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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,759 ♪ wistful music ♪ 2 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:10,761 He wanted to be 3 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,178 buried here. 4 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,514 There's a spot, marked on a map. 5 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,723 I know the spot. 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,559 I can't remember his face. 7 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,186 If I were you, I wouldn't listen. 8 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,270 Play it. 9 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,857 Jesus! Fuck, Paul! 10 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,776 - Just hold on. - Christ. 11 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:27,778 Stacy! 12 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,445 Oh, my God. 13 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,740 I heard him die. 14 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,158 As much as I like sitting here, 15 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,993 it hurts more than you'll ever know. 16 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,913 So, if you're wondering how I feel about you, 17 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,705 I feel enough to sit here and take it. 18 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,916 Abby, 19 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,875 if I were you, I would 20 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,044 set my hooks pretty deep in that one. 21 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,256 They're not making any more men like him. 22 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:56,557 I wonder if you know how happy this would make him. 23 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,393 It would fill his heart. 24 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,312 Tomorrow, we bury them. 25 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:09,069 ♪ slow, haunting music ♪ 26 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,013 ♪ music swells ♪ 27 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,236 That's an elk track right there. 28 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,280 Oh. 29 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,074 Oh. Look, there's another one. 30 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,535 No, that's moose. 31 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,787 How can you tell the difference? 32 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,833 If you spend enough time tracking, you just know. 33 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,418 Ah. 34 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:54,758 So, do you have any questions about today? 35 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,593 Like what? 36 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:57,803 I don't know. 37 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,095 Asking you. 38 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,847 Well, you're gonna bury 'em. 39 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,683 We are, mm-hmm. 40 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,851 Then what happens? 41 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,645 Uh, then 42 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,107 they return to the land. 43 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,485 And their bodies become... 44 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,277 a part of it, 45 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,406 um, and their souls, too, 46 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,241 I guess. 47 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,201 They don't go to heaven? 48 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,621 I think this is their heaven. 49 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,708 Heaven is... 50 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,543 Oh, how do I explain this? 51 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,503 - Um... - Our teacher says 52 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,212 there is no heaven. 53 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,965 You know, I don't know if you've already figured this out, 54 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,217 but do not believe everything your teacher says. 55 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,469 Heaven is 56 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,472 your... perfect place. 57 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,433 For some, it's 58 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,227 ice cream oceans and marshmallow mountains. 59 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,312 And... 60 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,817 others, it's these mountains. 61 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,153 Does that make sense? 62 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,489 And Grandpa's heaven is here. 63 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,616 I think so. 64 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:06,537 But if you think he's here, why is everyone so sad he's gone? 65 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,166 Well, his heaven isn't mine, 66 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,834 and... 67 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,502 ...you know, I can't see him 68 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:17,006 and I can't talk to him and can't hug him, 69 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:20,509 and he can't hug me, and I... I miss that. 70 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,303 Yeah. 71 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,930 I miss it, too. 72 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,266 But that's why we have memories. 73 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,603 We can revisit all those times 74 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,771 that we did have. 75 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,232 All the talks, all the laughs, 76 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,233 all the hugs, and... 77 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,321 You know, it's like a movie. We can... 78 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,200 We can play it over and over 79 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,368 as many times as we want, 80 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,370 you know, in our minds. 81 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,705 You know what I mean? 82 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,874 I do. 83 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,419 Not the same, though, as a real hug. 84 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,381 No, it's not the same. 85 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,844 ♪ sentimental music ♪ 86 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,362 Right here, huh? 87 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,947 She marked it on a map. 88 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,157 All right. 89 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,826 Well, we ain't getting a backhoe down here. 90 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,038 Might be able to get a tractor up from the river, but... 91 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,414 ...not sure what good that'll do us. 92 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,918 No, these holes are getting dug the old Irish way. 93 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,254 Yep. 94 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,422 How the hell we gonna get the caskets here? 95 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,051 Swensons still feed off a wagon, don't they? 96 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,719 That's a good idea. 97 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,556 You want to call or run for shovels? 98 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,933 Ah, you call, I'll run. 99 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,519 My gelding's just gonna follow you. 100 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,187 Yank off that bridle. 101 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,188 Yeah. 102 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,400 ♪ gentle music ♪ 103 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,960 I am aware. 104 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,213 Yes, I am aware. 105 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,214 We have had a death in the family. 106 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,550 I'm pretty sure the world of girls' volleyball 107 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,553 will survive the week without her. 108 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,054 Yes, you are correct. 109 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,974 I am not factoring how this affects anyone else 110 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,808 even a little. 111 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,477 Fucking school. 112 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,855 Is this gonna be okay? 113 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,400 It's gonna have to do, honey, it's all you got. 114 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,944 Hey. 115 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,697 It's just us. 116 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,241 Okay? There's nobody to be offended. 