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1
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Are you pussies ready to be annihilated?
2
00:00:05,734 --> 00:00:08,135
Witness the awesome power of...
3
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I am Todd, the pure evil one!
4
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I am your lord and master!
5
00:00:19,211 --> 00:00:21,245
Prepare to be conquered!
6
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You asshole!
7
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Adriano_CSI
www.addic7ed.com
8
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Hey, watch where you're going cripshit.
9
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,711
As if I haven't heard
that one before.
10
00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:03,561
Ya heard this one before?
11
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Fuckles...
12
00:01:35,913 --> 00:01:38,547
Hannah, Grab your stuff,
we're going on a field trip.
13
00:01:38,441 --> 00:01:40,442
Huh? Where are we going?
14
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Someplace we should have
checked out a long time ago.
15
00:01:42,731 --> 00:01:44,731
Where's Todd and Curtis?
16
00:01:44,651 --> 00:01:46,652
Come on.
17
00:01:46,572 --> 00:01:49,106
Jenny, you have a lot of
experience with guys, right?
18
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What do you wanna know?
19
00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:53,867
Have you ever really liked a guy,
but he only likes you
20
00:01:53,742 --> 00:01:57,512
as a friend, and every time you see him,
you just want to run away?
21
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,094
No, but if you're talking about Todd,
I'd say keep running.
22
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:01,519
Todd, Todd! Where the hell have you been?
23
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:04,527
I've been looking everywhere for you.
We gotta go to the retirement home.
24
00:02:04,403 --> 00:02:05,804
Retirement what?
25
00:02:05,749 --> 00:02:07,750
Where Atticus' father lives.
You know, Satanist senior.
26
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,670
I don't have time
for this right now.
27
00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,591
But they might know something about my dad.
28
00:02:11,511 --> 00:02:13,678
Your dad has been missing for over a year,
29
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a few more hours won't kill him.
30
00:02:15,575 --> 00:02:17,609
You asshole!
31
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,763
Jenny, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way!
32
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,708
That was really cruel.
33
00:02:21,627 --> 00:02:24,629
I didn't mean it,
that's just how it came out!
34
00:02:24,508 --> 00:02:26,542
Yo guys, I've got-
35
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,828
I don't have time for this right now,
I've got to do something important!
36
00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,800
Hannah, I've got the-
37
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:34,351
No wait, I've got the... What the hell?
38
00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:38,680
Fine, I'll just take care of it myself.
39
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,642
My life is just like spinning
out of control, Jimmy!
40
00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:47,155
I keep having these dreams where
I toast my friends to a crisp.
41
00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:49,278
I have this connection with this evil book,
42
00:02:49,187 --> 00:02:51,521
people are saying that
I'm the pure evil one,
43
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everything is totally fucked!
44
00:02:53,796 --> 00:02:55,864
OUCH! What the fuck?
45
00:02:57,158 --> 00:02:59,326
Why did you do that?
46
00:02:59,239 --> 00:03:01,339
Cause I'm my own dude. All right?
47
00:03:01,255 --> 00:03:03,790
Did I do the right thing or the wrong thing?
48
00:03:03,688 --> 00:03:05,689
The wrong thing.
49
00:03:05,609 --> 00:03:07,576
Look, it doesn't matter.
50
00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:09,498
That doesn't make any sense.
51
00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:11,419
Be your own dude.
52
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:17,537
If you're not gonna help me,
I'll find someone who can. Fuck...
53
00:03:33,362 --> 00:03:35,429
NOOOO!
54
00:03:37,524 --> 00:03:39,625
Not my arm...
55
00:03:54,106 --> 00:04:01,412
Universa...mihi...planto...
mihi... universus!
56
00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:09,250
Todd! Todd!
57
00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:11,419
I think I screwed
up big time, dude.
58
00:04:11,328 --> 00:04:13,797
I can't solve your problems
for you all the time.
59
00:04:13,698 --> 00:04:15,732
Trust me, I've got my own.
60
00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:17,618
And dude, my problems, are real problems.
61
00:04:18,595 --> 00:04:21,029
And t his isn't?
