All language subtitles for Spin City - 1x23 - The Mayor Who Came to Dinner.DVD.SAiNTS.en

You look horrible.
What's the matter ?

I had dinner last night
at the Irish consulate.

My name tag said "Flaherty."
You do the math.

Not quite the recovery time
you used to have, huh, frat boy ?

Here's the mail.

Whoa, whoa. You wanna
get that out of here ?

What, this ?

Sorry.
Here's the rest.

Well, O.K.

Look...
hold all my calls.

No interruptions.
No visitors.

Go on in.

Mike, you gotta see this.
This is gonna kill you.

Good.

Introducing the office
impression of the day...

feeding time
at the aquarium !

Oh, that's hysterical.

Please stop.

Oh, Mike,
you're no fun.

I ate soap for your amusement !

Go away.

Please ! Please, people.
Will you leave Mike alone ?

Mike, you gotta help me.

Do my tonsils
look swollen ?

It hurts
when I swallow.

Get back. Get out.

Get out !
Out, out, out, out !

Or I'll run you
through !

There's plenty more
where that came from.

Ow ! Gaaaaah ! ! !

Mr. Mizrahi, we'd
like to thank you again

for donating
your time

to our charity
fashion show.

I should thank you,
actually.

If it wasn't for
working on this show,

I'd never would
have met carter.

What can I say ?
I'm a perk.

I take great pride in welcoming
diverse groups to the mansion.

We've had many gay
couples pay us a visit.

You're very hip, sir.

Anyone want more wine ?

Well ! Nice of you
to finally show up.

I'll have some.

Where's the food ?
I'm starving.

Well, dear, perhaps
you should have

come down an hour
and a half ago

when we were supposed
to be eating.

I was just being
fashionably late.

Ha ha ! Little joke
for you, Isaac.

I'm sure they find your
insensitive behavior

quite appealing.

Randall, sit down.
Let's not make a scene.

No, we will
not be sitting.

Well, this
is exciting.

I am not going
to start this meal

until you apologize
to our guests.

Well ! There it is.
I heard it.

Mike, she didn't
say a word.

She did. I heard her
clearly. Carter ?

Oh ! Loud and
clear, Mike.

Gentlemen,
if you'll excuse me.

Wow. That was
a fabulous exit.

So Bette Davis !

22 years I've been
putting up with that.

Women. I tell you, you
boys have the right idea...

you know, except
for the sex.

Ptew !

They really got so mad that
they were throwing plates ?

Who's to say it was
out of anger ?

Do not our greek
friends break plates

as a sign of joy ?

How do you explain
the choke-hold ?

Do our greek friends
not wrestle for sport ?

Who am I kidding ?
I need a drink.

Who wants to come ?

I can't. I have to give a
speech at my co-op board.

They catch you sunbathing
nude on the roof again ?

I never saw what the
big deal was with that.

You were
on somebody's skylight.

Stop living
in the past, Mike.

We need a new
laundry room.

Ours is so bad,
none of the chicks

will wash their
skivvies in-house.

And by chicks,
you're referring to...

broads. Dames.
Skirts.

She-meat.

I know for a fact
there's phenomenal talent

in my building,

but, with
no laundry room,

I'm left with no natural
way to approach them.

Stuart, is this really
your speech ? Mm-hmm.

"I'm sick of the
crummy laundry room.

"Do something about it.

It's scaring
all the tenants away."

At least he referred to them
as "tenants" and not "she-meat."

If you want I can
help you with this.

But there's stuff
you can work with ?

Oh, yeah. We're just
gonna tweak it a little.

Hey, Nikki, you wanna go for a drink ?

No can do, Mike.

I'm going to meet
carter and Isaac Mizrahi.

You just feel so cool
saying that, don't you ?

You know it.

Janelle ?

Can't. My boss is making me work late.

I'm your boss.
And, no, I'm not.

You caught me.

Does anybody want to go
for a drink with me ?

Sure, Mike. I'll go out and
tip a few sudsies with you.

All right, big daddy.
You're on.

Great ! It's beer night at
my favorite karaoke bar.

