All language subtitles for South.Park.1611.asap.immerse.EN

La Fabrique
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Fellas!

You’ll never guess what happened.
Butters just beat up Scott Malkinson.

– Butters? Why?
– It was crazy.

Scott was saying
he needed to take his insulin shot,

and outta nowhere, Butters said
he’s sick of people with diabetes.

Scott told Butters to shut up,
and Butters started whaling on him.

You’re talking about Butters.

Butters beat the crap out Scott,
then locked himself in the bathroom.

Leave me alone!

– Come out here.
– Get outta here, all of you!

People can’t just go around
beating up people who have diabetes.

– Whatever your problem is…
– You think you know everything!

Every little thing, you gotta shoot
your mouth off like you’re the expert!

You don’t know everything,
because your best friend

thinks the entire planet
revolves around him,

and he only cares about his image!

You think Cartman is the only
selfish piece of crap at this school?

You’re all fake and stuck up,

and none of you have the courage
to tell Jimmy that he’s not funny.

The only kid here
with any sense of dignity is Kenny,

and the rest of you
have your heads up your butts!

Apparently,
Kenny is Butters’ best friend.

You guys gonna make out?

That’s another thing!

You always trivialize everything I say
by getting the last word!

You’re not getting
the last word this time!

Double wow!

I’m sorry, but your son
is distracting the other students,

and his attitude
is just getting worse.

What on earth has gotten into you?

I don’t know.
I was just pissed off, I guess.

Do you think this behavior is fair
to your teacher and classmates?

I don’t suppose it is,
but I don’t give a darn!

Do you have any idea
how grounded you are about to be?

Why don’t you shut up
and stick it in your ear!

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Our little Butters is flowering.
He has reached the age of panua.

Excuse me?

– This isn’t Butters’ fault.
– It’s not?

It has to do with biology.

You’ve maybe noticed
that Butters isn’t…

exactly like other kids.

You probably think
Butters seems somehow different.

– All the time!
– It’s because he is.

His mother and I, our whole family…

we’re not of this place.

I’m sorry, I really don’t understand.

Just understand that for our people,
it’s a very private matter.

He can’t be helped by your discipline.
It must be dealt with by his own kind.

If it’s all right with you,
we’d like an extended leave for our boy.

It’s a cultural thing.

I don’t want him to go.
He’s too young!

It’s our people’s way.
You know that better than I do!

– Then we can go with him.
– You know that’s not allowed!

Will somebody tell me
what the friggitty fookshmere going on?

You’ve reached the age where you must
journey to your birthplace

for the ceremony of hapa noa.

But I’m from here!

We moved here
just before you started preschool.

You were born in our native land.

A distant and very secluded
island world, called…

Hawai‘i.

We’re from Hawaii?

Only Haoles pronounce it “Hawaii”.

But those of us from Hawai‘i
are a very special people.

We have many customs and traditions
to keep our culture alive.

We drink chi-chis
from the coconut.

We eat poke
that the Safeway provides.

And when we’ve chosen a mate,
we marry at the Fern Grotto,

as your mother and I did
so very long ago.

As a Stotch,
you are actually Hawaiian royalty.

Your grandma and grandpa
were there in the time of the King.

What does it have to do with me acting
like an emo chick on her period?

Not an emo chick on her period.

Like a salmon
needing to swim back up river.

All Hawaiians feel it.

It is called hapa hua opae loa,

and it means it’s now your time
to make your trip to our island home.

You must do your walkabout
to your homeland.

And you must do it alone.

Take this.

It is our Mahalo rewards card.
It will provide you with all you need.

And now, I must turn my back on you.

Holy shit balls!

– Guess what, you guys.
– What?

Butters got on a bus
with his bags packed

and said he’s going to Hawaii.

He has to go back to his homeland,

told me it was none of my business
and to keep my fat mouth.

What the hell?
Somebody’s gotta stop him!

After all the things he said,
he can go ahead.

Kenny, you’re his best friend.
Stop him.

I’m not his best friend.

Go rescue him
so he can lick your balls some more.

– Butters, come on.
– They won’t let me on the plane.

I can’t do anything right.

I have to go to Hawaii!

I have no idea what’s waiting for me,
but I can’t go on like this!

Excuse me, he needs to get to Hawaii.

I told him I can’t allow anyone to fly
who appears to be intoxicated.

I’m not intoxicated!

I’m just deligerent
because of my hapa noa huy loa!

Please let him on the plane.
It’s really important.

Tell you what, there’s plenty of points
on his Mahalo rewards card.

If you fly with him,
I can let him go.

Can’t you see I’m in horrible pain?
Do you have any idea…

I’ll go.

