All language subtitles for Life on Mars S01E02 The Real Adventures of the Unreal Sam Tyler.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.ABC

What's all this?

I'm just trying to make sense
of what's happening to me.

Way I figure, I'm in
a coma somewhere.

Or on a very intense drug trip.

Maybe I've traveled
through time,

or perhaps I've crash-landed
on an alien planet,

and as we speak,
extraterrestrials

are trying to
harvest my intellect.

I mean, such as it is.

Maybe I'm the victim
of a mind experiment,

or maybe I've died and
gone to Heaven, or Hell.

How about Purgatory? Or maybe

I've plain gone insane.

'Cause I don't know
what's real anymore.

What's this supposed to mean?

That represents the unknown.

All things I haven't
thought of yet.

It's the one out of all these
that scares me the most.

Hey. This is for your own good.

If the lieutenant sees this, you'll
wish you could go back in time.

I can't see her face.

Maya, my girlfriend in 2008.

I spent all last night
trying to picture her smile.

I couldn't do it, no
matter how hard I tried.

So, maybe if I can
figure all this out...

Sam, no more of this crazy talk.

I'm trying to be a
friend to you, but...

Okay, fair enough.

What I'm doing in 1973 and how to
get back, I'll figure it out on my own.

But until then, I guess I'm
left with only one option.

And what's that, Sam?

To spend my time here
doing what it is I do best.

Which is?

Catching bad guys.

♪ Forgot my six-string
razor Hit the sky

♪ Half way to Memphis
'fore I realized ♪

What's the big hurry, Trent?

We just want to talk to you
about an armed robbery.

You run like that, we'll begin to
think you're guilty of something, huh?

Oops! Please! Help me!

What did you do that for?

For making me run.

It's all right. He's
dressed for a dip.

I can't swim!

Isn't this a predicament?

Not really. Scum bums float.

Please! Help!

All right. Oh, come on.
You can't be serious.

Who are you working the
check-cashing robberies with, Trent?

I don't know anything!

You could tell it to us,

or you could tell it to the little
fishies at the bottom of the lake.

Bye-bye.

I don't think he's
gonna come up, guys.

Can't let him drown.

All right. Get him out, Chris.

Oh, I can't swim.

Ray?

I took some lessons
when I was a kid.

They didn't stick.

Unbelievable. Chris?

Hooray!

All right, just
breathe. You'll be fine.

Just breathe!

What's the hurry, Mark Spitz?

Hey, get this guy out of here.

Get up!

I miss you, Maya.

You okay, Sam?

He looks like one of
them cartoon characters

got hit over the head with a
frying pan. Don't he, Lieut?

Yeah, he does! Like
in the funny papers.

Like in the funny papers.

Yeah, like in the funny papers.

My name is Sam Tyler.

I was in an accident
and I woke up in 1973.

I don't know how
or why I'm here,

but whatever has happened,

it's like I've landed
on a different planet.

Now, maybe if I can
work out the reason,

I can get home.

Last week, three AAA Money
check-cashing stores were robbed.

Little over $12,000 taken.

A tasty haul.

And best of luck to
them, whoever they are.

Three bodies were
found, one at each store.

Penny Driscoll.

Hey, looks like she was cute,

before she put on
the dead chick mask.

Alonzo de Souza
and Dennis Maguire.

All shot, and that's
no small thing,

considering they were tucked
snug behind bulletproof glass

with no witnesses,
no sign of forced entry.

Yeah, that's...
That's very cool.

Hey, listen, any chance I'm
gonna get sprung anytime soon?

You know, Laugh-In
is on tonight,

and I got it bad for
that Goldie Hawn.

We know you're involved, Trent.

No one loves hitting check-cashing
stores like you and your monkey squad.

So who were you
meeting at the pool?

I was meeting my Aunt Doris.
You know, you're just her type.

No, seriously. I should
give her your number.

You could be my Uncle Gene.

Uncle Gene. Hey,
that'd be perfect.

Why don't we practice?

Say it, you filthy scrote.
You want me to stop? Say it.

Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle.

Not bad.

What is someone who can't
swim doing at Lasker Pool, Trent?

Well, it's never
too late to start.

Learning the backstroke
ain't a crime, is it?

We found this on you
when we pulled you in.

Could this be your cut
of the AAA Money jobs?

Or you just need a little
padding in your swim trunks?

Yeah, that ain't my scratch.

If it was, wouldn't it be wet?

You were saying?

What is it, June?

Assistant District
Attorney Crocker is here.

Fine. Throw this pile
of pus back in the cage.

Oh, no. Come on, man.
That cell smells like vomit.

I can help you with that.

