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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,566 Breaking news. 2 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,277 Actor Jason Biggs of American Pie fame was found dead 3 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,070 in his Wind River home. 4 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,239 The event brings this year's celebrity death toll 5 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:36,367 to 27 after Pope Francis's heart explosion last week. 6 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,744 His estate wants 7 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,455 to remind the world that Jason Biggs was a good guy 8 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,748 and we should all be very, 9 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,124 very sad. 10 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,168 Authorities aren't ruling out foul play. 11 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,310 - Ah. 12 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,775 Get fucked, Biggs! 13 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:16,532 ♪ I heard I heard the old man say ♪ 14 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:19,368 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 15 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:23,039 ♪ Today, today's a holiday ♪ 16 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,250 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 17 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,836 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 18 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,255 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 19 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:36,052 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 20 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,554 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 21 00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:00,201 ♪ We'll work tomorrow but not today ♪ 22 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,245 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 23 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,997 ♪ We'll work tomorrow but not today ♪ 24 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,291 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 25 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,168 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 26 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,003 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 27 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,508 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 28 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,801 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 29 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,303 ♪ We're bound away for Frisco Bay ♪ 30 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,639 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 31 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,308 ♪ We're bound away at the break of day ♪ 32 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,644 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 33 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,688 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 34 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,439 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 35 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,235 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 36 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,156 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 37 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,737 - So, 35? - Do we have a deal? 38 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,238 Okay. You got me. 39 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,531 Twenty-five. 40 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,741 You drive a hard bargain. 41 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,826 - Luke, how much for this? 42 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,703 - Oh. For you, Jake, 43 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,996 absolutely free. 44 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,082 Take it. It's yours. 45 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,959 - No kidding? - No kidding. 46 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:35,713 - You know, a toaster like this would probably get you $27. 47 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:36,883 - I doubt that. 48 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,345 - It's a very nice thing. Uh... 49 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:44,222 I think I'll put it on my desk next to my computer. 50 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,894 I came by to-- to give you a little going away advice. 51 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,564 You need to change the password on your Wi-Fi 52 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,567 and the majority of your streaming accounts. 53 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,986 - What do you mean? - Type in some extra numbers 54 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,073 or some big letters. Those go a long way. 55 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,784 - Jake, are you saying you've been using my Wi-Fi? 56 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,327 Is that why Google keeps recommending 57 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,246 - different ketamine clinics? - I'm just saying 58 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,915 I don't want people in your new building 59 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,251 to take advantage of you the way... 60 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,379 some people might have been taking advantage of you here. 61 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,421 - Thanks, Jake. 62 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,924 - You're a good guy, Luke. 63 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:20,925 You deserve better. 64 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,928 - Okay. 65 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,430 - Oh, hey, Janet. 66 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,931 - Respectfully, Janet, I really think 67 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,224 that we should just try it my way. 68 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,351 - We're really going miss you around here, Luke, 69 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,728 and not just your Wi-Fi and your streaming services. 70 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,230 You're like family. 71 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,982 - Were my passwords that easy to figure out? 72 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,733 - Uh, where you headed now? 73 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,235 - Ottawa, Canada. Watch your finger. 74 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:43,739 - Ottawa. Uh, you got family up there or something? 75 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,284 - No. No. The only family I have left is an older brother, 76 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,202 but I haven't heard from him in years. 77 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,288 In fact, I actually don't even know if he's dead or alive. 78 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,747 - Oh, well, that's dreadful, 79 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:56,168 because, uh, family is the most important thing there is. 80 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:59,632 Family sticks together, no matter what. 81 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,633 - Uh. What was that? 82 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,759 - What was what? 83 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,554 - The random family sentiment you just read out loud, 84 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,139 what was that about? 85 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,100 - Uh, I gotta go. 86 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,769 - Clinton... 87 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,521 How much you want for this? 88 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,897 It's beautiful. 89 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,233 - What the hell? This isn't mine. 90 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,651 - Who put this here? - You did. 91 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,570 - No. Why would I have a painting 92 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,739 of the pope eating tacos with Big Foot? 93 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,615 I mean, I'm basically Jewish, for Christ's sake. 94 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:27,785 That's a lie. 95 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,119 I've seen his penis. 96 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,955 The man you know as Luke is not circumcised. 97 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:35,958 Quite the opposite. He possesses a generous amount of foreskin, 98 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,252 making his dick look like the head of a baby elephant. 99 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,506 - What? Who-- Who are you? What is happening? 100 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,807 - Geez Louise. 101 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,310 Ow! 102 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,146 - Danny! 103 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,314 - Bring it in. - Danny! 104 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,191 - Huh? Ow! Ow! Ow! - Oh, oh God, God, God! 105 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,109 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! What happened? Are you okay? 106 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,194 - Yeah, it's nothing, really. 107 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,403 You should've seen the other guy. 108 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:05,780 - Yeah? - Oh, yeah. 109 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,074 He was driving the sickest Mercedes when he plowed into me. 110 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,742 - Okay. That looks really bad. 111 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,661 - Oh, and that painting is from me. Hmm? 112 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,081 - Oh! - You like it? 113 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,248 - Yeah, man. 114 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,750 - One more hug? Soft? 115 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,043 - Wow, man. 116 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,389 Mmm. 117 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,392 Mm. 118 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,812 - So, how's life living off-grid all this time? 119 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,481 - It's fine, until the grid got bigger. 120 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,732 After a while, it became like 121 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,567 one of Todd Simmons's famous nosebleeds. 122 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,321 - Yeah. 123 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,321 Wait. Who's-- 124 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,739 - So, what's with the moving sale? 125 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:49,740 You moving somewhere? 126 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,492 - Ah, very perceptive of you. 127 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,535 Yeah. Yeah. No. 128 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,329 I'm, uh, heading up to Ottawa, Canada. 129 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,164 - Ottawa? What do you got a girlfriend up there 130 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,666 - or something? - No. 131 00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,917 - Yeah, you do. - No. 132 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,129 - You have a girlfriend in Canada. Eh-eh. 133 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,630 - I wish. No. - Yeah. You gotta go all 134 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,216 the way up there to get laid, because you can't get laid here. 135 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,592 - Danny, Danny, no. - Sorry. 136 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,720 - No. I-- I am driving up today 137 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,392 to start at the new paleontology research center. 138 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,560 - What, today, today? 139 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,686 Yeah. 140 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,855 - You can't leave today. - Why not? 141 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,065 - Well, because I'm here now. I want to hang out. 142 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,400 - Yeah, but I-- I start on Monday. 143 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,319 - Ah, fuck muffin. 144 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,406 I was really hoping to spend some time together 145 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,910 before I start my new job in Tucson next week. 146 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,716 - Hey, man. Why don't you come with me? 147 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,758 - Really? - Yeah. 148 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,677 - You wouldn't mind? - No. I-- I-- 149 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,345 I've wanted to spend time with you, too. 150 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,806 - Wow. I'm impressed, Luke. 151 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,184 You really do have faith in your fellow man. 152 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,603 It's like Todd Simmons said, 153 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,688 "Faith is all about taking that initial step 154 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,315 without first checking for scorpions." 155 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,318 - Yeah. 156 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,319 Who is this Todd Simmons guy? 157 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,246 So, tell me about the job in Ottawa, huh? 158 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:21,457 - You happy with it? - Oh, beyond happy, man. 159 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,042 It's like, for the first time in my life, 160 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,044 everything's finally making sense, you know? 161 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,128 - And that's a good thing? 162 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,963 - Yeah, of course it is. 163 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,007 I get to go on real digs with real paleontologists, 164 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,051 and you know what we're doing on my very first day? 165 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,094 - How would I know that? - We're gonna go to a dig site 166 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,971 where they've already found a brand-new species 167 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,431 of cretaceous-era theropod, 168 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,725 and they've already given her a name, too: Snommisddot. 169 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:40,851 - Snommisddot. - Yeah. 170 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,561 Apparently, she's massive. 171 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,980 And her femur bone 172 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,149 is exactly five foot, 10 and a half inches long, 173 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,360 which is my precise height, 174 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,237 which is weird and neat, right? 175 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,864 - Yeah. I'm just happy you're happy. 176 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,658 - Yeah. - Just don't freak out 177 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,743 when you learn what actually killed the dinosaurs. 178 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,664 What do you mean? 179 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,582 - No. Uh, it's too soon. 180 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,001 I'm sorry. I'm just going to shut up now, okay? 181 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,419 - No. No. 182 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:10,047 What do you think killed the dinosaurs, Danny? 183 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,799 - Well, it wasn't a fucking meteor. 184 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:12,843 I'll tell you that. 185 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,433 What? 186 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,017 - Just so you know, 187 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,812 I-- I don't actually care that-- that you believe 188 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,647 in all this conspiracy theory stuff. 189 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,649 It honestly doesn't even bother me. 190 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,359 - Conspiracy theory stuff? 191 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,362 Just so you know, all science is theory until proven otherwise. 192 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,197 Did you know that Galileo was once considered 193 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,616 - a conspiracy theorist? - Okay, but just so you know, 194 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,911 even if, somehow, one of your crazy conspiracy theories 195 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,038 just happened to be proven true, nobody would believe you, 196 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,373 because you think everything is part 197 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,666 of some massive conspiracy theory. 198 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,418 So you'd basically just be the boy who cried wolf. 199 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,086 - Oh, just so you know, the boy who cried wolf 200 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,838 - is a personal hero of mine. - Of course he is. 201 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,673 - No. Think about it. He tricked his entire town 202 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,216 into thinking that a wolf was coming, 203 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,843 so by the end, when the wolf actually came, 204 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,013 he had him all to himself, and who doesn't want a little wolf? 205 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,856 This just in. 206 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,692 Jason Biggs's death has been officially ruled a homicide. 207 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,068 The suspect is said to-- 208 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,695 ...bloody, grisly murder scene. 209 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:15,821 We should all be 210 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,406 very sad, according to his estate. 