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1
00:00:07,092 --> 00:00:08,925
Top of the morning
to you, little dude!
2
00:00:08,917 --> 00:00:10,885
Hey, eat shit and
die of eating shit.
3
00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:13,271
Whoa, that's no way to
treat your friends.
4
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,273
You're not my friends.
5
00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:15,965
We're the only ones
that know what
6
00:00:15,963 --> 00:00:17,296
you're going through,
little dude,
7
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,942
and where you're going to.
8
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,602
You can't escape
your destiny, loser.
9
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,493
It's either us or no one.
10
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:24,822
I've got real friends!
11
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:26,568
Ones that will stick
by me no matter what!
12
00:00:26,563 --> 00:00:27,329
Not for long.
13
00:00:27,364 --> 00:00:28,364
Is that a threat?
14
00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:30,223
Whoa, whoa, far be it for us
15
00:00:30,215 --> 00:00:32,182
to threaten the
destroyer of worlds.
16
00:00:32,168 --> 00:00:34,069
But a shitstorm is brewing, bro.
17
00:00:34,058 --> 00:00:36,392
And you're the asshole
at the center of it.
18
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:37,974
And your friends?
19
00:00:37,998 --> 00:00:39,664
They're just gonna
be swept aside.
20
00:00:39,662 --> 00:00:41,730
And casually fucked
into nothingness.
21
00:00:43,505 --> 00:00:44,739
He's saying they're
all gonna die
22
00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:46,722
if they keep hanging
with you, loser.
23
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:48,309
Yeah, I got that, asshole.
24
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:50,444
Rob: Whoa, not the finger!
25
00:00:50,423 --> 00:00:51,990
You're too hard-core for us!
26
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:53,713
(Laughing)
27
00:00:53,914 --> 00:00:56,081
What are we gonna do
about Todd's problem?
28
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:57,393
You know he shaved his nutsack
29
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,039
and now it's super
itchy and in-grown?
30
00:00:59,038 --> 00:01:00,304
Guys do that?
31
00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:01,653
Well, not me.
I rock the dick beard.
32
00:01:02,081 --> 00:01:04,682
It makes my porksword look
like a wise old wizard.
33
00:01:04,643 --> 00:01:05,810
Curtis: And I mean old.
34
00:01:05,829 --> 00:01:07,128
That sounds far worse-
35
00:01:07,141 --> 00:01:08,809
I'm talking about
Todd's bigger problem.
36
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,740
We need to find out
what happens if
37
00:01:10,728 --> 00:01:12,462
he really is the pure evil one.
38
00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:13,991
It means he's gonna
destroy the world.
39
00:01:13,994 --> 00:01:15,394
Or something.
40
00:01:15,403 --> 00:01:17,471
I for one think we need to
keep him from doing that.
41
00:01:17,454 --> 00:01:18,787
Jenny: Uh, yeah! He could be
42
00:01:18,799 --> 00:01:20,733
more dangerous than the
book of pure evil.
43
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,020
Curtis: Whoa, you guys-
44
00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:23,466
you're talking about
my best friend here.
45
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:26,008
Maybe all he needs is
for us to tell him
46
00:01:25,972 --> 00:01:27,172
we love him.
47
00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:28,690
Jenny: Can't we tell
him we like him?
48
00:01:28,694 --> 00:01:29,828
It's sorta the same thing.
49
00:01:29,848 --> 00:01:30,581
Love's more powerful.
50
00:01:30,616 --> 00:01:31,683
Love conquers all.
51
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:32,772
That's so sweet.
52
00:01:32,794 --> 00:01:34,027
Can we get back on track here?
53
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:35,611
My dad was researching the book
54
00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:36,879
when those satanists
kidnapped him.
55
00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:38,594
He must know something
about that prophecy
56
00:01:38,591 --> 00:01:39,724
they were talking about.
57
00:01:40,192 --> 00:01:42,160
Too bad he's in a coma-
58
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,646
but he could snap out
of that any day now.
59
00:01:44,803 --> 00:01:46,404
Like right now.
60
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:47,438
Thanks, Curtis.
61
00:01:47,462 --> 00:01:48,528
Look!
62
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,375
Dad, what are you doing here?
63
00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,096
"Dear Jenny, your
father is a vegatable.
