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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:27,654 (POP MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) 2 00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:39,916 (LIP-SYNCING) 3 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,398 (SINGING) 4 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,839 (SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 5 00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,014 (MACHINES BEEPING) 6 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,922 (MONKEYS CHITTERING) 7 00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:11,007 (LOUDLY) Mind if I do a quick mop? 8 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,509 You're shouting. 9 00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:13,676 What? 10 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,682 - I can come back later. - No, it's fine. 11 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,101 Just don't touch anything. 12 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,897 (MOCKING) "Just don't touch anything." 13 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,023 Dickbreath. 14 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,860 You want a Tic Tac? 15 00:02:30,944 --> 00:02:31,984 - (JINGLING) - (SCREECHING) 16 00:02:32,946 --> 00:02:35,281 All right. I'll take that as a no. 17 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:47,502 (WHIRRING) 18 00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:52,382 (SOFTLY) Oh. Come on. 19 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,052 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 20 00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:19,784 Oh... 21 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:24,247 What the hell happened to you, dude? 22 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,675 Dod? What the fuck kind of name is Dod? 23 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,595 - (GASPS) Oh! - (CLATTERING) 24 00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,852 Go, go, go, go, go. 25 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,022 Come on! 26 00:03:49,147 --> 00:03:50,356 (MONITOR BEEPING) 27 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:56,029 No! Oh, no, no, no. Reset, reset. 28 00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,615 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 29 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,617 Dod! Come on! 30 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,704 Clear! Accept! Accept the motherfucker! 31 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,040 Shit. Okay. All right. 32 00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:08,458 Um... 33 00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:11,461 I'll do CPR. Yeah. 34 00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:16,799 (GRUNTING) 35 00:04:20,345 --> 00:04:23,681 - All right! Some Takis Fuego. - (KEYS BEEPING) 36 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:28,728 Come on! 37 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,188 (GRUNTING CONTINUES) 38 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,815 Come on, breathe, dude! 39 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,278 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 40 00:04:37,362 --> 00:04:39,697 Oh, shit! Oh, hell, no. 41 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,409 Okay. All right. All right. Come on, Dod. 42 00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:44,786 Come on. We got this. 43 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,337 Please, come on, Dod! (PANTING) 44 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,005 One, one thousand! 45 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,382 Two, one thousand! 46 00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,467 Ah! 47 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:01,803 (SCREAMING) 48 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:04,847 (GROWLING) 49 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:13,898 (GRUNTING) 50 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:16,609 (SNARLING) 51 00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:21,698 No, no, no! 52 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,200 No, no, no! 53 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,284 (SHOUTING) 54 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,371 Come on. 55 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,583 Ah! 56 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,336 (GLASS SHATTERING) 57 00:05:47,974 --> 00:05:48,975 - (INAUDIBLE) - (BANGING) 58 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,063 You are kidding me. 59 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,243 Oh, crap. 60 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,093 Why? 61 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:35,063 - (GROWLING) - (SCREAMING) 62 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,390 ROGERS: You know what's cooler than cool? 63 00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:56,959 ALL: Scouting! 64 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,127 ROGERS: Action! 65 00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:00,880 Hi, there, guys. My name is Scout Leader Rogers. 66 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:05,051 And I'm here to show you what scouting is all about. Come... 67 00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:08,304 Being a Scout is about the bonds of friendship. 68 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,640 Check it out! 69 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:15,686 These Scouts are on their way to earning a Bow and Arrow Badge! 70 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:20,149 Badges are the Scouts' highest symbol of achievement. 71 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,986 Scouts can earn all sorts of badges. 72 00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,990 What's cooler than cool? 73 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,992 ALL: Scouting! 74 00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:36,833 All right, are you in or are you in? 75 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,003 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 76 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,680 Hey, listen, there's free cookies every Friday. 77 00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:48,344 We do sing-alongs on Saturdays. 78 00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:50,346 It looks great on a college application! 79 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:53,933 (CHUCKLING) I love this tragic ritual. 80 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,269 Someone's gonna sign up, guys! 81 00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:57,520 We have to keep trying! 82 00:07:57,854 --> 00:08:00,148 Augie, a unicorn's gonna fly out of your ass 83 00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:01,524 before somebody joins. 84 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,442 Carter! Language. 85 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,902 Yeah, he's right. Nobody's ever gonna sign up. 86 00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:06,279 It's just a waste of time. 87 00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,906 Ye of little faith. Where's that Scout spirit? 88 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,492 Look, guys, we're not gonna quit trying just because 89 00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:13,661 we lost a couple hours sitting around on our butts 90 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:14,954 with nothing to show for it. 91 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,582 I mean, some people spend their entire lives 92 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,792 and have nothing to show for it. 93 00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:23,796 Well... 94 00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:26,424 I think we all know it's Augie's special night. 95 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,259 (CHEERING) 96 00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,846 After years of hard work and dedication, 97 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:35,141 he will receive the highest honor of a Scout, 98 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,559 the Condor Badge, 99 00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,895 in a ceremony at tonight's campout. 100 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:41,063 Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) Let's see. 101 00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:42,815 Latrine duty: Carter. 102 00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:44,692 No! No, no, no, no. I always dig the shitter. 103 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,255 It's called a latrine, not a shitter. 104 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,696 All right, Ben, you're on wiener duty. 105 00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,907 - (GRUNTING) - That's enough. 106 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,826 Carter, nobody eats a hot dog like this. 107 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:54,911 (GRUNTING) 108 00:08:55,745 --> 00:08:58,581 All right. Ben, why don't you lead us in the Scout Oath? 109 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:00,541 - Come on. - All right. 110 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,837 ALL: This do I swear: 111 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,590 To live courageously, 112 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,550 to help others when I can, 113 00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:13,346 defend what I must, so help me God. 114 00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:14,931 Scouts forever! 115 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,349 Scouts forever! 116 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,100 Scouts forever. 117 00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,186 Scouts forever. 118 00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:21,854 ALL: Forever! 119 00:09:21,938 --> 00:09:23,439 (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 120 00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,069 Ben, we have to tell Augie. 121 00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:29,528 - I know. I know. - We're ditching Scouts. 122 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,655 Yeah, we'll tell him. 123 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,864 We've been talking about it for over a year. 124 00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,699 I know. We just have to find the right time. 125 00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,284 Okay, we'll do it tonight, then. 126 00:09:35,368 --> 00:09:37,286 No, we can't tell him tonight. He's getting his Condor Badge. 127 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,206 He's been working toward this ever since he joined Scouts. 128 00:09:40,373 --> 00:09:41,958 You know how much it means to him. 129 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,877 Especially since his dad can't be there. 130 00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:47,755 It's been two years, Ben. 131 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:51,300 We can't just stay in Scouts because we feel sorry for him. 132 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,261 Come on, that's not the only reason we're staying in Scouts. 133 00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:54,387 Come on, you've had fun. 134 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:57,265 Had fun, okay? Past tense. Had. 135 00:09:57,348 --> 00:10:00,142 And now I am ready to move on. I mean, you realize 136 00:10:00,226 --> 00:10:02,061 it's gonna be junior year next year. 137 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,105 I mean, you know what that means, right? 138 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,564 We start thinking about college. 139 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,567 We start thinking about pussy, Ben! 140 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,404 Come on. Junior year is when all the girls become sluts. 141 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,488 - Oh, really? - Yes. 142 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:15,491 And if we're sitting here in these Scout uniforms, 143 00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,827 it's gonna be the male version of a chastity belt, Ben. 144 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:19,662 (BOTH SHOUTING) 145 00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:24,834 Oh, shit. Shit. (PANTING) 146 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,211 What the fuck was that? 147 00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,922 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 148 00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:36,262 Oh, shit. 149 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,306 Dude, that scared the shit out of me. 150 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,932 Yeah, me, too. 151 00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,018 No, like, literally, a little shit came out. 152 00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:43,436 Dude, stop. 153 00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:48,858 Jesus Christ. You hood-fucked Bambi. 