All language subtitles for Without.Men.2011.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

♪

(Gordon Smith) Different?

Ok now, what do
you mean different?

Do you understand
what I'm doing here?

I am covering a war...
that's blood, guts, carnage,

men, guns... there is
nothing different.

(Victoria) Listen, how
about I send you down to

Cuba and you can cover
Castro's colonoscopy?

Huh. Huh!
That would be different.

Woooh!! Or let's see if
you can tell the difference

between a
journalist who is oooohhh!!

employed and
oohh! unemployed...ok?

(panting)

What kind of story do
you want me to write?

Look, I need money, okay?

I need money for the Latin
shitholes I'm staying in.

I need money to get a ticket
back to mi casa. Comprende?

No, you listen to me, amigo.
I'm the one who puts that roof

over your head, so your casa
is actually mi casa, got it?

Ooohh!

(John) I've heard your phone
call. You need a story? Here.

I paid two flans for
it, but I can't read.

Can you read it to me?

I don't have time to read
a bedtime story, kid.

Well maybe this story
will help you buy a

room in a Latin shithole.

(Padre Rafael) My name is
father Rafael. This is my diary.

♪

Life here in Mariquita
is wonderful.

We are no different than
many small villages.

We have a church,

a brothel, and a
cow named Parastraika.

There are barely
enough sins to keep the

house of God in business.

We have many beautiful
women in our village.

And there are days,
let's just say,

when wearing a baggy
polyester robe comes in handy.

The men of our village
are definitely not macho.

Well... as long as the
women remember their place.

Although there is one woman,
Rosalba Rodriguez Ramirez

Ola de Valdez, who let's
just say, likes to keep

things under control.
Everybody in town thought she

would be the last woman to get
married. I can't imagine why...

(Rosalba) Will you let your
wife manage the family budget?

Did you go to school?

How often do you bathe?

(Campo Elias) I would
like to be a police officer

if I can get over
my fear of dying.

I own a TV, I do not
need to go to school,

I bathe every
Mondays and Fridays.

Yes, I would allow my
wife to manage the budget

if she is as
beautiful as you are.

Just a police officer?

You could be a sergeant
or even a mayor!

Life in Mariquita was like
one big happy quinceañera.

But as in any fairy tale,
all it takes is a couple of

revolutionaries, with really
bad manners to ruin everything.

(Camacho) Viva la revolucion!

Friends, we are
the people's army.

We ask that you join us,
help us free your country

from the imperialism.

♪

(gun shots)

Ooohh!!

There's only room
for one, I'm sorry.

But they could kill me!

Yes, but I am more important
for the town, mamita.

Oh, um...in case
something happens to you,

I want you to know that I have
always loved you very much,

and... yes... I did
sleep with Ubaldina,

because she was sweet to me.

What can I say, amor? You are just a little
bossy sometimes.

Buena suerte!

Where's the mayor, señora?

Aaahh!

Look, I am going to take
somebody's life here today.

Is up to you which one it is.

Ah!

Quack!

(gun shot)

(Camacho) Everybody over the
age of twelve with a pair of

balls between their legs must
join the revolution today.

(Magnolia) Turn around.

Put this on, Julio.
Put this on.

Ven Julio, cierra los ojos.

(Camacho) Buenas
tardes, señoritas.

Buenas tardes comandante.

Are there any men
in the house?

No...sir...God has blessed us
with only two beautiful girls.

What's your name, bonita?

Julia...
she's mute.

♪

(agonized shouting)

(crying)

(crying)

Is any of this even true?

Priests always tell the truth.

Hah, who told you that?

Keep going...what happened then?

(sighs)

Women were lost.

Without their men,
they didn't know...

(Rafael)... they didn't
know how to be women.

(church bell)

But if they need
help remembering,

I will be there to assist.

♪

Rosalba decided she was
going to be the man...

the woman... the man-woman
and everything in between.

(Magnolia) Don't look at
me, that's a man's job.

I'm not picking up the trash.

A man, man...
ugh.

(Cecilia) Women shouldn't
fix power sockets...

or toilets.

Ubaldina!

Uba!
Where is my milk?

(Ubaldina) I have
not milk her yet...

ooh, maybe I should send
you some of my dresses,

you... surely need them.

