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1
00:00:00,739 --> 00:00:03,263
[theme music]
2
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,060
[lightning crashes]
3
00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:21,281
[birds fluttering]
4
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,938
[lightning crashes]
5
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:36,296
[music continues]
6
00:00:58,318 --> 00:01:00,146
[lightning crashes]
7
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:03,106
[instrumental music]
8
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,555
[Clyde]
Well, I can see I.. Oh.
9
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:18,991
Hold still. Hold still.
10
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:20,906
You are.. Oh!
Ah, ah. Oh!
11
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,822
Bang, bang, Mr. Umney.
You better skedaddle.
12
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:26,085
I got a big, bad gun,
and it's smokin'.
13
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,740
Oh, don't shoot.
I'll do anything.
14
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,829
[Arlene]
Oh, just you wait, Mr. Umney.
15
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,657
[Umney]
Boy, you're awfully slippery.
16
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,225
Ah. I like 'em slippery.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
17
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,183
You're nothin'
but a high-class gigolo.
18
00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:38,315
Low-class, baby.
19
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,707
[laughing]
20
00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:45,017
Oh, gosh, you're fun.
21
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:46,540
You think so?
22
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:53,895
Mrs. Sternwood.
Uh, have a drink?
23
00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:56,246
Clyde, you stinker.
24
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:59,205
Mr. Sternwood
was the stinker, remember?
25
00:01:59,292 --> 00:02:01,468
And I got you out of it
clean and square.
26
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,602
Oh, Clyde, I thought
we had something special.
27
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:05,820
We gave it a go.
28
00:02:05,907 --> 00:02:08,823
Right. Well,
no more daydreaming.
29
00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,696
I know you don't love me. You've
made it more than obvious.
30
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,960
So, I am going to end my life.
31
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,049
- What is that?
- Drain cleaner.
32
00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:20,966
Drain cleaner?
Somehow, I don't think so.
33
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,968
You know, Mrs. Sternwood,
I don't believe
34
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,840
I've ever really seen you
the way I'm seeing you now.
35
00:02:25,927 --> 00:02:28,843
- What do you see?
- You're lovely.
36
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:30,367
Cunning.
37
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,631
You are, Mrs. Sternwood,
the last eternal mystery.
38
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:37,330
Scorching, beautiful..
39
00:02:37,417 --> 00:02:38,636
...built for love.
40
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:41,987
Not the kind of woman
who would ever
41
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,076
clean her own drains.
42
00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:50,430
- Aah! Oh, my God!
- Sugar crystals.
43
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,172
- Just as I suspected.
- Oh, my God.
44
00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:54,782
[phone ringing]
45
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,655
Clyde Umney,
private investigator.
46
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,613
Oh, I'm a fool.
47
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:03,095
And you're awfully sweet.
48
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:05,924
Trouble at blondie's.
I've gotta go.
49
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:09,101
But-but, Mr. Umney,
I.. Wait, wait, wait.
50
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:12,583
Get some coffee for her sugar,
will you, doll?
51
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:15,542
[instrumental music]
52
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:23,898
- Worries, Mr. Umney?
- Not my style.
53
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,946
What have you got here, Vernon?
54
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:32,080
Why.. Why, that's Jesus
walkin' on the sea of Galilee.
55
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:36,084
And my wife dressed up
like sweetheart of the rodeo.
56
00:03:36,171 --> 00:03:37,825
- Nice fringes.
- Hm.
57
00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:46,051
Vernon, you've invented
something here.
58
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,400
We are standing
in the world's first
59
00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:48,923
moving-up-and-down
picture gallery.
60
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:50,621
Why, it's art
for the modern age.
61
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,013
Efficient, cost-effective..
62
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,233
Look out! He's got a gun!
63
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,974
Oh, God.
64
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,541
[grunting]
65
00:03:57,628 --> 00:04:00,283
[clattering]
66
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,459
[elevator dings]
67
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,417
Oh, my gosh..
Officer, quick.
68
00:04:04,504 --> 00:04:06,376
You're a tough old bird,
aren't ya?
69
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,813
- No worries, Mr. Umney.
- He's right in there.
70
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,772
[instrumental music]
71
00:04:21,347 --> 00:04:24,263
[indistinct chatter]
72
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,233
That's it. I'm leaving.
73
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,192
- Where do you think you're...
- Don't.
74
00:04:42,063 --> 00:04:43,413
I have to turn you in.
75
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,501
What's your problem, Ardis?
76
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,459
You got popcorn for brains?
77
00:04:46,546 --> 00:04:49,375
I saw what you did, Dunninger.
I couldn't help it.
78
00:04:49,462 --> 00:04:51,116
I was on that street corner
waiting for the bus
79
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,031
when you pulled up
and shot three innocent people.
80
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,599
Now, don't go soft. They were
double-dealing dope addicts.
81
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:58,166
- I can't just forget it.
- You can if you're smart.
82
00:04:58,253 --> 00:05:00,821
If you turn yourself in to the
police, they'll go easy on you.
83
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:02,562
That's right.
They'll fry me nice and slow.
84
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,608
When my little sister was lost
85
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,131
drowning in sin
86
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:09,395
I just waited, thinking
God will protect her
87
00:05:09,482 --> 00:05:10,440
that she'd come to her senses
88
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:11,876
and it'd be alright.
89
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,226
You know what,
Mr. Dunninger?
90
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,141
God is out to lunch.
91
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,099
Go the police,
and they'll be scraping
92
00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:19,884
your little sister's face off
the pavement and shoveling it
93
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,103
in one of blondie's
homemade mincemeat pies!
94
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,366
Let her go, Dunninger.
95
00:05:26,847 --> 00:05:30,416
Bow-wow.
The talented Mr. Umney.
96
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:34,377
[intense music]
97
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,822
Clyde, look out!
98
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,780
[gunfire]
99
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:53,613
[gunfire]
100
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,573
[glass shattering]
101
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,402
Stay here!
102
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,015
[male #1]
Behind the bar!
103
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:07,018
[gunfire]
104
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:16,201
[instrumental music]
105
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,425
[groaning]
106
00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:28,169
[female #1]
Oh, my!
107
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,001
[whispering]
Clyde?
108
00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:39,398
Clyde?
109
00:06:39,485 --> 00:06:41,269
[distant siren wailing]
110
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:48,015
- You okay, doll?
- I am now.
111
00:06:48,102 --> 00:06:49,408
Come home with me.
112
00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:52,150
I can't. Mother's waiting.
113
00:06:55,283 --> 00:06:59,157
Run away to Mexico with me,
just you, me, and the road.
114
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,986
It's not like that, Clyde.
115
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,684
- You know it never is.
- It's different for us.
116
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:06,207
We're one and the same.
