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1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:06,127
(music) [light, upbeat ukulele]
2
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,653
(music) [man singing Envy]
3
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,998
[Snoring]
4
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,643
[Alarm buzzes]
5
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:32,089
[Alarm beeps]
6
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,290
[Continues snoring]
7
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,185
- [Michael] Lula loves her syrup.
- [Debbie] You have enough syrup.
8
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,953
[Tim] Mrs. Butterworths
isn't a squirt bottle.
9
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:08,994
It's no big deal. You've had enough.
10
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:12,361
- Mom, these aren't brown enough.
- Do you want me to burn them?
11
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,798
No, but I just want them more brown.
12
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,336
Mikey, Mom's not a short order cook.
13
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:18,893
Eat up now.
14
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,202
[Natalie] Double knots?
We never did double knots.
15
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,245
- [Nick] Sweetie, I can't get it.
- Don't use a fork.
16
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,008
No bubbles at the table.
Eat your breakfast first.
17
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,983
She's right, you know,
my eggs taste like bubbles now.
18
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:40,817
- Hurry up, honey, you'll be late.
- [Tim] All right.
19
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:44,330
The van needs an inspection sticker.
Good luck.
20
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:51,363
Alrighty.
21
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,997
What's this?
Look who's hiding.
22
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:58,510
Mr. Dino...
and another weird stowaway.
23
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,671
Okay, Nathan, no cereal in my thingie.
24
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,476
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye, honey.
25
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:03,743
Nathan!
26
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,878
- What's that?
- What?
27
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,113
That.
28
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,757
Maple syrup.
29
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:52,597
Mmm, man! Can you believe
that comes from a tree?
30
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,360
Don't taste my pants.
31
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,197
I can't taste your pants?
32
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,032
Ever.
33
00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,401
- Ever?
- No.
34
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,736
Well, don't spill maple syrup on them.
35
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,538
Just because it's there
doesn't mean you have to taste it.
36
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,704
- I like maple syrup.
- Not from my pants.
37
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,212
I love it.
38
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:15,380
How about this:
What if you had, like, an inkpad...
39
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:20,758
only instead of ink,
it was soaked in maple syrup.
40
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,295
Or peppermint.
Any flavor you wanted.
41
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:30,227
- And you just open up your little pad.
- Right.
42
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:33,864
And you press your finger on it
and then you taste your finger.
43
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:38,206
Peppermint. Any time of day.
Or cherry.
44
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,213
[Tim] Wouldn't the pad get disgusting
after awhile?
45
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,771
[Nick] Disgusting how?
46
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,750
I don't know. You keep touching it
with your filthy fingers.
47
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:49,584
Couple of days that flavor pad's like
some mattress you find at the dump.
48
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,756
You're right. It's no good.
49
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,620
[Knocking]
50
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,794
[Nick] Tim.
51
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:05,360
- Did you get your performance chart?
- Yeah.
52
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,271
Well, look at mine. I don't get it.
53
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,400
Good. Fair. Fair. Good.
54
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,206
Then it falls into the red
in the focus department.
55
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,010
Well, you know, Nick, that's because
you're a dreamer. You know?
56
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:21,179
- I'm not a dreamer.
- You're not the most focused person.
57
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,846
You're a dreamer.
58
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:26,255
Yeah. I'm a dreamer?
59
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,193
Hey, you want to feel something?
Come here.
60
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,287
Sit in this chair. Come here.
61
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,298
Okay.
62
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,799
Check this out.
63
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:38,859
Whoa.
64
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:41,463
- Sit back.
- Oh, this is some chair!
65
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:42,940
- Do you like it?
- Yeah.
66
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,533
Feel this.
67
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,379
What is that?
68
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,007
- Lumbar support.
- That is good.
69
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:54,281
- It's made especially for your spine.
- I like it.
70
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,255
Comes with the office.
And the promotion.
71
00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:00,554
- Right.
- Thinking of buying a swimming pool?
72
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,355
- What, are you kidding?
- I am.
73
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:05,363
- Thinking bean-shaped.
- [Grunts]
74
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:08,832
Expensive. Bean-shaped?
75
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,095
[Whistling]
76
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,995
Take a look at my performance chart.
77
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,839
Look at your focus. It's way up there.
It's in the yellow.
78
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:21,971
I'm telling you, you get your focus
even into the orange, just the orange...
79
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,312
I guarantee you can have
a chair like that.
80
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,249
- Really?
- And an office like this.
81
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,879
And a piano-shaped pool
if that's what you want.
82
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,753
It's all there for you.
All you got to do is focus.
83
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,451
Just work a little bit harder.
84
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:37,360
You can get bumped up to sandpaper
with me and the world opens up.
85
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,627
You know what, man?
You could really sack out in this thing.
86
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:44,101
I'm telling you, your numbers
aren't that bad. It's just focus.
87
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:48,504
If you put together everything else, you
got a really strong thing going on...
88
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,042
[breathing heavily]
89
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,670
Nick. Nick!
90
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,236
[Snorting]
91
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,976
- I got to get back to work.
- Yeah.
92
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,915
- Good talk.
- Yeah, good talk.
93
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,185
- Remember what I said.
- Focus.
94
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,588
- Just get into orange.
- That's all I need.
95
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,058
Don't even worry about yellow,
just orange.
96
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,856
[Whistle blows]
97
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,568
[Nick] Do you ever just watch your hand?
98
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,036
[Tim] No.
99
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,300
I was just looking at my hand today.
100
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,143
It was like a separate thing.
101
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:26,473
It was...
102
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,280
picking up papers.
103
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:34,513
It tapped on my desk.
It sat in my lap.
104
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,088
- It's like...
- Sorry.
105
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,454
It's like a...
106
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,186
It's like a sidekick.
107
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,423
My little ugly sidekick.
It was very odd.
108
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,641
Eww.
109
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,878
- [Nick] Oh, oh!
- [Tim] What?
110
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,547
- [Nick] Oh!
- [Tim] What?!
111
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,146
[Nick] How about this?
112
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:15,251
A spray can, see?
And you spray it on dog poo...
113
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,161
and the poo disappears.
114
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,096
- Disappears?
- Yes!
115
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,134
Where does it go?
116
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,192
Who knows? But the thing is...
117
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:27,262
you come up with something
that gets rid of dog turds,
118
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,673
you are home free, my friend.
Home free.
119
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:45,024
[Debbie sighs]
120
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,491
[Debbie sighs]
121
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:47,890
What?
122
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,393
Nothing.
123
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,124
Liposuction.
124
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,266
You mean, where they suck the fat out?
125
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,430
There's a thing about it in here.
126
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,134
You're fine. You don't need
to get fat sucked out.
127
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,508
- If we had a little extra money...
- We don't have extra money.
128
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,911
- We have a little.
- Not to get fat sucked out.
129
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,040
[Phone rings]
130
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:13,641
Hello?
131
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:17,246
- Timmy. Timmy, check this out.
- What?
132
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:20,190
You know that invention of mine
that makes turds disappear?
133
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,419
[Sighing]
134
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,291
I got a name for it.
135
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,421
Vapoorize.
136
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:29,901
Just like vaporize only you add an "o"
so you got "poo" right in the middle.
137
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,334
Yeah, I get it.
138
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,703
Do you see how perfect it is?
Maybe even underline the poo.
139
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,401
Va-poo-rize.
140
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,375
- All right.
- Vapoorize.
141
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,071
Goodbye.
142
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,909
- Nick?
- Mmm-hmm.
143
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,313
- What did he want?
- Nothing.
144
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,582
Vapoorize.
145
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:53,256
[Announcer] Next up, ladies
and gentlemen, Nathan Vanderpark.
146
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,921
- [Woman] Go ahead, Nathan.
- [Nick] All right.
147
00:09:56,996 --> 00:10:00,295
- [Cheering, clapping]
- Here we go, Nathan. Here we go.
148
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,065
- [Woman] Almost.
- [Nick] All right.
149
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,072
- Nice try.
- [Nick] All right, Nathan, let's...
150
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,505
[Nick] Close one.
151
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,544
Oh! Come... all right.
152
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,273
[Nick] That's enough. Hey!
153
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,144
[Natalie] Almost.
154
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:19,343
- We'll get them next time, no problem.
- [Natalie] Good job.
155
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,477
You know Dimitriov in research?
156
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,852
- Dimitriov?
- Yeah.
157
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:28,326
- Kind of big beard? Kind of strange?
- No.
158
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,862
- I told him about my invention.
- What invention?
159
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,329
Vapoorize!
160
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,525
Nick, you got a cute name, that's it.
161
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,967
It's not an invention. It's an idea.
It's nothing.
162
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:41,029
Not according to Dimitriov.
He thinks I'm really on to something.
163
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,166
(music) [harmonica, drumming]
164
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,089
- [All] Bravo!
- [Natalie] Good stuff.
165
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,320
- [Nick] Good job.
- [Natalie] Good stuff.
166
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:06,297
You know what? I love this tent.
There's not one bug.
167
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,696
Guess what?
168
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,395
I went over to Dimitriov's
a couple nights ago.
169
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,460
We ran some experiments in his sink.
170
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:15,268
- He's having a ball with this thing.
- What thing?
171
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,332
You didn't tell Debbie
about my invention?
172
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,379
No, sorry, I didn't.
Go ahead. This is great.
173
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:23,108
Check it out.
It's a spray can, okay?
174
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,116
And you spray it on dog poo...
175
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,948
and the poo disappears.
176
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:32,457
That is an awesome invention.
I mean, we could sure use it.
177
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,518
It's not an invention. It's nothing.
I mean, how does it work?
178
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:40,087
It's a spray can and you spray it on.
179
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,361
- Exactly.
- Right?
180
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,562
Yeah, I know.
But what makes it disappear?
181
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,332
Things don't just disappear.
182
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:49,135
I don't know, honey.
How does anything work?
183
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,473
How does electricity work?
I think it's a great idea.
184
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,105
So do I. I think it's really exciting.
185
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,206
- [Tim laughs]
- You're nuts.
186
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,716
Dessert, everybody?
187
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:01,150
- I'm nuts. I'm crazy.
- You're crazy!
188
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,280
Hey, I have an invention.
Honey, I have an invention.
189
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:08,258
It's this button you press and
you sprout wings and you can fly.
190
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:11,888
You can fly into outer space,
to the moon, to Jupiter if you like.
191
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:15,233
[Low chattering]
192
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,330
[Whispering] He's doing so well.
193
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,568
[Tim] He's not doing anything.
194
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,100
- Does he have any lines?
- No, honey, he's a tree.
195
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,438
Three months of rehearsal.
196
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,681
Dimitriov wants to know
if I want to take it to the next level.
197
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,884
Four thousand bucks.
You want to go in with me, 50l50?
198
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:43,622
[Chuckling] I pray to God
you're kidding.
199
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,425
- Your invention?
- Yeah.
200
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:49,594
We've been working with dry ice.
We've got something amazing.
201
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,930
Nick, forget it.
202
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:55,599
No, wait a minute. $2,000.
We have that in our savings.
203
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:56,868
[Debbie] Who knows?
204
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,105
Shit doesn't just disappear.
205
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,874
It has to go somewhere.
206
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:06,907
And it's not an invention, it's an idea.
It's a pie in the sky idea.
207
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,181
And I'll tell you,
as your best friend...
208
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,691
I think you should
just pull out right now.
209
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:15,556
Don't waste your money.
You're gonna regret it.
210
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,061
"It's pie in the sky."
211
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,427
- [Screaming]
- [Gasping]
212
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:23,161
Where are the kids?
What's happening?
213
00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:25,135
Honey?
214
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,798
[Natalie] I have champagne glasses, too.
215
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,343
[Nick] All right!
216
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:33,878
What's happening?
217
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:37,712
[Nick] Okay, let me get it for you.
I'll do everything.
218
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,742
You just stay there and just relax
and get ready for the big stuff.
219
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,756
- [Nick] We got it.
- [Natalie giggling]
220
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,189
- Exciting.
- Watch this.
221
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:49,989
[Nick] I'm so glad you guys are here!
This is Dimitriov.
222
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:52,792
- Meet our best friends in the universe.
- How do you do?
223
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,629
Give Tim the flash, Big D.
224
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,430
Okay. Here, take it.
225
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,663
[Nick] Goggles.
226
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,273
Shine it right on her, buddy boy.
227
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,968
"Her"?
228
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,851
[Whooping, screaming]
229
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:23,690
[Cheering continues]
230
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:27,323
- You told me it would work and it did!
- [Natalie] Did you see that?!
231
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:30,527
[Nick] It works.
It works like a charm.
232
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:38,035
Did you guys see that?
233
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,170
[Nick] Get a camera.
There's nothing to shoot!
234
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:46,082
Spray some on my butt
because I shat my pants. Yeah!
235
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:49,951
We are going to be so rich, Dimitriov!
236
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,183
[Nick] Vapoorize!
237
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,390
[Natalie] God, we are going
to be so rich!
238
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:05,835
No matter what kind of dog you have,
let's face it,
239
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,770
they all gotta do their "business."
240
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,671
Vapoorize!
241
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,073
That's right!
242
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,873
[Nick] One spray: Problem solved.
243
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,675
Is this some kind of video trick?
244
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,045
No.
245
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:20,017
It's the miracle spray.
One spray and doggy doo disappears.
246
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:23,077
No fuss, no muss, no tools,
no robot arm...
247
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,316
"How do I work it? I don't know!"
248
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,416
- Too good to be true?
- No!
249
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,723
Vapoorize: Because life is tough enough.
250
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,463
[Announcer] Now at stores everywhere.
251
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:31,724
[Announcer] Now at stores everywhere.
252
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:34,129
(music) [piano, offbeat drumming]
253
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,626
[Cheering]
254
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,803
[Speaking in Spanish]
255
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:20,303
Now's a good time
to break the big news.
256
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:27,308
I have decided to run for Congress.
257
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,785
Congress.
258
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,153
No, I'm serious.
259
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:36,684
Yeah. I mean, not the big Congress,
of course, the little one.
260
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,663
- "The little one."
- "The little one?"
261
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:43,566
Yeah. Actually, it might be
the state senate. I can't remember.
262
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,103
Anyway, I'm super excited...
263
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,799
because we are so lucky...
264
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:52,207
and we have so, so, so much.
265
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,768
And I feel like
we should give something back.
266
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,714
So, I've decided
I'm going to run for Congress
267
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,081
or state senate or whatever.
268
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:04,179
And my main platform...
269
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:06,281
is going to be...
270
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,555
the environment.
271
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:13,992
State senate.
272
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:16,830
Environment, like the whole environment?
273
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:21,601
Yeah. I believe in all environments
and I'm going to say it.
274
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,867
And now for dessert.
275
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:28,003
Flan!
276
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,708
- Flan! Oh, boy!
- Whoo!
277
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:34,844
- Come on, kids, flan time!
- Get down here, the flan's here!
278
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,911
[Natalie] Flan, kids! Flan!
279
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,581
I love flan. Do you?
280
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:39,919
What is flan?
281
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,085
My God, you're in for such a treat.
282
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,221
- You don't know flan?
- Eat your flan, buddy. Kids, flan!
283
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:48,528
- Guys, flan's on the table!
- Flan!
284
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,862
Flan! Flan!
285
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:53,530
Flan! Yay, flan! Flan!
286
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,402
What's flan?
287
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,272
"Jasper and Amos
shine the flashlight into the hole.
288
00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:02,871
"Staring up at them, tied and gagged,
was Louie the Grouch."
289
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:05,382
It's getting exciting, isn't it?
290
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:08,511
Boy, that flan was good.
291
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,145
I wish we had flan.
292
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,287
Dad?
293
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:21,025
Yeah?
294
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,466
Why are we getting the little,
itty-bitty pool?