211 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,333 - So, tell me about this job in Tucson. 212 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,044 - Oh, yeah. I'm-- I'm really excited about it. 213 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,212 - Is it, like, a-- an office job or... 214 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,548 - The day I set foot in an office is the day I die. 215 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,134 - Yeah. So, what is it? 216 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,969 - Oh, I can't say. I-- I signed an NDA. 217 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,095 - Oh, with who? 218 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,472 - Can't say that, either. 219 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,557 - Well, can you tell me anything about it? 220 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,267 - Let me think. No. 221 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,935 - Well, come on. You're not being chased 222 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,646 by a bounty hunter or something, are you? 223 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,064 Jesus, Luke! 224 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,275 I'm not that guy anymore. 225 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,527 - Alright. Sorry. - Sure, at one point, 226 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,905 I was a little off my rocker. Sure, at one point, 227 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,198 I ran for sheriff of Daytona 228 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,532 under the name Deacon Shrimp. 229 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,785 Sure, at one point, I scammed the Portuguese mafia 230 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,703 out of 1,000 fluid ounces of Taiwanese ketamine. 231 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,080 - What? - But I also know 232 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,998 I haven't been the best big brother to you. 233 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,209 I left you all alone in that hell hole, 234 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,211 took out multiple houseboat loans in your name. 235 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,296 - That was you? - But I'm a changed man now 236 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,091 who's trying to get his life back on track, 237 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,804 and... I need you to believe that. 238 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,222 - Uh... yeah. Alright. 239 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,515 - Thank you. 240 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,933 I have no reason to lie to you, man. 241 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,519 Literally not one. Knock on wood. 242 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,604 - Sheriff's Department! 243 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,107 Sheriff's Department! 244 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,834 Hey. Oh, yeah. He's been here. 245 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,961 Looks like his brother's helping him after all. 246 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,337 We're going to need 247 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,589 an additional 277 on Luke Davenport, 248 00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,050 accomplice to wanted felon Daniel Davenport. 249 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,768 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 250 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,939 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 251 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:17,317 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 252 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:21,739 ♪ They sailed away to sea ♪ 253 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,992 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 254 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:29,204 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 255 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,875 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 256 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:37,880 ♪ They set sail from Brittany ♪ 257 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,965 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 258 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,925 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 259 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,261 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 260 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,054 ♪ They sailed away to sea ♪ 261 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,348 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 262 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,184 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 263 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,394 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 264 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,813 ♪ They set sail from Brittany ♪ 265 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,899 ♪ A storm began as they set sail ♪ 266 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,067 ♪ The waves swelled high around them ♪ 267 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,986 ♪ The winds were strong, the journey long ♪ 268 00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,529 ♪ They landed in Newfoundland ♪ 269 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,198 ...coincidence 270 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,491 that it was around the same time 271 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,493 Bill Gates had Princess Di assassinated, 272 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,911 and that's the fourth reason why 273 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,664 one should never trust the Portuguese. 274 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,541 - What? - Nothing. 275 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,126 - No. Seriously, man, what? 276 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,378 - No. It's... - It's nothing. Never mind. 277 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,379 - I know that look. 278 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,840 You're contemplating whether or not I'm back on my meds, huh? 279 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,925 - What? How is that a look? 280 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,968 - Well, I am, okay? 281 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,387 I mean, do I look like Todd Simmons on a Spanish holiday? 282 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,389 - Who the fuck is Todd Simmons? 283 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,393 - I swear you have nothing to worry... 284 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:38,023 - What? What is it? - Nothing. It's nothing. 285 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,317 Uh, I'm just going to go see if Old Man Waters 286 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,985 still lives over there. I'll be right back. 287 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,071 - Old Man Waters? It's clearly made up! 288 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,697 - And it's my turn to drive! 289 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,178 - What the... 290 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,305 - Hands on the steering wheel, now. 291 00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,974 - Oh, dear. 292 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,684 - I gotta hand it to you. 293 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,144 I thought I lost you back in Wind River. 294 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,564 You banged me up good. 295 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,857 I don't want your fucking money! 296 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,149 Hands on the wheel! Do it now! 297 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,317 - Oh, dear. 298 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,778 - Does this mean anything to you? Huh? 299 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,197 It's a Taco Gary's taco, 300 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,408 as in the TG truce of '21? 301 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,577 - Who's Taco Jerry? 302 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,995 - It's Taco Gary! 303 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,830 This is a Mercedes, right? 304 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:37,583 - I don't know. I don't know! 305 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,251 It's my husband's car! 306 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,256 He was using the restroom. 307 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:44,800 - Oh. 308 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,232 God damn it! 309 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,026 - I'm truly sorry for mistaking you 310 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,527 for a member of the Coalition. 311 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,323 It was an honest mistake. 312 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,243 I'm assuming you have the child lock on. 313 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,161 Thank you, ma'am. 314 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,623 You have a lovely day. 315 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,386 Shit! Shit! Shit! 316 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,390 Fuck! 317 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,353 You okay? 318 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,481 - Not really, man. I saw it. 319 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,107 - Fuck. Okay. Yeah. 320 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,651 Putting a hunting knife to a grandmother's throat 321 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,860 looks really bad on paper, 322 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,320 but technically that was in self-defense. 323 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,948 - What? No. I'm talking about these. 324 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,908 Fucking M&M's, man. 325 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,576 - Oh, yeah. Me, too. 326 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,745 - You're lying to me, Danny, again. 327 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,331 - Relax, Luke! They're just anti-psychotics. 328 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,416 - Nothing bad's gonna happen-- - Not yet, 329 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,919 but I refuse to be the idiot in the horror movie 330 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,964 who sees all the dead animals and the ghost children, 331 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,340 yet doesn't get out. 332 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,384 I-- I feel like I'm being set up for disaster. 333 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,928 - If you would like me to take the regular pills that work, 334 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,180 I will, okay? Pinky swear. 335 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,556 - I love you, Danny. I do, 336 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,183 but I am in a new chapter in my life, 337 00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,310 and I don't have time to accommodate you and your... 338 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,270 Wait. What did you do to some grandma? 339 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,691 - Nothing. It's a metaphor. 340 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:26,986 - Where's my phone? 341 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,947 - You promise you won't get angry? 342 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,489 - Oh, God. - Look. 343 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,033 For your own safety and for reasons I can't disclose yet, 344 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,077 I had to dispose of your phone 345 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,829 via toilet at the gas station. 346 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,747 - Pull over. - Why? We just stopped. 347 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,207 - Pull over! 348 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,543 - Christ! - Calm down! 349 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,088 What is happening right now? 350 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,758 Where you going? 351 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,679 - Get-- - Damn it! What the fuck? 352 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,682 - Shit. Just wait! Just wait! 353 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,058 - No! It's over! 354 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,435 You're not going to talk me out of it! 355 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,562 - I know! I know. 356 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,646 I understand. 357 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,273 Look. I'm sorry! 358 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,608 You know I hate taking that shit! 359 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,486 It makes me feel too... not me! 360 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,947 - Things make too much sense! - That's a bad thing? 361 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,365 - Can you just get out of the car 362 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,034 so I can give you a proper hug goodbye? 363 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,953 - No! - I'll leave. I promise. 364 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:22,497 It just might be a really long time before I see you again. 365 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,666 Just come out and give me one last hug, 366 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,836 and then I'm gone, okay? 367 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,255 Please? 368 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:33,969 Thank you. 369 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,972 I love you, man. 370 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,640 Love you, too. What-- 371 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,267 Ah! What the fuck was that? 372 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:45,062 - I-- I know. I'm sorry. It's for your own good. 373 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,229 - Trust me. - Don't! 374 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,482 - Trust me! You're okay. 375 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,068 - Alright. That's it. 376 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,239 - You're okay. 377 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,410 Goodnight, sweet prince. 378 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,288 Ah. They never show this part in the movies. 379 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,459 How hard could it be? 380 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,411 There's Mr. Sleepy Head. 381 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,747 - Wha... 382 00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:46,998 What happened? Where are we? 383 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,542 - What? You don't remember? 384 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,627 Makes sense. You were pretty damn drunk. 385 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,006 No. I-- I remember I-- 386 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,425 I couldn't find my phone, and-- 387 00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:00,764 and then we-- we got in an argument and... 388 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,727 Holy shit. You... You... 389 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:09,771 - Okay. Fine. I injected you with some ketamine, 390 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,314 but you were having a temper tantrum. 391 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,899 - Oh, you're out of your mind. 392 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,361 You're-- You're-- Oh, God. 393 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,201 There's Mr. Sleepy Head. 394 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,162 - God damn it! - I know. 395 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,247 This hurts me just as much as it hurts you. 396 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,001 - Why are you doing this to me? 397 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,711 - I haven't been completely honest with you. 398 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,296 I kind of stumbled into some trouble, 399 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,339 and I sort of need to-- How do I say this? 400 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:37,883 Flee the country, so when I found out 401 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,801 you were going to Canada, I thought it was meant to be, 402 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:41,511 - you know, like fate. - What did you do? 403 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,679 - Nothing. 404 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,182 I simply took something from someone deemed important. 405 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,433 - Give it back! 406 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,685 - No! The world needs to see this, 407 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,604 - and I need your help. - No! 408 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,939 - Come on, Luke. You're family! 409 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,650 And you know family is the most important thing of all. 410 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,362 Family sticks together, no matter what. 411 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,489 - You paid my neighbor to say that, didn't you? 412 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,074 - Look. It's not my fault your neighbor didn't take 413 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,910 the extra five minutes to memorize his fucking lines! 414 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,329 Look. Whatever, it doesn't matter. The fact is, 415 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,915 I love you, and you're the only one that I can truly trust. 416 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,124 And you have a valid passport, 417 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,542 and we kinda look like each other. 418 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,252 - Oh, I can't believe I fell for this. 419 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:18,006 No! No! No, no, no! Help! 420 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,257 - Come here, you little rascal. 421 00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,926 Help me! Help! 422 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,969 Stop doing that! 423 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,764 - Look. I'm begging you, man. I need your help, 424 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,724 and I need to borrow your identity one last time. 425 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,601 Just try to see the forest through the trees. 