117 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,952 What did school say? 118 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,370 You're missing a volleyball tournament. 119 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,416 It's okay. 120 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,501 Hey. 121 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,840 It's okay. 122 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,565 - Hey. - Hey. 123 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,323 Where'd you find cream? 124 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:32,118 Same shopping center where I found the dress. 125 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,120 I got to say, Bozeman impressed me. 126 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,624 I wasn't expecting to find Donna Karan in the mountains. 127 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,209 Found a little something 128 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,962 - for you, too. - Yeah, 129 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,922 Preston would prefer me in jeans. 130 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,675 I think he would find a certain 131 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,635 victory in that. 132 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,970 He deserves a little black dress, 133 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,846 and that's exactly what I got you. 134 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,515 Did the boys say when they would be ready? 135 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,351 They said to walk over at noon. 136 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,102 How are they gonna get them out there? 137 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,230 I didn't ask, and they didn't say. 138 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,066 They just said it was handled. 139 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,569 About two hours. 140 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,405 Preston wrote a chapter on... 141 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,908 telling time from the sun's position. 142 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,746 It's... alarmingly accurate. 143 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,083 The girls asked me to arrange a plane. 144 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,585 When? 145 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,838 Tonight. 146 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,588 Oh... 147 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,756 Okay. 148 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,258 They need closure, honey. 149 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,176 They won't get it here. 150 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,097 They have lives, and they need to go live them. 151 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,224 I would very much like to plan a memorial service. 152 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,518 He has a lot of friends that deserve a way to say goodbye. 153 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,686 Does he? 154 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,313 He does. And you know that. 155 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,733 We could do it at the Explorers Club. 156 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,818 Okay, just... 157 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,487 How about the apartment? 158 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:53,241 Have Carbone cater. 159 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,783 He loved that place. 160 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,828 I already called. 161 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,538 You flying back, too? 162 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,625 I have a very worried husband. 163 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,504 He's convinced some distant cousin of the Unabomber 164 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,963 is going to abduct me 165 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,717 and hold me in his basement for ransom. 166 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,968 Depending on the cousin, I'm not completely opposed. 167 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,636 - Oh, stop. - Of course, that's my 168 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,182 warped romance novel version of abduction. 169 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,475 I doubt that's how it would play out, Lili. 170 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,061 That is how it'd play out in my mind after two Percocets, 171 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,521 so... 172 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,773 You think I'm joking? 173 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,483 - No. - No? 174 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,781 I love you. 175 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,620 There is nowhere I would rather be 176 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,746 than with you when you need me. 177 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,165 I know. 178 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,169 I have a little bottle of Kahlúa 179 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,046 if you would like some lead in that coffee. 180 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:52,050 Oh. Well, now you're talking. 181 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,273 ♪ contemplative music ♪ 182 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,865 Little more, more. 183 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,661 Okay. 184 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,541 Of course you packed the perfect dress. 185 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,133 Is there some little black dress tree 186 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,095 by the river that I am unaware of? 187 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,681 Okay, girls. 188 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,435 And Russell. 189 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,780 ♪ mournful music ♪ 190 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,895 - Where are they? - Uh, coming. 191 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,564 Okay. 192 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,565 I'm sorry. 193 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,525 Thank you. 194 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,986 Sorry for your loss. 195 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,615 - Sorry for the snot. - No, it's fine. 196 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,998 I'm sorrier than you'll ever know. 197 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:30,833 Thank you. 198 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,458 Okay, boys. 199 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,308 Watch your hand. 200 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,444 Mrs. Clyburn, 201 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,906 - I'm very sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 202 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,576 Is a preacher coming? 203 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,956 I forgot. I-I didn't-- I-- 204 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,084 Uh... 205 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,044 this one'll be sans preacher. 206 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,253 What's that mean? 207 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,381 - Means we don't have one. - Oh. 208 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,176 Do you have someone to govern the proceedings? 209 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,553 We, um... 210 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,847 This is my first funeral here, 211 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:54,102 so we're sort of winging it. 212 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,313 Well, this is far from my first rodeo. 213 00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:00,440 Um, do you mind if I say something first 214 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,442 and then give you all a chance to speak? 215 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:06,280 I don't think my group has many speeches in them. 216 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,325 Do you mind a prayer? 217 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,537 I do not. 218 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:25,257 Lord, we stand before You with heavy hearts. 219 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,885 With the glory of love comes the pain of loss, 220 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,471 and we look to You for comfort. 221 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,098 Remind us that 222 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,392 it is a selfish pain 223 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,019 because You have promised a place called Heaven 224 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,774 where our departed bask in the glow of Your grace. 