295
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:25,002
It's not a little itty-bitty.
296
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,972
The square one's little itty-bitty.
We're getting the bean-shaped model.
297
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,872
A little itty-bitty bean.
298
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:35,141
It's not a little, itty-bitty bean.
It's an average-sized bean, Mikey.
299
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,681
And I got news for you.
300
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:40,809
There are kids in the world
who'd walk 50 miles through quicksand
301
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,548
just to stick a toe in your pool.
302
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,420
And I got news for you about beans too.
303
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:50,394
Some kids'd eat beans because they've
had nothing to eat their whole life,
304
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,453
but leaves and bark and roots.
305
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:56,592
And I guarantee you, none of them has
ever heard of your big, show-off flan,
306
00:18:56,668 --> 00:19:01,662
or flan or whatever you want to call it
that you got to have every night.
307
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:10,309
Two thousand dollars.
That's all it would've taken.
308
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:13,715
- It's okay, honey.
- Dad's just having a meltdown.
309
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,049
Good night. Sleep tight.
310
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:16,822
- I don't like English muffins.
- Eat your cereal.
311
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,154
- I don't like English muffins.
- Eat your cereal.
312
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,784
- Try different breakfast foods.
- I like pancakes.
313
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,658
- Tomorrow we'll have pancakes.
- Fine.
314
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:31,926
I don't want any more cereal.
315
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,064
Eat up, otherwise you don't
get to play with Corky, okay?
316
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,608
- What?
- Nothing.
317
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:45,313
Why are you always asking "what"?
318
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,716
- I'm not always asking "what."
- Yes, you are.
319
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:49,344
It's true, Dad, you are.
320
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,889
Well, because I know there's something.
321
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:56,394
- And you know exactly what it is.
- Then why do you always say "nothing"?
322
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:58,861
- Corky!
- [Debbie] Hold Lula's hand, honey.
323
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,796
[Tim groans]
324
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,365
- [Mikey] Corky!
- [Nickering]
325
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,027
So beautiful.
326
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:08,504
[Mikey] Such a great horse, Corky.
327
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,667
[Mikey] Who's a good boy?
328
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:14,838
Corky's a sweet and gentle horse
and me and the kids love him.
329
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:17,973
Corky happens to shit
the size of a breadbasket
330
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,076
in our yard every day
when he comes to visit.
331
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,586
What are you doing?
332
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,256
Nothing. Nothing at all.
333
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:12,133
I'm just throwing away some more
completely useless inventions.
334
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:16,706
For chrissakes, Debbie, light?
Light?! Come on!
335
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,073
Come on! This was shit.
336
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:23,080
You think Edison would've looked up
from his workbench at some shit spray?
337
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,082
Yes. Yes, I do.
338
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:28,551
Because, you see, a good invention
is a good invention!
339
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,487
I got news for you, sister.
Edison ain't looking up.
340
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:34,889
Sister. Sister?!
341
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,325
I'm calling you sister.
342
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:38,989
You should be so lucky
to be my sister.
343
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,895
She knows what she's talking about.
344
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,797
Windtalker, or whatever her name is.
345
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:47,362
- Do not call her that. It's Windsong.
- Windsong. My mistake. Windsong.
346
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:47,873
Knockety, knockety.
A-knock, knock, knock.
347
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,307
Knockety, knockety.
A-knock, knock, knock.
348
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:53,435
How's everybody doing?
349
00:21:57,849 --> 00:21:59,578
What a day, right?
350
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,415
My God! Can you believe
the coffee that makes?
351
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,217
I knew you'd love it.
Let's go, tiger.
352
00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:08,691
[Gasping, cooing]
353
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,957
Look who's here, will you please?
354
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,928
Look who's here. It's okay, poopie.
355
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,128
Have you been stealing apples again,
you little rascal?
356
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:21,604
Listen, and I want you to be honest,
has Corky become a nuisance?
357
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,004
- No.
- Not one bit.
358
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,270
Natalie says, "Keep the corral closed."
359
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,677
But Corky's so crazy about your apples,
I don't know what to do.
360
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,079
No more apples for you.
No more apples...
361
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:35,108
I can't stop him. He loves your apples.
Are you sure he's not a problem?
362
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,485
- Positive.
- You guys are so fantastic.
363
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,425
Well, my buddy boy,
let's go shoot us some golf.
364
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:40,857
Well, my buddy boy,
let's go shoot us some golf.
365
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,941
I got something for you.
I'll be right back.
366
00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,604
- Nick, no. Please.
- Yes. You'll love it.
367
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,046
You don't have to get me anything else.
368
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:13,489
[Nick] When I hit it big,
369
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:17,119
everyone said I should buy a house
in Beverly Hills, Bel Air or Malibu.
370
00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:19,993
"Why you spending money
on a mansion in the Valley?"
371
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:24,195
But I love my neighborhood, and being
across the street from my best friend.
372
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:27,238
Do you see how it moves in the wind?
That's what I love.
373
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:32,503
It flaps different than cheaper fabric.
Do you notice that?
374
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:35,908
- Yeah.
- And it makes you feel better.
375
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:40,850
Nice fabric makes you feel better!
It's mind-blowing, isn't it?
376
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,251
Nick, you buy us too much.
377
00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:47,758
Too much?! You're my best friend.
Nice things make life nicer.
378
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:53,097
All right, let's take another look
at that follow-through.
379
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:57,034
I want the head down.
380
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:01,771
That is nice, Nicky.
381
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,865
- Right?
- Very nice.
382
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:06,638
God Almighty, Mr. Dingman.
383
00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:09,407
Nick? Can I talk to you for a second?
384
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,641
Just take a second.
385
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:18,279
Can't it just be us?
You and me playing golf?
386
00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:20,381
It's just, this is costing a fortune.
387
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,155
Cut it out with this money thing.
It means nothing to me.
388
00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:24,490
Let's just enjoy it.
389
00:24:26,331 --> 00:24:28,231
Why can't you come with us?
390
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,131
Because Daddy has to go to work.
391
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:32,636
You'll have a great time
at Aunt Nancy's.
392
00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,571
Aunt Windsong, and you know that.
393
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,501
It's Aunt Windsong now.
394
00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:47,249
Honey, you don't have to do this.
Really. Why do this?
395
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:51,221
Because I have to do this.
We have to do this.
396
00:24:51,289 --> 00:24:53,257
Something has to change.
397
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:56,317
I can't look at you,
I can't look across the street.
398
00:24:56,394 --> 00:24:58,658
I'm running out of places to look.
399
00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:02,489
[Whispering] The pool people
come tomorrow.
400
00:25:15,747 --> 00:25:18,682
[Nathan] Just wait and see this, Dad.
401
00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:21,743
[Whooping]
402
00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:23,811
Whoa! You the man.
403
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,686
- [Nick] You're the man.
- Yeah!
404
00:25:30,962 --> 00:25:33,396
[Tires squeal]
405
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:36,195
(music) [Envy reprise]
406
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,051
Hey, Timmy, check this out!
407
00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:03,526
Yeah!
408
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,995
Yah! Yah!
409
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,726
[High-pitched whinny]
410
00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:12,129
Yah!
411
00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:18,568
[Man] Mr. Dingman!
412
00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:21,441
Mr. Parmenter wants to see you!
Section 11!
413
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,516
You wanted to see me?
414
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,643
[Shouting] You all right?
415
00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:28,777
What?
416
00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:31,151
[Shouting] You seem distracted!
417
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,421
- What?
- Come on!
418
00:26:33,491 --> 00:26:36,551
[Parmenter] Your performance chart's
pretty good until here.
419
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:39,961
And then your focus
nosedives into the red.
420
00:26:40,031 --> 00:26:41,794
You see?
421
00:26:41,866 --> 00:26:46,132
Now, is there anything that happened
around here...
422
00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:50,301
you might like to talk about?
423
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,501
No.
424
00:26:51,576 --> 00:26:53,737
- You sure?
- Yeah. No.
425
00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:56,574
Any reason?
426
00:26:56,648 --> 00:26:58,582
Reason? No, I can't think of...
427
00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:02,313
Any reason at all?
428
00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:07,415
No. No reason. No.
I mean, nothing I can think of.
429
00:27:07,492 --> 00:27:09,357
I mean...
430
00:27:09,427 --> 00:27:13,591
you know, other than every day
I get into my little shit-box car
431
00:27:13,665 --> 00:27:17,260
and there he is,
with the wind in his hair...
432
00:27:17,335 --> 00:27:19,803
on his great big shiny horse.
433
00:27:19,871 --> 00:27:24,399
And I drive off to do what?
To make sandpaper.
434
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:28,506
To make paper with sand on it.
435
00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:34,674
I'd love to see you try to turn your
weasely little mouth into a fake smile,
436
00:27:34,753 --> 00:27:36,687
day after day after day...
437
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:39,656
while waving toodly-fucking-do
to your best friend,
438
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:43,353
who's rearing up on a big white horse
like he's the Lone Ranger.
439
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:45,919
Then I'd like to see
your performance chart,
440
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:48,830
you beady-eyed
little shrimp-boat bastard!
441
00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:53,095
[Voice cracks] Is that a reason?
442
00:27:56,808 --> 00:28:00,141
I mean, is that a reason?
443
00:28:06,718 --> 00:28:09,243
(music) [Envy reprise]
444
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,360
Hi.
445
00:28:22,901 --> 00:28:27,736
I don't really drink,
but my family just left me
446
00:28:27,806 --> 00:28:30,934
and I got fired and I want a drink.
447
00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:36,379
So, if you could just give me whatever
you'd have if you wanted to drink.
448
00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:39,081
Please.
449
00:28:44,422 --> 00:28:45,889
[Man] Harsh.
450
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:50,554
Abandoned.
451
00:28:50,895 --> 00:28:52,954
Fired.
452
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:57,398
It's harsh, man.
453
00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:04,235
Know what the best job
I ever got fired from was?
454
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:10,044
Pretzel kiosk.
455
00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:13,983
Afternoon shift. Just loved it,
don't know why, just did.
456
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,418
Could be the apron, who the hell knows?
457
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:19,616
Or maybe the feeling of power you get
when there's a crowd.
458
00:29:19,691 --> 00:29:22,251
One hand rolls dough,
ties those babies off.
459
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:27,594
The other hand maybe works the soda,
refills the mustard. It's quite a thing.
460
00:29:27,665 --> 00:29:29,223
I'll tell you a secret.
461
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:32,633
If a pretzel is a quality pretzel,
you don't need salt.
462
00:29:32,704 --> 00:29:34,399
It's just a fact.
463
00:29:41,146 --> 00:29:42,545
[Man] How come?
464
00:29:43,348 --> 00:29:46,476
Your family up
and blew out of town on you?
465
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:51,183
Thank you, but I don't really feel like
talking about it right now.
466
00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:53,884
- Thank you.
- Okay.
467
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:56,688
So, how come you got canned?
468
00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:01,025
It's a whole different topic.
469
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,100
I just blew up.
470
00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:08,639
Good for you, man. Good for you.
Good for you.
471
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,273
- Who at?
- I blew up at my boss.
472
00:30:12,343 --> 00:30:15,039
Right on, brother. I hear you.
473
00:30:15,113 --> 00:30:17,547
Man, I hear you!
474
00:30:17,615 --> 00:30:20,812
What'd you go and blow up
at your boss for?
475
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:26,423
You know, it's like
a long, complicated story.
476
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:30,655
Well, that is sensational.
I'm the J-Man, by the way.
477
00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:33,420
- Tim.
- Tim.
478
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,159
Ike.
479
00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:37,133
Another round, please.
480
00:30:37,202 --> 00:30:40,433
Something fruity
for me and my friend, Tim.
481
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,439
On the J-Man.
482
00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:45,475
Okay, Tim...
483
00:30:45,977 --> 00:30:49,811
just let it tumble out
like circus freaks, man.
484
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:51,576
I'm here for you.
485
00:30:51,649 --> 00:30:54,379
The J-Man is zeroed in, okay?
486
00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:56,777
Go.
487
00:30:58,656 --> 00:31:00,749
Go.
488
00:31:00,825 --> 00:31:04,625
Well, I have this friend.
He's my best friend.
489
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:07,392
I love the guy.
I mean, it's like we're, you know...
490
00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:10,457
Our families do everything together.
491
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:13,698
- Used to go to work together every day.
- Keep it coming.
492
00:31:13,771 --> 00:31:16,239
And he'd have these stupid...
493
00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:18,673
He'd have these stupid ideas.
494
00:31:18,743 --> 00:31:20,836
Open your heart. Open your heart.
495
00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:23,142
Where does it come from?
496
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,806
Shit.
497
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,510
It's all from shit.
498
00:31:26,584 --> 00:31:29,553
You know who you are?
You're like that guy...
499
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:31,885
Che, Che something.
500
00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:36,120
- "Che something"?
- Up with the people. People power.
501
00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:39,288
Or the kid that stole a chicken
with the golden eggs.
502
00:31:39,364 --> 00:31:40,991
What a fantastic chicken.
503
00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:44,228
Who's for the giant? Nobody.
You hear what I'm saying.
504
00:31:44,302 --> 00:31:45,860
You're the hero.
505
00:31:45,937 --> 00:31:48,235
Forget Che! You're like Robin Hood.
506
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:50,604
- Robin Hood? Really?
- Listen to me.
507
00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:54,270
Listen to me. Life's unfair.
It's a raw deal planet, Jack.
508
00:31:54,345 --> 00:31:57,007
You, my little dumbbell friend,
are Mr. Everyman
509
00:31:57,081 --> 00:32:01,211
and you don't even know it, which makes
you like the grand turbo Mr. Everyman.
510
00:32:01,286 --> 00:32:02,651
Honestly?
511
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,017
Come on.
512
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:07,216
You're like a great big dimwit.
You know that. Fantastic.
513
00:32:07,292 --> 00:32:08,782
Everyman Dimwit.
514
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:12,557
That stinking family across the street.
Who wouldn't feel like you?
515
00:32:15,199 --> 00:32:18,259
I like you.
I'm glad I came in here.
516
00:32:18,336 --> 00:32:19,735
You know that?
517
00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:23,433
Ringlets! Give me a break.
Let me tell you a little story.
518
00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:25,066
When I was maybe 10,
519
00:32:25,143 --> 00:32:29,671
there was this kid across the street,
Ernie "Nice Kid."
520
00:32:29,747 --> 00:32:33,877
Ernie had everything.
Only kid around with a BB gun, okay?
521
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:36,978
So one night I see
the whole family drive off.
522
00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:41,321
What'd I do? I sneak across the street
and find the BB gun.
523
00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:45,852
I squeeze off maybe five, ten pot shots
at the windows...
524
00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:47,761
Hello. In my house.
525
00:32:47,832 --> 00:32:51,063
- In your house?
- Yes, you got...
526
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:52,932
You squoze off to your house?
527
00:32:53,004 --> 00:32:55,472
You got it.
Next morning my old man gets up,
528
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:59,237
sees all these little BB holes
in our windows.
529
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:02,575
He marches across the street,
bangs on the door and Tim,
530
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,547
my little bozo friend,
531
00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:08,949
things changed big time
over there in Ernieville.
532
00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:16,491
That's what you got to do!
533
00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:18,586
- What?
- Shake things up.
534
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,688
Over there, man.
Shake them up.
535
00:33:20,765 --> 00:33:25,464
Make them think of something besides
the temperature in that candy-ass pool.
536
00:33:27,872 --> 00:33:31,330
- Shit, what time is it?
- What kind of question is that?
537
00:33:32,276 --> 00:33:35,245
I got to get back!
They can't build the pool!
538
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,446
Like, cab...
539
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:40,609
on the J-Man.