64
00:01:57,102 --> 00:01:58,635
"Which is why I'm leaving him.
65
00:01:58,639 --> 00:02:00,040
"With you. Forever.
66
00:02:00,049 --> 00:02:01,482
"Love, mom."
67
00:02:01,714 --> 00:02:03,682
Curtis: Yeah but there's
something on the back.
68
00:02:03,668 --> 00:02:06,737
"P.S. Forever means
I'm not coming back."
69
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,161
Harsh.
70
00:02:32,716 --> 00:02:34,317
Hi! I'm Leslie!
71
00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:37,039
You wanna trade sandwiches?!
72
00:02:38,161 --> 00:02:40,095
Why would I want to
trade sandwiches?
73
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:41,416
Maybe you eat my sandwich
74
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,928
and I eat your sandwich
75
00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:44,299
and we become friends?
76
00:02:47,832 --> 00:02:59,542
77
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:20,882
"Expello... meus...
Solitudo... eternus!"
78
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,694
Subsfreak
79
00:03:32,604 --> 00:03:33,937
Okay, listen up,
you old geezers.
80
00:03:33,949 --> 00:03:35,682
I've got an important
announcement to make.
81
00:03:35,678 --> 00:03:37,612
I too have an important
announcement to make.
82
00:03:37,599 --> 00:03:38,932
Are you telling me
your announcement
83
00:03:38,944 --> 00:03:40,278
is more important than mine?
84
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:41,590
Most assuredly.
85
00:03:43,396 --> 00:03:45,297
Get on with it. Make it snappy.
86
00:03:46,055 --> 00:03:47,488
My fellow brethren-
87
00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:50,595
our ancient society recently
suffered a terrible
88
00:03:50,538 --> 00:03:53,307
and painful loss when
our beloved Minion Bob
89
00:03:53,261 --> 00:03:55,695
died at the hands of the book.
90
00:03:55,663 --> 00:03:57,497
You're not being snappy!
91
00:03:57,648 --> 00:03:58,915
Fine!
92
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:01,364
Now that he's gone, we
need to replace him!
93
00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:04,791
So please welcome
our new fourth Minion-
94
00:04:05,271 --> 00:04:06,336
Fred.
95
00:04:08,312 --> 00:04:11,248
(Clapping)
96
00:04:11,195 --> 00:04:13,130
Minion Bob's ceremonial robe.
97
00:04:13,116 --> 00:04:15,218
Sorry we didn't get
a chance to wash
98
00:04:15,198 --> 00:04:16,799
the blood and feces off it.
99
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,234
Atticus: Yeah, welcome
to the family,
100
00:04:18,242 --> 00:04:19,475
Minion Fred.
101
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,358
I'm sure you'll be just
as mediocre a Minion
102
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,681
as the rest of them.
103
00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,928
Now onto the real
important announcement.
104
00:04:26,889 --> 00:04:27,955
(Clears throat)
105
00:04:28,683 --> 00:04:30,617
I'm the pure evil one.
106
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,143
At least I will be,
once you deliver me
107
00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:38,246
the book of pure evil.
Questions? Comments? Praise?
108
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,179
Yeah, let's start
with Minion George.
109
00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:42,347
If this is a joke,
I don't get it.
110
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,693
No. Not a joke.
111
00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:45,804
Okay, you're trying to
set up a bigger joke.
112
00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:47,084
Yeah, like a prank!
113
00:04:47,097 --> 00:04:49,999
Look, I just told you guys
I'm the pure evil one.
114
00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:51,549
That's...Big news!
115
00:04:51,549 --> 00:04:55,985
I thought somebody...
Would be excited by that?
116
00:04:55,872 --> 00:04:58,141
Did you just say you want us
117
00:04:58,115 --> 00:05:00,216
to get you the
book of pure evil?
118
00:05:00,389 --> 00:05:01,622
Because we haven't been outside
119
00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,073
of this home in
almost twenty years.
120
00:05:04,039 --> 00:05:06,440
(Laughing) You're
all so useless!
121
00:05:06,922 --> 00:05:08,856
That includes you, Minion Fred.
122
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,771
Atticus: I'll find
the book myself!
123
00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:14,943
What a dipshit!