154 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,776 I didn't mean to! It wasn't my fault, Carter! 155 00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,361 It was just standing there! 156 00:10:59,327 --> 00:11:00,328 (PHONE CAMERA CLICKING) 157 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,042 Oh, shit. 158 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,877 Oh. Damn it. 159 00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,629 Great. Just awesome. 160 00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:14,133 Is that a spare for your bike or the car? 161 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:17,053 Shit. My dad's gonna be so pissed. 162 00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,388 Carter, where are the other lug nuts? 163 00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:21,307 How should I know? I've been sitting here doing nothing. 164 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,725 Yeah. I noticed. 165 00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,146 Oh. Dude, that's my sister. 166 00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:29,648 Kendall! Kendall! 167 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:31,984 Hey! 168 00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,113 Hey. 169 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,657 Can you help us? 170 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,952 (ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING) 171 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:57,885 - JEFF: Catch! - Ow! 172 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,345 - KENDALL: Jeff! - What? 173 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:00,513 I said, "Catch." 174 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,014 I thought he had it. 175 00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:04,350 - Sorry, bro. It's my bad. - Yeah. 176 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,602 Are you guys okay? I mean, what happened? 177 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:09,355 We hit a white-tailed deer. It was huge. 178 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,273 Yeah. We were just driving, and then it was like, boom! 179 00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:13,692 You guys hit a deer? That's awesome. 180 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:16,112 Nope, not awesome. Are you kidding? 181 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,947 Nothing awesome about it. Look at my car. 182 00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:19,115 (CLEARS THROAT) 183 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,368 What's up, Chloe? 184 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,870 - Hey... - Hey. 185 00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:26,539 - Carter. - Carter! 186 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:29,208 Yeah. I sit behind you in Spanish class. 187 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,127 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 188 00:12:31,252 --> 00:12:32,253 Oh, gracias. 189 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,964 So, I'm really down with this 190 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:36,549 whole little Scout uniform you guys got going. 191 00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:37,842 All these little patches and stuff. 192 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,594 Actually, Ben and Carter have been 193 00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,972 Scouts together since, what, you were like six, right? 194 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,349 - Yeah, yeah. A long time. - That's awesome, man. 195 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,059 Ben's like my little brother. 196 00:12:47,143 --> 00:12:48,978 Yep. That's me. Little brother Ben. 197 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,396 CHLOE: Hey, Jeff! 198 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,073 All right, well. Sorry about that face again. 199 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,820 Hey, are you going to the party tonight? 200 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:58,904 What's up? 201 00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:02,825 Yo! Aber-blow-me and Bitch, man. What's up? Hey. 202 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:03,993 Always coming up with good ones. 203 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,412 Listen, I was just talking to Carver here, and... 204 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,580 Carter. 205 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,790 - I came up with a great idea. - Really? 206 00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:11,083 Hit me. What do we have? 207 00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:12,835 How'd recruiting go? 208 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,088 Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined. 209 00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,590 I think it's just a big joke at this point. 210 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:18,757 It's not a joke. 211 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,427 I think it's really cool you guys have stuck with Scouts. 212 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,721 One day you're gonna look back on this 213 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,681 and you're gonna be really happy you did it. 214 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,517 Okay. Thanks. 215 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:32,021 (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) 216 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,941 Looks like the deer made out better than your car. 217 00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:38,277 Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean? 218 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,488 Well, where is it? 219 00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,239 It's right over there. 220 00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:12,144 Holy shit! Holy shit, man! 221 00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,729 You dick. What's wrong with you? 222 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,315 Dude. Dude, okay. You're never gonna believe what happened. 223 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,998 Hey, you sure you guys don't need a ride? 224 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,194 No, we're good. 225 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,320 See you boys tonight. 226 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,239 Hey! See you tonight, man! 227 00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,491 All right? All right? 228 00:14:27,243 --> 00:14:29,578 Bye, Chloe! Bye! 229 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,186 What are you talking about, tonight? 230 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:33,999 Dude, you are never going to guess what happened. 231 00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:37,127 We got invited to the secret senior party, man. Look. 232 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,922 Who cares? Look, the deer is gone. What about the deer? 233 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,257 Dude, fuck deers, man! 234 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:44,677 We are going to the secret party, man! Come on! 235 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,845 (SING-SONG) I'm gonna fuck Chloe. 236 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,098 I'm gonna fuck Chloe. 237 00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:55,938 Ben, come on. This is the chance of a lifetime. 238 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,815 Okay. I mean, quit acting like you don't want to go. 239 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,358 BEN: Of course I want to go. I do. 240 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,861 But it's Augie's big night. He's getting his Condor Badge. 241 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,030 We can't miss the ceremony or he'd never forgive us. 242 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,199 Okay, look, hear me out. 243 00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:08,909 We go to the campout, 244 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,995 and when Augie and Rogers fall asleep, 245 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,788 we will sneak out and go to the party. 246 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:13,872 (SIGHS) Carter... 247 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:14,996 We'll be back before dawn, 248 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,834 it'll be like we never even left. 249 00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,587 I don't know. It just sounds... 250 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:20,671 Ben. 251 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,300 This could be the night of our lives. 252 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,552 Please. 253 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,512 (SIGHS) 254 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,973 All right. I mean, I guess we could try. 255 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,518 - Okay. - I love you. 256 00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:36,729 You're amazing. Thank you! 257 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,147 Whoa! What the hell? 258 00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,316 Hi, Mrs. Fielder. Hi. 259 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,404 Your garbage cans were blocking my driveway again. 260 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,740 Had to move them myself, 261 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:51,076 which is no easy task with a herniated disk. 262 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,161 Okay, great. 263 00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:56,749 You tell your father to keep his trash on his side of the property. 264 00:15:57,333 --> 00:16:00,127 Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. Fielder. Thank you. 265 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:04,089 All right, thanks. Yep. Can you just move right there? 266 00:16:04,173 --> 00:16:06,008 Thank you. Bye! 267 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:07,843 Jesus Christ. 268 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,179 You old hag! Okay. Thank you. 269 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,597 She is so annoying. 270 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:15,184 Oh, my God. Can you imagine living next to that? 271 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,395 BEN: Oh, my God. Dude, how many cats does she have? 272 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,981 Dude, who knows. She probably rubs Fancy Feast on her cooch 273 00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,441 and lets them all go to town. 274 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:23,525 - What? - (SNORTING) 275 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,071 Meet me here at 5:30 and then we'll go to Camp Womp Womp. 276 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,281 Then we'll go to the party. All right? 277 00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:30,949 - All right? All right. - All right. 278 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,117 See you soon, man. 279 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:33,202 All right. See ya. 280 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,620 (WHISTLING) 281 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,546 Oh, litterbugs. 282 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,839 Come on. 283 00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:50,969 Biotine? 284 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,723 How'd you get way out here? 285 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,060 Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers. 286 00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,311 (WHISTLING) 287 00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:00,396 (LEAVES RUSTLING) 288 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,234 Hello? 289 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,986 (FAINT GRUNTING) 290 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,074 Hello? 291 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:17,913 (SCREAMS) 292 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:21,917 (SNARLING) 293 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,216 (SCREECHING) 294 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,261 (WHIMPERING) 295 00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:38,100 What's wrong with you? 296 00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:40,060 You A-wipe! 297 00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,855 C-word! All the other words! 