Padre... when is the next mass?

Rosalba... God is
available 24/7...

but no one is
coming to church...

the women aren't sinning.

♪

Good evening, I'm
General Ibarra.

I'm here to analyze the damage.

All the men,
step forward...

Where are the men?

(Virgelina) There are no men.

Who's going to
provide us with food?

Or fix the electricity,
or take out the trash?

What are we supposed to do?

We don't have any men
to tell us what to do.

Who is going to give
us money for shopping?

(General Ibarra) What this town
needs... is a strong leader.

How can we have a strong
leader without a strong man?

(Rosalba) What about me?

What about you?

Why don't I become mayor?

(Ubaldina) You don't know
anything about ruling, pendeja.

I know how to give
orders and point fingers.

All women know how
to point fingers.

My husband was the mayor.

It's just for a little while,

until the government
can send a man to rule.

It's either me, or madness.

Take the job.

Vamonos.

I promise to send men
soon... buenas noches.

♪

You would think a town
without sin would be great

news for a priest. But Rosalba
was about to make up for all

the sins that weren't being
committed... God help us all.

Is it true that you want me
to be your assistant mayor?

Cuz my herbalist store has
less and less customers.

Now that men are gone,
no one is wounded,

no one needs condoms,
and women take less aspirins.

Yes. I am going to
need an assistant.

I am going to
transform this town.

(pandemonium)

Ladies, ladies... please.

Ladies, please.
Ladies please, please.

Look, the men will
be back soon enough.

Until then, just do as I say.

Why?

Because I say so.

Are you sure you can
handle this job like a man?

If a man can do
this job, so can I.

There is no such
thing as a weaker sex.

Remember, vaginas can take
more pain than penises.

(gasps)

What would a man do?

(Western music)

(Rafael) Everything
was perfect in our peaceful

little village, until
the day the devil arrived.

I knew it was him, because
he was disguised as a she.

And being a man of the cloth, I
could see right past his C-cups.

And I knew it was El Diablo.

(Cleotilde) I'm in heaven.

Buenas.

I'm señorita Cleotilde
Guarnizo, at your service.

I'm looking for a job
and place to stay...

indefinitely.

I don't think you'd
like to stay here.

We're private people.
We have our ways.

Well, I can make
delicious tortillas,

and give infallible
confidence classes.

I don't know what
"infallible" means but I guess

I can use more confidence.
You could stay in my son's

empty room if you don't
mind my chickens. Fidel...

... y Castro

Aside from feminists, are
you ladies communists as well?

Huh?

Don't you just love to
read before going to bed?

I don't know how
to read or write.

We don't need no education.
What for? We are women.

The school has been
closed since men left.

They even took our
teacher, señora.

Señorita.
Never been married.

Every man I ever met was a pig.

Well, there are no men here.

They are all either
dead or gone.

Well, that's wonderful.

Terrible...

but wonderful.

(Western music)

Can I help you?

You?

Ha... no,
no I don't think so.

I wanna speak to the
Mayor, not the maid.

I the Mayor.

Have you ever been a
teacher, Señora Cleotilde?

Señorita.

After spending almost
twenty years in chastity,

one likes to be acknowledged
with the proper title.

Very impressive
credentials for one year.

Military, surfer... circus?

But what did you do before?

I'm afraid that
for personal reasons,

I won't be able to
answer that question.

Well, there's no doubt you're
capable of doing the job.

But, who are you?
Where are you from?

Do you have any relatives?
Do you wax or shave?

Are you a hemaphrodite?
What do you do?

Do you have anyone else
to do the job, Mayor.

Maybe I do...

Actually, I don't.

♪

Any questions?

Ladies...

girls? Come on!

I bet I know more
about men than you do.

(giggling)

Name, please.

La Gringa.

That's what they call
me in the brothel.

How can a brothel
run without men?

Yeah, that's why we're here.

We're bored.

♪

It's been two
months, thirteen days

and six hours since
our last client. (whines)

(Lucrecia) Well since
you have nothing to do,

let's get properly trained
for when the men come back.

Now remember,
in the pleasure business,

you're never too old
to learn something new.

Unique sexual positions,
but also personal pleasure.

Aahh!