124
00:05:15,152 --> 00:05:16,986
(Laughing)
125
00:05:16,978 --> 00:05:19,580
You'll fit in just
fine, Minion Fred!
126
00:05:21,814 --> 00:05:23,248
So our goals should be:
127
00:05:23,254 --> 00:05:24,688
Get the book before
Atticus does.
128
00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:27,298
And destroy the book
before Todd becomes-
129
00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:29,218
(whispering) The pure evil one.
130
00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:30,645
Thanks for the reminder, Hannah.
131
00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:33,176
I think he heard you.
132
00:05:33,184 --> 00:05:35,351
Sorry, Todd, but it's something
we have to deal with
133
00:05:35,329 --> 00:05:36,763
before you hurt anyone else.
134
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:37,871
Ow!
135
00:05:37,892 --> 00:05:39,658
Your arm's made of metal, idiot!
136
00:05:39,652 --> 00:05:40,852
You shorted out my arm!
137
00:05:40,869 --> 00:05:42,303
Okay, careful where you-
138
00:05:42,311 --> 00:05:43,377
whack!
139
00:05:44,392 --> 00:05:45,525
Curtis!
140
00:05:45,769 --> 00:05:47,103
Aim that.
141
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,215
Sorry, I didn't mean
to fist your dad.
142
00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:51,763
That metal arm is dangerous!
It could kill somebody!
143
00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:54,633
I'm the one that's dangerous.
144
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,222
I mean, I almost
killed my best friend.
145
00:05:57,203 --> 00:06:00,005
After I tried to kill you, dude.
146
00:06:00,565 --> 00:06:01,798
Let's call it even.
147
00:06:01,973 --> 00:06:03,508
No you were under
the book's power.
148
00:06:03,511 --> 00:06:04,878
I wasn't.
149
00:06:04,889 --> 00:06:08,325
Look, even if we get the
book before Atticus,
150
00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,685
there's no way to destroy it.
151
00:06:09,693 --> 00:06:12,295
And if I really become
the pure evil one-
152
00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:15,006
I don't want you guys
around when that happens.
153
00:06:14,978 --> 00:06:17,245
Maybe if we find out
more about the prophecy
154
00:06:17,218 --> 00:06:18,685
we can stop that from happening.
155
00:06:19,941 --> 00:06:22,276
It's time for me
to be my own dude.
156
00:06:26,026 --> 00:06:27,794
I need to do this alone.
157
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,495
Todd!
158
00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:30,942
Todd, wait!
159
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,024
We love you!
160
00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:39,647
Did Todd just break up with us?
161
00:06:49,885 --> 00:06:51,053
(Brody whistling)
162
00:06:51,071 --> 00:06:53,306
Nice robe, sweater dude!
163
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,340
Oh, I keep forgetting
to take this off-
164
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,932
it looks great. Really.
165
00:06:56,932 --> 00:06:58,432
Totally flattering.
166
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,189
Really?
167
00:07:02,216 --> 00:07:03,516
Loser.
168
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:06,366
I'm getting mixed
messages from you guys.
169
00:07:06,539 --> 00:07:07,973
He's not easily impressed.
170
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:09,348
Oh, you'll be
impressed soon enough.
171
00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:11,293
You all will when I lay my hands
172
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,814
on the book of pure evil
and complete my ascendence
173
00:07:13,778 --> 00:07:15,279
to become the pure evil one.
174
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,328
Brody: Just remember-
175
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,700
only the pure evil one can
control the power of the book.
176
00:07:19,831 --> 00:07:21,497
Yes, me. And only me.
177
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,634
Who is who I am.
178
00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:26,569
Yeah, you might want
to lose the robe
179
00:07:26,557 --> 00:07:28,257
before you go into the school.
180
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,674
Fuck! Keep forgetting
to take this thing off!
181
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,498
(Laughing)
182
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,598
Hi. I'm Leslie!
183
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:46,880
What's your name?
184
00:07:46,893 --> 00:07:49,694
Uh, my name is "get out
of my face, fannypack."
185
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,868
Would you like to be my friend?
186
00:07:57,526 --> 00:08:00,161
Yeah! I'm like so glad
we're friends now!
187
00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:03,060
You and I are gonna
be very close.
188
00:08:05,788 --> 00:08:07,723
Would you like to be my friend?
