Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Come on, fuck it!

Get her out.

Dave, look out!

Hey, come on, does the camera still work?

Has it got enough battery?

Yeah, hold on, I think so.

I'm just trying to figure out

where is the ISO setting on this thing?

Press the button on the top and turn the dial.

Ah, okay, got it, it's working.

Okay, can you zoom into my face first

and then we do the laptop?

Zoom in into, okay.

All right, Miss Spielberg, I got you.

Okay, is everything running?

Yeah, like I said, it's still running.

Okay.

My name is Mary Sheffield,

and I study media science

at the Humboldt University in Berlin.

Oh man, ah, this is too funny.

Josh, don't be an idiot!

Okay, my bad, all right, start again.

Okay.

My name is Mary Sheffield,

and I study media science

at the Humboldt University in Berlin.

I'm currently analyzing various viral-gone YouTube videos

for their realness,

and I'm not talking about funny cat videos

or kids doing cute things.

It's more about the dark side.

Unexplained murders, accidents,

apparitions, cryptozoology, all those things

that one voluntarily like to spend their free time with.

And some people call these videos snuff,

but I call them fake.

And the majority of these videos can be exposed

with the help of some few simple methods.

Because no matter if it's a magic trick

or an optical illusion, Photoshop and After Effects.

99% of these videos that are viewed by millions

on platforms such as Facebook and YouTube are sober fakes,

and I'm here to expose them.

But in order to do so,

I also had to spend some time

on the dark side of the internet.

The side where pages can be viewed

on the so-called dark web,

where one can pursue any and all desires.

Child pornography, animal pornography,

sadism, fantasies of terror, propaganda or violence.

The misery of humanity limited to disgusting thumbnails

and even worse videos.

And it's here that you can also find

so-called ghost videos, paranormal phenomena

only there to shock and disturb the viewer.

But there are no such things as ghosts,

creatures, demons, or Santa Claus.

It is all fake.

Although, they are done pretty well.

Okay, cut the shit, Mary, seriously.

You have to edit it, anyway.

All right, well,

talk about that video that I sent you.

Oh yeah, okay.

So I'm here today because there's been a new video

which has taken the internet by a storm.

But unfortunately, there's only a censored version

of it available on YouTube.

But thanks to a couple hundred euros,

an anonymous user has put the video into my hands,

and I'm going to watch it for the first time.

Are you ready, Josh?

Yeah, well, lemme just reposition this camera

- and adjust the lighting. - Okay, but hurry up.

I'm really excited.

Josh, can you edit it so that the viewer

can watch my reaction and the recording

at the same time?

Yeah, no problem, I can,

I could edit that, that's easy.

Okay, everything running, sound okay?

Sound is on, recording, yep, you're good to go.

Okay.

So keep in mind

that the recording may have some graphic images,

and the recordings are also uncut,

so I can't guarantee anything.

Then we're ready.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh, Josh, you have to edit that out.

Oh no, that's definitely staying in.

Wow, that was really well made.

What do you think, Josh?

What do you mean, what do I think?

I haven't even, I haven't seen the video yet,

but looking at your reaction, I got some, I got goosebumps.

Come over here and watch it.

All right, hold on.

Oh my, I can't even, this is,

how can you, oh my god, I can't even look,

I can't even look at this.

So what do you think?

What do you mean, what do I think?

There's people, people dying and getting cut up and shit.

What do you mean?

This is so recognizably fake.

- Are you... - This was definitely made

with a second unit, I mean look at the division

between the pictures and the enactments.

These special effects must have cost

a couple thousand euros.

You are trippin'.

I'm out to get me a beer.

I need to watch this again.

Do you even know how good that video was?

I mean, I've never seen anything like it.

The video of an actual murder, you mean?

Murder?

Why murder?

That was so unrecognizably fake,

I mean those special effects were insane, also the acting.

I mean those actors were insanely good.

Do you think it'll be hard to get ahold of their identities?

Mary, are you actually like sick in the head?

Are you crazy, like there's people dying,

like all these people getting killed,

and you think it's so dope, like what is wrong with you?

Okay, then let's suppose it is real.

It is real.

Okay, so if it was real,

then how come we've never heard anything about it?

There would've been news reports, articles, or something.

We haven't even looked it up.

Hold on, let me show you.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna show you.

Bingo, see, there it is.

What have you found?

This is a, what I was telling you about.

I've heard of this before,

I just didn't really think much of it.

Here, read this.

The article's about our video.

Yeah.

According to the author, the video was recorded

50 kilometers away from Berlin, two years ago.

After all the dead bodies disappeared,

and the cameraman, who also died in hospital,

the investigations were stopped.

According to the source,

a huge amount of money was paid

to the families of the victims.

And then it fell quiet.

Then a few months later, the video was anonymously uploaded

to the internet, and it spread.

Josh, do you know what this means?

That I'm fucking scared?

This is perfect for my final paper.

Are you serious?

I hate when you act like this.

Ooh, it's your boy, though.

It's your boy, though.

It's a dope-ass little camera, man.

But can it handle me?

That's the question, can it handle your boy?

With dem glasses.

Glasses off, glasses on.

Glasses off, I think I like 'em better on.

Let me get my hair lookin' cool, though.

Yep, I think we straight, I think we straizy dope.

Fucking cat.

Yeah, I'm happy to hold the line.

Ooh, a wild nympho in her natural habitat.

Yes, yes, so I'm recording a documentary and report

on the history of the building

and I would love to interview you if that's possible.

It's for a university,

I'm studying Historical Studies in Berlin.

Why would I like an interview?

Well I think you're a very interesting person, and,

okay, how much would you like?

500 euros?

That is a little bit too expensive right now,

so maybe you could lower the price?

400?

Yep, okay, that'll be fine.

Okay great, in which case

we'll be dropping by sometime this week

and I'll send you an email with all the details

and yeah, thank you so much.

Hello?

Did you arrange a hot lesbian date?

Josh! Do you...

So I spoke to her on the phone the other day,

and we've got an interview, which is really good.

And then, so we're gonna go to the location

for two days straight to film it,

and I was wondering if maybe you and Michael could help us?

Ah, amazing, thank you so much.

We'll see you then.

- Good news, or? - Really good news.

Julia and Michael said they'll help us on the shoot.

Oh, Michael, yeah, that means beer and joints!