117
00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:08,209
We belong together and someday
118
00:07:08,296 --> 00:07:09,994
I'll prove that to you.
119
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,474
- Come on, folks.
- Stan!
120
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,693
- Yeah, Clyde?
- Do me a favor, will ya?
121
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:15,303
See that Ms. McGill
gets home.
122
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,653
You betcha.
123
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,092
Stay out of the rain, kid.
124
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,443
[instrumental music]
125
00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:27,272
[indistinct chattering]
126
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,711
[Gloria laughing]
127
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,716
[dog barking]
128
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,811
Shut up, Buster.
Get a job.
129
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,552
[Gloria]
Whoo!
130
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,172
Whoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
131
00:07:58,259 --> 00:07:59,870
Swell.
132
00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:04,352
[instrumental music]
133
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,053
[Gloria]
Go on. One more time.
134
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:11,185
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
135
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:15,102
Wait. Come here. Come back.
136
00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:17,714
There. Oh! Ha-ha-ha!
137
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,803
- George.
- That's my...
138
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:24,634
[Gloria]
Wait, wait. Now. Go!
139
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,680
Ohh! Ha-ha-ha!
140
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:33,251
[Gloria]
Whoa. Okay, one more.
141
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:36,210
[instrumental music]
142
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,459
[music continues]
143
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,550
[whirring]
144
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,252
[indistinct laughing]
145
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,740
[dramatic music]
146
00:09:37,271 --> 00:09:40,187
[ticking]
147
00:09:47,281 --> 00:09:49,196
[birds chirping]
148
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,509
[horn blaring]
149
00:10:06,561 --> 00:10:09,477
[birds chirping]
150
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,221
Boys, this is one perfect day.
151
00:10:14,308 --> 00:10:16,528
Somebody should slap a little
"R" inside a circle symbol
152
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,356
right smack
in the middle of this day
153
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:20,358
a registered Los Angeles morning
154
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,708
a Louis B. Mayer production.
155
00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:25,363
Hmm.
156
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,149
What do you say,
George and Gloria?
157
00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:31,456
Something okey-pokey?
158
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:34,720
Heh-heh-heh. Feeling
an itchy-wincy hangover?
159
00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:36,069
[cat meows]
160
00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:38,115
Look! Buster, a cat!
161
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,509
Hey, what's the beef?
162
00:10:41,596 --> 00:10:42,554
Why don't you yap
when I need you to
163
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,077
you ignorant mutt?
164
00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:47,037
[instrumental music]
165
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,305
- Vern.
- Mr. Umney.
166
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,052
What happened to Jesus
walkin' on the sea of Galilee?
167
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:04,315
Where's the sweetheart
of the rodeo? What is this?
168
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,796
[Vernon]
Remember, the party is on Friday.
169
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,712
Wait a damn minute.
What party? What's going on?
170
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,801
[coughs]
Retirement.
171
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,151
[scoffs]
To hell you say.
172
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:16,240
Mr. Landry's coming.
173
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,199
Mr. Sam Landry,
owner of this building.
174
00:11:20,461 --> 00:11:22,550
If you don't wanna come, fine.
175
00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:24,117
You've been acting
crazy as a loon
176
00:11:24,204 --> 00:11:26,816
for the past six months anyhow.
177
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:31,168
- What's gotten into you?
- You know what.
178
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,039
It's the big C.
179
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,520
Terminal cancer?
Since yesterday?
180
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,740
I'm retiring to Arizona.
181
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,830
Gonna live with my sister
for as long as I have.
182
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,222
Ha, let's face it
183
00:11:42,309 --> 00:11:45,965
I don't expect to wear out
my welcome.
184
00:11:46,052 --> 00:11:48,881
You're supposed to be here,
right here sittin' on your stool
185
00:11:48,968 --> 00:11:51,362
with Jesus and your wife
over your head. Not, not this.
186
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,233
For how long, Mr. Umney?
187
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,887
And since you know everything
188
00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:56,584
you could probably tell me.
189
00:11:56,671 --> 00:12:00,197
How long do I have
to keep driving this damn car?
190
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,373
[coughing]
191
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:06,246
Well... forever.
192
00:12:07,682 --> 00:12:09,684
Forever, Vernon.
193
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:12,383
- You can't retire.
- No?
194
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,341
Oh, the way it looks to me
195
00:12:14,428 --> 00:12:15,952
I really ain't got a choice.
196
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,780
[elevator dings]
197
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,653
This isn't right.
198
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,351
You know it isn't right, Vern.
199
00:12:24,438 --> 00:12:26,527
What's not right,
Mr. Umney?
200
00:12:26,614 --> 00:12:29,530
[laughing]
201
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,232
Bye, Mr. Umney.
202
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,538
[instrumental music]
203
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:39,540
[Vernon laughing]
204
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,460
Get me the file
on the Mavis Weld case
205
00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:47,940
will you, doll?
206
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:54,555
[instrumental music]
207
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,998
[Arlene]
"Dear Clyde,
I have had all the groping
208
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,738
and sneering I'm going to take from you.
209
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,523
Life is too short to be pawed
210
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,439
by a washed-up divorce
detective with bad breath.
211
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:10,267
You did have your good points, Clyde
212
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,660
but they are getting
drowned out by the bad ones.
213
00:13:12,747 --> 00:13:14,793
Do yourself a favor and grow up.
214
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,143
Yours truly, Arlene Cain.
215
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,493
P.S. I'm going back
to my mother's in Idaho.
216
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:22,279
Do not try to get in touch with me."
217
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,151
She liked it.
218
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,849
She said she liked it.
219
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,463
[Sam]
Bad day, Clyde?
220
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,639
[intense music]
221
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,859
[airplane droning]
222
00:13:44,997 --> 00:13:47,870
Samuel D. Landry
at your service.
223
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,003
Sam Landry?
224
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,440
You're the..
225
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,486
You're the one
that owns the building.
226
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,009
It's all my fault.
227
00:13:57,096 --> 00:14:01,013
I'm sorry, Clyde,
I really am, but, uh..
228
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,277
...meeting you has been, well..
229
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,758
...not what I expected.
230
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:09,195
For one thing..
231
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,328
...I like you a lot more
than I thought I would.
232
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:14,984
But I've got business here..
233
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,855
...and there's no going back.
234
00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:19,205
Yeah, y-y-you're not like
any businessman
235
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,554
I have ever seen.
236
00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:21,991
You call that a briefcase?
237
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:25,211
It's a computer,
a typewriter with a brain.
238
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,867
Ah. Ha-ha. Okay.
239
00:14:28,954 --> 00:14:30,913
I'm gettin' it now.
240
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,523
You carry a brain around
in your briefcase.