62
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:23,232
Hey! Fighting with your
girlfriend again, cripshit?
63
00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,207
No.
64
00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:31,388
GRRRRRR!
65
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:49,275
So you want us to
tell you what to do?
66
00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:51,233
I'm that desperate, yes.
67
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,978
Oh we will tell you exactly what to do.
68
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,215
You're not going to tell me
to be my own dude, are you?
69
00:05:00,081 --> 00:05:02,316
Bring the pain!
70
00:05:02,226 --> 00:05:04,627
What, what are you doing?
71
00:05:04,531 --> 00:05:07,166
Your destiny lies with
a mighty battle, Todd!
72
00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:09,128
You must be ready for it!
73
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,811
Why do your grades suck, loser?
74
00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:14,894
Because, I have trouble
paying attention in class!
75
00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:17,275
It's because you have attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder.
76
00:05:17,912 --> 00:05:20,346
ADHD can be a powerful tool, little dude!
77
00:05:20,249 --> 00:05:22,250
If you learn how to use it.
78
00:05:22,169 --> 00:05:24,203
Embrace your inner loser. Loser.
79
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:26,590
Don't think about the rocks.
80
00:05:26,491 --> 00:05:28,559
Think about nothingness.
81
00:05:32,061 --> 00:05:34,128
AAAAAHHHHHH!
82
00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:47,091
Whoa! He's doing it!
83
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,332
He is now ready for the power of steel.
84
00:05:53,157 --> 00:05:55,658
Make haste to shop class.
85
00:05:55,557 --> 00:05:57,657
What? Shop class?
86
00:05:59,783 --> 00:06:01,784
Atticus, numerous times you promised to
87
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:03,771
deliver the book and you failed.
88
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:07,466
And now those teenagers have kicked
you out of their little gang.
89
00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:11,724
I have to ask myself of
what use are you to me?
90
00:06:15,788 --> 00:06:19,090
I pick up your
prescriptions, and um,
91
00:06:18,957 --> 00:06:21,026
I renewed your
passport that one time.
92
00:06:21,742 --> 00:06:24,211
And... I am your son.
93
00:06:24,112 --> 00:06:28,514
Silence! You have failed
the society as a minion.
94
00:06:29,074 --> 00:06:31,408
And you have failed me as a son!
95
00:06:31,314 --> 00:06:33,616
You are banished!
96
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,437
Banished?
97
00:06:40,342 --> 00:06:42,376
From the retirement home.
98
00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:46,153
Oh, what will I do?
99
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,682
No more changing your
god damn colostomy bag!
100
00:06:50,842 --> 00:06:54,211
No more scraping flakes of
psoriasis off my god damn lips
101
00:06:54,075 --> 00:06:56,777
from making me suck on your bony fingers!
102
00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:59,569
No more running around after you
and your stupid fuckin g book.
103
00:07:00,509 --> 00:07:03,477
Maybe I'm gonna, I'm gonna
find this book for myself
104
00:07:03,358 --> 00:07:05,326
and I'm gonna ask for a new dad.
105
00:07:05,247 --> 00:07:08,182
A better dad, a kinder dad.
A dad who respects me,
106
00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:11,700
and supports me and thinks I'm swell!
107
00:07:12,226 --> 00:07:15,527
A dad who tells me,
who tells me that he loves me,
108
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:17,495
because you never did.
109
00:07:17,411 --> 00:07:19,512
I-
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00:07:19,427 --> 00:07:21,495
I hate you, Dad!
111
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:27,226
I HATE YOU!
112
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,309
How many of you here are Pisces?
113
00:07:39,211 --> 00:07:41,879
Statistically speaking,
50% of you are going to
114
00:07:41,772 --> 00:07:44,207
be pregnant by the end of the school year.
115
00:07:44,109 --> 00:07:46,342
The rest of you are
gonna hit it big
116
00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:48,353
on the stock market, so that's good, right?
117
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:50,504
Um, Mr. Gunderson?
118
00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:53,684
You do know that astronomy and astrology
are two different things, right?