225 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,193 They are no longer men. 226 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,987 They are angels 227 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,155 who guide us through darkness, 228 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:51,199 lift us when we are weak 229 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,494 and nourish our souls and spirits. 230 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,204 Our pain is a selfish pain 231 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,207 because we do not know this place, Heaven. 232 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,627 We lean on our faith 233 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,378 that it exists, 234 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,714 and on Your mercy 235 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,467 that it holds a place for us 236 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:11,304 where we may sit in Your light beside our loved ones 237 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:15,224 and know only joy forever. 238 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,020 Amen. 239 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,273 Uh, if anyone would like a word. 240 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,025 Stacy. 241 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,737 It's not the first time you've given that speech. 242 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,405 No, ma'am. 243 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,074 It's a good one. 244 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,703 You care to say something? 245 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:41,042 I have plenty to say, but I won't be saying it today. 246 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,469 Guess that's it, then. 247 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,471 Um... 248 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,850 So, what happens now? 249 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,227 We'll take care of everything. 250 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,609 Wait, that's it? That's-that's it? 251 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,693 If you have something to say, then say it, Paige. 252 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,445 I-I don't know what to say. 253 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,281 Wh-What are you supposed to say? 254 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,242 I think that's her point. 255 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,580 Which one's Paul? 256 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,134 Goddamn you for taking him from us. 257 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,233 I love you. 258 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:04,166 Everyone deals with it different, don't they, boys? 259 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:08,296 I don't think they're dealing with it at all. 260 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,589 Not yet, anyway. 261 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,341 Who can blame 'em? 262 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,349 ♪ somber music ♪ 263 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,942 Thank you. 264 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,403 Pretty sneaky, trying to have a funeral and not tell anybody. 265 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,863 Oh, I... 266 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,575 I-I didn't know anyone would care. I-- 267 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,993 We let you have the funeral. 268 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,162 We will not be denied our feast. 269 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,541 When they decided 270 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,000 to build these cabins, 271 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,794 they wanted to do it all themselves. 272 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,712 Mill the wood, frame it, 273 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,506 rough in the electric, the whole deal. 274 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,758 Look at the bottom of 'em there. 275 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,843 They're sitting on railroad ties, 276 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,054 and I could not figure out 277 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,180 what in the hell purpose that would serve. 278 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,850 And I told 'em they're gonna be colder than the devil in winter, 279 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,644 and every skunk and raccoon and God knows what else 280 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,480 is gonna set up shop underneath them. 281 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,273 Well, Preston just looked at me and nodded. 282 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,566 Didn't say a word. 283 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,611 About six months later, 284 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,446 tax assessor comes by my place and says, 285 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,240 "Have you seen these cabins they built next door?" 286 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,616 I said I had. 287 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,036 And he asked me if I'd ever seen 'em move. 288 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,706 I said, "Move? What do-what do you mean, move?" 289 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:10,667 Tax assessor says, when he tried to put a value on 'em, 290 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,211 your husband said they was mobile homes. 291 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,964 You pick 'em up with a forklift 292 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,381 and move 'em. 293 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,717 And asked me if I'd ever seen 'em be mobile. 294 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,094 Well, I told him, 295 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,138 "Well, yeah, they haul 'em all over the place." 296 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,515 And if you look at the back of that outhouse, 297 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,309 your husband nailed tires from a shopping cart 298 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,603 and said that son of a bitch was mobile, too. 299 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,858 He did not want to pay any taxes. 300 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,276 I wondered what those were for. 301 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,238 Preston always had issues with authority. 302 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,990 Wheels on the outhouse. Never seen anything like it. 303 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,200 No. 304 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:47,871 Indian tacos. Good stuff. 305 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,247 Want some? 306 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,292 Mm, how about some of those cookies? 307 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,002 Ah. Good choice. 308 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,881 I was thinking, like, three. 309 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,800 What's your mom gonna say about that? 310 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,302 My mom's not gonna say anything 311 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,011 'cause she's not gonna see me eat 'em. 312 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,763 Let's keep this between us. 313 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,850 I think that's a good idea. 314 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,144 ♪ gentle music ♪ 315 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,905 - Thank you for today. - Mm. 316 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,865 It means more than you know. 317 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,869 Someone had to do it for me. I know what it means. 318 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,081 I'm sorry it had to be done. 319 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,291 We're flying out tonight. 320 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,709 Girls have missed enough school, 321 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,211 and I have exhausted my wardrobe. 322 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,380 - Mm. - But... 323 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:43,051 ...I'd like to come back. 324 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,803 Or... 325 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,931 dare I invite you to New York? 326 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,641 Well, the only way 327 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:51,476 you get me to New York is if it seceded from the Union 328 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,229 and I was drafted into the army to take it back. 329 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,230 Okay, you got to go a little easier 330 00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,024 - on my city, buddy. - I'm-I'm... 331 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,191 I'm not knocking it. 332 00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,568 I'm just not going there. 333 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,862 Fair enough. 