steve

the cast of Stranger Things and Steve

the cast of Stranger Things and Steve Harrington hit two home runs off the

Harrington hit two home runs off the

Harrington hit two home runs off the demogorgan. So, congrats. Speaking of

demogorgan. So, congrats. Speaking of

demogorgan. So, congrats. Speaking of demogorgans, it was a weird day at the

demogorgans, it was a weird day at the

demogorgans, it was a weird day at the White House today where our first lady,

White House today where our first lady,

White House today where our first lady, Melania Trump, hosted the second day of

Melania Trump, hosted the second day of

Melania Trump, hosted the second day of her global summit titled Fostering the

her global summit titled Fostering the

her global summit titled Fostering the Future Together, which is basically a

Future Together, which is basically a

Future Together, which is basically a commercial for AI in education. And she

commercial for AI in education. And she

commercial for AI in education. And she made quite an entrance. This, you can

made quite an entrance. This, you can

made quite an entrance. This, you can see um they really are looking for the

see um they really are looking for the

see um they really are looking for the future because she had an unusual

future because she had an unusual

future because she had an unusual escort.

escort.

escort. One of those robots is Melania. Okay.

One of those robots is Melania. Okay.

One of those robots is Melania. Okay. The other is Figure 3, which is a

The other is Figure 3, which is a

The other is Figure 3, which is a humanoid that can complete simple

humanoid that can complete simple

humanoid that can complete simple household chores like doing laundry,

household chores like doing laundry,

household chores like doing laundry, loading the dishwasher, and it can teach

loading the dishwasher, and it can teach

loading the dishwasher, and it can teach your children. And then in the corner

your children. And then in the corner

your children. And then in the corner there of the screen is the French first

there of the screen is the French first

there of the screen is the French first lady, Bridget Mcronone, who picked a

lady, Bridget Mcronone, who picked a

lady, Bridget Mcronone, who picked a weird day to visit. No one

weird day to visit. No one

weird day to visit. No one no one's exactly sure what they should

no one's exactly sure what they should

no one's exactly sure what they should do here because you know the first she's

do here because you know the first she's

do here because you know the first she's kind of suspicious walking alongside

kind of suspicious walking alongside

kind of suspicious walking alongside this robot as it approaches the first

this robot as it approaches the first

this robot as it approaches the first lady of France with Melania stops and

lady of France with Melania stops and

lady of France with Melania stops and then um

Sakre blue and it only got scarier from

Sakre blue and it only got scarier from

Sakre blue and it only got scarier from there as Melania pleasantly informed us

there as Melania pleasantly informed us

there as Melania pleasantly informed us that we will all soon be replaced by

that we will all soon be replaced by

that we will all soon be replaced by machines.

machines.

machines. The future of AI is personified.

The future of AI is personified.

The future of AI is personified. It will be formed in the shape of

It will be formed in the shape of

It will be formed in the shape of humans.

humans.

humans. Very soon, artificial intelligence will

Very soon, artificial intelligence will

Very soon, artificial intelligence will move from our mobile phones to humanoids

move from our mobile phones to humanoids

move from our mobile phones to humanoids that deliver utility.

that deliver utility.

that deliver utility. >> Did she say utility or or fertility?

>> Did she say utility or or fertility?

>> Did she say utility or or fertility? Because that is competition in the

Because that is competition in the

Because that is competition in the bedroom her husband does not need. Maybe

bedroom her husband does not need. Maybe

bedroom her husband does not need. Maybe someday we will have a robot president.

someday we will have a robot president.

someday we will have a robot president. You know, couldn't be worse than what we

You know, couldn't be worse than what we

You know, couldn't be worse than what we have right now. We did we got a sneak

have right now. We did we got a sneak

have right now. We did we got a sneak peek at what might be in store for team

peek at what might be in store for team

peek at what might be in store for team Trump come November at the elections. I

Trump come November at the elections. I

Trump come November at the elections. I mentioned last night Mr. Ban Mailin

mentioned last night Mr. Ban Mailin

mentioned last night Mr. Ban Mailin voting voted by mail in a special

voting voted by mail in a special

voting voted by mail in a special election in Palm Beach. This is a

election in Palm Beach. This is a

election in Palm Beach. This is a district Trump won by double digits two

district Trump won by double digits two

district Trump won by double digits two years ago and the district he lives in.