189
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,097
What?
190
00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:15,623
Hello, Todd.
191
00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:16,653
Oh great-
192
00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:17,945
so glad I bumped into you.
193
00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:19,559
I've got a big surprise for you.
194
00:08:19,559 --> 00:08:21,560
But I can't tell you what it is,
195
00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:23,479
because I want it
to stay a surprise,
196
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,401
so you'll be surprised
when you hear it.
197
00:08:25,389 --> 00:08:26,556
What?
198
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:27,773
I'm gonna destroy
your little gang!
199
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,819
There is no gang anymore.
200
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,034
It's just me and you.
201
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,051
And I'm gonna find the
book before you do.
202
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:35,570
Then I'm gonna kick your ass.
203
00:08:35,573 --> 00:08:36,706
Believe me,
204
00:08:36,726 --> 00:08:38,527
my ass can take a
lot of pounding.
205
00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:41,851
I didn't say pound. I said kick.
206
00:08:42,139 --> 00:08:43,439
Same thing.
207
00:08:43,452 --> 00:08:45,954
No, it- it really isn't.
208
00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:47,485
Yeah- it is.
209
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:49,665
Fine. Have it your way.
210
00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:51,933
I'm still gonna find the
book before you do.
211
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,174
Oh, I'll find the book
before you, Todd Smith!
212
00:08:54,148 --> 00:08:56,817
And I'll be waiting
with anticipation!
213
00:08:57,095 --> 00:08:58,896
For that ass-pounding.
214
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,411
Atticus: Who has
the book this time?
215
00:09:05,198 --> 00:09:07,365
Is it the makeup face children?
216
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,041
Is it the pornographic
fantasy ladies?
217
00:09:14,005 --> 00:09:16,073
Is it the preppy bags of douche?
218
00:09:16,246 --> 00:09:17,581
You were so right, Leslie!
219
00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:19,159
Trading sandwiches makes
them taste better!
220
00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:21,544
I like it when there's
too much sandwich!
221
00:09:21,531 --> 00:09:23,098
Double-meat sandwiches, wow!
222
00:09:23,452 --> 00:09:25,554
I make fancy
sandwiches for my dog!
223
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:27,302
Would you people keep it down?!
224
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:29,750
Curtis: I'm really
worried about Todd.
225
00:09:29,762 --> 00:09:31,696
What if he is the pure evil one?
226
00:09:31,683 --> 00:09:33,284
What if he can't
control himself?
227
00:09:33,285 --> 00:09:35,987
I saw him lose control
and almost kill you.
228
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,160
You know, Hannah, you
look really sexy
229
00:09:38,152 --> 00:09:39,152
when you're scared.
230
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:40,377
I'm not scared, I'm just-
231
00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:43,736
what? You think I'm sexy?
232
00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:45,977
Totally.
233
00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:49,581
I've never been
called sexy before.
234
00:09:49,554 --> 00:09:51,222
I don't know how to react.
235
00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:52,386
So many new emotions.
236
00:09:52,404 --> 00:09:53,704
Say it again?
237
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:54,784
You're sexy.
238
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,175
I could get used to that word.
239
00:09:59,162 --> 00:10:00,229
Sexy-
240
00:10:01,244 --> 00:10:03,679
how about super-sexy?
241
00:10:03,647 --> 00:10:06,048
Oh...That's even better.
242
00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:09,723
How 'bout... ultra humpable?
243
00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:11,825
Let's stick with super-sexy.
244
00:10:11,972 --> 00:10:12,872
Hey guys!
245
00:10:15,176 --> 00:10:16,742
Do you wanna be my friends?
246
00:10:18,698 --> 00:10:20,699
Friends to the end!
247
00:10:26,666 --> 00:10:28,100
Todd: First, I had the book-
248
00:10:28,107 --> 00:10:29,874
then Hannah had the book-
249
00:10:29,869 --> 00:10:31,803
then there was tiny Todd-
250
00:10:31,951 --> 00:10:32,950
and then-
251
00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:34,842
oh, right! Sexy twins.
252
00:10:38,676 --> 00:10:40,844
Were the sexy twins before
or after tiny Todd?
253
00:10:40,821 --> 00:10:42,556
Male: Who wants
to eat a hoagie?!