So what you are going to do...
is you're going to contract

your muscles inside your cuchis,
ok? And you're gonna squeeze!

I call this, the "boa."

Ladies!

(gasps)

(moaning)

Now... let's go to our clitoris.

Right here.

Right here on top.

Oh yes, that is the most
tender part of your body.

So if you know
how to play with it,

you yourself will take
you straight to the moon.

I call it my happiness button.

♪

(phone rings)

(Victoria) Yes,
Gordon I got your text.

Man eating Amazon
women, really Gordon?

Tell me something, are you
doing mushrooms down there?

I want that story by Sunday.

Boss, you're killing me.

Now I've only got three days
to find the feminist town.

Just make it happen, alright? Because if
you don't,

I'm going to dedicate
the cover story to...

the Presidential elections
in... Where you're from?

(Guy) Honduras.

Honduras.

Nobody cares who the next
President of Honduras is.

Hello? Hello?

Would you please stop
hanging up on me?

Mayor, we must discuss the
pressing need for procreation.

Procreation?

But that's not really one of our
basic needs right now, Padre.

We need to focus on electricity
and cleaning up the streets.

But it is our obligation to God

to ensure the
survival of our people.

Yes, I know... that is
why I have asked the

Lord for a truck full of men.

The road is blocked.
You may never see the

postman again,
let alone any other males.

You're right.

First things first.

We have to start getting
the women of the village to

start having baby boys. That
way the village will survive.

Have faith.

In the name of the father,
the son, and of the holy spirit.

Dear Lord, show us the
way... we besiege thee.

What?

No, Lord.

With all due respect,
my sweet Lord, no.

I can't.

I can't.

I won't, I can't, I won't.
Lord, I cannot.

Lord I cannot. I cannot, I
cannot, I cannot, I cannot,

I cannot, I won't, I won't,
I won't, God, I won't.

Lord, you have
sacrificed so much.

I will bear that cross.

I am your humble servant God,
and if it is your will,

then I will do it.

I will do it.

No, no, no no no no no, padre.

You are the embodiment of
morality in our community.

This is not my idea.

This is his idea.

The Lord, it is his
will... or... her will.

Why don't we ask God to

miraculously get us
all pregnant? Yes?

If there is no village,
there is no mayor.

You need these baby boys.

It is divine will.

I heard God's voice
loud and clear.

(church bells)

Ladies and...

ladies.

Our town is in danger of
disappearing if we do not

reproduce. But there is hope.

Padre Rafael is willing to
break his holy vow of chastity

in order to help us stay alive.

I would be willing to risk
spending a much longer

time in purgatory...
just to serve you.

Ay padrecito... and
how will you serve us? Hmm?

The procreation
campaign consists of

impregnating twenty women.

And we would pray that
some of the newborns

would hopefully be males.

That's absurd!

That's great!

You don't even have a
uterus... please, I mean...

Only women under forty
will be accepted.

That is not fair, what about me?
I like to "ciquie chiquie" too.

Ay mama...

What?

The participants should
expect a visitation.

What kind of visitation?

A divine visitation.

And out of respect to God,
you are to remove all religious

images from the place where the
holy act will be consummated.

No feelings involved.

You will not be making
love to Padre Rafael.

You will be making love to God.

(thunder)

The body of Christ.

Amen.

Body of Christ.

Amen.

Body of Christ.

Amen.

Body of Christ.

Amen.

Ma, do I really have to
do it for the first time

with a priest?

Yes.

Your first sexual experience
should be meticulously planned,

leaving no room for impulse,
intuition, and sudden passion.

Do you mean like when
I stroke my nipples,

and it feels like a
colony of ants marching?

I've never felt
a colony of ants.

I bet father Rafael
is not a good lover.

Sounds like my husband.

God rest his soul.

When are you doing
it with the priest?

Me? I am not doing
it with the priest.

You are going to do it for me.

Me?

But I haven't done it since
my husband passed away,

five years, eleven months
and seven days ago.

Do you remember all
the steps, mijita?

Not again mami, come on...

What steps?

Step One,
Un beso on the lips.

But then put your
tongue inside his mouth

and move it in circles.

Step two, grab his hands
and put them on both

your beautiful and sweet lemons.