* what's new, pussycat ? *

* whoa, whoa whoa,
whoa whoa... **

when I see women
and children

dragging laundry
down the street

looking like they can't walk
another step, I ask myself, "why ?"

When I spend $2.50
of my hard-earned money

on a washing machine
with a final spin cycle

that leaves my clothes
sopping wet,

I ask myself, "why ?"

Now I, for one,
have had enough.

My fellow tenants, it's
time to stop asking "why ?"

And start asking,
"what if ?"

Amen ! I hear you,
brother !

Sorry. You were saying ?

There's me.

And there's
Bobby Deniro

and john-john
and Caroline,

who is wearing Prada.

I'm not bitter.

Oh ! And look...
here in the corner

is our carter.

You didn't tell me you're
friends with Robert Deniro.

Yeah. We're splitting
house with him

in the Hamptons
this summer.

I'm standing 8 feet
behind him in a picture.

He doesn't even know
I'm alive.

Hello ?

Oh. This
is important.

Um, it's
a fashion emergency.

Take it in my room.

Ok. What the hell
is a fashion emergency ?

Carter, I think Isaac

is amazing.

He is.

He's brilliant,

he's funny,
he's cute.

He's just
too much.

He enjoys life
in the fast lane.

I don't like the clubs,
the parties,

the whole fashion scene.

And you have the nerve
to call yourself gay ?

I miss my lectures.

I miss my reading group.
I want my life back.

Why ? Why don't you
just keep this one

and donate yours
to some 90-year-old ?

* what's new, pussycat ? *

* whoa, whoa whoa... *

get out of my head.
Damn you !

Paul, if that's you,

I still refuse to sing
you don't bring me flowers.

Hello, Michael.

Sir.

So, how's the Mrs. ?

I'm sorry, Nikki.
I'm just a quiet, boring,

slightly uptight
gay man.

Oh. Put that
in a personal ad,

and you can have
anyone in town.

You know what ?
A little bad news.

Cindy can't do
your fashion show.

Oh.

But you know what ?

I was thinking about this.
Stand up a second.

Actually, you know,
the dress would fit you.

How would you
like to replace her ?

You know,
I always had to wear

my brother's
hand-me-downs,

but I always wanted
to be glamorous.

I actually used to
go to bed at night

and dream of walking
down the runway.

And some people
just want to cure cancer.

I say give us
a laundry room

where mothers don't lose precious
quarters in broken machines,

where children
can feel safe

in dry jammies,

and where a man
can put on a clean shirt

and go to work,
proud to be a man !

I say give us
a laundry room,

or we will give you a fight
like you have never seen.

Oh, it's always
been this way.

Every spring
like clockwork

we have this giant
month-long argument.

Gosh, sir.
That's... healthy.

You blow off steam,
you get it all out.

That way, you don't let
the tension build up.

We do that the other 11
months out of the year.

This is no way
to live, Mike.

Yeah, well, it's no Gracie
mansion, sir, but I call it home.

Little joke, sir. Just
trying to cheer you up.

I'm not sure
that's possible.

Hey, your honor.

You know what they say
about time.

Yeah. Eventually
it catches up to you

and forces
you to face...

the emptiness
that's become your life.

I was actually
going for, uh...

it heals all wounds, sir.

Well, it's late. Thanks for the
sandwich and the sympathetic ear.

I don't mean to drag you
into all this.

No, I'm just going to get
a hotel room, or something.

Don't you be silly, sir.
That's what I'm here for.

Besides, hotel
and politician

equal scandal.

You may check in
as Randall Winston,

but you'll be
checking out

as the artist formerly
known as the Mayor.

Welcome to
chez Flaherty.

Thank you, Mike.

I really mean that.

Aw, hey, sir.

That is what I'm here for.

And, uh,
you just let me know

if there's
anything I can do

to make your stay
more comfortable.

I'm sure
I'll be fine.

Nighty-night, sir.

Nikki, what is
wrong with you ?

I'm practicing
my runway walk.

Oh. Thank god. I thought
you dislocated something.