426 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,645 - It's "for the trees," you idiot, 427 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,897 and the answer is no! 428 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,942 I am not gonna risk my chance at happiness for you. 429 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,860 - The thing is, Luke, 430 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,529 I don't think you have any other options. 431 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,949 - Of course I do. I'll-- I'll just suck it up and fly there. 432 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,117 Truck's worthless anyway, and all my important stuff 433 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,202 is already at my new place. 434 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,453 - Yeah, but you can't book a flight 435 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,288 without your phone and your wallet. 436 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:53,085 - God damn it! Where is my wallet, Danny? 437 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,754 - It's in safe hands. You'll get it once we cross the border. 438 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:58,797 I know that look. 439 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,215 You wanna cause me physical harm, 440 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,175 but right now, I'm your best and only option. 441 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,552 You'll still get there on time. I promise. 442 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:05,595 Any questions? 443 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,013 - Can I at least have my shirt back? 444 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,349 - No. Oh, and there's something else I need to give you. 445 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,142 Now, you're probably not ready to hear this, 446 00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:13,520 but that right there is a highly advanced homing beacon. 447 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,647 - This is a Rubik's Cube covered with black Sharpie ink. 448 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,524 - Oh, trust me. That's the highest of high tech. 449 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,734 - I do not trust you. - And don't ask me how I got it. 450 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:21,987 I'll just say it involved a full-figured Big Foot suit, 451 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,281 a live chicken, and a shit-ton of ketamine. 452 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,199 Now, on the off chance that we get separated, 453 00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:27,742 you press this part down right here, 454 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,244 and I'll know exactly where you are. 455 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,037 Oh, shit! Get down! 456 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:32,247 - What? - Get down! 457 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,581 - No. - At least take a knee! 458 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:34,791 - No. - Oh, shit. 459 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,668 The truck's been made. 460 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,628 - Oh, thank God. 461 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,796 - Let go! - If you tattletale, 462 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,256 I swear you'll never make it to your job. 463 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,174 I'll tell 'em you're the mastermind behind all this. 464 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,926 - How you gonna do that? - You really should rethink 465 00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:47,470 your password. Just add a few numbers or big letters. 466 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,848 - Those go a long way. - What have you been doing? 467 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,725 Enough to make it seem like you and I have been accomplices 468 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,935 all along, but if you stick with me, I'll clear your name. 469 00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,478 - Pinky swear. - God damn it. 470 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,064 - It's okay, brother. - I intended for plan A to fail. 471 00:21:58,066 --> 00:21:59,566 This is all part of the plan. 472 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,568 We're just going to skip ahead to step 17. 473 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:05,113 WWTSD. What would Todd Simmons do? 474 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,698 How many hand grenades do you have on your person? 475 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,033 - Danny. - On second thought, 476 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,743 - we don't need a truck. - My passport is in there. 477 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,411 - God damn it, Luke. What were you thinking? 478 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,163 - I was unconscious! - You can say that again. 479 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,623 - That's them! - Shit. Plan C. Run! 480 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:16,875 You'll never catch us! 481 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,002 We're very armed and extremely deranged! 482 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:21,171 - Why would you say that? No, no, no, we're-- we're not. 483 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,258 I'm-- I'm not! Fuck! 484 00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:28,470 - This way! - Through the trees! 485 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,512 - Wait! 486 00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:58,543 - Shit. 487 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:34,830 Man down! 488 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,585 Jesus Christ. 489 00:23:45,298 --> 00:23:46,383 - Needs salt. 490 00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:49,300 Come on! 491 00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,219 - Fuck! I'm so fucked! 492 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,846 Why did you say that? 493 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:55,223 - Oh, that is nothing compared to what I told the authorities 494 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,933 we've been doing for the last two weeks. 495 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,101 - No. You, not we. You! 496 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,978 - Shut up! This is all happening 497 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,980 according to the new plan that I just thought of. 498 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,481 All we need is a ride 499 00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:05,692 so I can connect with an associate I have in the area, 500 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,652 - and that guy's perfect. - Too rare. 501 00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:09,320 Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. 502 00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:11,364 I'm going to tell him that my fiancée's dog, 503 00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:13,950 Stanley McRuffRuff, was stolen by a one-eyed Portuguese man 504 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,453 and we're on a desperate and inspiring rescue mission. 505 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,163 - Why would anyone believe that? 506 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,415 - Because no one wants to believe the truth anymore, man, 507 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,208 and people don't let strangers with no pants 508 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:23,376 ride in their car willy-nilly. 509 00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:26,296 - Why is there no pants? - Bingo bongo. 510 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,466 - What? 511 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,717 What the fuck? 512 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,428 - You know, if something happened to my little ruff-ruff, 513 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,388 I'd do the same thing. 514 00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:36,764 Damn Portuguese. 515 00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:38,391 - Amen, brother. 516 00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,518 Oh, right. Uh, for your information, 517 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:41,895 I've kidnapped my brother 518 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,272 and am forcing him to come along against his will. 519 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,483 He wants to let you know in case you're a witness 520 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,735 in a trial that'll never happen. 521 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,195 - Brothers, huh? 522 00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:52,824 I guess y'all do smell pretty similar. 523 00:24:55,785 --> 00:24:57,327 Danny, what the fuck are you doing? 524 00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,829 - These are the exact coordinates. I triple-checked. 525 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,040 - Oh, uh, excuse me, sir. Do you mind driving me to the hospital? 526 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,625 I-- I've been kidnapped! 527 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:04,918 - Nice try, Luke, 528 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,503 but no one wants to believe the truth anymore. 529 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,837 Just let me work. 530 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,631 Now that neither of us have a passport 531 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,049 because you're irresponsible, 532 00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:13,593 we're going to require the services of a badger. 533 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,011 It's like a Canadian coyote. 534 00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,930 She'll help us cross the border. 535 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,525 - Let's talk. 536 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,196 No running, Eric! 537 00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,365 It's nice to see you again, Allison. 538 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:36,366 - It's been a while. 539 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:38,993 - This is my little brother, Luke. 540 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,079 Ah, I know that look. 541 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:43,831 You're sexually attracted to her, aren't you? 542 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:45,083 - So, where you two heading? 543 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,834 - I'm trying to get to Ottawa before Monday, 544 00:25:46,836 --> 00:25:48,795 and he's a wanted felon. 545 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,088 - Ottawa. 546 00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:52,592 What, you guys got family up there or something? 547 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:55,635 Eric, slow the fuck down! 548 00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:56,970 - You're a good brother, you know, 549 00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:58,346 helping Danny out like this. 550 00:25:58,348 --> 00:26:00,517 That man has opened my eyes to a lot of truths. 551 00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:04,519 Did you know that there's a metropolis of squid people 552 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:06,854 living directly beneath Santa Fe, New Mexico? 553 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,985 I'm just playing, I don't believe in that kind of stuff. 554 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,945 - Push it, Eric. 555 00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:15,572 - God damn it, Eric. 556 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,323 - I don't get it. You seem so... 557 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:19,742 - Look. When Danny called me up asking if I knew a badger, 558 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,869 I just went, "Screw it. I'll be your badger." 559 00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:23,871 I've got nothing else to do right now, and Danny always 560 00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,082 knows how to spin nothing into something crazy and fun. 561 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,167 - This is not fun, okay? 562 00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:29,794 Before Danny came back, 563 00:26:29,796 --> 00:26:32,422 things in my life were just finally starting to make sense. 564 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:35,258 - And that's a good thing? Danny will clear your name. 565 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,884 He's gotten me out of much tighter jams than this. 566 00:26:36,886 --> 00:26:39,387 Trust me. And who knows? Maybe by the end, 567 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,347 you'll no longer see this cup as half empty, like me. 568 00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:42,390 - Oh, yeah? Why's that? 569 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,934 - 'Cause I stopped wearing contacts. Can't see shit now. 570 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,728 - I just made contact with an associate of mine. 571 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,980 He's gonna provide us with a new vehicle and weaponry. 572 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,690 - Can he be trusted? - Oh, yeah. 573 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,775 We ran a lot of jobs together back in Pismo. 574 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:54,861 - No, no, no, no. Danny, please tell me 575 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,571 you're not talking about Klyle. 576 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:58,698 - I don't know what you'd like me to say, then. 577 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:00,700 - Oh, Danny, come on. Isn't he, like, the president 578 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:01,868 of the Flat Earth Society? 579 00:27:01,870 --> 00:27:03,369 - No, not anymore. He knows the world 580 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:06,372 is a three-dimensional isosceles triangle. Don't worry. 581 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:08,541 He said to meet him at these coordinates. 582 00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,793 Jesus Christ! 583 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,212 - Relax, baby! You're in a sauna! 584 00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:14,464 This is definitely the spot. 585 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:16,132 I quadruple-checked the coordinates. 586 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:17,508 - You said his name was Klyle? 587 00:27:17,510 --> 00:27:19,510 - Yeah. He purposely misspells his name 588 00:27:19,512 --> 00:27:21,846 to make himself harder to track. It's very smart. 589 00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,269 - Come with me. 590 00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:30,438 Were you followed? 591 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,648 - Uh, I don't think so. 592 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,316 - What about that guy? 593 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:35,902 - Nope. - He's not one of them. 594 00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:37,320 - Well, who's the sheep? 595 00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:39,113 - That's my little brother, Luke. 596 00:27:39,115 --> 00:27:40,281 - Can he be trusted? 597 00:27:40,283 --> 00:27:42,742 - Yeah, 100 percent. He's my brother. 598 00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:44,494 - I see you found yourself a badger. 599 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,870 - Best in the business. 600 00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:47,372 - Only the best for Danny. 601 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,415 - Okay, guys. Can we please just hurry this up? 602 00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:50,500 - How can I help? 603 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,001 They need to get to Ottawa. 604 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,921 - Ottawa... 605 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,508 - And no, we don't have any family there. 606 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:58,593 - Wait. 607 00:27:59,594 --> 00:28:00,927 You're going to Ottawa? 608 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,262 There's no way you stole what I think you stole. 609 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:05,056 - Maybe I did. 610 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,974 - Oh, you really got it, huh? 611 00:28:06,976 --> 00:28:08,978 Then whip it out and show it to me. 612 00:28:17,904 --> 00:28:19,362 You do realize that is worth 613 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:23,032 upwards of 27.7 million USD? 614 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:25,368 - He's exaggerating. Besides, it's not for sale. 615 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:27,829 Now, can you help us with a vehicle and weaponry or not? 616 00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,832 - You... 617 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:33,795 Yeah. Yes. Yes, I can. 618 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,672 Take your pick. 619 00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:39,882 - Is this your entire inventory? 620 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:42,301 - Yeah. My mom isn't CEO of Gucci Vuitton, 621 00:28:42,303 --> 00:28:43,302 I'm sorry to say. 622 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,556 - Ah. 623 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,933 This one doesn't have any side mirrors. 624 00:28:48,935 --> 00:28:52,186 - Yeah. Well, I had to kick them off to decrease wind resistance. 625 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,691 - Smart. 626 00:28:58,486 --> 00:29:01,195 Ooh, impressive. 627 00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:03,865 - If you want anything, all this stuff is 30 percent off. 628 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:15,168 Hey, sheep. 629 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:16,753 Hey, baa-baa sheep. 630 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,046 Hey. Hey! 631 00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:21,716 - You gonna answer me or not? - What was the question again? 632 00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:24,802 - If Grover Cleveland showed up right here, right now, 633 00:29:24,804 --> 00:29:27,722 right next to you and you got to ask him one question, 634 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:29,098 - what would it be? - I-- I don't know. 635 00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:31,309 I guess I'd ask him what he thought 636 00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:33,060 about current events and stuff. 637 00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:35,646 Wrong. Uh-uh. 638 00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:36,939 - Okay, Klyle. 