Step three, check out
if he is excited.

You know, touch him down there
and if it is as flaccid as a

flan, touch him some more until
he is as hard as a chicken bone.

♪

I'm a virgin.

I would expect nothing less
from you, my little angel.

I always wanted to
sleep with the angels.

I'm not gonna put my tongue in
your mouth, I'm too religious.

It's not your tongue in my mouth
or my tongue in your mouth.

It's God's tongue in our mouths.

Ok.

Behold, this is a man.

Where am I?

Where am I?

Oh... is that?
Is that?

Is that? Is that?

Do you like it?
Do you like it?

Father, can I make
some adjustments?

Yeah...

Ok.

This is better, right?

Oh forgive me Father,
cuz I'm sinning!

Yes! I feel it! I feel it!

I feel it!
I feel it!

Mami, mami!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

God likes this!

Your vagina is like a bird trap!

Cramp!

I got a cramp.

Two hundred
seventy-three holy visitations

were performed
without God's luck.

None of the women got
pregnant from Dios.

The rebels were shooting bullets
and I was shooting blanks.

Hola padre, I'm
ready for my duty.

My member doesn't
obey the Lord anymore.

Even God rested
on the 7th day.

But what about our
holy visitations?

It will not rise to the heavens.

When God stopped
pimping me out...

the natives grew restless.

You used us!

If you can't make love or
babies, what is the use of men?

You can't serve us father...

And I've slept with a thousand
men, but I haven't lied.

I gave you my cherry.

I taught you my
personal Kama Sutra.

And I didn't even
charge you on Sunday!

Ladies, ladies, the bible
says patience is a virtue...

(Magnolia) Oh come on!
Nobody understands that book.

I want a book that doesn't
disgrace a man who loves a man.

Or women who love women.

I see what's going on here...

you guys are all
on your periods!

(gasps)

♪

(Gordon) God abandoned
me and they abandoned God.

And this is how the story
of these crazy women ends.

Aw, come on.
No, no, no, no.

No, it can't end there, kid,

it can't end there, there's
gotta be more to the story!

Hey! Kid!
There's gotta be more!

Hey... mister, hold
on, hold on a second.

That's my diary.

You are
padre Rafael...

Yes, I'm padre Rafael.

I'm sorry,
this belongs to me.

So everything in this
story is, is true?

Yes it's true!
Can you believe it?

A place ruled by
savage amazon women?

They can't even make
little baby boys!

Sounds like a front page story
to me, come on, come on...

(Rafael) I still know
what's going on in Mariquita.

God tells me everything.
Even the good gossip.

We need a new mayor...

Yeah, yeah, Rosalba, Rosalba
hasn't done a darn thing.

We have no electricity...

And there's no more men...

And my flower is dry...

Ok, calm down!
Everybody, calm down!

Ok. I am leaving.
Let's go girls!

♪

I wish there was a man here.

Wait!

Wait... Stop!

Stop, stop, stop!

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, stop! Stop! Stop!

We should keep moving.

I will be brief.

Wouldn't it be wonderful
to live together as equals?

No!

Fine! Then go to hell,
all of you.

With your scrawny chickens
and your stinky cow.

Bitches!

You really think,
behind those mountains,

you are going to
find a paradise?

Without violence and poverty?

A place like that, we have
to create for ourselves.

(Ubaldina) Ah! I cannot
believe she called us bitches!

I guess it's better to share her
milk than to lose my vaca...

All I really need is five
eggs for me and my sister.

The rest we can share.

Who knows? If we
stop eating meat,

we might even
lose some weight.

Si... try...

♪

That's my chicken.
Give it to me.

No. They're my chickens!

The clock stopped?

Huh... I hope it's not a sign.

Now, you just need
the help of someone...

how should I put it?

More qualified in stuff
you are not qualified...

join forces so to speak.

Like who?

Cleo...

Estas loca?

I am not joining
forces with that woman!

(knocking)

Cecilia told me you
wanted to see me, mayor?

Oh she did?

Do you think the clocks stopped
because of the lack of men?

Well, that makes sense.

The male concept of time
is about productivity

and counting achievements.

I want to create
the female concept of time.

We could call it...

"The female concept of time."

What kind of time is that?