334 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,572 Then I'll come visit. 335 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,657 Sure. 336 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,077 I mean it. 337 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,080 Okay. 338 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:13,791 I mean it. 339 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,754 Hmm. 340 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,466 I'm a sheriff's deputy who makes $52,000 a year. 341 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,887 I have $12,000 in the bank, and I'm about to spend six of it 342 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,596 on a pretty average rope horse. 343 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,641 Three nights a week, I'm gonna load him in a trailer 344 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,226 and drag him all over Montana 345 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,935 trying to win back what I spent on him. 346 00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,021 In October, I'm gonna take my boys in the mountains 347 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,190 for a month and fill our freezer with elk. 348 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,400 I ain't never laying on no beach. 349 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,944 I'm never going to Europe, 350 00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,447 or San Francisco or any city bigger than Billings. 351 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:47,908 Ever. 352 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,951 What part of that sounds good to you? 353 00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,287 - None of it. - Now, walk me through your life. 354 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,372 What won't you change? 355 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:54,789 I don't have those kind of obstacles. 356 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,959 I-- Just walk me through it. 357 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,548 Macy has gymnastics every morning. 358 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:06,301 From there, I go to Pilates. From Pilates, 359 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,512 I go to my therapist. From my therapist, I go to coffee 360 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,513 with my girlfriends to talk about all the bullshit advice 361 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,307 my therapist gave me. 362 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:15,351 Then I pick up Macy and I get Bridgett and we go to ballet. 363 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,770 We have recitals every Friday night. 364 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,688 Saturday morning, we have competitions. 365 00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,148 - Mm. - I take the girls to St. Barts 366 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,984 for Christmas, Italy for the month of July, 367 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,360 which you would love, 368 00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,572 I will point out. 369 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,161 Who feeds the horses? 370 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,663 Isn't there a service for that? 371 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,874 You have to do it every day? 372 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,043 Okay. 373 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:40,711 Okay, there is no future in this, 374 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,754 but you are tall 375 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,507 and kind and fucking beautiful. 376 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,342 You are tall and kind and beautiful. 377 00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:50,219 Okay. So can we just agree to fuck this up together 378 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,930 and have as much sex 379 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,307 - as possible until... - Jesus. 380 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,391 - until we can't? - Yeah, 381 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:57,186 you city girls do spell it out, don't you? 382 00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:59,188 Yeah, we-we... we get to the point. 383 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:00,772 - Yup, we do. - I go 384 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,066 from wondering when we're gonna see each other 385 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:04,609 to wondering when you're gonna leave. I... 386 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,364 I think I'd rather just miss you. 387 00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:12,701 - I'm not gone yet. - You know what I mean. 388 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:14,870 So is this goodbye? 389 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,374 I think it's best. 390 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:20,000 Oh, wow. 391 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,337 Let me just clarify 392 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:27,883 that you are breaking up with me at my father's funeral. 393 00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,760 We-we aren't together to break up. We-- 394 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,261 No, no, no, we seemed pretty together yesterday when 395 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:32,763 - you were lying on top of me. - Abby, I-- 396 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,973 Don't fucking "Abby" me now. 397 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,266 You want to miss me? 398 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:38,351 Is that what you want? 399 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,061 Here's your fucking chance. 400 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:42,564 ♪ melancholy music ♪ 401 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:05,546 Oh. 402 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,427 It's time to go home, isn't it? 403 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,930 It's been time, honey. 404 00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:52,342 When did your father die, Russell? 405 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:56,679 Um, it'll be, uh, six years in April. 406 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,056 Where is he buried? 407 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,390 Uh, my mother had him cremated. 408 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,267 Yeah, the plan was 409 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,478 to spread his ashes at our place in Montauk, 410 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:06,774 but... never did it. 411 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,358 I don't know why. 412 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:11,945 So, he's sitting in a jar on our mantle, 413 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,073 which is an odd custom. 414 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:17,450 Putting ashes in a jar 415 00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,661 above a fireplace full of ashes. 416 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:22,580 What do you miss most 417 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,708 about him? 418 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:30,838 He used to call me every Monday and, uh, tell me a joke. 419 00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:33,008 - Really? - Mm. 420 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:35,259 You still remember them? 421 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,553 Oh, yeah. 422 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:37,678 Tell me one. 423 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,056 - Oh, no, no, no. - Come on. 424 00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:40,473 Uh, they, um... 425 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,141 Yeah, my father had a, uh, 426 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,143 rather warped sense of humor. 427 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:47,564 Yeah, well, at this point, I'm pretty hard to offend. 428 00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:50,024 Mm. 429 00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:53,528 Okay. 430 00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:54,988 Um... 431 00:26:55,906 --> 00:26:57,865 Okay. 432 00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:00,369 So there are four nuns driving in a van. 433 00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:02,746 And the van goes off a cliff, and they all die. 434 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:05,039 - Funny. - No, no, no, that's... 435 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,250 I'm-I'm getting to the story. This is all just the setup. 436 00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:09,252 - Yeah, I got-I got it, yeah. - Okay. 437 00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:11,212 So they're standing at the pearly gates, 438 00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:14,423 and St. Peter looks them over, and he says to the first nun, 439 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:16,467 "This is your last chance to confess 440 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,803 before you enter the gates of Heaven, 441 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,265 and your conscience must be cleansed before you enter." 