119
00:07:55,473 --> 00:07:57,874
Firstly, how very Capricorn
of you to ask that,
120
00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,998
secondly, astronomy is batshit boring.
121
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:05,007
So, I'm gonna do
some tarot cards now.
122
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:11,421
Hannah, I've got something
really important to tell you.
123
00:08:13,047 --> 00:08:15,948
Curtis, I have something really
important to tell you, too.
124
00:08:17,593 --> 00:08:19,727
Curtis, what are you doing?
125
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,608
What do you mean?
126
00:08:22,426 --> 00:08:25,661
I used the book of pure
evil to make a new arm.
127
00:08:25,531 --> 00:08:27,565
No one's gonna pick on me anymore.
128
00:08:27,484 --> 00:08:30,220
And they're gonna have to
start taking me seriously.
129
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,210
Curtis!
130
00:08:32,126 --> 00:08:34,794
Oh, that's just a side effect.
I can live with that.
131
00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:37,522
We'll get you to the science lab,
run a few tests,
132
00:08:37,408 --> 00:08:39,509
we'll figure out how to reverse it, okay?
133
00:08:39,425 --> 00:08:41,392
No! I'm not a guinea pig, Hannah.
134
00:08:42,178 --> 00:08:45,314
You care more about tests and
science than you do about me!
135
00:08:45,187 --> 00:08:48,321
The book doesn't care about you either,
Curtis! This isn't you.
136
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,673
Hey, Hannah! Wait.
137
00:08:51,589 --> 00:08:53,590
Don't touch me with that!
138
00:08:53,510 --> 00:08:55,444
Wait! Dammit!
139
00:08:58,215 --> 00:09:00,717
Well, none of the other
teachers will listen to me,
140
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:04,051
but every time those two run
out of the room, it's bad news.
141
00:09:03,913 --> 00:09:06,481
So I'm gonna go lock myself
in the teachers' lounge,
142
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:08,413
and I will see some
of you tomorrow.
143
00:09:50,737 --> 00:09:53,672
That's it, little dude.
Did you know that Crowley High
144
00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:56,891
is the only school in this
district with it's own forge?
145
00:09:56,756 --> 00:09:59,590
Wouldn't this be easier if
you guys just came inside?
146
00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:01,544
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
147
00:10:03,766 --> 00:10:06,200
This place looks like it
doesn't get used much.
148
00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:10,606
It's been closed off,
ever since... the accident.
149
00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:13,961
♪
150
00:10:13,818 --> 00:10:15,918
The accident?
151
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:28,412
♪
152
00:10:27,903 --> 00:10:29,971
What's goin' on?
153
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,588
Oh, hi. Remember me?
154
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:38,524
I, I used to be part of your gang,
until you kicked me out.
155
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:40,371
'Cause you're a Satanist.
156
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,292
That's just racist. I want the book.
157
00:10:44,037 --> 00:10:46,938
Tell me where it is,
and maybe I won't kill you.
158
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,784
I'd rather die than give you the book.
159
00:10:50,695 --> 00:10:54,065
If you think I'm going to betray my
friends you don't know Curtis Weaver.
160
00:10:53,929 --> 00:10:56,931
I didn't learn much from my father,
but I did learn this.
161
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:58,711
When you're back's
against the wall,
162
00:10:58,635 --> 00:11:00,703
you push back into their faces.
163
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,654
You pull their teeth out.
You put it where their eyes are.
164
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,533
You take their ears
and you box them.
165
00:11:05,453 --> 00:11:08,455
I didn't know what that meant,
but I thought it was cool.
166
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,236
You take them to the bank
and then you take them to
167
00:11:11,119 --> 00:11:13,220
the cleaner with the money from the bank.
168
00:11:13,136 --> 00:11:16,472
That's where I'm taking you,
and no one will know where you are.
169
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:19,339
Cause I won't tell them,
and you won't leave a forwarding address.
170
00:11:19,218 --> 00:11:21,285
Boring. Keep your eye on the pendant.
171
00:11:22,579 --> 00:11:24,647
Let your conscious mind go. Don't fight it.