I have no idea.

(gasp)

Menstruation, what
about menstruation?

I mean, that's an exclusive
female condition.

Yes... We can have a
menstruation calendar.

Instead of 30 days,
we will have 28 suns.

And every 28 suns a
woman has to have a goal,

or something she
wants to improve...

Or a flaw she
wants to eliminate.

I wish I was stronger.

But... you are the
strongest person in town.

I wish I could smile more.

You should... you have
a beautiful smile.

I should leave, mayor.

What? No, you have to stay.

We have to figure
out how it all works.

Oh and...

you can call me Rosalba.

Ok... Rosalba.

♪

(Rafael) The women's
first call was to

collect all the animals
for a communal farm.

Rosalba insisted that
Ubaldina share her cow.

Afterall, Rosalba had to
share her husband, the pig.

They cultivated lemons all
summer, they used then for food,

drink and to highlight
their hair, who knew?

The women decided to
make love, not war.

War was invented by men.

Huh... isn't nagging
a type if warfare?

They would have the
cleanest of all villages,

everyone would
be required to work.

Even if it's not
on their backs...

How many women does it
take to change a lightbulb?

In their new
utopia, only one...

Aaahh!!

Ow!

Ok, maybe two might
be a better idea.

Ow!!

(Cleotilde) No one said
it was going to be easy.

No one said it was
going to be this hard.

Ow!!

(Rafael) Female time?

I guess that means everyone
is going to late from now on.

(Victoria) Oh for God's sakes...
this better be good, Gordon.

Don't fire me yet boss. I got it. Front
page all the way.

A town of women
in a land of men.

Women in a land
full of men? Jesus,

that's my whole career! I've
been there and I've done that!

Boss, listen to me.

Whatever you are doing now isn't
important, listen to me...

It's not a metaphor, the
priest told me it's real!

I would like you
to bring me that story

and to get your ass back
here as soon as you can.

Impressive...

It's just going to need
a little more contrast.

Padre!
Come on, let's go.

You're gonna take
me to this town!

No Gordon, you're going
to have to go on your own.

I'm not going back
to those bitches.

I told you, that town is full of
filthy, ferocious she-devils.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I read the diary.

They're crazy amazon,
cannibalistic, man-hating women.

I need you to take me there.

No.

How about for four tacos?

No.

How 'bout pesos?
You want pesos?

You Americans, with your hot
pockets and your Larry King.

I'm not going no matter how
much dinero you give me, Gordon.

Those women eat men like
you and me for dinner.

Can you at least make me a map?

Yes.

How many pesos did
you say you had left?

♪

Señorita Cleotilde, why are
you walking around half naked?

It took thousands of
generations for the female

body to reach perfection.

Why hide it?

You know, I could,
I could penalize

you for your public nudity!

Yeah? Why don't you?

I should.

You know, don't you think that
some parts of the female body

should be covered, if only
because they are sensitive?

Being fully dressed
feels not natural.

After all, we're
all women, right?

It's just us.

♪

Put your
clothes back on!

♪

Hello mayor...

Mayor... you look
very nice, mayor.

Mayor, you
finally joined us.

You have nice
tanned skin, mayor.

You have beautiful
moles all over your body,

all in the right
places, it seems.

Do you have any moles
hidden somewhere?

Oh... I have a mole here.

And... I think I see one here.

Oohh!

Your body puts the morning
sky to shame, mayor.

You think so?

You don't think I'm a little
bit too masculine or bossy?

No... I think you're beautiful.

You have another mole...
here.

And one on your breast.

♪

(scream)

Oh Ceci, I have a
question for you...

Let's pretend you have
feelings for someone, anyone

really, and those feelings
are of the unnatural kind.

You have feelings for
Cleotilde, don't you?

I do.

I've never felt
this for a woman.

That was before I saw
Cleotilde's breasts.

Those breasts should appear on
our flag in the coat of arms.

Cleotilde seems like a
very passionate woman.

First, send her a poem written
on a perfumed piece of paper.

Second, and most important,
don't tell anyone.

♪

I wonder what it's like to be
in love with another woman...

do you think it's wrong?

Love can never be wrong.

Just like hate can
never be right.

Cecilia and I are madly in love.