Josh, could you please take it a little bit seriously?

Oh, sorry, um, is there any other good news?

Yeah, the medium has agreed to our interview.

It's going to cost us 400 euros, which,

- 400? - Yes, it is a lot.

But it will be good for documentation.

This way we can reveal the hocus-pocus,

and have the audience on our side.

Do you think she'll be okay with that?

Doesn't matter, as long as we are revealing the truth.

All right, so, you got everything?

You got everything?

I think so, I've still got to get the equipment

and make the film schedule,

but it looks like on Wednesday we're gonna meet the team

- to discuss the shoot. - Okay.

Thursday, drive to Madam Hocus-Pocus' house,

film the whole entire thing,

and then Friday we'll go to the location

for two days straight, shoot the whole entire thing.

- Perfect, yeah. - I think it's gonna work.

Yeah, cool.

- Awesome. - Oh, and I've also

contacted a cinematographer.

A cinematographer, yeah, exactly.

He's gonna have really great shots, great recordings,

it's gonna be really beautiful.

- But I thought I was gonna... - No, yeah.

- Do the... - Sorry, um.

No disrespect, you're kind of gonna be maybe producer?

All right, I get it.

Well your producer's gonna go turn off the camera,

and drink a beer, eff this water.

Aw, the poor boy's insulted.

Leave me alone.

Okay, let me show you the equipment.

Show me what you got.

Ooh , what'd you do to my room?

Good, isn't it?

You got like 5000 euros worth of stuff,

you got a drone thing.

Even got night-time vision cameras.

Night cameras, you, this,

this must be really, really important to you.

It's just gonna, I dunno,

change all those minds of those disbelievers.

It's gonna be perfect.

You know you sound like a cult member

or something like that.

Well, I am in the snuff cult.

Whatever that is.

Oh, dope, you even got one of these

spy cameras that you hang up on the,

is that what this is?

Josh, it's a USB.

Hey.

Hello.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi, Mary, nice to finally meet you.

Right, well, hello.

Thank you for coming.

That's him?

Did you get here okay?

Yes.

He better not try to hit on Mary.

I'm gonna be pissed.

We'll turn on the coffee when we get inside.

Yeah, yeah.

Well this is my flatmate and my assistant, Josh.

I thought I was a producer.

Please don't be a dickhead.

He can be a bit sensitive sometimes.

Whatever.

Hi, I'm Dave.

Josh.

Play nice.

Dave, I'll come show you the equipment.

Okay.

I already don't like this dude.

So, what do you think?

Fake.

See, I told you, at least someone has an idea.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Both of y'all are crazy.

Sorry Dave, he can be like that sometimes.

Well.

Oh, there are the other two!

Okay, so Dave, just as we discussed,

record absolutely everything.

We're gonna need all of this for making of.

- Oh, okay. - Okay?

Thank you.

Hi guys!

- How've you been? - Good, good, how are you?

Good thank you!

- Hey Michael. - Hey Mary,

it's been nice catching up, where's Josh?

- That way. - Ah, thank you.

- Oh my god. - Make yourself at home.

Oh, who's that?

This is Dave, our camera operator.

Oh, hey Dave, what's up?

Hi.

Okay.

Hey man.

Hey, what's up, bro?

Long time no see.

How you been, man?

- Good? - Yeah, I'm fine.

How are you?

Good, you want a beer?

Thought you'd never ask.

Dude, out of the way.

Got a couple in here.

So, question is, who exactly are you supposed to be?

Your worst nightmare.

Yeah, well that settles that, then.

- There you go, bro. - Thanks.

Cheers.

So, what's the flight plan here?

Bro, I have no idea, man.

You gotta ask little miss sunshine Mary,

but I just think it's a bad idea, whatever we do.

Did you guys not straighten things out

after, you know, what happened a couple weeks ago?

Dude, I have no idea, man.

She's, she's so hard to read.

And that's exactly why you're just my assistant.

Thought I was a producer.

Yeah whatever, Josh.

Why don't you guys make out already, huh?

Ooh I know, we could play a fun party game.

It's called tell Michael what the fuck's going on.

Mary, you go first.

Okay, fine, okay, so.

Wait!

- Ha ha ha. - Go.

Thank you, thank you, okay.

Okay, so basically there's a video, okay?

And we want to expose this video as fake, okay?

So we're going to drive to a particular location

and find as much evidence as possible

to prove that everything has been staged.

And we're also gonna record it,

so I can use it for my final paper.

Ooh right, even if I might regret this question

in just a second, what kind of videos are we talking about?

I knew that was gonna be asked.

Josh, can you get the video up please?

Yes, your honor.

Thank you, you guys are gonna love it.

I dunno, somehow I feel weird about this.

No, no, no, trust me.

Whoa.

I told you.

I dunno, I don't have a good feeling about this.

Oh come on, the video effects

are looking pretty sweet, right?

I mean, how much you reckon they paid for this?

Seriously, shut up Michael.

- Are you serious? - Oh, yeah.

Come on, it's obviously visual effects, right?

It's probably a viral trailer for a found footage film.

If you ask me, the genre's been done to death, but.

But I don't think it's a fake, man.

Thank you.

Oh come on, just look at the video.

Like really look at it for a second.

At least we got another believer.

Oh yeah, well if you say so, but you know, yeah,

if Michael says it's fake, I think it's fake.

- Not! - Are you fucking kidding me?

Dude, relax, all right?

You have something to smoke?

Yeah, I think I got some in my room.

All right, ladies, if you'll excuse me.

Michael.

But I've got places to be.

Jeez you are an idiot.

Hey, hey, don't smoke all my shit.

Mary, do you really think it's all fake?

Julia, trust me, okay?

I've got such a good feeling about this.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

All right, and I got such a good quick-dry

top coat nail polish for you, look.

- Oh great. - One minute!

- Awesome, right? - Yeah.

Want me to show you?

- I brought it. - Why not, okay.

Awesome, I'll go get it.

- Yeah, okay. - Just stay right there.

Cool.

Dude.

Thanks, man.

So, this is how the plan looks, my little subjects.

You wish, Mary.

Okay, I'm only joking.

- Funny! - Okay, so,

the plan is like this.

You've both seen the video, yeah?

And you're both saying that we're all sharing the opinion

that we're talking about a fake.

