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1
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,880
La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
2
00:00:07,420 --> 00:00:10,590
Goin’ down to South Park
Gonna have myself a time
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,880
Death and sadness everywhere
Loneliness and degradation
4
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:17,640
Goin’ down to South Park
Gonna take my woes with me
5
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,770
Nightmares every night
Posers spouting “let’s go shopping”
6
00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:23,810
Heading out to South Park
’Cause I cannot unwind
7
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,980
I like spiders, loss and rain
I’m only happy when I’m in pain
8
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:29,690
So I’m going down to South Park…
9
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,320
to die!
10
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,410
“So I cast my body
into the trails of blood.
11
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:42,000
“The knife pierces deep,
deep into my lonely eyes,
12
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,290
“so I can see this black world
no more.”
13
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,250
– That’s pretty hardcore.
– That’s real pain right there.
14
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:52,300
That’s how I feel
when my mother abuses me.
15
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:55,260
I just want to escape
so she can’t hurt me anymore.
16
00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,550
Henrietta, sweetie!
17
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,350
Shut up, Mom!
Go away!
18
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,100
Remember Daddy wanted to talk to you
in the living room,
19
00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:04,560
my dark little princess.
20
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,770
Stop calling me a princess.
I’m not a beauty queen from Disney.
21
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,860
We’ll be waiting in the living room.
22
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,730
God, she just never stops!
23
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,820
Goodness, I am so nervous.
24
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,240
Have a seat, Henrietta.
25
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:21,370
– A little family chitchat.
– Shut up, Mom.
26
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,620
Henrietta, as you know,
your mother and I
27
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,370
have been concerned
about your behavior for some time.
28
00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:28,630
Are we really doing this again?
29
00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:31,340
We’ve had a hard time coping
with the dark things you’re into,
30
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:33,090
but we’ve finally had
some counseling.
31
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:37,720
Apparently, we’re not the only parents
who have a child that is “emo.”
32
00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:42,220
But Daddy and I love our little muffin,
even if she’s emo or not.
33
00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:45,850
I’m not a fucking emo.
Don’t you even know the fucking diff?
34
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,850
Do you know how your foul language
breaks your mother’s heart?
35
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:51,110
Like calling Mommy “demon jizz.”
36
00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:54,110
So, listen, sweetie.
We’ve found a camp.
37
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,900
For troubled kids like you,
38
00:01:57,030 --> 00:02:00,570
and you get to work outside
and learn about responsibility.
39
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,830
I’m not going to any fucking camp.
40
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,740
For two weeks,
and when you come back,
41
00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:07,160
we can talk about earning back
your privileges.
42
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:10,330
I won’t come back,
because I’ll be fucking dead!
43
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,540
I’ll walk out of there,
and I’ll walk the streets
44
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:15,510
until I probably get picked up
and gangbanged by criminals
45
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:17,760
until I’m bleeding out
my fucking eyes!
46
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:20,800
They have a horseshoe pit
47
00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:24,010
where you can challenge
the other kids to horseshoes!
48
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,600
And that’s all you know?
What else did she say?
49
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:29,560
She said her parents
called her an emo,
50
00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,730
and she had to go to this camp
for two weeks.
51
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,480
Oh, my God!
For two weeks?
52
00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,530
– Is she at the camp now?
– I don’t know.
53
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,490
She texted from the bus,
54
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:40,360
then she said she wasn’t allowed
to have her cellphone.
55
00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:42,070
All of a sudden, her texts went dark.
56
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,330
That’s fucking creepy, man.
57
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,290
I just can’t believe it.
58
00:02:47,410 --> 00:02:50,420
I can’t believe parents
would do that to their child.
59
00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:55,710
All right,
you say that you witnessed your friend
60
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,510
being abused by her parents.
61
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,720
They called her an emo.
62
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,800
– What’s wrong with that?
– Emos suck!
63
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:06,220
They’re vile, self-pitying,
depressed assholes!
64
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,020
Why did they call her that?
65
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,890
Because she’s goth, and some people
don’t know the difference!
66
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,190
What difference?
67
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:14,810
Oh, my God!
They’re totally different!
68
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:16,190
Different how?
69
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,690
They’re… you know,
70
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:20,530
one is good,
and emos are horrible.
71
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,990
You know, they’re posers!
72
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,990
Emos suck my goth balls.
73
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,580
Think of it this way.
74
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,910
A goth believes that, deep down,
the world is totally fucked up.
75
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,420
But an emo thinks that, deep down,
they are totally fucked up.
76
00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:35,130
No much of a difference.