One sun, I was untangling
Cecilia's hair when a piece of

the comb accidentally broke
off and fell into her bosom.

We made some silly
joke about it, (panting)

and then she dared me to
go in there and retrieve it.

I said sure, but only if I
could do it with my teeth.

We've been together ever since.

Hey!

Wake up!

(gasp)

The Mayor told me
to hand you this.

The mayor?

"A poem dedicated to the very
graceful Cleotilde Guarnizo.

Your charms have defeated me,
señorita, I need to know,

do you love me, do you love
me, as much as I love you?

Please say you do.
Yours faithfully, Rosalba,

widow of the unfaithful
lying dog Campo Elias.

(Ubalinda) You know,
I thought about--

like yours, but, um,
where should I get it?

I cannot compete with
the beauty of women like

Ubaldina Rosales de Sanchez.

I cannot control the
speed of my heart.

And I've never felt
this unbalanced.

What if she doesn't like
me the way I like her?

Hi.

Huh?

Shouldn't you be
writing your goals?

I came to give you this.
It's from Cleotilde,

Mayor, but I swear I
don't know what it says.

Ok, well, I don't have
time to read this right now.

We are working on our
goals... so should you.

I will.

Goals.

"This poem is dedicated with
all my heart to the always

jovial Rosalba, beautiful Mayor
of the village of Mariquita.

Ooohh!!

Last night, I dreamt
of your kisses.

Your kisses were so sweet,
that when I opened my eyes,

I found sugar on my lips. I
can't wait until night falls,

hence I'm going to take
a nap. Meet me at the river.

Very truly yours,
señorita Cleotilde Guarnizo,

identity card
number 79-454-248."

She likes me.

Of course she likes me.

I may have a big behind but
I also have a big heart.

♪

Get in the water, mayor.
It's nice and warm.

Hello...

Come on mayor... come on!

♪

On the count of three
we dive in, ok. Ready?

No, no no no, no.

We only live once, dive in!

♪

Honey...

tonight we are supposed
to announce our goals.

I plan to announce that
you and I are in love.

Magnolia, we've talked about
this before, haven't we?

What ever happens in this
house is nobody's business.

You're such a follower.
Always in the Mayor's shadow.

Why don't you do what you want? You
can be a leader too.

If you tell our secret to
anyone, you'll regret it.

I'm warning you.

I told Cleotilde.

How dare you tell her
after I told you not to?

Magnolia Francisca
Morales Rodriguez,

you betrayed my trust.
I will never forgive you.

I will never, ever rub
your dirty feet again.

Good!

You're a lousy
rubber, anyway!

Mayor, do you think it would
be possible that I take

a more leading position?

I used to be a nurse,
but I can be a doctor.

Ceci, Anything is possible.

You do it.

(cheering)

♪

When we created the female time,
we proposed that women should

find something about themselves
that they wanted to change.

But also to celebrate the things
they love most about themselves.

If there is one thing us women
know how to do, it is to love.

We love unconditionally, we love
foolishly, we love blindly.

I want to say, I am in
love with Cleotilde!

(gasps)

And I am in love with Rosalba!

(cheering)

I am in love with Cecilia!

Emmm... I' in love
with Magnolia...

And La Gringa and I...

are in love!

No gross, no way...

♪

What do you smell, Hermanita?

What is it?

"I smell a robust, slightly
acidic mixture of minerals,

salts, perspiration, and musk. large
amounts of musk.

I smell a man."

♪

I think he is mute.

No, no. I'm not...
I'm not mute.

(gasps)

That's too bad...

Who are you?

Ahhh... my name is Gordon Smith.

He's so dirty!

Take off your clothes...

I could give
him a tongue bath...

Don't get exited, we want to
wash you, you smell like a man!

Who sent you Mr. Gordon?

Sent me? No, no,
no, nobody sent me.

I'm a journalist. I'm a...

I heard about a story
about a town of Amazon, giant

women that found some way
to impregnate themselves...

What do you want?

I want to write a
story about you.

Do you mind stepping outside
while we discuss your presence?

Sure... yeah, yeah...

Julia Morales is going
to eat him alive...

I'll... I'll stay here...

She doesn't mean it that way.

I assure you, we do
not feast on humans.