298 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,774 Oh, doodle! 299 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,401 That's my lucky knife! 300 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,879 Teach you to mess with Scout Leader Rogers! 301 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,380 (SCREAMING) 302 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,851 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 303 00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:22,853 BEN: So we're just gonna walk in there like this. 304 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,855 No I.D.'s, just buy some beer? 305 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,440 Just give me the $20, fool. Come on. 306 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,400 Cough it up. 307 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,444 Any day now. Come on. 308 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,279 Hang on. It's Velcro. It takes a second. 309 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,406 Watch a pro. 310 00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,621 Hi, sir. How are you today? 311 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:41,872 Hey, baby. 312 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,833 Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter. 313 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:47,753 Just give the money to a drunk bum. That'll work. 314 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,672 Yeah! 315 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,508 CARTER: Just the cheap stuff. 316 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:57,346 (SIGHS) 317 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,308 Did you see Officer Hottie? 318 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,727 No. I was too busy watching you lose 20 bucks. 319 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,354 Okay, I gave him very specific instructions. 320 00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,147 He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs, 321 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,941 and he can keep the change. 322 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,526 Jesus. 323 00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:12,778 Whoa. 324 00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:15,823 Holy shit, dude. That's her. 325 00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,533 What? Who? 326 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,535 It's Denise What's-her-face. 327 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,744 She went to our high school. 328 00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:22,228 She dropped out a couple years ago. 329 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,581 Now she's a stripper. 330 00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,791 BEN: How do you even know that? 331 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,209 CARTER: She's a legend. 332 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:31,547 What the fuck is he... Jesus Christ. 333 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:35,884 Sir! 334 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,389 I'm not paying for these items. 335 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:42,391 Sir? 336 00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:46,895 - Shit! - Oh, uh... 337 00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:51,066 It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it. 338 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,988 Fucking ghetto-ass bag. 339 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,239 Here. 340 00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,409 What are you doing? 341 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,120 It's a sheet bend knot. 342 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,288 It's impossible to break. 343 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,372 You're pretty handy. 344 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,249 Thanks. 345 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,333 Get out. 346 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:09,751 - Nice legs. - Huh? 347 00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,337 Costume party? 348 00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:13,922 Oh, no, I'm... 349 00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,757 I'm a Scout. 350 00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,259 Like an actual Scout? 351 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,822 Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight. 352 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:22,097 So you work across the street? 353 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,516 Yep. Glamorous, huh? 354 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,935 Yeah. I mean, I've never been in, 355 00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:28,770 but I hear it's nice. 356 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,939 It's got a good Yelp review. 357 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,190 (LAUGHS) 358 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,525 - What? - Nothing. 359 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:34,969 You're just... You're really cute. 360 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,112 Thanks. 361 00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,197 Come on, Carter. 362 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,700 Please tell me you did not ask that guy to buy you beer. 363 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784 No, it was his idea. 364 00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:44,119 Rookies. 365 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:45,871 Where are you... 366 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,247 CARTER: I need my $20 back. 367 00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:49,166 It's not all yours. 368 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,959 (CONTINUE ARGUING) 369 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,628 You're dirty. Look how dirty... 370 00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,384 Here. 371 00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:00,844 Thank you. 372 00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,975 Thank you. Here. 373 00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:08,810 Oh, my God. Thank you. 374 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:11,146 You're the most amazing person ever. Thank you. 375 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,481 Yeah. Thanks. 376 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,942 It's cool. And thanks for the help, Legs. 377 00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,026 Yeah. 378 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:19,071 Dude, what the fuck was that? 379 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,364 CARTER: Oh, my God. 380 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,325 I would tongue-pound her salty walrus any day of the week. 381 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,577 BEN: Oh, shit. 382 00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:27,245 - He's staring at us. - Go. 383 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,933 Dude, I thought you said that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy. 384 00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:35,671 CARTER: Dude, I thought so too. 385 00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:37,422 It's like, one moment, they're together 386 00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,925 and the next moment, they're broken up. 387 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,343 So he's a dick. 388 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:42,511 (IMITATING BIRD) 389 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,055 (CAWING) 390 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:46,640 (BELCHES) 391 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,101 CARTER: It's like no doubt... 392 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,310 Hey, guys! 393 00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,436 Hey, what's up? 394 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,855 All right. Campsite is halfway set up. 395 00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:54,940 - Nice. - Great. 396 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,441 - What's up? - What's up? 397 00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:57,651 What's up? 398 00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,528 Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy. 399 00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:00,821 Where's Scout Leader Rogers? 400 00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,280 He was supposed to be here to help me set up, 401 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:03,532 but so far he's a no-show. 402 00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:06,618 That's weird. He's never late. 403 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,787 Yeah. Maybe he quit Scouts. 404 00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:12,290 (BLOWING RASPBERRY) Quit Scouts? Yeah, right. 405 00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,875 That's hysterical! 406 00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,961 Want to know what I think it is? I think it's a test. 407 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,129 A test? 408 00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172 Well, yeah. I'm getting my Condor Badge today. 409 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,133 I have to prove that I'm ready. 410 00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,551 Yeah, and check this out. 411 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,394 I'm charting diets for the Animal Study Badge 412 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:25,721 and I walked right into that. 413 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,639 - What is this? - It's deer scat. 414 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,393 Oh, dude! What the fuck, man? 415 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,145 Carter! I needed that! 416 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:34,980 You needed that? It's shit, Augie! 417 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,648 No one needs shit! 418 00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:38,400 I need it! I've been looking all week for it. 419 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,444 Oh, God. It's gonna be a long night. 420 00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:44,239 Just feeding it through, in and out. 421 00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:45,741 Oh, yeah. 422 00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:47,576 There you go. 423 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,828 - Good job, bud. - I did it! 424 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:50,954 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 425 00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,655 (GROANS) 426 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:29,367 What the fuck, man? Was that your ass? 427 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,857 Beans? Weenies? 428 00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:02,901 Why do we always have to eat welfare food? 429 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,778 Because we're camping, Carter. What do you want? 430 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:06,905 Something artisan. Something that doesn't make me 431 00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:08,573 fart every five seconds. 432 00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:09,991 Shut up. Quit being such a bitch. 433 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:12,828 Augie? Augie? 434 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:14,830 Hey, Augie! 435 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:15,914 Use my lighter. 436 00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:18,542 I'm not gonna get my Fire Making Badge using a lighter, Carter. 437 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:19,751 - Just use it. - No! 438 00:24:19,835 --> 00:24:21,419 - Why? - AUGIE: 'Cause! 439 00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:22,504 BEN: Augie. 440 00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:26,842 Augie, just use it. You can get it next time. 441 00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:33,598 What the fuck? Why the hell can't I get service? 442 00:24:33,682 --> 00:24:34,850 Carter, we're in the woods. 443 00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,476 I always get service up here. 444 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,769 Maybe Mother Nature wants you 445 00:24:37,853 --> 00:24:40,272 to put the phone away, Carter, and be in the moment. 