77
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:37,460
– That’s a huge fucking difference!
– OK, look.
78
00:03:37,590 --> 00:03:40,510
– Emos are more prone to suicide.
– This fucking bitch, man.
79
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,470
But goths are more prone
to be depressed
80
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,550
that so many people commit suicide.
81
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,760
Goth’s darkness is nihilistic,
whereas emo’s is cynical.
82
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,970
Wait, I thought we were cynical.
83
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:52,980
– Whatever, it doesn’t matter.
– See, you’re nihilistic.
84
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,100
You’re right.
85
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,240
Somebody let me out of here!
86
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,410
You can’t treat people like this.
87
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,580
This is fucking ridiculous!
What’s wrong with you?
88
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:16,750
I’m gonna go to the fucking cops
when I get out of here!
89
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:36,440
What if she comes back
and she’s all preppy and conformist?
90
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,770
She’s only been there two weeks.
They can’t have changed her that much.
91
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,400
Can they have?
92
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,200
Oh, my God.
93
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,580
Hey, guys.
94
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,920
What the hell have they done to you?
95
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,800
What do you mean?
They couldn’t do anything.
96
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,380
They can’t fix me.
They don’t even understand me.
97
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,550
Oh, my God!
It’s worse than we thought.
98
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,430
They made her emo!
99
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,700
– Has she said one word to you guys?
– Nothing.
100
00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:27,570
She’s a totally different person.
101
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,200
She won’t even look at us.
102
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,830
All she does now is hang out
with the douchebag emo kids.
103
00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:37,210
God, PE class
is for such wannabe posers.
104
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,790
I’d rather kill myself
than put on gym shorts.
105
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,460
I wish there’d be an earthquake,
so we could all die.
106
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,760
How can she hang out with them?
107
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,470
There must be something else
going on here.
108
00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:55,180
Not now, Mom!
I’m suicidal.
109
00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:57,890
It’s not your mom.
It’s me.
110
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,190
What did they do to you at that camp?
111
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:06,740
What do you mean?
Just the usual group therapy crap.
112
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:09,530
Don’t take this the wrong way,
113
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,280
but I think
that place turned you into an emo.
114
00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:15,330
That’s ridiculous.
I’m not anything.
115
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:18,160
I don’t fit in anywhere.
I’m not emo.
116
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:21,000
Then why are you listening
to Sunny Day Real Estate?
117
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,920
I was thinking, maybe they just
made you confused at that place,
118
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:30,130
they didn’t know what they were doing,
but then I started thinking…
119
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,890
Maybe that place turned you emo
on purpose.
120
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,810
Maybe they knew
what they were doing.
121
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:44,820
You should probably stop
digging for answers.
122
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,700
There’s no winning this for you.
123
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,570
Soon, the entire world will be emo.
124
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,030
It is our time.
125
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:56,660
No way.
126
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,620
Nobody understands us.
127
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,920
And they won’t understand
until it is far too late.
128
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:05,040
Oh, my God!
No way!
129
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:07,340
Do not fight it, Michael.
130
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,630
Is being emo really all that different
from being goth?
131
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,140
Join us.
132
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,180
No way!
133
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,560
Death and despair!
134
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,070
It’s worse than we thought.
135
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,240
What is, everything?
136
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:35,030
No, I mean Henrietta.
I confronted her, and she was like,
137
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,740
“I am emo, and emos
are going to rule the world.”
138
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:41,210
And I was like, “No way!”
She was like,”Soon it will be too late.”
139
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,540
– And I was all, “No way!”
– No way.
140
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:46,040
Call up Firkle,
and meet me at Village Inn.
141
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,210
I gotta run home,
but I’ll be there in 10 min.
142
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,550
Michael!
143
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,300
Can’t now, Mom.
I’ve got an emergency.
144
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,510
In the dining room.
Let’s go.
145
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,430
Have a seat, son.
146
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,060
Your mom and I have decided
you’ll go away for a little while.
147
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:08,150
We’ve been put in touch with this camp
for troubled kids like you…
148
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,440
What the hell?
149
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,650
This place gonna make you
normal child!
150
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:15,450
You gotta listen to me!
You don’t know what you’re doing!
151
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,700
You fucking conformists!
152
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,500
They’re evil!
153
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,420
I never thought
it would end like this.
154
00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:35,090
I never thought goths would just be
slowly replaced by emos.
155
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,390
Pete, if they get me,
156
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:42,140
if I get sent to that camp,
and I come back emo,
157
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:44,190
kill me.
158
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,190
Promise you’ll kill me.
159
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,190
I promise.