(rooster crows)

Señoritas, por favor! Basta!

(Girl) Bitch!

Señor Gordon, you have
caused total disorder.

I'm going to have to ask
you to leave, but it's going

to be dark soon...
you can leave in the morning.

The ladies will attend
to whatever you need.

♪

(Woman) I bet he tastes
sweet like flan!

Men might be the enemy but we
love some of those enemies...

Ahhh... Mr Gordon
is the only real man

we've seen in such a long time.

We don't want
to look like whores,

we want to feel like whores.

Aya yay...

I'm clearly into men.

Señoritas, don't let our
peace be destroyed by your

hormones. No one
is to talk to him.

If he writes about us,
he is going to ruin us.

So... who's going to
sleep with him first?

Hi.

Hey.

You were interviewing
rebels... ummm...

I was wondering if
you came across my son...

his name is
Angel Alberto Albaca.

He's short, he has
beautiful eyes...

I thought all of you
didn't want any men here...

We want the men we love...

I'll do everything
I can to find him.

Oh... gracias!

Buenos dias...

Buenos dias, Mayor.

Ah, so this
is a church,

I don't see any statutes of God.

God is not in stiff things.

It is in land,
plantas, animales.

We have decided
not to talk to you.

Good luck.

Mayor, listen...
I'm not your typical gringo.

What kind of gringo are you?

I'm the kind who thinks what
you're doing here is amazing.

Tell me Mr. Gordon, what do you
expect to get from this story?

Fortune and glory...
a Pulitzer...

Respect.

Well... with regards to respect,

I believe we want
the same thing.

Who knew that a
man and a woman could

actually want the same thing?

No...

I believe you men want to
prove something to the world.

Make your mark.

Why don't you just try to
prove something to yourself?

You know, you could
be an example of what's

possible for women
everywhere, you know,

start building
towns, free of men.

You could become
a part of history.

I could make you
a part of history.

Come on...
sit down.

Your story needs to be told.

Ok.

I don't even know
where to begin...

Why did you talk to him?

He told me we can
lead by our example.

We can change what
divides the world.

That article is gonna make
tourists want to observe us,

like rare animals on safari.

This isn't about him.

I saw the way you look at him.

What do you mean?

Maybe you still like men.

Here...

Take me with you.

I lost my virginity to the holy
spirit and I'm ready for more!

Yeah... I was going to
show you the boa...

I'm flattered ladies, but
ah... I really do have to go.

Oohh!

Well, you don't know what
you're missing, Mr. Gordon.

Yeah.

Adios...

Señor Gordon, I don't
think you should write

the article about this town.

I'm sorry, I have a job I have
to do, I don't wanna get fired.

I earned respect,
and so can you.

How?

Just look in the mirror.

I can't.

I'm sorry. I've got a
story I've got to file.

Do it for us!

I'll think about it.

♪

(Rafael) The gringo
left flowers and tampons

and perfume behind.
He went back to the land of men,

but God still needed
him for his master plan.

Psst!

Psst!

(Angel) Are you a ghost?

(Campo) Shhh...
just pretend to be dead,

that way we will
be free from the war.

I thought they killed
you... Back in the town.

Yes, I pretended to be dead, even to my
wife to escape,

but the rebels caught me sneezing...
(sneeze)

Someone's coming!

We're trying to
find out home Mariquita,

do you know where it is?

I might.

My mother...
is there... Cecilia.

Please...

I can't go back, but I
can give you the map.

(voices)

Cleo! Cleo wake up!
Wake up, I hear voices...

Go back to sleep...
and I'm still mad at you.

Male voices.

Rosalba?

Campo...

Angel!

Mama!

Ay! Ay! Jacinto
Jimenez, is that you?

(Jacinto) Mi amor!

I am back!

Take again my post as mayor.

I am mayor now.

You're back!

We thought you were...

I'm mentally unsound.
But hey, I'm alive.

(laughs)

I will keep you safe.

This town has been
safe without you.

Rosalba! If you
walk away, I will have

to arrest you for not
following the mayor's orders.

Where are the other men?

I have no idea.

Son?

This is my new girlfriend.

You do remember Magnolia,
your baby sitter, don't you?

You are dating my nanny, mami?