446 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:42,941 Oh, is that what Mother Nature wants? 447 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,693 Maybe Mother Nature wants this. 448 00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:47,404 (BOTH LAUGHING) 449 00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:50,615 Fucking bull's-eye, man! 450 00:24:50,699 --> 00:24:52,450 You're an asshead, Carter. 451 00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,828 Wait! No, no, no, no! Don't take it off. 452 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,705 Here we go. Wait. Hold still. 453 00:24:56,788 --> 00:24:59,791 Hold still. Ready? Say, "marshmallow." 454 00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,210 Carter sucks donkey balls. 455 00:25:02,294 --> 00:25:03,295 (CAMERA CLICKS) 456 00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:04,629 Wow. 457 00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:06,464 That's a thing of beauty. 458 00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:08,133 You better not post that. 459 00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,136 I'm definitely posting that. It's my masterpiece. 460 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,054 All right. BRB, guys. I got to pee. 461 00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:17,434 (OWL HOOTING) 462 00:25:17,893 --> 00:25:18,935 Barn owl? 463 00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,313 I think it's a spotted owl. 464 00:25:22,147 --> 00:25:23,732 Yeah, you're probably right. 465 00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:25,358 Hey. 466 00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:29,154 Guess what I found when I was hiking up here? 467 00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:31,114 I found the tree we carved our initials into. 468 00:25:31,198 --> 00:25:32,407 - No way! - Yeah. 469 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:33,491 - Really? - Yeah. 470 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,327 Wow. That was like seven years ago. 471 00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:37,662 I know. Crazy, right? 472 00:25:37,746 --> 00:25:39,539 Oh. That was the same day Carter sat on the cactus 473 00:25:39,623 --> 00:25:41,499 when he was taking a shit, right? 474 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:42,876 (BOTH LAUGHING) 475 00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,041 And your dad had to pick out the needles. (CHUCKLES) 476 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:47,672 Yeah. 477 00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:58,767 Augie, I know we don't talk about your dad much, 478 00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:02,520 but it's okay if you want to. 479 00:26:04,522 --> 00:26:06,691 I just don't want to be a downer, you know. 480 00:26:06,775 --> 00:26:08,276 Come on, Augie, you're not being a downer. 481 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,527 He was your dad. 482 00:26:09,945 --> 00:26:11,613 You can talk about him. 483 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:14,616 Thanks, Ben. 484 00:26:15,116 --> 00:26:16,952 Yeah. Of course. 485 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,288 Hey. 486 00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:22,999 Scouts forever? 487 00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,628 Yeah. Scouts forever. 488 00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:42,894 (WHISPERING) Ben. Hey. 489 00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:44,229 Come on, Ben. Let's go. 490 00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:45,730 Carter, I don't know about this. 491 00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:47,190 Will you stop crying about this? 492 00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:49,234 Let's go. Come on, we're doing this. 493 00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:51,569 Let's go. Come on. 494 00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:52,696 Come on. 495 00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,160 (SNORING) 496 00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:03,540 (FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 497 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:08,336 (ALL CHEERING) 498 00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:36,364 (GARGLING) 499 00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:42,954 Are we interrupting? 500 00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:44,998 (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 501 00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:47,459 You look amazing. 502 00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:48,543 Thank you. 503 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:49,878 Hey, have you guys seen my brother? 504 00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:51,463 He should have been here by now. 505 00:27:52,047 --> 00:27:54,299 No. I haven't seen him anywhere, no. 506 00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:56,676 But look, I'm sure he'll be here any second. Okay? 507 00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:02,057 Dude. What if Augie wakes up and we're not there? 508 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:03,308 He's not gonna wake up. 509 00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:05,560 If Chewbacca was fucking Bigfoot in our campsite, 510 00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:07,395 he'd still be asleep. 511 00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:08,605 Whoa. 512 00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:10,732 - What is that? - What? 513 00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:14,235 Look. Look, he was here. 514 00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:16,529 Okay. So, he decided to go back home. 515 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:17,614 He changed his mind. 516 00:28:17,697 --> 00:28:20,575 No, no, no. Scout Leader Rogers would never leave his lucky knife. 517 00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:21,910 I think something's wrong. 518 00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:24,621 Dude, what's wrong is us sitting here talking about this. 519 00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:25,955 Give me that. 520 00:28:26,664 --> 00:28:28,166 Dude, look. Look at his prints. 521 00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:30,585 His foot was dragging like he had a limp or something. 522 00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:33,254 (SIGHS) Okay. Hurray for your mad tracking skills. 523 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:35,507 Can we just... Can we go? Please? 524 00:28:44,307 --> 00:28:45,308 What? 525 00:28:45,392 --> 00:28:46,768 I just think something really bad happened to him. 526 00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:49,104 - Are we still talking about Rogers? - Yeah. 527 00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:51,439 Dude, he is sitting at home dressed up like Dolly Parton 528 00:28:51,523 --> 00:28:53,191 singing show tunes. Relax. 529 00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:56,069 (ENGINE STARTS) 530 00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,947 Oh, shit. 531 00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:03,118 Augie, wait! Augie! 532 00:29:03,201 --> 00:29:04,369 Augie! 533 00:29:06,287 --> 00:29:07,527 I thought we were best friends. 534 00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:08,665 We are best friends. 535 00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:10,625 - We were coming back. - Really? 536 00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:12,168 After your party? 537 00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,879 You know about that? 538 00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,339 Everybody knows about the senior party, Carter. 539 00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:17,715 Even a loser like me. 540 00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:18,842 Augie, don't say that. 541 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,218 Why not? It's what you guys think! 542 00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:21,886 We don't think you're a loser. 543 00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:23,721 Ben, just tell him. 544 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:24,806 Carter, no. 545 00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,474 Yeah, tell me, Ben. 546 00:29:26,891 --> 00:29:28,726 Come on! Say it! 547 00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:30,290 CARTER: We're quitting Scouts, Augie. 548 00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:36,025 Look, it was fun when we were kids. 549 00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:41,364 But we have to grow up, man. 550 00:29:42,657 --> 00:29:45,243 Augie. We're still gonna be best friends. 551 00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:49,330 Go to your party. 552 00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:52,500 Augie. 553 00:29:53,001 --> 00:29:54,127 Augie, wait! 554 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:56,671 Augie, come on! 555 00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:01,843 Just leave him, Ben. 556 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,775 CARTER: What the fuck... What's wrong with the radio? 557 00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,110 Carter, are you seeing this? 558 00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:20,278 Seeing what? 559 00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:22,697 Look. The town's deserted. 560 00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:25,867 Everyone's probably asleep. 561 00:30:25,950 --> 00:30:27,368 On a Friday night? 562 00:30:28,286 --> 00:30:31,456 I don't know. Something just feels really weird. 563 00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:32,957 Oh, hey. Pull over right here. 564 00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:40,882 I can't wait to get out of these stupid uniforms. 565 00:30:41,466 --> 00:30:42,884 All right. Let's see here. 566 00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:46,471 We're just gonna change right here? 567 00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:47,889 Nobody's around. 568 00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:52,143 Let's see. Jeans. T-shirt. 569 00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:55,230 Condoms. Good to go. Uh... 570 00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:58,316 Forget socks? Yes, I did. 571 00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:01,903 (GLASS CLINKING) 572 00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:06,824 - CARTER: Holy shitballs! - What? 573 00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:08,076 Dude, look. 574 00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:09,244 BEN: What? 575 00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:10,703 CARTER: The bouncer, he's gone! 576 00:31:11,412 --> 00:31:12,830 Carter, someone smashed the door. 577 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:14,165 We should sneak in. 578 00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:16,084 - That's illegal. - Let's sneak in. Come on. Let's do it. 579 00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:17,327 Carter, we can't go in there! 580 00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:18,419 Come on! 581 00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,671 BEN: We can't go in there. We're minors. 582 00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:21,005 CARTER: It's the chance of a lifetime. Who cares? 583 00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:22,131 BEN: What are you doing? 584 00:31:22,215 --> 00:31:23,675 CARTER: It's gonna be awesome! 585 00:31:23,758 --> 00:31:25,927 Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. 586 00:31:27,345 --> 00:31:30,348 Okay, it's clear. Come on. Let's do it. 587 00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:31,766 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 588 00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,936 Sweet Jesus. 589 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:37,438 This is it, Ben. 590 00:31:37,522 --> 00:31:38,898 We've made it. 591 00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:40,858 We're at the epicenter of pussy. 592 00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:44,195 Oh, shit. I got to go to the ATM, get some cash. 593 00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:45,947 You find us a spot. 594 00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:50,201 Yeah. That shouldn't be too hard since there's, like, nobody here. 595 00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,254 - Hey! - (HOARSE BREATHING) 596 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:28,383 My friend brought me here. He's getting money. 597 00:33:30,218 --> 00:33:32,804 I have a girlfriend, sort of. 598 00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:33,888 (SNARLING) 599 00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:36,057 Don't worry, Mommy, Daddy's here! 600 00:33:37,975 --> 00:33:40,311 Dude, this is fucking awesome! 