Stuart,
how'd the meeting go ?

Did you get your washing machines ?

I got more than that.

They elected me president
of the building.

Oh, god. What have I done
to those poor people ?

I have 180 tenants
under my command,

and I wheeled supreme
executive power.

What are you going
to do,

declare war
on another building ?

Good morning, Janelle.
Any messages ?

Yeah.
Brush your hair.

I had a little problem

with the hot water in my
apartment this morning.

There wasn't any.

That's odd. I had the
most wonderful shower.

Very refreshing.

All 47 minutes
of it.

Do you know what you need
for your bathroom ?

A bouncer ?

Eucalyptus, Mike.
Toss a few drops of that,

and with the steam that I
generate, it'd be like a spa.

So, Janelle,
by any chance,

did Mrs. Winston call ?

Sorry, sir.

If you'd like, sir,

I can call Mrs. Winston right now.

Oh. You want me
to leave you alone, Mike ?

No, sir. I meant I would dial the phone

for you,
you would talk,

and I would leave
you alone.

No. I'm not making
the first gesture.

I am tired of crawling
back to her

and apologizing for things
I'm not sorry about.

Sir, correct me
if I'm wrong,

but isn't that what
marriage is all about ?

You know, Mike,
how hard it is

to balance a relationship
and a career in politics ?

You know, I was
thinking that

last night, sir, as I was
having sex with my comforter.

I'm proud of the work I do for
this city. You should be, sir.

I can hold out
as long as she can.

Be strong, sir.

If I have to, you know, I can
stay with you till the end of time.

Oh, god, sir.

They're onto us.

The entire press is camped
outside Gracie mansion.

They haven't seen the Mayor
enter or exit for 3 days,

and I don't know
what to tell them.

It's killing me.

Oh,
it's killing you ?

I'm living
with the guy.

I have to watch
his television shows,

listen to his music. "Why do
you get the bathroom first ?"

"Because I'm the Mayor."

Try that one on
for size.

It's bad
but you gotta help me.

I'm this close
to a nervous breakdown.

Look... you see ?
I think I got a hive.

It's jelly, Paul.

Oh. I had a donut.

You got it all over
your jacket, too.

Did you eat that donut
or mate with it ?

Thanks a lot. Making
fun of my eating habits.

Hey, I don't care if
the last co-op president

fixed every little leak.

Call me back when you have
people rowing in your kitchen.

Come on. I don't
want to be late

for the charity
fashion ball.

President Bondek here.

Yes, Mrs. Schnoll.

I realize
the gutters are clogged,

but I'm really
in kind of a...

uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

James, your stupid speech
ruined my life.

I'll be returning the favor
when you least expect it.

I'm gonna go hang out
with models, Stuart.

Are you coming
or not ?

Uh-huh...

uh-huh...

uh-huh...

uh-huh !

Are they leaving already ?

Uh-huh.

Phone's for you.

Hello ?

Ah-hah.

Ah-hah. Ah-hah.

Well, you know,
my gutter was clogged once,

and I figured it was
just like sticks and mud

and wet leaves and stuff,

so we got a broom handle,
and we shoved it down there,

and I found out where my
neighbor's cat was missing.

Ha ha ha... hello ?

Hello ?

Mike, this is
a groovy scene.

I can't remember the last
time I had so much fun.

If "groovy"
is any indication, sir,

I'd say it's been
at least 25 years.

Ah ! Ha ha.

Hello, Randall.

Helen. I didn't expect to see you here.

Who invited you,
anyway ?

Actually, it was...

is it really important
who invited who ?

What is important
is that fate

brought you both
together tonight.

I know you want believe
deeply in this charity,

so why not put
our differences aside,

walk down that runway,

and show this town what
kind of first couple you are.

Fine.

I'll meet you back here
in 5 minutes.

Well, that kind of love
just warms my heart.

I love fashion,

and there are so many
beautiful people.

James, we're
genetically inferior.

They've been programmed
not to talk to us.

Hi.

I'm Stuart Bondek.

Hi.