639 00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:38,441 What would you ask him? 640 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,943 - How he did it. - How he did what? 641 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:43,488 - Time travel! How did a man that size 642 00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:46,032 show up right here, right now, right next to you? 643 00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:47,658 That didn't weird you out or anything? 644 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:50,077 That didn't spring up a bunch of questions in your mind? 645 00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:52,163 - Danny, we already got the car, man! Can we just go? 646 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:54,332 Jesus! Be careful, man. 647 00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:55,875 - Relax. It's not even loaded. 648 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,043 Whoa, Danny! 649 00:29:57,045 --> 00:29:58,920 - The fuck are you doing? - What? 650 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,757 There's nothing to worry about. See? 651 00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:05,551 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 652 00:30:05,553 --> 00:30:08,387 Klyle, you son a bitch, you were trying to rip me off! 653 00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:10,139 - Bullshit! You probably had the safety on! 654 00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:11,684 - It's off! Look! 655 00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:15,603 That is not how you test it! 656 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:17,021 - What? - Let me see. 657 00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:18,231 - What? No. - Jesus. 658 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,608 What is the matter with you guys? God! 659 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,276 I don't understand it. 660 00:30:22,278 --> 00:30:24,320 It randomly discharged this morning. 661 00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:25,321 It should work. 662 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:26,407 - Huh. 663 00:30:29,452 --> 00:30:31,828 Wouldn't it be funny if it just randomly went off right now? 664 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,252 - I mean, a little. 665 00:30:41,589 --> 00:30:43,923 - Mama, you want a taco? 666 00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:45,301 Okay. Your loss. 667 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:57,353 Mm. Hey. Hey, baa-baa. Next question. 668 00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:59,605 If you could have brunch with one person, 669 00:30:59,607 --> 00:31:02,233 living, dead, or ghost, who would it be? 670 00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:06,153 - My former self, to remind me to never, ever trust my brother. 671 00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:07,613 Seriously, if I miss out on this dig, 672 00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:09,282 I will literally shoot you. 673 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:11,951 - Wrong answer, pal. - Okay, Klyle! 674 00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:13,202 What's the right one, then? 675 00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:14,203 Todd Simmons. 676 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:15,580 - Okay. Will someone please 677 00:31:15,582 --> 00:31:17,707 just tell me who the fuck this Todd Simmons guy is? 678 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,166 Oh! 679 00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:20,793 - Shit! - Oh, my God! 680 00:31:20,795 --> 00:31:22,628 - I told you it worked! 681 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:26,549 - Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I've been fucking shot! 682 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,134 - Sure that wasn't there the whole time? 683 00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,468 - God! No! Call 911! 684 00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,636 - You're fine. It's just a BB. 685 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:31,846 - Fuck you, Danny! It hurts! 686 00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:35,099 - Check for an exit wound. - What? 687 00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:36,934 Somebody help me! Somebody help me, please! 688 00:31:36,936 --> 00:31:38,102 - Restrain him! 689 00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:40,354 Somebody! 690 00:31:41,649 --> 00:31:43,526 - Not like that, you idiot! 691 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,986 - Ah! Ah! 692 00:31:46,988 --> 00:31:48,654 - Badger, go upstairs to my room 693 00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:50,656 and get the Band-Aids from my grenade drawer. 694 00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:51,824 - On it. - Alright. 695 00:31:51,826 --> 00:31:53,284 We gotta restrain him, 696 00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:54,785 'cause I'm gonna suck the bullet out. 697 00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:56,662 - What the fuck? That's what you do with snake venom! 698 00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:58,039 - Yeah. That doesn't sound right. 699 00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,582 - Trust me. I'm a doctor. - Oh, really? 700 00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,502 If you're a doctor, let's see your badge. 701 00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:04,795 - Checks out. Proceed, Klyle. - Okay. 702 00:32:04,797 --> 00:32:07,006 - What the fuck? Ah! 703 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,133 - Oh, gross! He's vaccinated! Ugh! 704 00:32:10,219 --> 00:32:14,138 - Oh, shit! - Somebody call 911! Ah! 705 00:32:14,140 --> 00:32:16,307 - I got him. It's okay, Luke. 706 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,017 I'll take care of you, alright? 707 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,353 No! 708 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:22,188 - It's okay! It's just enough to ease the pain! 709 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:24,440 - How about we make our own exit wound? 710 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,317 I'm gonna push the bullet all the way through. 711 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,194 - Ah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 712 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:29,570 Wait! What is happening? 713 00:32:29,572 --> 00:32:31,864 - What does it look like? We're making an exit wound. 714 00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:33,074 - Oh, let me try. 715 00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,825 - Whoa! - Wrong arm! Wrong arm! 716 00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:36,702 - Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm blind as a bat here! 717 00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:38,245 - Ah! 718 00:32:38,247 --> 00:32:40,414 - Oh! - Ah! 719 00:32:40,416 --> 00:32:42,583 - Okay. - Alright. Okay. Okay. 720 00:32:42,585 --> 00:32:43,918 Ah! 721 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,087 - Oh, wow. That was satisfying. 722 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,380 - Okay. Okay. - Ah! 723 00:32:47,382 --> 00:32:50,385 - Everything's gonna be fine, brother. Whew! 724 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,887 Oh, fuck muffin. 725 00:32:54,889 --> 00:32:55,974 Klyle. Klyle. 726 00:33:03,022 --> 00:33:05,147 - She must have just bought it. I swear I didn't know! 727 00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:06,440 - Well, now, they know! 728 00:33:06,442 --> 00:33:08,150 - Oh, easy, easy. He's pretty dazed. 729 00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:10,236 Shh. Shh. 730 00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:12,323 - Run. Run! - Shit, shit. 731 00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:15,491 Shotgun! 732 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:20,496 Ah! 733 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,296 Go, go, go, go, go! 734 00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:33,094 Oh, fuck muffin. 735 00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:36,053 - I think I just pissed my pants. 736 00:33:36,055 --> 00:33:37,680 - Are we being followed? - I don't know. 737 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:40,101 I can't tell without any side-view mirrors! 738 00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,019 Shit! Is that them? 739 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,478 - I think so. 740 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,063 Good thing I called shotgun. 741 00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:48,524 - Whoa! What the fuck are you doing, Danny? Calm down. 742 00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:49,817 - It's okay, alright? 743 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,694 I'm just gonna shoot out the tires. 744 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:54,071 No blood shall be spilled this day. 745 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:55,908 I mean, no additional blood. 746 00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:59,994 God damn it, Klyle! This one's busted, too! 747 00:33:59,996 --> 00:34:02,204 - No doy. Why do you think it was in the bargain bin? 748 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:03,831 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 749 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:06,000 - What do we do, man? - The only thing we can do. 750 00:34:06,002 --> 00:34:07,668 - We gotta get to a-- - Taco Gary's. 751 00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:08,794 - It's neutral territory. 752 00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:10,504 No member of the Coalition can do business 753 00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:12,006 inside of a Taco Gary's restaurant. 754 00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:13,841 - Can you please let me out of the car. 755 00:34:13,843 --> 00:34:15,301 - It's the truth, nonbeliever. 756 00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:16,635 When the Coalition was founded, 757 00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,429 fights broke out for tickets off world. 758 00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:20,639 The head elders declared their favorite restaurant, 759 00:34:20,641 --> 00:34:22,641 Taco Gary's, as a safe zone. 760 00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:25,686 Violators of the safe zone had their eyes melted 761 00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:28,731 and their souls sold on the galactic slave market. 762 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,733 - It's not that bad. He's exaggerating. 763 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,235 The galactic slave market closed about seven years ago. 764 00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:34,612 Okay. Just keep going straight. 765 00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:36,530 I think there's one just over Jeremonte Ridge. 766 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:37,531 - Copy that. 767 00:34:57,970 --> 00:34:58,971 Get in. 768 00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:02,765 Welcome to Taco Gary's. 769 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:04,475 Try the new single buffalo blast... 770 00:35:04,477 --> 00:35:05,601 - Sit, sit, sit, sit. 771 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:07,478 - ...available for a limited time... 772 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:11,232 It's okay. 773 00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:12,274 - Danny. 774 00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:13,984 - It's okay. Stop staring. 775 00:35:13,986 --> 00:35:15,945 We're safe for now. 776 00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,571 - Safe for now, but how the heck 777 00:35:17,573 --> 00:35:20,616 are we gonna get out of here alive? 778 00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:23,035 ...try Taco Gary's chaos-adilla. 779 00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:24,995 - I don't know. You guys sure she want to kill us? 780 00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:27,623 - Mm-hmm. What she wants is what I stole, 781 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:30,167 and she'll happily string us up by our testicles to get it. 782 00:35:30,169 --> 00:35:31,544 - Oof. - And your vagina. Sorry. 783 00:35:31,546 --> 00:35:32,795 - Thank you. - You should go 784 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,463 before you're implicated any further. 785 00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:37,258 - You can shove that idea, 786 00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:39,969 because I'm going with you guys all the way to Ottawa. 787 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,512 I gotta see this thing through, buddy. 788 00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:44,598 - No. I can't be responsible for another soul, Klyle. 789 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,142 - Oh, but this guy gets to go? 790 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:49,145 This useless piece of this guy? No way. 791 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,230 Probably couldn't shoot a pheasant out of the sky 792 00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:52,648 with a sightless crossbow, 793 00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:54,275 but you know who can? 794 00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:56,026 Cash Israel. Yeah. 795 00:35:56,028 --> 00:35:57,403 - You're not friends with him again. 796 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,988 - Yes, I am. - You guys are talking? 797 00:35:58,990 --> 00:36:00,906 Yeah. We're talking, and we're tight. 798 00:36:00,908 --> 00:36:02,366 And he told me one thing. He said, 799 00:36:02,368 --> 00:36:04,618 "I'm gonna teach you everything I know, pal." 800 00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,579 And then he gave me a kiss on the cheek. 801 00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:11,083 Look. What I have here is worth 27.7 million USD. 802 00:36:11,085 --> 00:36:12,710 I can-- 803 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,672 I cannot be responsible for another soul, Klyle. 804 00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:17,756 - Fine. - Thank you. 805 00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:22,386 - I'll leave, but I'm not going out without doing this! 806 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,265 What is this thing? 807 00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,601 It's frigging heavy. 808 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:30,146 What the... It's bolted. 809 00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,613 Fine. 810 00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:41,824 God damn it. 811 00:36:43,242 --> 00:36:44,700 Okay. Okay. 812 00:36:44,702 --> 00:36:46,619 - Klyle's a lot. 813 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,245 Wha-- What are you doing? 814 00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:49,872 - Jesus. Are you that unaware? 815 00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:51,790 I am done with all of this. 816 00:36:51,792 --> 00:36:54,501 I'm taking whatever you stole, and I'm calling the police. 817 00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:56,962 - You can't do that. What about getting to Ottawa on time, huh? 818 00:36:56,964 --> 00:36:59,173 - If I stay with you, I'll probably never make it up there. 819 00:36:59,175 --> 00:37:00,174 - Let go of my fucking bag! 820 00:37:00,176 --> 00:37:01,219 - Let go! - Hey! 821 00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,722 - Did you take something out of here? Huh? 822 00:37:05,806 --> 00:37:06,891 Hell. 823 00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:09,435 What the fuck? 824 00:37:13,689 --> 00:37:16,357 Ah! You truce-breaking fuck! 825 00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:18,651 What happened to the Taco Gary's peace? 826 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,653 - I beg your pardon? - Don't play dumb with me. 827 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,363 I know you're a member of the Coalition. 828 00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:23,866 - Danny. Danny! 829 00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:32,831 - No, no, Klyle! No! No, no, no, no! Fuck! Fuck! 830 00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,750 Hey! Watch where you're going! 831 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:37,211 - Fuck. God damn it! 832 00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:39,755 I swear to God, I'm going to rip off his fucking head, 833 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:41,257 shove it up his ass, and fuck-- 834 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,343 - Shut up! 835 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:48,097 Listen to me very closely. 836 00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:49,225 You're fucking insane. 837 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:53,435 - But-- - There is no "but", asshole. 838 00:37:53,437 --> 00:37:55,020 - Wow. I can't believe 839 00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:56,855 my own brother's turning against me, too. 840 00:37:56,857 --> 00:37:59,233 - Of course you can't believe it, because it's the truth. 841 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:01,860 Look at me. I have been shot and stabbed and-- and drugged 842 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:04,196 and fucking kidnapped, all in the last 16 hours. 843 00:38:04,198 --> 00:38:05,406 - I know this sounds crazy, 844 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:07,658 but it's still all part of the plan, okay? 845 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,660 I don't like seeing you like this! You know how hard it is-- 846 00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:11,453 - Oh, my God! Are you actually trying to play the victim 847 00:38:11,455 --> 00:38:13,914 right now, seriously? You have got to be 848 00:38:13,916 --> 00:38:16,709 the most selfishly psychotic fuck-up 849 00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:18,252 on the entire planet, 850 00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:21,046 and I am not gonna let you ruin my life anymore. 851 00:38:21,048 --> 00:38:22,548 - Wait. No. You can't go. 852 00:38:23,759 --> 00:38:25,261 - This whole trip is about you. 853 00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:30,389 - Mom and Dad were right to cut you out of their lives, 854 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:34,852 and my only regret... is that I didn't do the same. 855 00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:37,857 You are what's wrong with this world, Danny. 856 00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:40,609 Never contact me again. 857 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:46,073 You coming? 858 00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:52,619 Come on, Allison. You are clearly a smart person. 859 00:38:52,621 --> 00:38:55,080 If you want some excitement in your life, just buy a Vespa. 860 00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:57,291 It's a lot safer than all this! 861 00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:06,550 - I'm going to stay with Danny. 862 00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:08,594 - Ah! 863 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,972 Okay! Okay! 864 00:39:11,974 --> 00:39:16,435 Am I the last sane person left in this entire country? 