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1
00:00:02,701 --> 00:00:04,413
You look horrible.
What's the matter ?
2
00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:06,613
I had dinner last night
at the Irish consulate.
3
00:00:06,734 --> 00:00:09,113
My name tag said "Flaherty."
You do the math.
4
00:00:09,234 --> 00:00:12,580
Not quite the recovery time
you used to have, huh, frat boy ?
5
00:00:12,701 --> 00:00:13,680
Here's the mail.
6
00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:15,513
Whoa, whoa. You wanna
get that out of here ?
7
00:00:15,634 --> 00:00:16,946
What, this ?
8
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,079
Sorry.
Here's the rest.
9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,813
Well, O.K.
10
00:00:20,934 --> 00:00:22,213
Look...
hold all my calls.
11
00:00:22,334 --> 00:00:23,968
No interruptions.
No visitors.
12
00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:26,167
Go on in.
13
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:29,246
Mike, you gotta see this.
This is gonna kill you.
14
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:30,680
Good.
15
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,680
Introducing the office
impression of the day...
16
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,634
feeding time
at the aquarium !
17
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:50,780
Oh, that's hysterical.
18
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:52,213
Please stop.
19
00:00:52,334 --> 00:00:53,847
Oh, Mike,
you're no fun.
20
00:00:53,968 --> 00:00:55,879
I ate soap for your amusement !
21
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,646
Go away.
22
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,613
Please ! Please, people.
Will you leave Mike alone ?
23
00:01:00,734 --> 00:01:02,747
Mike, you gotta help me.
24
00:01:02,868 --> 00:01:04,901
Do my tonsils
look swollen ?
25
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,046
It hurts
when I swallow.
26
00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,413
Get back. Get out.
27
00:01:11,534 --> 00:01:13,680
Get out !
Out, out, out, out !
28
00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:15,334
Or I'll run you
through !
29
00:01:16,968 --> 00:01:19,213
There's plenty more
where that came from.
30
00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,534
Ow ! Gaaaaah ! ! !
31
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,946
Mr. Mizrahi, we'd
like to thank you again
32
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,113
for donating
your time
33
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:42,680
to our charity
fashion show.
34
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,413
I should thank you,
actually.
35
00:01:44,534 --> 00:01:46,380
If it wasn't for
working on this show,
36
00:01:46,501 --> 00:01:48,313
I'd never would
have met carter.
37
00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:50,133
What can I say ?
I'm a perk.
38
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,580
I take great pride in welcoming
diverse groups to the mansion.
39
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:58,780
We've had many gay
couples pay us a visit.
40
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,934
You're very hip, sir.
41
00:02:02,234 --> 00:02:03,367
Anyone want more wine ?
42
00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,847
Well ! Nice of you
to finally show up.
43
00:02:06,968 --> 00:02:08,133
I'll have some.
44
00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,847
Where's the food ?
I'm starving.
45
00:02:11,968 --> 00:02:13,012
Well, dear, perhaps
you should have
46
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,513
come down an hour
and a half ago
47
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,680
when we were supposed
to be eating.
48
00:02:16,801 --> 00:02:19,279
I was just being
fashionably late.
49
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,767
Ha ha ! Little joke
for you, Isaac.
50
00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:26,279
I'm sure they find your
insensitive behavior
51
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,646
quite appealing.
52
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:31,580
Randall, sit down.
Let's not make a scene.
53
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:32,701
No, we will
not be sitting.
54
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:35,767
Well, this
is exciting.
55
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,847
I am not going
to start this meal
56
00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:42,133
until you apologize
to our guests.
57
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:45,767
Well ! There it is.
I heard it.
58
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,646
Mike, she didn't
say a word.
59
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:51,747
She did. I heard her
clearly. Carter ?
60
00:02:51,868 --> 00:02:53,580
Oh ! Loud and
clear, Mike.
61
00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:56,067
Gentlemen,
if you'll excuse me.
62
00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:04,200
Wow. That was
a fabulous exit.
63
00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:08,113
So Bette Davis !