172
00:11:25,396 --> 00:11:27,498
Do-
173
00:11:27,414 --> 00:11:29,415
I can't believe that
actually worked.
174
00:11:46,428 --> 00:11:49,896
Bingo will commence in the
main hall in fifteen minutes.
175
00:11:49,756 --> 00:11:52,091
Don't forget to bring your dabbers!
176
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:54,031
Hurry up, you fool.
177
00:11:57,823 --> 00:12:00,425
My dabber, where's my lucky red dabber?
178
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,756
Well where did you put it last,
your evilness?
179
00:12:14,725 --> 00:12:16,793
Daddy?
180
00:12:19,783 --> 00:12:21,884
Uhhhh.
181
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,768
Daddy.
182
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:29,031
Tell your old friend Atticus.
Where is the book?
183
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:33,753
You're not my friend. Todd is my friend.
184
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:37,150
Enough about Todd.
Tell me where the book is.
185
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,107
Or I will cut off that new
arm and turn you back into
186
00:12:39,982 --> 00:12:42,082
the pathetic cripple you've always been.
187
00:12:41,998 --> 00:12:43,933
What happened to my old arm?
188
00:12:45,072 --> 00:12:47,139
I've been here before.
189
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:51,611
It was a few years ago...
190
00:12:51,506 --> 00:12:54,575
Me and Todd had just gotten
into heavy metal and shop class.
191
00:12:55,189 --> 00:12:58,090
I wanted to make a cool
candlestick using the lathe.
192
00:12:59,573 --> 00:13:02,008
Hey, Curtis.
193
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,311
What are you talking about, I want the book.
194
00:13:04,215 --> 00:13:06,216
You wanna smoke a J before class?
195
00:13:07,128 --> 00:13:09,330
I had never smoked a J before.
196
00:13:09,242 --> 00:13:11,509
Okay, what are you,
what are you talking about?
197
00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:14,386
But when I put that sweet herb
to my lips and breathed deep.
198
00:13:14,266 --> 00:13:16,334
What does this have to do with the book?
199
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:18,619
I knew I'd never be the same again.
200
00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:20,491
Where is the book? The book!
201
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:43,640
How did I forget that?
202
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,591
Wow, talk about repressed memories.
203
00:13:49,416 --> 00:13:51,517
Actually, let's not.
204
00:13:51,432 --> 00:13:55,469
So your best friend
cut off your arm?
205
00:13:56,234 --> 00:13:58,601
Maybe Todd is the pure evil one.
206
00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:01,941
Todd. Pure. Evil.
207
00:14:01,803 --> 00:14:03,804
Okay, shut the fuck up about Todd.
208
00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,725
All I wanna know is where is-
209
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:15,954
♪
210
00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:17,637
Evil... Todd...
211
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:21,629
You shouldn't have kicked
me out of the gang.
212
00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:23,524
TODD!
213
00:14:23,444 --> 00:14:25,445
I'M COMING TO GET YOU!
214
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:31,569
YOU ASSHOOOLE!
215
00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:36,056
This is it, little dude.
Time to face your destiny.
216
00:14:35,896 --> 00:14:37,998
Will you stop with this destiny bullshit?
217
00:14:37,914 --> 00:14:39,915
I'm not the pure evil one!
218
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,835
You're the one who
released the book.
219
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:45,656
The book is your destiny. Loser.
220
00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:49,502
Your destiny and the book are one!
221
00:14:49,341 --> 00:14:51,409
Destiny!
222
00:14:53,151 --> 00:14:55,252
Fuck.
223
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,018
I'm gonna get you outta here, okay dad.
224
00:15:02,946 --> 00:15:05,047
Why the rush, sweetie?
225
00:15:04,962 --> 00:15:06,863
This is my dad! And he's been kidnapped
226
00:15:06,787 --> 00:15:08,955
by Satanists that live
in this retirement home!
227
00:15:09,445 --> 00:15:11,479
We have to call the police!
228
00:15:12,006 --> 00:15:14,440
I don't think you'll be
doing that, young lady.