865 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:18,270 Okay! Okay! 866 00:39:18,272 --> 00:39:20,689 - It's okay. Just let him cool off a little bit. 867 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:21,815 He ain't going far. 868 00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:24,443 You want a burrito? I'm starving. 869 00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:38,084 - Okay. 870 00:39:42,296 --> 00:39:44,505 Uh, excuse me. 871 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:46,882 Hey, uh, can I use your phone? 872 00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:49,051 - I'm not allowed to let customers use the phone. 873 00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:50,260 Use your own damn phone. 874 00:39:50,262 --> 00:39:51,970 - Right. Well, that is a very good idea, 875 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:53,847 except it has been stolen. 876 00:39:53,849 --> 00:39:55,849 Hence why I'm asking to borrow yours. 877 00:39:55,851 --> 00:39:57,309 - Customers aren't allowed. 878 00:39:57,311 --> 00:39:59,395 - It's an emergency. - What kind of emergency? 879 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,814 - Well, I have been kidnapped and shot, for one. 880 00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:03,607 - You been shot? 881 00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:05,192 You think I'm dumb. 882 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,152 This motherfucker. 883 00:40:07,154 --> 00:40:09,113 - Would it help if I told you that my fiancée's dog 884 00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:11,365 has been kidnapped by a one-eyed Portuguese man 885 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,367 and I need to tell the police about it? 886 00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:14,662 Of course. 887 00:40:15,663 --> 00:40:16,789 Here. Take it. 888 00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:27,714 - 911. - What's your emergency? 889 00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:29,591 - Yes. Hello. Hi. My name is Luke Davenport, 890 00:40:29,593 --> 00:40:32,010 and I have been kidnapped by my brother, Danny Davenport. 891 00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:34,721 I-- I believe he is wanted, or maybe we both are, 892 00:40:34,723 --> 00:40:36,390 but I-- I am the victim here. 893 00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:38,934 I was the one who was kidnapped, and I have been drugged. 894 00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:40,561 And I have been shot, and-- and you-- 895 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:42,231 One moment, please. 896 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,153 - So... what brings you out here? 897 00:40:48,195 --> 00:40:49,570 - Were you not listening? 898 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:52,448 - Oh. Dog guy, right? 899 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,324 Is your brother currently with you? 900 00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:55,742 - No, he is not. 901 00:40:55,744 --> 00:40:57,161 What's your location? 902 00:40:57,163 --> 00:40:58,745 - Hey, what's the name of this place? 903 00:40:58,747 --> 00:41:00,706 - Huh? What's that? 904 00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:02,126 - Where are we? 905 00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,129 - You know, if anything happened to my little ruff-ruff, 906 00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:08,507 - I'd do the same. - I don't... 907 00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,343 Whoa! 908 00:41:13,345 --> 00:41:14,970 - Hands on your fucking head. 909 00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:16,180 Hands on your fucking head! 910 00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:18,098 - Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait, wait, wait, wait! 911 00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:20,392 - I'm on your side! - I'm on your side. 912 00:41:20,394 --> 00:41:22,019 I don't really sound like that. Come on. 913 00:41:22,021 --> 00:41:23,520 Oh. What the fuck is that? 914 00:41:23,522 --> 00:41:24,771 - Sir, that's my penis! 915 00:41:24,773 --> 00:41:26,315 - Wow. Very nice. 916 00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:27,774 It's very nice, but a lot of skin. 917 00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:29,485 What's wrong with that? What's happening there? 918 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,944 - What? No! You don't understand! 919 00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:34,072 - I was taken against my will-- - Shut the fuck up! 920 00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,492 - No. It's-- It's Danny that you want, 921 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,785 and I-- I can tell you where he's going! 922 00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:40,829 - You think I'm dumb? Huh? 923 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:43,040 He's going to Ottawa, him and your other accomplice, 924 00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,666 the kooky guy with the beautiful hair. 925 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,710 - No. They are not my accomplices. 926 00:41:46,712 --> 00:41:48,337 - Heh! So you do think I'm dumb. 927 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,796 Okay. That's how we're going to play it? 928 00:41:49,798 --> 00:41:51,590 - No. No. Listen. I just-- I just-- I need to talk 929 00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,759 to a lawyer, okay? I do get one phone call? 930 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:55,802 - Oh, my friend, that is where you're wrong. 931 00:41:55,804 --> 00:41:57,554 You see, I'm not the police, 932 00:41:57,556 --> 00:42:00,390 and you don't get to call nobody. 933 00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:03,852 What? 934 00:42:10,819 --> 00:42:12,196 - Come on. 935 00:42:35,886 --> 00:42:37,219 What is this place? 936 00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:40,222 - My summer bomb shelter, of course. 937 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,598 Jason Biggs? 938 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,226 - What? Were you expecting Todd Simmons or something? 939 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:47,729 - Uh-oh! That was good. Oh, my goodness. 940 00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:49,314 That was funny. 941 00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:50,524 Oh, yeah. 942 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,234 - You're supposed to be dead. 943 00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:53,860 - God. You look terrible, buddy. 944 00:42:53,862 --> 00:42:55,237 Tiago, did you offer him a drink? 945 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,738 - I did not. - What about some mango? 946 00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:58,282 I could slice one up for you. 947 00:42:58,284 --> 00:42:59,700 - I'm okay. 948 00:42:59,702 --> 00:43:01,535 - What do you think, Tiago? Should we, like, 949 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:03,245 tie him up or something? Is that a good idea? 950 00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:05,414 You know, it's really whatever you feel, Jason. 951 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:08,083 - I don't know, Tiago. That's why I was asking you. 952 00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:10,043 - Do we even have rope? - Oh, we have rope. Come on. 953 00:43:10,045 --> 00:43:12,129 - Okay. Great. Then we might as well use it, right? 954 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,171 Mm-hmm. 955 00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:15,424 - Maybe some duct tape for his mouth? 956 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,092 - Huh? How's that look? 957 00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:18,343 - Perfect. - Great. 958 00:43:18,345 --> 00:43:19,595 - Well done, Tiago. - Thank you. 959 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:20,929 - Go have yourself some mango. 960 00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:22,347 - Hey, I don't want to be rude, 961 00:43:22,349 --> 00:43:23,765 but I'm kind of, like, ugh, 962 00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:26,312 up to here with mangos for today, so... 963 00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:33,483 - Suit yourself. Heh. 964 00:43:33,485 --> 00:43:35,652 Lots of good mangos not being taken advantage of. 965 00:43:35,654 --> 00:43:36,987 True. 966 00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,364 So... ahem, you are probably wondering 967 00:43:39,366 --> 00:43:41,366 why haven't we shot you in the face yet? 968 00:43:41,368 --> 00:43:43,201 Unh-unh. - It's because we need 969 00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:46,246 your brother, the criminal formerly known 970 00:43:46,248 --> 00:43:49,499 as Sheriff Deacon Shrimp. 971 00:43:49,501 --> 00:43:53,378 You see, I... am the victim here, okay? 972 00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:56,340 Sure, myself and thousands of others 973 00:43:56,342 --> 00:43:59,092 may be faking our death in order to... 974 00:43:59,094 --> 00:44:01,637 Well, I'm sure you know all that. 975 00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:05,057 - What's that? 976 00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:10,145 - Is... 977 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:11,563 - Do you get-- What? One more time. 978 00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:16,109 - This is-- This is making me so uncomfortable. 979 00:44:16,111 --> 00:44:18,654 This whole, like, you know, tied-up interrogation vibe, 980 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,197 it makes me feel like the bad guy. 981 00:44:20,199 --> 00:44:21,782 - And you're not the bad guy. - Exactly. 982 00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:23,116 - You are the victim. - Thank you. 983 00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:24,951 - Let's scale it back. - Let's scale it back. 984 00:44:24,953 --> 00:44:27,913 - Yeah. Little bit. - Scaling it back. Okay. 985 00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,291 Uh... 986 00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:33,504 - Nope. Uh, okay. 987 00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:36,505 How does this look, Tiago? 988 00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,048 - Yeah. You know, it looks like two guys 989 00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,966 just casually enjoying mangos. 990 00:44:39,968 --> 00:44:42,511 - Perfect! Perfect. Okay. Great. 991 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:44,137 Great. Now, uh, where was I? 992 00:44:44,139 --> 00:44:45,931 Ah, yes. 993 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:49,685 The point is, I am not hurting anyone, 994 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,478 but if I don't have my ticket, 995 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,564 this whole charade would be for naught, right? 996 00:44:54,566 --> 00:44:55,649 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. 997 00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:58,443 So I need you to contact your brother 998 00:44:58,445 --> 00:44:59,945 and explain the situation. 999 00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:01,613 - What is the situation? 1000 00:45:01,615 --> 00:45:04,282 That I'm being held hostage? 1001 00:45:04,284 --> 00:45:05,617 - Hold up! - Whoa! 1002 00:45:05,619 --> 00:45:07,452 Wait a minute. 1003 00:45:07,454 --> 00:45:09,162 - Stop that. - Yikes. 1004 00:45:09,164 --> 00:45:10,664 - Whew! Big word. - No. That's, uh-- 1005 00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:13,333 Ooh, that word. And-- and again, 1006 00:45:13,335 --> 00:45:16,169 I am not the bad guy, okay? 1007 00:45:16,171 --> 00:45:17,379 - You know what? - Yep? 1008 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:18,630 - Tiago? - Yep? 1009 00:45:18,632 --> 00:45:20,090 Bring the ropes back. 1010 00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:23,218 Okay. Much better. Much better. 1011 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,471 Now, you need to inform your brother 1012 00:45:26,473 --> 00:45:29,808 that he has 24 hours to find that Kyle friend of his. 1013 00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:31,601 - Uh, it's-- it's Klyle. 1014 00:45:31,603 --> 00:45:33,061 - What? 1015 00:45:33,063 --> 00:45:34,271 - His name is Klyle. 1016 00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:35,856 - Are you, like, stuttering, or is... 1017 00:45:35,858 --> 00:45:37,023 - No, it's Klyle. 1018 00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:38,984 - Klyle? - With, like, an L-sound? 1019 00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:40,068 - Yeah. - Huh. 1020 00:45:40,070 --> 00:45:42,320 - K-L? - Y-L-E. 1021 00:45:42,322 --> 00:45:43,321 - Uh... - Oh. 1022 00:45:43,323 --> 00:45:44,865 - Stupid name. - Yeah. 1023 00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:47,492 - That does explain, though, why he's been so difficult to track. 1024 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,327 - He got you. - Yeah. Very clever. 1025 00:45:49,329 --> 00:45:51,246 Very clever. Regardless... 1026 00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:54,416 You need to facilitate returning what is rightfully mine, 1027 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,585 or... 1028 00:45:57,629 --> 00:45:59,129 - This dog gets it. 1029 00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:01,298 Who-- Whose dog is that? 1030 00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:03,633 - Lives are on the line here! 1031 00:46:03,635 --> 00:46:05,844 Don't make Tiago become the bad guy. 1032 00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:07,137 - I'll do it, but I don't want to. 1033 00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:08,680 - Danny doesn't even have a cell phone! 1034 00:46:08,682 --> 00:46:10,348 There's literally no way to contact him. 1035 00:46:10,350 --> 00:46:11,892 - Oh well, in that case, Tiago? 1036 00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:14,019 - Bye-bye, puppy. - No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait. 1037 00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:16,313 Wait. I just remembered. He gave me this. 1038 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:19,566 Damn it. 1039 00:46:19,568 --> 00:46:21,234 - Oopsie. - Tiago? 1040 00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:22,444 - Yeah. 1041 00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,863 - Did we not frisk him? - I did! 1042 00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,114 I did, Jason, I swear. 1043 00:46:26,116 --> 00:46:27,866 It's just, I got super distracted 1044 00:46:27,868 --> 00:46:30,118 by his massive amount of foreskin, man. 1045 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,828 It was like tickling a Shar Pei, man. 1046 00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:33,999 - You could feel all that? - Dude, you can see it! 1047 00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:38,502 - Oh my God. Wow. You can see it. 1048 00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:40,086 - Yeah. - Very nice. 1049 00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:42,088 - What is it? - I don't know. 1050 00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:44,466 He told me it's like, a locating beacon 1051 00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:47,052 for if we ever get separated. 1052 00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:49,805 - This is obviously just a black Rubik's cube. 1053 00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:52,140 Oh, I see what's happening. You think we're dumb. 1054 00:46:52,142 --> 00:46:53,850 - No, no, no. No, no, no. 1055 00:46:53,852 --> 00:46:56,061 No, not at all. 1056 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,188 I know my tech, and that is definitely 1057 00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:00,565 some Elder high tech right there. 1058 00:47:00,567 --> 00:47:01,900 - Okay, fine. 1059 00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:03,360 How does it work, smart guy? 1060 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,739 - I-- I don't know. 1061 00:47:07,157 --> 00:47:08,490 - Um... 1062 00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,075 What if I just, like, twist it? 1063 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,618 - Good thinking. - Great. 1064 00:47:36,311 --> 00:47:38,687 ♪ Born a worm ♪ 1065 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:41,064 ♪ Spins a cocoon ♪ 1066 00:47:41,066 --> 00:47:43,316 ♪ Goes to sleep ♪ 1067 00:47:43,318 --> 00:47:45,527 ♪ Wakes up a butterfly ♪ 1068 00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:50,033 ♪ Oh, what the fuck is that about? ♪ 1069 00:47:51,034 --> 00:47:55,370 ♪ What the fuck is that about? ♪ 1070 00:47:55,372 --> 00:47:59,958 ♪ Oooh-ooh ♪ 1071 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:04,796 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 1072 00:48:04,798 --> 00:48:07,007 ♪ Oooh ♪ 1073 00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:12,762 There's Mr. Sleepy Head! 1074 00:48:12,764 --> 00:48:14,764 - What happened? - I don't know. 1075 00:48:14,766 --> 00:48:17,309 You were just having one crazy ass nightmare or something. 1076 00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:20,061 I'm just kidding. Jason Biggs really did kidnap you. 1077 00:48:20,063 --> 00:48:22,731 I figured you'd wander off at some point and get snagged 1078 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,150 by one of his minions, so the beacon I gave you 1079 00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:26,818 was actually an Elder stun grenade. 1080 00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:32,618 What the fuck is going on?! 1081 00:48:34,703 --> 00:48:36,494 - I haven't been completely honest with you. 1082 00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:37,746 - No shit! 1083 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,831 - The police aren't the only ones that are after me. 1084 00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:42,584 I had in my possession extremely classified information. 1085 00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:44,502 Proof that aliens not only exist 1086 00:48:44,504 --> 00:48:45,879 but have been living amongst us 1087 00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,216 since the 1996 Summer Olympics. 1088 00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:54,262 You just had your first run-in with a member of the Coalition. 1089 00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:57,641 They're a group of tech giants and celebrities and politicians 1090 00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,351 who have been secretly dealing with 1091 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:01,978 said extra-terrestrial beings, we call them "Elders," 1092 00:49:01,980 --> 00:49:04,942 selling Earth's natural resources for decades. 1093 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:12,822 The Coalition agreed to let the Elders suck the Earth dry 1094 00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:14,240 under two conditions. 1095 00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:16,034 One, that they would provide space shuttles 1096 00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:17,285 to go to a new habitable world, 1097 00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:20,624 and two, that they'd get 10% of the back end. 1098 00:49:24,086 --> 00:49:26,127 Why do you think so many rich and famous people 1099 00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:28,463 have been dying at such a rapid pace these last few years? 