What was that?

That money isn't from the
check-cashing robberies.

Yeah, and Roe v. Wade
ain't really two options

when you find
yourself in a river.

What does that even mean?

That's an analogy.

No, I don't think it is.

It's like an analogy.

Where I come from,
what you did is called

tampering with physical
evidence, and it's a Class E felony.

Where you come from.
Where is that, Hyde?

♪ Where guns are
made of gingerbread

♪ And criminals
confess for lollipops ♪

Do you have any evidence
linking Trent to the robberies?

Well, well, well. Aren't
you the eager beaver?

Now that was an analogy.

No, that was just obnoxious.

What's a guy got to
do to get an analogy?

If we had the evidence, we'd be
able to charge him by now, right?

That's a lot of
questions for a secretary.

There he is, the golden retriever
of the District Attorney's office.

Thank you, No-Nuts.

Lee, this is the transfer from
Hyde I told you about, Sam Tyler.

Sam, this is Lee Crocker.

Not only does he know
where all the bodies are buried,

he knows the shovel sizes.

Welcome aboard, Tyler.

Like two peas in a pansy pod.

Detective, if ignorance was a
drug, you'd be high all the time.

Now that was an analogy.

I took a look at the file, Gene.

The FCC has a better case against
George Carlin and his seven dirty words

than you have against Kim Trent.

I agree.

We have no evidence
to secure a conviction.

Give us a second, Lee.

Detective Tyler and
I need a moment.

Of course.

You want evidence?

Aladdin's cave.

What the hell is that?

There's 300 microdots of LSD
here. We plant them on Kim Trent

and watch him grow
into a big flower of justice.

That's just great.

I detect sarcasm.

How would you do it
where you come from?

We wouldn't have pulled
him in without evidence.

Even if you knew there were
people out there in real danger?

People are always in danger.

One minute, you're
going about your business.

The next, bang, you're
taken out by a speeding car.

Well, I'm taking a
speeding car off the road.

So what do you want to do?

We give him a desk
appearance ticket.

We cut him loose,
but we stay on him.

We follow him, see
where he takes us.

Get some real evidence so
we can put him away for good.

That's your big plan?

Yeah, that's my big plan.

Fine. Cut him loose.

But whatever happens
next is on your head.

You and Ray stay on Trent.

Anywhere he goes,
you guys go. Got it?

Sure thing. We'll relieve
you in the morning.

Okay. I don't know if
Ray's gonna go for that plan.

Why not? He doesn't really...

He doesn't like me. No.

No, I know. No.

The Lieut put him in for a
promotion to second grade,

and then you show up.

He... He just feels
like you took his spot.

But I wouldn't take it personal.

Yeah, well, I didn't
request this transfer.

It just happened.

It's like Guantanamo
Bay in here.

I wouldn't know. I've
never been to Puerto Rico.

Kim Trent, here is a
DAT. You are free to go.

You got to respect those
who defend the Constitution.

All hail the Nixon
administration.

Don't get too attached.

Are you okay, sir?
Did you just see that?

Was it a rat? The rats
are big in this house, sir,

but they're harmless, mostly.

I cleaned out that
cell. It smelled of vomit.

He was right. It did
stink to high heaven.

Well, I'm sure the next prisoner
will appreciate your efforts.

It's all love and light
here at the 1-2-5.

Other music news, in
honor of Mother's Day,

Elvis Presley will be performing
a special concert in Lake Tahoe

at Tahoe Sahara in memory
of his mother, Gladys Presley.

Whoa! You must be 2B. I'm Windy.

Windy. Now that's
an unusual name.

My father named me Windy because
he was a sailor and wind was his gold.

I'm Sam. What?

Hey, wow! Your
fate line, it's bisected!

Is that a good thing?

It can be. It's like
a record skipping.

You're listening to one
song, the needle gets bumped

and you're grooving to a whole
new tune. What's up there?

Well, for starters,
no naked women.

Are you new to New
York? You could say that.

It's an adjustment.

I get homesick all the
time for Decorah, Iowa.

Lot of people, a lot
of love back there.

I know the feeling.

I used to spend hours

just floating in an inner
tube, looking up at the clouds.

You and me, we stay in one
place, but the clouds go everywhere.

So sometimes I'd ask them to carry
a message back to Decorah for me.

I imagine there's
someone floating in a lake,

looking up at the same cloud,
sending me their love, too.

Hey, do you like to dance?
Because I love to dance.

Not really. Oh, great.

Well, then we'll have to dance.

Okay.

I'll see you around, 2B.

2-4-6 to Central K,

we are approaching
Trent's apartment.

