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1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,368
Are you wussies ready
to be annihilated?
2
00:00:05,769 --> 00:00:09,204
Witness the awesome power of Todd!
3
00:00:16,554 --> 00:00:20,324
I am Todd the metal God!
4
00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:27,108
I want you, Todd.
5
00:00:28,203 --> 00:00:33,274
This song goes out to the
owner of these sweet panties.
6
00:00:34,028 --> 00:00:36,029
Jenny kolinsky!
7
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:42,448
It's a love song I wrote called...
8
00:00:42,349 --> 00:00:46,218
"sexy she-witch of Hades!"
9
00:01:19,569 --> 00:01:22,571
I chort off better than you play!
10
00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:25,893
Chort offs!
11
00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:28,864
Chort offs! Chort offs!
12
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:37,091
Chort offs! Chort offs!
Chort offs! Chort offs!
13
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,885
Knock it off, Stuart.
14
00:01:42,867 --> 00:01:44,935
C'mon, we're just having
a little fun, babe.
15
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:50,152
Just wait 'til you hear
the song I wrote for you.
16
00:01:50,101 --> 00:01:52,135
You wrote a song for me?
17
00:01:52,118 --> 00:01:55,086
Thank you. Barbarian apocalyp se.
18
00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:58,553
That was wonderful.
19
00:01:58,517 --> 00:02:00,585
Next up is quarterback.
20
00:02:01,813 --> 00:02:03,881
Goodnight, crowley high!
21
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:17,330
♪ I hurt... I hurt... ♪
22
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:22,471
♪ I hurt fooooor you! ♪
23
00:02:22,936 --> 00:02:27,005
* I can't get you out of my head. *
24
00:02:28,696 --> 00:02:32,766
* I can't sleep alone in my bed. *
25
00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:38,160
can barely breathe,
or speak, or move.
26
00:02:38,842 --> 00:02:40,542
Adriano_csi www.
Addic7ed.Com
27
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:52,579
dude, we totally kicked hatch!
28
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,075
They were chorting off at us.
29
00:02:54,078 --> 00:02:56,012
I thought they were
chorting off with us.
30
00:02:55,998 --> 00:02:57,932
Face it, Curtis, we totally sucked.
31
00:02:57,918 --> 00:02:59,851
You know what your problem is?
32
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,772
You need to get baked.
33
00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:03,692
I'm not in the mood.
34
00:03:03,678 --> 00:03:05,612
What? But, you're always in the mood.
35
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,533
Man, this is about Jenny, isn't it?
36
00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:09,453
I can't stop thinking about her.
37
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,373
And it's not just her awesome rack.
38
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,727
She's smart and, like, mysterious...
39
00:03:14,143 --> 00:03:16,177
and she's got an awesome rack.
40
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,128
Man, what does she see in that twit?
41
00:03:19,648 --> 00:03:21,749
He can play guitar and
sing at the same time,
42
00:03:21,728 --> 00:03:23,896
he's really good-looking,
got a cool car,
43
00:03:23,873 --> 00:03:25,807
captain of the football team,
44
00:03:25,793 --> 00:03:27,727
and I hear he's got a jock, like,
45
00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:29,781
the size of a jock and a half.
46
00:03:30,657 --> 00:03:33,725
But, I bet your jock is,
like, the size of 2 jocks.
47
00:03:33,953 --> 00:03:37,022
And those 2 jocks
have 2 sets of bags.
48
00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:41,390
And 2 sets of bags are exactly what I need
49
00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:43,950
to make Jenny forget about
that jock-rock loser!
50
00:03:43,907 --> 00:03:46,041
Jock and a half rock loser, but yes!
51
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:48,646
Let's go show Jenny your bags.
52
00:03:49,987 --> 00:03:53,022
Jenny, how do I put
this delicately?
53
00:03:53,636 --> 00:03:56,037
Sometimes, daddies leave home
54
00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:58,672
because they just don't
want to be daddies anymore.
55
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,463
Okay, it's not about you.
56
00:04:00,453 --> 00:04:02,653
It's about not wanting
to b e with you.