160
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:51,320
You kids need to order something
or you need to go.
161
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,530
Not now, we’re really depressed.
162
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:56,110
– So what else is new?
– This is different!
163
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,570
Our two friends are being
bodysnatched by emos!
164
00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:01,370
Only one other group
understands emos like we do.
165
00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:03,330
We’ll have to team up
with the vampires.
166
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,040
– Are you crazy?
– What choice do we have?
167
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,330
The vampires are our sworn enemies.
168
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,300
We beat up their leader
and burned down their lair.
169
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,880
Don’t you remember?
170
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,340
I remember.
171
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,430
It may be a suicide mission,
172
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:19,100
but we have to walk
right into the middle of the vampires
173
00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:20,680
and ask them for help.
174
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,810
Let’s all be seated, please.
175
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,820
This is the noon meeting
of the vamp kids.
176
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:34,280
I am Mike, your lord
and dark master, per se.
177
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,700
Hail, Mike.
178
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,570
Our main order of business is,
of course, the Halloween social.
179
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,910
We’re still looking for volunteers
to make the…
180
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,540
It’s the goth kids!
181
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,590
You spit on me, Larry.
182
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,260
Hey, everybody.
183
00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:00,600
I know we aren’t
on the greatest terms.
184
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:05,020
We realize we called you all queermos.
Sorry we burned down the Hot Topic.
185
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:05,980
Sorry.
186
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:10,350
But we’ve got a bigger problem here,
and it’s all of our problem.
187
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:14,400
– You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here.
– Shut up and listen.
188
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:17,360
There’s a camp that kids like us
are being sent to,
189
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:20,030
and somehow this place
is taking kids like us
190
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,990
and turning them emo.
191
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:25,700
You might fail to tell at first.
192
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:28,290
It could’ve already happened
to one of you.
193
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,710
Hold up!
194
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,170
You mean that one of us
might not really be a vamp kid?
195
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:39,630
Right.
196
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,930
Whoever you is,
197
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:44,680
get your ass ready to run, motherfucker,
’cause you a damn traitor.
198
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,890
And I’ll bet you
it’s this little nigga right here!
199
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,610
Are you gonna go
to the Fall Out Boy concert?
200
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,440
I can’t, I’m too depressed.
I keep cutting myself.
201
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,530
I’m cutting myself to hurt
this worthless body that I’m in.
202
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:06,120
I baked cookies
for your new little emo friends.
203
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,200
Not now!
204
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:10,620
Can’t you see I’m hurting?
I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment!
205
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,830
Sorry I’m not the pretty cheerleader
you always wanted!
206
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,380
– Does she still seem better?
– Much better.
207
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:23,390
She didn’t call me a bitch,
and she actually apologized to me.
208
00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,680
That’s more like it.
209
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,520
You know what we should do
after us emos take over the Earth?
210
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:31,100
We should paint
the White House black,
211
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:33,560
and we should have Fall Out Boy
play at the Super Bowl.
212
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,150
We’re emos.
213
00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,570
When we rule the Earth,
we’re not gonna have football.
214
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,490
You say she just showed up like this?
215
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,200
You know Henrietta.
That thing in there is not Henrietta.
216
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,540
That blonde emo in there
is Sarah Collins.
217
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:49,620
She was a vamp kid two weeks ago!
218
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,910
You want me to waste
these motherfuckers?
219
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,080
I’ll do it.
220
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:56,790
We can’t just kick their asses.
We have to stop this at the source.
221
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:57,880
Indeed.
222
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,420
If there is some kind
of black magic at work
223
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:02,680
creating these monsters,
we will have to use
224
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,340
our most powerful
vampiric abilities to stop it.
225
00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:07,760
– Do you mean…
– Yes, my child of darkness.
226
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,350
We must call upon the powers
227
00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:12,060
of the vamp kids’
most sacred entity, per se.
228
00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:15,060
Only he can help us
in this darkest time.
229
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:18,150
This calls for a summoning.
230
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,200
We call upon the creator
of all that is dark,
231
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,620
the godfather of death and despair.
232
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,200
Edgar Allan Poe,
233
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:33,910
your followers in darkness
beg for your help.
234
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,170
We summon to the world of the living
the great Edgar Allan Poe,
235
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,050
knower of all that is misery.
236
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,840
Your children
need special guidance, per se.
237
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,510
This is your plan?
238
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,890
Try to summon Edgar Allan Poe
back from the dead?
239
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:51,180
Edgar Allan Poe
was the original vamp kid.
240
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,770
He was the original goth,
but he’s been dead for 150 years.