1100 00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:30,173 Take Jason Biggs, for instance. 1101 00:49:30,175 --> 00:49:31,633 It's because they're not dying! 1102 00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:33,843 They're covering up for the fact that they are leaving 1103 00:49:33,845 --> 00:49:35,762 this God-forsaken rock for greener pastures. 1104 00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:37,013 - I didn't believe it either 1105 00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:38,848 until I saw Jason Biggs face down in a mango. 1106 00:49:38,850 --> 00:49:41,267 It might be the most insane conspiracy theory on the planet, 1107 00:49:41,269 --> 00:49:43,019 but if everything Danny is saying is true, 1108 00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:45,438 then we've gotta do something about it. 1109 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,857 - I don't care! 1110 00:49:47,859 --> 00:49:50,276 Stop involving me in this! 1111 00:49:50,278 --> 00:49:52,570 - We want to let the world know that the planet 1112 00:49:52,572 --> 00:49:54,447 is being sold off by the Coalition. 1113 00:49:54,449 --> 00:49:55,782 - I don't care! 1114 00:49:55,784 --> 00:49:57,909 I just want to go to Ottawa! That's it! 1115 00:49:57,911 --> 00:49:59,160 - We're gonna make it to Ottawa, 1116 00:49:59,162 --> 00:50:00,537 and you're gonna get there on time. 1117 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,539 And once the whistle is blown, no one can touch us. 1118 00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:04,165 Like Snowden and other tattletales, 1119 00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:06,334 we'll be protected and our names will be cleared. 1120 00:50:06,336 --> 00:50:08,670 But you're gonna have to stick with us. 1121 00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:10,130 Okay, buddy? 1122 00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:11,715 How do you feel about that? 1123 00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:21,391 God damn Coalition. 1124 00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:23,435 We don't have time for this. 1125 00:50:23,437 --> 00:50:24,938 Ooh. 1126 00:50:35,115 --> 00:50:36,740 - You all right? 1127 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,450 - I just wanted a better life. 1128 00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:41,036 A fresh start in a new place. 1129 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:44,372 - You'll get it... one way or another. 1130 00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:48,043 - Look at what he has done to me. 1131 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,253 Oh, wait, you can't, 1132 00:50:50,255 --> 00:50:54,174 because you prefer to be blind! 1133 00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:55,550 This isn't normal! 1134 00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:57,177 - There's no such thing as normal, Luke. 1135 00:50:57,179 --> 00:50:58,636 Look, I used to have 1136 00:50:58,638 --> 00:51:00,263 a strong narrative that I believed in. 1137 00:51:00,265 --> 00:51:01,890 - Stay back! - But after my mom's death, 1138 00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:03,725 and losing everything to a houseboat fire, 1139 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,518 I realized the only way I was going to survive 1140 00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,396 this chaotic world is if I just kept admitting to myself 1141 00:51:08,398 --> 00:51:09,856 that I don't get it. 1142 00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:12,484 I had to accept the absurdity, accept the chaos. 1143 00:51:12,486 --> 00:51:14,527 Accept the Todd Simmons of it all. 1144 00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:16,823 - Okay, we've gotta go. Right now. 1145 00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:27,499 - Hey, boss, can... I just have, like, a couple of notes 1146 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:31,169 but like, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Okay? 1147 00:51:31,171 --> 00:51:32,879 - Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. - Okay, 1148 00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:35,048 sometimes I feel like we can, um, like, 1149 00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:39,010 shorten the time between, like, talking to the people 1150 00:51:39,012 --> 00:51:41,054 - and, like, killing them. - That's a good note. 1151 00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:42,680 Good note. Thank you. 1152 00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:44,682 - You know, the power that you exude 1153 00:51:44,684 --> 00:51:46,893 when you, like, say less, is, wow. 1154 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:49,145 - I understand what you're saying. I get it. I get it. 1155 00:51:49,147 --> 00:51:51,106 - Thank you, Tiago. - But, like, do you, though? 1156 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,941 - Yes, Tiago! I said I get it. 1157 00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:54,236 God. 1158 00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:02,450 - I have what you seek. If you'd like to end this race, 1159 00:52:02,452 --> 00:52:04,202 come to the following coordinates 1160 00:52:04,204 --> 00:52:06,454 with $27.7 million dollars 1161 00:52:06,456 --> 00:52:09,624 in a large Gucci Vuitton briefcase. 1162 00:52:09,626 --> 00:52:11,543 This is Klyle, by the way. 1163 00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:15,004 You know I don't mess around. 1164 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,135 How do I turn this off? 1165 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,679 I was not shitting. 1166 00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:27,477 Did you hear that? 1167 00:52:29,020 --> 00:52:30,395 No, I'm pretty far away. 1168 00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:31,980 - What? - No. 1169 00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:34,941 - 'Cause I'm pretty far away. - Okay. 1170 00:52:34,943 --> 00:52:38,695 - Hey, Tiago, what rhymes with "12:30 am"? 1171 00:52:38,697 --> 00:52:40,655 - Phlegm. - Phlegm! Okay, yeah. 1172 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,240 I can make that work. 1173 00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:45,326 - Oh. Looks like Klyle just crossed the border. 1174 00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:46,661 - How do you know? 1175 00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:49,164 - Same reason I knew where Luke was... microchips. 1176 00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,374 You see, your soccer mom conspiracy theorist 1177 00:52:51,376 --> 00:52:53,835 thinks that the government tracks us through vaccines. 1178 00:52:53,837 --> 00:52:56,421 Not true. In fact, not even the Elders have that kind of tech. 1179 00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:58,298 No, it's any time you go get your teeth cleaned 1180 00:52:58,300 --> 00:53:00,967 or a cavity filled, the dentist injects you with microchips. 1181 00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:03,261 - So, you're saying all dentists are actually undercover 1182 00:53:03,263 --> 00:53:05,013 - government agents? - Contractors, yes. 1183 00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:07,015 Think about it. I mean, have you ever met a dentist 1184 00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:09,684 that doesn't seem like they're hiding some horrible secret? 1185 00:53:09,686 --> 00:53:11,019 The answer is no. 1186 00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:13,438 So, what's our plan for crossing, badger? 1187 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,024 - Oh, hah! 1188 00:53:18,653 --> 00:53:20,862 Now it's time for you to get a taste of your own bullshit! 1189 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,113 Go on, tell him, Allison. 1190 00:53:22,115 --> 00:53:23,990 Tell him that you-- you're not really a badger 1191 00:53:23,992 --> 00:53:25,909 or whatever the fuck. Or no, no, better yet, 1192 00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:28,411 why don't you say... 1193 00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:30,830 "I haven't been completely honest with you, Danny." 1194 00:53:30,832 --> 00:53:32,415 - Luke, I don't think you-- 1195 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:35,128 - No, no! Just, tell him the truth. 1196 00:53:37,172 --> 00:53:39,923 - I haven't been completely honest with you, Danny. 1197 00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:42,342 - Ha-ha! 1198 00:53:42,344 --> 00:53:44,093 - What do you mean? 1199 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:52,644 I mean... the subterranean bobsled track that was 1200 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,479 big enough to smuggle cars collapsed last fall. 1201 00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:56,272 We're gonna have to pass through cross point 11 1202 00:53:56,274 --> 00:53:58,149 using a basic diversion tactic. From 3pm to 5pm there are 1203 00:53:58,151 --> 00:53:59,859 only two agents stopping us from getting across. 1204 00:53:59,861 --> 00:54:01,569 From there, it's a straight shot to highway 34. 1205 00:54:01,571 --> 00:54:03,529 - God damn it! 1206 00:54:03,531 --> 00:54:05,823 - So, your subterranean bobsled track, that's like, 1207 00:54:05,825 --> 00:54:07,825 a Canadian version of an Underground Railroad. 1208 00:54:07,827 --> 00:54:09,369 - Shut up! - Would've been perfect. 1209 00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:12,163 No matter. So, what's your diversion plan? 1210 00:54:12,165 --> 00:54:14,332 - I'll leave that up to you, but it's gotta be big. 1211 00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:16,542 Afterwards, meet up at these coordinates just north 1212 00:54:16,544 --> 00:54:18,419 - of the border. - Copy that. Roger. 1213 00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:20,088 Over and out. 1214 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:22,006 These days, its hard to hold anyone's attention, 1215 00:54:22,008 --> 00:54:24,217 so it's gotta make as little sense as possible. 1216 00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,845 We need to make a few stops. 1217 00:54:37,691 --> 00:54:40,733 Phew! Well, that went smoothly. 1218 00:54:40,735 --> 00:54:42,360 Okay. According to Klyle's teeth, 1219 00:54:42,362 --> 00:54:44,362 he's just off the main road by Big Mountain Crest. 1220 00:54:44,364 --> 00:54:46,364 Aren't you even gonna ask me how I made it look like 1221 00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:48,241 I sucked the blood out of that live chicken 1222 00:54:48,243 --> 00:54:52,120 without actually having-- 1223 00:55:15,603 --> 00:55:17,854 Bawk-bawk. Bawk... 1224 00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:19,480 What happened? 1225 00:55:19,482 --> 00:55:21,899 - Is that rhetorical, or can you actually not see? 1226 00:55:21,901 --> 00:55:23,236 - Both. 1227 00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:31,036 - Whoa. 1228 00:55:32,370 --> 00:55:35,121 I can tell by Klyle's teeth he's still alive. 1229 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,206 We just have to follow his tracks. 1230 00:55:37,208 --> 00:55:40,209 You can see here, he was dragged off by several people 1231 00:55:40,211 --> 00:55:42,962 or one person who was really good at break dancing. 1232 00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:45,131 We'll go with the former. 1233 00:55:49,596 --> 00:55:50,678 - You okay, bud? 1234 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,388 - Oh, yeah. I'm totally cool, man. 1235 00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:54,057 - I know that look. 1236 00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:56,517 You look like you're about to have as psychotic break. 1237 00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:58,728 - Right again, Danny! 1238 00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:00,646 You've actually been right about a lot lately. 1239 00:56:00,648 --> 00:56:02,648 - But? - No, there's no "but," man. 1240 00:56:02,650 --> 00:56:04,901 You're fucking Galileo. You're-- You're-- 1241 00:56:04,903 --> 00:56:06,361 You're the boy with the wolf. 1242 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,237 In fact, I can't believe I'm about to say this 1243 00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:10,698 after everything you've put me through, but... 1244 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:13,034 I am sorry for ever doubting you. 1245 00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:16,162 You clearly know more about how the world works than I do. 1246 00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:18,539 In fact, I would give you a hug right now, 1247 00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:19,707 if I could, but you know. 1248 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:21,876 - Well, that's so sweet. 1249 00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:24,712 I'm glad you finally came around. 1250 00:56:24,714 --> 00:56:26,257 - Yeah. 1251 00:56:27,592 --> 00:56:29,092 - Aww. Love you, man. 1252 00:56:29,094 --> 00:56:30,718 - Love you too. 1253 00:56:32,806 --> 00:56:34,514 - Fuck! - No! No! Back off! 1254 00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:36,057 - Back off! - Calm down! 1255 00:56:36,059 --> 00:56:39,060 - I am calm. I am being calm. I am the only one whose calm. 1256 00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:40,311 No, no, no, no! 1257 00:56:40,313 --> 00:56:41,854 That's better. Ow! 1258 00:56:41,856 --> 00:56:43,898 What are you doing? 1259 00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:48,569 Ooh! 1260 00:56:48,571 --> 00:56:50,780 Fuck! Stop! Jesus Christ! 1261 00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:52,407 - Focus on the eyes, look me in the eyes. 1262 00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,699 - You look at me! - Calm down. 1263 00:56:53,701 --> 00:56:55,493 - You can't even see! You can't see any of this! 1264 00:56:55,495 --> 00:56:57,286 Get some fucking glasses! 1265 00:56:57,288 --> 00:56:59,455 What? No! Stop. Okay, enough! 1266 00:56:59,457 --> 00:57:01,082 Fuck. Ah. 1267 00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:02,834 Ow, fuck! I did too much. Gimme one more. 1268 00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:05,420 Ah! Now we're even. Okay. 1269 00:57:08,216 --> 00:57:10,091 - No, no, wait! Wait! What about our deal? 1270 00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,051 - I'm dealing with this. - Hey, a deal is a deal. 1271 00:57:12,053 --> 00:57:14,595 We signed the contract in Taco Gary's guacamole picante. 1272 00:57:14,597 --> 00:57:16,472 - I did my part. - Okay. 1273 00:57:16,474 --> 00:57:18,975 Take your damn ticket. 1274 00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:20,145 Wait up! 1275 00:57:21,187 --> 00:57:22,730 Good luck. 1276 00:57:24,732 --> 00:57:26,151 Got the golden ticket. 1277 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:28,818 Not bad, bro! 1278 00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:30,653 I'm proud of you for taking the initiative. 1279 00:57:30,655 --> 00:57:32,488 You don't need me anymore. Let me go. 1280 00:57:32,490 --> 00:57:34,323 - There's no point in leaving, Luke. 1281 00:57:34,325 --> 00:57:37,162 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1282 00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:40,580 There is no job in Ottawa. 1283 00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:41,998 - Nice try. Go fuck yourself! 1284 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,167 - There's not. I made the whole thing up. 1285 00:57:44,169 --> 00:57:45,626 - It's not gonna work! 1286 00:57:45,628 --> 00:57:47,295 - All right, if you don't believe me, 1287 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:49,130 take the name of that new dinosaur, 1288 00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:51,966 "Snommisddot," and spell it backwards. 1289 00:57:51,968 --> 00:57:53,634 - As if! 1290 00:57:53,636 --> 00:57:56,179 That's-- That's just the stupidest thing I ever... 1291 00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:04,395 No. No... 1292 00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:06,689 - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1293 00:58:06,691 --> 00:58:08,900 It spells "Todd Simmons," doesn't it. 1294 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,904 - I'm sorry, brother, but the ends justify the beans, okay? 1295 00:58:12,906 --> 00:58:14,908 This is for your own good. 1296 00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:18,993 It was you? 1297 00:58:18,995 --> 00:58:23,915 This whole time, the months of emails. 1298 00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:26,792 And the calls. 1299 00:58:26,794 --> 00:58:29,086 The fucking femur bone? 1300 00:58:29,088 --> 00:58:32,006 - Yeah, it was a lot of work, 1301 00:58:32,008 --> 00:58:34,886 but I knew it was the only way to safely get you to Ottawa. 1302 00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:38,346 - Why do you hate me so much? 1303 00:58:38,348 --> 00:58:40,890 I don't hate you. I love you! 1304 00:58:40,892 --> 00:58:42,850 And it doesn't change anything. 1305 00:58:42,852 --> 00:58:44,644 Whether you like it or not, 1306 00:58:44,646 --> 00:58:46,145 I'm the one that got you into this mess 1307 00:58:46,147 --> 00:58:47,688 and I'm the only one who can get you out, 1308 00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:49,148 so, we have to stick together. 1309 00:58:49,150 --> 00:58:50,816 Alright, look, feel free to punch me. 1310 00:58:50,818 --> 00:58:52,235 I deserve it. Come on. Let me have it. 1311 00:58:52,237 --> 00:58:53,988 I can't feel my face anyways. 1312 00:59:10,338 --> 00:59:12,463 Come on, bro, I'm sorry! 1313 00:59:12,465 --> 00:59:15,134 Just let me explain everything, all right? 1314 00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:23,766 Klyle, you dirty piece of shit. 1315 00:59:23,768 --> 00:59:25,601 I know exactly what happened here. 1316 00:59:25,603 --> 00:59:27,728 He's trying to give the prize back to the Coalition 1317 00:59:27,730 --> 00:59:29,730 but got taken instead! 1318 00:59:29,732 --> 00:59:32,858 The backstabber becomes the back stabbed, stabbee, 1319 00:59:32,860 --> 00:59:35,611 got-stabbed-in-the-back guy. 1320 00:59:35,613 --> 00:59:37,905 If he only knew that money would be completely worthless 1321 00:59:37,907 --> 00:59:39,532 in two weeks, anyways. 1322 00:59:42,078 --> 00:59:43,619 Who is that? 1323 00:59:43,621 --> 00:59:45,871 - That's... it's Jason Biggs. 1324 00:59:45,873 --> 00:59:49,000 He's trying to... Never mind. 1325 00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,294 - Watch your knees. There we go. There we go. 1326 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,753 Okay, do the rope. 1327 00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:54,005 - Rope, rope, rope, rope. 1328 00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:55,172 Huh? Huh? 1329 00:59:55,174 --> 00:59:57,425 Yeah, there we go. Okay. Very "hostage." 1330 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,218 - Hey, hey, look at me. - No, look at me. 1331 00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:01,262 I'm not the bad guy, okay? 1332 01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:03,097 I'm as much as a victim as you are. 1333 01:00:03,099 --> 01:00:05,433 You think I want to be here? I don't wanna be doing this. 1334 01:00:05,435 --> 01:00:07,560 - Neither do I! - That's why I'm out of here. 1335 01:00:09,314 --> 01:00:10,646 Oh, shit. 1336 01:00:10,648 --> 01:00:12,857 I believe he's trying to kick us. 1337 01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:14,025 Sweep! 1338 01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,319 - And that's why you never take martial arts lessons 1339 01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:18,404 from Cash Israel. It's all leg sweeps. 1340 01:00:18,406 --> 01:00:19,989 - Sweep! Marco. - Polo. 1341 01:00:19,991 --> 01:00:21,657 - Okay. - No, oh, the sweep. 