years ago and the district he lives in.

years ago and the district he lives in. But seems like maybe the magic is

But seems like maybe the magic is

But seems like maybe the magic is wearing off because last night a

wearing off because last night a

wearing off because last night a Democrat, Emily Gregory, scored a major

Democrat, Emily Gregory, scored a major

Democrat, Emily Gregory, scored a major upset over a Trump

upset over a Trump

upset over a Trump a Republican

a Republican

a Republican that Trump endorsed. She won uh once

that Trump endorsed. She won uh once

that Trump endorsed. She won uh once solidly red seat in the state

solidly red seat in the state

solidly red seat in the state legislature, which is a real kick in the

legislature, which is a real kick in the

legislature, which is a real kick in the golf balls for moralardo. Uh let's just

golf balls for moralardo. Uh let's just

golf balls for moralardo. Uh let's just say there are a lot of tiny fist-sized

say there are a lot of tiny fist-sized

say there are a lot of tiny fist-sized holes getting punched in the White House

holes getting punched in the White House

holes getting punched in the White House drywall tonight. Two days ago, Trump

drywall tonight. Two days ago, Trump

drywall tonight. Two days ago, Trump said the Republican candidate John

said the Republican candidate John

said the Republican candidate John Maples had his complete and total

Maples had his complete and total

Maples had his complete and total endorsement and that John will never let

endorsement and that John will never let

endorsement and that John will never let you down. And he's right. He won't

you down. And he's right. He won't

you down. And he's right. He won't because he's back to work as a financial

because he's back to work as a financial

because he's back to work as a financial planner. He lost the race. The idea that

planner. He lost the race. The idea that

planner. He lost the race. The idea that Trump voted by mail at the same time

Trump voted by mail at the same time

Trump voted by mail at the same time he's trying to ram this uh save my fat

he's trying to ram this uh save my fat

he's trying to ram this uh save my fat orange ass act through Congress right

orange ass act through Congress right

orange ass act through Congress right now, which is a bill that would do away

now, which is a bill that would do away

now, which is a bill that would do away with mailin ballots has put leaders in

with mailin ballots has put leaders in

with mailin ballots has put leaders in the GOP in a bit of a pickle. The

the GOP in a bit of a pickle. The

the GOP in a bit of a pickle. The squeaker of the house, Mike Johnson, was

squeaker of the house, Mike Johnson, was

squeaker of the house, Mike Johnson, was asked about this latest act of brazen

asked about this latest act of brazen

asked about this latest act of brazen hypocrisy and did a little tap dance

hypocrisy and did a little tap dance

hypocrisy and did a little tap dance around it.

around it.

around it. >> President Trump has railed against mail

>> President Trump has railed against mail

>> President Trump has railed against mail and voting as rigged. He said it's a

and voting as rigged. He said it's a

and voting as rigged. He said it's a form of cheating um as recently as

form of cheating um as recently as

form of cheating um as recently as Monday. But in yesterday's special

Monday. But in yesterday's special

Monday. But in yesterday's special election in Florida, he voted by mail.

election in Florida, he voted by mail.

election in Florida, he voted by mail. How do you square those two statements?

How do you square those two statements?

How do you square those two statements? >> Look, I think some states have handled

>> Look, I think some states have handled

>> Look, I think some states have handled uh mail in balloting well. I think

uh mail in balloting well. I think

uh mail in balloting well. I think Florida is a good example of that. They

Florida is a good example of that. They

Florida is a good example of that. They don't allow fraud and they have great

don't allow fraud and they have great

don't allow fraud and they have great systems. That is not true in other parts

systems. That is not true in other parts

systems. That is not true in other parts of the country and that is the concern

of the country and that is the concern

of the country and that is the concern especially in a state like California.

especially in a state like California.

especially in a state like California. >> Right. Right.

>> Right. Right.