Where are Chris and Ray?

2-4-6 to Central K.

Proceed, 2-4-6.

We're outside Kim
Trent's apartment.

Detectives Carling and
Skelton are not here.

Please raise car 1-3-5 and
advise of their location, K.

10-4, 2-4-6.

So is this how you
do things in Hyde?

You sit on your ass

and watch known
criminals pick their noses.

Actually, in Hyde,
we sit on our noses

and watch known
criminals pick their asses.

All units, we have a report
of a 10-22 disturbance

at AAA Check Cashing.

Let's go.

Still think it's Trent?

Actually...

Hey, police!

Take cover!

Enough.

I hit him. Good.

You okay? Yeah, I think so.

June?

BP is stabilizing, 90 over 60.

She's gonna be okay.

Pulse is normal.

All right. The bleeding's
stopped. Excuse me.

All right, let's get her. Ready?

She's gonna be okay.

You got the door?

Yeah, come on.
Let's go. Lock it down.

All right. All right, go ahead.

Where were you guys?

Lieut, we got a radio
message to call into Command.

Now, I figured it was you

shutting down Tyler's
brilliant surveillance scheme.

Took us three blocks
south to find a pay phone.

Found this radio in June's car.

She must've heard the call go out,
and wanted to be Batgirl or something.

Junie always had dreams of doing
something important at the department.

I told her, "You're a twirl,
know your place." So she didn't.

All right, I'm gonna canvass
the block, get some statements.

Somebody must've
had eyeballs on this.

This doesn't make any sense.

Trent took a huge risk.
He knew we'd be onto him.

There has to be a reason.

I want this mess cleaned up.

And I want you
to clear this away.

I don't want any of her
left lying on the street.

This is an active crime scene,
it still needs to be processed.

Clean it up! I want
you to clean it up now!

She works at the
precinct. She is family.

And I want to be able to
look her dead in the eye

and say you cleaned up every
drop of her precious blood.

Get off me!

You can't blame me, you
lunatic! This is Trent's fault!

He pulled the trigger!

You made sure there
was a trigger to pull!

We had no evidence!

Tell that to June!

I give up. I give up!

I'm sick of this cosmic joke

that everyone seems to
be in on but me! I'm sick of it.

Real.

Unreal.

Real.

Unreal.

You know, this neighborhood
has gone to the dogs.

Right. That's an
unusual ashtray.

Yeah. My granddaughter
Sofia made it for me.

She loves to come over
and see all the butts in there.

She says, "Nana uses it."

Beautiful story. Should write a
letter to the Surgeon General.

You know, if I squint,

there's a little bit of
that Steve McQueen.

Look, you have an unobstructed
view of AAA Money from here,

and judging from how much you love
your grandchild and your cigarettes,

I'm guessing you spend a lot
of time looking out that window.

Sure, I saw what happened.
But aside from the shooting,

there was nothing different
from any Tuesday or Thursday.

You guys showed up
escorting the man who got shot.

Us guys? Yeah, the police.

Policemen? In uniform?

Policemen in uniform.

You screwed up, you guys.
Real big-time, huh, Stevie?

I guess we did.

"Astronauts in orbit
to repair ailing Skylab."

And those hippies think they
know how to get high, Junie.

Let's see what kind of trouble
Dagwood's getting into today.

Been looking for you, boss.

How's she doing?

Same.

That felt good.

Yeah?

Then you're gonna love this.

♪ Told you once before
And I won't tell you no more

♪ Get down, get down, get down

♪ You're a bad dog, baby
But I still want you around

♪ You give me the creeps
When you jump on your feet ♪

I always liked June.

Truth be told, she'd
probably make a good cop.

I only know one way to police.

So do I.

I'm not squeaky-clean,
and neither is this city.

I love this city.

It needs whoever it can
get to look after it. That's me.

You're gonna make this right.

Well, I found a witness

who saw two uniforms
escort Trent into the store.

That's how they gained access.

Watch what you're saying, Tyler.

How can you, the
keeper of Aladdin's cave,

question the
existence of dirty cops

just because, you
know, you don't like it?

I'm not turning the spotlight
on my own department.

No, you're just gonna
coerce testimony

and set up suspects
just to close the case.

You got something on your
mouth there. Let me... Let me see.

What are you doing? Stop that!

Get off me!

Don't do... Don't do that.

Hey!

Police.

♪ But I still want you around

♪ Around, around I
still want you around ♪

Spaceman!

Heard the boss gave
you a ride to pummel city.

I need to talk with you,
Ray, about your moonlighting.

Talk to me.

Ain't like I'm the only one
moonlighting at the 1-2-5.