We’re here.
Now, what do I do?

Can I help you?

I’m not sure
where I’m supposed to go.

Are you with a cruise ship
or a land tour group?

I’m not a tourist.
I’m a native Hawaiian.

Butters Stotch?

Welcome home, young keiki.

Your parents said you would be coming
for your ceremony.

– Who’s this?
– This is my friend, Kenny.

Native Hawaiians don’t really approve
of Haoles coming to their ceremonies.

Without him, I couldn’t have come.

Very well, we shall speak
with the chief of our island and see.

Come now.

You folks are native Hawaiians too?

My wife and I
have been coming for five years,

and Bill and Donna
own a timeshare in Poipu.

But Poipu is getting overrun
with tourists, I’m afraid.

Let us eat.

Let us eat.

Five orders of saimin, please.

– What’s saimin?
– It’s one of the foods of our people.

I get 20% off, I’m a native.
Here’s my Mahalo rewards card.

Come on, you freaking tourists!
Jesus, buy a postcard.

These are the ancient ruins
of our ancestors.

They say the spirit of the King
is still in there.

You must stay away
from this place, it is kapu.

That means taboo.
Especially the Haoles.

That there is Bubba’s Burgers.

In Hawai‘i,
us natives say “Bubba’s bra”.

Here’s the Sheraton.
Another mega hotel for the tourists.

Here’s where many of us natives live.

The Sheraton Residences.

It’s all right, we’re natives.

Protector and chief, I present to you
the keiki Butters Stotch.

Stephen and Linda’s child.

Last time I saw you,
you were the size of a coconut.

Who’s the Haole?

My dearest friends.

I am living amongst the natives
in the remote and tiny island of Kaua‘i.

What can I tell you
of this island and its people?

It is a place of wonder,

and yet, to the outsider like me,
a place of odd tradition.

The people here
are peaceful and joyous

and seem to care little for the rush
and worry of the outside world.

Their diet is an odd mixture

of coconut milk,
pineapple juice and vodka,

which they call the chi-chi.

As for Butters, he is quickly
learning the ways of his ancestors,

and seems to be feeling better
with every passing day.

He still seems quite angry at times,

but luckily, his ceremony
will finally take place on the morrow.

“On the morrow”?
What the fuck is wrong with Kenny?

To wit, I have found nothing wrong
with this remote place,

and I must admit
it will be with some melancholy

that I will leave this island
and return home.

I saw this chick in a bikini
on the beach, too.

She had the nicest boobs ever.

Humbly yours, Kenneth.

In the time-honored traditions
of our ancestors,

we honor the native Hawaiian
Butters Stotch with his hapa noa.

The shark’s tooth necklace represents
your connection to our island.

Now drink the chi-chi.

It’s like gasoline.

Drink, young keiki,

and you will feel the last
of your aggression melt away.

I do feel butter… better.

Oh spirits of ancestors,

we ask that you bless
this native Hawaiian with his hapa noa!

– We ask that you…
– Listen!

Listen, everyone.
I have terrible, horrible news!

Do you realize
that you are interrupting a hapa noa?

I’ve just come from the front office.

The Mahalo rewards card is…

What has happened?
Speak!

The Mahalo rewards card
is being eliminated.

They’re trying to say our points…

are no longer going to be accepted.

I knew one day it would come to this.

To what?
What does this mean?

The Haoles are trying
to do away with us.

With no rewards program,

they’ll be no distinction
between who’s a native and who isn’t!

Why can’t your people
respect our island?

Why do you always want more?

I’m sorry, keiki,
your hapa noa will have to wait.

For we must unite together
as never before!

It is time to show the Haoles
that this is our island!

Stop ruining our island, Haoles!
Fire!

What are they doing?

Take a swing.
Let them know they’re not welcome.

I’ve never done this.

It’s all right, just try to tap
into that anger that’s inside you.

My anger…

Stupid Ben Affleck!

Hold on!

I can’t!

I love you!

I love you!

This is Breaking News.

An insurrection in the Hawaiian islands
has escalated to war.

After sinking a cruise ship,
the natives of Kauai

continue to go berserk,
forcing all tourists off their island.

They just pushed us onto airplanes
and said we weren’t welcome anymore.

Then a little boy called me a skank.

The president says he will send
the Coast Guard to take the island back,

though he sympathizes,
being a native Hawaiian himself.

Are all the tourists
gone from our island?

All but a few who are hiding out
at Duke’s restaurant.

We’ve sent Bob and Trisha Turner
to smoke them out.

– What about him?
– What about me?

He’s a tourist and he knows everything.
We have to kill him.