>> Right. Right. Florida, as we all know, is very button

Florida, as we all know, is very button

Florida, as we all know, is very button down, very normal. Whereas California,

down, very normal. Whereas California,

down, very normal. Whereas California, uh, it's a mad house. Listen, I've lived

uh, it's a mad house. Listen, I've lived

uh, it's a mad house. Listen, I've lived in both states. I've lived in Florida.

in both states. I've lived in Florida.

in both states. I've lived in Florida. I've lived in California. The only thing

I've lived in California. The only thing

I've lived in California. The only thing Florida does better is get manatees

Florida does better is get manatees

Florida does better is get manatees addicted to meth. All right? If you're

addicted to meth. All right? If you're

addicted to meth. All right? If you're looking to buy a hot dog from a woman in

looking to buy a hot dog from a woman in

looking to buy a hot dog from a woman in a g-string, Florida is the place you

a g-string, Florida is the place you

a g-string, Florida is the place you want to be. Otherwise, you're better off

want to be. Otherwise, you're better off

want to be. Otherwise, you're better off here. We are now on day 26 of Operation

here. We are now on day 26 of Operation

here. We are now on day 26 of Operation Epic Fury. And while most of America

Epic Fury. And while most of America

Epic Fury. And while most of America doesn't seem to feel like it's going

doesn't seem to feel like it's going

doesn't seem to feel like it's going great, the president very much does.

great, the president very much does.

great, the president very much does. Largely because according to NBC News,

Largely because according to NBC News,

Largely because according to NBC News, Trump gets a sizzle reel every day that

Trump gets a sizzle reel every day that

Trump gets a sizzle reel every day that only shows us attacking them. NBC said

only shows us attacking them. NBC said

only shows us attacking them. NBC said there's a daily montage. It typically

there's a daily montage. It typically

there's a daily montage. It typically runs for about 2 minutes, sometimes

runs for about 2 minutes, sometimes

runs for about 2 minutes, sometimes longer. He sees it every day. One

longer. He sees it every day. One

longer. He sees it every day. One official described the videos as a

official described the videos as a

official described the videos as a series of clips of stuff blowing up. and

series of clips of stuff blowing up. and

series of clips of stuff blowing up. and his video briefings are said to be

his video briefings are said to be

his video briefings are said to be fueling concerns among some of Trump's

fueling concerns among some of Trump's

fueling concerns among some of Trump's allies that he might not be receiving or

allies that he might not be receiving or

allies that he might not be receiving or absorbing the complete picture of the

absorbing the complete picture of the

absorbing the complete picture of the war. He's only seeing the positive

war. He's only seeing the positive

war. He's only seeing the positive stuff, which helps to explain why he

stuff, which helps to explain why he

stuff, which helps to explain why he keeps saying, "We already won the war

keeps saying, "We already won the war

keeps saying, "We already won the war that is still going on." I mean, do you

that is still going on." I mean, do you

that is still going on." I mean, do you know how many lives and how much money

know how many lives and how much money

know how many lives and how much money we could save if we just quietly brought

we could save if we just quietly brought

we could save if we just quietly brought everyone home from Iran and showed him

everyone home from Iran and showed him

everyone home from Iran and showed him Call of Duty clips instead?

Call of Duty clips instead?

Call of Duty clips instead? White House spokes Caroline Levit

White House spokes Caroline Levit

White House spokes Caroline Levit released a statement pushing back on the

released a statement pushing back on the

released a statement pushing back on the story. She said, "Anyone who has been

story. She said, "Anyone who has been

story. She said, "Anyone who has been present for conversations with President

present for conversations with President

present for conversations with President Trump knows he actively seeks and

Trump knows he actively seeks and

Trump knows he actively seeks and solicits the opinions of everyone in the

solicits the opinions of everyone in the

solicits the opinions of everyone in the room and expects fullthroated honesty

room and expects fullthroated honesty

room and expects fullthroated honesty from all his top advisers."

from all his top advisers."

from all his top advisers." That sounds like him, right? I mean,

That sounds like him, right? I mean,

That sounds like him, right? I mean, this is the guy who said, "I know more

this is the guy who said, "I know more

this is the guy who said, "I know more about ISIS than all the generals."

about ISIS than all the generals."