601 00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:41,646 Dude, something's wrong with her. 602 00:33:41,729 --> 00:33:44,190 Look at her chest. What's all over her? 603 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:47,235 No, no. That's makeup, dummy. It's a jungle theme. 604 00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:49,946 Oh, wow. 605 00:33:50,071 --> 00:33:51,823 This is so hot. 606 00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:54,909 Oh, my God. 607 00:33:55,576 --> 00:33:56,661 Oh, my God. 608 00:33:59,414 --> 00:34:01,165 Oh, my God! 609 00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:03,251 (GROWLING) 610 00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:05,420 (SCREAMING) 611 00:34:06,838 --> 00:34:08,339 Run! Quick, run! 612 00:34:09,674 --> 00:34:11,759 Door, door, door, door! 613 00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,010 (BANGING) 614 00:34:13,928 --> 00:34:15,346 (BOTH SCREAMING) 615 00:34:30,862 --> 00:34:31,863 (PANTING) 616 00:35:14,322 --> 00:35:15,740 (SNARLING) 617 00:35:22,663 --> 00:35:23,956 (YELLING) 618 00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:28,669 Ugh! 619 00:35:52,944 --> 00:35:54,862 Get up! Get up! Get up! 620 00:35:59,033 --> 00:36:01,285 - Carter! - Ben? Ben. 621 00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:03,871 What the fuck is going on? 622 00:36:03,955 --> 00:36:05,122 I don't know! They're trying to kill us! 623 00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:07,375 - I just wanted to see some titties! - BEN: I know! 624 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,794 Wait. You're the stripper. 625 00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:12,088 Cocktail waitress. 626 00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:13,214 (DOORBELL RINGING) 627 00:36:28,729 --> 00:36:30,565 Scout Leader Rogers? 628 00:36:37,572 --> 00:36:39,740 Scout Leader Rogers, are you home? 629 00:36:42,785 --> 00:36:43,786 (IMITATES BIRD) 630 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:51,335 Hello? 631 00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:13,357 Holy cow. 632 00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:16,777 (CARTER SCREAMING) 633 00:37:18,321 --> 00:37:19,780 Calm the fuck down! 634 00:37:19,864 --> 00:37:22,064 Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost got killed in there! 635 00:37:22,116 --> 00:37:23,367 - Is that your ride? - Can you please just tell us 636 00:37:23,451 --> 00:37:24,535 what the hell is going on? 637 00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:25,953 I really need to wash up my face right now! 638 00:37:26,037 --> 00:37:27,079 Keys, now! 639 00:37:27,163 --> 00:37:28,205 No! Not until you tell us what's happening. 640 00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:29,457 Anybody got a wet nap? 641 00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:30,708 What the fuck do you think is happening? 642 00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:31,876 Everyone's eating each other! 643 00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:33,753 - Wait, like a... - Yes, like that! 644 00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:34,837 That's not possible. 645 00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:35,922 I think it's possible, Ben. 646 00:37:36,005 --> 00:37:38,716 A dead stripper just tried to eat my face! 647 00:37:38,841 --> 00:37:40,009 - (GROWLING) - Oh, shit! 648 00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:42,053 Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. 649 00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:43,888 Just shoot it! Shoot it! 650 00:37:51,896 --> 00:37:53,230 Yep. Zombie. 651 00:37:57,985 --> 00:37:59,654 Any more questions? 652 00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:01,614 (CLAMORING) 653 00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:10,998 Drive, dude, go! Come on! 654 00:38:11,123 --> 00:38:12,458 (ENGINE REVVING) 655 00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:15,586 Where are you going? What the fuck? 656 00:38:22,343 --> 00:38:23,344 Oh, shit! 657 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,515 Carter, get the tire! 658 00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:33,896 CARTER: I got it. 659 00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,482 Guys, hurry up! They're getting pretty fucking close! 660 00:38:37,984 --> 00:38:40,152 - Come on! - I'm going as fast as I can. 661 00:38:40,236 --> 00:38:41,445 Find the fucking lug nuts. 662 00:38:44,031 --> 00:38:45,032 Fuck. 663 00:38:47,702 --> 00:38:49,453 Seriously, hurry the fuck up! 664 00:38:49,537 --> 00:38:51,205 I got them! Here. Here. 665 00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,040 Put it on! 666 00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:55,042 Okay. Good. Put it on! Put it on! 667 00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:56,293 Fuck! 668 00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:03,551 BEN: I got it! 669 00:39:06,137 --> 00:39:07,638 (LOUD GROWLING) 670 00:39:07,722 --> 00:39:08,806 CARTER: Oh, shit! 671 00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:10,891 You got to be fucking kidding me. 672 00:39:16,731 --> 00:39:17,857 Go! Go! Go! 673 00:39:38,002 --> 00:39:39,837 (STOMACH GURGLING) 674 00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,923 (CONTINUES) 675 00:39:47,386 --> 00:39:48,929 (FARTING) 676 00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:50,598 (EXHALES) 677 00:39:59,982 --> 00:40:00,983 (WHISTLING) 678 00:40:28,636 --> 00:40:29,637 (SPRAYING) 679 00:40:42,024 --> 00:40:43,025 (FLUSHING) 680 00:40:53,744 --> 00:40:55,704 Scout Leader Rogers! What happened tonight? 681 00:40:55,788 --> 00:40:57,498 - We were worried about you. - (SNIFFING) 682 00:40:58,916 --> 00:41:02,920 I know. It's bad. I'm so sorry. I had to use your bathroom. 683 00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:04,588 I think it was the beans. 684 00:41:05,506 --> 00:41:07,341 And the marshmallows. 685 00:41:07,424 --> 00:41:08,592 (ROGERS GROANING) 686 00:41:08,676 --> 00:41:11,512 I tried spraying. It just lingers. 687 00:41:18,769 --> 00:41:20,312 (STAMMERING) 688 00:41:21,272 --> 00:41:22,314 - Your neck! - (GROWLING) 689 00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:23,649 (SCREAMS) 690 00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,527 Scout Leader Rogers! Please! 691 00:41:30,739 --> 00:41:33,059 I think you're having a bad allergic reaction to something! 692 00:41:33,117 --> 00:41:35,327 We need to get you to a doctor! 693 00:41:35,703 --> 00:41:36,863 - (GROWLS) - (AUGIE SCREAMING) 694 00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:40,207 (UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 695 00:41:50,134 --> 00:41:51,177 (YELPS) 696 00:42:09,111 --> 00:42:10,905 (WHIMPERING) 697 00:42:27,338 --> 00:42:28,339 (YELLING) 698 00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:41,769 (SCREAMING) 699 00:43:11,632 --> 00:43:13,676 (READING) "All evacuation buses have departed. 700 00:43:13,759 --> 00:43:15,094 "Proceed north on Route 1 701 00:43:15,177 --> 00:43:17,554 "to the security checkpoint at mile marker 17." 702 00:43:17,638 --> 00:43:19,974 Oh, shit. They evacuated the town. 703 00:43:20,057 --> 00:43:21,058 CARTER: That's great. 704 00:43:21,141 --> 00:43:22,701 I missed the party, and I missed Chloe, 705 00:43:22,768 --> 00:43:24,895 - and now I'm gonna die. - Guys. 706 00:43:24,979 --> 00:43:26,063 Carter, calm down! We need to figure out 707 00:43:26,146 --> 00:43:27,690 - what we're gonna do. - Guys! 708 00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:35,072 DENISE: Come on. 709 00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:39,827 Go, go, go! 710 00:43:39,910 --> 00:43:41,578 - Carter, lock it! - I'm trying to fuckin' lock it, man! 711 00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:42,663 It's not working. 712 00:43:45,499 --> 00:43:47,418 BEN: Come on! CARTER: I'm trying! 713 00:43:47,501 --> 00:43:48,669 Move! 714 00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:51,755 Come on! 715 00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:55,592 (GUNSHOT) 716 00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:09,106 Carter, get the ax! 717 00:44:22,077 --> 00:44:23,370 (GLASS SMASHING) 718 00:44:27,624 --> 00:44:29,144 - BEN: Go, go, go. - (CARTER SCREAMING) 719 00:44:33,213 --> 00:44:34,882 They're coming! 720 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:51,398 This way! 721 00:44:52,649 --> 00:44:53,817 Fuck! 722 00:45:07,247 --> 00:45:09,750 This is fucking awesome! Now what? 723 00:45:14,671 --> 00:45:18,008 I'm really sorry I set you on fire, Scout Leader Rogers. 724 00:45:18,092 --> 00:45:19,812 But hopefully, it's not as bad as it looks. 725 00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:21,303 (SNARLING) 726 00:45:22,763 --> 00:45:24,431 I used a double overhand stopper knot. 727 00:45:25,641 --> 00:45:27,601 It's hard to get out of, right? 728 00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:29,144 Oh! 729 00:45:29,937 --> 00:45:31,688 Okay. All right. 730 00:45:35,943 --> 00:45:38,946 Okay, now. I'll be right back. 731 00:45:39,613 --> 00:45:41,031 Just stay there. 732 00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:52,960 (CRASHING) 733 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,421 (ROGERS WHIMPERING) 734 00:46:10,269 --> 00:46:11,728 Dude, what the fuck? 735 00:46:12,312 --> 00:46:14,064 Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus. 736 00:46:15,107 --> 00:46:16,567 Carter, stop agitating them. 737 00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:18,110 What? I need a new profile pic. 738 00:46:21,947 --> 00:46:24,533 So, do you think they evacuated everyone at the party? 739 00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:26,034 Yeah, of course. They had to. 740 00:46:27,244 --> 00:46:29,121 At least we know our parents are okay. 741 00:46:29,204 --> 00:46:30,873 - Yeah. - Where are they? 742 00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:33,625 They went to some lame spiritual yoga retreat. 743 00:46:33,709 --> 00:46:35,544 Ugh. I think I'd rather be in here. 744 00:46:38,714 --> 00:46:39,715 (SIGHS) 745 00:46:41,425 --> 00:46:42,968 I hope Augie's okay. 746 00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:45,304 - DENISE: Who's Augie? - He's our best friend. 747 00:46:45,387 --> 00:46:47,055 Well, ex-best friend now. 748 00:46:47,473 --> 00:46:48,515 Why ex? 749 00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:50,225 Because we ditched him for a party. 750 00:46:50,309 --> 00:46:51,810 Ben, we were gonna go back. 751 00:46:51,894 --> 00:46:53,937 Whatever, Carter. We ditched him. We're bad friends. 752 00:46:54,021 --> 00:46:56,190 Why didn't you guys just take him with you? 753 00:46:57,983 --> 00:46:59,735 You don't know Augie. 754 00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:01,570 - What? - He's just different. 755 00:47:01,653 --> 00:47:02,738 Big geek? 756 00:47:02,821 --> 00:47:04,907 He collects deer shit and weaves baskets. 757 00:47:04,990 --> 00:47:06,283 Okay? You do the math. 758 00:47:07,159 --> 00:47:08,243 Okay. 759 00:47:08,327 --> 00:47:09,453 Word of advice, 760 00:47:09,536 --> 00:47:11,497 chasing parties and popularity in high school? 761 00:47:11,580 --> 00:47:12,789 It's a total dead end. 762 00:47:12,873 --> 00:47:14,333 None of that shit will matter later. 763 00:47:14,416 --> 00:47:16,084 Trust me. I know. 764 00:47:16,168 --> 00:47:18,253 You're right, but didn't you, like, drop out of high school? 765 00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:20,088 - No, I got my GED. - Why? 766 00:47:20,214 --> 00:47:22,424 'Cause not everybody has a lily-white life like you do. 767 00:47:22,508 --> 00:47:24,301 Okay. God, you're so hostile. 768 00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:27,012 No, hostile is three seconds from now when my foot's up your ass. 769 00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:28,514 Okay, yeah. Try all you want, 770 00:47:28,597 --> 00:47:29,890 but I happen to have a very tight asshole. 771 00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:31,533 I think I could stretch it out for you. 772 00:47:31,558 --> 00:47:33,018 Oh, well, then lube me up, baby. 773 00:47:33,101 --> 00:47:35,771 Carter! We're gonna play the quiet game now, okay? 774 00:47:37,064 --> 00:47:38,941 All right, you know what? Fine. 775 00:47:39,608 --> 00:47:41,276 I'm over both of you. 776 00:47:50,577 --> 00:47:52,412 You're pretty good at that. 777 00:47:52,496 --> 00:47:54,998 Yeah, I guess that Whittling Badge finally paid off. 778 00:47:55,165 --> 00:47:56,375 (CHUCKLES) 779 00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:00,379 What about you? 780 00:48:00,462 --> 00:48:01,672 What about me? 781 00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:04,091 How'd you learn to use a shotgun like that? 782 00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:08,345 My ex-boyfriend was really into guns. 783 00:48:08,428 --> 00:48:11,265 He used to drag me to the firing range once a week. 784 00:48:11,348 --> 00:48:12,349 Oh. 785 00:48:12,766 --> 00:48:15,435 So, no boyfriend now? 786 00:48:15,519 --> 00:48:16,853 Not if I can help it. 787 00:48:17,813 --> 00:48:19,356 Well, why do you say that? 788 00:48:19,439 --> 00:48:20,983 I don't know. 789 00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,610 Let's just say, I have really shitty taste in guys. 790 00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:26,029 I'm better off alone. 