540
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:44,348
- [Vanderparks cheering, clapping]
- [Natalie] Come on!
541
00:33:51,129 --> 00:33:52,118
Excuse me!
542
00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:55,063
[Whooping, laughter]
543
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,166
Sir! Sir!
544
00:33:57,235 --> 00:33:58,793
You have to stop, please.
545
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,565
[Natalie] Here they come!
546
00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:02,538
- Whoo!
- Hi, Mom!
547
00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:04,802
Digging, no. We can't pay for the pool.
548
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:07,344
We don't... we can't pay for the pool.
549
00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:09,812
No, no. Stop! Sir!
No mas!
550
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:12,816
- Sir, I'll talk to the office.
- [In Spanish]
551
00:34:13,317 --> 00:34:15,148
Good afternoon, Mr. Tim.
552
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:19,588
- Hi.
- You look really, really wonderful.
553
00:34:19,657 --> 00:34:23,320
And here is something from
your great friends across the street
554
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:26,056
while your wonderful family is away.
555
00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:30,198
[Natalie, kids cheering]
556
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,603
"Thought you might enjoy a taste
from our newly acquired vineyard."
557
00:34:51,122 --> 00:34:54,057
(music) [Envy reprise]
558
00:35:02,133 --> 00:35:07,002
[J-Man] You got to shake things up.
Over there, man. Shake them up.
559
00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:16,305
Carousel of dreams.
560
00:35:18,416 --> 00:35:20,611
Casa Corky.
561
00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:23,415
Casa Corky.
562
00:35:26,824 --> 00:35:28,587
Incredible.
563
00:35:28,659 --> 00:35:30,354
Incredible hedge work.
564
00:35:37,735 --> 00:35:39,760
[J-Man] You got to shake things up.
565
00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:41,964
Over there, man.
Shake them up.
566
00:35:42,039 --> 00:35:45,600
Shake things up.
Shake them up.
567
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:08,264
[High-pitched whinny, thudding]
568
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:09,959
Huh?
569
00:36:27,151 --> 00:36:28,209
Corky.
570
00:36:29,954 --> 00:36:32,115
My God. How is this possible?
571
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,886
How could a little arrow
kill a big horse?
572
00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:37,257
Come on, Corky.
Corky, come on, come on.
573
00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:40,422
It's just a little arrow.
Come on, Corky.
574
00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:41,931
Giddy up, boy.
575
00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:44,160
Corky. Giddy up. Giddy up.
576
00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,169
Corky.
577
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,400
Okay, Corky.
578
00:36:51,409 --> 00:36:53,673
Come on, boy. One, two.
579
00:36:53,744 --> 00:36:55,769
Come on.
580
00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:57,507
Shit.
581
00:36:57,582 --> 00:37:00,073
Shit. God.
582
00:37:02,086 --> 00:37:04,577
Come on, Corky.
583
00:37:08,926 --> 00:37:10,553
[Yelling]
584
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:04,205
[J-Man] Hey.
585
00:38:07,852 --> 00:38:10,116
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
586
00:38:10,187 --> 00:38:13,315
Car return.
How's that for service?
587
00:38:13,391 --> 00:38:17,691
I'd probably still be driving a limo
if it wasn't for the hat.
588
00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:18,786
Hats.
589
00:38:18,863 --> 00:38:21,229
Hats make my head itch.
590
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:24,393
- What time is it?
- You got a time hang-up, don't you?
591
00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:25,958
Oh, God.
592
00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:28,562
- Look at me.
- I was thinking the same thing.
593
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,504
You are one big stinking pig, Tim.
594
00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:32,235
- How'd you get my keys?
- Keys?
595
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:35,746
The J-Man don't usually need keys,
my little dumbbell pal.
596
00:38:35,813 --> 00:38:39,840
So, that's the place?
597
00:38:39,917 --> 00:38:43,648
Look at it. All from shit?
I see what you mean.
598
00:38:43,721 --> 00:38:47,179
I don't even live here and that place
is pulling my testicles up.
599
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:50,091
I mean, literally,
they're actually coming up.
600
00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:52,254
You ever get that?
601
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,797
I killed his horse.
602
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:56,526
- What?
- I killed his horse.
603
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,569
That story you were telling
about shaking things up...
604
00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:02,105
I went over there and
I shot this bow and arrow,
605
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:05,700
and I shot at my house
and I hit his horse.
606
00:39:05,776 --> 00:39:07,505
He was eating apples in my yard.
607
00:39:07,578 --> 00:39:11,412
There was a hole because we were going
to have a pool and I buried him in it.
608
00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:14,781
- Well, now.
- [Lula] Daddy! We're home!
609
00:39:14,852 --> 00:39:16,217
No!
610
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:22,291
It's my family.
611
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,622
- Hide!
- Hide?
612
00:39:23,694 --> 00:39:25,559
Hide! Hide.
613
00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,360
- Hide? Can't I just mosey off?
- No! Don't mosey off.
614
00:39:29,433 --> 00:39:31,799
No, you can't mosey off.
They'll see you!
615
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:34,167
- So?
- So? So, what are you doing here?
616
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:36,331
Who are you?
You're some guy from a bar.
617
00:39:36,407 --> 00:39:40,571
What's wrong with...?
I'm the J-Man, bringing your car back.
618
00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:42,134
Daddy!
619
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,078
- Hey, tiger!
- Daddy!
620
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:47,447
- Hey, peanut.
- We all really missed you.
621
00:39:47,518 --> 00:39:51,079
You look terrible.
Honey, one question.
622
00:39:51,155 --> 00:39:54,283
What is at the heart of everything?
What I'm asking you is:
623
00:39:54,358 --> 00:39:57,725
What is at the heart of the heart
of the heart of the heart?
624
00:39:57,795 --> 00:40:00,821
Do you know what the answer is?
Self-love.
625
00:40:00,898 --> 00:40:04,095
Windsong told me that I have been
hating myself for resenting you.
626
00:40:04,168 --> 00:40:07,934
And you've been resenting yourself
for passing up on a big opportunity.
627
00:40:08,005 --> 00:40:11,338
What we need to do
is we need to focus on what we have.
628
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,899
[Screaming]
629
00:40:12,977 --> 00:40:15,707
Hey! Oh, hey!
630
00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:18,044
This is... This guy...
631
00:40:18,115 --> 00:40:19,844
Honey...
632
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,478
this is...
This man is the man...
633
00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:27,146
who was in the bathroom.
I didn't tell you.
634
00:40:31,328 --> 00:40:35,697
Honey... something happened
while you were gone, something bad.
635
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:37,233
What?
636
00:40:37,301 --> 00:40:38,928
I'll take it from here, Tim.
637
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:42,372
Mrs. Dingman...
638
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,136
I'm Elmo Carp, pool rep.
639
00:40:45,209 --> 00:40:49,976
Your husband and I were up here
discussing your swimming pool options.
640
00:40:50,047 --> 00:40:51,947
- Swimming pool options?
- Yes.
641
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:54,041
You see, we dug it,
we had to fill it back in.
642
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:57,645
We're sorry as heck.
Where do we go from here?
643
00:40:57,721 --> 00:41:00,554
That's the point we were at
when you barged in.
644
00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:03,525
I don't understand.
Fill it back in?
645
00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:06,825
So you mean we're not getting a pool?
646
00:41:06,897 --> 00:41:10,128
No, sonny boy, I'm afraid not.
Too many gosh darn pipes.
647
00:41:10,201 --> 00:41:11,566
- Pipes?
- Yes.
648
00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,865
Underground pipes in your yard,
649
00:41:13,938 --> 00:41:19,035
but I've intruded enough
on your little family reunion here.
650
00:41:19,109 --> 00:41:20,838
I'll be on my way.
651
00:41:20,911 --> 00:41:23,778
And thanks for filthying up
your clothes,
652
00:41:23,848 --> 00:41:25,782
helping me fill in the big hole, Tim.
653
00:41:25,850 --> 00:41:29,081
Ma'am, your husband's
got the back of a coal miner.
654
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:32,589
I know because I've mined coal.
See you.
655
00:41:41,098 --> 00:41:43,191
Something's happened to Corky.
656
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:44,894
- What?
- [Kids] Corky?
657
00:41:44,969 --> 00:41:47,437
- Have you seen Corky?
- I haven't seen Corky.
658
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,370
- Corky's gone?
- Have you seen Corky?
659
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,465
- I have not seen Corky.
- That's what I mean.
660
00:41:51,542 --> 00:41:54,033
We've been looking and looking.
Where could he be?
661
00:41:54,111 --> 00:41:57,603
- A great big horse, where?
- Nick, a horse can't just disappear.
662
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,876
- He's got to be somewhere.
- Yeah, but where?
663
00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:03,113
Where? Where?
The kids are a mess.
664
00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:05,781
Wish me luck.
665
00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:09,354
Corky!
666
00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:11,917
[Nick] Corky, come on!
667
00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:17,094
Good afternoon.
My name is Natalie Vanderpark.
668
00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:19,533
I'm running for state senate
in your district.
669
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:21,696
So I thought I'd
canvass the neighborhood
670
00:42:21,772 --> 00:42:23,637
and introduce myself to everyone.
671
00:42:23,707 --> 00:42:25,504
[Man] Who it is, Mable?
672
00:42:25,576 --> 00:42:28,602
It's that woman running
for state senate, Carl.
673
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:33,444
The shit lady? No way.
We're going with Shaunessey.
674
00:42:33,517 --> 00:42:35,075
Your opponent Shaunessey,
675
00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:37,746
he asked a good question
on the radio this morning.
676
00:42:37,821 --> 00:42:39,254
And what question was that?
677
00:42:39,323 --> 00:42:43,692
Well, didn't your husband get loaded
making turds disappear?
678
00:42:43,761 --> 00:42:47,959
My husband invented Vapoorize,
if that's what you're referring to.
679
00:42:48,032 --> 00:42:50,557
That's what Shaunessey
was talking about.
680
00:42:50,634 --> 00:42:54,502
Where do all them turds go?
I mean, they got to be somewhere.
681
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:57,040
First they're here,
then they're not here,
682
00:42:57,107 --> 00:42:58,597
and then they disappear.
683
00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:02,578
Where does the turd go to?
Really, tell me now.
684
00:43:05,980 --> 00:43:08,312
(music) [Envy reprise]
685
00:43:26,134 --> 00:43:27,567
So long, everybody.
686
00:43:27,635 --> 00:43:29,899
- Bye, have a good day at work.
- Bye, Daddy.
687
00:43:29,971 --> 00:43:33,566
- Bye, honey.
- Good luck at the salt mines, Dad.
688
00:43:38,246 --> 00:43:39,770
Where am I going?
689
00:43:39,847 --> 00:43:42,077
Wait. Timmy, wait!
690
00:43:42,150 --> 00:43:44,710
Wait! God.
691
00:43:44,786 --> 00:43:46,447
Timmy, I can't find him.
692
00:43:46,521 --> 00:43:48,989
I've been looking all night
and he's nowhere.
693
00:43:49,056 --> 00:43:51,320
I know he's just a horse, but...
694
00:43:51,392 --> 00:43:53,223
Corky.
695
00:43:53,294 --> 00:43:56,991
Corky! Where are you,
my Corky boy?
696
00:43:57,064 --> 00:43:59,032
[Hysterical crying]
697
00:44:01,602 --> 00:44:04,196
God, look at me.
This is crazy.
698
00:44:04,272 --> 00:44:07,070
Will you pass these out
down at 3M for me?
699
00:44:08,676 --> 00:44:13,704
I found some grooming hairs
in his tail brush.
700
00:44:13,781 --> 00:44:15,772
[Wailing] My God.
701
00:44:15,850 --> 00:44:18,284
- $50,000?
- [Yelling] It's pennies!
702
00:44:18,352 --> 00:44:22,448
It's pennies. Who cares?
Corky's my pal.
703
00:44:23,257 --> 00:44:29,218
He's my pal and I'd pay $50,000 to
find you if you were lost, wouldn't I?
704
00:44:29,297 --> 00:44:32,095
- Yeah.
- Wouldn't I?!
705
00:44:37,271 --> 00:44:39,262
- Okay.
- [Weeping uncontrollably]
706
00:44:39,340 --> 00:44:41,876
All right.
It's going to be okay.
707
00:44:41,876 --> 00:44:42,308
All right.
It's going to be okay.
708
00:44:42,376 --> 00:44:46,073
(music) [Envy reprise]
709
00:45:14,909 --> 00:45:16,638
Are you insane?
710
00:45:16,711 --> 00:45:20,477
That is the most selfish thing
I ever heard in my life.
711
00:45:20,548 --> 00:45:24,644
The guy loves you, man.
You'd be killing your best friend.
712
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,210
You killed his horse, right?
You killed his horse.
713
00:45:27,288 --> 00:45:30,485
Now you want to tell him?
You tell him.
714
00:45:30,558 --> 00:45:33,026
What about this?
We move the horse someplace else.
715
00:45:33,094 --> 00:45:37,360
I find it, I get the reward.
I'm bending over backwards here.
716
00:45:37,431 --> 00:45:39,490
How do we move a horse?
717
00:45:39,567 --> 00:45:41,831
We dig him up. We haul him off.
718
00:45:41,903 --> 00:45:45,930
No, I mean...
without anybody seeing us.
719
00:45:46,007 --> 00:45:47,838
You ever hear of night?
720
00:45:47,909 --> 00:45:50,844
What about the noise?
My family's right there.
721
00:45:50,912 --> 00:45:52,777
I don't want them to...
722
00:45:52,847 --> 00:45:55,008
You don't move the horse, I do,
723
00:45:55,082 --> 00:45:57,380
while you and your family
are enjoying nature,
724
00:45:57,451 --> 00:45:59,544
down at my cabin on the lake.
725
00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:02,714
- You have a cabin on the lake?
- What?
726
00:46:02,790 --> 00:46:04,781
You think I didn't have a childhood?
727
00:46:04,859 --> 00:46:08,295
Bunk beds, hiking trails, hooty owls.
728
00:46:09,697 --> 00:46:11,892
You can move a horse by yourself?
729
00:46:11,966 --> 00:46:15,265
For 50 grand.
730
00:46:19,473 --> 00:46:22,033
But I will say this:
731
00:46:22,944 --> 00:46:26,505
Knowing what I happen to know
about things buried,
732
00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:28,411
the sooner the better.
733
00:46:28,482 --> 00:46:31,144
- [Tim] Hey, Deb?
- [Debbie] Mmm-hmm?
734
00:46:31,218 --> 00:46:33,482
How'd you like to go
to a nice cabin on a lake?
735
00:46:33,554 --> 00:46:36,284
- Cabin on a lake?
- Yeah.
736
00:46:36,357 --> 00:46:40,259
This guy at work offered his cabin.
It's supposed to be really nice.
737
00:46:40,328 --> 00:46:43,764
- Who at work offered you this?
- Jackameyer.
738
00:46:43,831 --> 00:46:47,289
Jack... Jack Jackameyer.
739
00:46:47,368 --> 00:46:51,236
[Tim] It's an hour from here
and it has all sorts of wildlife...
740
00:46:51,305 --> 00:46:53,569
and hooty owls and stuff.
741
00:46:53,641 --> 00:46:55,609
[Tim] Hiking trails.
742
00:46:56,711 --> 00:46:59,703
[Protestors] Where does the shit go?
We want to know!
743
00:46:59,780 --> 00:47:03,716
Where does the shit go?
We want to know!
744
00:47:03,784 --> 00:47:07,185
Where does the shit go?
We want to know!
745
00:47:07,254 --> 00:47:09,552
[Chanting continues]
746
00:47:35,616 --> 00:47:37,777
Pretty incredible, huh?
747
00:47:37,852 --> 00:47:41,015
Whoa!