57
00:04:02,628 --> 00:04:05,965
But, he didn't lea ve me, Mr.
Murphy, he disappeared.
58
00:04:05,893 --> 00:04:08,328
And I think it has
something to do with this.
59
00:04:15,494 --> 00:04:17,561
Where did you get this picture?
60
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,897
It was hidden in my dad's office.
61
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,071
He was researching the
origins of this book.
62
00:04:23,016 --> 00:04:25,550
Well, Jenny, my advice
to you is start focusing
63
00:04:25,511 --> 00:04:28,546
on your school books and not on
this fool's book. Now, shoo...
64
00:04:28,488 --> 00:04:31,157
Mr. Murphy has a lot of
business to attend to.
65
00:04:31,112 --> 00:04:33,146
Thanks for nothing.
66
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,844
Thanks for nothing.
67
00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:45,544
It's me- we're going to have to
deal with the daughter as well.
68
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,451
Okay, she's coming,
don't freak out.
69
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:49,401
Go get her, Todd.
70
00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:51,902
Thanks a lot, stoogecake!
71
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:56,444
Um- I'm sorry...
72
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,394
can you just leave it, okay?
73
00:05:03,275 --> 00:05:05,310
Enjoying the scenery?
74
00:05:05,292 --> 00:05:07,260
Um...
75
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,535
I'm- I'm Todd.
76
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,451
Is this conversation going anywhere?
77
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:14,338
Do you want it to go somewhere?
'Cause we could, like...
78
00:05:16,558 --> 00:05:19,827
we could, like, go, like, for
ice cream, or something...
79
00:05:21,742 --> 00:05:23,810
Did you just ask my woman out?
80
00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:26,466
Just leave him alone, Stuart.
81
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:28,737
Yeah, Stuart...
82
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:31,588
we'll settle this at the
battle of the bands.
83
00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:34,504
You didn't even make the cut! Pin-hole.
84
00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:57,525
Even guitars gently weep, little dude.
85
00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:01,158
Yeah? What do you know?
86
00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:03,232
Check it out, little dude...
87
00:06:03,219 --> 00:06:06,488
this self defeatist manner,
bro, does not become you.
88
00:06:06,804 --> 00:06:09,339
You gotta show all those posers, man,
89
00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:12,768
that you truly are a heavy metal God.
90
00:06:13,491 --> 00:06:15,526
But, I'm a loser.
91
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,877
You could always practice. Loser.
92
00:06:19,062 --> 00:06:21,096
Or...
93
00:06:21,078 --> 00:06:23,445
you could find the book of pure evil.
94
00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:25,896
The what?
95
00:06:25,879 --> 00:06:29,714
Anyone who listens to metal
knows the book of pure evil.
96
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,557
Loser.
97
00:06:31,543 --> 00:06:33,644
Legend has it that the
book was stitched together
98
00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:35,656
with the foreskin of Judas.
99
00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,540
That must have been some foreskin.
100
00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:41,519
I gotta get back to class.
101
00:06:41,496 --> 00:06:44,330
The book of pure evil can give
you anything you desire.
102
00:06:44,535 --> 00:06:46,603
Anything I desire?
103
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,910
Imagine, little dude, the one thing
you want more than anything.
104
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,479
Feel it, loser, deep inside.
105
00:06:54,905 --> 00:06:56,939
Deep inside?
106
00:06:56,922 --> 00:06:58,855
Inside your pants.
107
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,781
Toke?
108
00:07:07,003 --> 00:07:11,272
Imagine the one thing you
want more than anything...
109
00:07:11,804 --> 00:07:15,271
Feel it, loser, deep inside.
110
00:07:16,123 --> 00:07:18,591
Inside your pants...
111
00:07:19,004 --> 00:07:23,074
Pants... pants...
112
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,286
I want you, Todd.
113
00:07:32,541 --> 00:07:36,144
The book of pure evil can
make any desire come true.
114
00:07:36,061 --> 00:07:38,096
Toke?
115
00:07:38,077 --> 00:07:40,112
It was stitched together
from the foreskin of Judas.