229
00:15:14,342 --> 00:15:16,743
That's him, okay! That's him!
That's the Satanist!
230
00:15:16,647 --> 00:15:18,748
We're all Satanists, sweetie.
231
00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:28,352
AHHHHHHHH!
232
00:15:31,052 --> 00:15:33,354
It's on, bro!
233
00:15:33,261 --> 00:15:35,228
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, TODD!
234
00:15:36,877 --> 00:15:39,012
Whoa! Demon arm!
235
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:43,439
You're pissed because I cut your arm off,
but, dude, that was totally an accident!
236
00:15:43,281 --> 00:15:45,315
You've got an excuse
for everything!
237
00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:47,567
That weed was super potent,
it's not my fault!
238
00:15:47,474 --> 00:15:50,476
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault you're a cripple, Curtis!
239
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:52,322
GAAAAHHH!
240
00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:57,609
I've always been there for you, Todd!
241
00:15:59,351 --> 00:16:01,751
I helped you fight the book of pure evil!
242
00:16:02,263 --> 00:16:04,864
Even when you were possessed
andriried to kill me.
243
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,228
That wasn't my- Okay, yeah, that was my bad.
244
00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,231
GAAAHHHH!
245
00:16:09,146 --> 00:16:11,113
Yeah!
246
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,765
I stopped the phantom
of Crowley High
247
00:16:14,684 --> 00:16:17,018
from blowing up the school,
it was me!
248
00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,025
And you didn't even notice!
249
00:16:18,941 --> 00:16:20,909
You did what?
250
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:24,667
I gave up the only girl who ever
loved me to save your life, Todd!
251
00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:26,513
You're wrong, Curtis!
252
00:16:27,169 --> 00:16:29,237
I love you.
253
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,730
Sorry, I was scared to say it before,
254
00:16:31,649 --> 00:16:33,717
but I'm not sorry
I'm saying it now.
255
00:16:35,491 --> 00:16:42,731
♪ Dooon't...yooou...< /i> knooow ♪
256
00:16:43,783 --> 00:16:47,352
♪ I have fallen in love with you ♪
257
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:52,694
♪ For the rest of my whole life through ♪
258
00:16:53,451 --> 00:16:59,556
♪ Dooon't...yooou...< /i> knooow ♪
259
00:17:13,169 --> 00:17:15,203
Todd, NOOOOO!
260
00:17:17,683 --> 00:17:20,919
Become the one! Become your destiny!
261
00:17:22,229 --> 00:17:24,797
Do it! What are you waiting for dude?
262
00:17:26,902 --> 00:17:29,404
Hey, fuckpiece, be your own dude.
263
00:17:35,161 --> 00:17:37,196
What are you doing, dude?
264
00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:41,102
Stop telling me what to do.
265
00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:49,874
Suck it!
266
00:17:49,790 --> 00:18:18,651
♪
267
00:18:25,868 --> 00:18:27,969
Jenny's still not picking up her phone.
268
00:18:28,557 --> 00:18:30,625
I have a really bad feeling about this.
269
00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:34,824
Jenny's missing, the book of
pure evil's still out there,
270
00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:37,203
our guidance
counselor's a Satanist.
271
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:39,172
And my best friend might destroy the world.
272
00:18:57,495 --> 00:18:59,496
Destiny sucks.
273
00:19:29,887 --> 00:19:33,654
Atticus, you have no place here. Be gone!
274
00:19:35,329 --> 00:19:39,265
I'm here to give you your
belated father's day present.
275
00:19:39,106 --> 00:19:41,107
Dad.
276
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,653
The book... At last.
277
00:19:49,766 --> 00:19:53,168
You're not as big a screw up
as I thought you were, Atticus.
278
00:19:54,247 --> 00:19:56,282
Oh, this isn't your present.
279
00:19:59,786 --> 00:20:02,686
This is, daddy!!!
280
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,695
What are you waiting for?
281
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:24,711
Kiss the hand.
282
00:20:32,246 --> 00:20:35,281
Gee, I wonder what happens next?
283
00:20:35,331 --> 00:20:39,881
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