Watch out. It's okay.
748
00:47:41,088 --> 00:47:42,487
What a spot.
749
00:47:42,556 --> 00:47:45,218
What do you mean, "what a spot"?
I mean, where...
750
00:47:47,928 --> 00:47:51,489
He said it's just down at the end
of the private driveway.
751
00:47:51,565 --> 00:47:54,500
What private driveway?
This isn't a private driveway.
752
00:47:54,568 --> 00:47:57,537
This is pretty private, honey.
I mean, this is great.
753
00:47:57,605 --> 00:47:58,970
Talk about secluded.
754
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,304
We've walked, like, a mile.
755
00:48:01,375 --> 00:48:04,538
It's not a mile, honey. It seems longer
because it's so beautiful.
756
00:48:04,612 --> 00:48:07,012
Tim!
757
00:48:07,081 --> 00:48:10,278
- [Lula] Mommy, where's Daddy?
- I don't know, honey.
758
00:48:10,351 --> 00:48:12,945
- [Mikey] I'm thirsty.
- Okay.
759
00:48:14,055 --> 00:48:18,014
- [Debbie] Tim!
- Whoo! I found it!
760
00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:21,892
It's a little sloping incline
down to the...
761
00:48:21,962 --> 00:48:25,193
[yelling, grunting]
762
00:48:25,266 --> 00:48:27,530
This is it?
763
00:48:27,601 --> 00:48:29,694
[Tim] You bet this is it.
764
00:48:30,538 --> 00:48:33,507
This is...
This is wild, huh, kids?
765
00:48:33,574 --> 00:48:37,237
Kind of like a... Like an old
gingerbread house in the woods.
766
00:48:37,311 --> 00:48:38,710
Where's the lake?
767
00:48:39,780 --> 00:48:42,806
I'll tell you what. Why don't
we check out the bunkhouse, okay?
768
00:48:42,883 --> 00:48:46,649
And then you guys can have a contest to
see who finds the lake first, all right?
769
00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:49,484
Winner gets 50 cents.
50 cents. Come on.
770
00:48:49,557 --> 00:48:51,047
Let's check it out.
771
00:48:56,764 --> 00:48:59,289
Okay. Weird smell.
772
00:48:59,366 --> 00:49:01,425
Let's hold our noses. Come on.
773
00:49:02,536 --> 00:49:04,333
It's okay, Mikey, come on in.
774
00:49:04,405 --> 00:49:05,895
[All screaming]
775
00:49:05,973 --> 00:49:07,634
- My God.
- [Tim] It's okay.
776
00:49:07,708 --> 00:49:09,699
Just a little critter. Just...
777
00:49:09,777 --> 00:49:12,940
Don't touch it. He's dead.
778
00:49:17,651 --> 00:49:22,452
Under no circumstances
is this a lake.
779
00:49:25,726 --> 00:49:27,387
Maybe there's a tide.
780
00:49:27,461 --> 00:49:30,328
No one could ever find this lake.
781
00:49:30,397 --> 00:49:33,298
Congratulations,
you saved yourself 50 cents.
782
00:49:33,367 --> 00:49:36,768
[Rustling, footsteps]
783
00:49:37,805 --> 00:49:39,363
[Owl hoots]
784
00:49:42,443 --> 00:49:44,377
[Whispering] What is that?
785
00:50:06,667 --> 00:50:07,998
Tim?
786
00:50:08,068 --> 00:50:10,059
Yes?
787
00:50:11,238 --> 00:50:12,364
Tim?
788
00:50:13,340 --> 00:50:14,807
Yes?
789
00:50:14,875 --> 00:50:16,206
You're Tim?
790
00:50:16,277 --> 00:50:18,370
Yes, I'm Tim.
791
00:50:18,445 --> 00:50:20,675
The J-Man says, "Come quick."
792
00:50:20,748 --> 00:50:22,306
Come quick?
793
00:50:22,383 --> 00:50:24,510
Yeah, come quick.
794
00:50:24,585 --> 00:50:26,280
That's it.
795
00:50:26,353 --> 00:50:30,847
Now, when you see the J-Man,
you tell him we're even.
796
00:50:30,925 --> 00:50:35,225
And Bosco says,
"Up your ass with Mobil gas."
797
00:50:36,463 --> 00:50:37,657
Okay.
798
00:50:37,731 --> 00:50:39,699
What will you tell the J-Man?
799
00:50:39,767 --> 00:50:44,636
I'm going to tell him that Bosco
says we're even
800
00:50:44,705 --> 00:50:46,639
and up your ass with Mobil gas.
801
00:50:46,707 --> 00:50:48,174
Mobil gas.
802
00:50:55,749 --> 00:50:58,217
It's Jack's neighbor,
he needs some help.
803
00:50:58,285 --> 00:51:00,276
Neighbor?
804
00:51:00,354 --> 00:51:02,845
That's right, Bosco,
he's as nice as Jack,
805
00:51:02,923 --> 00:51:05,414
but his car's stuck
so I'm going to help him, okay?
806
00:51:05,492 --> 00:51:07,323
I didn't see any neighbors.
807
00:51:07,394 --> 00:51:09,555
What? You think Bosco would lie?
808
00:51:09,630 --> 00:51:13,066
Why would Bosco lie?
I'll go get him right now if you want.
809
00:51:13,133 --> 00:51:15,158
Okay.
810
00:51:16,070 --> 00:51:17,537
- Okay?
- Yes.
811
00:51:17,605 --> 00:51:20,005
Yes, I'd like to ask him
about this hellhole.
812
00:51:20,074 --> 00:51:21,974
I don't want to bring him in.
He's big.
813
00:51:22,042 --> 00:51:24,101
- You know, the floorboards.
- How big?
814
00:51:24,178 --> 00:51:25,167
- How big?
- Yes.
815
00:51:25,246 --> 00:51:28,443
Big. He's like a bear of a guy
with, like, a little head.
816
00:51:30,117 --> 00:51:31,744
I don't know what that means.
817
00:51:31,819 --> 00:51:34,185
Look, I'm going to go help this guy
818
00:51:34,255 --> 00:51:37,884
because Windsong would sure
as hell help this guy. Okay?
819
00:51:37,958 --> 00:51:41,257
I'm going to be back.
Just go back to sleep, okay?
820
00:51:49,370 --> 00:51:52,897
[Grunting, gasping]
821
00:52:04,385 --> 00:52:07,320
[Phone rings inside]
822
00:52:11,225 --> 00:52:13,853
- What's wrong?
- It's for you.
823
00:52:14,928 --> 00:52:16,919
Don't hassle me about crumbs, man,
824
00:52:16,997 --> 00:52:19,830
because I am on
the edge of the edge.
825
00:52:21,502 --> 00:52:22,560
Hello?
826
00:52:22,636 --> 00:52:24,763
[Nick] Natalie stormed out
of the bedroom.
827
00:52:24,838 --> 00:52:27,864
We had a terrible fight.
You got to come over here now.
828
00:52:27,941 --> 00:52:29,841
I know you got your Army pal
over there.
829
00:52:29,910 --> 00:52:32,504
I didn't know you were in the Army.
If I can come over...
830
00:52:32,579 --> 00:52:34,843
No, I'll come there.
831
00:52:34,915 --> 00:52:37,577
- Okay, good. Thanks.
- No, no, no. I'll come over.
832
00:52:37,651 --> 00:52:40,085
[Tim] I'll come there.
Here I come.
833
00:52:40,154 --> 00:52:42,349
I got to go across the street
for a second.
834
00:52:42,423 --> 00:52:44,983
That is incorrect. Follow me.
835
00:52:48,429 --> 00:52:50,920
This was no picnic, let me tell you.
836
00:52:50,998 --> 00:52:53,831
I had an '88 Ford flatbed
837
00:52:53,901 --> 00:52:56,426
all lined up
with a brand-new winch,
838
00:52:56,503 --> 00:52:59,597
but I fried it during the hot-wire,
goddamn it.
839
00:52:59,673 --> 00:53:03,575
Good thing Monk passed out,
or I'd never got this baby.
840
00:53:05,346 --> 00:53:06,938
Whoa.
841
00:53:07,014 --> 00:53:10,040
What in the shit is this?
What is it?
842
00:53:10,984 --> 00:53:15,683
It's winches, hoists, pulleys, blocks
and tackles. This kind of thing.
843
00:53:15,756 --> 00:53:19,385
You know how I got the idea? You know
those big things on Easter Island?
844
00:53:19,460 --> 00:53:21,485
- Easter Island?
- Huh?
845
00:53:21,562 --> 00:53:22,654
Easter Island?
846
00:53:22,730 --> 00:53:26,962
With this device, I can place that horse
on top of any object.
847
00:53:27,034 --> 00:53:29,696
That truck's too high.
You won't get the horse in there.
848
00:53:29,770 --> 00:53:33,206
You're like a specially trained
super agent. You know that?
849
00:53:33,273 --> 00:53:35,969
Why do you think I called you?
I was so pissed off.
850
00:53:36,043 --> 00:53:40,241
I nearly climbed back into your house
and smashed some plates.
851
00:53:41,448 --> 00:53:44,383
Stand warned, okay, stand warned.
852
00:53:44,451 --> 00:53:47,852
I have to go over there for a minute
or you don't get your money.
853
00:53:47,921 --> 00:53:49,411
- Do you want your money?
- Yes.
854
00:53:49,490 --> 00:53:53,517
Then put that horse on top of my van.
There's rope and tarp in the garage.
855
00:53:53,594 --> 00:53:56,722
- Put the horse on the van?
- Put the horse on the van.
856
00:53:56,797 --> 00:53:58,628
- Rope.
- Yeah, and be quiet.
857
00:53:58,699 --> 00:54:00,132
It's simple, okay?
858
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,395
- All right? I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
859
00:54:04,104 --> 00:54:05,366
Hello, Mr. Tim.
860
00:54:05,439 --> 00:54:08,306
You're looking very sprightly
for the hour.
861
00:54:08,375 --> 00:54:12,072
We go up the stairs, please.
Right this way.
862
00:54:16,183 --> 00:54:18,310
I've never been in this part.
863
00:54:18,385 --> 00:54:21,946
They are practicing for the tournament.
864
00:54:26,827 --> 00:54:28,055
[Woman] Come on!
865
00:54:28,128 --> 00:54:29,561
Yes!
866
00:54:29,630 --> 00:54:31,689
Who's your nanny?!
867
00:54:39,973 --> 00:54:41,463
Hey.
868
00:54:41,542 --> 00:54:43,271
[Nick] Come.
869
00:54:45,712 --> 00:54:47,339
Come here.
870
00:54:48,248 --> 00:54:50,512
Right here, come on.
871
00:54:51,718 --> 00:54:55,085
You're incredible, do you know that?
You're an incredible friend.
872
00:54:55,155 --> 00:54:56,486
[Loud clanging]
873
00:54:56,557 --> 00:54:59,993
- What the hell was that?
- They're bowling next door.
874
00:55:00,060 --> 00:55:03,427
Getting ready for your tournament.
They're hitting strikes.
875
00:55:03,497 --> 00:55:05,829
- She's been blaming me for Corky.
- Who?
876
00:55:05,899 --> 00:55:10,427
Natalie, she just kept blaming me
for Corky and making me feel guilty.
877
00:55:10,504 --> 00:55:12,597
Then she starts up with the shit thing.
878
00:55:12,673 --> 00:55:14,800
How do I know where the shit goes?!
879
00:55:14,875 --> 00:55:18,367
Then I tell her, "I'm going to Rome
tomorrow," and she freaks out!
880
00:55:18,445 --> 00:55:22,142
She has a complete flip out!
She flips out the room!
881
00:55:22,216 --> 00:55:24,241
- Where'd she go?
- I don't know.
882
00:55:24,318 --> 00:55:27,287
- Some other wing.
- [Banging, clanking]
883
00:55:27,354 --> 00:55:30,687
But, buddy...
this Italy thing is huge.
884
00:55:30,757 --> 00:55:33,624
It could seriously...
It could mean literally billions.
885
00:55:33,694 --> 00:55:37,653
You know what I think this is?
I think you just got to get some sleep.
886
00:55:37,731 --> 00:55:41,565
You got to shut everything down.
Get under the covers. Come on.
887
00:55:41,635 --> 00:55:44,331
Get under the covers.
Don't listen to anything.
888
00:55:44,404 --> 00:55:47,737
- Sometimes you think you hear things...
- You're a great friend.
889
00:55:50,511 --> 00:55:54,242
Sleep and it's going to be different
and don't wake up. Okay?
890
00:55:58,252 --> 00:55:59,913
[J-Man] (music) Valderi
891
00:55:59,987 --> 00:56:01,511
(music) Valdera
892
00:56:01,588 --> 00:56:03,112
(music) Valderi
893
00:56:03,190 --> 00:56:06,318
(music) Valdera ha ha ha...
894
00:56:06,393 --> 00:56:08,327
(music) Valderi
895
00:56:09,496 --> 00:56:10,963
Et cetera.
896
00:56:11,031 --> 00:56:12,658
What about here? Right here?
897
00:56:12,733 --> 00:56:14,997
You kidding? There's towns around.
898
00:56:15,068 --> 00:56:17,298
You want somebody else
finding my horse?
899
00:56:18,405 --> 00:56:20,236
There'll be towns everywhere.
900
00:56:20,307 --> 00:56:23,140
Hey, six months I drove
a yogurt truck, okay?
901
00:56:23,210 --> 00:56:25,007
This is my territory, Jack.
902
00:56:25,078 --> 00:56:27,103
(music) [man singing Valderi]
903
00:56:40,561 --> 00:56:42,688
What do you got up there?
904
00:56:43,630 --> 00:56:45,222
A sofa.
905
00:56:45,299 --> 00:56:47,893
What kind of sofa?
906
00:56:47,968 --> 00:56:49,560
Homemade.
907
00:56:57,311 --> 00:57:01,077
- Oh, my God. What is this?
- Troopers.
908
00:57:01,148 --> 00:57:03,708
Oh, no.
909
00:57:08,188 --> 00:57:09,655
The bridge is out.
910
00:57:09,723 --> 00:57:12,783
Follow the detour along the river
to the next bridge, all right?
911
00:57:12,859 --> 00:57:14,053
Thank you very much.
912
00:57:14,127 --> 00:57:16,095
- Have a good night.
- Let's go.
913
00:57:16,163 --> 00:57:18,654
He didn't notice the horse.
914
00:57:18,732 --> 00:57:23,260
Smokey didn't even notice
that we got a horse on the roof.
915
00:57:29,610 --> 00:57:33,239
- I can't believe he didn't see it.
- [J-Man] Dumb Smokey.
916
00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:48,151
- [Tim] How about right here?
- No, it's not good.
917
00:57:48,228 --> 00:57:50,662
- What's wrong with here?
- It doesn't feel right.
918
00:57:50,731 --> 00:57:52,722
I hope it's very soon.
919
00:57:52,799 --> 00:57:56,257
I got to be back there.
It's going to be light out.
920
00:57:56,336 --> 00:58:00,067
They're asleep and don't know you left.
I'm doing you a favor doing this.
921
00:58:00,140 --> 00:58:02,199
How about here?
What's wrong with here?
922
00:58:02,275 --> 00:58:05,005
I dig up the horse, I haul it up,
I invent everything.
923
00:58:05,078 --> 00:58:07,569
Why do we have to do
what you want to do?
924
00:58:07,648 --> 00:58:10,116
- Corky's new home.
- This is not good for me.
925
00:58:10,183 --> 00:58:12,117
Forget it. This is it, right here.
Okay?
926
00:58:12,185 --> 00:58:13,311
[J-Man] Bad vibe.
927
00:58:16,957 --> 00:58:19,425
[Tim] Oh, no! He's gone!