241
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,850
Look, man,
242
00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:59,400
all genres of gothic subcultures
are derivative of Poe’s work,
243
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:00,780
motherfucker.
244
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:04,700
We came to you for help,
and all you’ve done is waste our time!
245
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,240
Holy shit, look!
246
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,120
Where am I?
What is this place?
247
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:16,040
It’s him!
It’s Edgar Allan Poe.
248
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,540
Why have the living
summoned me from my rest?
249
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,380
Listen, there’s this camp
for troubled kids, right?
250
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:26,970
Only they aren’t helping kids.
They’re turning them into emos.
251
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:28,260
Emos?
252
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:32,390
My God!
Emos are such wannabe conformists!
253
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,310
Right?
254
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,650
Children of darkness, I would help you,
but I fear I cannot be seen
255
00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:42,820
with a bunch of douchey vamp kids
and their poser-ass plastic fangs.
256
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,660
I’m just saying it’s nice
that Edgar Allan Poe agrees with us.
257
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,160
Agrees with who?
258
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,870
Is that red dye in your hair,
259
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,700
or did a blood demon take a shit
on your head, poser?
260
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,540
He got you there, nigga.
261
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:58,620
We’re running out of time.
You have to help us stop the emos.
262
00:13:58,870 --> 00:13:59,960
Why should I?
263
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,800
Just ’cause you summoned me
doesn’t mean you’re the boss of me.
264
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,380
Yeah, it kind of does.
265
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,050
OK, Mom.
266
00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:08,430
Let’s go fight the emos, Mom.
267
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,140
What…
Where are you ta…
268
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,650
What the hell?
269
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,440
Oh, my God.
270
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,780
Get me out of here!
Let me go!
271
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,610
It’s best you don’t upset them.
272
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,580
What are you doing to people?
273
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,950
Not me.
I just work for them.
274
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:39,160
They’re not evil, you know.
They’re just misunderstood.
275
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:42,380
All I do is help the emos
get into their human host.
276
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,040
They promised when they take over,
277
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:46,630
I can have a cabin on the lake
and all the steak I can eat.
278
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:49,630
Wait a minute.
Emos are plants?
279
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,470
It’s OK.
280
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,850
Not just any plant.
They’re very unique.
281
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,060
Very special!
282
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:57,810
Nobody understands them.
283
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,270
Emo-claris americanus.
Wonderful species.
284
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,270
Except for their tendencies
of self-mutilation
285
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,690
and the need for other species
to acknowledge their pain.
286
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,110
It all makes sense now.
287
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,570
I’m sorry!
Sorry, Emo King!
288
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,330
I wasn’t talking to him.
I mean, I was, but…
289
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,660
I understand.
Right away.
290
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:23,710
What are you doing?
I don’t want to be emo!
291
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,630
You just don’t understand.
You’ll understand them soon.
292
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,800
What the…
293
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,930
It’s quicker if you don’t fight it.
294
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:44,020
Once we find our friend,
we gotta torch the place and get out.
295
00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:48,070
Edgar, can you not smoke in the car?
296
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:51,490
You can’t tell me what to do.
Who elected you the mayor of me?
297
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,570
Put it out, Edgar.
It’s annoying everybody.
298
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,320
God, you guys are so lame!
299
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:58,370
And if you want my help,
You better all stop calling me Edgar.
300
00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,660
That’s your name.
301
00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:01,830
That’s the name
my stupid parents gave me.
302
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,080
I like to be called
by my goth name, Nightpain.
303
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,710
Oh, God!
304
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,050
You guys are posers!
305
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,670
Just so you all know,
306
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,720
if one of you ain’t
who they say they is,
307
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,510
and inside that base,
you reveal
308
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,050
you actually one of them
emo motherfuckers in disguise,
309
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,140
I will go crazy on your ass.
310
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,100
If one of us is a traitor,
It’s probably your vampire leader.
311
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,310
– Fuck off, Nightpain.
– Make me, poser.
312
00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,710
Michael?
You here?
313
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,090
I feel like we’re being watched.
314
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,100
Michael, are you OK?
315
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,980
Kick it over.
Stop the plant!
316
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:09,480
Thank God you’re here!
317
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:12,030
Emos are plants,
and they’re invading human bodies.
318
00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:15,240
We’re gonna get you out of here
and burn this whole place down.
319
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,830
I’m sorry,
but I’m afraid that’s not the plan.
320
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,580
You did very good.
321
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,540
The emo plants are pleased
with your dedication.
322
00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:27,920
Firkle, all this time,
we thought you were goth.