1342 01:00:21,659 --> 01:00:23,618 Go over there. 1343 01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,578 - Marco. - Polo. 1344 01:00:25,580 --> 01:00:27,079 - Now go over there. - Sweep! 1345 01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:28,247 Polo! 1346 01:00:28,249 --> 01:00:30,458 Take the two of you at once! 1347 01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,834 - What in the world is he doing? 1348 01:00:31,836 --> 01:00:34,295 - Axe kick! - I need a break. Hey, hey. 1349 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:36,130 - Let me catch my... - Hey come... 1350 01:00:36,132 --> 01:00:37,923 - Okay. - Let's lay down over here, man. 1351 01:00:37,925 --> 01:00:39,884 - Is this a rest area? - Yeah, rest area. 1352 01:00:39,886 --> 01:00:41,552 Just watch your knees, watch the knees. 1353 01:00:41,554 --> 01:00:43,387 ...some electrolytes. 1354 01:00:43,389 --> 01:00:44,513 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. 1355 01:00:44,515 --> 01:00:46,434 Holy shit! 1356 01:00:48,561 --> 01:00:50,978 - Oh God! No, no, no! - This was supposed to... 1357 01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:52,521 Go check the minivan. 1358 01:00:52,523 --> 01:00:53,898 It's gotta be in there somewhere. 1359 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,524 - Yes, they don't have it yet! 1360 01:00:55,526 --> 01:00:56,942 - Hold my waist! - Okay, I got you. 1361 01:00:56,944 --> 01:00:59,195 - Wait a minute. Do you remember when Klyle was talking 1362 01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:01,072 about a secret smuggling compartment under 1363 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:03,574 - the minivan passenger seat? - Holy shit. They killed him. 1364 01:01:03,576 --> 01:01:04,909 - Yes, it has to be there! 1365 01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:06,243 Come on. 1366 01:01:07,872 --> 01:01:10,623 - Come on, bro! 1367 01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:12,249 Ah! 1368 01:01:12,251 --> 01:01:15,169 She stranded us here! I should have known better. 1369 01:01:15,171 --> 01:01:16,962 It's like Todd Simmons always said-- 1370 01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:19,967 - Danny! - Hang on. Hang on. 1371 01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:22,385 I think it's in here. 1372 01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:24,595 I got it! I got it! 1373 01:01:24,597 --> 01:01:25,805 I found it! I got it! 1374 01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:27,765 - I don't care. - Well, you should care. 1375 01:01:27,767 --> 01:01:29,517 This is probably the most important thing 1376 01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:30,935 that you'll ever-- 1377 01:01:30,937 --> 01:01:31,938 Ah! Shit! 1378 01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:36,732 - Sir! 1379 01:01:36,734 --> 01:01:38,150 Can I have a hug? 1380 01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:40,822 Sir! Can I just please have one hug? 1381 01:01:43,157 --> 01:01:45,284 Sorry, man. 1382 01:01:46,744 --> 01:01:49,078 Oh, let's do this. 1383 01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,038 Wait, how many times did you tranq me again? 1384 01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:52,206 - I don't know, like, five. 1385 01:01:52,208 --> 01:01:56,252 - I... need a bump... of coke... Oh, dear. 1386 01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:58,129 You gotta be kidding me! 1387 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:01,551 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ah! 1388 01:02:03,594 --> 01:02:06,472 Come on. 1389 01:02:15,356 --> 01:02:18,816 Oh! Okay! Uh... 1390 01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:20,192 Whoa! 1391 01:02:20,194 --> 01:02:22,445 Sorry, Danny. Okay. 1392 01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:25,072 What the fuck? No. 1393 01:02:25,074 --> 01:02:27,575 Oh, God. 1394 01:02:27,577 --> 01:02:28,826 Too many fucking pedals! 1395 01:02:30,538 --> 01:02:32,540 Ah! How does this work? Fuck! 1396 01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:40,423 No, leave me alone! 1397 01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:42,467 Fuck! 1398 01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:46,635 Oh, okay, okay, okay. 1399 01:02:46,637 --> 01:02:48,471 Hang on, Danny! 1400 01:03:17,418 --> 01:03:19,295 - Welcome back to Taco Gary's. 1401 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,341 Check your weapons in with me, sir. 1402 01:03:28,012 --> 01:03:29,512 - Okay. 1403 01:03:29,514 --> 01:03:31,347 ...siesta at Taco Gary's, 1404 01:03:31,349 --> 01:03:34,225 so eat up like there's not tomorrow. 1405 01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:36,268 - Okay. 1406 01:03:36,270 --> 01:03:37,394 Okay, buddy. Wakey-wakey. 1407 01:03:39,482 --> 01:03:42,066 Ah! Whoo! Mmm. Mmm. 1408 01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:43,609 - It's okay, it's okay. You're safe now. 1409 01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:45,778 - What happened? Where are we? Are we on the shuttle? 1410 01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,072 - No, we're at Taco Gary's. You passed out. 1411 01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:49,323 - Really? - Yeah. 1412 01:03:49,325 --> 01:03:50,783 - That doesn't sound like me. 1413 01:03:50,785 --> 01:03:53,244 I must've been trying to teach you a valuable life lesson 1414 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:54,537 - or something. - Hey, guys. 1415 01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:57,623 I've gotta say, this has been a blast. Really. 1416 01:03:57,625 --> 01:04:00,960 All the chasing and the shooting, wow! How fun. 1417 01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:02,920 - Okay, it has had its moments. - Come on, right? 1418 01:04:02,922 --> 01:04:04,004 - Yeah, it has. 1419 01:04:04,006 --> 01:04:05,506 We've been having a great time. 1420 01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,132 - What was your favorite, like... 1421 01:04:07,134 --> 01:04:08,968 - Marco Polo was funny. That was really funny, 1422 01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:10,553 watching him run around, he was like... 1423 01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:12,555 - Like, kicking... - He thought there were like, 1424 01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:14,265 six of you. It was great. 1425 01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:17,101 - Anyways, please hand it over. - Oh, you want it? 1426 01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:18,686 - Okay, listen. - This motherfucker. 1427 01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,229 We are aware-- 1428 01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:21,313 - Okay. 1429 01:04:21,315 --> 01:04:23,274 We are aware of the Taco Gary's truce, 1430 01:04:23,276 --> 01:04:25,359 but you're gonna have to leave eventually 1431 01:04:25,361 --> 01:04:26,652 if you want to catch that shuttle. 1432 01:04:26,654 --> 01:04:28,153 - Oh, really, so you can kill us too? 1433 01:04:28,155 --> 01:04:30,030 - If you just hand over the ticket, 1434 01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:32,199 we will let bygones be bygones. 1435 01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:34,201 - You blew my best friend's head off. 1436 01:04:34,203 --> 01:04:36,495 - Mmm, he said you were just associates. 1437 01:04:36,497 --> 01:04:39,373 - No! We were best-- 1438 01:04:39,375 --> 01:04:41,292 actually, you know what, I never really liked the guy. 1439 01:04:41,294 --> 01:04:42,918 - Hey, guys, look me in the eyeball. 1440 01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,629 Right here, okay. Last chance to save your skins. 1441 01:04:45,631 --> 01:04:47,006 Please just fucking hand it over. 1442 01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:48,549 - Yeah, just give it back to 'em, Danny. 1443 01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,426 - No. Fuck you, Jason Biggs, 1444 01:04:50,428 --> 01:04:52,553 - and your Portuguese Popeye. - Super rude. 1445 01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:53,804 - People need to know about this. 1446 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:56,140 - Why? So they can pretend they know what's best for humanity? 1447 01:04:56,142 --> 01:04:59,643 Please. Leave that to us celebrities. 1448 01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:01,562 Yeah, and celebrity-adjacent people. 1449 01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:03,314 - No. - You talked about this to me. 1450 01:05:03,316 --> 01:05:05,107 - Just celebrities. - Sorry I did it again. 1451 01:05:05,109 --> 01:05:06,901 That is enough. 1452 01:05:06,903 --> 01:05:08,195 Oh my goodness. 1453 01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:12,948 - What's this now? - It's a piss-eyed Elder. 1454 01:05:12,950 --> 01:05:14,619 - A what? - A fucking alien, dude. 1455 01:05:27,173 --> 01:05:29,131 - You two. Stand up. 1456 01:05:29,133 --> 01:05:31,425 - Your majesty, these are the ones that have-- 1457 01:05:31,427 --> 01:05:34,388 - Silence. Unless you would like to ejaculate guacamole picante. 1458 01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:37,056 - What? 1459 01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:39,058 - I can make any human secrete guacamole picante 1460 01:05:39,060 --> 01:05:41,020 from any orifice. Behold. 1461 01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:49,777 - See? 1462 01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:52,821 - What do you want, you cunt-quistador? 1463 01:05:52,823 --> 01:05:55,991 - Clever. Follow me. 1464 01:05:55,993 --> 01:05:58,412 Daniel, Lucas. 1465 01:05:59,413 --> 01:06:01,540 We travel by silver Sonic. 1466 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,084 No one would suspect the master race of the galaxy 1467 01:06:05,086 --> 01:06:07,544 to drive a spacious yet affordable compact sedan. 1468 01:06:07,546 --> 01:06:09,964 A great cover with a great turning radius. 1469 01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,465 - Just get to the point. 1470 01:06:11,467 --> 01:06:14,093 - Ah, yes. I have been following you two for some time now. 1471 01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:15,219 - Creepy. 1472 01:06:15,221 --> 01:06:16,971 - You want to expose us. 1473 01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:18,263 - Hell yeah, we do! 1474 01:06:18,265 --> 01:06:21,433 - This can't be. How? Why is... 1475 01:06:21,435 --> 01:06:23,477 A galactic super race interested in Earth? 1476 01:06:23,479 --> 01:06:24,687 I will soon show you. 1477 01:06:24,689 --> 01:06:26,730 - Trust me, Luke, you don't want to know. 1478 01:06:26,732 --> 01:06:29,149 - No, no, no. He should know the whole truth. 1479 01:06:30,277 --> 01:06:32,861 We are here for the same reason why your people invade, 1480 01:06:32,863 --> 01:06:34,905 well, anywhere. 1481 01:06:34,907 --> 01:06:37,157 - Oil. - For fuck's sakes! 1482 01:06:37,159 --> 01:06:38,993 Yes, it is true. 1483 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:41,412 Every planet in the galaxy runs on oil. 1484 01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,747 - Told you, Luke. It's fucking bonkers. 1485 01:06:43,749 --> 01:06:45,332 - We are currently collecting the last 1486 01:06:45,334 --> 01:06:46,792 of your earthly reserves. 1487 01:06:46,794 --> 01:06:48,794 Once our extraction is complete, 1488 01:06:48,796 --> 01:06:51,588 we plan on exterminating all life on this planet. 1489 01:06:51,590 --> 01:06:52,631 - Why?! 1490 01:06:52,633 --> 01:06:54,383 Dead organic material 1491 01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:56,552 mixes with other sediment when buried. 1492 01:06:56,554 --> 01:06:58,053 Over millions of years, 1493 01:06:58,055 --> 01:06:59,888 under high pressure and high temperature, 1494 01:06:59,890 --> 01:07:02,683 the remains of these organisms transform into 1495 01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:05,602 what we know as fossil fuels. 1496 01:07:05,604 --> 01:07:07,354 By exterminating all life, 1497 01:07:07,356 --> 01:07:09,273 we are simply creating a new oil reserve 1498 01:07:09,275 --> 01:07:11,734 to be harvested in 16 million years, 1499 01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:14,403 which, to an Elder, is not long at all. 1500 01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:15,988 We did the same process 1501 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:18,407 with the organisms you call "dinosaurs". 1502 01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,451 - You killed the dinosaurs? 1503 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,037 Literally my one and only interest? 1504 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:25,122 - Told ya you weren't ready. - No. No. No, no, no. 1505 01:07:25,124 --> 01:07:27,708 This doesn't make any sense, because if you can fly 1506 01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:29,543 through space and live for millions of years, 1507 01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:31,837 then why don't you just synthesize your own fucking oil? 1508 01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:34,006 - Well, it is very political. 1509 01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:36,258 Too many jobs would be lost 1510 01:07:36,260 --> 01:07:38,135 by transitioning to greener hyper coils. 1511 01:07:38,137 --> 01:07:39,678 - Fucking unions. 1512 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:42,014 - However, we are not barbarian invaders. 1513 01:07:42,016 --> 01:07:44,850 Therefore, we have made a deal with your chieftains. 1514 01:07:44,852 --> 01:07:48,062 In exchange for the oil and destruction of all life, 1515 01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:51,398 we have allowed for passage to a brand-new planet development 1516 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,359 in the midwestern Milky Way. 1517 01:07:54,361 --> 01:07:56,280 - I think I'm going to throw up. 1518 01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,074 - Was it something I said? 1519 01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:02,367 - Uh, yeah! It's everything you said. 1520 01:08:02,369 --> 01:08:05,245 Listen, human. 1521 01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:08,082 We Elders are not without our empathy. 1522 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:12,586 I feel your plight, and your anguish. 1523 01:08:12,588 --> 01:08:14,213 - Cool. 1524 01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:15,964 - You'll be glad to know that I will asking 1525 01:08:15,966 --> 01:08:18,217 our board of directors for a 100 year delay 1526 01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:20,094 in humanity's destruction. 1527 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:22,429 - A hundred years? - Yes. 1528 01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:26,975 All you must do is continue to keep our existence a secret. 1529 01:08:26,977 --> 01:08:28,602 - Why? I wasn't sworn to anything. 1530 01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:30,312 I'm not part of the Coalition. 1531 01:08:30,314 --> 01:08:33,025 You are now. 1532 01:08:45,996 --> 01:08:48,247 - Fuck it. 1533 01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:50,707 - And I will transfer the $27.7 million 1534 01:08:50,709 --> 01:08:53,418 into your bank account immediately. 1535 01:08:53,420 --> 01:08:55,297 - Was that all? - You're forgetting one thing. 1536 01:08:56,465 --> 01:08:59,591 - Ah, yes. I will also free the squid people 1537 01:08:59,593 --> 01:09:01,301 underneath Santa Fe, New Mexico. 1538 01:09:01,303 --> 01:09:03,470 - Great. I've gotta hand it to you. 1539 01:09:03,472 --> 01:09:05,305 I was not expecting this 1540 01:09:05,307 --> 01:09:07,182 from a smug alien fuck like yourself, 1541 01:09:07,184 --> 01:09:09,309 but you've got yourself a deal. 1542 01:09:09,311 --> 01:09:11,937 - Fantastic. Now we seal the agreement 1543 01:09:11,939 --> 01:09:13,313 with a simple genital cupping. 1544 01:09:13,315 --> 01:09:17,192 - Of course we do. Fucking weirdos. 1545 01:09:17,194 --> 01:09:19,778 - A little higher. 1546 01:09:19,780 --> 01:09:21,282 - Oh, Jesus. 1547 01:09:23,534 --> 01:09:25,450 Come now. 1548 01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:33,041 - Ow. 1549 01:09:33,043 --> 01:09:36,086 Oh, Dearlock... 1550 01:09:36,088 --> 01:09:37,880 - There! Happy now? 1551 01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:39,381 We've got all the proof that you need, 1552 01:09:39,383 --> 01:09:41,466 and then we can just return the whatever-the-fuck 1553 01:09:41,468 --> 01:09:43,385 - to Jason, and-- - What the fuck are you doing, 1554 01:09:43,387 --> 01:09:45,888 you idiot?! We were just about to-- 1555 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:47,723 Actually, you know what? Fuck it, it's better this way. 1556 01:09:47,725 --> 01:09:51,143 - Come on. Let's go. - What about the alien?! 1557 01:09:51,145 --> 01:09:54,062 - Oh, yeah. Uh... 1558 01:09:54,064 --> 01:09:56,023 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1559 01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:58,025 - God damn it! 1560 01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,818 - The plan was never to reveal them to the world 1561 01:09:59,820 --> 01:10:01,153 or blow any whistles, okay? 1562 01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:03,530 - Then why are you doing all of this? 1563 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:07,409 What is the point? Why did I just assault a freakin' alien? 1564 01:10:07,411 --> 01:10:09,203 - I didn't tell you to do that! Look, whatever, 1565 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,580 the world's about to end and the shuttle's leaving today, 1566 01:10:11,582 --> 01:10:14,958 so forget this thing and its two-headed dick. Come on! 1567 01:10:25,638 --> 01:10:27,304 - Please answer the question! 1568 01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:29,389 Why-- Why are you trying to fuck me over so hard? 1569 01:10:29,391 --> 01:10:30,807 Why am I here? 1570 01:10:30,809 --> 01:10:32,517 - I told you! The shuttle is here. 1571 01:10:32,519 --> 01:10:35,145 - What shuttle? 1572 01:10:35,147 --> 01:10:36,563 - Fuck! 1573 01:10:36,565 --> 01:10:37,856 Oh! Bingo bongo. 1574 01:10:37,858 --> 01:10:39,816 Coalition ID confirmed. 1575 01:10:39,818 --> 01:10:40,943 Welcome! 1576 01:10:40,945 --> 01:10:43,695 - The entrance to the space port is around here somewhere. 1577 01:10:43,697 --> 01:10:46,448 I'm 99.7% sure this is where the Elders first made contact. 1578 01:10:46,450 --> 01:10:48,492 This is where they had their first Taco Gary's taco. 1579 01:10:48,494 --> 01:10:50,410 It has to be here. It could look like anything. 1580 01:10:50,412 --> 01:10:52,037 It could be tiny, it could be invisible, 1581 01:10:52,039 --> 01:10:53,916 it definitely won't look like a door. 1582 01:11:09,306 --> 01:11:11,267 Fuck! 1583 01:11:20,401 --> 01:11:21,441 - Is this it? 1584 01:11:26,073 --> 01:11:28,282 - Yes! Yes! 1585 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,659 Good eye. Yes! 1586 01:11:30,661 --> 01:11:32,204 Come on. 1587 01:11:38,252 --> 01:11:40,212 - Danny. Danny. Danny. 1588 01:11:43,507 --> 01:11:44,758 No! 1589 01:11:47,594 --> 01:11:49,594 ...Welcome to the Taco Gary's 1590 01:11:49,596 --> 01:11:52,389 Interstellar Space Port... 1591 01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:54,224 - Holy shit. 1592 01:11:54,226 --> 01:11:55,311 - Hmm? 1593 01:12:00,524 --> 01:12:02,607 Welcome to the Taco Gary's 1594 01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:07,112 Interstellar Space Port, located in beautiful Ottawa, 1595 01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:10,951 birthplace of the Bingo Bongo Burrito... 1596 01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:24,296 ...So, eat up, like there's no tomorrow! 