I make a lot less
money than you,

and I'm not nearly
your physical match,

but how about throwing
away your pride

and lowering yourself down
to my level for, mmm, a night ?

Wait a second.

I know you.

You're the president
of my co-op.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. I got
the flyer you put out

announcing it
to the building.

Then is there anything
I can do for you ?

You could start by wiping the
butt print off my skylight.

You look so much older
through the glass.

That was my mother.

Oh ! Good. The dress.

You better
work it, honey.

How do you feel ?

I... I can't breathe.

Perfect !

* I'm too sexy
for my job *

* too sexy for my job *

* too sexy... *

hey, sexy.
Have you seen Isaac ?

Yeah. He's talking
to the lighting guy.

They're either
talking about work,

or he's trying
to land a plane.

Hey, Mike. You don't have to be scared.

You can go out there,
sit down.

No, no, carter. This is the perfect spot

to keep an eye
on the Mayor.

I got press
everywhere here.

I got people
at every door.

Anything happens, we can
get him out in 8 seconds.

Enjoy.

Yeah. Thanks.

* I'm too sexy
for my job... *

this shouldn't
be so bad.

If I have to stay here
for more than an hour,

I'm going to kill
someone.

Dear god,
let it be me.

I am doing so much
with so little here.

You should come to one
of my shows sometime.

Oh, yeah.

Will you embrace it ?

I'll give it a shot.

Wow.

God, I'm good.

Mike, check this out !

Jeez, Nikki. You've got beautiful...

dress.

He approves.

noo-oo-oo-oo !

Aaaaah !

You're doing
just great.

Oh. Nice distraction back
there at the show, Mike.

Don't thank me, sir.
Thank Nikki.

She really took one
for the team.

Is she ok ?

Oh, I think so.

I mean, I don't know 'cause
she's not talking to me.

Well ! I think I've got about everything.

Anything you've forgot,
I'll just bring it. Okay.

Uh, sir, wait a minute.

I didn't know
you used...

herbal extract.

Mm-hmm.

This is my shampoo,
isn't it, sir ?

Didn't I bring
that with me ?

I thought
both your suitcase

and your hair
looked fuller.

Oh ! So, I accidentally
took your shampoo.

And my conditioner...

sir.

My pumice stone ?

Mike...
sir, it's all right.

You just keep those.

I am gonna have to
charge you for the robe.

Thanks for
having me, Mike.

I just don't think
I could have...

no need to explain.

We'll just behave
like those people

who crashed in the Andes
and not talk about it.

That shouldn't
be too difficult.

Helen and I have been
pretending for years.

You know, Mike, I wish you had known her

when we first met.

There was
a sweetness to her,

a gentleness.

I know it's hard
to believe,

but I just want
you to know

that it's not
all her fault.

Look, sir.

Sometimes people
grow together,

sometimes they grow
apart, they change.

Sometimes
they just move on.

Think of the ramifications of a Mayor

who can't even keep
his own marriage intact.

Hmph.

You know, sir,
I, uh...

I hate the idea
of you going back,

knowing how much
you don't want to.

What are you saying ?

I'm just saying
maybe you should do

whatever makes you happy and let
me worry about the ramifications.

Seriously, Mike,
divorce ?

I never even
said the word.

Well,
you just did, sir.

You know,
I gotta be honest.

Sometimes
I feel it would be

the right thing to do...
for both of us.

I'm with you.

Well, thank you, Mike.

You know, the next
couple of weeks

are going to be
extremely difficult.

Maybe if I need
someplace to stay...

not on your life,
sir.

This new speech better work.
I want out of this job.

Don't worry about it. I plagiarized
quite a bit from Jesse Jackson.

Ahem.

Dear, dear, neighbors.

It is with great regret
and heavy heart

that I must stand before you
and reject the high title

you have generously
bestowed upon me.

I reiterate...

my role was never
to complicate or obligate.

No, my role
was to generate !

My role was to liberate !

My role was to increase
the number of machines

to an even-ate !

Good people
of bailey manor,

my work here is done !

Good night !

When are you going
to unstop my gutters ?

Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.
9999
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