about ISIS than all the generals." That's Donald, very collaborative Donald

That's Donald, very collaborative Donald

That's Donald, very collaborative Donald Trump. Just step back and think about

Trump. Just step back and think about

Trump. Just step back and think about this. Every day they're bringing him

this. Every day they're bringing him

this. Every day they're bringing him these fun little action movies of us

these fun little action movies of us

these fun little action movies of us blowing stuff up. Everyone's telling him

blowing stuff up. Everyone's telling him

blowing stuff up. Everyone's telling him how great he's doing. He's got four

how great he's doing. He's got four

how great he's doing. He's got four whole cable networks dedicated to

whole cable networks dedicated to

whole cable networks dedicated to kissing his ass 24/7. His staff is

kissing his ass 24/7. His staff is

kissing his ass 24/7. His staff is terrified to ever bring him any bad

terrified to ever bring him any bad

terrified to ever bring him any bad news. And he has the memory of a worm at

news. And he has the memory of a worm at

news. And he has the memory of a worm at the bottle of a bottle of Mscal.

the bottle of a bottle of Mscal.

the bottle of a bottle of Mscal. And this is the man in charge of sending

And this is the man in charge of sending

And this is the man in charge of sending our children to war. At least the ones

our children to war. At least the ones

our children to war. At least the ones whose dads don't have a good podiatrist

whose dads don't have a good podiatrist

whose dads don't have a good podiatrist to get them out of it. It's really

to get them out of it. It's really

to get them out of it. It's really something. Our own government is making

something. Our own government is making

something. Our own government is making war propaganda videos for the person

war propaganda videos for the person

war propaganda videos for the person running the war. Even Kim Jong-un's

running the war. Even Kim Jong-un's

running the war. Even Kim Jong-un's like, "That's a bit much." I don't know.

like, "That's a bit much." I don't know.

like, "That's a bit much." I don't know. By the way, that is another consequence

By the way, that is another consequence

By the way, that is another consequence of this war in Iran. The president's

of this war in Iran. The president's

of this war in Iran. The president's former pen pal, Kim Jong-un, says the

former pen pal, Kim Jong-un, says the

former pen pal, Kim Jong-un, says the lesson that he's learned is that you

lesson that he's learned is that you

lesson that he's learned is that you can't trust the sweet talk from the US.

can't trust the sweet talk from the US.

can't trust the sweet talk from the US. And as a result, he says he's going to

And as a result, he says he's going to

And as a result, he says he's going to make sure North Korea's nuclear status

make sure North Korea's nuclear status

make sure North Korea's nuclear status is irreversible. So, I guess Trump wrote

is irreversible. So, I guess Trump wrote

is irreversible. So, I guess Trump wrote all those love letters for no reason at

all those love letters for no reason at

all those love letters for no reason at all. And to really rub it into his

all. And to really rub it into his

all. And to really rub it into his pumpkin face, Kim Jong-un was just

pumpkin face, Kim Jong-un was just

pumpkin face, Kim Jong-un was just reelected to a third term with 99.93%

reelected to a third term with 99.93%

reelected to a third term with 99.93% of the vote. The other 07% are dead.

of the vote. The other 07% are dead.

of the vote. The other 07% are dead. They're diseased. Now, one of this war's

They're diseased. Now, one of this war's

They're diseased. Now, one of this war's biggest cheerleaders is Pete Hagath. He

biggest cheerleaders is Pete Hagath. He

biggest cheerleaders is Pete Hagath. He is overtly enjoying that. It must be a

is overtly enjoying that. It must be a

is overtly enjoying that. It must be a rush to go from lowly weekend cable news

rush to go from lowly weekend cable news

rush to go from lowly weekend cable news anchor to dropping giant bombs. And you

anchor to dropping giant bombs. And you

anchor to dropping giant bombs. And you can see Pete is fired up.

can see Pete is fired up.

can see Pete is fired up. >> President has made it clear that you

>> President has made it clear that you

>> President has made it clear that you will not have a nuclear weapon. The War

will not have a nuclear weapon. The War

will not have a nuclear weapon. The War Department agrees our job is to ensure

Department agrees our job is to ensure

Department agrees our job is to ensure that. And so we're keeping our our hand

that. And so we're keeping our our hand

that. And so we're keeping our our hand on that throttle uh as long as as hard

on that throttle uh as long as as hard

on that throttle uh as long as as hard as is necessary to ensure the interest

as is necessary to ensure the interest

as is necessary to ensure the interest of the United States of America are

of the United States of America are

of the United States of America are achieved.

achieved.

achieved. >> That's the moment the sealis kicked in.