- No. - Not me.

Okay, well, we are talking about a fake.

And because of this, we have nothing to worry about

in terms of anything with evil spirits,

murderers, you name it, nothing to worry about.

What about crazy serial killers?

That too, so anyway, now we've clarified that,

next plan of action is I want to go to Frau Weiss' house,

and at best do an interview with her,

maybe also a behind-the-scenes sort of tour,

so we can really wind out that paranormal chatter

and just show that nobody was actually murdered.

However I have to tell you now

that she's got no idea that we believe this,

and thinks that we actually believe her utter bullshit.

Okay, and in danger of me sounding like Mary,

do we actually have permission to film at this location?

Very funny, and yes of course we do, Julia.

We're talking about an abandoned sanitarium here.

That doesn't answer my question.

But it's abandoned,

no-one's gonna be living there, are they?

It's in like an hour's drive away in Oranienburg

in a place called Grabows, Grabow-something.

And for the last 20 years it's been totally decayed.

But because of its landmark status,

the authorities have kept it up,

which is really good for us.

But it's old and the roof, like,

it's probably just gonna cave in on us while we're in there.

- Yeah. - No, Josh.

We're obviously gonna shoot really carefully.

Okay, doesn't matter how careful we shoot,

that doesn't help the roof, gravity.

Hello.

- The old buildings... - Yeah.

We'll be safe, okay?

And how long do we have to shoot there?

We're only gonna be there for one night.

Josh and Dave are always already

gonna wire up the whole house,

put cameras in all the rooms,

and also sound recorders.

That way in the morning we can already go home.

And Josh and I will do all the editing, easy.

And what are Michael and I gonna do?

You guys, you're going to be on the filming,

you're gonna be filming the shoot,

and also gonna be on the building conversions.

And one more thing, I also want you to play the ghosts.

What, play the ghosts?

Well yes, we need to show how easy it is to produce fakes.

That's why we need real live bodies,

to show how those recordings probably emerged

as easy as that as well.

Sounds kind of sick, but also kind of funny.

No, it's not funny, it's just sick.

Come on guys, this is really important to me.

And it is my final paper,

and together we can deliver really good work.

All right sweetie, we're gonna help you.

Thank you, and you Josh?

Only if we never do anything like this ever again.

Okay, yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.

Well, then we're ready, let's go chase some ghosts.

I guess so.

Michael.

Yeah?

Michael.

I tried counting the stripes on your shirt.

There's so many stripes, you look like a toothpaste.

What?

I'm so high right now.

- Bro, bro. - It's not doing...

Josh, can you show me where we are on the map, please?

I think we might have gotten lost.

Yeah, yeah, we're just, we came from over there, so.

I think we are,

like,

- around here? - Ugh, useless.

- Wait, what? - Hi, excuse me please.

I'm looking for the Sanitarium at Grabowsee?

Um, sorry?

Nice ass, bitch.

Germany!

Have we got everything?

Yeah, yeah, got everything,

except I just realized I left the extra batteries at home.

Sorry?

I was charging batteries last night,

I must've left them on the table.

I thought they were in my backpack, but they're not there.

Josh, are you serious?

- Yeah, I mean. - Josh, if you

left the batteries at home,

you've ruined this whole entire project!

Look, pancakes.

No, seriously, you said I could 100% rely on you.

Are you serious?

I was just kidding, like I have the batteries.

I didn't think you'd freak out.

What?

I have the batteries, I didn't think you'd freak out,

I wouldn't have said...

You're such a liability.

Are you serious?

Hey, slick move, bro.

Whatever man.

Woohoo, let's get the party started!

You all right, where's Mary?

Can I not leave you alone for just one second?

I didn't do anything, honeysuckle.

Yeah, good chance you didn't do anything.

Here little lady, let's get the party started!

Woo!

And where'd Mary find you again?

YouTube.

Yeah, it explains a lot.

So it should be anywhere in this direction now.

Very sweet part of town.

Looks like the woman's got some cash.

Yeah, she's been doing this for seven years.

She writes ghost stories

and has an online channel called, um, Ghost Pictures.

What a shitty name.

I know, and on this channel

she does paranormal happenings,

she visits supposedly haunted houses,

and fools all of her audiences.

Which is quite a shame, really.

She's got so many followers.

Where did you find out about her again?

On the internet when I was searching for apparitions,

I came across so many demons, and of course Mrs. White,

'cause she says that she communicates

with the kingdom of the dead, or something like that,

but I don't fall for any of that crap.

Well I wouldn't say that, I mean,

something like that happened to my uncle.

What?

What happened?

Well when my uncle was six years old,

his grandfather had passed away.

And you know, back in the day it was still common practice

to keep the deceased relative in the house,

so, you know, the spirit could find its way out

and to a new home,

and all the relatives could say their farewells.

Oh, that's gross.

Well, and the thing about my great-grandfather was,

he was a fiend and a madman.

You know, he was old schools, old school,

"Do your duty, be a man."

And you know, when things didn't go his way,

there'd be hell to pay.

Oh no.

Well, um, so his body's barred up in the house,

and my uncle, he sleeps in the room right upstairs.

And, the night before the funeral,

things started getting weird.

What do you mean?

Like how?

Well, at first, there was this quiet knocking

at the walls.

A knocking?

Yeah, and the next morning, my uncle asked his mother

if she had heard anything, but you know,

she'd been fast asleep, all things considered.

And so the funeral came up,

and things went super smoothly, you know,

nothing out of the ordinary happened.

But the night after, the knocking got louder.

And it started moving within the walls.

Stop it, Michael, please.

No seriously, and so my uncle walks into the hallway

to see what's going on,

and there he sees this shadowy figure.

He'd always say, it's like painting a face

into thin air with your breath on a cold morning.

And so he walks up to that figure,

and he says, grandpa, is that you?

And then the figure turns around,

and for a split second it's manifest,

and then grabs him by the neck,

tosses him onto the floor, and says,

You shouldn't be up at this hour.

What?

Yeah, man, and so the next morning my uncle wakes up

with a sore throat, and he comes down into the kitchen,

and his mom looks at his neck,

and he's got two bruise marks there

as though from two very large hands.

You're kidding, right?

No I'm not.

Yeah, nice story Michael.

You should sell it online.

Yeah.

Look, I didn't make this up, okay?