116
00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:42,129
Foreskin... toke?
117
00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:44,045
Anything you desire...
118
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,964
Foreskin... foreskin...
119
00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:17,044
What you doing there, Todd?
120
00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:19,094
Oh, hey, Jimmy...
121
00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:22,775
do you think you could
open that case for me?
122
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:25,205
It's gonna cost ya.
123
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:27,155
Well, I got...
124
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:34,069
A buck forty-nine and my lucky condom.
125
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:36,439
How long have you had that lucky condom?
126
00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:38,488
I don't know, a couple of years, I guess.
127
00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:40,536
I'll take the money.
128
00:09:14,184 --> 00:09:19,187
"Planto... mihi... lascivio...
129
00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:23,398
"Valde... sanus!"
130
00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:07,563
Stooge!
131
00:10:08,632 --> 00:10:10,667
Did you just call me a stooge?
132
00:10:10,648 --> 00:10:12,616
If the stooge fits.
133
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,343
I challengeouou to a duel.
134
00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:20,497
Your guitar against mine.
135
00:10:21,434 --> 00:10:23,936
Lunch hour. In the cafeteria.
136
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,958
I'm gonna slay you, Todd.
137
00:10:27,771 --> 00:10:30,538
I'm going to make you
bleed out your hatch.
138
00:10:40,411 --> 00:10:42,479
You're going down, dude.
139
00:10:44,156 --> 00:10:46,190
He's totally going to slay you, Todd.
140
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:49,141
This time it shall be I who slays he.
141
00:10:49,085 --> 00:10:51,052
Your voice just went totally awesome.
142
00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:53,360
Hey, where'd youetet that guitar?
143
00:10:53,532 --> 00:10:55,500
Let's do this.
144
00:11:11,328 --> 00:11:16,564
Elececicic guitar music)
145
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:19,684
Hehey y metal micic)
146
00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:21,649
Yeah, , td!
147
00:11:21,632 --> 00:11:24,300
(Studentsts cerer
148
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,288
what the fuggles?
149
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,752
Help me, Jenny...
150
00:12:02,149 --> 00:12:04,217
I'm bleeding out of my hatch.
151
00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,679
Uh, there-there, baby...
152
00:12:06,662 --> 00:12:08,996
Ow!
153
00:12:08,966 --> 00:12:11,501
If I could do it again, I would
have made him bleed out his...
154
00:12:11,462 --> 00:12:13,396
Yeah, I don't know, man...
155
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:15,350
hey, Todd!
156
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:18,070
Your band is so awesome.
157
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,313
I was just thinking if you wanted to
158
00:12:20,295 --> 00:12:23,230
get together and talk about
metal, or metallurgy,
159
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,209
I would be more than happy to do that.
160
00:12:25,192 --> 00:12:27,160
Yeah, you might want to get that framed.
161
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:30,618
Um...
162
00:12:32,424 --> 00:12:35,092
No idea who she is and
she's always like-
163
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,207
dude! That was amazing.
164
00:12:38,569 --> 00:12:42,539
Uh... Curtis, meet the new
members of barbarian apocalypse.
165
00:12:42,442 --> 00:12:45,377
We're replacing quarterback at
battle of the bands tonight.
166
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:48,324
That's awesome! Two drummers! Yeah!
167
00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:54,086
I'm sorry, Curtis, but we don't
need two drummers in the band.
168
00:12:54,026 --> 00:12:55,961
What are you saying?
169
00:12:55,947 --> 00:12:57,781
I'm saying, I'm sorry, Curtis,
170
00:12:57,771 --> 00:13:01,707
but we don't need two
drummers in the band.
171
00:13:01,612 --> 00:13:03,646
Curtis...
172
00:13:03,627 --> 00:13:06,563
no, I heard you the second time.
Loud and clear.
173
00:13:14,605 --> 00:13:17,039
Welcome to crowley high's
battle of the bands.
174
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:24,789
Well, tonight we start with the
hip-hop stylings of...Posse fresh.
175
00:13:25,358 --> 00:13:27,392
Posse fresh, fresh!