>> That's the moment the sealis kicked in.

>> That's the moment the sealis kicked in. It's unclear what if any actual

It's unclear what if any actual

It's unclear what if any actual conversations are happening with Iran,

conversations are happening with Iran,

conversations are happening with Iran, but one thing we do know is they won't

but one thing we do know is they won't

but one thing we do know is they won't be happening with Jared Kushner, aka

be happening with Jared Kushner, aka

be happening with Jared Kushner, aka Sheldon Cooper's evil twin. The Iranians

Sheldon Cooper's evil twin. The Iranians

Sheldon Cooper's evil twin. The Iranians have said they will not accept Jared

have said they will not accept Jared

have said they will not accept Jared Kushner or Trump's special envoy to the

Kushner or Trump's special envoy to the

Kushner or Trump's special envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witoff, as

Middle East, Steve Witoff, as

Middle East, Steve Witoff, as negotiators. You know, the Iranians have

negotiators. You know, the Iranians have

negotiators. You know, the Iranians have a nickname for Jared. They call him the

a nickname for Jared. They call him the

a nickname for Jared. They call him the sorrowful broomstick, which sounds

sorrowful broomstick, which sounds

sorrowful broomstick, which sounds better in Farsy, but and it's weird that

better in Farsy, but and it's weird that

better in Farsy, but and it's weird that the Iranians don't want to negotiate

the Iranians don't want to negotiate

the Iranians don't want to negotiate with Trump's son-in-law, whose primary

with Trump's son-in-law, whose primary

with Trump's son-in-law, whose primary job experience before this was holding

job experience before this was holding

job experience before this was holding Ivanka's purse. It seems very

Ivanka's purse. It seems very

Ivanka's purse. It seems very unfriendly. They want JD Vance to be the

unfriendly. They want JD Vance to be the

unfriendly. They want JD Vance to be the point person on talks, which is funny. I

point person on talks, which is funny. I

point person on talks, which is funny. I mean, this is the first time anyone's

mean, this is the first time anyone's

mean, this is the first time anyone's ever wanted to talk to JD Van. Even his

ever wanted to talk to JD Van. Even his

ever wanted to talk to JD Van. Even his wife Usher was like, "Are you sure they

wife Usher was like, "Are you sure they

wife Usher was like, "Are you sure they said JD?"

said JD?"

said JD?" source said that Iran sees JD Vance as a

source said that Iran sees JD Vance as a

source said that Iran sees JD Vance as a more acceptable diplomatic figure than

more acceptable diplomatic figure than

more acceptable diplomatic figure than Witoff and Kushner in the same way uh

Witoff and Kushner in the same way uh

Witoff and Kushner in the same way uh Cankers is more acceptable than herpes.

Cankers is more acceptable than herpes.

Cankers is more acceptable than herpes. But do you know how much you have to

But do you know how much you have to

But do you know how much you have to suck for someone to demand you be

suck for someone to demand you be

suck for someone to demand you be replaced by JD Vance? It and it's not an

replaced by JD Vance? It and it's not an

replaced by JD Vance? It and it's not an easy position for Vance to be in because

easy position for Vance to be in because

easy position for Vance to be in because Trump hates it when anyone gets credit

Trump hates it when anyone gets credit

Trump hates it when anyone gets credit for anything. So, it really isn't in

for anything. So, it really isn't in

for anything. So, it really isn't in JD's best interest to do well in Iran

JD's best interest to do well in Iran

JD's best interest to do well in Iran because his White House key card might

because his White House key card might

because his White House key card might not work when he gets back to Washington

not work when he gets back to Washington

not work when he gets back to Washington DC. JD is like, "Guys, can we please

DC. JD is like, "Guys, can we please

DC. JD is like, "Guys, can we please just get back to blaming immigrants for

just get back to blaming immigrants for

just get back to blaming immigrants for our problems? Remember the eating the

our problems? Remember the eating the

our problems? Remember the eating the CATS AND DOGS? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT? I