241
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,959
You wear shoes that look like
242
00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:36,570
Boris Karloff's
Frankenstein get-up
243
00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:39,791
What are you, some sort
of a horror-movie guy?
244
00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:42,402
No. Clyde,
I'm a literary guy.
245
00:14:42,489 --> 00:14:44,578
What's the writing
on your shoes?
246
00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:46,145
- Reebok.
- Reebok?
247
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:49,018
Sounds like a dish
on a Chinese carryout menu.
248
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,368
Oh, you like that, huh?
249
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:53,283
I know all your ideas, Clyde.
250
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:56,764
- After all, I'm you.
- Yeah.
251
00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:58,549
I noticed the resemblance.
252
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,551
Not familiar
with the Cologne, though.
253
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,335
It's called Aramis.
254
00:15:02,422 --> 00:15:04,381
It won't be invented
for another 40 years or so
255
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,425
just like my sneakers.
256
00:15:05,512 --> 00:15:07,166
The devil you say.
257
00:15:07,253 --> 00:15:09,125
Ah, the devil
might come into it.
258
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,778
Where are you from?
259
00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:13,868
I come from the future, Clyde..
260
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,175
...just like a..
261
00:15:16,262 --> 00:15:18,177
...a pulp-magazine story.
262
00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:20,919
Yeah, you come from Sunnyland
Sanitarium, more like it.
263
00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:23,400
But not like
a science-fiction story.
264
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,619
Not exactly.
265
00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:27,360
What was your father's name, Clyde?
266
00:15:27,447 --> 00:15:30,059
What has that got to do with the
price of cucumbers on Monday?
267
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,235
You don't know, do you?
What about your mother's?
268
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,758
Here's a couple of easy ones
across the plate.
269
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:34,977
Where'd you go to school?
270
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,108
What was the name
of the first girl
271
00:15:36,195 --> 00:15:37,283
you ever went all the way with?
272
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,676
Okay, stop playin' games.
273
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,156
Where'd you grow up?
274
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,245
Carmel?
Dusty bottom, New Mexico?
275
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:45,639
- Cut the crap.
- Do you know? Do you?
276
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,946
Yeah. It was, um..
277
00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:53,038
[Samuel]
"San Diego! Born and raised."
278
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:55,171
San Diego.
That feels right.
279
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:58,261
It feels right
because I wrote it.
280
00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,002
What's a Sony?
281
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,221
Some sort of a side dish
you get with a Reebok dinner?
282
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:05,355
[chuckles]
It's a Japanese
electronics company.
283
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,661
Oh, now you're
kiddin' me, mister.
284
00:16:07,748 --> 00:16:10,055
The Japs can't even
make a windup toy.
285
00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:12,144
Not now.
286
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:14,016
Tell me, Clyde, when is now?
287
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:17,628
- Do you know the date?
- 1938.
288
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:20,761
W-w-wait, wait a minute.
Uh, 1939.
289
00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:24,113
Don't feel badly. You don't
know, because I don't know.
290
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:28,204
I've always kept the timeline
vague in my novels.
291
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,903
Going more for a feeling.
Call it Chandler American time.
292
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,732
- Works for my readers.
- Okay.
293
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,516
Tell me what's goin' on here.
294
00:16:36,603 --> 00:16:38,170
[instrumental music]
295
00:16:38,257 --> 00:16:41,565
You're beginning to know, aren't you?
296
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,306
Maybe I don't know my
dad's name or my mom's name
297
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:46,396
or the first girl I went
to bed with because..
298
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,268
...you don't know.
Is that it?
299
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,096
You're getting warm.
300
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:52,793
You don't just
own this building..
301
00:16:55,535 --> 00:16:56,841
...you own everything.
302
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,712
Hot, hot, hot.
303
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,627
Hot as a hot potato.
304
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:03,543
You see the picture on the wall
to the left of the door?
305
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,416
Don't do it.
306
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,070
"On the wall to the left of the door
307
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:11,421
a revered leader hangs,
but always slightly askew.
308
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:14,641
That's my way of keeping
him in perspective."
309
00:17:14,728 --> 00:17:16,600
[music continues]
310
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:22,258
You're a writer.
You made me up.
311
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,521
When? Or is that
even the right question?
312
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,392
You first appeared in a mystery
313
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:32,311
called "Requiem for a Lady" in 19... 77.
314
00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:36,010
You've grown a lot more complex
and interesting since then.
315
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,838
You were pretty one-dimensional
at the beginning.
316
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,275
Yeah?
What a pisser for me.
317
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:42,016
Your latest was called
"How Like A Fallen Angel."
318
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:46,847
I started that in 1995.
Took me five years to finish.
319
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,980
My life's been interesting, Clyde.
320
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,157
Yeah? Well, you screwed up
big-time with this one.
321
00:17:52,244 --> 00:17:54,725
I didn't wanna scare you
any more than I had to.
322
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:58,076
Yeah? Well, you're
scaring me plenty, mister.
323
00:17:58,163 --> 00:17:59,599
If you created me
324
00:17:59,686 --> 00:18:01,297
and you can turn
George Washington
325
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:04,256
into Franklin Delano Roosevelt..
326
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:05,997
...then you can do anything.
327
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:09,000
[instrumental music]
328
00:18:10,697 --> 00:18:13,570
[keys clacking]
329
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,226
[wind howling]
330
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,185
[intense music]
331
00:18:30,891 --> 00:18:33,024
Buster. Here, boy.
332
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:34,634
[whistling]
333
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,989
George? Gloria?
334
00:18:42,076 --> 00:18:43,991
It's me, Clyde, from next door.
335
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:49,127
[intense music]
336
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,312
[wind howling]
337
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,104
[intense music]
338
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,634
Here's to you,
George and Gloria.
339
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,940
No more parties.
340
00:19:20,027 --> 00:19:22,421
No more trips to Palm Desert.
341
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:24,380
No more Basie and Ellington
342
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:27,426
blowin' through
the open window in spring.
343
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,734
No more of that Welsh Corgi bark
344
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,040
that goes through your head
like slivers of glass.
345
00:19:33,127 --> 00:19:36,043
[instrumental music]
346
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,352
You did this.
347
00:19:40,439 --> 00:19:43,050
You made George kill his wife,
you stinkin' bastard!
348
00:19:43,137 --> 00:19:44,617
You're a clever boy, Clyde
349
00:19:44,704 --> 00:19:46,228
but readers love nasty murders
350
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,752
because secretly
they wanna be the killer
351
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,362
shoot the annoying neighbor.
352
00:19:50,449 --> 00:19:53,191
Strangle
that whining girlfriend.
353
00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:54,932
Make-believe is a great healer.
354
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,890
Yeah? Well, it didn't heal the Demmicks.
355
00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:58,631
They were good people.