928
00:58:21,762 --> 00:58:23,286
Where'd he go?!
929
00:58:23,363 --> 00:58:26,332
Did you hear anything?
Like a thump?
930
00:58:27,401 --> 00:58:29,596
Where did he go?
931
00:58:29,670 --> 00:58:31,763
Shit!
932
00:58:31,838 --> 00:58:35,274
- [Tim] Did you check the knots?
- [J-Man] Knots? Who knows knots?
933
00:58:35,342 --> 00:58:38,277
- Not you.
- You know, I'm not Popeye.
934
00:58:38,345 --> 00:58:41,644
How did we not hear? How do you
not hear a horse fall off a car?
935
00:58:41,715 --> 00:58:44,206
Maybe he's not dead.
Maybe he ran away.
936
00:58:44,284 --> 00:58:48,380
It's raining so hard,
the horse might have fallen off
937
00:58:48,455 --> 00:58:51,356
and floated, who knows, into a ditch.
938
00:58:52,359 --> 00:58:55,817
There's a river that runs
along this road. He could be in it.
939
00:58:55,896 --> 00:58:58,456
Corky could be heading
for the open sea.
940
00:59:13,847 --> 00:59:16,873
- [Cracking]
- [Debbie groans]
941
00:59:16,950 --> 00:59:20,613
My God, honey.
What time is it?
942
00:59:20,687 --> 00:59:22,814
It's okay.
Go back to sleep.
943
00:59:22,889 --> 00:59:24,584
Yeah?
944
00:59:24,658 --> 00:59:26,592
Did you solve the problem?
945
00:59:27,728 --> 00:59:29,696
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
946
00:59:29,763 --> 00:59:31,458
Actually...
947
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,465
I think I did.
948
00:59:36,470 --> 00:59:41,498
[Tim] (music) Gonna be a bright
Bright sunshiny day
949
00:59:41,575 --> 00:59:43,600
Whoo!
950
00:59:43,677 --> 00:59:48,239
(music) Gonna be a bright
Bright sunshiny day
951
00:59:48,315 --> 00:59:49,748
[phone rings]
952
00:59:49,816 --> 00:59:53,081
- [Whistling]
- [Debbie] Timmy! Telephone!
953
00:59:53,153 --> 00:59:53,253
[Melodic dog bark doorbell]
954
00:59:53,253 --> 00:59:55,619
[Melodic dog bark doorbell]
955
01:00:01,595 --> 01:00:03,256
Good morning, Mr. Tim.
956
01:00:03,330 --> 01:00:04,592
I must say...
957
01:00:04,664 --> 01:00:07,861
you're looking fit as a fiddle
this morning, Mr. Tim.
958
01:00:07,934 --> 01:00:10,368
Thanks.
I hear Mr. Nick wants to see me.
959
01:00:10,437 --> 01:00:11,961
Yes, I know.
960
01:00:12,038 --> 01:00:15,132
He's running in the woods.
961
01:00:15,242 --> 01:00:18,336
I talked to the guys over at 3M.
I know you got canned.
962
01:00:18,411 --> 01:00:21,073
You've met Pete, right?
My trainer.
963
01:00:21,148 --> 01:00:24,083
Don't feel funny around Pete.
I got no secrets from Pete.
964
01:00:24,151 --> 01:00:26,051
- Do I, Pete?
- I don't think so.
965
01:00:26,119 --> 01:00:28,587
So here's the deal:
Buddy boy...
966
01:00:28,655 --> 01:00:32,386
that my little hearty
hi-ho Silver routine
967
01:00:32,459 --> 01:00:36,418
affected you like that,
all I can say is, I am such a jerk.
968
01:00:36,496 --> 01:00:38,623
But it's the best thing
that ever happened,
969
01:00:38,698 --> 01:00:41,667
because now I'll go kick ass in Rome.
And guess what?
970
01:00:41,735 --> 01:00:45,432
You, you unemployed bum,
you'll come kick ass with me.
971
01:00:45,505 --> 01:00:47,302
I want us to be partners.
972
01:00:47,374 --> 01:00:49,842
I want us to be equal again, man.
973
01:00:49,910 --> 01:00:53,004
Why not? I mean, for crying out loud,
I've got a Pete.
974
01:00:53,079 --> 01:00:56,913
Why shouldn't you have a Pete?
Who wouldn't like having a Pete?
975
01:00:56,983 --> 01:01:00,180
So this is the deal.
From now on, you and me, 50l50.
976
01:01:00,253 --> 01:01:04,019
- 50l50?
- That's right. 50l50.
977
01:01:04,090 --> 01:01:07,787
I'll talk to my lawyer. Why didn't
I think of it sooner? It's awesome!
978
01:01:07,861 --> 01:01:11,627
Get the hell out of here,
the limo leaves in an hour and a half!
979
01:01:11,698 --> 01:01:14,496
Buddy boy! Let's go, buddy boy!
980
01:01:15,502 --> 01:01:19,233
All right. Come on. Now, pump it up.
I want full cardio blast now.
981
01:01:19,306 --> 01:01:21,501
- Let's go.
- Don't be shy.
982
01:01:22,409 --> 01:01:24,274
There you go.
983
01:01:25,045 --> 01:01:27,536
No, keep going! Keep it there!
984
01:01:30,317 --> 01:01:31,579
Crampers.
985
01:01:31,651 --> 01:01:33,676
- You all right?
- Crampers.
986
01:01:33,753 --> 01:01:35,914
I don't know, honey.
Do you want to do this?
987
01:01:35,989 --> 01:01:38,389
I mean, do we want to be part
of the shit industry?
988
01:01:38,458 --> 01:01:41,291
What about the heart of the heart
of the heart of the heart?
989
01:01:41,361 --> 01:01:45,263
I don't think this conflicts with that.
I mean, you know, there's...
990
01:01:45,332 --> 01:01:49,894
It's a lot of money and the heart
of the heart, and they're both...
991
01:01:51,571 --> 01:01:54,165
Still have the heart
with a lot of money.
992
01:01:54,241 --> 01:01:57,142
- I think. You know.
- You know what I think?
993
01:01:57,210 --> 01:02:01,044
I think I know what we should do.
We should just try it.
994
01:02:01,114 --> 01:02:02,741
- Try it!
- Yes.
995
01:02:02,816 --> 01:02:03,805
- Try it.
- Try it.
996
01:02:03,884 --> 01:02:05,476
Try it.
997
01:02:05,552 --> 01:02:08,077
- Try it. See how it feels.
- Try it.
998
01:02:08,154 --> 01:02:10,019
[Both giggling]
999
01:02:10,090 --> 01:02:12,558
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
1000
01:02:15,362 --> 01:02:18,354
- Bye, Daddy.
- We'll miss you.
1001
01:02:18,431 --> 01:02:20,422
- We miss you already.
- I'll be home soon.
1002
01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:22,866
[Continue shouting]
1003
01:02:33,914 --> 01:02:36,075
Good to see you, captain.
1004
01:02:44,756 --> 01:02:47,418
You know what I was thinking?
We should target zoos.
1005
01:02:47,492 --> 01:02:48,823
Thank you, Denise. Zoos?
1006
01:02:48,893 --> 01:02:51,794
Yeah, zoos. I mean, come on,
they're full of poop.
1007
01:02:51,863 --> 01:02:54,889
I popped on the Internet
just before we got on the plane.
1008
01:02:54,966 --> 01:02:58,629
Did you know that an elephant goes,
like 100 pounds a day?
1009
01:02:58,703 --> 01:03:02,799
Times that by seven, that's 700 pounds
of dung a week for one elephant.
1010
01:03:02,874 --> 01:03:05,775
There's got to be thousands of zoos
in the world.
1011
01:03:05,843 --> 01:03:09,870
That is really very good. Zoos.
1012
01:03:09,947 --> 01:03:11,938
- I got another one for you.
- [Nick] Yeah?
1013
01:03:12,016 --> 01:03:14,883
Travel industry.
We get into the travel industry.
1014
01:03:14,952 --> 01:03:18,115
I'm talking about little
travel-size Vapoorize.
1015
01:03:18,189 --> 01:03:21,454
You mean,
like the cute little shampoo bottles?
1016
01:03:21,526 --> 01:03:24,654
- Exactly.
- My God, that's so simple and awesome!
1017
01:03:24,729 --> 01:03:27,095
You're on a trip.
You're walking through Venice.
1018
01:03:27,165 --> 01:03:29,827
You step in some dog doo.
So, what do you do?
1019
01:03:29,901 --> 01:03:32,631
- You take out a travel-size Vapoorize.
- That's it!
1020
01:03:32,703 --> 01:03:35,297
A little Velcro holster
you put on your belt.
1021
01:03:35,373 --> 01:03:38,467
Right next to your cell phone,
your pager, your Vapoorize.
1022
01:03:38,543 --> 01:03:41,740
You can walk the dog handsfree
and not worry about the Vapoorize.
1023
01:03:41,813 --> 01:03:42,905
I love a holster.
1024
01:03:42,980 --> 01:03:45,278
- Accessorize with Vapoorize.
- Hold on.
1025
01:03:45,349 --> 01:03:47,647
Hold on. Let me take it from here.
1026
01:03:47,718 --> 01:03:50,016
(music) You're walkin' along
1027
01:03:50,087 --> 01:03:51,486
(music) A-doodley doo
1028
01:03:51,556 --> 01:03:54,787
(music) All of a sudden
You stepped in poo!
1029
01:03:54,859 --> 01:03:57,089
(music) You don't know what to do
1030
01:03:57,161 --> 01:04:00,130
- What do you do?
- I don't know what to do.
1031
01:04:00,198 --> 01:04:01,631
[Imitates drum]
1032
01:04:01,699 --> 01:04:04,668
(music) Vapoorize, Vapoorize
1033
01:04:04,735 --> 01:04:08,569
- (music) Mountain-scented Vapoorize
- (music) doogah-doogah-doogah Vapoorize
1034
01:04:08,639 --> 01:04:10,675
- What is the doogah?
- I thought there would be drums.
1035
01:04:10,675 --> 01:04:12,370
- What is the doogah?
- I thought there would be drums.
1036
01:04:20,985 --> 01:04:23,385
(music) [Can't Help Myself plays in Italian]
1037
01:04:31,395 --> 01:04:33,989
[Nick] Come on. Look at this place.
1038
01:04:34,065 --> 01:04:35,999
Go check out your bedroom.
1039
01:04:40,538 --> 01:04:42,199
Whoo!
1040
01:04:48,279 --> 01:04:49,439
Wow.
1041
01:04:53,417 --> 01:04:55,317
[Cheering]
1042
01:04:55,386 --> 01:04:56,876
[Gasping]
1043
01:05:00,157 --> 01:05:01,624
[Speaks Italian]
1044
01:05:04,395 --> 01:05:06,659
[Lambs bleating]
1045
01:05:11,469 --> 01:05:13,061
[Nick] Vapoorize.
1046
01:05:18,643 --> 01:05:20,076
[Gasping]
1047
01:05:20,144 --> 01:05:21,406
[Laughing]
1048
01:05:24,448 --> 01:05:26,609
[Vapoorize commercial in Italian]
1049
01:05:36,761 --> 01:05:38,228
Shopping.
1050
01:05:38,296 --> 01:05:40,491
Gucci.
1051
01:05:41,265 --> 01:05:42,789
Here.
1052
01:05:43,501 --> 01:05:46,265
[Tim] This'll look great in the yard
next to the bug tent.
1053
01:05:46,337 --> 01:05:50,467
Definitely. We'll take it.
It's great. Pay the man.
1054
01:05:50,541 --> 01:05:54,238
[Nick] It makes the whole house.
It makes the yard. With the sound.
1055
01:05:54,312 --> 01:05:57,440
With the sound. It's ridiculous,
but that's what I love about it.
1056
01:05:57,515 --> 01:05:58,573
I like this.
1057
01:05:58,649 --> 01:06:01,812
...with the Dow off 11 and
the NASDAQ up five and a half.
1058
01:06:01,886 --> 01:06:04,582
A rather sluggish day on Wall Street.
1059
01:06:04,655 --> 01:06:08,318
On the international front, investors
are watching Vanderpark Enterprises.
1060
01:06:08,392 --> 01:06:12,089
CEO, Nicholas Vanderpark and newly
appointed partner, Tim Dingman...
1061
01:06:12,163 --> 01:06:14,996
arrive in Italy to introduce to Europe
1062
01:06:15,066 --> 01:06:20,436
their complete line of fecal-removing
product that's been so successful here.
1063
01:06:20,504 --> 01:06:23,166
The American entrepreneurs
have reason to be hopeful.
1064
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:26,835
They were greeted with great enthusiasm
everywhere and fanfare.
1065
01:06:26,911 --> 01:06:31,007
Later, they'll be feted at a banquet
to be held in the presidential palace.
1066
01:06:31,082 --> 01:06:34,074
[Speaking in Italian]
1067
01:06:39,523 --> 01:06:42,890
He says, "I noticed
when we climbed into the tub
1068
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,919
"our three penises were quite similar
in size and bulk."
1069
01:06:46,998 --> 01:06:49,296
[Continues in Italian]
1070
01:06:51,035 --> 01:06:54,266
He say, "And I thought to myself,
1071
01:06:54,338 --> 01:06:56,670
"'Good. Good."'
1072
01:06:58,142 --> 01:07:00,337
Envy is a funny, funny thing.
1073
01:07:00,411 --> 01:07:02,675
[In Italian]
1074
01:07:04,682 --> 01:07:08,379
He says, "I remember when
I was a teenager,
1075
01:07:08,452 --> 01:07:11,785
"my friend Armando and I spent
the summer in New York.
1076
01:07:11,856 --> 01:07:13,790
"A sweet time of life."
1077
01:07:13,858 --> 01:07:16,326
[In Italian]
1078
01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:25,000
The minister, he says,
1079
01:07:25,069 --> 01:07:29,369
"I must tell you, my friend Armando
had a hog like a freight train."
1080
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,931
[Interpreter] What a hog.
1081
01:07:32,009 --> 01:07:33,704
[In Italian]
1082
01:07:38,983 --> 01:07:41,508
He says,
"And I must tell you secretly,
1083
01:07:41,585 --> 01:07:44,452
"Armando's freight-train-sized manhood
1084
01:07:44,522 --> 01:07:48,481
"made me, with a regular-size one,
quite miserable."
1085
01:07:51,562 --> 01:07:54,690
"Not all the time miserable,
of course, but sometimes."
1086
01:07:54,765 --> 01:07:56,426
[All laughing]
1087
01:07:56,500 --> 01:07:58,764
- [Phone rings]
- [In Italian]
1088
01:08:05,042 --> 01:08:08,409
[Interpreter] This call has been
transferred to you.
1089
01:08:08,479 --> 01:08:10,606
Thank you.
1090
01:08:12,283 --> 01:08:13,341
Hello?
1091
01:08:13,417 --> 01:08:15,544
Turbo Everyman, my ass.
1092
01:08:15,619 --> 01:08:19,248
[J-Man] Where do you get off at?
I bought you drinks.
1093
01:08:19,323 --> 01:08:22,520
You vacation in my bungalow
and now you go jump ship.
1094
01:08:22,593 --> 01:08:24,925
Screw Robin Hood, you hear me?
1095
01:08:24,995 --> 01:08:28,226
Screw the Merry Men.
You're a stinko pinko.
1096
01:08:28,299 --> 01:08:30,062
Turncoat!
1097
01:08:30,134 --> 01:08:32,227
Here's what I do, Mr. Traitor.
1098
01:08:32,303 --> 01:08:36,239
Remember Lester? He pumped our gas
when we moved the sofa.
1099
01:08:36,307 --> 01:08:38,707
Not a tooth in his head, nice fella.