This is personal, and it actually happened.

You know what, you're crazy.

Yeah, you should know.

- Guys, we're here. - Yeah well I do, actually.

What?

Siedlerweg number 10.

What, here?

- Oh. - Here is Mrs. White's.

Yo, this place looks kinda dope, I mean,

I'm not trying to go in, but I bet you she has hella money.

That is what I said, she's famous in this scene.

I don't know, I still think it looks kinda creepy, guys.

Yeah, well maybe you should head in first,

see who's gonna chop us all in half, one by one.

Shut up you idiot, I'm serious.

All right, I'm sorry, okay?

What.

And Mary, I'm sorry too,

but Julia's got a point, this place is creepy.

Whoa!

Dude are you kidding me, what is that?

A drone!

Are you actively trying to take my head off?

Michael, stop overreacting,

this is gonna be so good for the footage.

Oh yeah sure,

let the dimwit over there have a drone,

what could possibly go wrong?

Are we done?

Right, you guys ready?

I dunno.

Yeah, ready.

Okay.

Are you guys ready?

Yeah, ready.

Okay.

Yeah, all right, just take it.

Yeah, I'm coming, it's not me.

Michael, I always have to wait for you.

It's Dave.

Yeah, I bet you wait for me, baby.

Right, you wish.

Well, looks like nobody's home.

Let's just leave.

But we had an appointment,

I don't know how this has happened.

Well she's not here,

let's just leave and come back later.

Come on guys, out of the way.

Yo, ghost bitch, open up or I'll huff and puff

and blow this place down.

Michael!

Don't be so rude.

Oh come on, that old crone's fast asleep.

I'm not that old.

Frau Weiss, I am so sorry,

my crewmate Michael over here completely overreacted.

He doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb in chandelier.

Excuse me?

Chandelier?

Frau Weiss, I'm Mary Sheffield,

I'm from the Humboldt University in Berlin,

we spoke on the phone the other day?

Oh, the little filmmaker.

I'm sorry, I'm not interested in helping you.

Frau Weiss, please!

Sorry, I really do need this for my final paper.

I don't care.

I've got the 400.

Um, yeah, all there.

Josh?

Are you serious?

Don't know what you're laughing at.

I will make it up to you, I promise, okay?

Yeah.

Follow me.

Thank you.

Not you.

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

All right.

Bye Michael.

Yeah, I'll see you next Tuesday.

- Ah. - Yeah, sure, take it.

The camera.

Have fun without me.

Follow me.

Wow, um.

This is just, big.

Do you live here?

I inherited this house.

Do you live on your own?

It's like MTV Cribs.

Oh shit.

Nice place.

Frau Weiss, do you think,

if my cameraman sets up our camera?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So why did you come here?

So as you know,

we're all at the Humboldt University in Berlin,

and for my final paper,

we're wanting to make a documentary report

on the idea that ghosts are actually real.

Very nice, a believer.

So and how did you come to this realization?

Um, well, um,

my uncle actually,

it happened with my uncle when he was a child.

His grandfather died,

and they kept his body inside the house,

and quite often when my uncle would be in his bed,

at the foot of his bed, his granddad would come back.

It was just one time, it wasn't a good ghost,

and unfortunately my uncle was attacked.

Yeah, the demons are everywhere around us.

Sometimes they even take possession of people

and cause misery in our world.

I certainly experience this many times.

I'm sorry, but, where you want to shoot your movie?

Um, here, we want to shoot it at this house.

The house of the devil.

- Sorry? - No.

Wait, what about the house?

The devil lives there, I saw him with my own eyes.

Okay, and what happened at this house?

Dead.

Everybody's dead.

Please, Frau Weiss, we need a little bit more information.

What kind of show is this?

Take my hand.

Oh man.

Come on.

What the bloody hell happened?

Everyone's totally freaked out,

and the table hit Josh in the face, like...

- What? - Yes.

Oh my god, you know,

that thing just hit me in the face, man.

Aw, I can't see.

Mary are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm... - You sure?

- Yeah, I'm fine. - Aw.

Look guys, that was a really good performance in there.

She must have some bloody good technology,

special effects...

- Oh my god. - What?

I'm bleeding, you think this is,

you think this is fake?

Look, I still just have to get into that house.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, you know guys, I don't think I wanna do this anymore,

seriously, I mean what just happened in there?

That was, I don't know either, but that was real.

You gotta talk to Mary about this.

Like guys, could you please just fill me in

on what happened?

Anyone, Mary, Julia, Josh?

Dave come on, just give me the camera.

Thanks.

Are you serious?

Guys, come on, you can't be serious.

Stay here.

Hi Dave.

How's the recording?

What?

How's the recording?

Cold.

Okay.

But, guys, seriously, what the fuck happened in there?

Come on, Josh, tell me.

I have no idea man, that lady started acting all crazy.

Next thing I knew I was blacked out on the ground.

How's your head?

It's okay, like I'm a little dizzy,

but should be okay.

How about little miss Hitchcock over here?

I dunno.

Hey, Mary.

Oh my god, hey, it's okay, what's up?

Look, Mary, what happened in there?

Nothing, it was all fake.

But there's no point in talking about this,

'cause it's not going in the film anyway,

and we just wasted 500 euros on a liar for nothing.

That didn't look like nothing to me.

Oh, so you believe in this as well now?

All I'm saying is, it's looking pretty believable.

Well it was merely special effects and poor acting.

Yeah, let's hope for that.

Okay, I think this is our street right here.

We're finally here.

Little cold out here, man.

Oh, that's pretty sweet.

Whoa, what a mansion, man.

According to my research,

it was built in the 18th century

and survived both of the World Wars.

And during the Second World War,

it was redone a military hospital.

And when East communism came in,

it completely decayed and didn't find a new owner.

Wow, that is truly boring.

Is this really where we're gonna spend the night?

I mean, come on.

I don't even have service,

like how am I gonna upload my new YouTube video?

Oh, I'm sorry, but we can be your YouTube.

These two fools are the feed, and I'll be the mean comments.

- Are you guys serious? - Shut up, seriously.

Yeah I'm serious, there's more to life

than old military hospitals, Mary.

You should try it once.

Oh, guys, look!

Hey, check this out.

That's terrible.

Oh my god, what is it, it's a fox?

And what is the point of this, Michael?