356
00:19:58,718 --> 00:20:01,112
You think you're god,
but you're just a two-bit bully.
357
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,070
Why, I've beaten wise guys
tougher than you
358
00:20:03,157 --> 00:20:05,029
in your own books!
359
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:10,948
"His revelations hit me like some kind
360
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:14,473
of debilitating drug.
361
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,259
All the strength went out of my muscles.
362
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:22,873
My legs felt like a couple of
strands of al dente spaghetti.
363
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,356
All I could do was
flop back in my chair
364
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,140
and look at him."
365
00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:33,405
That's not very good,
but rapid composition
366
00:20:33,492 --> 00:20:36,060
has never been
one of my strong points.
367
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:38,062
You son of a bitch.
368
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:39,803
Yeah.
369
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,153
I suppose I am.
370
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,764
You know your client,
Mavis Weld?
371
00:20:44,851 --> 00:20:46,331
She was a character in a novel
372
00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:49,029
called the "Little Sister"
by Raymond Chandler.
373
00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:50,640
- Ring a bell?
- No.
374
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,511
No. Of course not.
375
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:54,774
In your world,
Chandler never even existed.
376
00:20:54,861 --> 00:20:55,949
But he's the man
377
00:20:56,036 --> 00:20:58,038
for every mystery scribe
since then.
378
00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:01,085
Clyde Umney was the name
of the lawyer in "Playback."
379
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,957
I did it as a... um,
a tribute.
380
00:21:04,044 --> 00:21:06,220
- An hommage.
- Hommage?
381
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,049
Sounds like a fancy word
for stealing, if you ask me.
382
00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,878
So what did you come here for?
What's the heist?
383
00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:14,141
I came for you, Clyde.
384
00:21:14,228 --> 00:21:17,057
- For me?
- Sorry.
385
00:21:17,144 --> 00:21:18,363
I'm afraid you're
gonna have to think of your life
386
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:20,670
in a new way from now on, Clyde
387
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:23,020
as a, um..
388
00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,631
...well, as a pair of shoes.
389
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,633
You're stepping out,
and I'm stepping in.
390
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,332
Oh. How fascinating.
391
00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:33,596
And, uh, what happens
to Clyde Umney?
392
00:21:34,901 --> 00:21:36,207
I want you to see something.
393
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:38,122
This is my personal diary.
394
00:21:38,209 --> 00:21:41,560
Don't even think about it.
395
00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:43,475
[breathing heavily]
396
00:21:43,562 --> 00:21:45,956
This is stuff I didn't make up.
397
00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:48,567
This is my life..
398
00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:50,569
...the interesting part.
399
00:21:50,656 --> 00:21:52,658
Why did you come for me?
400
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:55,748
There.
401
00:22:06,063 --> 00:22:07,586
[Clyde]
It's..
402
00:22:07,673 --> 00:22:09,806
It's about a cemetery.
403
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:21,295
[Sam]
Linda and I went to see
our son's grave every week.
404
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:23,341
[Clyde]
I'm sorry for you, Landry.
405
00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:31,915
I can't come here anymore.
406
00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,352
Why? Are you behind
on writing the book?
407
00:22:34,439 --> 00:22:35,571
How can you say that?
408
00:22:35,658 --> 00:22:37,050
Because the book is all you do.
409
00:22:37,137 --> 00:22:38,400
Yes, I write
410
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:40,706
in order to stay
relatively sane.
411
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:41,838
But coming here is like
412
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:44,449
ripping out stitches
over and over.
413
00:22:44,536 --> 00:22:46,799
Well, I'm not gonna leave Danny.
414
00:22:46,886 --> 00:22:48,453
Nobody's leaving him.
415
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:50,673
It's just so cold in the ground
416
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,762
and he's all alone.
417
00:22:54,154 --> 00:22:57,506
How long do we go on
blaming ourselves?
418
00:22:57,593 --> 00:22:59,943
Just give me a minute,
will you, hon'?
419
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,991
[instrumental music]
420
00:23:31,278 --> 00:23:34,194
[children screaming]
421
00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:44,378
Mom! Dad!
Look at me!
422
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:47,556
- Yeah, they're gonna win.
- Don't you dare.
423
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:49,862
- Go! Go!
- Oh, yeah!
424
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:56,390
[clamoring]
425
00:23:58,610 --> 00:24:01,483
[instrumental music]
426
00:24:15,714 --> 00:24:17,586
[splashing]
427
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,382
- You owe me!
- Get outta here.
428
00:24:31,469 --> 00:24:33,340
Danny.
429
00:24:33,427 --> 00:24:35,168
Danny!
430
00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:38,737
[cheering]
431
00:24:45,352 --> 00:24:47,093
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool! Come on!
432
00:24:47,180 --> 00:24:48,834
Sam! Sam! Sam!
433
00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:51,054
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
434
00:24:51,141 --> 00:24:52,534
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
435
00:24:52,621 --> 00:24:54,361
Somebody help!
436
00:24:56,102 --> 00:24:57,974
[instrumental music]
437
00:24:58,061 --> 00:25:01,499
[Linda]
Dan! Danny! No!
438
00:25:01,586 --> 00:25:03,545
- Get him out!
- Help Danny!
439
00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:05,982
Get him out!
440
00:25:16,862 --> 00:25:18,429
[Linda]
Where are you?
441
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,825
Uh, page 187.
442
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:26,306
No. Not what freakin'
page you're on.
443
00:25:26,393 --> 00:25:29,658
Where are you? How are you?
444
00:25:29,745 --> 00:25:31,268
'Cause you're not here with me.
445
00:25:31,355 --> 00:25:32,791
I'm working.
446
00:25:32,878 --> 00:25:34,445
You're escaping.
447
00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:37,013
Off in your own
private universe.
448
00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:38,623
Oh, God.
449
00:25:38,710 --> 00:25:41,278
You know what?
That's great for you, Sam.
450
00:25:41,365 --> 00:25:43,410
Why don't you just live
in your fictional world
451
00:25:43,497 --> 00:25:45,151
because that way,
you never have to face the fact
452
00:25:45,238 --> 00:25:47,110
that we've lost our son.
453
00:25:48,764 --> 00:25:50,809
I'm aware of the facts.
454
00:25:54,857 --> 00:25:59,470
God. You know what?
455
00:25:59,557 --> 00:26:03,082
Maybe I'm as nutty as you,
but sometimes..
456
00:26:03,169 --> 00:26:05,476
...sometimes I wish
Clyde Umney were here.
457
00:26:05,563 --> 00:26:08,610
He's definitely younger.