442 00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:24,351 So the first nun thinks about it, and she says, 443 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,018 "Well... 444 00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:29,105 I used to sneak peeks at Father Riley in the shower." 445 00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:30,399 - Mm-hmm. - St. Peter says, 446 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:31,859 "Well, you're a naughty one, sister. 447 00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,901 Wash your eyes in this bowl of holy water 448 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,279 and say five Hail Marys." 449 00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,905 She does. Sends her off to Heaven. 450 00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:40,700 So he looks at the second nun, asks her the same thing. 451 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,952 She says, "Well, on occasion, 452 00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:46,415 I would stroke Father Riley's member with my hand." 453 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:49,251 St. Peter just shakes his head, 454 00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:51,420 tells her to wash her hand in the bowl of holy water, 455 00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:52,962 say ten Hail Marys. 456 00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:55,631 So, she does, lets her into Heaven. 457 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:57,301 Now the third nun steps up, 458 00:27:57,426 --> 00:28:00,095 but the fourth nun grabs her, throws her to the ground 459 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,722 and steps up to the bowl of holy water. 460 00:28:01,847 --> 00:28:04,932 St. Peter says, "What on earth are you doing, Sister?" 461 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:07,602 And the nun says, "I'm gonna wash my mouth out in this bowl 462 00:28:07,603 --> 00:28:10,480 before that bitch puts her ass in it." 463 00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:16,444 I stand corrected, Russell. 464 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:18,070 I can still be offended. 465 00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:20,073 That was very poorly chosen. 466 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,074 I'm sorry. It was the first one that came to my mind. 467 00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:23,952 I am so sorry. I... 468 00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:27,330 - It's terrible. - Common denominator 469 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,207 for their problem seems to be Father Riley. 470 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,960 Yeah, he, uh, did get around. 471 00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,045 Ah. What's in it? 472 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:36,632 Vodka soda, easy on the soda. 473 00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:38,591 God bless you. 474 00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:40,259 I'm meeting Stefan at the gym 475 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:42,511 at 9:00, if you're up for it. 476 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:43,930 Oh, yeah. 477 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:46,308 Exercise is exactly what I need. 478 00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:53,315 I see things didn't end well with the cowboy? 479 00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:56,068 Has that look about it. 480 00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,570 Paige has been quiet. 481 00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,447 I think this is going to be hardest 482 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:04,493 on her, I'm afraid. 483 00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:07,496 - How so? - When you've dedicated 484 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:11,541 your entire life to gaining the attention of one person... 485 00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:15,545 ...what is your purpose when that person is gone? 486 00:29:16,338 --> 00:29:18,047 The girls are handling it well, at least. 487 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:20,925 Yeah, well, they're too young to know the difference. 488 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:24,096 Just one less present at Christmas. 489 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:31,352 I know an excellent therapist, Stacy. 490 00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:32,896 You are my therapist. 491 00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:36,024 You're my best friend. 492 00:29:36,149 --> 00:29:38,025 I'm incapable of being impartial. 493 00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:40,362 Speaking to someone who can look at the situation 494 00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:43,739 with clarity and with zero opinion-- 495 00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:45,241 What I need is opinion. 496 00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:48,036 If I want to know what the book on death says, 497 00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:50,122 I'll buy the fucking book. 498 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,751 ♪ thoughtful music ♪ 499 00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:49,490 I ordered a charcuterie board from Eataly. 500 00:31:49,491 --> 00:31:51,409 And the pizzas from Joe's? 501 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,662 One of us is thinking about your cholesterol. 502 00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:55,497 Pizzas are for Paul. It's the one thing 503 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,916 he misses about this city. 504 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,545 Look at you. 505 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:05,132 - Look at me, what? - Men are such children. 506 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,008 Well, this should be interesting. 507 00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:09,802 You are. You have the same look on your face 508 00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,429 pulling out those nasty boots 509 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,514 as an 11-year-old pulling out his baseball cleats. 510 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:16,309 It's the same look you get when Gucci has a sale. 511 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:19,019 That's different. That's me saving you money. 512 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:20,354 You know, 513 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:22,023 this is proof of the genetic distinction 514 00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:24,316 between men and women. 515 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:26,361 Tell me, oh, love of my life, 516 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,572 all the ways how when you buy something on sale, 517 00:32:29,573 --> 00:32:31,782 it saves me money. 518 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,368 I'm gonna buy the damn thing no matter what. 519 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,663 Waiting for the sale is how much I love you. 520 00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:40,541 - That almost makes sense. - It makes perfect sense 521 00:32:40,542 --> 00:32:43,587 once you accept the inevitability of the purchase. 522 00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:47,590 Okay. 523 00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:49,592 Why do you do that? 524 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:51,093 What? 525 00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:53,095 Is your little 526 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:56,016 mountain mistress the jealous type? 527 00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:58,267 You want to know? 528 00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:01,228 I do want to know. I really want to know. 529 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,732 Because I lost it once. 530 00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,399 Fell off in the river. 531 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,735 I spent two days looking for it. 532 00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:08,236 I'm not going through that shit again. 533 00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:10,070 So if I put it right there, 534 00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,072 I can't lose it. 535 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:14,409 Hmm. Panicked, were you? 536 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,495 - Terrified. - Mm. 537 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,205 It's nice to see I still have that effect. 538 00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:22,292 Oh, boy. Do you ever, baby. 539 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,883 ♪ pensive music ♪ 540 00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:16,846 Oh, Madison Avenue. 541 00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:19,474 How did they get the name, do you think? 542 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,353 - I always assumed James Madison. - Oh. 543 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:25,604 - The president. - Yeah. 544 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:27,314 Of course. That would make sense. 