64
00:03:08,234 --> 00:03:10,646
22 years I've been
putting up with that.
65
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:14,046
Women. I tell you, you
boys have the right idea...
66
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:15,747
you know, except
for the sex.
67
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,434
Ptew !
68
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:24,480
They really got so mad that
they were throwing plates ?
69
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:26,213
Who's to say it was
out of anger ?
70
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:28,213
Do not our greek
friends break plates
71
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,313
as a sign of joy ?
72
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,646
How do you explain
the choke-hold ?
73
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:35,601
Do our greek friends
not wrestle for sport ?
74
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,513
Who am I kidding ?
I need a drink.
75
00:03:39,634 --> 00:03:40,946
Who wants to come ?
76
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,246
I can't. I have to give a
speech at my co-op board.
77
00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:45,667
They catch you sunbathing
nude on the roof again ?
78
00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:49,912
I never saw what the
big deal was with that.
79
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,734
You were
on somebody's skylight.
80
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,380
Stop living
in the past, Mike.
81
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:57,680
We need a new
laundry room.
82
00:03:57,801 --> 00:03:59,346
Ours is so bad,
none of the chicks
83
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:01,346
will wash their
skivvies in-house.
84
00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:03,146
And by chicks,
you're referring to...
85
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:05,213
broads. Dames.
Skirts.
86
00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:06,934
She-meat.
87
00:04:08,634 --> 00:04:10,546
I know for a fact
there's phenomenal talent
88
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,079
in my building,
89
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,279
but, with
no laundry room,
90
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,680
I'm left with no natural
way to approach them.
91
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:18,680
Stuart, is this really
your speech ? Mm-hmm.
92
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,313
"I'm sick of the
crummy laundry room.
93
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,946
"Do something about it.
94
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,979
It's scaring
all the tenants away."
95
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,179
At least he referred to them
as "tenants" and not "she-meat."
96
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,413
If you want I can
help you with this.
97
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:31,179
But there's stuff
you can work with ?
98
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,100
Oh, yeah. We're just
gonna tweak it a little.
99
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,279
Hey, Nikki, you wanna go for a drink ?
100
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,646
No can do, Mike.
101
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:41,033
I'm going to meet
carter and Isaac Mizrahi.
102
00:04:42,767 --> 00:04:45,646
You just feel so cool
saying that, don't you ?
103
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:47,213
You know it.
104
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:48,912
Janelle ?
105
00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:51,179
Can't. My boss is making me work late.
106
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:54,613
I'm your boss.
And, no, I'm not.
107
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:55,979
You caught me.
108
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,780
Does anybody want to go
for a drink with me ?
109
00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:01,667
Sure, Mike. I'll go out and
tip a few sudsies with you.
110
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,680
All right, big daddy.
You're on.
111
00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:09,179
Great ! It's beer night at
my favorite karaoke bar.
112
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,513
* what's new, pussycat ? *
113
00:05:10,634 --> 00:05:13,234
* whoa, whoa whoa,
whoa whoa... **
114
00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:20,847
when I see women
and children
115
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,513
dragging laundry
down the street
116
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:26,580
looking like they can't walk
another step, I ask myself, "why ?"
117
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,946
When I spend $2.50
of my hard-earned money
118
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,179
on a washing machine
with a final spin cycle
119
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,179
that leaves my clothes
sopping wet,
120
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,133
I ask myself, "why ?"
121
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:39,813
Now I, for one,
have had enough.
122
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:42,513
My fellow tenants, it's
time to stop asking "why ?"
123
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,133
And start asking,
"what if ?"
124
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,934
Amen ! I hear you,
brother !
125
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,200
Sorry. You were saying ?
126
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,513
There's me.
127
00:05:56,634 --> 00:05:58,680
And there's
Bobby Deniro
128
00:05:58,801 --> 00:06:01,313
and john-john
and Caroline,
129
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:02,968
who is wearing Prada.
130
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,946
I'm not bitter.
131
00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,380
Oh ! And look...
here in the corner
132
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,079
is our carter.