458
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:11,787
I mean, remember when he saved
Ardis McGill from going crazy
459
00:26:11,874 --> 00:26:14,572
when she lost her little sister
to a life of prostitution
460
00:26:14,659 --> 00:26:17,183
and, and how he consoled
Mrs. Norris
461
00:26:17,270 --> 00:26:20,534
and how like a fallen angel,
h-he gave her hope.
462
00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:22,188
He brought her back to life.
463
00:26:22,275 --> 00:26:24,277
He screwed her brains out.
464
00:26:26,758 --> 00:26:29,848
You just sit there
staring at that screen.
465
00:26:33,069 --> 00:26:35,549
Linda didn't know it, but..
466
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:37,987
...she gave me
the idea to come here.
467
00:26:38,074 --> 00:26:39,597
She's given me
a lot of good ideas.
468
00:26:39,684 --> 00:26:41,381
Not only do you steal
from that guy Ray Chandler
469
00:26:41,468 --> 00:26:42,948
you steal from your own wife.
470
00:26:43,035 --> 00:26:44,994
I've heard of low,
but that's bargain basement.
471
00:26:45,081 --> 00:26:47,083
Are you getting this news flash?
472
00:26:47,170 --> 00:26:49,085
Writers are the most shameless
473
00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:51,696
self-centered bastards
in the world.
474
00:26:51,783 --> 00:26:54,830
We lie, we seduce,
we'll steal your soul.
475
00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,527
Anything to look good
on the page.
476
00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:58,485
Eh, you won't get
any tea and sympathy from me.
477
00:26:58,572 --> 00:27:00,618
I'm a bestselling author
478
00:27:00,705 --> 00:27:03,839
and I don't have the words
to console my own wife.
479
00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:06,363
You're my alter ego.
480
00:27:06,450 --> 00:27:08,800
You can do what I can't do.
481
00:27:08,887 --> 00:27:11,324
- Go to Linda. Help her.
- You are nuts!
482
00:27:11,411 --> 00:27:13,109
Like the way you saved
Mrs. Sternwood
483
00:27:13,196 --> 00:27:16,199
from swallowing drain cleaner,
if that'd been me..
484
00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:18,636
...I would've had a panic
attack. But you were great.
485
00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:21,857
I'll stay right here
in my own shoes, thanks.
486
00:27:21,944 --> 00:27:24,294
As you say in your world,
I am the man.
487
00:27:24,381 --> 00:27:27,079
What the hell does that mean?
We're all men.
488
00:27:27,166 --> 00:27:29,691
Here. Take a powder.
I got work to do.
489
00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:31,910
Don't get snotty.
I made you.
490
00:27:31,997 --> 00:27:34,696
Oops. Did we make daddy mad?
491
00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:36,828
Is that how you talked
to your little boy?
492
00:27:38,395 --> 00:27:39,570
Damn you.
493
00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:41,398
Ah, what are you gonna do?
494
00:27:41,485 --> 00:27:43,922
Turn me into a barking dog?
495
00:27:44,009 --> 00:27:47,447
"Dunninger's boys knew
they couldn't touch me
496
00:27:47,534 --> 00:27:49,841
without bringing down the heat.
497
00:27:49,928 --> 00:27:54,019
So they took it out on my girl.
498
00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:58,197
Well, not her, exactly
499
00:27:58,284 --> 00:27:59,677
but her little sister."
500
00:27:59,764 --> 00:28:00,983
Don't do this, Landry.
501
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:04,464
"And when Ardis found the poor kid
502
00:28:04,551 --> 00:28:06,728
she looked like she'd been attacked
503
00:28:06,815 --> 00:28:09,295
by a circus of crazed monkeys
504
00:28:09,382 --> 00:28:11,080
with Samurai swords."
505
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,082
Stop it, you stinkin' pervert!
506
00:28:13,169 --> 00:28:16,563
"And they carved her
face into monkey meat."
507
00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:19,566
They killed her, Clyde,
my poor little sister.
508
00:28:19,653 --> 00:28:22,265
- I know.
- Why did she have to suffer so?
509
00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:23,788
Ardis, get the hell out of here.
510
00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:25,659
I told you
it would never be good.
511
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,400
This world of ours
is a heartless maze
512
00:28:27,487 --> 00:28:29,359
of greed and hate,
and there's no way out.
513
00:28:29,446 --> 00:28:32,884
You're wrong. The world is
bright because you're in it.
514
00:28:32,971 --> 00:28:34,277
Why do bullies always win?
515
00:28:34,364 --> 00:28:36,496
"She was already over the edge.
516
00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:39,586
And there was nothing
I could do to stop her."
517
00:28:39,673 --> 00:28:41,327
They don't always win.
You know why?
518
00:28:41,414 --> 00:28:42,807
Because there's love.
519
00:28:42,894 --> 00:28:46,942
"She had taken things
into her own hands."
520
00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:48,813
I hear you, my darling.
521
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:51,250
Ardis, listen.
522
00:28:51,337 --> 00:28:52,295
No!
523
00:28:52,382 --> 00:28:55,298
[grunting]
524
00:28:55,385 --> 00:28:57,517
I wish you
all the love in the world.
525
00:28:57,604 --> 00:28:59,432
[gunshot]
526
00:29:06,135 --> 00:29:08,398
You didn't have to do that.
527
00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:09,660
It's a new chapter, pal.
528
00:29:09,747 --> 00:29:11,880
You think you're pretty slick
529
00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:13,577
Mr. God almighty.
530
00:29:13,664 --> 00:29:15,840
But you're a bush-league
version of god.
531
00:29:15,927 --> 00:29:18,190
I'm not your puppet.
You can't control me.
532
00:29:18,277 --> 00:29:20,323
"My will ebbing
533
00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:22,281
I pushed on."
534
00:29:22,368 --> 00:29:23,935
- "This was it."
- You're dust.
535
00:29:24,022 --> 00:29:26,459
- And your stories are dust.
- "Final adversary.."
536
00:29:26,546 --> 00:29:28,157
- It's the characters...
- "The last gun battle.."
537
00:29:28,244 --> 00:29:29,375
Nobody'll remember your clever...
538
00:29:29,462 --> 00:29:30,724
"...coming at me
539
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,683
like a bullet to the gut."
540
00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:35,555
But they'll remember
Clyde Umney.
541
00:29:35,642 --> 00:29:37,644
Ah, that's right.
542
00:29:37,731 --> 00:29:40,169
Make everything stop
so you can do anything you want.
543
00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:41,823
Clyde Umney would never do that.
544
00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:44,042
He'd call it
the coward's way out.
545
00:29:47,567 --> 00:29:49,395
Let me live.
546
00:29:49,482 --> 00:29:51,267
This is my life.
547
00:29:52,398 --> 00:29:53,486
Too late.
548
00:29:53,573 --> 00:29:55,314
[swooshing]
549
00:29:55,401 --> 00:29:57,708
It's my name on the windows.