545 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,899 Yeah. 546 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:31,777 I suppose they named the Madison River 547 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,446 after him, as well. 548 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:35,824 Where's the Madison River? 549 00:34:35,949 --> 00:34:37,784 Montana. 550 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,121 Where your husband spent time? 551 00:34:41,955 --> 00:34:43,665 Mm-hmm. 552 00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:48,044 Is that where he died? 553 00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:50,005 No. He died on another river. 554 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:54,175 Actually, no, he died on a mountain. 555 00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,721 No-no river involved at all. 556 00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:06,354 How do you feel when you tell me that? 557 00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,023 How do you think I feel? 558 00:35:08,148 --> 00:35:11,567 I don't presume to know. It's why I asked. 559 00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:14,237 Isn't that your job? 560 00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:16,197 To tell me how I feel? 561 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,825 My job is to help you understand how you feel. 562 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:22,786 - Hmm. - More so, 563 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,706 my job is to help you understand the behaviors 564 00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:26,875 that those feelings elicit. 565 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:31,212 Hmm. 566 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:38,053 And how would you describe my present behavior? 567 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,387 Hostile. 568 00:35:42,390 --> 00:35:43,724 Hostile? 569 00:35:43,725 --> 00:35:45,226 Mistrusting. 570 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,270 Which I understand. 571 00:35:48,271 --> 00:35:50,231 You don't know me. 572 00:35:51,441 --> 00:35:54,109 And yet, here you are, in theory, 573 00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:56,571 willing to expose 574 00:35:56,696 --> 00:35:58,822 your most personal thoughts 575 00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:00,700 and intimate feelings. 576 00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:04,245 Trust me in my interpretation 577 00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:07,540 of those feelings and behaviors... 578 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,252 ...to guide your decision-making in the future. 579 00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:13,213 My decision-making? What... 580 00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:15,339 what-what decisions are we questioning? 581 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,257 - I'm not questioning any. - No, you are the one 582 00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:19,260 who said it. My husband died. 583 00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:21,970 The love of my life, 584 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:24,306 the father of my children, 585 00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:27,727 my center, my soul is gone. 586 00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:31,105 If you, by chance, have 587 00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,482 happened upon any information 588 00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:36,820 that might assist me in mitigating the desire 589 00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:40,156 to claw my eyes out with a fucking spoon 590 00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:41,740 to get rid of the pain, 591 00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:45,286 I sure would appreciate that. 592 00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:48,288 But I do not need you staring at me 593 00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,124 like I'm some bored housewife 594 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:54,044 trying to justify her affair with her fucking tennis coach. 595 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,505 I know those women, plenty of them. 596 00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:59,634 I am not one of them. 597 00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:01,969 I... 598 00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:03,721 am hurting. 599 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:07,350 And I would like some help with that. 600 00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:09,185 If you can. 601 00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,479 If you can't... 602 00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,816 ...then I'll leave early. 603 00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:18,820 And you can keep the fucking change. 604 00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:26,453 You care for a drink? 605 00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,082 I would love one. 606 00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:39,883 Don't normally do this. 607 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:44,512 Spend most of my time convincing my clients not to self-medicate. 608 00:37:46,389 --> 00:37:47,723 Don't mind whiskey? 609 00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:50,769 I don't give a shit what it is. 610 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:13,040 What you need is this. 611 00:38:13,041 --> 00:38:15,335 A lot of this. 612 00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:16,753 Not this. 613 00:38:16,878 --> 00:38:19,005 A lot of talking. 614 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,423 And yelling and crying. 615 00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:24,385 A lot of it, and often. 616 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,888 And in time... 617 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,809 ...those memories will become fond again. 618 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,145 They won't hurt to recall them. 619 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,190 And you'll... 620 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,775 laugh. 621 00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,279 Will you love again? 622 00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:45,113 Maybe. 623 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:47,992 I don't have any idea if that's something you want. 624 00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:52,038 Will you ever be whole again? 625 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:55,542 Will you feel like you did before he died? 626 00:38:58,586 --> 00:38:59,963 No. 627 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,549 But you know that. 628 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:06,886 But you will heal if you let yourself. 629 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:10,098 You will have as much life to live 630 00:39:10,223 --> 00:39:12,475 as you allow yourself. 631 00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:18,273 Or you'll have none. 632 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:21,985 You'll have no life. 633 00:39:25,989 --> 00:39:28,241 Does that make sense? 634 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,911 Yeah. 635 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,414 Okay. 636 00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:41,044 Why don't you finish your drink and let me have it? 637 00:39:41,045 --> 00:39:42,629 Seriously. 638 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,966 Come on. Give it your best shot. 639 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:53,307 You're a terrible therapist, you know that? 640 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:56,185 Yeah. With that smug fucking sweater. 641 00:39:58,146 --> 00:39:59,855 You really like saying "fuck," don't you? 642 00:39:59,856 --> 00:40:01,983 I know. 643 00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:04,152 I find it quite... 644 00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:07,529 ...liberating, at the moment. 645 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,156 Good. 646 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:10,449 Say it again. 647 00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:11,868 Fuck you. 648 00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:15,288 Are we gonna do trust falls next, you fucking quack? 649 00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,291 It's a really good place to start. Come on. 650 00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:21,210 Keep it coming. Let's go. 651 00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:22,629 - Mm? - I'm serious. 652 00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:29,177 I'm thinking about it. 653 00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:31,720 I'm considering it. 654 00:40:31,721 --> 00:40:33,472 I know, I know, I know. 655 00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:34,890 I'm running away, 656 00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:36,684 running away from my problems. 657 00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:38,977 But this problem goes with me, so 658 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,522 I'm not running from anything. 