791 00:48:26,113 --> 00:48:27,990 Nobody's better off alone. 792 00:48:28,073 --> 00:48:29,449 Yeah, well, I am. 793 00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,828 CARTER: Aww, what a beautiful moment. 794 00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:35,414 Ow! Asshole, that hurt! 795 00:48:35,497 --> 00:48:37,374 - Yeah, that was the point! - Oh, was that the point? 796 00:48:37,457 --> 00:48:38,667 - Guys! Shh! - (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 797 00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:40,252 Do you hear that? 798 00:48:40,335 --> 00:48:41,545 Is that Crank That? 799 00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:45,048 BEN: They're leaving. 800 00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:46,383 I love this song! 801 00:48:46,466 --> 00:48:47,509 You would. 802 00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,720 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS) 803 00:48:58,645 --> 00:48:59,855 Look! Right there. 804 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:00,939 Fuck. But they're gonna come back. 805 00:49:01,023 --> 00:49:02,065 What are we gonna do? 806 00:49:02,149 --> 00:49:03,525 - Condoms! - What? 807 00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:06,194 Carter, give me your condoms! Hurry! 808 00:49:08,238 --> 00:49:10,324 Here. Take them and open them and tie them together. 809 00:49:10,407 --> 00:49:11,408 DENISE: Why are we doing this? 810 00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:12,618 - Just do it! - Okay, okay. 811 00:49:12,701 --> 00:49:13,869 CARTER: Here's one. 812 00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,329 Come on, hurry! 813 00:49:25,088 --> 00:49:26,798 (CAR ALARM BLARING) 814 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,467 (SNARLING) 815 00:49:40,270 --> 00:49:42,522 Here we go. Fly fishing. It's genius. 816 00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:46,777 Go on, just a little bit. Get it right up there. 817 00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:48,862 There you go. Come on. 818 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:49,988 It's right up there! 819 00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:53,575 You got it, come on. 820 00:49:55,869 --> 00:49:58,038 CARTER: Good work. Yes! Yes! 821 00:49:58,914 --> 00:49:59,915 No, no, no! 822 00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:02,918 Jesus! 823 00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:04,001 You got arrested? 824 00:50:04,044 --> 00:50:05,170 BEN: No, we locked ourselves in. 825 00:50:05,253 --> 00:50:06,505 - How? - It was an accident! 826 00:50:06,588 --> 00:50:07,964 This has to be Augie. 827 00:50:08,048 --> 00:50:09,091 Augie, get the keys. 828 00:50:09,216 --> 00:50:11,016 You kicked them into the drainpipe over there. 829 00:50:12,219 --> 00:50:13,637 - I can't reach it! - BEN: Shit! 830 00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:14,846 Shit, they're coming back. 831 00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,056 Hold on. 832 00:50:17,182 --> 00:50:19,184 What, is there a Lockpicking Badge I'm unaware of? 833 00:50:19,893 --> 00:50:20,894 How'd you find us? 834 00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:22,299 Followed the stench of betrayal. 835 00:50:22,354 --> 00:50:23,355 Augie... 836 00:50:23,438 --> 00:50:25,691 I saw your car. I figured I'd help. 837 00:50:25,774 --> 00:50:27,442 - Augie, look, I'm really... - Got it! 838 00:50:36,118 --> 00:50:38,453 Go, go, go! 839 00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:44,918 Close the gate! 840 00:50:53,135 --> 00:50:54,803 Oh... 841 00:50:56,805 --> 00:50:58,473 ...my... 842 00:51:00,308 --> 00:51:02,978 ...God. 843 00:51:03,437 --> 00:51:04,438 Carter, let's go! 844 00:51:06,606 --> 00:51:08,442 - Come on! - CARTER: Okay! 845 00:51:09,818 --> 00:51:12,237 Oh, God. I touched them! I touched them! 846 00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:13,822 I don't think they were real. 847 00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:20,579 DENISE: Fuck, my feet are killing me. 848 00:51:20,662 --> 00:51:23,081 The security checkpoint's only a few miles away. 849 00:51:23,165 --> 00:51:25,709 Dude, I'm starving. 850 00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:29,379 How can you even think of food when people are being eaten alive? 851 00:51:29,463 --> 00:51:32,215 You know, they say that humans taste like pork. 852 00:51:32,299 --> 00:51:33,717 "They"? 853 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:34,800 Cannibals, I guess. 854 00:51:34,843 --> 00:51:36,261 Dude, I love bacon. 855 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:37,596 BEN: Hey, look. 856 00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:39,473 Maybe the keys are inside. 857 00:51:44,770 --> 00:51:45,771 (GROWLING) 858 00:51:46,646 --> 00:51:47,814 Jesus! This guy again? 859 00:51:47,898 --> 00:51:49,441 CARTER: Someone kill him! 860 00:51:49,524 --> 00:51:52,068 Carter, we can't just keep going around killing people. 861 00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:53,236 Why not? 862 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:54,400 Because he's a human being! 863 00:51:54,446 --> 00:51:55,566 Okay. We'll see how you feel 864 00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:57,575 when he's eating your nutsack like a street taco. 865 00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:01,203 Um, guys, he's getting pretty close. 866 00:52:01,286 --> 00:52:02,746 Remember our Wilderness Safety Seminar? 867 00:52:02,829 --> 00:52:03,829 What? 868 00:52:03,872 --> 00:52:06,082 When encountering a hostile creature, be sure to assert yourself 869 00:52:06,166 --> 00:52:07,751 in order to keep the animal at bay. 870 00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,127 Well, I... 871 00:52:09,461 --> 00:52:10,462 (GROWLS) 872 00:52:10,545 --> 00:52:12,881 That is a zombie, not a bear, dumbass. 873 00:52:13,048 --> 00:52:14,049 (ROARING) 874 00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:19,137 (GROWLS SOFTLY) 875 00:52:19,888 --> 00:52:20,889 (MIMICS GROWL) 876 00:52:22,390 --> 00:52:23,850 (ROARS SOFTLY) 877 00:52:24,935 --> 00:52:25,977 (MIMICS) 878 00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:27,938 Guys, I think he's mimicking me. 879 00:52:28,021 --> 00:52:29,356 Augie, quit messing around. 880 00:52:34,402 --> 00:52:35,487 (SOFTLY) Augie. 881 00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:43,411 (SINGING) 882 00:52:49,042 --> 00:52:50,043 What? 883 00:52:52,629 --> 00:52:53,922 Augie, what are you doing? 884 00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:05,767 (SINGING) 885 00:53:05,851 --> 00:53:07,060 What are you doing? 886 00:53:15,819 --> 00:53:16,820 (ALL SINGING) 887 00:53:22,033 --> 00:53:23,493 Okay. Did I just drop acid, 888 00:53:23,577 --> 00:53:26,079 or are they really singing Britney Spears with a zombie? 889 00:53:32,127 --> 00:53:33,128 (GUN FIRING) 890 00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:34,254 (ALL GASPING) 891 00:53:44,681 --> 00:53:45,932 Is that all of you? 892 00:53:46,016 --> 00:53:47,517 Yeah. What the hell's happening? 893 00:53:47,601 --> 00:53:50,020 Don't know yet. Some kind of viral outbreak. 894 00:53:50,103 --> 00:53:52,439 CDC ordered a military containment perimeter. 895 00:53:52,522 --> 00:53:53,648 Is most of the town evacuated? 896 00:53:53,732 --> 00:53:55,025 REEVES: As many as we could. 897 00:53:55,108 --> 00:53:57,777 This thing hit so hard and fast, we're still trying to contain it. 898 00:53:57,903 --> 00:54:00,023 What about everyone at the party? Were they evacuated? 899 00:54:00,614 --> 00:54:01,781 What party? 900 00:54:10,540 --> 00:54:12,959 (FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 901 00:54:43,823 --> 00:54:46,076 Well, where is everybody? 902 00:54:46,159 --> 00:54:48,828 Nobody's here. It must be a mistake. 903 00:54:49,663 --> 00:54:52,082 Yeah, 1146 Dunton Avenue. This is it. 904 00:54:52,165 --> 00:54:55,251 It's not a mistake, Carter. Jeff sent you a fake address. 905 00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:56,503 What? 906 00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:58,171 BEN: Carter, this is a waste plant. 907 00:54:58,254 --> 00:55:00,256 You get it? It's full of shit. 908 00:55:01,758 --> 00:55:03,969 Motherfucker! God damn it! 909 00:55:04,302 --> 00:55:06,721 I can't believe he sent us a fucking fake address! 910 00:55:06,805 --> 00:55:07,889 BEN: Why does it surprise you? 911 00:55:07,973 --> 00:55:10,734 I mean, did you actually think he was gonna invite us to a real party? 912 00:55:11,518 --> 00:55:12,686 Karma. 913 00:55:13,186 --> 00:55:14,270 What? 914 00:55:14,354 --> 00:55:16,022 - Nothing. - No, speak up. 915 00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:17,732 Well, I just think it's a little ironic 916 00:55:17,816 --> 00:55:20,694 that, you know, you're all upset now because you got ditched. 917 00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:23,446 Oh, okay. So you're saying that we deserve it. 918 00:55:23,530 --> 00:55:25,156 We went to your stupid campout, dude. 919 00:55:25,240 --> 00:55:26,783 You lied to me. 920 00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:28,786 We've been lying to you for the past three years! 921 00:55:28,827 --> 00:55:30,328 - Carter! - Going to every Scout meeting, 922 00:55:30,412 --> 00:55:31,621 every lame field trip. 923 00:55:31,705 --> 00:55:32,956 Wearing these stupid fucking clothes 924 00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:34,124 so everybody can make fun of us. 925 00:55:34,207 --> 00:55:35,208 Carter, that's enough! 926 00:55:35,333 --> 00:55:37,013 Ben, you're not hiding behind me this time. 927 00:55:37,085 --> 00:55:38,128 Tell him. 928 00:55:38,211 --> 00:55:39,337 Talk about how many times 929 00:55:39,421 --> 00:55:41,423 you said you hated Scouts, how sick of it you were. 930 00:55:41,506 --> 00:55:43,299 - I never said that. - Bullshit! 931 00:55:43,383 --> 00:55:44,467 No, no, no. It's fine. 932 00:55:44,551 --> 00:55:46,511 I guess it's time for it to all come out, right? 933 00:55:47,178 --> 00:55:49,389 He's had a crush on Kendall since sixth grade. 934 00:55:49,514 --> 00:55:50,890 - That is not true! - AUGIE: Yes, it is. 935 00:55:51,016 --> 00:55:53,059 - Kendall? As in my sister Kendall? - Mmm-hmm. 936 00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:54,602 - No. - Dude, that's like incest. 937 00:55:54,686 --> 00:55:55,854 No, it's not, I'm not even related to her. 938 00:55:55,937 --> 00:55:56,980 So you do like her, then. 939 00:55:57,063 --> 00:55:58,523 - No, I don't like her! - Told you. 940 00:55:58,606 --> 00:55:59,733 Shut up! 941 00:56:00,108 --> 00:56:01,109 Stop! 942 00:56:01,860 --> 00:56:04,320 Again with this shit? Jesus. 943 00:56:04,404 --> 00:56:05,905 Can't you just walkie someone? 944 00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:09,409 Hey, are you okay? 945 00:56:09,576 --> 00:56:10,577 (ROARING) 946 00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:13,121 Guys! (SCREAMING) 947 00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:14,914 Shit! 948 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,168 Get him! 949 00:56:21,588 --> 00:56:26,092 I'm so fucking sick of zombies! 950 00:56:27,761 --> 00:56:28,845 AUGIE: Yikes. 951 00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:29,929 Wa-wa-wee-wa. 952 00:56:30,013 --> 00:56:31,014 (RADIO STATIC) 953 00:56:35,060 --> 00:56:36,144 Shit! 954 00:56:40,565 --> 00:56:41,983 Hello! Is anybody there? 955 00:56:42,067 --> 00:56:43,443 MAN: Evac complete. 956 00:56:43,777 --> 00:56:44,903 No, no, no, no. We're still here! 957 00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:46,279 MAN: We have Operation Clean Up. 958 00:56:46,946 --> 00:56:50,283 Commence aerial bombing of site at 0300. Repeat, 0300. Over. 959 00:56:50,366 --> 00:56:51,576 What? 960 00:56:51,659 --> 00:56:53,912 No, somebody help! Hello! Hello! 961 00:56:53,995 --> 00:56:56,206 Somebody help, please! Hello! 962 00:56:56,289 --> 00:56:57,373 Fuck! 963 00:56:57,457 --> 00:56:59,209 They're gonna bomb the town in two hours? 964 00:56:59,292 --> 00:57:00,335 What are we gonna do? 965 00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:01,544 We have to find Kendall and the others! 966 00:57:01,628 --> 00:57:03,171 It's a secret party. They could be anywhere. 967 00:57:03,338 --> 00:57:04,339 Shit. 968 00:57:05,090 --> 00:57:06,257 My sister's diary! 969 00:57:06,633 --> 00:57:09,385 She writes every last boring detail of her life in there. 970 00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:12,388 I guarantee she wrote down where the party is. 971 00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:13,973 We better get fucking going, then. 972 00:57:39,833 --> 00:57:40,834 Okay, now. 973 00:57:56,224 --> 00:57:57,350 (GROWLING) 974 00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:58,601 (CATS SNARLING) 975 00:58:14,325 --> 00:58:15,702 (SOFTLY) All right, come on. 976 00:58:26,212 --> 00:58:28,798 Whew! It smells like Pixy Stix and hope in here. 977 00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,551 You've never been in a girl's room before, have you? 978 00:58:31,676 --> 00:58:33,761 - Yeah, I... - Mom doesn't count. 