133
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,279
You didn't tell me you're
friends with Robert Deniro.
134
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,680
Yeah. We're splitting
house with him
135
00:06:14,801 --> 00:06:16,313
in the Hamptons
this summer.
136
00:06:16,434 --> 00:06:18,413
I'm standing 8 feet
behind him in a picture.
137
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:20,167
He doesn't even know
I'm alive.
138
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:23,847
Hello ?
139
00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,813
Oh. This
is important.
140
00:06:25,934 --> 00:06:29,179
Um, it's
a fashion emergency.
141
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,567
Take it in my room.
142
00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:36,747
Ok. What the hell
is a fashion emergency ?
143
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:37,912
Carter, I think Isaac
144
00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:39,747
is amazing.
145
00:06:39,868 --> 00:06:41,480
He is.
146
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,313
He's brilliant,
147
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,012
he's funny,
he's cute.
148
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,079
He's just
too much.
149
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,113
He enjoys life
in the fast lane.
150
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:50,012
I don't like the clubs,
the parties,
151
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,313
the whole fashion scene.
152
00:06:51,434 --> 00:06:54,513
And you have the nerve
to call yourself gay ?
153
00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:56,046
I miss my lectures.
154
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,146
I miss my reading group.
I want my life back.
155
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:00,246
Why ? Why don't you
just keep this one
156
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:02,701
and donate yours
to some 90-year-old ?
157
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,413
* what's new, pussycat ? *
158
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,046
* whoa, whoa whoa... *
159
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:11,300
get out of my head.
Damn you !
160
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,046
Paul, if that's you,
161
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,567
I still refuse to sing
you don't bring me flowers.
162
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,680
Hello, Michael.
163
00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:33,613
Sir.
164
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,267
So, how's the Mrs. ?
165
00:07:37,968 --> 00:07:40,847
I'm sorry, Nikki.
I'm just a quiet, boring,
166
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:42,646
slightly uptight
gay man.
167
00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:44,879
Oh. Put that
in a personal ad,
168
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,334
and you can have
anyone in town.
169
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,680
You know what ?
A little bad news.
170
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,546
Cindy can't do
your fashion show.
171
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:52,813
Oh.
172
00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:54,012
But you know what ?
173
00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:56,300
I was thinking about this.
Stand up a second.
174
00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:01,234
Actually, you know,
the dress would fit you.
175
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:06,546
How would you
like to replace her ?
176
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,012
You know,
I always had to wear
177
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:09,780
my brother's
hand-me-downs,
178
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:11,646
but I always wanted
to be glamorous.
179
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:13,380
I actually used to
go to bed at night
180
00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:15,313
and dream of walking
down the runway.
181
00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,501
And some people
just want to cure cancer.
182
00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:20,680
I say give us
a laundry room
183
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,346
where mothers don't lose precious
quarters in broken machines,
184
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,146
where children
can feel safe
185
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,747
in dry jammies,
186
00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:29,146
and where a man
can put on a clean shirt
187
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:31,446
and go to work,
proud to be a man !
188
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,713
I say give us
a laundry room,
189
00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:36,267
or we will give you a fight
like you have never seen.
190
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:44,546
Oh, it's always
been this way.
191
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,213
Every spring
like clockwork
192
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:49,179
we have this giant
month-long argument.
193
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,847
Gosh, sir.
That's... healthy.
194
00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:54,680
You blow off steam,
you get it all out.
195
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,780
That way, you don't let
the tension build up.
196
00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:59,000
We do that the other 11
months out of the year.
197
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:01,646
This is no way
to live, Mike.
198
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,934
Yeah, well, it's no Gracie
mansion, sir, but I call it home.
199
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,012
Little joke, sir. Just
trying to cheer you up.
200
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,847
I'm not sure
that's possible.
201
00:09:09,968 --> 00:09:12,434
Hey, your honor.
202
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,646
You know what they say
about time.
203
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:17,413
Yeah. Eventually
it catches up to you
204
00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:19,580
and forces
you to face...