1100
01:08:38,776 --> 01:08:42,769
- Remember him now?
- I do. Yes.
1101
01:08:42,847 --> 01:08:48,217
Good. For $50,000
Lester keeps thinking it's a sofa.
1102
01:08:48,285 --> 01:08:50,651
And me and him don't spill the beans
1103
01:08:50,721 --> 01:08:53,554
to your hoity-toity pal
across the street.
1104
01:08:53,624 --> 01:08:57,924
Let's be very clear on this:
I want $50,000...
1105
01:08:57,995 --> 01:09:01,158
or I tell your friend
you killed his horse.
1106
01:09:20,851 --> 01:09:22,819
Debbie? Deb, I'm home.
1107
01:09:22,887 --> 01:09:26,584
Sweetheart, I've been liposucked.
1108
01:09:26,657 --> 01:09:30,115
Can you tell? Can you?
Does it look good?
1109
01:09:30,194 --> 01:09:34,597
Dr. Weitzman is supposed to be a genius
and it didn't even really hurt.
1110
01:09:34,665 --> 01:09:38,601
And that is not all.
Come. I am so excited.
1111
01:09:39,603 --> 01:09:41,867
Here's a little gift I bought for us.
1112
01:09:41,939 --> 01:09:44,806
[Debbie] A little 50l50 surprise.
1113
01:09:46,443 --> 01:09:48,673
- My big international partner.
- Debbie.
1114
01:09:48,746 --> 01:09:51,180
- Let's do it on the laundry.
- Where are the kids?!
1115
01:09:51,248 --> 01:09:53,443
At Mother's, honey. It's just us.
1116
01:09:53,517 --> 01:09:58,011
Come lie on the warm pile.
It's all clean out of the dryer.
1117
01:09:58,088 --> 01:10:01,057
I will lie with you
after I tell you something important.
1118
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:05,960
I got drunk and by mistake killed Corky.
I buried him in the swimming pool hole.
1119
01:10:06,030 --> 01:10:09,124
The pool guy,
he's actually some bum I met at a bar.
1120
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,827
[Natalie] Nick? Where does it go?
1121
01:10:10,901 --> 01:10:12,766
- [Nick] What?
- [Natalie] The shit.
1122
01:10:12,836 --> 01:10:14,497
- Where does the shit go?
- [Nick] Up.
1123
01:10:14,572 --> 01:10:17,234
Up is not good enough.
You'll have to do better than up.
1124
01:10:17,308 --> 01:10:20,402
- [Nick] Up... and out.
- [Natalie] Out where?!
1125
01:10:20,477 --> 01:10:22,308
[Nick] Up and out. Out. Up and out.
1126
01:10:22,379 --> 01:10:24,506
- [Natalie] Up and out?
- [Nick] Up and out.
1127
01:10:24,582 --> 01:10:26,880
The bum wants $50,000
or he'll tell Nick.
1128
01:10:26,951 --> 01:10:29,920
- Then we won't get a chance to be rich.
- [Timer buzzes]
1129
01:10:29,987 --> 01:10:32,251
[Teary] Oh, my God.
1130
01:10:32,323 --> 01:10:33,847
Yes!
1131
01:10:33,924 --> 01:10:35,516
Go and pay the bum.
1132
01:10:35,593 --> 01:10:37,720
- Go pay the bum now.
- Go pay the bum?!
1133
01:10:38,562 --> 01:10:40,860
- Honey, I love you.
- I love you too.
1134
01:10:40,931 --> 01:10:42,558
- Bye.
- Oh!
1135
01:10:42,633 --> 01:10:43,725
What?
1136
01:10:43,801 --> 01:10:46,793
You don't know this guy.
He's not like other people, he's...
1137
01:10:46,870 --> 01:10:49,100
What if we pay him
and then he wants more?
1138
01:10:49,173 --> 01:10:52,040
Then we will give him more.
1139
01:10:52,109 --> 01:10:53,599
What if he wants more again?!
1140
01:10:53,677 --> 01:10:57,078
We'll give him more money because
we'll have enough money to give him.
1141
01:10:57,147 --> 01:11:00,275
But it'll never end with him.
He'll be in our lives forever.
1142
01:11:00,351 --> 01:11:03,616
Tim, if he tells Nick,
it'll all be over.
1143
01:11:03,687 --> 01:11:05,746
You know, what else can we do?
1144
01:11:07,791 --> 01:11:09,782
We fess up.
1145
01:11:11,128 --> 01:11:13,790
- Fess up?
- Yeah.
1146
01:11:13,864 --> 01:11:16,924
Yeah. No, no, no. We fess up.
We fess up. We tell Nick.
1147
01:11:17,001 --> 01:11:19,128
We go and ask for forgiveness.
1148
01:11:19,203 --> 01:11:20,670
- Forgiveness?
- Yes.
1149
01:11:20,738 --> 01:11:24,196
- Honey, you killed his horse!
- I'm telling him everything.
1150
01:11:24,275 --> 01:11:27,767
No, sweetheart! Please.
Please don't do it to me.
1151
01:11:27,845 --> 01:11:31,906
I love my car in the garage.
It's got heated seats.
1152
01:11:31,982 --> 01:11:34,644
And I've got shoes. I've got bags.
1153
01:11:34,718 --> 01:11:36,879
- [Nick] Knock, knock.
- Clothes.
1154
01:11:36,954 --> 01:11:39,548
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
1155
01:11:39,623 --> 01:11:41,284
Look at you two.
1156
01:11:41,358 --> 01:11:45,556
God, I'm so envious of you!
You've got to give Natalie a talk.
1157
01:11:45,629 --> 01:11:48,860
She's locked herself in the bathroom
and I want what you have so bad!
1158
01:11:48,932 --> 01:11:51,560
- I want some of that!
- Okay.
1159
01:11:51,635 --> 01:11:56,334
[Whispering] Shh! Don't say a word.
Not a word. Not a word. Okay?
1160
01:11:56,407 --> 01:11:59,535
[Natalie] Everywhere I go,
they yell, "Where does the shit go?"
1161
01:11:59,610 --> 01:12:01,874
And we don't know!
What if my opponent's right?
1162
01:12:01,945 --> 01:12:04,277
- What if we are polluting?
- [Debbie] Natalie...
1163
01:12:04,348 --> 01:12:09,115
the only thing this guy Shaunessey's
got going for him is your own guilt.
1164
01:12:09,186 --> 01:12:10,676
Guilt that you're wealthy.
1165
01:12:10,754 --> 01:12:15,589
You know what, we're partners now
and we have money too.
1166
01:12:15,659 --> 01:12:17,718
You know what we'll do with ours?
1167
01:12:17,795 --> 01:12:22,926
We're going to sponsor the biggest rally
for you that this town has ever seen.
1168
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,696
[Debbie] Then we'll throw out
this challenge:
1169
01:12:25,769 --> 01:12:31,901
We'll say that if anyone can say
that Vapoorize does damage to anything,
1170
01:12:31,975 --> 01:12:35,035
then Natalie Vanderpark will cease
to be a candidate.
1171
01:12:41,151 --> 01:12:45,019
May I suggest
we put on our dancing shoes?
1172
01:12:45,089 --> 01:12:46,647
[Debbie squeals]
1173
01:12:46,724 --> 01:12:50,524
[Nick] Honey! I love you.
1174
01:12:50,594 --> 01:12:53,119
[J-Man] So how was the flight?
Was it enjoyable?
1175
01:12:53,197 --> 01:12:56,098
Yeah, it was fine. It was very smooth.
Everything went fine.
1176
01:12:56,166 --> 01:12:58,999
Here's what I got to tell you.
We'll pay you the money, okay?
1177
01:12:59,069 --> 01:13:00,730
We got it all worked out.
1178
01:13:00,804 --> 01:13:03,602
That is sensational news,
my little gypsy roving friend.
1179
01:13:03,674 --> 01:13:07,701
But I've revised my thinking
about the $50,000 grand thing.
1180
01:13:07,778 --> 01:13:12,306
I can't accept that.
I mean, what are we, animals?
1181
01:13:12,383 --> 01:13:14,749
- What? No, we're not animals.
- No, of course not.
1182
01:13:14,818 --> 01:13:18,345
What we are is pals.
You slept in my bunk.
1183
01:13:18,422 --> 01:13:21,414
I ate some of your crackers.
We sang in the rain.
1184
01:13:21,492 --> 01:13:22,789
(music) Valderi
1185
01:13:22,860 --> 01:13:24,293
(music) Valdera
1186
01:13:25,729 --> 01:13:27,458
(music) Valderi
1187
01:13:28,132 --> 01:13:29,759
(music) Valdera ha ha ha...
1188
01:13:29,833 --> 01:13:31,425
Okay.
1189
01:13:33,203 --> 01:13:35,637
(music) My knapsack on my back
1190
01:13:35,706 --> 01:13:38,106
- Yes, I remember.
- That's when we were buddies.
1191
01:13:38,175 --> 01:13:40,336
Last week? Yeah. I remember.
1192
01:13:40,411 --> 01:13:45,007
So, what I'm saying is to hell
with the flat cash payout.
1193
01:13:45,082 --> 01:13:46,913
I say let's be partners.
1194
01:13:46,984 --> 01:13:48,849
- Partners?
- Why not?
1195
01:13:48,919 --> 01:13:51,080
- What do you mean "partners"?
- You, me...
1196
01:13:51,155 --> 01:13:54,090
your other so-called friend
in a cozy little triumvirate.
1197
01:13:54,158 --> 01:13:55,591
Am I using the word correctly?
1198
01:13:55,659 --> 01:13:59,220
Listen to me. We're not partners, okay?
How can we be partners?
1199
01:13:59,296 --> 01:14:01,764
We'll iron out the details
when I come over later.
1200
01:14:01,832 --> 01:14:04,392
- No.
- This evening. Who knows exactly when.
1201
01:14:04,468 --> 01:14:06,129
- You're not coming over here.
- Yes.
1202
01:14:06,203 --> 01:14:09,764
And don't you worry, buddy partner.
I'll smooth out the rough parts.
1203
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:13,332
- You want to talk? Where are you?
- I'm coming over.
1204
01:14:13,410 --> 01:14:16,072
- You're not coming over.
- Don't you worry, buddy roll.
1205
01:14:16,146 --> 01:14:17,977
We'll put pen to paper. Bye-bye.
1206
01:14:18,048 --> 01:14:19,447
- Listen to me.
- Bye-bye.
1207
01:14:19,516 --> 01:14:22,417
There are no rough parts to smooth...
What? Hello?
1208
01:14:22,486 --> 01:14:24,420
[Dial tone]
1209
01:14:26,490 --> 01:14:27,957
Oh, God.
1210
01:14:28,025 --> 01:14:31,722
All right. I got to tell Nick.
I'm just going to tell him.
1211
01:14:31,795 --> 01:14:33,820
(music) [up-tempo salsa music]
1212
01:14:38,268 --> 01:14:40,736
[Nick and Natalie whooping]
1213
01:14:48,979 --> 01:14:52,710
Come on, honey.
Start with your hips.
1214
01:14:53,517 --> 01:14:55,109
[Natalie] Come on.
1215
01:14:55,185 --> 01:14:56,709
[Nick] Whoo!
1216
01:15:14,571 --> 01:15:14,671
[Nanny] Mr. Vanderpark!
Mr. Vanderpark!
1217
01:15:14,671 --> 01:15:18,437
[Nanny] Mr. Vanderpark!
Mr. Vanderpark!
1218
01:15:18,509 --> 01:15:21,376
- The merry-go-round is acting up again.
- [Nellie crying]
1219
01:15:21,445 --> 01:15:23,504
[Music halts]
1220
01:15:23,580 --> 01:15:26,549
I hate that thing. I hate it.
1221
01:15:26,617 --> 01:15:29,484
Timmy, I'm sorry,
we got to deal with it.
1222
01:15:32,055 --> 01:15:33,920
(music) [sped-up music]
1223
01:15:33,991 --> 01:15:36,983
[Tim] Nick, I gotta talk to you.
I did something really stupid.
1224
01:15:37,060 --> 01:15:40,518
You won't believe what happened.
The stupidest, most ridiculous thing.
1225
01:15:40,597 --> 01:15:42,292
That wife of yours was incredible.
1226
01:15:42,366 --> 01:15:45,995
But I don't care how much money
we make, don't buy one of these.
1227
01:15:46,069 --> 01:15:49,232
It's junk.
It just keeps speeding up for no reason.
1228
01:15:49,306 --> 01:15:53,902
- Nick, I got to talk to you.
- And the onloff button's in the middle!
1229
01:15:53,977 --> 01:15:57,071
- [Tim] I did a horrible thing.
- [Nick] The thing's in the middle.
1230
01:15:57,147 --> 01:16:00,173
- Here goes. All right, come on.
- Nick!
1231
01:16:00,651 --> 01:16:01,948
[Yelling]
1232
01:16:06,657 --> 01:16:09,057
- [Nick yells]
- Nick!
1233
01:16:12,429 --> 01:16:13,760
[Moaning]
1234
01:16:21,638 --> 01:16:24,072
[Terrified cries]
1235
01:16:25,676 --> 01:16:29,134
- Hang on!
- I can't hold on much longer!
1236
01:16:29,212 --> 01:16:31,271
[Screaming]
1237
01:16:31,348 --> 01:16:32,975
- [Thudding]
- [Gasping]
1238
01:16:37,287 --> 01:16:39,278
- Nick, are you okay?
- Ribs.
1239
01:16:39,356 --> 01:16:41,415
[Grimacing] Yeah. No, I'm fine.
1240
01:16:41,491 --> 01:16:42,856
Goddamned...
1241
01:16:42,926 --> 01:16:46,726
Bastard, bitch merry-go-round.
Stupid merry-go-round!
1242
01:16:46,797 --> 01:16:50,233
- I got to talk to you.
- Stupid, crappy, stupid thing.
1243
01:16:50,300 --> 01:16:52,962
I've been feeling guilty
for a long time.
1244
01:16:53,036 --> 01:16:56,563
- It's impossible to turn it off.
- I did something really stupid.
1245
01:16:56,640 --> 01:16:59,131
- I hate you, merry-go-round.
- Where's the switch?
1246
01:16:59,209 --> 01:17:03,077
It's in the middle of the thing.
It's impossible to turn off.
1247
01:17:03,146 --> 01:17:04,943
- Where's the button?
- In the middle.
1248
01:17:05,015 --> 01:17:07,449
I'll turn it off, then we'll talk.
1249
01:17:07,517 --> 01:17:08,643
I'll get it.
1250
01:17:13,490 --> 01:17:15,390
[Screaming]
1251
01:17:15,459 --> 01:17:17,552
- Whoa!
- [Screaming] Ow!
1252
01:17:17,628 --> 01:17:20,893
Oh! Oh! Timmy.
1253
01:17:20,964 --> 01:17:24,832
Man, are you all right?
Let me help you up there.
1254
01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:29,235
Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
Come on, buddy. All right.
1255
01:17:29,306 --> 01:17:30,830
- You okay? Yeah?
- Yeah.
1256
01:17:30,907 --> 01:17:35,571
It knocked the wind out of you.
You went flying off of that thing.
1257
01:17:35,646 --> 01:17:40,640
Now, listen. I don't want to let this
ruin our jolly feeling.
1258
01:17:40,717 --> 01:17:44,118
Let's go back in there
and talk about this fantastic rally.
1259
01:17:44,187 --> 01:17:47,350
- No, Nick. You see this bow and arrow?
- Yeah.
1260
01:17:47,424 --> 01:17:49,915
- [Tim] One night...
- Yeah?
1261
01:17:50,927 --> 01:17:52,827
One night...