176
00:13:29,198 --> 00:13:31,233
Posse fresh.
177
00:13:31,214 --> 00:13:33,182
Whatever. Rich.
178
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,242
Hi, Todd.
179
00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:41,226
You were amazing in
the cafeteria today.
180
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,522
Where'd you get that cool guitar?
181
00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:45,438
Ow!
182
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:48,360
My guitar's a little sensitive
about other people touching it.
183
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,272
Are you sensitive to touch?
184
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:53,124
Uh...
185
00:13:53,106 --> 00:13:55,340
Why don't you and I go someplace private?
186
00:13:55,506 --> 00:13:58,474
I'd love to see these magical
fingers of yours at work.
187
00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:02,816
She doesn't want your
paws on her fun bags.
188
00:14:02,963 --> 00:14:04,964
She wants her hands on the book!
189
00:14:04,947 --> 00:14:07,915
Who knows? Maybe you could
teach me a few things.
190
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:10,279
She's onto us. Eliminate her.
191
00:14:11,188 --> 00:14:13,221
Do her, then eliminate her.
192
00:14:13,203 --> 00:14:15,137
No!
193
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:17,092
Eliminate her, then do her?
194
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,236
What's going on, Todd?
195
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:21,155
Look, I gotta get ready to go on stage.
196
00:14:21,141 --> 00:14:23,076
I know you have the book, Todd!
197
00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:25,229
You have no idea how dangerous it is.
198
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:27,240
Now, hand it over!
199
00:14:27,222 --> 00:14:29,155
She just wants the book for herself!
She doesn't care about you!
200
00:14:29,142 --> 00:14:31,110
You just want the book for yourself!
201
00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:33,448
You doesn't care about me!
202
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:36,065
Yeah, you got that right!
Now, give it to me!
203
00:14:36,215 --> 00:14:38,216
Todd! Todd!
204
00:14:38,871 --> 00:14:41,340
Todd, you little dork-nugget! Let me out!
205
00:14:41,911 --> 00:14:44,178
Todd, don't you run away! Get back here!
206
00:14:47,032 --> 00:14:50,001
Our final act - mercifully...
207
00:14:49,944 --> 00:14:51,779
is barbarian apocalypse.
208
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,932
Yeah, Todd!
209
00:15:02,105 --> 00:15:04,707
Prepare to be conquered,
crowley high!
210
00:15:05,306 --> 00:15:07,374
Conquer me, Todd.
211
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:19,278
The book of pure evil?
212
00:15:19,611 --> 00:15:21,646
After all these years...
213
00:15:59,617 --> 00:16:01,550
Hello?
214
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:03,570
Help! Get me out of this locker!
215
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:05,387
I have to save the school
before everybody dies!
216
00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:07,345
Hold on!
217
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:09,697
Hurry! One more! That's good!
218
00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:23,096
Cover your ears! We've got to stop Todd!
219
00:16:51,462 --> 00:16:53,530
You shall die!
220
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:58,874
Do something!
221
00:16:58,855 --> 00:17:00,790
You do something!
222
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,709
Ahhhhhhhhhh!
223
00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:09,882
Don't do it, Curtis!
224
00:17:09,865 --> 00:17:12,066
It's the only clue I have to find my dad.
225
00:17:12,617 --> 00:17:14,685
Don't do it, Curtis!
226
00:17:14,857 --> 00:17:19,293
Join me and you will have
everything you ever dreamed of.
227
00:17:19,977 --> 00:17:22,746
I'm sorry, Todd, this bad
beast has got to burn.
228
00:17:23,657 --> 00:17:25,725
No!
229
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,528
Todd!
230
00:17:43,181 --> 00:17:45,215
Shoot!
231
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,164
Todd, are you okay?
232
00:17:47,597 --> 00:17:49,630
Don't worry about me.
233
00:17:49,612 --> 00:17:51,579
Are you okay?
234
00:17:53,485 --> 00:17:55,553
Eew, what the heck is goin' on in here?
235
00:17:56,398 --> 00:17:58,432
Uh...