659 00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,485 Would I miss my daughters? Uh... 660 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,821 Honestly, I don't... I don't know. 661 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:51,866 And part of me thinks it would be better for them. 662 00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,993 You know, live their own lives. 663 00:40:54,827 --> 00:40:56,829 Maybe they could move with you. 664 00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,664 I mean, it doesn't sound like either of them are bound 665 00:40:58,665 --> 00:41:01,291 - to the city. - That's what I said. 666 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,085 My oldest daughter needs it. 667 00:41:03,086 --> 00:41:04,337 I... 668 00:41:05,088 --> 00:41:07,881 ...actually threatened to cut her off if she didn't. 669 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:09,759 That's not very nice. 670 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:13,136 Oh, what, do they teach sarcasm 671 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,223 in therapy school these days? 672 00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:18,642 Well, if by "therapy school" you mean Dartmouth, 673 00:41:18,643 --> 00:41:21,688 then, yeah, they kind of invented it there. 674 00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:27,902 You think I should? 675 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,865 Not my place to say, but... 676 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:37,078 ...I think you should consider it, 677 00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:38,705 and I'll tell you why. 678 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:41,290 Because you are actively weighing your future 679 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:44,085 and the consequences of your choices in that future, 680 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:45,794 and that's healthy. That's good for your soul. 681 00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:48,880 So whether you actually do it is irrelevant. 682 00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:51,758 But you should seriously consider it. 683 00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,969 You should consider 684 00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:55,638 moving to Europe, 685 00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:57,140 spend a year traveling. 686 00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:58,766 You've got the financial means, 687 00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:00,976 no responsibilities here preventing it. 688 00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:04,188 You should consider everything. 689 00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:08,316 Wish I could have met him. 690 00:42:08,317 --> 00:42:10,318 Must have been a hell of a man. 691 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,945 Because you are a hell of a woman. 692 00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,448 You know who you are and you're not ashamed of it. 693 00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:17,784 And this-- the yelling, and crying and pondering-- 694 00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:20,454 this is what you're supposed to be doing. 695 00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,289 This is grieving. 696 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:25,334 This is accepting an immeasurable loss in your life 697 00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:28,421 and racking your brain to try to find a way to survive it. 698 00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:31,299 And you will. 699 00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,138 Thank you, Phil. 700 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,807 Wow. This has been... 701 00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:43,018 ...pleasantly cathartic. 702 00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:45,020 I took one look at that sweater, 703 00:42:45,021 --> 00:42:48,357 and I had very little faith in you, but you-- 704 00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:49,900 you overcame it. 705 00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:53,362 Turns out you don't suck at your job. 706 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:56,823 Well, that is wildly offensive. 707 00:42:56,824 --> 00:42:58,241 Thank you. 708 00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,202 Same time tomorrow? 709 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:02,163 I'm thinking afternoon. 710 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,540 I still got five clients, and I'm pretty drunk. 711 00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:08,335 I think you are a client to end the day with, not begin one. 712 00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:10,837 Fine. See you at happy hour. 713 00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:13,382 ♪ serene music ♪ 714 00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:29,315 Across the northern plains and into 715 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,901 the upper Midwest, a colder air mass is settling in. 716 00:43:40,827 --> 00:43:42,244 Who's your realtor? 717 00:43:42,245 --> 00:43:45,413 Yeah. No matter what I do, I can't stay here. 718 00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:48,250 Lili, I can smell him. 719 00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:50,086 Hold on, hold on. 720 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:53,548 Is everything okay? 721 00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:56,884 So, um, Paige is-is-is in bed, 722 00:43:57,009 --> 00:43:58,426 and she won't talk, 723 00:43:58,427 --> 00:44:00,804 and she can't stop crying, and she's... 724 00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:02,515 Well, she's hyperventilating, and I feel like 725 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,391 I should call an ambulance, but I don't... 726 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:06,102 Like, I feel like that might make her worse. 727 00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:07,769 No, you're right, you're right. It would. 728 00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:09,187 I'll be there in 15 minutes. 729 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:12,024 - Call Abby. - Okay, okay. Calling her now. 730 00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,761 - Is she in the bedroom? - Yeah. 731 00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:46,267 Uh... 732 00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:47,809 do you have any sweets? 733 00:44:47,810 --> 00:44:50,770 - Sweets? - Okay, get some ice cream-- 734 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:53,566 rocky road-- and buy some chocolate chips. 735 00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:55,775 Put three scoops in a glass of milk, 736 00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:57,111 put the chocolate chips on top, 737 00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,280 and-and then just bring it to me with a spoon. 738 00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:01,240 That sounds, uh, disgusting, to start. 739 00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:03,491 I wasn't asking your opinion of it, Russell. 740 00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:11,333 I got rocky road. 741 00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:13,002 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 742 00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:16,130 - Grabbed the chocolate chips? - The shitty ones like she likes. 743 00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:17,380 Well, looks like all we need 744 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:18,758 from you is a cup, Russell. 745 00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:20,092 Give it to her. 746 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,470 - She knows how to make it. - Got it. Okay. 747 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,847 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 748 00:45:25,848 --> 00:45:28,183 - Hey, it's okay. It's okay. - I... I'm sorry. 749 00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:31,019 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You know what this is? 750 00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:32,312 Wha-What? 751 00:45:32,313 --> 00:45:33,981 This is how much you loved him. 752 00:45:34,106 --> 00:45:37,026 And your body just doesn't know where to put all that love now. 753 00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:38,860 Okay? But you don't have to put it anywhere. 754 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:41,196 And you don't have to stop loving someone 755 00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:42,489 when they're gone, honey. 756 00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,491 In fact, one could argue 757 00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:46,451 that you should love them more. 758 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:49,538 And here's a sad fact of life. 759 00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,999 You will feel this way again. 760 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,210 - No. - Yeah, when I die. 761 00:45:55,211 --> 00:45:57,797 When your husband dies and your friends. 762 00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:59,465 And-and someday, 763 00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:02,343 your children will feel this way about you. 764 00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:05,887 Thanks, Mom. I feel so much better. 