Your name turned up on a list of
cops who work security for AAA Money.

Yeah.

I make $300 and change a
week as a third-grade detective.

That's barely enough to
afford the clams oreganata

every Friday night at Guido's.

So I work a little security when
my money clip runs a little light.

What's the calamity?

Well, Trent was
working with cops.

Cops were
moonlighting as security.

You have firsthand knowledge.

You took a powder
on the stakeout, Ray?

So I'm coming to you.

You coming to me 'cause
you think I might be complicit?

It's the first I'm hearing
about cops being involved.

Well, Hunt isn't with me on this,
but I got an eyewitness that says so.

You should talk to
Crocker. The ADA?

If Hunt's stonewalling, you're
gonna need a friend on the outside.

Why are you doing this
for me, going around Hunt?

Hunt was my hook
to second grade.

For three years, I
carried his water.

Lot of good that did me
when you showed up.

Crocker's a little too
bucking-for-sainthood for my liking,

but he's a straight shooter. He'll
know what to do. Give him a try.

And you think cops from
the 1-2-5 are involved?

Well, I don't know.

Hunt's made it hard
to get any traction,

so that's why
I'm talking to you.

I'll have one of my
investigators look into it.

Should take some
of the pressure off.

I appreciate the help, not
to mention your discretion.

Of course. Heck of a way to
introduce yourself to a new house.

You don't know the half of it.

♪ To the girl with
the mousy hair

♪ But her mummy is yelling "No"

♪ And her daddy
has told her to go

♪ But her friend is
nowhere to be seen

♪ Now she walks
through her sunken dream

Maya?

♪ To the seat with
the clearest view ♪

Maya?

Maya? You in here?

Boo!

I'll remember that next time you want
me to work a uniform detail for you.

Who says "boo" in
this day and age?

You're like a cartoon
character from the funny papers.

Who says "funny papers"
in this day and age?

Like in the funny papers.

Let's light some
candles, run a bath.

I miss you, Maya.

No Internet, no
DVD, no video games.

But I don't want to live in a
world without video games.

You're kind of killing the mood.

Hey, 2B! Hey.

I whipped up a tray

of "welcome to the second
floor" lasagna for you.

Well, that's very nice of you.

What's nice is, I'm
about to introduce you

to the most luxurious
lasagna you've ever tasted.

Not to toot my own
horn, it's my mom's recipe,

but it's guaranteed
to cure what ails you.

That jerk you brought home
last night stole your watch?

Just have a slice
of Mom's lasagna.

The war in Vietnam got you down?

Just taste that
smooth ricotta cheese.

How you doing today?

Like some Mom's
lasagna will hit the spot.

Hooray. It's a garden mix.

There's fresh tomatoes, zucchini,
carrots, peas, plenty of herbs,

and I add a healthy sprinkling
of Mary Jane's magic earth.

"Mary Jane's magic earth"?

No recipe is
complete without it.

There's marijuana
in here? It's mellow.

Nothing like the Blue de hue I
had at my friend Randy's pig roast.

You know I'm a cop.

Then you must get
the really good stuff.

There's something I've
been meaning to ask.

What you said the other
day about sending messages

back to loved ones
through the clouds?

Yeah.

Well, do the clouds
ever respond?

Nope. It's just a one-way thing.
I never hear from the clouds.

But the stars,
they won't shut up.

My mom, my dad, my brother
Gregory, my best friend Lolly,

they all send their love
to me through the stars.

Because the stars speak
for the lonely blue hearts,

and lonely blue
hearts tell the truth.

I've got to run. Enjoy the las.

And don't forget,
we've still got to dance.

As they say in New Orleans,

bayou.

There he is, fellas.

Great.

There he is.

We should string him up from the
rafters by his sneaky little rat tail.

What's going on?
"What's going on?"

Look at him play possum now.

Rats, possums? What did I
tell you about analogies, Ray?

The Lieut just got off
the phone with Crocker.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Nice work, Tyler.
Yeah. Way to go, buddy.

Unbelievable, huh?

Did you really think it
wouldn't get back to me?

Good luck. MAN 1:
Yeah, tell me about it.

Listen, Bob, did you get my e-mail
about the forensics report for DNA?

Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It's right here.

Real.

Unreal.

Real.

Print it out, would you?

Unreal.

Sam, June's awake. Are you okay?

They're not real.

What are you talking about?

The reason why I can't track
down the cops working with Trent

isn't because Hunt's
been stonewalling.

It's because they don't exist.

Sam, you're not
making any sense.

The cops from the
check-cashing robberies,

they're impersonators.

Impersonators?

They're not real cops.