254
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:43,685
Female: I do, I do!
255
00:10:43,704 --> 00:10:44,638
Male: Love meat fries!
256
00:10:44,665 --> 00:10:45,832
Female: Me too!
257
00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:47,250
Hey, will you people
keep it down!
258
00:10:47,259 --> 00:10:49,326
Female: I love meatballs!
Meatballs are the best!
259
00:10:54,849 --> 00:10:57,117
Me again, Hannah.
Where are you guys?
260
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,524
Call me!
261
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,302
Something's not right.
262
00:11:06,058 --> 00:11:07,025
Ew!
263
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,751
Knock it off, assholes!
264
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:11,809
Mr. gunderson: Okey dokey,
265
00:11:11,823 --> 00:11:13,357
yesterday we left off
discussing palm reading
266
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,928
and I thought, uh-
267
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:17,658
what the hell is that?
268
00:11:17,652 --> 00:11:19,585
This is my dad, Mr. gunderson.
269
00:11:19,573 --> 00:11:20,773
Yeeeah... I don't wanna know.
270
00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:22,925
I just want you to
take the old man
271
00:11:22,904 --> 00:11:24,638
in the wheelchair out
of this classroom.
272
00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,367
I have nowhere else to put him.
273
00:11:26,362 --> 00:11:27,163
Not my problem!
274
00:11:27,195 --> 00:11:28,629
He's creeping...Me out.
275
00:11:28,637 --> 00:11:30,237
Anyone else feel the same?
276
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:33,707
I'm sorry, Jenny.
277
00:11:34,113 --> 00:11:35,513
Democracy has spoken.
278
00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:38,090
Stupid democracy-
279
00:11:39,205 --> 00:11:41,072
that's not even a
fucking subject!
280
00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:47,085
Sandwich is a very
smart the person!
281
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,587
Curtis: What if we put a
sandwich inside a sandwich?
282
00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:51,650
I've been looking
everywhere for you guys!
283
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:55,219
Wanna be friends?
284
00:11:55,539 --> 00:11:58,107
Oh my...Fuck-
285
00:11:58,582 --> 00:12:00,649
ahhhhhhhh!
286
00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:12,025
You look a little
frazzled, dude.
287
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:12,966
What's up?
288
00:12:12,994 --> 00:12:15,128
Oh- hey, Jimmy.
289
00:12:15,459 --> 00:12:16,994
I'm just looking for the book.
290
00:12:17,477 --> 00:12:19,411
Isn't that what
that gang is for?
291
00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:21,533
I sort of...
Broke up with the gang.
292
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,380
How come?
293
00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:24,869
Well, they're afraid of me,
294
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,776
and maybe they should be.
295
00:12:26,764 --> 00:12:29,366
They don't wanna hang out
with you anymore, I get it-
296
00:12:29,327 --> 00:12:31,261
no, no, they wanna
hang out with me.
297
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,416
They do-
298
00:12:32,433 --> 00:12:33,600
alright, then
what's the problem?
299
00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:35,853
I'm afraid that if they
keep hanging out with me
300
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:37,595
they're gonna like-
301
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,174
die.
302
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,925
So I'm thinking it
might be better for me
303
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,788
to just kinda go off on my own.
304
00:12:42,778 --> 00:12:44,779
You know, like a lone wolf.
305
00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:46,457
Alright, lone wolf sounds cool.
306
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,495
Yeah, but it's
actually kinda lonely.
307
00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:50,314
Well, you'll get
used to it, though.
308
00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,404
And jerking off a lot, right?
309
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:56,102
Alright lone wolf, I'm
gonna let you be-
310
00:12:56,069 --> 00:12:57,870
hey, uh, if you're
not doing anything
311
00:12:57,863 --> 00:13:00,898
maybe you and I could...
Hang out.
312
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,682
Aren't we friends?
313
00:13:03,692 --> 00:13:04,758
Yeah.
314
00:13:06,158 --> 00:13:07,225
Oh-
315
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,320
yeah, the- (Clears throat)
316
00:13:10,321 --> 00:13:13,323
I guess the best thing
for you Jimmy is to-
317
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,200
stay away from me.
318
00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:17,316
Alright, suit yourself.