Is it real?

Look, I'm saving it, okay?

Applying CPR, stat!

Nope, I'm calling it, Dave you got this?

This is Fox News telling you

that liberals are ruining ghost stories everywhere.

Stop it, you idiot.

Ooh, how you doin', foxy lady?

I'd swipe right for you any day of the week.

You're sick.

You're dumb, fool.

What do you say, Mr. Fox?

I think she should chill the fuck out.

What he said.

You're an idiot.

Get your fucking hands off her.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

I'm sorry, you wanna be alone when you rape her?

- Michael! - Let go of him!

- Leave! - Let him go, you're choking.

I don't tolerate intruders.

I watch over this building!

- Leave! - Let him go!

He can't breathe!

Let me go or I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Now move back, nice and slow.

Hold up here.

Or I'm gonna put a fucking bullet in your face!

What is going on, Michael?

Get a move on.

Bro, put the fucking gun down.

Why'd you bring that thing anyway?

Dude relax, it's only blanks all right?

Are you completely crazy?

Did you see what just happened?

That guy nearly choked me,

and that's precisely why I brought a gun.

You are such an asshole.

I just saved your life, how am I the asshole?

'Cause you are.

Dude get a fucking move on.

Michael, you are completely deranged.

You're putting my entire project at risk.

Your project?

I thought this was supposed to be our project.

Oh I don't need any more surprises.

We don't need the police coming here.

Oh yeah, you know what?

Next surprise comes headed our way,

you'll be glad I brought this.

Dude, gimme that shit, bro.

Excuse me, did your balls just drop?

Give it back to me.

Josh.

Yeah, listen to your lady love and give it back.

Yeah, thanks bro.

Okay, come on guys, we still need to set the technics up

and somehow get inside the building.

What?

You wanna keep filming?

Are you fucking serious?

You're serious, I need a cigarette.

Wow.

Yeah, you gotta admit, this looks pretty dope.

It looks pretty though.

Hell no, hell no, this shit,

I can already tell it's haunted.

You getting scared, Josh?

I am scared.

Come on, admit it looks pretty scary,

doesn't it?

I mean, look at all these buildings, Mary.

Nothing's gonna harm us.

- So old. - How do we know?

Julia.

Yeah, like that guy over there, seriously.

Yeah, what if his homies are inside?

I know right?

I mean, it looks pretty locked to me.

Then how are we, how are we gonna get in?

Maybe our new friend's got a key?

Dude, shut up man.

Fuck that, I'll show you key.

Come on, take it down like a man.

Voila.

All right, let's move.

But I'm not going in first.

Shotgun.

All right, let's do this.

This is so spooky.

All right guys, this way.

You sure?

Let's unpack the lights that I gave earlier.

Yeah, mom.

- Lights on. - Lights on.

Put the lights on.

Lights on!

All right, it's pretty dark.

- Looks pretty dark. - Yeah, put the lights on now.

All right,

- is this how it works? - Are you sure, I'm...

- Yes, Josh, - Is my light on?

Just put the lights on, okay?

No, I mean, are you sure you wanna go down there?

Trust me.

It is probably gonna be fine, right?

- Right? - Am I on?

- Yeah. - All right.

Okay.

- Okay. - All right.

Don't forget your gloves.

Am I on?

- Yeah. - Yeah, you're good.

- No. - No, you're off again.

- Oh. - Okay.

And might I say, you look like an idiot.

Yeah right, bro.

All right, well thank god you don't.

Okay, we're all ready?

Excuse me?

You heard me.

Oh come on.

A very handsome idiot.

- Oh my god. - Oh jeez.

So, eenie meenie miney mo.

This is creepy.

I quite like it.

Watch out though, there's like holes and stuff.

- Good, mainly stuff. - Well, certainly looks

like no-one's been cleaning up in here in a while.

Seriously, what a shithole.

It looks like it's gonna collapse.

Watch your head.

It looks like it's gonna collapse like any minute, though.

Come on, just brighten up, Sunshine Sally.

Looks safe enough to me.

Just watch your step.

Don't be such a pessimist.

Whoa!

Bro, I told you,

- Fine, fine, fine. - Didn't I,

didn't I just tell you, I just told him.

- Guys watch out. - Look, just go ahead, okay?

- Fine, yeah. - Oh, Michael,

there's a hole in the ground.

Oh, I'm sorry, I saw the hole in your face

that keeps talking.

- Watch out, bro. - You guys, come on.

I mean, you want this film to be good,

or do you want me to be safe?

Either way.

Shit, I don't even care.

Watch your head.

All right.

Oh my god, this is so creepy.

Imagine all the ghosts that have come down here.

Are we gonna get anything?

It's funny now.

I know right?

Okay, careful, careful, careful.

Rocks, boulders.

Uh, yeah.

Oh, beer bottle.

Oh, a poison bottle, in case anyone wants a drink.

What is this room, with all the beer?

Oh this looks dope.

Come on, bro, let's go.

Oh, I'm sorry for keeping you up.

I just wanna spend the least amount of time

in here.

Oh here we go.

Everyone okay?

- Yeah. - Sure.

Mind your heads.

Thank heaven, the walls.

Guys, I think we're gonna set the cameras up here.

In here?

By the center, close to two exits.

Okay.

So, Julia and Michael, can you go straightaway,

and start to set up the light stands?

- I dunno, can we? - Straightaway.

All right, fine, we'll go.

And Josh, can you go upstairs with Dave

and sort the night vision cameras out?

Yeah.

But also, do not forget the flour, it's very important.

Flour?

For the alleged footprints?

Ah, okay.

Cool, let's go.

And Josh, do take care of yourself, okay?

Got you.

So, um, when did you get into like filming and stuff?

Are you, you don't talk or anything?

You like Jurassic Park?

You got the t-shirt on.

I'm not talking to you anymore, bro.

Okay.

So do you think Josh and Mary are gonna fuck?

I dunno, what gives you that impression?

Have you looked at them lately?

I dunno, they're flatmates.

Seriously, I think Josh looks so sad.

I don't think Mary has any idea

about the feelings he has for her.

Well, I know what kinds of feelings you have for me.

You had your chance.

Well, how about a second change?

Come on, I've changed, I've grown as a person.

Have you?

Well here's your chance.

All right, fine, I'll take it.

Because I have no self respect.