So the sawbone says you're gonna
be right as rain in no time. Okay?

Yeah. I'm still not
clear what happened.

What happened was I took
care of the guy that did this to you.

Shot him dead.

Who?

Kim Trent.

Did you know Kim Trent?

No.

But you cleaned
his cell of vomit.

Remember?

What were you doing
outside AAA Money, June?

What's wrong with you?

June seems emotional.

Of course she's
emotional. She was shot.

That's not the kind of
emotional I'm talking about.

Hey, hey!

Look at her.

Kim's dead?

Yeah, he died on the scene
from a gunshot wound to the chest.

That's why you were
there with the police radio.

You weren't
responding to the call

'cause you were already there as
the lookout and the getaway driver.

No. I just got the radio.

For Kim?

Yes. I mean, no.

Kim loves me.

It took a while, but
we found each other.

We hadn't seen each other
since high school in Yonkers,

and then there he was,
outside of the precinct.

And he looked me up.
That's the kind of guy he was.

And you fed him information.

Kim's gone, June. It's time to
start worrying about yourself.

I told Kim things, who was
working where and when.

Eventually I was able
to pinch some uniforms

and some dupe shields.

No one noticed. No one ever
noticed. Nobody noticed me except Kim.

And the radio message that called
off Chris and Ray, that was you?

Yes.

I thought you always wanted
to join me on the Bureau.

And be like you?

Taking the same
crap, day after day?

You're fooling yourself

if you ever think they'll
accept you as one of them.

Junie, you know who
was fooling themselves?

This...

Listen to me.

I know what it feels
like to be alone.

It's like someone's stolen away

the one thing in the world
you cared most about.

Well, it happened to me, too.

The universe
knocked me sideways,

and took away everything and
everyone I ever cared about.

You and me,

we have the same
lonely blue heart, June.

Yeah. I guess I do
have a lonely blue heart.

Yeah.

Kim told me things.

He was working with two guys,

Dax Benson and Freddy Gerard.

Okay. Do you know
where we can find them?

I promised Kim I
wouldn't say anything.

June. June, I'm
sorry, but it wasn't real.

What you think you had
with Trent was not real.

You're protecting the same man
who put you in this hospital bed.

He's killed four innocent
people. Do you understand?

It's time to tell us everything.

'Cause lonely blue
hearts tell the truth.

Get down!

Police! Don't move!

You are surrounded
by armed bastards.

Down, down.

On the deck.

Dax Benson! Hold it right there.

Put your feet on the ground.
Put your hands on your head.

You are under arrest.

Just in time, boys. Drop it.

No, no, no, no!

I'm on the job!
I'm a cop! He's not!

I'm real, he's not! Get off me!

Real cops don't run away.

Lieutenant Gene Hunt, 1-2-5.

Kindly get off of my man.

Shut up.

Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Move.

This is why Trent's crew hit so
many check cashing stores so quick.

They needed cash 'cause
there was a shipment on the way.

You, too, let's go.

You got no rights. Get in there.

Heroin.

Yahtzee!

And lots of it.

Move over. Come on.

All right, step up.

You did good, Tyler.

But next time you start
having words with an ADA,

you make damn sure
I know ahead of time.

See you tomorrow, boss.

We'll be out of here in five.

Once again, you walk into
the space I was headed for.

You and I are not
gonna get along, are we?

Nope.

Eventually, I will burn you down

and I will bag your ashes and I
will bury your ashes in the yard

where my big dog craps big crap.

Anyway, wow. I
asked you for help.

You made me out to be a rat.

It wasn't like that.

Gene has a way of doing things.

I have a way of
dealing with him.

It's nothing personal.

Sam, he's right. It's
complicated dealing with Hunt.

You of all people
should know that.

What's that?

Well, Lee got us
tickets to see Grease.

You know, it's been
playing for a year,

and I've been
dying to see it, so...

"Summer loving had me a blast"

I got a dinner to get
to. See you later, Annie.

Sam.

You okay, Sam?

Yeah. Fine.

Sam?

You're a good cop, Sam.

There's less heroin on the
street 'cause you're in the 1-2-5.

And that is very real.

Good night, Annie.

Good night, Sam.

I miss you, too, baby.

I miss you, too,

from the bottom of
my lonely blue heart.

Time to dance, 2B.

♪ In a deep and dark December

♪ I am alone

♪ Gazing from my
window to the streets below

♪ On a freshly fallen
silent shroud of snow

♪ I am a rock I am an island

♪ I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain

♪ It's laughter and
it's loving I disdain

♪ I am a rock I am an island

♪ And a rock feels no pain

♪ And an island never cries ♪