550
00:29:57,795 --> 00:30:00,624
I have always wanted
to be a private eye.
551
00:30:00,711 --> 00:30:02,408
Ever since I was a little kid.
552
00:30:02,495 --> 00:30:05,455
To live in a world
I could understand.
553
00:30:05,542 --> 00:30:08,632
Where sweet little boys
don't drown..
554
00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:11,374
...and husbands and wives
don't stop loving each other.
555
00:30:12,810 --> 00:30:15,073
That place is here.
556
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,077
My place, my time,
Los Angeles, 1938.
557
00:30:19,164 --> 00:30:22,689
And that private eye is me.
558
00:30:22,776 --> 00:30:24,561
Is this the end of Clyde Umney?
559
00:30:24,648 --> 00:30:26,563
I don't exactly know
what's coming.
560
00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:29,653
Close your eyes.
561
00:30:29,740 --> 00:30:32,569
I'll try to make this quick.
562
00:30:32,656 --> 00:30:35,485
I hope it doesn't hurt, old buddy.
563
00:30:35,572 --> 00:30:39,881
But you could care less
if it does, you arrogant prick.
564
00:30:39,968 --> 00:30:42,884
"And so I left town.
565
00:30:45,321 --> 00:30:47,889
And as to where I finished up
566
00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:50,152
well, mister
567
00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:52,850
I think that's my business.
Don't you?
568
00:30:55,984 --> 00:30:57,811
The end."
569
00:31:01,293 --> 00:31:04,166
[intense music]
570
00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:11,390
[breathing heavily]
571
00:31:26,492 --> 00:31:27,929
[Linda]
Sam.
572
00:31:28,016 --> 00:31:29,669
I'm Clyde Umney.
573
00:31:32,194 --> 00:31:33,630
Gosh, Sam, what did you do?
574
00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,719
You grow a mustache
while I'm mopping the floor?
575
00:31:35,806 --> 00:31:38,200
I'm Clyde Umney,
Mrs. Landry, from 1938.
576
00:31:38,287 --> 00:31:40,332
This is a little early
for Halloween, honey.
577
00:31:40,419 --> 00:31:43,205
Can I come in?
The pool is cold.
578
00:31:43,292 --> 00:31:44,554
[shivering]
579
00:31:44,641 --> 00:31:46,164
What do you expect?
580
00:31:46,251 --> 00:31:48,732
Nobody's used it in months.
581
00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:51,213
I guess nobody would.
582
00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:53,215
Not since your son drowned.
583
00:31:53,302 --> 00:31:55,695
Danny.
He was six years old.
584
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:59,264
Sam told me all about it.
585
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:02,746
And I'm sorry. It was a tragic
accident, ma'am
586
00:32:02,833 --> 00:32:05,270
and you don't need to be
shoulderin' the blame.
587
00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:07,533
When did you talk to Sam?
588
00:32:07,620 --> 00:32:10,058
When he came into my office
and stole my damn life.
589
00:32:11,450 --> 00:32:13,713
So..
590
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,455
...this is the house
imagination built.
591
00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:18,022
Sam was big on imagination.
592
00:32:18,109 --> 00:32:19,850
Yeah, I can imagine him.
593
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:22,200
In cement shoes
at the bottom of a lake.
594
00:32:24,028 --> 00:32:25,899
Sam talked about this.
595
00:32:27,031 --> 00:32:29,338
He called it the big rewrite.
596
00:32:29,425 --> 00:32:32,863
He was gonna write you
out of your world
597
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,952
and write himself back in.
598
00:32:35,039 --> 00:32:38,477
I just thought it was
another one of his daydreams.
599
00:32:38,564 --> 00:32:40,088
But..
600
00:32:40,175 --> 00:32:41,567
Wait, you're..
601
00:32:42,742 --> 00:32:44,831
You're as real as can be.
602
00:32:44,918 --> 00:32:46,616
We swapped lives.
603
00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:49,445
That's what must've happened.
604
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:51,055
What did it feel like?
605
00:32:51,142 --> 00:32:54,754
There was a... a lot of
bright, green light, and then..
606
00:32:54,841 --> 00:32:57,366
I guess I came in
through the machine.
607
00:32:57,453 --> 00:32:59,368
Like a keyhole
between two worlds.
608
00:33:01,674 --> 00:33:03,372
But it feels alright.
609
00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:06,984
Hm.
610
00:33:07,071 --> 00:33:08,768
That thing is..
611
00:33:08,855 --> 00:33:11,771
...black-magic voodoo.
612
00:33:11,858 --> 00:33:13,643
On a good day.
613
00:33:13,730 --> 00:33:16,559
Does this mean that Sam is gone?
614
00:33:16,646 --> 00:33:19,127
He's probably got his heels up
on my damn desk right now.
615
00:33:19,214 --> 00:33:21,477
Fleecing my clients
and chasing my girl.
616
00:33:21,564 --> 00:33:23,131
Only, she's dead.
617
00:33:23,218 --> 00:33:26,134
He probably brought her back
to life, the selfish bastard.
618
00:33:28,397 --> 00:33:30,268
- Do you want a drink?
- You oughta know.
619
00:33:30,355 --> 00:33:32,879
Oh, hold the phone.
620
00:33:32,966 --> 00:33:35,882
[instrumental music]
621
00:33:37,275 --> 00:33:38,407
[pop]
622
00:33:46,284 --> 00:33:47,807
Hmm. Ahh.
623
00:33:49,287 --> 00:33:51,507
You're a lot more fun in person.
624
00:33:51,594 --> 00:33:53,465
In the novels, you're very grim.
625
00:33:53,552 --> 00:33:55,772
Murder is grim,
Mrs. Landry.
626
00:33:58,862 --> 00:34:01,038
What the hell are we
supposed to do now?
627
00:34:01,125 --> 00:34:03,171
Well..
628
00:34:03,258 --> 00:34:05,216
you're a hard-boiled
detective and I'm a dame.
629
00:34:05,303 --> 00:34:07,262
We could always find
some lonely, gullible type
630
00:34:07,349 --> 00:34:09,264
and shoot him for the insurance.
631
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:14,486
Irony. You didn't have
that in your world.
632
00:34:14,573 --> 00:34:18,447
You mean talkin' uppity
in order to sound smart?
633
00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:20,840
Yeah.
634
00:34:23,582 --> 00:34:25,062
We had it.
635
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:28,892
[instrumental music]
636
00:34:36,769 --> 00:34:38,597
Sam Landry,
private investigator.
637
00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:46,127
Sam Landry,
private investigator.
638
00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:50,522
Sam Landry here.
639
00:34:50,609 --> 00:34:52,655
Jes..
Ring.
640
00:34:54,744 --> 00:34:56,398
Landry here.