CATS AND DOGS? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT? I

CATS AND DOGS? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT? I LOVE THAT." ANYWAY, the lives of

LOVE THAT." ANYWAY, the lives of

LOVE THAT." ANYWAY, the lives of millions of people are now in the hands

millions of people are now in the hands

millions of people are now in the hands of a man who struggled to order a donut.

of a man who struggled to order a donut.

of a man who struggled to order a donut. And whatever the outcome, the president

And whatever the outcome, the president

And whatever the outcome, the president has been very successful, you have to

has been very successful, you have to

has been very successful, you have to admit, in changing the narrative from

admit, in changing the narrative from

admit, in changing the narrative from the Trump Epstein files to the war.

the Trump Epstein files to the war.

the Trump Epstein files to the war. There's been very little in the way of

There's been very little in the way of

There's been very little in the way of repercussions in this country, at least

repercussions in this country, at least

repercussions in this country, at least for the many men who socialized with

for the many men who socialized with

for the many men who socialized with Epstein and did business with him,

Epstein and did business with him,

Epstein and did business with him, including one of his former lawyers,

including one of his former lawyers,

including one of his former lawyers, Epstein pal and Trump sickopant Alan

Epstein pal and Trump sickopant Alan

Epstein pal and Trump sickopant Alan Dersowitz.

Dersowitz.

Dersowitz. >> Had President Trump been in charge in

>> Had President Trump been in charge in

>> Had President Trump been in charge in 1935, 1936, I think the Holocaust would

1935, 1936, I think the Holocaust would

1935, 1936, I think the Holocaust would have been prevented. I think he would

have been prevented. I think he would

have been prevented. I think he would have gone in after Nazi Germany. He

have gone in after Nazi Germany. He

have gone in after Nazi Germany. He would have destroyed it the way he is

would have destroyed it the way he is

would have destroyed it the way he is destroying Nazi Iran and the Holocaust

destroying Nazi Iran and the Holocaust

destroying Nazi Iran and the Holocaust would have been prevented.

would have been prevented.

would have been prevented. >> It's incredible. Donald Trump is now

>> It's incredible. Donald Trump is now

>> It's incredible. Donald Trump is now stopping wars from before he was even

stopping wars from before he was even

stopping wars from before he was even born.

born.

born. He's a peacemaking time traveler.

He's a peacemaking time traveler.

He's a peacemaking time traveler. If Trump had been president, Anne Frank

If Trump had been president, Anne Frank

If Trump had been president, Anne Frank would have been wearing a MAGA hat and

would have been wearing a MAGA hat and

would have been wearing a MAGA hat and getting jiggy to kid rock. The Titanic

getting jiggy to kid rock. The Titanic

getting jiggy to kid rock. The Titanic would still be floating today had Donald

would still be floating today had Donald

would still be floating today had Donald Trump been born sooner. You have to give