765 00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:07,722 I come bearing gifts. 766 00:46:07,723 --> 00:46:09,350 I'm not hungry. 767 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,019 It's not food. It is a drug. 768 00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:15,272 It is sugar and chocolate in a mixture 769 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,649 that only your metabolism can process in a way 770 00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:18,525 that doesn't end up on your hips. 771 00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:20,486 And I hate you for it. 772 00:46:23,155 --> 00:46:25,366 I used to eat this when I was, like, five. 773 00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:28,035 Well, you still act five, so... 774 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,538 Mmm. 775 00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:32,748 Fuck you and your bad roots. 776 00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:34,542 Now she's back. 777 00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:37,044 I don't understand it. 778 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:39,879 It's the crunch with the cold 779 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,506 and the mushy of the ice cream. 780 00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:42,882 Right. 781 00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:45,760 The explanation doesn't sell it, Paige. 782 00:46:45,761 --> 00:46:46,762 Well... 783 00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,222 You got her? 784 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,557 I got her, but I cannot stay the night. 785 00:46:50,558 --> 00:46:52,058 I can stay the night. 786 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,402 Mmm. 787 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,072 - This is my favorite thing ever. - I know. 788 00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:18,586 She okay? 789 00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:21,881 Yeah, she will be. 790 00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:24,258 Mm. 791 00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:27,261 Is there a decent bar near here? 792 00:47:27,386 --> 00:47:29,263 Um, there's a... 793 00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:32,015 there's a dive bar around the corner. 794 00:47:32,016 --> 00:47:35,895 Well, SoHo's version of a dive bar. 795 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:39,065 Hmm. 796 00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:53,244 Hmm. What's this place called? 797 00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:55,122 Um, I don't know. 798 00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:57,458 I'm-I'm not sure it has a name. 799 00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:04,465 Hmm. 800 00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:10,637 Hi. 801 00:48:10,638 --> 00:48:12,472 What's the name of this place? 802 00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:15,308 Name? Uh, people just call it the bar. 803 00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:17,685 Or the bar down the street. Something like that. 804 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:20,063 - No name? - Not that I'm aware of, no. 805 00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,690 What does your paycheck say? 806 00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:24,359 Uh, XT Enterprises LLC 807 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,194 or some shit. 808 00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:30,115 Okay, so... 809 00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:32,909 Bar just doesn't have a name. 810 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,661 No name. What can I get you? 811 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,122 Oh, God. I'm, uh... 812 00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:38,666 I am not in the mood to make any decisions. 813 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:40,667 Mm-hmm. Martini? 814 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:42,503 Oh, that is a cocktail, 815 00:48:42,628 --> 00:48:45,338 and this is the furthest place from a cocktail bar, so... 816 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:48,425 True that. Uh, how about a Irish car bomb? 817 00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,344 I have no idea what that is. 818 00:48:50,469 --> 00:48:52,303 - Trust me. - Okay. 819 00:48:52,304 --> 00:48:53,514 What about you? 820 00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:54,931 What kind of amber ales do you have? 821 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,517 That'll be two Irish car bombs. 822 00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,853 Hey, I like your style. Two Irish car bombs. 823 00:48:58,978 --> 00:49:00,229 I have to work in the morning. 824 00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:02,523 It's one drink, Russell. 825 00:49:07,319 --> 00:49:09,196 Ooh, I didn't see that coming. 826 00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:12,658 - Um... - Oh, gosh. Apologies, Russell. 827 00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:16,495 This is gonna hurt. 828 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,205 Uh, y-- 829 00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:21,542 Great. 830 00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:23,961 - You got to... Yeah. - Yeah. 831 00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:34,053 It went down the wrong pipe. 832 00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:37,892 I have a bad gag reflex. 833 00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:39,309 No, no. I'm not... 834 00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:41,270 I'm-I'm not laughing at that. 835 00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:43,938 What, then? 836 00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:46,525 Oh, life. 837 00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:48,903 And the choices people make. 838 00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:50,571 Don't get me wrong. 839 00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:52,740 She made a good one with you. 840 00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,577 What are your dreams? 841 00:49:58,871 --> 00:50:00,747 - Dreams? - Or... 842 00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:04,626 you know, "aspirations" might be a better word. 843 00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:06,212 For your life. 844 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,088 For my daughter. 845 00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:09,632 I mean, what-- Uh, you know, 846 00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:11,050 we-we just got the town house, so we-- 847 00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:14,761 Yeah, well, that's a purchase, not a dream. 848 00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:18,139 Have you two 849 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:21,393 - talked about starting a family? - Uh, 850 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:22,728 you know Paige. 851 00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:24,146 She just got down to a size zero, 852 00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:25,730 and she worked really hard for it, so-- 853 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:27,607 Okay, Russell, Russell, independent thoughts. 854 00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:29,610 Do you have any? 855 00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:34,113 Yeah, I mean, I guess I want-I want to have kids. 856 00:50:34,114 --> 00:50:35,908 - Mm-hmm. Okay. - And I want to raise them, 857 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,409 and I want to... 858 00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,119 I want to move out of town, 859 00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:41,037 you know, where they can have a normal-- 860 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,664 You know, tr-- you know, trick-or-treat 861 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:45,250 and-and play baseball 862 00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:46,961 and run out on the street, you know? 863 00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:48,503 Mm. No, I don't know. 864 00:50:48,504 --> 00:50:50,631 No, I don't know. I raised mine here. 865 00:50:50,756 --> 00:50:52,090 Right. 866 00:50:52,091 --> 00:50:54,884 Well, that would be my dream. 867 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,137 What about when they're grown? 868 00:50:58,514 --> 00:50:59,931 What's the dream then? 869 00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,849 I don't know. I don't know. 870 00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:03,142 I-I haven't gotten that far. 871 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:05,479 Yeah, well, then you need a new dream. 872 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:11,151 Honestly, I always thought of you and Preston as the dream. 873 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:16,823 So did I, Russell. 874 00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:19,118 ♪ thoughtful music ♪ 875 00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:22,830 But that dream is over. 876 00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:26,040 Then I guess we both need a new one. 877 00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:30,796 Yeah. 60580

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