979 00:58:33,845 --> 00:58:35,138 - Well... - Any female relative doesn't count. 980 00:58:35,221 --> 00:58:37,682 Guys! Can we focus? Where's the diary? 981 00:58:38,141 --> 00:58:40,059 She changes the hiding place, like, every week, 982 00:58:40,185 --> 00:58:41,728 so just spread out and start looking. 983 00:58:59,329 --> 00:59:00,830 - CARTER: Did you find it? - Nope. 984 00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:03,082 Nothing over here. 985 00:59:13,635 --> 00:59:15,678 (SCUFFLING IN DISTANCE) 986 00:59:16,846 --> 00:59:17,847 Hey. 987 00:59:18,264 --> 00:59:19,349 Did you guys hear that? 988 00:59:19,432 --> 00:59:20,433 Hear what? 989 00:59:21,893 --> 00:59:23,895 BEN: I think I heard something downstairs. 990 00:59:24,938 --> 00:59:26,272 Augie, go check it out. 991 00:59:26,356 --> 00:59:27,857 I'm not going down there by myself. 992 00:59:27,941 --> 00:59:29,400 - Go with him. - Why me? 993 00:59:29,484 --> 00:59:31,402 Call me when your balls drop, dude. 994 00:59:35,907 --> 00:59:36,908 (STAIRS CREAKING) 995 00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:39,202 CARTER: (WHISPERING) Shh! Don't walk so hard. 996 00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:41,454 AUGIE: You have squeaky floors. 997 00:59:43,539 --> 00:59:45,291 This is Carter's sister? 998 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,294 Yeah. That's Kendall. 999 00:59:49,295 --> 00:59:51,297 Well, she clearly won the genetic lottery. 1000 00:59:51,631 --> 00:59:54,342 Yeah. She's okay. I guess. 1001 00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:55,718 Dude, she's more than okay. 1002 00:59:55,802 --> 00:59:57,470 You don't have to be all cool about it. 1003 00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:00,431 Shit. 1004 01:00:02,475 --> 01:00:04,143 Fuck. Come on. 1005 01:00:05,895 --> 01:00:07,897 So, how come you haven't told her you like her? 1006 01:00:07,981 --> 01:00:09,315 What's the point? 1007 01:00:09,399 --> 01:00:11,401 She's never gonna go for a guy like me. 1008 01:00:11,484 --> 01:00:13,069 And she's got a boyfriend. 1009 01:00:13,152 --> 01:00:15,905 And Carter would kill me if I touched his sister. 1010 01:00:15,989 --> 01:00:18,199 Okay, look. Here's the deal. 1011 01:00:18,283 --> 01:00:21,077 And don't take this the wrong way, 1012 01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,371 but you have to man up. 1013 01:00:23,454 --> 01:00:25,331 Yeah, but I suck at being that guy. 1014 01:00:25,415 --> 01:00:27,041 I'm not assertive like that. 1015 01:00:27,125 --> 01:00:28,126 Kiss me. 1016 01:00:28,584 --> 01:00:29,585 What? 1017 01:00:29,669 --> 01:00:31,149 Don't "what" me, just do it. Kiss me. 1018 01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:33,172 Are you serious? 1019 01:00:33,256 --> 01:00:34,841 Yeah, I'm serious. I saw you checking out my ass earlier. 1020 01:00:34,966 --> 01:00:36,175 I know you want to do it. Just kiss me. 1021 01:00:36,301 --> 01:00:37,343 - No, I wasn't. - Ben! 1022 01:00:37,468 --> 01:00:39,262 - Okay, for a second I did. - Kiss me. 1023 01:00:40,346 --> 01:00:41,431 Denise, I... 1024 01:00:41,514 --> 01:00:43,016 You can do it. Just go for it. 1025 01:00:45,852 --> 01:00:47,103 - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - Oh, fuck! Fuck. 1026 01:00:47,186 --> 01:00:48,786 - I'm so sorry. Are you okay? - I'm fine. 1027 01:00:48,855 --> 01:00:49,856 See? I told you we shouldn't have done that. 1028 01:00:49,939 --> 01:00:50,940 It was a bad idea. 1029 01:00:51,024 --> 01:00:52,358 No, no, no. Let's just try it again. 1030 01:00:52,442 --> 01:00:54,610 No, I feel stupid. We should look for the diary. 1031 01:00:54,694 --> 01:00:55,862 Come here. 1032 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,001 Not bad. 1033 01:01:10,793 --> 01:01:11,794 Really? 1034 01:01:11,878 --> 01:01:14,297 It wasn't, like, top five or anything. Don't get excited. 1035 01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:16,257 - But, yeah, it was okay. - Oh. 1036 01:01:16,341 --> 01:01:19,052 When you see Kendall, just walk straight up to her, 1037 01:01:19,135 --> 01:01:20,303 lay some of that shit on her, 1038 01:01:20,386 --> 01:01:21,888 and you're golden. 1039 01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:24,515 Okay. Thanks. 1040 01:01:29,896 --> 01:01:31,481 Guess we left it open. 1041 01:01:32,482 --> 01:01:33,483 Hey, Augie. 1042 01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:39,072 Ben didn't want to leave you tonight. 1043 01:01:41,282 --> 01:01:43,076 It was my idea. 1044 01:01:44,077 --> 01:01:45,661 What difference does it make? 1045 01:01:45,745 --> 01:01:47,080 It's done. 1046 01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:52,835 Yeah. 1047 01:01:57,590 --> 01:01:58,758 (GRUNTING) 1048 01:01:59,801 --> 01:02:00,802 (SCREAMING) 1049 01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:02,011 Oh, fuck! 1050 01:02:03,471 --> 01:02:04,931 (CARTER SCREAMING) 1051 01:02:13,523 --> 01:02:14,607 Come on. 1052 01:02:14,690 --> 01:02:16,450 DENISE: What the hell is going on down there? 1053 01:02:16,526 --> 01:02:18,778 We're fine! Everything's under control! 1054 01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:19,946 (ROARING) 1055 01:02:41,884 --> 01:02:45,388 No! No, no, no, no. Fucking, no! Not my ass! 1056 01:02:47,181 --> 01:02:48,558 Oh, no, no, no, no! 1057 01:02:51,644 --> 01:02:53,980 My ass! My ass! 1058 01:02:54,063 --> 01:02:56,315 She's gumming my ass! 1059 01:02:56,399 --> 01:02:57,817 Oh, my God! 1060 01:02:57,900 --> 01:02:58,901 AUGIE: Carter! 1061 01:02:59,235 --> 01:03:01,904 CARTER: Oh, God! Oh, it's disgusting! 1062 01:03:08,077 --> 01:03:09,662 Carter! 1063 01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,166 Peace out, bitch! 1064 01:03:17,086 --> 01:03:18,671 What the hell happened? 1065 01:03:19,255 --> 01:03:20,256 (SNARLING) 1066 01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,758 Shit. Back upstairs! Back upstairs! 1067 01:03:30,308 --> 01:03:31,601 Come on, come on! 1068 01:03:31,684 --> 01:03:33,269 DENISE: Move it! 1069 01:03:34,353 --> 01:03:35,730 That's not gonna hold them! 1070 01:03:35,813 --> 01:03:37,565 - Did you find the journal? - No! We looked everywhere! 1071 01:03:37,648 --> 01:03:39,025 Guys, we got to go! Come on! 1072 01:03:41,694 --> 01:03:42,695 (SCREAMING) 1073 01:03:54,207 --> 01:03:55,958 Oh, my God! They're coming! 1074 01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:59,754 Guys, if we jump, we might be able to clear the fence! 1075 01:03:59,837 --> 01:04:01,547 - What? - Fuck it, let's just jump! 1076 01:04:01,631 --> 01:04:03,174 The fence is like 10 feet away! 1077 01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:05,801 - I'll go first! - Go, go! 1078 01:04:11,724 --> 01:04:12,850 Okay. Go, go, go! 1079 01:04:19,815 --> 01:04:21,567 Augie, you got to go now! 1080 01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:23,861 Hurry! 1081 01:04:23,945 --> 01:04:24,987 I can't, I'm afraid of heights! 1082 01:04:25,071 --> 01:04:26,656 Be more afraid of zombies! Go! 1083 01:04:47,301 --> 01:04:48,302 (GASPS) 1084 01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:05,903 (SCREECHING) 1085 01:05:07,697 --> 01:05:09,448 Is that his wiener? 1086 01:05:11,033 --> 01:05:12,076 We got to do something. 1087 01:05:12,535 --> 01:05:14,370 Guys, help me! I'm falling! 1088 01:05:14,453 --> 01:05:16,372 Hang on to that cock, Ben! 1089 01:05:16,789 --> 01:05:18,708 Guys, hurry! Help me! 1090 01:05:20,376 --> 01:05:22,211 What are you doing? 1091 01:05:23,212 --> 01:05:25,548 Hey! Assholes! Come and get me. 1092 01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:31,387 BEN: Hurry! 1093 01:05:32,722 --> 01:05:33,723 It's ripping! 1094 01:05:37,226 --> 01:05:39,395 His dick's ripping! 1095 01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:42,481 (SCREAMING) 1096 01:05:58,039 --> 01:05:59,248 - I got it! - Dude! 1097 01:05:59,332 --> 01:06:00,666 (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 1098 01:06:02,293 --> 01:06:03,544 - I got it. - AUGIE: Where was it? 1099 01:06:03,628 --> 01:06:05,004 - Underwear drawer. - Classic. 1100 01:06:06,047 --> 01:06:07,214 Run! 1101 01:06:11,761 --> 01:06:13,095 (WHISPERING) Lock it. 1102 01:06:13,429 --> 01:06:15,014 BEN: Augie, get the lights. 1103 01:06:16,098 --> 01:06:17,600 AUGIE: The power's out. 1104 01:06:18,184 --> 01:06:19,852 Where the hell are we? 1105 01:06:21,270 --> 01:06:22,605 BEN: Mrs. Fielder's house. 1106 01:06:22,855 --> 01:06:24,565 AUGIE: I can't believe we just chopped her head off. 1107 01:06:24,649 --> 01:06:27,109 CARTER: She tried to eat my ass, Augie. She deserved it. 1108 01:06:27,193 --> 01:06:29,362 Guys, we got to keep moving. Come on. 1109 01:06:43,959 --> 01:06:45,336 Carter, check the window. 1110 01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:51,175 Shit, they're everywhere. 1111 01:06:51,258 --> 01:06:52,760 Miss Fielder's car is in the garage. 1112 01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:54,887 Maybe we can get out that way. This way. 1113 01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:08,401 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 1114 01:07:10,486 --> 01:07:11,612 What was that? 1115 01:07:11,696 --> 01:07:13,239 I think something's in here. 1116 01:07:13,322 --> 01:07:14,323 (CAT MEOWING) 1117 01:07:15,074 --> 01:07:16,075 Fuck, cat. 1118 01:07:23,249 --> 01:07:24,250 Augie? 1119 01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:25,626 Dude, dude. 1120 01:07:25,710 --> 01:07:27,461 - BEN: Augie. - What? 1121 01:07:27,545 --> 01:07:29,463 (WHISPERING) Don't move. 1122 01:07:33,634 --> 01:07:35,010 (SNARLING) 1123 01:07:35,094 --> 01:07:36,929 (ALL SCREAMING) 1124 01:07:40,766 --> 01:07:43,185 - Did you get it? - I got it! I got it! 1125 01:07:44,645 --> 01:07:47,064 (CATS SNARLING) 1126 01:07:48,524 --> 01:07:49,900 Run! 1127 01:07:55,948 --> 01:07:58,284 Come on, come on, come on! 1128 01:07:59,034 --> 01:08:00,369 Open the garage door! 1129 01:08:00,453 --> 01:08:01,704 It won't open! 1130 01:08:02,037 --> 01:08:03,205 Go! Ben, go! 1131 01:08:03,372 --> 01:08:04,498 Fuck it! 1132 01:08:15,551 --> 01:08:17,391 (PANTING) Oh, my God. It's Scout Leader Rogers! 1133 01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:18,637 (GROANING) 1134 01:08:18,721 --> 01:08:19,930 He looks like shit! 1135 01:08:20,014 --> 01:08:21,223 I set him on fire. 1136 01:08:21,599 --> 01:08:23,309 - What? - He tried to eat me! 1137 01:08:28,063 --> 01:08:29,982 - Wait, what are you doing? - No, don't... 1138 01:08:38,407 --> 01:08:39,825 Sorry, bro! 1139 01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:42,161 (MOANING) 1140 01:08:47,333 --> 01:08:48,959 (BELL CHIMING) 1141 01:08:57,301 --> 01:08:59,720 All right, the diary said they're at the old rec center on Dewer Street. 1142 01:08:59,804 --> 01:09:01,347 Hopefully, we're not too late. 1143 01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:03,350 All right, I'll try to get help as soon as I can. 1144 01:09:03,432 --> 01:09:05,017 Just be careful. 1145 01:09:12,942 --> 01:09:14,819 - Denise. - Yeah? 1146 01:09:15,694 --> 01:09:17,947 Look, I don't know what's gonna happen, 1147 01:09:18,948 --> 01:09:20,324 but I just wanted to let you know that 1148 01:09:20,407 --> 01:09:22,207 you're one of the coolest girls I've ever met. 1149 01:09:26,121 --> 01:09:28,374 And, uh, I hope you meet someone that deserves you. 1150 01:09:29,959 --> 01:09:30,960 Thanks. 1151 01:10:00,489 --> 01:10:02,408 Guys, let's go. We got to get to the party. 1152 01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:04,869 Ben, this is a suicide mission. 1153 01:10:04,952 --> 01:10:06,662 Guys, they're gonna bomb this whole town 1154 01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:07,830 in less than two hours. 1155 01:10:07,913 --> 01:10:09,832 What if Denise reaches the military in time? 1156 01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:11,709 And what if she doesn't, Carter? Then what? 1157 01:10:11,792 --> 01:10:14,253 Who's gonna save them? The police? They're gone. 1158 01:10:14,336 --> 01:10:17,339 The military? They're not coming, either. 1159 01:10:18,007 --> 01:10:20,342 Guys, we're the last line of defense. 1160 01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:24,346 And so what? Maybe we look like dorks in these uniforms. 1161 01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:27,391 And maybe we're a big joke to everyone at school. 1162 01:10:29,184 --> 01:10:31,186 But tonight, 1163 01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:33,551 we're gonna show them what being a real Scout's all about. 1164 01:10:34,440 --> 01:10:38,569 So, are we just gonna stand here with our thumbs up our asses? 1165 01:10:39,194 --> 01:10:41,780 Or are we gonna go out there and save the world? 1166 01:10:43,115 --> 01:10:44,366 Fuck, yeah, dude. 1167 01:10:45,701 --> 01:10:47,202 That was a really good speech, Ben. 1168 01:10:47,953 --> 01:10:49,038 Thanks, Augie. 1169 01:10:49,121 --> 01:10:50,456 Let's do it. 1170 01:10:53,459 --> 01:10:55,210 The rec center's that way. 1171 01:10:56,879 --> 01:10:58,881 We're making a pit stop first. 1172 01:10:59,673 --> 01:11:01,383 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1173 01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:12,871 (LAUGHING) Are you serious? 1174 01:12:13,914 --> 01:12:17,209 None of my text messages are going through, Travis. 