1262
01:17:52,896 --> 01:17:55,456
I'm so ashamed of this.
But one night...
1263
01:17:55,532 --> 01:17:57,830
- [explosion]
- [Screaming]
1264
01:17:58,769 --> 01:18:01,897
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, man!
1265
01:18:01,972 --> 01:18:04,839
- I told you it was a piece of junk!
- I'm glad we weren't on it.
1266
01:18:04,908 --> 01:18:06,808
- What?
- I'm glad we weren't on it.
1267
01:18:06,877 --> 01:18:10,836
- I can't hear. Are your ears ringing?
- No.
1268
01:18:10,914 --> 01:18:14,577
Boy, mine are. What was it
you were saying, my fine friend?
1269
01:18:14,651 --> 01:18:17,745
What I was saying is that one night
I got drunk. All right?
1270
01:18:17,821 --> 01:18:20,813
Being drunk had nothing to do with it.
I can't even explain it.
1271
01:18:20,891 --> 01:18:24,691
Wait, you know what?
I'm thinking it's just one ear.
1272
01:18:24,761 --> 01:18:28,527
I hear you way better
when I turn like this. Talk to me.
1273
01:18:28,598 --> 01:18:31,897
That night I got drunk and
I was aiming this arrow at my house.
1274
01:18:31,968 --> 01:18:34,163
No, it's both ears.
What are you doing?
1275
01:18:34,237 --> 01:18:35,829
I'm trying to tell you.
1276
01:18:35,906 --> 01:18:38,431
I pulled it back, I aimed at the house,
I did this.
1277
01:18:38,508 --> 01:18:41,773
[Natalie] Nick, Nathan and Nellie
want you to kiss their boo-boos.
1278
01:18:41,845 --> 01:18:44,837
Wait, I heard that. I'm coming!
1279
01:18:44,915 --> 01:18:46,712
That was not a smart thing to do.
1280
01:18:46,783 --> 01:18:47,943
- I know!
- Come on.
1281
01:18:48,018 --> 01:18:50,851
No, Nick!
I got to tell...
1282
01:18:50,921 --> 01:18:53,446
[groaning in distance]
1283
01:19:05,135 --> 01:19:06,466
Oh, shit!
1284
01:19:09,106 --> 01:19:11,438
- [Debbie] Timmy, honey!
- What?!
1285
01:19:11,508 --> 01:19:12,668
Where are you?
1286
01:19:12,743 --> 01:19:16,907
Timmy. Honey, I got it.
Definitely in the hips.
1287
01:19:16,980 --> 01:19:18,914
Timmy, where have you been?
1288
01:19:18,982 --> 01:19:20,711
- I killed the bum.
- What?
1289
01:19:20,784 --> 01:19:22,012
The bum. I shot an arrow.
1290
01:19:22,085 --> 01:19:25,145
It went up, it went down.
It's in the bum. I killed him.
1291
01:19:25,222 --> 01:19:26,746
Come. Come.
1292
01:19:26,823 --> 01:19:29,314
- Did you work out a deal with him?
- No! He's dead.
1293
01:19:29,392 --> 01:19:32,327
It's in his back. The arrow.
I shot him. I killed him.
1294
01:19:32,395 --> 01:19:34,522
I killed a person!
1295
01:19:36,333 --> 01:19:39,996
What? Is this a joke?
I don't get your jokes sometimes.
1296
01:19:40,070 --> 01:19:43,130
And I'll tell you something:
I don't think it's always me.
1297
01:19:43,206 --> 01:19:44,605
- Hurry up! Come on!
- Honey!
1298
01:19:44,674 --> 01:19:48,041
- Hurry. Get in the house.
- Let it go. Stop! What are you doing?
1299
01:19:48,111 --> 01:19:49,874
Wait! He could be in the house.
1300
01:19:49,946 --> 01:19:53,746
- There's nobody there! God.
- Car! He's wounded! He's crazy!
1301
01:19:53,817 --> 01:19:57,480
- Honey, this is really insane.
- Get in! Get in!
1302
01:20:10,901 --> 01:20:13,392
[Heavy breathing, moaning]
1303
01:20:14,371 --> 01:20:15,998
Excuse me.
1304
01:20:16,072 --> 01:20:19,235
This'll take half a second.
Could you tell me...
1305
01:20:19,309 --> 01:20:21,607
what's sticking in my back, please?
1306
01:20:23,446 --> 01:20:25,471
- Arrow.
- Fricking nitwit.
1307
01:20:25,549 --> 01:20:30,543
Look, I'm being stalked
by a genuine madman, okay?
1308
01:20:30,620 --> 01:20:32,850
I'm talking about a black force here.
1309
01:20:32,923 --> 01:20:35,585
I hate spoiling the atmosphere,
1310
01:20:35,659 --> 01:20:39,993
but would you mind
tugging the arrow out?
1311
01:20:40,564 --> 01:20:45,001
I want you to stop the car.
Honey, stop the car right now!
1312
01:20:45,068 --> 01:20:48,834
- Look. The guy's crazy.
- There is no dead man!
1313
01:20:48,905 --> 01:20:50,702
He's a loose cannon.
1314
01:20:50,774 --> 01:20:53,572
- Excuse me.
- [All screaming]
1315
01:20:56,580 --> 01:20:59,378
Oh, my God, there is a bum
with an arrow.
1316
01:20:59,449 --> 01:21:01,508
He looks afraid of us.
1317
01:21:07,257 --> 01:21:10,317
You ever hear of "reach for the sky"?
1318
01:21:10,393 --> 01:21:13,453
You just shoot a guy in the back
with no warning.
1319
01:21:13,530 --> 01:21:15,157
That's right.
1320
01:21:15,232 --> 01:21:17,632
That's correct.
That's right. That's what I do.
1321
01:21:17,701 --> 01:21:19,726
Well, then, good God almighty,
1322
01:21:19,803 --> 01:21:23,136
we have entered, indeed,
into a dark day.
1323
01:21:24,207 --> 01:21:27,301
You got to talk to him.
We were pals.
1324
01:21:27,377 --> 01:21:29,971
Who shoots a pal in the back
with a bow and arrow?
1325
01:21:30,046 --> 01:21:32,776
- Over a couple of bucks.
- Me.
1326
01:21:32,849 --> 01:21:36,080
I'm an archer and I shoot arrows.
1327
01:21:36,152 --> 01:21:39,610
And I got more back
where they came from. My quiver.
1328
01:21:39,689 --> 01:21:42,055
Listen to me.
I just wanted what you wanted.
1329
01:21:42,125 --> 01:21:44,286
A little taste of the good life.
1330
01:21:44,361 --> 01:21:47,421
A little taste of honey.
Is that so bad? Is it?
1331
01:21:47,497 --> 01:21:50,227
But you win.
1332
01:21:50,300 --> 01:21:54,828
Man, I fold. I can see it:
Greed has hardened your heart.
1333
01:21:54,905 --> 01:21:57,533
And money's poisoned your soul.
1334
01:21:57,607 --> 01:21:59,336
I'm out of here.
1335
01:21:59,409 --> 01:22:02,344
There's nothing as dangerous
as large quantities of money.
1336
01:22:02,412 --> 01:22:06,473
That's why I've always remained an
independent contractor, an odd job man.
1337
01:22:06,549 --> 01:22:08,210
I want no part of this.
1338
01:22:09,286 --> 01:22:13,552
I stand before you, begging:
Take the arrow out of my back.
1339
01:22:13,623 --> 01:22:15,591
You will never see me again.
1340
01:22:15,659 --> 01:22:20,096
Help me, God! Come on.
1341
01:22:20,163 --> 01:22:22,631
- [J-Man sobs]
- Honey...
1342
01:22:22,699 --> 01:22:25,725
take the arrow out of his back.
1343
01:22:29,339 --> 01:22:31,637
[J-Man whimpering]
1344
01:22:31,708 --> 01:22:33,733
- [J-Man grimaces]
- [Wincing]
1345
01:22:37,314 --> 01:22:39,145
Thank you.
1346
01:22:40,550 --> 01:22:44,145
- [Panting] Thank you.
- Souvenir.
1347
01:23:04,641 --> 01:23:08,509
(music) [Envy reprise]
1348
01:23:40,676 --> 01:23:42,405
- Hey!
- Hey.
1349
01:23:43,812 --> 01:23:45,973
I couldn't sleep.
I got to talk to you.
1350
01:23:46,048 --> 01:23:47,606
Yeah, I got to talk to you too.
1351
01:23:47,683 --> 01:23:50,948
You know, this big rally tomorrow,
I'm a wreck about it.
1352
01:23:51,020 --> 01:23:54,387
I got to give a big speech.
I'm not a speech guy.
1353
01:23:54,456 --> 01:23:57,584
Are you kidding?
Come on, those infomercials you did.
1354
01:23:57,659 --> 01:23:59,217
You're great in front of people.
1355
01:23:59,294 --> 01:24:02,286
Really? You thought I was good?
You never said a word about it.
1356
01:24:03,332 --> 01:24:06,961
Because it was just another thing
of yours that made me miserable.
1357
01:24:07,036 --> 01:24:08,298
What?
1358
01:24:08,370 --> 01:24:10,838
This is what I have to talk
to you about. Sit down.
1359
01:24:15,044 --> 01:24:16,841
I killed Corky.
1360
01:24:18,614 --> 01:24:19,774
You...
1361
01:24:23,118 --> 01:24:24,380
[softly] When?
1362
01:24:24,453 --> 01:24:27,786
Now, please, just don't say anything
till I'm done, all right?
1363
01:24:27,856 --> 01:24:30,222
The day that you gave me the wine,
remember?
1364
01:24:30,292 --> 01:24:32,624
I got drunk on the wine.
1365
01:24:32,694 --> 01:24:37,063
I actually was drunk from before.
I went into your yard and...
1366
01:24:49,244 --> 01:24:51,804
So that's it.
There you have it.
1367
01:24:53,415 --> 01:24:56,646
Well, you know, it sounds like
it was an accident.
1368
01:24:56,718 --> 01:24:59,243
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I should've told you.
1369
01:24:59,321 --> 01:25:02,256
That's the thing.
But I don't know what happened.
1370
01:25:02,324 --> 01:25:05,885
I felt guilty or something.
1371
01:25:05,961 --> 01:25:10,022
And I was just so wrapped up in the envy
that I felt for everything you had.
1372
01:25:10,099 --> 01:25:11,566
It's true what they say.
1373
01:25:11,633 --> 01:25:16,036
It's like a little green monster that
comes out and it just poisoned my head.
1374
01:25:16,105 --> 01:25:18,699
And, by the way, you did nothing wrong.
1375
01:25:18,774 --> 01:25:21,572
You followed your dream.
You did what you wanted to do.
1376
01:25:21,643 --> 01:25:24,669
I was always saying, "Don't do it."
You did it and it worked.
1377
01:25:24,746 --> 01:25:28,341
Look, you built a house, right?
That's all you did. You built a house.
1378
01:25:28,417 --> 01:25:31,944
I mean, it's a big house.
I mean, it's a really big house.
1379
01:25:32,020 --> 01:25:36,116
It's a large house.
It's a... I mean, it's...
1380
01:25:36,191 --> 01:25:39,991
It's gigantic, Nick.
It's the White House.
1381
01:25:40,062 --> 01:25:43,088
You built the White House here,
and we're in the shadow of it.
1382
01:25:43,165 --> 01:25:45,656
Literally, every day at 4:00,
we're in its shadow.
1383
01:25:45,734 --> 01:25:48,362
That's not your fault.
You wanted to be friends still,
1384
01:25:48,437 --> 01:25:50,337
you didn't want to move
and I love that.
1385
01:25:50,405 --> 01:25:52,839
It was coming from such a good place,
but it was...
1386
01:25:52,908 --> 01:25:55,775
It really got to me because every day
I'd have to look at you,
1387
01:25:55,844 --> 01:25:57,675
and see you with all of this stuff.
1388
01:25:57,746 --> 01:26:01,910
You know, buy the yellow Lamborghini
that goes 500 miles an hour.
1389
01:26:01,984 --> 01:26:04,919
Have a bowling alley next to your room.
If I could do it, I would.
1390
01:26:04,987 --> 01:26:07,785
Everybody should have a merry-go-round.
Of course you should.
1391
01:26:07,856 --> 01:26:10,825
Jealousy, every day.
And it was just chewing me up.
1392
01:26:10,893 --> 01:26:14,192
Your kid's playing the concert piano,
my kid's banging trash cans.
1393
01:26:14,263 --> 01:26:15,992
And that has nothing to do with money.
1394
01:26:16,064 --> 01:26:19,158
That's just his musical ability.
That's a whole other thing.
1395
01:26:19,234 --> 01:26:22,567
You just gave to us. You gave
and you gave and you're so generous.
1396
01:26:22,638 --> 01:26:24,162
And what am I going to give you?
1397
01:26:24,239 --> 01:26:27,970
I gave you tube socks for Christmas
last year. That's not going to work.
1398
01:26:28,043 --> 01:26:30,068
- I like the socks.
- You gave us so much.
1399
01:26:30,145 --> 01:26:34,047
The coffee machine. It's a beautiful,
giant rocketship-sized coffee machine.
1400
01:26:34,116 --> 01:26:37,643
Debbie loved the coffee. I'll tell you
something, I never tasted it.
1401
01:26:37,719 --> 01:26:39,778
I wanted to tell you that.
1402
01:26:39,855 --> 01:26:42,346
I can't even tell you
I haven't tried the coffee.
1403
01:26:42,424 --> 01:26:44,858
Like I'll feel better
if I don't drink your coffee.
1404
01:26:44,927 --> 01:26:47,828
And you gave our kids flan.
All of a sudden my son's going,
1405
01:26:47,896 --> 01:26:49,625
"Daddy, where's the flan?"
1406
01:26:49,698 --> 01:26:52,826
It felt like a dagger in my heart
every time he'd request flan.
1407
01:26:52,901 --> 01:26:54,391
It made me feel little.
1408
01:26:54,469 --> 01:26:57,370
I felt like a little man
who didn't like flan.
1409
01:26:57,439 --> 01:27:00,499
The horse was great, Nick.
Of course you should have a horse.
1410
01:27:00,576 --> 01:27:03,977
Does it have to be a white horse
that you come galloping up on,
1411
01:27:04,046 --> 01:27:05,911
and it neighs
and makes the whole thing?
1412
01:27:05,981 --> 01:27:10,350
Of course. Make it a beautiful horse
that I think, honestly, didn't like me.
1413
01:27:10,419 --> 01:27:13,217
It had nothing to do with anything,
I never clicked with it.
1414
01:27:13,288 --> 01:27:16,883
I think the horse sensed something.
I think "horse sense" is a real thing.
1415
01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:21,123
Because the horse had a feeling.
He came over and sensed the envy I felt.
1416
01:27:21,196 --> 01:27:25,064
He'd come over and eat the apples.
He'd see me and give me a weird look.
1417
01:27:25,133 --> 01:27:29,570
I'm telling you. You know how sometimes
the side of a face and you get one eye?
1418
01:27:29,638 --> 01:27:32,607
He would keep the eye on me
and I knew he was thinking something.
1419
01:27:32,674 --> 01:27:36,132
That's unrelated to what happened
with the arrow. That was an accident.
1420
01:27:36,211 --> 01:27:39,146
I swear to God. I swear to God.
I couldn't do it if I tried.
1421
01:27:39,214 --> 01:27:44,083
I'm sorry about this.
I feel horrible. I feel bad.
1422
01:27:44,152 --> 01:27:47,849
I feel like I have this fountain
in my yard that I don't deserve.
1423
01:27:47,923 --> 01:27:50,050
I don't deserve to be your partner.
1424
01:27:51,126 --> 01:27:54,323
I don't deserve to be your friend.