205
00:09:19,701 --> 00:09:22,701
the emptiness
that's become your life.
206
00:09:25,968 --> 00:09:28,413
I was actually
going for, uh...
207
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,480
it heals all wounds, sir.
208
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:35,446
Well, it's late. Thanks for the
sandwich and the sympathetic ear.
209
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:37,446
I don't mean to drag you
into all this.
210
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:41,146
No, I'm just going to get
a hotel room, or something.
211
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,380
Don't you be silly, sir.
That's what I'm here for.
212
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,113
Besides, hotel
and politician
213
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:46,767
equal scandal.
214
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:50,079
You may check in
as Randall Winston,
215
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,546
but you'll be
checking out
216
00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:53,534
as the artist formerly
known as the Mayor.
217
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,033
Welcome to
chez Flaherty.
218
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:00,834
Thank you, Mike.
219
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:05,313
I really mean that.
220
00:10:05,434 --> 00:10:07,146
Aw, hey, sir.
221
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,346
That is what I'm here for.
222
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,747
And, uh,
you just let me know
223
00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,546
if there's
anything I can do
224
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,813
to make your stay
more comfortable.
225
00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:17,234
I'm sure
I'll be fine.
226
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:25,701
Nighty-night, sir.
227
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,567
Nikki, what is
wrong with you ?
228
00:10:39,634 --> 00:10:41,179
I'm practicing
my runway walk.
229
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,079
Oh. Thank god. I thought
you dislocated something.
230
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,179
Stuart,
how'd the meeting go ?
231
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,179
Did you get your washing machines ?
232
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,446
I got more than that.
233
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,546
They elected me president
of the building.
234
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:54,246
Oh, god. What have I done
to those poor people ?
235
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,446
I have 180 tenants
under my command,
236
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,780
and I wheeled supreme
executive power.
237
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,079
What are you going
to do,
238
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,646
declare war
on another building ?
239
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:06,413
Good morning, Janelle.
Any messages ?
240
00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:07,868
Yeah.
Brush your hair.
241
00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:11,046
I had a little problem
242
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:12,946
with the hot water in my
apartment this morning.
243
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:15,113
There wasn't any.
244
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,546
That's odd. I had the
most wonderful shower.
245
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,346
Very refreshing.
246
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:21,167
All 47 minutes
of it.
247
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,267
Do you know what you need
for your bathroom ?
248
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:26,367
A bouncer ?
249
00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:30,313
Eucalyptus, Mike.
Toss a few drops of that,
250
00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:32,801
and with the steam that I
generate, it'd be like a spa.
251
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,879
So, Janelle,
by any chance,
252
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,113
did Mrs. Winston call ?
253
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:41,200
Sorry, sir.
254
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:45,780
If you'd like, sir,
255
00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:48,213
I can call Mrs. Winston right now.
256
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:50,847
Oh. You want me
to leave you alone, Mike ?
257
00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:53,546
No, sir. I meant I would dial the phone
258
00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:55,480
for you,
you would talk,
259
00:11:55,601 --> 00:11:57,813
and I would leave
you alone.
260
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,646
No. I'm not making
the first gesture.
261
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,513
I am tired of crawling
back to her
262
00:12:01,634 --> 00:12:03,813
and apologizing for things
I'm not sorry about.
263
00:12:03,934 --> 00:12:06,279
Sir, correct me
if I'm wrong,
264
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,213
but isn't that what
marriage is all about ?
265
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,879
You know, Mike,
how hard it is
266
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,580
to balance a relationship
and a career in politics ?
267
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:16,979
You know, I was
thinking that
268
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,346
last night, sir, as I was
having sex with my comforter.
269
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,179
I'm proud of the work I do for
this city. You should be, sir.
270
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,713
I can hold out
as long as she can.
271
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,613
Be strong, sir.
272
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:29,801
If I have to, you know, I can
stay with you till the end of time.
273
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:31,868
Oh, god, sir.
274
00:12:35,968 --> 00:12:37,480
They're onto us.