323
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,420
How long have you been emo?
324
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,800
Don’t you see we can’t stop them?
325
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,640
We might as well join ’em.
326
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,430
Yes, Emo King, right away.
327
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:45,480
The Emo King wants us
to proceed at once.
328
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,770
Let us go, you ultimate conformists!
329
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,320
Don’t fight it.
It’s quicker that way.
330
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,030
Oh, God!
I’m starting to feel emo!
331
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,650
Wait a minute.
Where the hell is Edgar Allan Poe?
332
00:17:56,990 --> 00:17:58,410
He said he was over this,
333
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,660
and was gonna hang out
at the Village Inn.
334
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:09,170
Are you gonna order any food
or just sit there and drink coffee?
335
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:11,750
Leave me alone.
I just want coffee.
336
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,460
Little prick.
337
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:14,710
Bitch.
338
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,090
Edgar Allan Poe, where are you?
339
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:21,140
What are you doing?
You’re supposed to help us.
340
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,720
I can’t right now.
341
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:25,350
I’m dealing with a lot.
I just have a lot of anxiety.
342
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,640
Look, we summoned you
to help us save the world.
343
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,020
What’s the point?
344
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,400
Save some people,
so some other people can be lame?
345
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,400
And then those lame-os
can be lame to some other posers?
346
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,740
God, he is such a downer!
347
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,950
Just let the spores inside you.
348
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:41,200
Stop fighting it.
349
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:43,280
Wait, look!
350
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,450
I’m here, posers.
351
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:50,420
Nightpain, destroy the plant leader!
The leader, over there!
352
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:54,460
– What do you want me to do?
– Shoot it!
353
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,170
Really?
Shoot a plant?
354
00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:58,340
Shoot it!
355
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:05,010
Wait a minute.
356
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,140
What is this?
357
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:10,560
This says it was bought
at Lowes Home and Garden for $29.95.
358
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,020
Lowes Home and Garden?
359
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,400
These are just plants.
360
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,230
They talk to me.
361
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,530
They’re just ficus plants
in vibrating pots.
362
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,530
– But…
– It’s over, Harold Flannigan!
363
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,160
So we have just one question for you.
364
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,370
Are you scared?
365
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:31,580
– What do you mean?
– Are you scared?
366
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:33,790
That’s good!
367
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,630
’Cause you’re on Yes, I was scared!
368
00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:46,100
Look at the camera right there.
369
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,390
Oh, my God!
Are you serious?
370
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,430
Your wife Sarah put you up to this.
371
00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:51,850
I got you!
372
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:54,400
This is a prank?
373
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,770
Oh, man, that’s good!
They got us good.
374
00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:59,280
I turned traitor for no reason?
375
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,910
– Did you know about this?
– I have no idea what’s going on.
376
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,320
Howard, did you suspect at all
that the gardening job
377
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:07,450
at a camp for troubled teens
was a set up?
378
00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,490
They really had me convinced!
379
00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,120
And you didn’t suspect anything
380
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:14,290
when we had plants tell you
to turn goths and vamp kids into emos
381
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:16,710
when really
they’re exactly the same thing?
382
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,630
I guess I should have figured it out.
I’m an idiot.
383
00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:21,670
Tune in again next week,
384
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,680
when we make
a woman from Milwaukee
385
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,350
think she’s working
at a haunted abortion clinic.
386
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:35,980
So, my friends,
have you made the transformation?
387
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,440
Henrietta, we have some bad news.
388
00:20:39,570 --> 00:20:42,240
The plants you think took over
your body and made you emo…
389
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,150
They’re just plants…
390
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,820
from Lowes Home and Garden.
391
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:49,910
It was all a prank
by some douchey network reality show.
392
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,870
There’s an organic spore in my head
393
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,460
that made me
switch cliques so easily.
394
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,460
You just kind of did it on your own.
395
00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:02,260
Oh, my God.
396
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,720
This is so embarrassing.
397
00:21:06,970 --> 00:21:07,970
Hang on.
398
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:09,890
What I meant to say was,
399
00:21:10,010 --> 00:21:13,890
we just infiltrated the emo lair,
and we torched the plant leader.
400
00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:23,940
It’s me!
401
00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:25,780
I’m me again!
402
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:29,280
Oh, my God!
I’m all better!
403
00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:30,700
Thanks, you guys.
404
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,540
Henrietta, I have dinner ready.
405
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,660
Shut up, Mom!
406
00:21:34,790 --> 00:21:38,210
Leave me alone,
you conformist bag of demon jizz!
407
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,500
Fatty!
30073
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