319
00:13:28,256 --> 00:13:30,190
(Laughing)
320
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,778
Hey you guys, you know what
we should all do tonight?
321
00:13:32,739 --> 00:13:34,340
Have a sleepover!
322
00:13:34,532 --> 00:13:36,067
That sounds like so much fun!
323
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,871
We should do it at
Leslie's house!
324
00:13:37,864 --> 00:13:39,131
Everybody bring their pajamas!
325
00:13:39,146 --> 00:13:40,780
Or, not-
326
00:13:41,227 --> 00:13:43,996
it's been really great having
all these new friends and all
327
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:46,717
but I think I might need
a little time to myself.
328
00:13:46,671 --> 00:13:48,005
Why would you want that, Leslie?
329
00:13:48,017 --> 00:13:49,384
We're all here for you!
330
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,328
No really, I just
need some space-
331
00:13:51,315 --> 00:13:53,750
why would you go anywhere
without your friends, Leslie?
332
00:13:53,718 --> 00:13:55,318
Yeah, we're here
for you, Leslie!
333
00:13:55,319 --> 00:13:56,486
We're always here for you!
334
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,038
Friends to the end!
335
00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,574
Curtis: I'm hungry!
Can we get some corn chips?!
336
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:01,178
How about we order a pizza?!
337
00:14:01,179 --> 00:14:02,513
With pineapples on it!
338
00:14:02,525 --> 00:14:03,858
And ham!
339
00:14:03,869 --> 00:14:05,403
That sounds good!
You should patent that!
340
00:14:05,407 --> 00:14:06,940
It's called a hawaian pizza!
341
00:14:06,944 --> 00:14:08,211
Jenny: I like sausage!
342
00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:10,493
You can't put sausage
on a hawaian pizza!
343
00:14:10,627 --> 00:14:12,761
You people are driving me crazy!
344
00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:14,707
Holy Jupiter shit!
345
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:17,903
Mr. Murphy! I need your help!
346
00:14:18,217 --> 00:14:19,818
Let me guess, you have the book.
347
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:21,586
Here! Take it!
348
00:14:23,342 --> 00:14:24,742
Well, that was easy.
349
00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:26,452
Come on, Atticus, be friends
with us and Leslie!
350
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,983
Now that I have the book
you wanna be friends?
351
00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:30,512
That ship has sailed, bitchface!
352
00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:35,070
I mean friend-face! Hahahahaha!
353
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:38,659
Todd: Hello?
354
00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:41,625
Is anyone there?
355
00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:44,365
Curtis: Hey Todd!
356
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:45,716
Come and join the student body!
357
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,247
Look, a new friend!
358
00:14:47,264 --> 00:14:48,398
Hannah: We always
need more boys!
359
00:14:48,418 --> 00:14:49,585
Jenny: And I like sausage!
360
00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:51,169
Hannah: I like pineapple!
361
00:14:52,005 --> 00:14:54,072
Holy...Shit.
362
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,677
I'm surprised that this
doesn't surprise me.
363
00:14:56,649 --> 00:14:58,917
Atticus: Look, it's my favorite
Nemesis, Todd Smith!
364
00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:00,091
And you've got the book.
365
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,041
I'll show you the
power of pure evil
366
00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:02,996
after our pizza sleepover!
367
00:15:03,022 --> 00:15:04,756
We're still doing that, right?
368
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:06,396
Leslie: Help me!
369
00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:07,718
All I wanted was some friends!
370
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:09,197
But they're smothering me!
371
00:15:09,203 --> 00:15:10,670
You don't mean that
, do you Leslie?
372
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,210
That's what I love about Leslie!
373
00:15:12,213 --> 00:15:13,747
She's such a kidder!
374
00:15:13,751 --> 00:15:15,985
Curtis: Leslie, you really
have a great sense of humor!
375
00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:16,660
(Flesh tearing)
376
00:15:16,697 --> 00:15:17,430
Leslie: Ahhhhhh!
377
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:18,899
And a great scream.
378
00:15:18,907 --> 00:15:20,107
So true!
379
00:15:20,124 --> 00:15:21,224
You know, you guys
are really making
380
00:15:21,245 --> 00:15:22,845
a great case for membership.
381
00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:25,472
All: Join the
student body, Todd.