Kenny’s my friend!

He’s the only kid at school
I actually like, you bunch a jerks!

Be careful, young keiki,
your anger stills controls you,

because we were not able
to finish your ceremony.

Perhaps we should finish it now.

Finish his ceremony?
We are at war, David!

I have lived on this island
for ten years!

Every July and part of August.

What we are about to face
from the Haoles

is nothing short of genocide.

He’s right, David.
We can’t trust any tourists.

– He won’t betray us, will you, Kenny?
– I won’t fucking betray anybody!

Then let him prove himself.
Trial by opaekaka.

He’s only a child.

If he wants to be one of us,
he must face the challenge.

Very well.

This isn’t right.

He’s not a native.
He’s gonna get killed!

Be careful!

Quiet, he must face
this challenge alone.

By the gods, perhaps he does have
the heart of a native after all.

He still has yet to make the turn.

That’s pretty good.

I told you a Haole couldn’t do it.

Did you make the turn your first try?

Did any of us?

Don’t worry, your friend
will find his way back to his kind.

The gods will protect him.

We have called for this great meeting,
because if we are to survive this war,

all the native Hawaiian tribes
must join as one.

We are not joining the people
of the Hyatt grand vacations.

They have no right
to call themselves natives.

And you do?

Your ancestors came on an airplane
six months ago!

Our ancestors sailed here.

On a cruise ship, nine months ago.

If we are to fight the Haoles,
we have to allow all natives to stay.

It doesn’t matter
how many tribes we have.

We are but few
against the Haoles’ military might.

We may have passion,
but passion does not win wars!

Come up here, keiki.

This child sunk a cruise ship
by himself.

Tell them, keiki.

I don’t know about you,

but I’m sick and tired of being
pushed around all the time!

I came for my hapa noa ceremony,
and I can’t even have it,

’cause the fucking Haoles
have to ruin everything!

Screw them!

If you ask me,
the only good Haole’s a dead Haole!

With a stick up his butthole,
and his wiener cut off!

Let us make a pact
with more chi-chis!

We’re out of chi-chis.

Oh right,
we’ve closed off all the ports.

But they’re still letting
vodka through, right?

They can’t cut off our chi-chis.

Oh my God.

This is the US Coast Guard.

We have instructions to take you
by force if necessary.

Ready! Fire!

Fire.

Launch the bocce balls!

Goddammit.

Keep fighting!
Stand your ground!

– We can’t fight without chi-chis!
– You can and you must!

Stupid! Greedy! Haoles!

Kill! Them! All!

Listen, everyone.

We gave it all we had.

It’s over.

We must go down to Nawiliwili Harbor

and surrender
to the American government.

Surrender?
To heck with that!

We can’t hold out here any longer.

I won’t do it, you hear me?
I’m not licking anybody’s testies.

Young keiki,
try to control your anger.

This is our home!

I’m sick of everyone who thinks
they’re better

just ’cause they got good looks
and even after massacring Daredevil,

they happen to come back
and hit a home run that everyone loves!

You shouldn’t be able to be good looking
and be with Jennifer Lopez

and be a good director!

All right, fine.
Argo is a good movie.

There, I admitted it!

I told people it didn’t hold up,
but it holds up!

Ben Affleck has everything.

Everyone!
Look, I say!

The Haole did it!

My dear friends of the mainland.

What adventures I have found
on the tiny island of Kaua‘i.

I have truly become one
with the natives,

who found new courage
to fight their oppressors.

We are not surrendering today!

Go back and tell your leaders
that we will fight them until the end!

You people just don’t give up,
do you?

The American government
finally gave in to the natives,

and had the Mahalo rewards cards
reinstated.

Our two cultures, it appears,
will once again live in peace.

With the war at an end,

our Butters is able to have
his hapa noa ceremony,

and with any help from the gods,

become his old cheery self again.

And so, it is with great honor
that we recognize these two natives

with their hapa loa.

Take your cards, boys.

It’s finally over, young keiki.
Is your anger at rest?

I guess so.

Except it still doesn’t change the fact
that Ben Affleck is handsome, talented,

and then gets to go home
and kiss Jennifer Lopez.

Ben Affleck isn’t
with Jennifer Lopez anymore.

He’s married to Jennifer Garner.

Really?

But I thought
I was totally jealous of him.

He’s just married to Jennifer Garner?

I feel so much better!

You do?

I like that Ben Affleck guy.
He’s a good filmmaker.

Come on.
I owe the kids at school an apology.

Did you see Argo?
It’s a pretty good movie.

Ben Affleck has a lot going for him.
Not everything, but a lot.