Yep, it's gonna be a fantastic night.

Is it working?

Oh, shh, yeah, okay.

Ooh, this is creepy.

Ooh, spooky.

Ooh, wow.

Okay.

I've got to go somewhere.

So many rooms.

Ooh.

Okay, that's a bit eerie.

Maybe not.

Yeah, I'm gonna leave it.

It's cold.

Ooh, what were these wires for?

I don't wanna look in there.

Oh my gosh.

Who even walked down these corridors?

What?

Anything else?

Oh that's weird.

Oh.

That's sweet!

Oh, a children's book!

Oh.

Someone must have left this behind.

I don't think I actually had a teddy as a kid.

Did I?

Oh.

Oh gosh.

This looks so traumatic.

This poor child.

Oh my god.

Michael, did you hear that?

Yeah, what's going on?

It's Mary!

Come on, let's take a look.

What was that?

Dude, let's go.

Gah!

Guys, what's wrong?

Where's Mary?

- I heard her scream. - What's going on?

- Oh my god. - Oh, what happened?

I saw him!

You saw who?

- I saw... - Calm down.

The man, a man!

But was it that creep from earlier?

Wait, okay, I'll take care of it.

No, no, no, Michael, wait.

Seriously, are you okay, Mary?

I was walking down that corridor, and I found this.

What is that?

I dunno, I was, I was looking up

and there was this man looking down at me.

Was it that creep from earlier?

I don't know!

Look, maybe that guy...

What kind of sick shit is this?

Look at that.

You know what, that guy really needs

to be taught a lesson.

Dude, he's long gone already man, he's...

- Oh yeah? - Not in there.

So what, he's gonna come back, and then what?

What, then you're gone?

Who's gonna, who's gonna take care of Julia and Mary,

protect them?

Well it's obviously not gonna be you, Princess Peach.

You better take that shit back, bro.

Oh yeah, or else?

Guys calm down, please.

Look, just forget it, okay?

What?

I didn't see, I must have imagined it.

Nobody was there.

Are you kidding me?

I have to have imagined it.

Look, let's just carry on, it's gonna be getting dark soon.

Are you sure, Mary?

Yes, please, Josh, can we just change the conversation?

Are the cameras set up?

- Yeah, they're upstairs. - And the lights

are installed, yeah?

Yeah, they're installed.

Then let's just go straight to the hall.

I'm sure we can get some fake image manipulation there.

All right.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine, thank you.

- What did you really see? - Nothing, okay?

I didn't see anything.

Mary.

Whoa.

This place is dope.

Yeah.

Crazy, how long has this been around?

Well Rick was saying, this place has been around

for already over a hundred years.

It used to be a lung sanitarium

for people who had tuberculosis.

Then during the World War, the Nazis came in,

and turned this whole entire place

into an experimental station.

Apparently they used to test on the residents

of the Sachsenhausen concentration camp.

- Ooh, that's terrible. - Sick.

I know, so many people must have died here.

What a fucking disgrace.

And then I think it was the Russians

who then moved in, and also turned this institute

into a military hospital for their troops.

Dave, can you swing up there?

Communism's the killing stroke of this area.

House left empty, no investors could be found.

This building was left forgotten.

Until today.

Well, until a few years ago, actually.

When the first ghost stories were found.

And it was these videos that went all over the internet

and naturally just encouraged them to spread.

Yeah, and today we're gonna prove it's all true.

No, we're gonna prove it's all fake.

And it's here we're gonna continue that.

Do you remember that video we watched?

And we saw that chair that looked like it was being pulled

by invisible hands?

Yeah, that was crazy.

Yeah, exactly.

So, here we've got a chair.

Chair and a piano.

Josh, do you got that fishing line?

Uh, yeah?

Thank you.

Dave, can you go to the stand,

put the camera up, and get this in a wide angle?

Meanwhile, I'm just gonna tie this fishing line

to the chair.

Will you let me help you?

Thank you.

- Right. - Okay.

So Josh, what do you remember seeing in that video?

- Um, there's a chair. - Yeah.

- And then a ghost... - Yeah.

Pushed it.

- Just pushed it, exactly. - Yeah.

And I'm gonna show you how easy it is

to fake that video, ready?

What?

But for now, just clear the space.

Needs to be as empty as possible.

And.

And just like that you've got yourself a fake ghost video.

Thank you, I know, I try, I try.

- Whoa, what was that? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Oh my god, what... - That's, this shit is real.

Let's get out of here.

The chair was unbalanced, okay?

- Unbalanced? - Unbalanced?

Yes, unbalanced!

Did you see what just happened?

You're unbalanced.

Have you ever heard of a coincidence?

Coincidence?

Come on, you saw what happened.

That was a coincidence,

and you're just those typical people

who fall for all things fake,

and read into everything they see.

Well you know what, fine, okay?

Let's say it was a coincidence.

- Which it was. - Which it wasn't.

But did you see the way the chair moved?

Yes, but it's all in our imagination.

This is what this is all about!

All right, fine.

- Do you know what I think? - What?

These fake videos aren't as fake as you'd like them to be.

Fine, I'm sure there is some sort of explanation.

But for now, we've got plenty to do before night,

so let's grab our stuff and move to the hall.

We've still got to work with the flour,

work with the footprints,

and I also want to show you how easy it is to fake EVPs.

Josh, are you okay?

Yeah, I just always wanted to play the piano.

What?

Are you fucking kidding?

I really need something to drink, man.

I know right, I've been craving all day.

Yeah.

There you go.

Got the beer, got the backpack.

Yep, comme ca.

Hi, come over here, look!

That's deep in the forest.

Yeah.

It's pretty.

So that's where you've been!

Come on!

Just been hiding.

Yes, found a hiding place.

Now we're stuck.

Oh my god, this is dope.

I know right?

We just found it.

Cool, what happened?

I dunno, it looked like the place burned down?

I think it's beautiful.

- Yes. - Yeah, and seems we

don't know it's safe

Hey, do you guys see making a fire

and watch the sunset?

- Such a great idea! - Ah, yeah, you wanna,

you wanna beer?

Yeah, sure, and then I'll grab one for you too.

Thanks, bro.

- Sure. - Y'all want one?

- Thanks. - I'm all right, thank you.

Dave?

My guy, work it in.

You have one?

- Cheers. - Cheers!