382
00:15:25,472 --> 00:15:27,407
It's so nice in here.
383
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,995
We're getting along
so wonderfully.
384
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,596
No one has to be alone.
385
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,731
If being alone is
what it takes to keep
386
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,845
my friends safe, then
I have to be alone.
387
00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:38,393
All: Resistance is futile.
You will be friended.
388
00:15:38,923 --> 00:15:41,258
Really?
All of you guys are friends?
389
00:15:41,229 --> 00:15:42,664
All: Friends to the end.
390
00:15:43,888 --> 00:15:45,822
How can all of you
guys be friends?
391
00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:47,276
I mean-
392
00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:48,982
do you guys even know
anything about each other?
393
00:15:49,172 --> 00:15:51,106
How well can anybody
know anybody?
394
00:15:51,413 --> 00:15:53,982
Yeah, your friends say that
they're there for you.
395
00:15:53,944 --> 00:15:56,579
And that they understand what
you're going through, but-
396
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,305
they don't really know.
397
00:15:58,844 --> 00:16:01,379
At the end of the day...
We're all alone.
398
00:16:01,983 --> 00:16:03,983
Or in Elliot's case, alone
under the bleachers
399
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:05,902
jerking off to Wanda doing
her cheerleading routine.
400
00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:07,623
What?! Gross!
401
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,401
You know what's gross?
402
00:16:09,412 --> 00:16:10,779
The smell after Curtis
leaves the washroom!
403
00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:12,224
That's true.
404
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:13,597
Hey, that's my boyfriend
you're talking about!
405
00:16:13,608 --> 00:16:15,642
You actually got somebody
to go out with you?!
406
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:16,960
Hannah: Shut up! That's so rude!
407
00:16:16,971 --> 00:16:18,704
At least they don't
call her margarine.
408
00:16:18,699 --> 00:16:19,733
All: Huh?
409
00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:20,523
Because she spreads easy.
410
00:16:20,558 --> 00:16:23,493
(Laughing)
411
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,541
You suck! You all suck!
412
00:16:25,522 --> 00:16:27,222
You know who's the worst?
Leslie!
413
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,486
All: Yeah!
414
00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:29,534
She acts like she's
friends with everyone,
415
00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:31,057
we don't even know who she is!
416
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:32,063
Yeah-
417
00:16:32,088 --> 00:16:34,955
(students talking)
418
00:16:34,905 --> 00:16:36,606
Leslie: Oooooow!
419
00:16:36,602 --> 00:16:37,669
Aw-
420
00:16:37,884 --> 00:16:41,787
(students grumbling)
421
00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:43,863
No, no! Please, no!
422
00:16:45,539 --> 00:16:48,274
(Students groaning)
423
00:16:48,228 --> 00:16:50,228
I hate teenagers!
424
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:52,941
(Flesh tearing)
425
00:16:52,904 --> 00:16:54,505
You're tearing me apart!
426
00:16:54,506 --> 00:16:56,573
Literally!
427
00:16:56,555 --> 00:16:58,189
Ahhhhhhh!
428
00:16:58,189 --> 00:17:02,992
(Blood spraying)
429
00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:11,693
(Students groaning)
430
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,247
Holy Jupiter shit-
what just happened?
431
00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:20,097
Let go of the book, Atticus!
It will destroy you!
432
00:17:20,062 --> 00:17:22,230
No, you will be the one
who is destroyed.
433
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,141
By me!
434
00:17:23,169 --> 00:17:24,603
You can't control its power!
435
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,211
That's what you think
but you're wrong!
436
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,346
I feel the book's power
pulsating through me-
437
00:17:29,095 --> 00:17:30,161
me too-
438
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,443
pulsing! It's not just you-
439
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:33,717
I think I can-
440
00:17:33,739 --> 00:17:35,505
I think I can control it-
441
00:17:35,499 --> 00:17:37,100
yes...
442
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,701
(Evil Todd) Yes, I know I can-
443
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:39,969
(energy pulsing)
444
00:17:39,983 --> 00:17:41,050
No, it is me!
445
00:17:41,071 --> 00:17:43,039
I am the one who controls it!
446
00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:46,348
They're getting all
pure evil-ey-
447
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,357
Todd's a bit more convincing.
448
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,230
Jenny: Todd, listen to me!