♪

Sexy!

Are these the only
clean clothes you have?

Now you can feel what
is like to wear a dress.

Do we have to sleep here until
you women decide what to do?

Buenas noches...

Oyeme bien...

I'd rather go back to the city, where the
womens obey the men.

Like everywhere
else in the world.

I feel castrated.

Those men aren't
staying forever right?

You might want them gone
but I want my son near me.

Are they gonna start
charging us for sex?

The should cook for us now.

Now that we are in
power, we have to defend

our female rights
with our ovarios...

No! What about
defending men's rights?

(all shouting)

Ok! Ok!
Wait! Wait!

What happened with resolving
conflict the female way?

Without violence.
What do we women do best?

Ahhh... fuck!

Talk.

Oh, that.

Ladies...

and you.

We're gathered today,
so women and men can

do something very difficult.

Communicate.

Women talk too much.

And men don't listen.

We won't admit anyone unless
he adapts to our peaceful ways.

Here, we're all
leaders and equals.

No, no, no - We all know
that you and I are not equals.

Well, I think that it is
only fair that my properties

and my post be returned to me,
and I also want to get my wife

back, because she is still,
of course, my wife, isn't she?

Or are you ladies going to tell
me that Rosalba also became a...

well, you know...

Well... why don't you
ask her yourself?

Rosalba?

Mamita?

Oh... ok...

you are confused...

The only one confused is you.

Like the time you made love to
me and called me "Ubaldina"?

That is confusing!

I am sorry if I hurt you.

Can you please forgive me?

♪

Rosalba... can we stay?

Why are you asking
for permission?

Jacinto!

Virgelina! Callate!

This is our town!
She belongs to me!

(screaming)

(Cleotilde) Mine
is bigger than yours.

Angel?

You're going to let a bunch of
silly womens bullet you around?

Huh?

Mire este!

And you! Huh? Are you
turning your back on me too?

I owe this woman.

As stubborn and as bossy
as she is, I respect her.

You are traitors!
Traitors!

(gasp)

Que todas son lesbianas! Lesbianas,
lesbianas!

♪

Where the hell is my story?

The town, the women,
our cover story?

You know boss, I was kidding
myself, I mean come on?

A town of women
surviving without men?

It, it's, it's
imposible, crazy,

a fairy tale, a myth, a legend!

Oh my god...

please do not
tell me that you killed

the story to protect them...

Why would I do that?

Wow. That must have been
some really great vagina.

You wanna know
something, Gordon?

Men may have the will,
women will always have the way.

(Rafael) I guess in the
end, Gordon found something

more important than a
story... a conscience.

Hah!

An American with a conscience?

♪

You don't tell them to leave,
I will I have to leave.

I can't do that.

So? What you gonna do?

I have to do what's right.

Well that's...
very unbossy of you.

Ladies... gentleman...

it is time we stop
arguing about who is

stronger, or wiser,
or who is right.

We need to live together
as a society of equals.

We learned to live without you,
but we'd rather live with you.

I want us all to be happy,
more than to be right.

(Rafael) El diablo was defeated.

Life was finally how
God intended it to be.

The mens on one side,
the womens on the other.

♪

Cleo, wait!

Don't leave.

I need to know.

Do you love men or
do you love women?

I love you.

♪

(Rafael) Sure... you think
this story has a happy ending

because Rosalba finally
learned that she didn't

need to control everything...

Virglina and Angel blessed
the village with a baby.

They're not worried if
it's a boy or a girl...

With his second chance,
Campo Elias became a decent,

not lying and cheating
dog of a husband to Ubaldina,

and hopes to be
assistant mayor one day...

as soon as he learns to read.

Julio stopped
having to worry about

squeezing into a size eight...

La Gringa and Lucrecia
adopted four children from

a nearby village
and taught them... biology?

Cecilia learned to lead,
now she might have to learn

no to be so bossy.

Women and men worked
together as long as men

remembered their place.

The peoples of
Mariquita finally chose to

live happily ever after.

Although that didn't mean
that the Lord was not going

to send them a real Savior.

This is not a happy
ending until I say so...

In the name of God,

I am here to absolve
you of your filthy sins.

Are you ready to
receive me, my child?

♪