Do you remember that sweet game from last year?

When that dude tried to tackle you,

you just passed him on the left,

drove past him on the right,

passed the ball to you,

pat it into the box,

you brought it back to me, had a,

and we scored.

- Scored, and to win the game. - Yeah.

Championship, too.

Man, those were the days.

- Yeah. - I miss that shit.

Boys and their balls, huh?

Oh, I'm sorry we can't talk about sophisticated topics

like, um, how do I apply my makeup best?

And like, what's this brand?

And would you like to like, comment, and subscribe?

All the sweet glamor of the YouTube life.

Yeah well, would you like to be a fucking retard for once?

Excuse me?

Well just 'cause you haven't a clue about fashion,

- I mean... - I don't need

to have a clue about fashion.

I can dress myself and that's fine.

Oh yeah, I can tell.

Seriously though, like, speaking of YouTube,

Mary, why do you think all the ghost videos

on YouTube are fake?

Simply because they are?

But what is your, what's your source?

Like who tells you that they're fake?

Or how do you know that?

Well you know me, I'm really sick.

And no-one's told me, but we just know

that there are no ghosts that affect us

with the way we live, 'cause as humans we differ from that.

We can make our own decisions

and affect the way we live ourselves,

in our own ways of doing it.

You know Mary, I think that's really, really pathetic.

No, seriously, no, honestly, come on now.

There's no scientific proof to prove anything that exists

from the beyond, and if there are photos and videos,

they can be almost proved 100% wrong.

Exactly, key word, almost.

Exactly.

You know exactly what I'm trying to say here.

And there might be some unknown cases,

- but no. - Well what if it's exactly

those unknown cases that explain the whole thing?

- I mean, who knows? - Who knows?

- Yeah, who knows? - Uh, physicists?

Chemists, biologists?

What about parapsychologists?

- Thank you! - Oh please, I beg you.

No seriously, just try

and be a bit more open minded about this.

Okay, I will try and be a bit more open minded about this

and say that, from now on, I'll believe that ghosts exist.

- Thank you. - Yes, because they do exist.

Oh please, not you as well, Julia.

Oh come on, Mary, you promised to be more open, right?

- Right. - Okay, so now listen.

Okay, I'm listening.

When I was about eight or nine years old,

we moved into this new house.

I started having trouble falling asleep

but I don't even know why.

But night after night I would wake up

soaked in sweat, crying for my mom.

She would come and comfort me

and tell me that I'd just had a bad dream.

That could've been from stress.

You moved to a new house, that obviously disturbed

the way you were feeling.

That was not it, all right?

I loved the house, I had this big garden,

so much room to play, my parents were happy, we were happy.

Still, night after night I would be having those nightmares.

So after three or four weeks, my mom promised

that she would stay up until I'd fallen asleep, in my room.

Guess she couldn't bear my crying any longer.

It was probably also a way to comfort herself.

You know what, sounds like a great mom.

Yeah, she is, and it worked.

Last thing I remember was her kind face smiling at me.

And then I woke up.

I saw my mom sitting in the corner, staring at me,

and her face was frozen.

Then I noticed that she wasn't looking at me.

But right above me.

So I turned around.

And I looked at this black face,

with like white fangs and red eyes.

It was bending over me and pulling my hair.

I started screaming, so the lights went on

and my dad came in and pulled me out of the bed,

and I did a lot of crying that night.

Shortly after that I fell asleep in the car,

and we never went back to that house again.

Pretty soon after that, we moved.

My parents told me that the house had gotten too expensive

and we would have to look for a new one,

blah, blah, blah.

I didn't ask any questions.

But every time I looked into my mom's eyes,

I was reminded of that shocked look on her face that night.

That's really deep.

Yeah, you're sure, you know,

it wasn't just a delusion or something?

No, I wasn't delusional, it was real, and it still is.

Even though the memory may be slowly fading,

but that doesn't change anything.

I personally think that might've just been

a case of sleep paralysis, most kids tend to get that

when their brains are still developing at a young age.

They're still fast asleep in a deep REM sleep,

but they believe that they're awake,

so it's as if they're paralyzed, you know?

And your dreams could've become mixed with reality

and reality could've become blurred.

It was not sleep paralysis, all right Mary?

I dunno, everything can be scientifically explained.

It just, to us it sounds like vanities of a young child.

You know what?

Seriously, I know what happened, okay?

And if you don't wanna understand, fine.

Just forget about it.

Oh my god.

It's all right, it's fine, I'll take care of her.

Don't do anything you couldn't scientifically explain.

That was kind of fucked up.

Yeah, maybe, but come on, it's sleep paralysis.

Look, I'll even look it, I'll double check it up on YouTube.

On YouTube, doesn't, like,

that's not even a reliable source.

You can post anything on YouTube, seriously.

But what's more important is that they just left,

and we need to go find them.

- Come on. - Fine.

This is going to be so bloody ridiculous.

It was definitely sleep paralysis.

Hi Julia.

I just want to apologize for earlier.

It's okay, just promise me that you'll be more open, okay?

I hate it when you're being such a smart ass.

Yeah, I know, I can be a bit of a shit friend.

I know.

Accepted?

- You bitch. - Hey, so are you!

Didn't want to ruin your little lesbian moment,

but where's Michael at?

I mean, he's not with you?

No, why, I have no idea where he is.

I don't believe this.

We gotta go find him, I have no idea where he is either.

Thought he was with y'all.

Where's this guy?

Michael, Michael!

Michael!

Dude where are you?

I bet you he's hiding somewhere, that fucker.

Michael?

God, it's like he's in bloody kindergarten.

If he jumps out now, I'm gonna fucking kill him.

I just saw a bat,

and another bat.

No, no, no, no.

- Augh! - Michael!

Michael, it's not funny anymore.

Michael, where are you?

I mean, the fool could be anywhere.

I'm telling you,

- if I get my hands on him. - Josh, wait!

Don't just leave without us.

Oh this is pointless, let's just go back to the hall.

All right, stay together though,

this is some scary shit.

Michael.

Wasting our time.

Where's he gone?

Michael!

Julia.

It's so cold, this isn't funny anymore.

When I get ahold of him, I'm gonna fucking kill him.

Chill out, we don't need him, right?

It'll be cool, like, just, what the fuck?