641
00:34:56,485 --> 00:34:58,617
Doll, I told ya,
don't call me at work.
642
00:35:02,708 --> 00:35:05,276
This is gonna be alright.
643
00:35:08,801 --> 00:35:10,020
[beeping]
644
00:35:13,284 --> 00:35:16,069
Ah. That's swell of you,
Mrs. Landry.
645
00:35:16,157 --> 00:35:18,071
Well, I want you
to feel at home.
646
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,597
Say, uh..
647
00:35:22,902 --> 00:35:24,730
Ahh.
648
00:35:24,817 --> 00:35:26,384
You know how
to work that machine?
649
00:35:26,471 --> 00:35:28,430
Not if you keep
calling me Mrs. Landry.
650
00:35:28,517 --> 00:35:30,301
Couldn't be any harder
than flyin' an airplane.
651
00:35:30,388 --> 00:35:32,042
Like you did in wings of deceit.
652
00:35:32,129 --> 00:35:33,696
You know,
that was not Sam's best.
653
00:35:33,783 --> 00:35:36,786
He had some success,
and then he got fat and lazy.
654
00:35:36,873 --> 00:35:39,005
Are you gettin' this
news flash, Mrs. Landry?
655
00:35:39,092 --> 00:35:40,703
Your husband cared for you,
he didn't want you
656
00:35:40,790 --> 00:35:42,357
to suffer anymore,
because of the kid kickin' off.
657
00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:43,880
That's why I'm here.
658
00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:45,273
That's why
everything's loused up
659
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,057
and somehow I gotta get back.
660
00:35:47,144 --> 00:35:49,364
But you can't, because that's
not the way Sam wrote it.
661
00:35:49,451 --> 00:35:50,887
Well, screw him.
662
00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:53,150
Sam was right, though.
663
00:35:53,237 --> 00:35:57,502
Being with you is having
a very positive effect.
664
00:35:57,589 --> 00:35:58,938
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
665
00:35:59,025 --> 00:36:00,723
Well, I call it hell.
666
00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:03,160
Frozen dinners
you cook in a box.
667
00:36:03,247 --> 00:36:05,815
Sneakers that look
like Frankenstein shoes!
668
00:36:05,902 --> 00:36:07,295
Music that sounds like crows
669
00:36:07,382 --> 00:36:08,818
being steamed alive
in a pressure cooker.
670
00:36:08,905 --> 00:36:11,560
There's a lot
to recommend in this world.
671
00:36:11,647 --> 00:36:13,649
The sushi.
672
00:36:13,736 --> 00:36:15,607
Caller ID.
673
00:36:15,694 --> 00:36:18,393
Three hundred-thread-count
Egyptian cotton sheets
674
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:19,829
available by catalog.
675
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,613
Wait a minute.
676
00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:23,615
Bite me, Clyde.
I'm just a tramp.
677
00:36:23,702 --> 00:36:25,965
I know who are.
You're Cora Papadakis.
678
00:36:26,052 --> 00:36:28,141
The hellcat from
requiem for a lady.
679
00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:29,665
You know, Sam stole that name
680
00:36:29,752 --> 00:36:31,710
from a man called
James M. Cain.
681
00:36:31,797 --> 00:36:34,104
He was a greedy little thief.
682
00:36:34,191 --> 00:36:36,280
- You're no good. You're a bum.
- Oh, God.
683
00:36:36,367 --> 00:36:39,892
Oh, just relax, will you?
We're a married couple.
684
00:36:39,979 --> 00:36:41,590
If you and my husband
are the same person
685
00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:44,157
then technically,
we must be married.
686
00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,551
Ardis McGill was always
supposed to be my one true love.
687
00:36:46,638 --> 00:36:49,772
But wait. We don't have to play
by his rules, Clyde.
688
00:36:49,859 --> 00:36:51,643
We can write our own story.
689
00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:54,951
Oh, let's just drive
to Mexico, baby
690
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:58,607
just you, me, and the road.
691
00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:00,826
Let's make a baby.
692
00:37:00,913 --> 00:37:03,786
I know it's gonna look..
693
00:37:03,873 --> 00:37:05,962
...just..
694
00:37:06,049 --> 00:37:07,442
...like you.
695
00:37:11,315 --> 00:37:14,231
When did you open shop,
Detective Landry?
696
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:15,928
A few chapters ago.
697
00:37:16,015 --> 00:37:17,365
[grunts]
698
00:37:18,757 --> 00:37:20,324
I see.
699
00:37:21,586 --> 00:37:24,110
So.. What up?
700
00:37:24,197 --> 00:37:26,504
[chuckling]
701
00:37:26,591 --> 00:37:28,158
Um..
702
00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:29,942
You suspect your wife
of fooling around?
703
00:37:30,029 --> 00:37:31,988
[bell ringing]
704
00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:41,214
- Hi, Mr. Landry.
- Candy?
705
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:42,825
No, thanks.
706
00:37:42,912 --> 00:37:44,740
I'm here to clean your pool.
707
00:37:44,827 --> 00:37:48,047
Oh. So that's what they're
callin' it these days.
708
00:37:48,134 --> 00:37:50,485
[chuckling]
Yeah.
709
00:37:50,572 --> 00:37:52,835
So, you look good.
710
00:37:52,922 --> 00:37:55,054
How's the writing going?
711
00:37:55,141 --> 00:37:56,491
Peachy.
712
00:37:56,578 --> 00:37:59,450
[instrumental music]
713
00:38:06,501 --> 00:38:08,590
I'm home, honey!
714
00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:11,506
- Bang bang!
- No! Whoa!
715
00:38:11,593 --> 00:38:13,595
- Ah!
- Ho-ho! No! No.
716
00:38:13,682 --> 00:38:15,205
- Yeah, you better run.
- Ha-ha!
717
00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:17,425
I got a big, bad gun,
and you're gonna get it.
718
00:38:17,512 --> 00:38:20,819
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
I'll do anything.
719
00:38:20,906 --> 00:38:22,691
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
720
00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:23,909
Danny's at the bottom of..
721
00:38:23,996 --> 00:38:26,608
[Linda]
Sam! Sam! Go! Sam! Go!
722
00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:28,871
Mom!
723
00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:31,177
Don't shoot. I'll do anything.
724
00:38:31,264 --> 00:38:34,703
- Get out!
- Whoa!
725
00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:38,228
- Whoa! Wai..
- Leave my boy alone!
726
00:38:38,315 --> 00:38:40,143
- Lousy, two-faced..
- Alright, calm down. Calm down.
727
00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:42,275
Washed-up divorce detective
with bad breath.
728
00:38:42,363 --> 00:38:45,931
Calm down.
Calm down, Mrs. Landry.