236
00:17:58,414 --> 00:18:00,816
The battle of the bands
kind of got out of control.
237
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:03,134
You kids sure know how to party, man...
238
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,052
I haven't seen this much
blood since that kid
239
00:18:05,038 --> 00:18:07,105
bled out his hatch this morning.
240
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,698
Dude, that was so awesome.
241
00:18:10,095 --> 00:18:12,163
Except for almost killing everyone.
242
00:18:12,336 --> 00:18:14,337
Yeah, I'm just glad it's over.
243
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,621
What do you mean over?
That thing's still out there
244
00:18:16,592 --> 00:18:18,693
and we've got to find it
before it hurts anybody else.
245
00:18:18,672 --> 00:18:21,674
Uh, not my problem. Let somebody else deal with it.
Let's go get baked...
246
00:18:21,616 --> 00:18:23,550
awesome.
247
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,338
After everything that's happened,
how can you not feel responsible?
248
00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:29,868
God, you guys are such idiots.
249
00:18:32,466 --> 00:18:35,534
Dude, this is your chance to
finally get close to Jenny.
250
00:18:36,497 --> 00:18:38,565
Hey, Jenny, wait!
251
00:18:39,859 --> 00:18:43,895
Now, I've given it a lot of thought
and I think that the best way
252
00:18:43,795 --> 00:18:45,863
to find the book is to work together.
253
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,767
Close.
254
00:18:50,388 --> 00:18:52,455
R eal close.
255
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,111
I'm already regretting this.
256
00:18:57,876 --> 00:18:59,910
So, are we getting paid for this?
257
00:18:59,894 --> 00:19:01,827
No, we're not getting paid.
258
00:19:01,814 --> 00:19:03,747
I really think we should be
drawing some kind of salary.
259
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:05,666
Well, it's not going to happen, okay?
260
00:19:05,654 --> 00:19:07,487
We should, like, go back
to your house tonight
261
00:19:07,477 --> 00:19:09,511
and talk about how we're
going to find the book.
262
00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:11,327
Um, that's not going to happen either.
263
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,252
Yeah, it's a bit late.
Let's do it tomorrow night.
264
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,172
I can totally do it tomorrow night.
265
00:19:15,158 --> 00:19:17,092
Uh, I don't remember you
being invited, dude.
266
00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:20,361
Uh, I don't remember you
being invited, dude.
267
00:19:20,238 --> 00:19:22,273
I can't believe the book actually exists.
268
00:19:22,255 --> 00:19:24,190
It was totally like, 'pow'!
269
00:19:24,175 --> 00:19:26,110
And then I was like, 'whoa'!
270
00:19:26,095 --> 00:19:28,063
And then the book totally flew away.
271
00:19:28,688 --> 00:19:30,723
The prophecy!
272
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:33,038
We must prepare for the final countdown.
273
00:19:33,008 --> 00:19:34,942
I'll sharpen the knives and get a goat.
274
00:19:34,929 --> 00:19:36,896
Silence!
275
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,549
It is a glorious day.
276
00:19:40,976 --> 00:19:43,579
At long last we have
found the book.
277
00:19:43,729 --> 00:19:46,164
And soon it will be ours again.
278
00:19:46,737 --> 00:19:51,140
The prophecy will be fulfilled
and we will reap the rewards.
279
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:54,943
Um, yeah- about that prophecy...
280
00:19:56,659 --> 00:20:00,728
the book flew away. In flames.
All gone, bye-bye.
281
00:20:01,172 --> 00:20:05,241
Oh, atticus, it takes more
than fire to destroy the book.
282
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:09,579
It survives. Perhaps weakened,
283
00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:12,561
but searching for another soul
from which to draw power.
284
00:20:13,557 --> 00:20:17,626
It will make itself known to
whomever needs it the most.
285
00:20:18,229 --> 00:20:23,300
The insecure. The desperate.
The feeble.
286
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:27,676
They will find comfort in
the bosom of the book.
287
00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:32,051
Then there will be chaos.
288
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,834
And that's... a good thing?
289
00:20:37,884 --> 00:20:42,434
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