1597 01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:26,006 - Luke. 1598 01:12:26,008 --> 01:12:28,800 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1599 01:12:28,802 --> 01:12:31,011 - Yeah, I know that-- - But you don't know why. 1600 01:12:31,013 --> 01:12:34,222 The reason I haven't been completely honest with you 1601 01:12:34,224 --> 01:12:35,515 until this exact moment 1602 01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:37,851 is because you'd never believe it all at once. 1603 01:12:37,853 --> 01:12:39,061 - Fair. 1604 01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:41,188 - When I found out that we only had a couple weeks left, 1605 01:12:41,190 --> 01:12:43,565 I knew I had to get you on the last shuttle out of here. 1606 01:12:43,567 --> 01:12:45,817 And I know I've done nothing but lie to you, 1607 01:12:45,819 --> 01:12:49,237 but if there was ever a time for you to trust me, 1608 01:12:49,239 --> 01:12:51,448 it's right now. 1609 01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:53,700 So, you're gonna take this ticket. 1610 01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:56,119 And you're gonna get on that shuttle. 1611 01:12:56,121 --> 01:12:57,371 You know why? 1612 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:59,831 'Cause your life depends on it. 1613 01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:01,291 Take it. 1614 01:13:01,293 --> 01:13:04,086 - But it's my ticket! - It was meant for me. 1615 01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:06,713 You are not seeming to grasp the complaint here. 1616 01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:08,256 Present it, and you may board. 1617 01:13:08,258 --> 01:13:10,550 - It was stolen! - Oh, that's too bad. 1618 01:13:10,552 --> 01:13:13,011 Possession may be nine tenths of the law for humans. 1619 01:13:13,013 --> 01:13:14,805 It is 100% for Elders. 1620 01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,431 We do not have laws against stealing. 1621 01:13:16,433 --> 01:13:17,557 - What? Why not? 1622 01:13:17,559 --> 01:13:19,559 - Because we do not steal. Duh. 1623 01:13:19,561 --> 01:13:22,562 Every Elders has what he, slash she, slash Gliborb needs. 1624 01:13:22,564 --> 01:13:23,647 - Minus affordable gasoline. 1625 01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:24,940 - What was that? - What was that? 1626 01:13:24,942 --> 01:13:26,274 - Hmm? - What? 1627 01:13:26,276 --> 01:13:28,443 - Two dicks says what? - I missed that. What? 1628 01:13:28,445 --> 01:13:30,821 - Look, this isn't fair. Okay? I faked my own death already! 1629 01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:33,532 - I'm sorry, but no ticket, no boarding. 1630 01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:34,576 - Jason, look! 1631 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:39,454 - Go! Go, go, go! 1632 01:13:39,456 --> 01:13:40,455 - Next. 1633 01:13:40,457 --> 01:13:42,457 Attention, all passengers. 1634 01:13:42,459 --> 01:13:44,376 The shuttle will be boarding in seven minutes. 1635 01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:46,128 - But what about you? - Don't worry about me, 1636 01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,004 you've done enough of that in your life. Okay? 1637 01:13:48,006 --> 01:13:49,339 This is me returning the favor. 1638 01:13:49,341 --> 01:13:52,259 - No, no, because if all that were true, then-- 1639 01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:54,428 then why me, man? 1640 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:58,348 And why not like, a doctor or even a competent swimmer? 1641 01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:00,183 - Because you offer something that most of 1642 01:14:00,185 --> 01:14:02,811 these self-entitled "important" people here don't. 1643 01:14:02,813 --> 01:14:06,314 You are a good person. 1644 01:14:06,316 --> 01:14:08,692 You care about your neighbors, your family. 1645 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:10,777 You make people feel good about themselves. 1646 01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:13,864 Yeah, sure, the new world will need innovators 1647 01:14:13,866 --> 01:14:17,200 and goal-driven risk takers to keep humanity moving forward, 1648 01:14:17,202 --> 01:14:19,995 but kind, delicate good neighbors like yourself 1649 01:14:19,997 --> 01:14:21,997 are the foundation. 1650 01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:23,874 So, knowing that there will be good people like you 1651 01:14:23,876 --> 01:14:27,002 on Earth 2.0 gives me hope. 1652 01:14:27,004 --> 01:14:28,881 And that's more than enough for me. 1653 01:14:30,757 --> 01:14:32,799 - This is absolutely insane. 1654 01:14:32,801 --> 01:14:34,676 - I know it is! 1655 01:14:34,678 --> 01:14:37,262 It's fucking insane, but I need you to embrace the chaos. 1656 01:14:37,264 --> 01:14:40,682 I need you to accept the Todd Simmons of it all. 1657 01:14:40,684 --> 01:14:43,604 Look, I am asking you, do you trust me? 1658 01:14:50,694 --> 01:14:53,570 - I can't believe I'm about to say this, but... 1659 01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:55,614 yeah. 1660 01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:57,240 - Thanks, dude. 1661 01:14:57,242 --> 01:14:58,617 Cough, cough. 1662 01:14:58,619 --> 01:15:00,660 I can't believe my good luck. Makes me wonder 1663 01:15:00,662 --> 01:15:02,329 why I didn't just wait for you guys here. 1664 01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:03,872 But alas, can't change the past. 1665 01:15:03,874 --> 01:15:05,582 Anyway, this is the part of the story-- 1666 01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:07,626 - Hey, hey, Jason, please. Hello. 1667 01:15:07,628 --> 01:15:09,085 - What? - You're doing it again, man. 1668 01:15:09,087 --> 01:15:10,879 - Doing what again? - The fucking monologue. 1669 01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:12,380 - We talked about this. - Sorry. 1670 01:15:12,382 --> 01:15:14,132 - Can I please just shoot them? - You're right. Okay. 1671 01:15:14,134 --> 01:15:15,425 - Much simpler. - No more monologues. 1672 01:15:15,427 --> 01:15:17,010 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 1673 01:15:17,012 --> 01:15:19,387 See ya! 1674 01:15:19,389 --> 01:15:21,056 - Tiago? - Yep? 1675 01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:22,599 That was on me. So sorry. 1676 01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:23,852 What the fuck, man? 1677 01:15:30,192 --> 01:15:31,816 - This way. 1678 01:15:43,747 --> 01:15:46,416 - What do we do now? - Shh. 1679 01:15:50,837 --> 01:15:52,047 Whoopsie! 1680 01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:54,839 Looks like it's over, huh? 1681 01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:58,262 You see, we are covering the only exit. 1682 01:15:59,721 --> 01:16:01,638 I'll tell you what. You come on out, 1683 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,390 and there will be no more bloodshed. 1684 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:05,517 Promessa Portuguesa. 1685 01:16:05,519 --> 01:16:08,313 Now that is a Portuguese promise. 1686 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,275 - I knew it would end one day in an office. 1687 01:16:13,277 --> 01:16:14,276 - What? - Nothing. 1688 01:16:14,278 --> 01:16:16,027 I have a plan. 1689 01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:17,279 When I give you the signal, 1690 01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:19,406 you run back to the space door. Got it? 1691 01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:20,657 - What about it you? 1692 01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:23,161 - Didn't I tell you to stop worrying about me? 1693 01:16:26,665 --> 01:16:28,458 - What the fuck? 1694 01:16:33,130 --> 01:16:34,754 Bingo bongo! 1695 01:16:34,756 --> 01:16:37,632 Get yer tickets to outer space here! 1696 01:16:37,634 --> 01:16:38,635 - There! 1697 01:16:39,636 --> 01:16:42,262 - Hey, assholes! I have your prize! 1698 01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:43,597 Come and get it! 1699 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:46,057 - Jesus, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot? 1700 01:16:46,059 --> 01:16:49,187 - Come and get it, you mango-eating motherfuckers. 1701 01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:52,522 Hey, Luke! This is the signal! 1702 01:16:52,524 --> 01:16:55,108 Go, go, go! Luke, go, run! 1703 01:16:55,110 --> 01:16:57,569 - Thank you. Well, well, well. 1704 01:16:57,571 --> 01:16:59,112 Seems to me-- 1705 01:16:59,114 --> 01:17:01,156 - Please, not another fucking monologue. Please. 1706 01:17:01,158 --> 01:17:02,574 - You're right. - Let me just do it. 1707 01:17:02,576 --> 01:17:04,326 - Go ahead, go ahead. - Thank you so much. 1708 01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:05,619 - Run, Luke! 1709 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:14,669 ♪ So many years, got a face that's old ♪ 1710 01:17:14,671 --> 01:17:16,504 ♪ Saw the world unfold ♪ 1711 01:17:16,506 --> 01:17:17,881 Run, Luke! 1712 01:17:17,883 --> 01:17:22,469 ♪ And the truth be told in a steadfast love ♪ 1713 01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:25,140 ♪ In a steadfast love ♪ 1714 01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,151 ♪ It's a steadfast love ♪ 1715 01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:39,903 Oh my God, that felt so satisfying. 1716 01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:41,112 - It looked great. - Thank you. 1717 01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:42,489 - You looked so good. - Thank you. 1718 01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:44,282 Yeah, it looked really good. 1719 01:17:44,284 --> 01:17:46,493 Why is-- What's going on? Is this empty? 1720 01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:48,244 - Son of a bitch! - It's empty! 1721 01:17:48,246 --> 01:17:51,164 - Look, that motherfucker is right there! 1722 01:17:51,166 --> 01:17:52,292 Come on! 1723 01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:06,596 ♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪ 1724 01:18:06,598 --> 01:18:09,307 ♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah ♪ 1725 01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:11,728 ♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪ 1726 01:18:16,483 --> 01:18:17,484 - Ah... 1727 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,321 The boarding pass, please. 1728 01:18:22,823 --> 01:18:24,155 I know what you're thinking. 1729 01:18:24,157 --> 01:18:25,990 "Why don't you just go ahead and shoot me already? 1730 01:18:25,992 --> 01:18:28,535 "Doesn't even matter as the world will end in two weeks." 1731 01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:29,953 But this isn't easy for us. 1732 01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:31,287 - Jesus Christ, man, can you literally 1733 01:18:31,289 --> 01:18:33,665 not help yourself with the monologue shit? 1734 01:18:33,667 --> 01:18:35,166 Sorry, did... What do you mean, 1735 01:18:35,168 --> 01:18:36,835 the world is gonna end in two weeks? 1736 01:18:36,837 --> 01:18:38,420 - Oh, come on. 1737 01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:40,296 I told you, this is the last shuttle. 1738 01:18:40,298 --> 01:18:41,756 I thought you figured it out already. 1739 01:18:41,758 --> 01:18:42,924 - No, I didn't figure it out! 1740 01:18:42,926 --> 01:18:44,843 Wait, are the Elders destroying the Earth? 1741 01:18:44,845 --> 01:18:47,053 - No, no, no. Not at all. - Oh, thank goodness. 1742 01:18:47,055 --> 01:18:48,680 - Just all life on Earth. - What? 1743 01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:50,390 Why didn't you just tell me the truth, man? 1744 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:52,183 - No one wants to believe the truth anymore. 1745 01:18:52,185 --> 01:18:53,727 - You said I would inherit your fortune! 1746 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,228 - You still do. - And I have like 1747 01:18:55,230 --> 01:18:57,355 - two weeks to spend it? - Twelve days, technically. 1748 01:18:57,357 --> 01:18:59,524 - Oh, you liar. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1749 01:18:59,526 --> 01:19:02,902 Tiago, what are you doing, buddy? 1750 01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:05,363 Come on, it's me. Jason. 1751 01:19:05,365 --> 01:19:07,323 So I wasn't completely honest with you, 1752 01:19:07,325 --> 01:19:09,325 but it was for your own good, buddy. 1753 01:19:09,327 --> 01:19:11,786 I wanted your last precious moments 1754 01:19:11,788 --> 01:19:13,830 to be lived in blissful ignorance. 1755 01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:15,957 Again, I am the good guy, here. 1756 01:19:15,959 --> 01:19:18,293 - Actually, no, Jason. You are not the good guy. 1757 01:19:18,295 --> 01:19:20,128 You are the bad guy. 1758 01:19:20,130 --> 01:19:22,046 You have always been the bad guy. 1759 01:19:22,048 --> 01:19:24,382 You take that back. 1760 01:19:24,384 --> 01:19:27,969 I am the hero! 1761 01:19:27,971 --> 01:19:29,596 Leonardo, come on, help me out here? 1762 01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:31,514 Thank you. 1763 01:19:31,516 --> 01:19:33,433 - This is why you should never trust the Portuguese. 1764 01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:34,726 - What'd you say? - What was that? 1765 01:19:34,728 --> 01:19:35,935 - You said something about the Portuguese? 1766 01:19:35,937 --> 01:19:37,896 - No, nothing. - No, fuck you, man! 1767 01:19:37,898 --> 01:19:40,356 You know, I changed for you! And fuck this eye patch. 1768 01:19:40,358 --> 01:19:42,108 You know he told me to wear it because it would make 1769 01:19:42,110 --> 01:19:43,818 me more intimidating? Well, guess what? 1770 01:19:43,820 --> 01:19:45,528 It doesn't, this gun does! 1771 01:19:45,530 --> 01:19:46,821 New plan. 1772 01:19:46,823 --> 01:19:48,364 I'm taking the fucking ticket. 1773 01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,993 What the hell? 1774 01:19:51,995 --> 01:19:54,162 What is that, like, supposed to be? 1775 01:19:54,164 --> 01:19:57,540 Is it supposed to be, um, give me a sec. 1776 01:19:57,542 --> 01:19:59,751 Can't take my eyes off it. Look at it. 1777 01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,336 - Give me a second. Gimme a sec. Ah! 1778 01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:03,379 But what's the significance of the boobs, though? 1779 01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:04,839 It's like, super hypnotic, 1780 01:20:04,841 --> 01:20:06,090 but it makes no sense, though. 1781 01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:07,592 - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1782 01:20:07,594 --> 01:20:11,221 It's not supposed to make any sense. 1783 01:20:11,223 --> 01:20:14,142 - Because... - It's a ruse! 1784 01:20:16,937 --> 01:20:18,605 Fuck muffin! 1785 01:20:21,191 --> 01:20:22,273 - They shot Danny! 1786 01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:23,608 - I know! Just keep running! 1787 01:20:23,610 --> 01:20:25,819 This is the final 1788 01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,904 boarding call for the last shuttle to New Earth. 1789 01:20:27,906 --> 01:20:29,864 Doors will be closing momentarily. 1790 01:20:29,866 --> 01:20:31,407 If you do not wish to be incinerated 1791 01:20:31,409 --> 01:20:32,784 and repurposed as fossil fuel, 1792 01:20:32,786 --> 01:20:34,621 please proceed to the gate immediately. 1793 01:20:40,877 --> 01:20:43,878 - Okay. I got it! I got it! 1794 01:20:43,880 --> 01:20:46,422 I got it! 1795 01:20:54,182 --> 01:20:56,015 - Excuse me, sirs. 1796 01:20:56,017 --> 01:20:58,309 But murder is not allowed in a Taco Gary's. 1797 01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:02,564 And this port is technically on Taco Gary's property. 1798 01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:04,440 So you know the penalty. 1799 01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:06,109 - You see why I kept you in the dark. 1800 01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:08,027 - I see it now. I'm sorry. 1801 01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:10,446 - Oh! - Oh, wow. 1802 01:21:10,448 --> 01:21:12,991 - This is all your fault. - I know, I'm sorry! 1803 01:21:15,078 --> 01:21:16,953 - What's that smell? - I don't know, dude. 1804 01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,496 - Mangos? - Fuck, yes. 1805 01:21:18,498 --> 01:21:20,250 Mangos! 1806 01:21:22,627 --> 01:21:25,503 Oh dear. 1807 01:21:25,505 --> 01:21:27,299 - Welcome aboard. 1808 01:21:31,052 --> 01:21:32,969 - Oh dear. 1809 01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:50,737 ♪ Well, I came along to find a little peace of mind ♪ 1810 01:21:50,739 --> 01:21:52,405 ♪ Neglected all my duties ♪ 1811 01:21:52,407 --> 01:21:54,490 ♪ Stepping off that straightened line ♪ 1812 01:21:54,492 --> 01:21:56,492 ♪ Now I just sit by my front door ♪ 1813 01:21:56,494 --> 01:21:58,828 ♪ Filled with indolence and sound ♪ 1814 01:22:00,290 --> 01:22:03,166 ♪ It's like I'm watching the weeds grow on the ground ♪ 1815 01:22:03,168 --> 01:22:04,292 Look, Luke. 1816 01:22:04,294 --> 01:22:05,793 This is going to be hard to hear, 1817 01:22:05,795 --> 01:22:09,672 but it's what Danny expected to happen all along. 1818 01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,674 He never planned on leaving, 1819 01:22:11,676 --> 01:22:14,010 but he didn't want you to be alone. 1820 01:22:14,012 --> 01:22:15,386 - I still don't get it. 1821 01:22:15,388 --> 01:22:18,014 - Embrace it. Look, this is the norm, Luke. 1822 01:22:18,016 --> 01:22:19,724 The world is always ending. 1823 01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:21,643 Things never make total sense, 1824 01:22:21,645 --> 01:22:24,812 and sometimes our only option is to just go with the flow. 1825 01:22:24,814 --> 01:22:26,816 It's the one thing we can control. 1826 01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:30,654 Do you know who said that? 1827 01:22:32,614 --> 01:22:35,533 Do you know who said that? 1828 01:22:42,374 --> 01:22:44,042 Todd Simmons. 1829 01:22:50,340 --> 01:22:52,757 - And now you get it. 1830 01:22:52,759 --> 01:22:54,384 ♪ You pass something down ♪ 1831 01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:56,052 ♪ No matter where or how ♪ 1832 01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:58,054 ♪ Well, there'll be weeds or wildflowers ♪ 1833 01:22:58,056 --> 01:22:59,764 ♪ Affixed upon your bows ♪ 1834 01:22:59,766 --> 01:23:01,891 ♪ And there's a crooked burning cigarette ♪ 1835 01:23:01,893 --> 01:23:03,226 ♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪ 1836 01:23:03,228 --> 01:23:05,228 ♪ Well, there'll be weeds or wildflowers ♪ 1837 01:23:05,230 --> 01:23:07,563 ♪ When you're done ♪ 1838 01:23:07,565 --> 01:23:11,234 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1839 01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:15,071 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1840 01:23:15,073 --> 01:23:18,866 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1841 01:23:18,868 --> 01:23:22,537 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1842 01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:26,124 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1843 01:23:26,126 --> 01:23:30,336 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1844 01:23:30,338 --> 01:23:34,048 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1845 01:23:34,050 --> 01:23:37,804 ♪ Da ♪ 1846 01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:41,347 ♪ Blown about by the wind ♪ 1847 01:23:41,349 --> 01:23:42,932 ♪ And the worthless little thing ♪ 1848 01:23:42,934 --> 01:23:44,642 ♪ But the world can feel the changes ♪ 1849 01:23:44,644 --> 01:23:46,394 ♪ Of a butterfly's wings ♪ 1850 01:23:46,396 --> 01:23:48,146 ♪ And so that crooked burning cigarette ♪ 1851 01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:49,814 ♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪ 1852 01:23:49,816 --> 01:23:53,192 ♪ Will leave its weeds before your flowers yet have sprung ♪ 1853 01:23:53,194 --> 01:23:56,612 ♪ Will there be weeds or wildflowers when you're done? ♪ 136328

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