275
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:40,012
The entire press is camped
outside Gracie mansion.
276
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:42,480
They haven't seen the Mayor
enter or exit for 3 days,
277
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,113
and I don't know
what to tell them.
278
00:12:44,234 --> 00:12:45,213
It's killing me.
279
00:12:45,334 --> 00:12:46,513
Oh,
it's killing you ?
280
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:48,012
I'm living
with the guy.
281
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:49,946
I have to watch
his television shows,
282
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:53,012
listen to his music. "Why do
you get the bathroom first ?"
283
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,613
"Because I'm the Mayor."
284
00:12:54,734 --> 00:12:56,713
Try that one on
for size.
285
00:12:56,834 --> 00:12:58,313
It's bad
but you gotta help me.
286
00:12:58,434 --> 00:13:00,580
I'm this close
to a nervous breakdown.
287
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,467
Look... you see ?
I think I got a hive.
288
00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:07,113
It's jelly, Paul.
289
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:10,179
Oh. I had a donut.
290
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,613
You got it all over
your jacket, too.
291
00:13:12,734 --> 00:13:16,413
Did you eat that donut
or mate with it ?
292
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,501
Thanks a lot. Making
fun of my eating habits.
293
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:25,046
Hey, I don't care if
the last co-op president
294
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,546
fixed every little leak.
295
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,680
Call me back when you have
people rowing in your kitchen.
296
00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,279
Come on. I don't
want to be late
297
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,267
for the charity
fashion ball.
298
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,133
President Bondek here.
299
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,680
Yes, Mrs. Schnoll.
300
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:41,413
I realize
the gutters are clogged,
301
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,413
but I'm really
in kind of a...
302
00:13:43,534 --> 00:13:46,346
uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
303
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:48,480
James, your stupid speech
ruined my life.
304
00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:51,346
I'll be returning the favor
when you least expect it.
305
00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:53,546
I'm gonna go hang out
with models, Stuart.
306
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,680
Are you coming
or not ?
307
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:55,680
Uh-huh...
308
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,146
uh-huh...
309
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,847
uh-huh...
310
00:13:58,968 --> 00:13:59,934
uh-huh !
311
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:02,480
Are they leaving already ?
312
00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:04,646
Uh-huh.
313
00:14:04,767 --> 00:14:06,601
Phone's for you.
314
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,380
Hello ?
315
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,701
Ah-hah.
316
00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:14,413
Ah-hah. Ah-hah.
317
00:14:14,534 --> 00:14:17,079
Well, you know,
my gutter was clogged once,
318
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,513
and I figured it was
just like sticks and mud
319
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:20,747
and wet leaves and stuff,
320
00:14:20,868 --> 00:14:23,646
so we got a broom handle,
and we shoved it down there,
321
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,313
and I found out where my
neighbor's cat was missing.
322
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:28,546
Ha ha ha... hello ?
323
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:29,667
Hello ?
324
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,513
Mike, this is
a groovy scene.
325
00:14:38,634 --> 00:14:41,046
I can't remember the last
time I had so much fun.
326
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,179
If "groovy"
is any indication, sir,
327
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,079
I'd say it's been
at least 25 years.
328
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,079
Ah ! Ha ha.
329
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,146
Hello, Randall.
330
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,546
Helen. I didn't expect to see you here.
331
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:52,613
Who invited you,
anyway ?
332
00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:53,680
Actually, it was...
333
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:55,912
is it really important
who invited who ?
334
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:58,313
What is important
is that fate
335
00:14:58,434 --> 00:14:59,480
brought you both
together tonight.
336
00:14:59,601 --> 00:15:02,213
I know you want believe
deeply in this charity,
337
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:04,713
so why not put
our differences aside,
338
00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:06,146
walk down that runway,
339
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:08,680
and show this town what
kind of first couple you are.
340
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:09,780
Fine.
341
00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:12,000
I'll meet you back here
in 5 minutes.
342
00:15:14,634 --> 00:15:17,334
Well, that kind of love
just warms my heart.