I just...
1425
01:27:54,396 --> 01:27:57,126
Well, you know what, Tim?
You made a mistake.
1426
01:27:57,199 --> 01:27:59,827
You're human.
Everyone makes mistakes.
1427
01:28:00,402 --> 01:28:03,064
So what, man?
You're still my best friend.
1428
01:28:03,138 --> 01:28:05,504
- Really?
- Of course.
1429
01:28:07,175 --> 01:28:10,076
Of course. Come on, man.
1430
01:28:10,145 --> 01:28:12,113
It was a big mistake.
1431
01:28:12,180 --> 01:28:15,672
It was a big mistake.
It was a doozy.
1432
01:28:16,918 --> 01:28:18,408
[Whispering] Corky.
1433
01:28:18,487 --> 01:28:21,183
- I'm sorry, Nick.
- No, no. It's okay.
1434
01:28:21,256 --> 01:28:23,520
I know how much
you loved him and I...
1435
01:28:23,592 --> 01:28:26,652
[sighing deeply] I did love Corky.
1436
01:28:26,728 --> 01:28:28,559
I never liked Corky.
1437
01:28:28,630 --> 01:28:31,963
I mean, he's beautiful on the outside.
It's just something wasn't...
1438
01:28:32,034 --> 01:28:33,296
We're still partners.
1439
01:28:33,368 --> 01:28:36,531
There is no way you are getting out
of this partnership.
1440
01:28:36,605 --> 01:28:38,300
- Okay.
- Okay?
1441
01:28:38,373 --> 01:28:40,534
And I will see you tomorrow
at the big rally.
1442
01:28:40,609 --> 01:28:42,042
[Sighing]
1443
01:28:42,110 --> 01:28:43,634
- Yeah.
- Good.
1444
01:28:44,980 --> 01:28:46,607
[Nick] Big day.
1445
01:28:46,682 --> 01:28:48,513
Big day.
1446
01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:51,108
Poor Corky.
One little target arrow.
1447
01:28:51,186 --> 01:28:53,746
You wouldn't think that could kill
a great big horse.
1448
01:28:53,822 --> 01:28:55,551
That's exactly what I thought.
1449
01:28:55,624 --> 01:28:58,218
It's one little arrow
and when I shot the bum...
1450
01:28:58,293 --> 01:29:00,625
he hardly seemed to notice.
1451
01:29:02,264 --> 01:29:05,233
You know, that fountain
looked a lot better in Rome.
1452
01:29:07,969 --> 01:29:09,732
- Yeah.
- Well...
1453
01:29:09,805 --> 01:29:13,502
C'est la vie, as the Romans say.
1454
01:29:17,879 --> 01:29:20,439
[Natalie] On this beautiful, clear day,
1455
01:29:20,515 --> 01:29:23,916
I think it is appropriate
that we clear the air
1456
01:29:23,985 --> 01:29:31,118
of the toxic distortions that
my husband and, by association, myself,
1457
01:29:31,193 --> 01:29:36,825
are somehow poisoning our environment
in our efforts to purify it.
1458
01:29:36,898 --> 01:29:40,425
It's not true. No es verdad.
1459
01:29:41,937 --> 01:29:43,666
[Natalie] Ladies and gentlemen...
1460
01:29:43,739 --> 01:29:46,833
please help me welcome
Nick Vanderpark and Tim Dingman.
1461
01:29:46,908 --> 01:29:49,103
[Cheering, applause]
1462
01:29:56,918 --> 01:30:00,183
[Shouts of protest]
1463
01:30:01,923 --> 01:30:03,288
Thank you.
1464
01:30:03,358 --> 01:30:07,021
Ladies and gentlemen, young people.
1465
01:30:07,662 --> 01:30:10,654
I stand here with my partner,
Tim Dingman...
1466
01:30:10,732 --> 01:30:12,324
[light applause]
1467
01:30:12,401 --> 01:30:13,993
That's right.
1468
01:30:15,604 --> 01:30:19,665
...grateful for this opportunity
to address the central question
1469
01:30:19,741 --> 01:30:25,338
posed in so many colorful
and eloquent variations.
1470
01:30:26,248 --> 01:30:31,379
[Nick] Where is the shit?!
1471
01:30:31,453 --> 01:30:33,080
[Applause]
1472
01:30:34,456 --> 01:30:37,357
[Natalie] My God. Nick. Nick!
1473
01:30:37,426 --> 01:30:39,087
Corky?
1474
01:30:41,696 --> 01:30:44,995
[Woman] Mr. And Mrs. Vanderpark,
sorry we had to perform an autopsy,
1475
01:30:45,066 --> 01:30:48,365
but when any large dead animal
comes in proximity with the public
1476
01:30:48,437 --> 01:30:51,065
it must be examined immediately
for health reasons.
1477
01:30:51,139 --> 01:30:54,233
I'm a little curious. Did you feed
your horse a lot of apples?
1478
01:30:54,309 --> 01:30:58,575
Our neighbors have an apple tree.
Corky loved their apples.
1479
01:30:58,647 --> 01:31:01,616
- Did he ever defecate in their yard?
- I imagine.
1480
01:31:02,851 --> 01:31:06,082
Can you tell me what you did
when the horse defecated in your yard?
1481
01:31:06,154 --> 01:31:10,386
We used Vapoorize
because Nick invented it.
1482
01:31:10,459 --> 01:31:12,723
We get crates of it for free.
1483
01:31:12,794 --> 01:31:14,557
Well...
1484
01:31:14,629 --> 01:31:16,688
It's all making sense.
1485
01:31:18,867 --> 01:31:20,664
The horse was poisoned.
1486
01:31:20,735 --> 01:31:24,762
We did find a broken shaft of
a small target arrow in the sternum,
1487
01:31:24,840 --> 01:31:27,536
but that played no part
in the horse's death.
1488
01:31:27,609 --> 01:31:32,103
The horse died from the prolonged
ingesting of a certain chemical,
1489
01:31:32,180 --> 01:31:36,583
which by itself is harmless, but when
combined with certain fecal bacteria
1490
01:31:36,651 --> 01:31:38,710
becomes a lethal poison.
1491
01:31:40,222 --> 01:31:41,814
A little person?
1492
01:31:41,890 --> 01:31:44,256
Lethal poison.
1493
01:31:44,326 --> 01:31:48,956
That chemical is the ingredient in every
can of your so-called miracle invention.
1494
01:31:49,030 --> 01:31:51,521
He had enough of it literally
to kill a horse.
1495
01:31:55,170 --> 01:31:58,367
I am obligated, of course,
to report this to the EPA.
1496
01:32:00,075 --> 01:32:01,667
EPA?
1497
01:32:01,743 --> 01:32:03,210
Mmm-hmm.
1498
01:32:03,278 --> 01:32:06,975
Environmental Protection Agency?
1499
01:32:07,048 --> 01:32:10,484
Do you have to do that?
Right. You have to.
1500
01:32:10,552 --> 01:32:12,816
[Sobbing]
1501
01:32:12,888 --> 01:32:16,688
- It's all right.
- Every time without exception?
1502
01:32:26,868 --> 01:32:31,601
[Auctioneer] The next item, an extra
large bed that sleeps nine comfortably,
1503
01:32:31,673 --> 01:32:34,005
for, let's say, $100.
1504
01:32:34,075 --> 01:32:38,136
XL bed, sleeping nine.
Got to love it for $100.
1505
01:32:38,213 --> 01:32:42,912
$ 72 for this white statue of a man
on a horse with a spray can.
1506
01:32:42,984 --> 01:32:44,542
$ 72, anyone? No?
1507
01:32:45,854 --> 01:32:48,254
Anybody need a portable phone?
Everyone needs one.
1508
01:32:48,323 --> 01:32:50,883
You want one in your kitchen,
in your extra bedroom.
1509
01:32:50,959 --> 01:32:54,224
You got a portable phone right there.
It's going to go for $5.
1510
01:32:54,296 --> 01:32:55,854
The next thing is item 31.
1511
01:32:55,931 --> 01:33:00,300
I like this bug net. Why don't we
find out the estimated cost?
1512
01:33:00,969 --> 01:33:06,339
Oh, we've got two cases
of a semi-gourmet flan.
1513
01:33:06,408 --> 01:33:10,435
I believe that's some sort of
custard dish or something.
1514
01:33:10,512 --> 01:33:15,074
The semi-gourmet flan
is going to start the bidding at $4.
1515
01:33:15,150 --> 01:33:17,380
- Nick?
- Yeah.
1516
01:33:19,321 --> 01:33:21,915
I think I have an idea.
1517
01:33:21,990 --> 01:33:25,118
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Like a really big idea.
1518
01:33:25,193 --> 01:33:26,091
Really?
1519
01:33:26,161 --> 01:33:28,755
When you got your idea,
did you feel it immediately?
1520
01:33:28,830 --> 01:33:30,559
Oh, yeah. Right away.
1521
01:33:30,632 --> 01:33:32,623
You got one of those?
Like one of my ideas?
1522
01:33:32,701 --> 01:33:35,101
- I think so.
- What is it?
1523
01:33:41,710 --> 01:33:43,007
Yes!
1524
01:33:44,980 --> 01:33:47,642
Hey. Hey! Stop the auction!
1525
01:33:50,151 --> 01:33:54,554
You just cannot eat flan
and drive at the same time.
1526
01:33:54,623 --> 01:33:57,148
Look, I've got flan all over me.
1527
01:33:57,225 --> 01:33:59,625
Can't somebody come up
with a better idea?!
1528
01:33:59,694 --> 01:34:01,628
- [Tim] We have.
- [Applause]
1529
01:34:01,696 --> 01:34:03,163
That's right!
1530
01:34:03,898 --> 01:34:08,232
Be one of the millions enjoying the
taste sensation sweeping the nation.
1531
01:34:08,303 --> 01:34:10,294
Nick's talking about Pocket Flan!
1532
01:34:10,372 --> 01:34:11,805
[Nick] Pocket Flan!
1533
01:34:12,841 --> 01:34:15,605
- No spoon, no mess!
- That's right.
1534
01:34:15,677 --> 01:34:17,110
Three simple steps, folks.
1535
01:34:17,178 --> 01:34:19,339
- Just flip it!
- Flip it!
1536
01:34:19,414 --> 01:34:21,279
- Squeeze it!
- Squeeze it!
1537
01:34:21,349 --> 01:34:23,214
Mmm.
1538
01:34:23,284 --> 01:34:25,809
- And enjoy.
- Enjoy!
1539
01:34:25,887 --> 01:34:28,583
Wait a second, Tim.
What was that name again?
1540
01:34:28,657 --> 01:34:30,625
Pocket Flan!
1541
01:34:30,692 --> 01:34:32,182
Isn't that just fantastic?
1542
01:34:32,260 --> 01:34:35,093
No, Nick, it's not fantastic.
It's flan-tastic.
1543
01:34:35,163 --> 01:34:36,596
[Audience laughs]
1544
01:34:36,665 --> 01:34:39,930
Yeah, but, Tim, Nick, I have a question.
1545
01:34:40,001 --> 01:34:43,402
How about us
who are lactose-intolerant?
1546
01:34:43,471 --> 01:34:46,531
We've got a new soy-based Pocket Flan.
1547
01:34:47,542 --> 01:34:50,534
(music) [Envy reprise]
1548
01:35:37,826 --> 01:35:39,657
It's flan in a tube.
1549
01:35:39,728 --> 01:35:41,593
It's a little bit of happiness
in a tube.
1550
01:35:41,663 --> 01:35:43,460
Let's say I'm jogging.
1551
01:35:43,531 --> 01:35:47,968
I'm getting tired, I need a pick-me-up.
What am I going to do, get a candy bar?
1552
01:35:48,036 --> 01:35:51,335
Imagine if you're jogging
with some of this stuff.
1553
01:35:51,406 --> 01:35:53,465
What's going on?
It's not going to work.
1554
01:35:53,541 --> 01:35:56,442
Here's the other thing.
You're eating your flan, you're like:
1555
01:35:56,511 --> 01:35:57,535
"That's good.
1556
01:35:57,612 --> 01:36:00,809
"I want to get down there
where it's brown and super-sugary."
1557
01:36:00,882 --> 01:36:03,749
Where do you...? I can't...
In here we've mixed it up.
1558
01:36:03,818 --> 01:36:05,877
You've got all that. It's pre-mixed.
1559
01:36:05,954 --> 01:36:08,923
The brown is always part of it.
Even if you don't see it.
1560
01:36:08,990 --> 01:36:12,687
In the Tour de France, they're going
20 miles a day, going up mountains.
1561
01:36:12,761 --> 01:36:15,696
What do you think they pull out
of their Spandex bikini bottom
1562
01:36:15,764 --> 01:36:18,130
to squeeze into their mouth
when they want to eat?
1563
01:36:18,199 --> 01:36:21,532
- Pocket Flan!
- And here's another question.
1564
01:36:21,603 --> 01:36:24,504
What if I'm doing
some skydiving and I'm like:
1565
01:36:24,572 --> 01:36:27,166
"I got to get some...
I'm going to get some cornflakes.
1566
01:36:27,242 --> 01:36:30,302
"I don't have time for cornflakes.
I do have time for flan."
1567
01:36:30,378 --> 01:36:32,744
[Tim] That's right.
I'd love to see this...
1568
01:36:33,681 --> 01:36:35,308
This has been vacuum-tested
1569
01:36:35,383 --> 01:36:38,375
to a depth of 200 feet
if you're scuba diving.
1570
01:36:38,453 --> 01:36:41,445
Just the other day I see
this kid walking down the street.
1571
01:36:41,523 --> 01:36:43,957
- He has the Pocket Flan. Right?
- Right.
1572
01:36:44,025 --> 01:36:47,392
He squeezes it... he's on a skateboard.
He squeezes it...
1573
01:36:47,462 --> 01:36:50,659
It arcs up. He goes like... and...
1574
01:36:50,732 --> 01:36:52,757
That's like a new skateboard trick.
1575
01:36:52,834 --> 01:36:56,167
Who here likes to drive?
You guys like to drive? Yeah.
1576
01:36:56,237 --> 01:36:59,104
Who here likes to drive race cars?
Anybody? All right.
1577
01:36:59,174 --> 01:37:01,039
I'm Captain Speedway,
1578
01:37:01,109 --> 01:37:06,240
and nothing tastes better at 200 miles
per hour than Pocket Flan.
1579
01:37:06,314 --> 01:37:10,614
Firemen. "I got to go save someone.
Maybe I need a little extra something."
1580
01:37:10,685 --> 01:37:13,916
"Where am I gonna put my hose?
I can't hold the hose and this thing.
1581
01:37:13,988 --> 01:37:15,979
- [Nick laughing]
- "Where's the hose go?
1582
01:37:16,057 --> 01:37:18,651
"I put a hose under my arm
and then I fight the fire."
1583
01:37:18,726 --> 01:37:21,126
This is on a serious note.
1584
01:37:21,196 --> 01:37:27,567
Recently we received a letter
from a woman, Gladys, who...
1585
01:37:28,670 --> 01:37:30,535
well, Pocket Flan saved her life.
1586
01:37:30,605 --> 01:37:33,301
- All right.
- [Applause]
1587
01:37:33,374 --> 01:37:36,935
She was a backpacker.
She was stuck out in the woods...
1588
01:37:37,011 --> 01:37:39,502
and, by God, Pocket Flan...
1589
01:37:39,581 --> 01:37:41,674
[laughing] I can't think of it.
1590
01:37:41,749 --> 01:37:45,412
I wanted to say some tearful thing,
but I couldn't think of a thing.
1591
01:37:45,486 --> 01:37:47,477
[Audience clapping]
1592
01:39:07,486 --> 01:39:09,477
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