449
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,106
You don't need that book.
450
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,115
What else do I
have going for me?
451
00:17:55,099 --> 00:17:57,467
None of you trust me.
And why should you?
452
00:17:57,437 --> 00:17:59,939
I'm always getting you into
danger, risking your lives-
453
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:03,518
the book of pure evil...
Is my only true friend.
454
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:06,637
No, the book is my friend!
455
00:18:06,788 --> 00:18:08,989
That's not true Todd.
You have us.
456
00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:10,734
You don't have to do this.
457
00:18:10,728 --> 00:18:11,928
Hannah: We'll save you, Todd!
458
00:18:11,945 --> 00:18:13,479
Curtis: All of us, together!
459
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:17,360
I can't stop destiny.
460
00:18:19,696 --> 00:18:20,762
Thud!
461
00:18:23,218 --> 00:18:27,822
(Energy pulsing)
462
00:18:30,264 --> 00:18:31,431
Todd, no!
463
00:18:39,071 --> 00:18:40,138
Ugh!
464
00:18:42,466 --> 00:18:44,134
You haven't heard
the last of me!
465
00:18:44,997 --> 00:18:46,430
I still work here!
466
00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:48,239
Every day, eight am!
467
00:18:48,231 --> 00:18:50,299
I'm here to make
your lives hell!
468
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:52,211
Uhhh!
469
00:18:57,006 --> 00:18:58,206
Are you okay, dude?
470
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,428
I was gonna use the book again.
471
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,535
I couldn't stop myself.
472
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:05,966
Jenny: That's why you have us.
473
00:19:05,974 --> 00:19:07,573
To save you from yourself.
474
00:19:10,457 --> 00:19:11,891
I guess-
475
00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:14,818
I can't really fight the
book without you guys, huh?
476
00:19:14,781 --> 00:19:15,647
Nope.
477
00:19:15,678 --> 00:19:17,278
And you don't have to.
478
00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:21,840
Hey, it's like we're
the student body.
479
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,427
But in a good way.
480
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:27,797
Now that we're back together,
481
00:19:27,815 --> 00:19:29,550
what do you guys want to do?
482
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:30,711
Throw rocks over the overpass?
483
00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:32,064
Todd: Yeah!
484
00:19:32,076 --> 00:19:33,709
Uh...Shouldn't we be
looking for the book?
485
00:19:35,278 --> 00:19:36,478
What was up with Atticus?
486
00:19:36,495 --> 00:19:38,328
He's just doing what
he always does-
487
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,088
trying to get the
book and stuff.
488
00:19:40,081 --> 00:19:43,050
Why do I feel like I'm
forgetting something?
489
00:19:42,995 --> 00:19:44,229
(Pat groaning)
490
00:19:44,245 --> 00:19:45,379
Jennifer!
491
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,135
Dad?!
492
00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:48,835
Ugh-
493
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,234
he thinks he's the
pure evil one!
494
00:19:53,232 --> 00:19:54,900
Either he's insane or else he's
495
00:19:54,898 --> 00:19:56,866
an even bigger idiot
than we ever imagined.
496
00:19:56,851 --> 00:19:58,919
Could be 50/50, Dave.
497
00:19:58,901 --> 00:20:02,304
We cannot allow this
farce to continue
498
00:20:02,232 --> 00:20:04,166
even if he is our hooded leader!
499
00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:07,107
Drastic measures must be taken.
500
00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:08,455
Sodomy!
501
00:20:08,476 --> 00:20:10,510
Let's not be too hasty.
502
00:20:10,494 --> 00:20:13,262
He's still the only one who
can deliver us the book.
503
00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:15,316
My knees can't keep up with
all this running around.
504
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,098
If he delivers it.
505
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,060
He has before.
I'm certain he will again.
506
00:20:20,006 --> 00:20:22,007
And then what do we do with him?
507
00:20:21,992 --> 00:20:23,259
Sodomy!
508
00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:25,006
Fred, give it a rest.
509
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:29,032
Once Atticus brings us the book
510
00:20:28,973 --> 00:20:31,874
he will be of no
further use to us.
511
00:20:31,823 --> 00:20:35,926
Which means...
Death to all false prophets.
512
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,334
And then sodomy?
513
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:43,934
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