343
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,847
I love fashion,
344
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:22,446
and there are so many
beautiful people.
345
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:26,646
James, we're
genetically inferior.
346
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:29,334
They've been programmed
not to talk to us.
347
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,313
Hi.
348
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,546
I'm Stuart Bondek.
349
00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:36,546
Hi.
350
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:39,113
I make a lot less
money than you,
351
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:40,646
and I'm not nearly
your physical match,
352
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,480
but how about throwing
away your pride
353
00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:46,667
and lowering yourself down
to my level for, mmm, a night ?
354
00:15:51,801 --> 00:15:53,213
Wait a second.
355
00:15:53,334 --> 00:15:55,113
I know you.
356
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:57,067
You're the president
of my co-op.
357
00:15:58,334 --> 00:15:59,680
No, I'm not.
358
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:01,546
Yes, you are. I got
the flyer you put out
359
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,646
announcing it
to the building.
360
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:06,113
Then is there anything
I can do for you ?
361
00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:10,434
You could start by wiping the
butt print off my skylight.
362
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:14,813
You look so much older
through the glass.
363
00:16:14,934 --> 00:16:16,634
That was my mother.
364
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:29,879
Oh ! Good. The dress.
365
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,346
You better
work it, honey.
366
00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:34,213
How do you feel ?
367
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:35,747
I... I can't breathe.
368
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:37,033
Perfect !
369
00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:40,546
* I'm too sexy
for my job *
370
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,680
* too sexy for my job *
371
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:43,901
* too sexy... *
372
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,646
hey, sexy.
Have you seen Isaac ?
373
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:55,079
Yeah. He's talking
to the lighting guy.
374
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,113
They're either
talking about work,
375
00:16:56,234 --> 00:16:57,234
or he's trying
to land a plane.
376
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,079
Hey, Mike. You don't have to be scared.
377
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,279
You can go out there,
sit down.
378
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,279
No, no, carter. This is the perfect spot
379
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,480
to keep an eye
on the Mayor.
380
00:17:05,601 --> 00:17:06,747
I got press
everywhere here.
381
00:17:06,868 --> 00:17:09,012
I got people
at every door.
382
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:11,747
Anything happens, we can
get him out in 8 seconds.
383
00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:12,879
Enjoy.
384
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,346
Yeah. Thanks.
385
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,634
* I'm too sexy
for my job... *
386
00:17:17,801 --> 00:17:19,179
this shouldn't
be so bad.
387
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,012
If I have to stay here
for more than an hour,
388
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,513
I'm going to kill
someone.
389
00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,634
Dear god,
let it be me.
390
00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:32,747
I am doing so much
with so little here.
391
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:36,313
You should come to one
of my shows sometime.
392
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:37,313
Oh, yeah.
393
00:17:37,434 --> 00:17:39,033
Will you embrace it ?
394
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,534
I'll give it a shot.
395
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:47,413
Wow.
396
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,400
God, I'm good.
397
00:17:50,901 --> 00:17:53,079
Mike, check this out !
398
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,046
Jeez, Nikki. You've got beautiful...
399
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:57,100
dress.
400
00:17:58,634 --> 00:17:59,801
He approves.
401
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,713
noo-oo-oo-oo !
402
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,200
Aaaaah !
403
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,767
You're doing
just great.
404
00:18:42,234 --> 00:18:44,613
Oh. Nice distraction back
there at the show, Mike.
405
00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:46,580
Don't thank me, sir.
Thank Nikki.
406
00:18:46,701 --> 00:18:49,346
She really took one
for the team.
407
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:50,747
Is she ok ?
408
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,346
Oh, I think so.
409
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,912
I mean, I don't know 'cause
she's not talking to me.
410
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:57,747
Well ! I think I've got about everything.
411
00:18:57,868 --> 00:19:00,780
Anything you've forgot,
I'll just bring it. Okay.
412
00:19:00,901 --> 00:19:03,213
Uh, sir, wait a minute.
413
00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,346
I didn't know
you used...