1175 01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:18,794 Don't worry about that, baby. 1176 01:12:18,877 --> 01:12:20,629 Where are you taking me? 1177 01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:23,382 - Um, it's a surprise. - (CHLOE SQUEALS) 1178 01:12:23,465 --> 01:12:25,785 - You need a little spanking, don't you? - (CHLOE CHUCKLES) 1179 01:12:27,219 --> 01:12:28,220 Ew. 1180 01:12:28,637 --> 01:12:30,305 Travis, what the fuck? 1181 01:12:30,639 --> 01:12:31,640 Come on. 1182 01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,143 Okay, this place is disgusting. 1183 01:12:35,394 --> 01:12:36,979 I need to examine you. 1184 01:12:37,062 --> 01:12:38,564 - Get over here. - Oh, okay. 1185 01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:43,485 God, you're so sexy. 1186 01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:44,987 Thank you. 1187 01:12:46,822 --> 01:12:48,991 Okay, we're not about to fuck right now. 1188 01:12:49,074 --> 01:12:50,325 Why not? 1189 01:12:50,909 --> 01:12:53,412 Because we've only been dating for, like, two minutes. 1190 01:12:53,495 --> 01:12:54,496 What about a blow job? 1191 01:12:54,580 --> 01:12:57,166 Travis, I spent an hour trying to find this piece of gum. 1192 01:12:58,167 --> 01:12:59,501 Sucks. 1193 01:13:01,670 --> 01:13:04,089 Okay, fine. You can eat me out. 1194 01:13:04,173 --> 01:13:06,091 - Really? - Yes. You're welcome. 1195 01:13:14,767 --> 01:13:16,018 WOMAN: (ON PHONE) When I'm in jail 1196 01:13:16,101 --> 01:13:18,103 the first thing you do is talk to another chick. 1197 01:13:18,187 --> 01:13:19,521 - (GROWLING) - What the fuck? 1198 01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:25,861 Hey, pervert, fuck off! 1199 01:13:29,698 --> 01:13:31,200 You serious, bro? 1200 01:13:34,286 --> 01:13:35,287 (GASPS) 1201 01:13:37,664 --> 01:13:39,875 I was in jail! 1202 01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:40,959 (TRAVIS SCREAMING) 1203 01:13:42,377 --> 01:13:44,630 Hello? Are you going to do it or what? 1204 01:13:58,268 --> 01:14:02,189 Ooh! Your mouth's kind of cold. 1205 01:14:06,485 --> 01:14:07,486 (SCREAMS) 1206 01:14:12,574 --> 01:14:13,575 Stop. 1207 01:14:14,576 --> 01:14:16,745 - Stop! - Come on, babe. 1208 01:14:16,829 --> 01:14:18,747 - Stop it! - What the fuck's your problem? 1209 01:14:18,831 --> 01:14:19,998 I'm worried about my brother. 1210 01:14:20,082 --> 01:14:21,667 He should've been here hours ago. 1211 01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:22,876 He's not coming, babe. 1212 01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:24,253 How do you know? 1213 01:14:24,336 --> 01:14:26,672 Because I gave him the wrong address. 1214 01:14:26,755 --> 01:14:28,841 - What? - They're Scouts, Kendall! 1215 01:14:28,924 --> 01:14:31,426 Look, what'd you think, I was gonna invite them for real? 1216 01:14:31,510 --> 01:14:34,012 - Come here. - You are such a dick! 1217 01:14:34,096 --> 01:14:35,973 - What? You're not leaving. - Watch me! 1218 01:14:36,056 --> 01:14:37,391 You're not going! 1219 01:14:39,226 --> 01:14:40,853 - Fine, go, bitch! - (KENDALL SCREAMS) 1220 01:14:43,689 --> 01:14:46,358 Oh, Jesus, girl. Get a fucking tampon, would you? 1221 01:14:46,900 --> 01:14:49,236 (SCREAMING) 1222 01:14:57,119 --> 01:14:58,453 Someone help! 1223 01:15:00,164 --> 01:15:02,708 Help! Please, someone help! 1224 01:15:12,009 --> 01:15:14,428 (ALL SCREAMING) 1225 01:15:36,158 --> 01:15:37,159 (SCREAMING) 1226 01:15:47,252 --> 01:15:48,754 - (SNARLING) - (SCREAMING) 1227 01:15:55,761 --> 01:15:57,137 (WHISTLING) 1228 01:16:02,017 --> 01:16:04,061 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1229 01:16:11,568 --> 01:16:14,279 All right, Scouts, let's kick some zombie ass. 1230 01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:16,573 (WHIRRING) 1231 01:16:49,773 --> 01:16:50,941 (MOUTHING) Boom. 1232 01:17:07,499 --> 01:17:08,500 Chloe? 1233 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:09,668 Oh, man. 1234 01:17:09,835 --> 01:17:10,836 (GROWLS) 1235 01:17:12,462 --> 01:17:13,463 Nailed it. 1236 01:17:36,486 --> 01:17:38,030 What a dick. 1237 01:17:42,159 --> 01:17:43,535 Ben, they're everywhere! 1238 01:17:43,827 --> 01:17:45,203 Circle up! 1239 01:17:50,792 --> 01:17:51,793 You want some of this? 1240 01:17:51,877 --> 01:17:54,504 You assholes! Die! 1241 01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:57,674 Come on! You want a piece of me? 1242 01:18:00,177 --> 01:18:02,137 Ben! Ben! 1243 01:18:02,220 --> 01:18:04,014 Help! 1244 01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,228 Ben! 1245 01:18:10,354 --> 01:18:11,730 Hang on, Kendall! I'm coming! 1246 01:18:14,024 --> 01:18:15,192 Oh, shit. 1247 01:18:15,525 --> 01:18:17,194 Oh, shit. Shit, start! Come on! 1248 01:18:17,527 --> 01:18:18,862 Ben, look out! 1249 01:18:19,029 --> 01:18:20,030 Shit. 1250 01:18:31,375 --> 01:18:33,043 AUGIE: Ben, duck! 1251 01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:40,258 Ben! 1252 01:18:41,218 --> 01:18:43,720 Kendall, come down! Climb down, hurry! 1253 01:18:46,598 --> 01:18:48,100 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I think so. 1254 01:18:48,225 --> 01:18:49,559 CARTER: Guys, come on! 1255 01:18:49,643 --> 01:18:50,936 - Come on. - Come on! 1256 01:18:51,228 --> 01:18:53,939 We got to get everyone out of here! Let's go! 1257 01:18:54,398 --> 01:18:57,234 Everybody! Get to the stairs! Come on! 1258 01:19:04,074 --> 01:19:05,117 Let's go! 1259 01:19:05,242 --> 01:19:06,743 Come on, everybody, move! 1260 01:19:07,077 --> 01:19:10,747 Hurry up! Come on, come on! Let's go! 1261 01:19:10,956 --> 01:19:12,082 Let's go! 1262 01:19:12,416 --> 01:19:13,917 Let's go! Come on! 1263 01:19:14,084 --> 01:19:15,127 Oh, shit! 1264 01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:21,174 What are you doing? 1265 01:19:21,258 --> 01:19:23,009 They'll follow you if we don't lock the doors! You gotta go! 1266 01:19:23,093 --> 01:19:24,813 - What about you? - You got to go! Trust me! 1267 01:19:24,970 --> 01:19:26,304 I'm not leaving you! No! 1268 01:19:26,471 --> 01:19:28,265 Go! Go! Trust me! 1269 01:19:36,314 --> 01:19:37,649 - I'm out! - Oh, shit! 1270 01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:40,318 There's too many of them! Come on, let's go! Hurry! 1271 01:19:40,777 --> 01:19:41,820 Let's go! 1272 01:19:42,487 --> 01:19:43,488 Oh, fuck! 1273 01:19:44,489 --> 01:19:45,699 Let's go! 1274 01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:46,950 Come on! 1275 01:19:52,164 --> 01:19:53,957 BEN: Hurry, come on! 1276 01:19:54,458 --> 01:19:55,792 CARTER: Go, Augie, go! 1277 01:19:56,793 --> 01:19:58,628 Run! Run! 1278 01:20:10,098 --> 01:20:11,850 Where's the door? 1279 01:20:11,933 --> 01:20:14,019 There's got to be another exit. 1280 01:20:14,102 --> 01:20:15,520 I don't see one! 1281 01:20:15,604 --> 01:20:17,272 - We're trapped. - BEN: Shit. 1282 01:20:17,606 --> 01:20:19,046 - There's no way out of here. - Fuck. 1283 01:20:21,276 --> 01:20:22,694 - What do we do? - Give me your backpack. 1284 01:20:22,861 --> 01:20:24,863 What? What are you doing? 1285 01:20:30,202 --> 01:20:31,870 - What is that? - It's a bomb. 1286 01:20:32,204 --> 01:20:33,246 You made a bomb? 1287 01:20:33,330 --> 01:20:34,539 What are you, the Taliban? 1288 01:20:34,664 --> 01:20:37,584 Either we die fast or we're eaten alive and turn into one of those things! 1289 01:20:38,710 --> 01:20:40,170 Your choice. 1290 01:20:40,253 --> 01:20:41,254 (BANGING ON DOOR) 1291 01:20:42,797 --> 01:20:44,549 - Shit. - Carter, give me your lighter. 1292 01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:46,801 CARTER: Here. 1293 01:20:51,223 --> 01:20:52,557 Are you guys ready? 1294 01:20:56,853 --> 01:20:58,522 - Wait! - What? 1295 01:20:59,064 --> 01:21:00,106 I need to say something. 1296 01:21:00,190 --> 01:21:01,483 Ben, it's fine. 1297 01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:03,326 - You don't have to do this. - BEN: No, I do. 1298 01:21:03,985 --> 01:21:05,865 We should have never ditched you tonight, Augie. 1299 01:21:06,321 --> 01:21:08,406 What we did was really messed up. 1300 01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:10,825 He's right. We've been complete D-bags. 1301 01:21:11,326 --> 01:21:13,119 It's my fault. I never should have made you guys think 1302 01:21:13,203 --> 01:21:14,746 you had to be in Scouts for just me. 1303 01:21:14,829 --> 01:21:16,414 No, that's just it! 1304 01:21:16,498 --> 01:21:18,792 I thought I wanted out, but I was just worried 1305 01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:21,753 what other people were gonna think. The truth is, 1306 01:21:23,171 --> 01:21:25,006 I love being a Scout. 1307 01:21:26,007 --> 01:21:29,010 And I love it because it's the reason I met you guys. 1308 01:21:32,097 --> 01:21:35,267 And I know tonight's been really crazy and fucked up, 1309 01:21:35,350 --> 01:21:36,768 but one good thing has happened. 1310 01:21:37,185 --> 01:21:38,895 And it's this, right now. 1311 01:21:40,146 --> 01:21:41,231 Us. 1312 01:21:41,398 --> 01:21:43,024 Being back together. 1313 01:21:45,694 --> 01:21:47,028 Scouts forever. 1314 01:21:49,948 --> 01:21:51,533 Scouts forever. 1315 01:21:53,702 --> 01:21:54,703 AUGIE: Scouts forever. 1316 01:21:55,954 --> 01:21:57,414 (BANGING) 1317 01:22:01,293 --> 01:22:03,712 Ben? Is it really lame if I hold your hand right now? 1318 01:22:04,045 --> 01:22:05,046 No. 1319 01:22:08,300 --> 01:22:10,135 Oh, God damn it. This stupid thing! 1320 01:22:11,219 --> 01:22:12,887 - What are you doing? - It's out of fluid! 1321 01:22:12,971 --> 01:22:14,222 Here. Give me that. 1322 01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:16,600 Wait, do you have another lighter? 1323 01:22:20,395 --> 01:22:22,564 God damn it, Augie, we were supposed to die fast! 1324 01:22:25,066 --> 01:22:26,568 This is gonna hurt so bad. 1325 01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:28,153 Come on, Augie, you can do it! 1326 01:22:28,236 --> 01:22:30,488 Don't pressure me! I hate that! 1327 01:22:32,198 --> 01:22:34,618 Yo, dipshits! You just gonna sit there or what? 1328 01:22:35,994 --> 01:22:37,579 Where'd she come from? 1329 01:22:39,956 --> 01:22:41,416 BEN: Augie, leave it! 1330 01:22:42,208 --> 01:22:43,918 (SCREAMING) 1331 01:22:48,882 --> 01:22:49,883 BEN: Augie, let's go! 1332 01:22:56,348 --> 01:22:57,349 (SHOUTING) 1333 01:23:10,945 --> 01:23:12,364 (SCREAMING) 1334 01:23:28,296 --> 01:23:29,714 Are you guys okay? 1335 01:23:29,798 --> 01:23:31,883 I'm alive. I'm alive! 1336 01:23:31,966 --> 01:23:33,718 Oh, my God! Augie! 1337 01:23:33,802 --> 01:23:35,804 - Dude! You're a genius! - It worked! 1338 01:23:35,887 --> 01:23:37,305 That was fucking awesome! 1339 01:23:37,389 --> 01:23:38,723 - Fuck, yeah, man! - It worked! 1340 01:23:38,890 --> 01:23:39,891 (SNARLING) 1341 01:23:40,809 --> 01:23:42,102 What the fuck? 1342 01:23:42,560 --> 01:23:44,312 Is that Scout Leader Rogers? 1343 01:23:46,815 --> 01:23:48,942 You got to hand it to him. The man is a fighter. 1344 01:23:50,235 --> 01:23:52,821 Oh, shit. Does anybody have a weapon? 1345 01:23:52,904 --> 01:23:55,407 There's got to be something around here. 1346 01:24:02,038 --> 01:24:04,040 (AIR WHISTLING) 1347 01:24:07,085 --> 01:24:08,086 (MOANING) 1348 01:24:10,255 --> 01:24:11,256 Ah! 1349 01:24:13,174 --> 01:24:15,802 Every goddamn time! Ugh! 1350 01:24:27,188 --> 01:24:28,606 Now you decide to show up. 1351 01:24:31,901 --> 01:24:33,153 (GUNS COCKING) 1352 01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:52,130 MAN: (OVER RADIO) Evacuation fleet moving to secondary location. 1353 01:24:52,213 --> 01:24:53,631 DENISE: Dude, you look like shit. 1354 01:24:53,715 --> 01:24:54,955 Yeah, well, what do you expect? 1355 01:24:55,008 --> 01:24:56,134 I've been killing zombies all night. 1356 01:24:56,217 --> 01:24:57,857 Yeah, you were kind of badass last night. 1357 01:24:59,387 --> 01:25:00,889 Well, thanks for coming back. 1358 01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:02,307 Somebody's got to keep saving your ass. 1359 01:25:02,390 --> 01:25:03,725 Yeah, I guess so. 1360 01:25:04,392 --> 01:25:07,729 So, um, are we gonna hang out after this, or... 1361 01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:10,231 Come on, I feel like the four of us are a team now. 1362 01:25:10,315 --> 01:25:11,357 Relax, dude. 1363 01:25:11,483 --> 01:25:13,985 You've got some business to take care of right now. 1364 01:25:18,281 --> 01:25:20,116 Go for it. You got this. 1365 01:25:20,950 --> 01:25:23,036 - All right. - Go. 1366 01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,627 I am so happy that you're okay. 1367 01:25:33,755 --> 01:25:37,550 Oh, that's so sweet. Up top! 1368 01:25:37,801 --> 01:25:39,385 Dude, I'm not high-fiving that. 1369 01:25:39,469 --> 01:25:40,553 Come on. 1370 01:25:40,637 --> 01:25:42,555 You think I'm high-fiving that? 1371 01:25:42,639 --> 01:25:44,224 - Come on! - (CHANTING GIBBERISH) 1372 01:25:44,641 --> 01:25:45,975 Aww, look at them! 1373 01:25:50,188 --> 01:25:51,523 Who are you? 1374 01:25:52,023 --> 01:25:53,358 I'm a Scout. 1375 01:25:57,987 --> 01:25:59,030 All right, well, this just means 1376 01:25:59,155 --> 01:26:00,395 - I'm gonna fuck his mom. - Hey! 1377 01:26:00,448 --> 01:26:01,616 What? 1378 01:26:01,699 --> 01:26:04,369 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1379 01:28:19,379 --> 01:28:21,631 (MOANING) 1380 01:28:25,677 --> 01:28:26,678 (SPLATTERS) 1381 01:28:26,844 --> 01:28:28,513 Come on. 1382 01:28:30,723 --> 01:28:32,016 The end. 92919