Does that mean the batteries are running low?

No, I just changed the batteries.

Guys, let's go, guys, come on.

You fucking asshole.

We have to go!

What?

Look, guys, we have to get out of here right now.

- Why? - Chill out man,

what the fuck are you talking about?

No, he's gonna get us.

- Michael! - No.

- Bro. - We have to go!

Let's go!

No, no.

Wait for Michael!

What is going on?

Go, go, go!

Go, go, Julia!

Come on!

Oh, shit!

Come on, fuck it!

Michael, what the fuck?

Who was that, man?

He's been watching us this entire time.

I told you, and you wouldn't listen.

Michael calm down, we need to look after Julia.

No we don't, we need to look after ourselves.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck you man.

Mary, do you have that first aid kit?

No.

Dave, do you?

Are you serious?

Wait, Josh.

Dude, what, what did you do, man?

Look I didn't do anything, it was just,

it was there, it was just, it was in my head

- all of a sudden. - Such a god damn idiot!

No, we need to get out!

We're not supposed to be here!

No, we're fine, we're safe in here, bro, chill out!

What the fuck?

We're not safe, give me the car keys.

- No, we gotta stay. - No, we need to

take Julia out.

Car keys!

Julia, I'm sorry.

Michael.

The fuck, man?

- The hell's wrong with you? - Michael, come back!

- Please. - Oh my god.

- It hurts so bad. - Oh my god.

Hey, this isn't good.

Come on, come on, come on, just go on.

Just go on!

Fuck!

Come on, come on.

Oh god!

Okay, I got it.

Ooh.

Come on.

Yeah I think the coast is clear,

we'll find our way out,

but we've got to keep as quiet as possible.

What about Michael?

Oh, he's already at the car.

He would've had the car started if he was at the car.

Hey we've gotta keep,

Julia's getting worse, you guys, we gotta go.

I know, I'm sorry.

I think it's this way.

I think we came from that way though.

I can't remember.

Maybe down here.

It's definitely going in...

Hey, come on.

We've got to stay quiet.

Shh, shh, shh.

It could be anywhere right now, seriously.

Keep an eye out.

Which, what way?

Over here.

Watch your step.

You okay?

You okay Julia?

Come on.

- What, what's going on? - Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

As it was that thing.

What?

From the book.

From, what are you talking about, what thing?

That thing from the children's book.

What, seriously?

Yes.

Here.

What the fuck.

Guys, we really should not be standing still.

Yeah, we gotta go.

Josh come on, we need to help her.

Bro.

Josh, can you help with it, please?

I'm trying, we gotta move as fast as we can.

- Watch out. - We've got

to turn right now, okay?

This is not, are you sure?

What?

This is where we went through it.

No, we haven't been here, this is,

everything looks so different.

This wasn't here before.

The room keeps changing its shape.

That's not, that's not even possible.

This is a dead end, where are we?

- What the fuck? - Stop talking.

- What? - Shh.

Hey I remember, I remember this hallway, yeah.

This is the way, this is the way out.

Guys I, I can't keep going.

Julia!

Josh, she feels really warm.

Mama?

Why are you looking like this?

Hey, we have to get out of here fast.

- Oh! - Julia!

Oh shit!

We've got to get her out!

She's gone now.

Oh great.

What is going on?

Michael.

Oh shit.

Hey asshole!

Oh god.

Hey!

Fuck you.

Michael!

Dude just shot and killed him!

Dude you told me that thing was empty with blanks.

Well you know what, it came in handy after all.

What even is it, it's not human.

And that stench.

Well man, we gotta get out of here.

We gotta go, where's Julia?

He took her.

What do you mean, took her?

Dude, never mind, let's just find Julia

and get the hell out of here, man.

No, no, we just have to get out of here.

Oh, and pro tip, the car doesn't start anymore.

So here's your choice,

you're gonna stay here, look for Julia, and die,

or you're gonna come with me and live.

So tell me, what's it gonna be?

Michael, we're not leaving without Julia.

All right, then stay here and die.

God damn it, no!

Michael!

Son of a bitch!

Josh, let's go!

Go, let him go, Mary!

God damn it, it fucking killed Michael, man.

Come on!

Where are we going?

Just keep going, just keep going straight.

Watch out.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, come on.

No Josh, come on, we have to get out of here.

Come on with me and trust me.

Oh please.

I really do not want to be here any longer.

Sit down, just chill out.

Dave, you too, just be, just be quiet.

I think we're safe, I think we'll be fine in here

if we just stay quiet and calm.

He ripped off his head.

I know, but don't worry about it right now.

There's nothing we...

Michael's dead.

Yeah.

Julia's also probably dead.

- We're going to die here. - No we're not.

I'm gonna get us out of here, I promise.

We good.

It's all true.

That was Julia!

What, wait, what, hold on.

Hey, it came from that way, wait.

Oh no, please no!

Help!

I'm so, I'm sorry.

Where is this door coming from?

We just came from here!

We gotta get out of here, come on.

This way!

A tunnel?

Where does it go?

Let's just hope out.

Oh shit.

- God damn... - Ow!

- Josh come on! - I'm going!

Oh shit, come on.

- What the... - What is this?

Josh don't touch it!

We should not go that way.

Dave, watch out!

Come on, we gotta hurry up, though, seriously.

Fuck, Mary, oh my god,

oh my god.

Shit, dude, drop the camera and help me open this shit.

God damn it.

Where am I?

Hello?

Mary, Mary!

Hello?

What the, dude, that was downstairs.

Dude, come on, let's go!

Mary!

This way.

Josh, there you are!

Thank god you're okay.

I can't do this anymore, they're all dead.

No, no.

Hey, listen, I'm gonna get us the fuck out of here

but we have to go now, right now, come on.

- Okay. - Dave, let's go.

Josh, hurry up.

- I'm going. - Come on!

This way!

What, why, why, why?

It's the teddy.

What teddy, what are you talking about?

The teddy!

From, from the notebook!

What?

Trust me, okay?

Hey, come on.

Hi, hi, hi, all right, come on.

Get down, get down, Dave get down.

Lights off.

He's gone, he's gone, he's gone, he's gone.

Now's our chance.

Okay, come on, let's go.

We made it!

Oh my god, shit!

Time to die!

No, no, no, no, no!

It's all true!

Subtitles by explosiveskull