Trump been born sooner. You have to give

Trump been born sooner. You have to give them points for imagination. You know,

them points for imagination. You know,

them points for imagination. You know, according to the New York Times, in some

according to the New York Times, in some

according to the New York Times, in some states, gas prices have now jumped more

states, gas prices have now jumped more

states, gas prices have now jumped more than 30% over the last two weeks. And

than 30% over the last two weeks. And

than 30% over the last two weeks. And according to the White House, no, they

according to the White House, no, they

according to the White House, no, they haven't. But what happened to all that

haven't. But what happened to all that

haven't. But what happened to all that oil we got from Venezuela? I thought

oil we got from Venezuela? I thought

oil we got from Venezuela? I thought we're going to be swimming in it. And on

we're going to be swimming in it. And on

we're going to be swimming in it. And on top of that, the blockade in the

top of that, the blockade in the

top of that, the blockade in the straight of Hormuz is preventing imports

straight of Hormuz is preventing imports

straight of Hormuz is preventing imports of nitrogen, which is a key ingredient

of nitrogen, which is a key ingredient

of nitrogen, which is a key ingredient in the fertilizer American farmers need

in the fertilizer American farmers need

in the fertilizer American farmers need to grow crops, to grow our food. The

to grow crops, to grow our food. The

to grow crops, to grow our food. The price of fertilizer has skyrocketed

price of fertilizer has skyrocketed

price of fertilizer has skyrocketed since the war started. But don't worry,

since the war started. But don't worry,

since the war started. But don't worry, because when the manure hits the fan,

because when the manure hits the fan,

because when the manure hits the fan, President Old McDonald has a plan.

President Old McDonald has a plan.

President Old McDonald has a plan. >> Hello everyone. This is your favorite

>> Hello everyone. This is your favorite

>> Hello everyone. This is your favorite President, Donald J. Trump. Recently, I

President, Donald J. Trump. Recently, I

President, Donald J. Trump. Recently, I started a war in Iran. It's not a war,

started a war in Iran. It's not a war,

started a war in Iran. It's not a war, but it is a war. And for reasons I don't

but it is a war. And for reasons I don't

but it is a war. And for reasons I don't care to understand, we are out of

care to understand, we are out of

care to understand, we are out of fertilizer. Fertilizer is an

fertilizer. Fertilizer is an

fertilizer. Fertilizer is an oldfashioned word that means poop.

oldfashioned word that means poop.

oldfashioned word that means poop. Toilet potatoes, nature's meatballs,

Toilet potatoes, nature's meatballs,

Toilet potatoes, nature's meatballs, reverse food, whatever you want to call

reverse food, whatever you want to call

reverse food, whatever you want to call it. Our farmers need it. It's a problem.

it. Our farmers need it. It's a problem.

it. Our farmers need it. It's a problem. And I alone can fix it. Introducing

And I alone can fix it. Introducing

And I alone can fix it. Introducing Trump fertilizer. Made in the USA for

Trump fertilizer. Made in the USA for

Trump fertilizer. Made in the USA for the USA by me. Every little nugget comes

the USA by me. Every little nugget comes

the USA by me. Every little nugget comes from inside my own body. fueled by a

from inside my own body. fueled by a

from inside my own body. fueled by a steady diet of KFC, Chick-fil-A, hot

steady diet of KFC, Chick-fil-A, hot

steady diet of KFC, Chick-fil-A, hot dog, Trump steak, mara lago, wedding

dog, Trump steak, mara lago, wedding

dog, Trump steak, mara lago, wedding cake, pizza, Goya, and of course, taco

cake, pizza, Goya, and of course, taco

cake, pizza, Goya, and of course, taco bowls. The bowl you can eat. All of this

bowls. The bowl you can eat. All of this

bowls. The bowl you can eat. All of this travels through my stomach into my large

travels through my stomach into my large

travels through my stomach into my large intestine and then through my other

intestine and then through my other

intestine and then through my other large intestines. I have no small

large intestines. I have no small

large intestines. I have no small intestines. My intestines are all big,

intestines. My intestines are all big,

intestines. My intestines are all big, huge intestines.

huge intestines.

huge intestines. and into the bag. From my back door to

and into the bag. From my back door to

and into the bag. From my back door to your front door.

your front door.

your front door. Our beautiful farmers, this is my gift

Our beautiful farmers, this is my gift

Our beautiful farmers, this is my gift to you. My crops are your crops. Trump

to you. My crops are your crops. Trump

to you. My crops are your crops. Trump fertilizer because even my number TW's

fertilizer because even my number TW's

fertilizer because even my number TW's are number one.

See, he is he is good for something.

See, he is he is good for something.

See, he is he is good for something. Okay, we're going to take a break. When

Okay, we're going to take a break. When

Okay, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we have something special

we come back, we have something special

we come back, we have something special planned. We're going to play a game in

planned. We're going to play a game in

planned. We're going to play a game in which music superstar Nyall Hin takes on

which music superstar Nyall Hin takes on

which music superstar Nyall Hin takes on his number one fan. So stick around. We

his number one fan. So stick around. We

his number one fan. So stick around. We will be right back.