729
00:38:46,018 --> 00:38:47,846
I just want Sam and Danny.
730
00:38:47,933 --> 00:38:49,848
Get ahold of yourself,
Mrs. Landry.
731
00:38:49,935 --> 00:38:51,589
I thought we could start over.
732
00:38:51,676 --> 00:38:52,895
I thought we could have a baby
733
00:38:52,982 --> 00:38:54,200
and it would look just...
734
00:38:54,287 --> 00:38:55,680
Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
735
00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:57,160
No.
736
00:38:57,247 --> 00:38:59,380
I bought clothes.
737
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:02,383
I was gonna surprise you
with a second honeymoon.
738
00:39:02,470 --> 00:39:04,733
Or first, or whichever, but..
739
00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:06,561
You're with her.
740
00:39:06,648 --> 00:39:08,824
It's never gonna change,
Mrs. Landry.
741
00:39:08,911 --> 00:39:11,696
This is who I am.
This is how it's written.
742
00:39:11,783 --> 00:39:13,263
No. No.
743
00:39:13,350 --> 00:39:15,091
Because Sam changed the ending.
744
00:39:15,178 --> 00:39:18,050
Sam thought he was god,
but he forgot one thing.
745
00:39:18,137 --> 00:39:20,052
Character is destiny.
746
00:39:20,139 --> 00:39:22,707
Clyde Umney's
never gonna change.
747
00:39:22,794 --> 00:39:25,057
If it makes you feel any better,
I don't wanna be here either.
748
00:39:25,144 --> 00:39:26,581
In this groaning world of yours
749
00:39:26,668 --> 00:39:29,932
with its freight of disease
and senseless violence.
750
00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:35,198
[instrumental music]
751
00:39:35,894 --> 00:39:37,200
Oh.
752
00:39:39,115 --> 00:39:41,422
Just go.
753
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,555
Just go back to wherever
it is you came from.
754
00:39:44,642 --> 00:39:46,470
In a snap, Mrs. Landry.
755
00:39:48,429 --> 00:39:50,561
Only, God didn't leave
the directions.
756
00:40:04,009 --> 00:40:06,359
- I know she is.
- How do you know?
757
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:09,319
- I saw them together.
- You saw them together.
758
00:40:09,406 --> 00:40:10,929
So that's how you..
759
00:40:12,496 --> 00:40:14,455
...put it together.
760
00:40:14,542 --> 00:40:18,720
- Yes. In the toolshed.
- Mm-hmm.
761
00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:21,331
What, may I ask..
762
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:24,421
[sighs]
Of course, you may ask.
You ask him.
763
00:40:26,510 --> 00:40:28,077
What were they doing
in the toolshed?
764
00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:31,559
Is it necessary to go into
such personal details?
765
00:40:31,646 --> 00:40:33,386
That's why they say "Private"
766
00:40:33,474 --> 00:40:35,476
in private eye, Mr. Woolrich.
767
00:40:40,002 --> 00:40:41,960
That's pretty good.
768
00:40:46,269 --> 00:40:49,141
[instrumental music]
769
00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:53,015
[siren blaring]
770
00:41:00,805 --> 00:41:02,807
- We need a nurse in here.
- Right there.
771
00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:05,375
His pupils are
fixed and dilated.
772
00:41:05,462 --> 00:41:06,985
- Okay. Let's move him.
- Yes, doctor.
773
00:41:07,072 --> 00:41:08,378
One, two..
774
00:41:12,643 --> 00:41:14,123
We're losing him.
775
00:41:25,134 --> 00:41:28,006
[instrumental music]
776
00:41:46,329 --> 00:41:48,244
[thunder rumbling]
777
00:41:58,123 --> 00:42:00,996
[music continues]
778
00:42:03,955 --> 00:42:04,956
[wind whooshing]
779
00:42:21,364 --> 00:42:23,279
[screaming]
780
00:42:25,324 --> 00:42:27,413
- No.
- Detective Landry.
781
00:42:30,025 --> 00:42:32,723
No. No.
782
00:42:32,810 --> 00:42:35,334
- What on earth?
- No.
783
00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:46,084
[crashing]
784
00:42:46,171 --> 00:42:48,043
[car alarm blaring]
785
00:42:51,873 --> 00:42:54,615
[instrumental music]
786
00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:56,442
What have I done?
787
00:43:05,451 --> 00:43:07,628
What didn't I do?
788
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:23,644
[music continues]
789
00:43:54,979 --> 00:43:56,851
[music continues]
790
00:43:59,375 --> 00:44:01,725
[Clyde]
"Ardis McGill was
a really great gal.
791
00:44:01,812 --> 00:44:03,727
I mean, really great.
792
00:44:03,814 --> 00:44:06,991
In the sense that you'd never
met anyone like her before."
793
00:44:08,906 --> 00:44:10,821
Take me back.
794
00:44:10,908 --> 00:44:15,652
Through the looking glass.. now.
795
00:44:15,739 --> 00:44:17,567
Wow.
796
00:44:17,654 --> 00:44:19,003
Honey, that's really bad.
797
00:44:19,090 --> 00:44:21,397
Okay, okay, it isn't perfect.
798
00:44:21,484 --> 00:44:23,355
[scoffs]
It sucks.
799
00:44:23,442 --> 00:44:26,402
- But who says you can't learn?
- God.
800
00:44:26,489 --> 00:44:29,013
I guess it's a one-way thing.
You can't just type the words.
801
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:30,449
You gotta be a real writer.
802
00:44:30,536 --> 00:44:32,016
Which is what?
803
00:44:32,103 --> 00:44:35,977
A writer wakes up
with his mouth full of pity.
804
00:44:36,064 --> 00:44:37,979
Hemingway said that.
805
00:44:38,066 --> 00:44:41,460
How did I know?
I didn't. It was Sam.
806
00:44:41,547 --> 00:44:43,071
Sam's the real writer.
807
00:44:43,158 --> 00:44:44,725
I'm just me.
808
00:44:45,769 --> 00:44:47,902
Forget it, baby.
809
00:44:47,989 --> 00:44:50,687
No.
I'm gonna get better at this.
810
00:44:50,774 --> 00:44:52,384
Did you read that, Sam?
811
00:44:52,471 --> 00:44:54,735
I'm comin' after you.
812
00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:56,606
I found my way in.
813
00:44:56,693 --> 00:44:59,435
I can see you, but I don't think
you'll be able to see me.
814
00:44:59,522 --> 00:45:01,698
Not until I wrap my hands
around your neck.
815
00:45:01,785 --> 00:45:03,352
[chuckling]
816
00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:05,310
Until next time, pal.
817
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,662
[instrumental music]
818
00:45:38,517 --> 00:45:41,433
[music continues]
56731
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