414
00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:06,713
herbal extract.
415
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:07,813
Mm-hmm.
416
00:19:07,934 --> 00:19:10,446
This is my shampoo,
isn't it, sir ?
417
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,580
Didn't I bring
that with me ?
418
00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:13,713
I thought
both your suitcase
419
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:15,813
and your hair
looked fuller.
420
00:19:15,934 --> 00:19:18,446
Oh ! So, I accidentally
took your shampoo.
421
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:21,546
And my conditioner...
422
00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:23,813
sir.
423
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:25,100
My pumice stone ?
424
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,580
Mike...
sir, it's all right.
425
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,179
You just keep those.
426
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,767
I am gonna have to
charge you for the robe.
427
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,879
Thanks for
having me, Mike.
428
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,580
I just don't think
I could have...
429
00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:39,780
no need to explain.
430
00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:41,246
We'll just behave
like those people
431
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:44,313
who crashed in the Andes
and not talk about it.
432
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,979
That shouldn't
be too difficult.
433
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:49,046
Helen and I have been
pretending for years.
434
00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:51,113
You know, Mike, I wish you had known her
435
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:52,713
when we first met.
436
00:19:52,834 --> 00:19:54,480
There was
a sweetness to her,
437
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:55,868
a gentleness.
438
00:19:59,901 --> 00:20:01,313
I know it's hard
to believe,
439
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,580
but I just want
you to know
440
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,713
that it's not
all her fault.
441
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:05,912
Look, sir.
442
00:20:06,033 --> 00:20:08,012
Sometimes people
grow together,
443
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:10,646
sometimes they grow
apart, they change.
444
00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:12,847
Sometimes
they just move on.
445
00:20:12,968 --> 00:20:14,780
Think of the ramifications of a Mayor
446
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:18,079
who can't even keep
his own marriage intact.
447
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,300
Hmph.
448
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:24,613
You know, sir,
I, uh...
449
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:26,847
I hate the idea
of you going back,
450
00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:28,979
knowing how much
you don't want to.
451
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,413
What are you saying ?
452
00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:32,480
I'm just saying
maybe you should do
453
00:20:32,601 --> 00:20:36,380
whatever makes you happy and let
me worry about the ramifications.
454
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,413
Seriously, Mike,
divorce ?
455
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:40,879
I never even
said the word.
456
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,067
Well,
you just did, sir.
457
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,012
You know,
I gotta be honest.
458
00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:47,580
Sometimes
I feel it would be
459
00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:50,747
the right thing to do...
for both of us.
460
00:20:50,868 --> 00:20:52,780
I'm with you.
461
00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:54,367
Well, thank you, Mike.
462
00:20:56,567 --> 00:20:58,146
You know, the next
couple of weeks
463
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,179
are going to be
extremely difficult.
464
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,979
Maybe if I need
someplace to stay...
465
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,567
not on your life,
sir.
466
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:10,313
This new speech better work.
I want out of this job.
467
00:21:10,434 --> 00:21:13,634
Don't worry about it. I plagiarized
quite a bit from Jesse Jackson.
468
00:21:14,968 --> 00:21:16,113
Ahem.
469
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:18,780
Dear, dear, neighbors.
470
00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:20,346
It is with great regret
and heavy heart
471
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,346
that I must stand before you
and reject the high title
472
00:21:22,467 --> 00:21:24,501
you have generously
bestowed upon me.
473
00:21:28,968 --> 00:21:30,346
I reiterate...
474
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:33,413
my role was never
to complicate or obligate.
475
00:21:33,534 --> 00:21:35,813
No, my role
was to generate !
476
00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:38,046
My role was to liberate !
477
00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:40,413
My role was to increase
the number of machines
478
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:41,979
to an even-ate !
479
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,380
Good people
of bailey manor,
480
00:21:43,501 --> 00:21:44,546
my work here is done !
481
00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:45,634
Good night !
482
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,801
When are you going
to unstop my gutters ?
483
00:21:55,033 --> 00:21:57,634
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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